Citation
The Lively city o' Ligg

Material Information

Title:
The Lively city o' Ligg : a cycle of modern fairy tales for city children
Creator:
Burgess, Gelett, 1866-1951 ( Author, Primary )
Ellis, Harvey, b. 1852 ( Illustrator )
Frederick A. Stokes Company ( Publisher )
Place of Publication:
New York
Publisher:
Frederick A. Stokes Company
Publication Date:
Language:
English
Physical Description:
219 p. 7 leaves of plates : ill. (some col.) ; 22 cm.

Subjects

Subjects / Keywords:
Wit and humor, Juvenile ( lcsh )
Children's stories ( lcsh )
Children's stories -- 1899 ( lcsh )
Fantasy literature -- 1899 ( rbgenr )
Dust jackets (Bindings) -- 1899 ( rbbin )
Baldwin -- 1899
Genre:
Children's stories
Fantasy literature ( rbgenr )
Dust jackets ( rbbin )
novel ( marcgt )
Spatial Coverage:
United States -- New York -- New York
Target Audience:
juvenile ( marctarget )

Notes

Summary:
Inanimate objects have a life their own in the city o' Ligg.
General Note:
Plates colored by Harvey Ellis.
Statement of Responsibility:
by Gelett Burgess ; with fifty-three illustrations by the author.

Record Information

Source Institution:
University of Florida
Rights Management:
This item is presumed to be in the public domain. The University of Florida George A. Smathers Libraries respect the intellectual property rights of others and do not claim any copyright interest in this item. Users of this work have responsibility for determining copyright status prior to reusing, publishing or reproducing this item for purposes other than what is allowed by fair use or other copyright exemptions. Any reuse of this item in excess of fair use or other copyright exemptions may require permission of the copyright holder. The Smathers Libraries would like to learn more about this item and invite individuals or organizations to contact The Department of Special and Area Studies Collections (special@uflib.ufl.edu) with any additional information they can provide.
Resource Identifier:
026611058 ( ALEPH )
ALG3207 ( NOTIS )
08699881 ( OCLC )
99005598 ( LCCN )

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Full Text
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The Baldwin Library

University]
RmB oe. |
Florida







THE LIVELY
CITY O’ LIGG



_ BE A GOOP?

By GELETT BURGESS

Author of ‘‘Goops and How To Be Them,” etc.

The average child of five years, says
Gelett Burgess, has about one hundred
and fifty faults.

Children gradually outgrow most of
' their faults as they do their milk teeth.
_ 3ut those that don’t drop out naturally
eed a little moral help.

WHY BE A GOOP? contains
painless treatment for seventy-six
of these little errors of deportment,
administered with a sugar-coating
of humor.

Not only are they warnings
and guides so jinglingly put as to
enter into the child’s subcon-
scious mind, but in this latest of
the popular and now classic
Goop books, Gelett Burgess has
contrived, in the little stories
about his grotesque pictures, to
implant many hints to Parents
as to original methods for cor-
recting the faults he describes
and dramatizes.

With 76 pages of illustrations


























$2.50







THE LIVELY |

—" — —










THE LIVELY CITY O7 LIGG



































































































THE LIV BLY
EVrrTY OF LIGG

_. A Cycle of Modern Fairy Tales
for City Children

BY

GELETT BURGESS

FORMERLY EDITOR OF THE “LARK”

AUTHOR OF “VIVETTE,” ETC,

WITH FIFTY-THREE ILLUSTRATIONS
BY THE AUTHOR

Sy

NEW YORK
FREDERICK A. STOKES COMPANY,

PUBLISHERS .





COPYRIGHT, 1899,

By GELETT BURGESS

Printed in the United States of America



TO
ARNOLD’S SENSITIVE TASTE
AND
ROBIN’S ADVENTUROUS SPIRIT
THESE HEADLONG FANCIES
ARE FEARFULLY SUBMITTED.



The Author and Illustrator desires to express his
gratitude to Mr, HARVEY ELLIS, of Rochester, N.
Y., for the interest he has added to this book by a
sympathetic colouring of the plates, achieved with an
originality far above the capacity of their envious

draughtsman.



CONTENTS.

PAGE

LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS, . : : ui 3 Da Ut
PREFACE. THE CIDIVATION OF INANIMATE THINGS. : ely,
CHAPTER i .
J. THE TERRIBLE TRAIN, . : 5 . . - 31
Il. THE RUNAWAY CHAIRS, : a ' : EAL
Ill. THE THREE ELEVATORS, ; 5 G a ae (5)
IV. THE VERY GRAND PIANO, 5 : ; 5 e063
V. THE PERT FIRE ENGINE, 2 a ‘ ' ZS
VI. THE INSANE BATTERY, . 3 fi ; : 83
VII THE HILARIOUS HaNsoM, : ; i é - 95
VILL THE STEAMBOAT AND THE LOCOMOTIVE, . . . 105
_ IX. THE BOTHERSOME BRIG, : i s . %I19
X. THE Hous—E WHO WALKED IN HER crater: ey ; . 131
XI. THE BOLD BALLOON, . : d a ‘ - 143
XII. THE Lazy LAMPPOSTS, . . : G : FOLTS 3,
XIII. THE BICYCLE’S FAMILY, 3 5 A A . 165
XIV. THE FLYING STABLE, . . 3 . 6 SS
XV. THE BLIND CAMERA, . % > . . . 187
XVI. THE BUMPTIOUS BRIDGE, . O . A . 199

XVII. THE ECCENTRIC Loom,. a . 6 . . 213



LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS.

Washing the Terrible Train, half drowned and spluttering, out into the

air. (Coloured.) . : ; e - | « Frontispiece.
PAGE

A Train that would climb the Church Steeple and spinthe Weather Vane. 29
His faithful Train supported him by doing acrobatic tricks for tourists,

(Heading). . . . . 31
The Train coiled itself up in the Orenestial and, lazily ramping its tal
against the Balconies, it fell asleep. . : 5 - 38

A gallant charge of Rocking-chairs attacked the carters. (Coloured, 4 40
The Furniture formed in line and marched silently to the Park (Head’g). 41

At twelve o’ clock the Doors of the Houses slowly opened. . - 44
The express Elevator flew through the house high into the air. . eS 3
At the end of the main corridor was a shaft in which lived Three Elevators.

(Heading.) . és a 5 . . ‘ 55
“Come on and help! I can’t hold on it ech longer !” said the strong

Elevator. . : : . : 58
The Piano, standing beneath the long arms of his beloved Windmit,

would serenade her plaintively. (Coloured.) Qj . : 62
The Piano tore out a few heavy wires and threw them as far as he could.

(Heading), . . 63
The Very Grand Piano made his way, with the help ofa Road Engine to

the Windmill. : : . ‘ . 67
Suddenly the Telegraph poles closed around him. . . . STL
The Fire Engine, with a laugh, sent a stream of water through its win-

dow. (Heading.) . : A : : : Sse

He was severely scolded by the Mayor o’ Ligg. . : . set 7 8



12 LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS.

The Cannons now began firing at everything in sight. (Coloured.)

The Cannons lay about the fortifications, wheezing and sneezing and
coughing, (Heading.) 3 " ‘ . . .

One after another the Guns were dismounted. . ae .

The Hansom, with a terrible jerk, threw his shaft ee and tossed the
horse high into the air. ; ;

The Cab Wheels began to revolve, and they oo to sail, up the # river like

a new sort of steamboat. (Heading.) :
The last thing the Hansom saw of the mill it was disappearing into the
forest, a half mile away. seb : f :
The Locomotive hoisted the Steamboat on top of his cab, and set out
across the fields. (Coloured) ; . .
At midnight the Locomotive got on board the Sisctnboat and she
steamed slowly up the river. (Heading.)
The Balloon then rose, and the Locomotive and the Steamboat were

hoisted high in the air. : : : 7 .
The Locomotive finally succeeded in climbing a tall tree. .
It was impossible to get. the Brig round the corner. . . .
The Brig went forward easily, under full sail. (Heading.) , .

The Brig dipped her bowsprit under the wheel of the Steam Roller and
pushed till she had got the machine up the bank.

The Church hid behind a clump of trees to see the little House swimming

~ in her sleep! (Coloured.) . : , 6 . :

The little House had always behaved with the greatest propriety.
(Heading) . : : : , : : :

The two dripping, purple buildings embraced each other with touching
fondness. . . . : . 6 5 Me

The City Clocks used to make faces at him, but he paid them well for
that by twisting their hands round the wrong way.

Slowly, his silken bag filled with gas, and his strength returned.
(Heading.) . 4 . . : . s i

PAGE

83
88

93

95

IoL

104,

105

110
IIo

117

119
122
130
131
135
14!

143



bist (OF 1hL US? VAG TONS:

‘How do you do?” said the Sewing-machine, “and who are you?” .

Wading in boldly, they carefully pushed their way through the waves.
(Coloured.) . . : I

The Lampposts on Queer Street were the most disorderly i in the City 0’
Ligg. (Heading.) : : i

As they reached the harbour, the Lampposts became exeeedingte ill.

A maroon-enamelled machine shot after her, at a terrific speed.

Mr. Diamond Frame was proud of his family and his connections.
(Heading.) .. s 0 ' A , 5

She found her lover disgracefully lurching round the rink, ve the
weight of a fat man, learning to ride ! :

The Stable stuck there, pierced through by the spire, impaled an fee
dred feet high above the street. (Coloured.) : 6

The Stable rose steadily in the air, like a balloon! (Heading.) .

It was their firm belief that the Stable devoured horses. .

He opened the door and stepped out into the studio to tell co ottiers

about it. : a 3 j a
He stood on his head. (Heading.) » . . ‘
He sank on a painted imitation balustrade. ; . :

The Train gave a tremendous leap into the air and hurdled the Bridge. .
It was not a good, honest Suspension Bridge, hung from wire cables, but

was supported by iron rods and straps. (Heading.) i
The Crane picked up the carriages one by one and tossed them into the
river. : ; : . :
He led them over to No. 7, and the Mayor and Vak looked neu at
the roll of Tapestry. . é ; 4 5 . 4
The Mayor laughed. “That is a crazy Gcsien, isn’t it?” said the
Mayor. (Heading.) : : : . :
Yak had been cutting up the Tapestry and had it Svende out on the floor
and walls. . : : . . ° .

13
PAGE
147
152
153
156
163
165
166

174
175
176
185
187
190
199
201
206
211

213

216









a
0
fy
ea)
pe
a















IIRELEACCIE for Skeptic Parents
De Coivation of Jnanimate Diings

THERE is no mistake more common in everyday life,
than that which transposes cause for effect; and it is no-
where more common than in our conception of Inanimate
Objects. We say that because Objects are inanimate,
therefore they are not intelligent ; whereas the proper
reasoning would affirm that because they are not intelli-
gent, therefore they are not animated. This casuistry,
however, does not carry us far afield, since most are will-
ing to accept without challenge the fact that such objects
are, in point of fact, neither animated nor intelligent. It
is only when we push the investigation toward the
speculation as to whether or not they ever existed in any
other condition, that opinions diverge.

It is remarkable what slow progress has been made in



iS THE LIVELY Cily 0 11GG.

this question since its partial discussion by Mrs. Walker.
Her essay upon the Total Depravity of Inanimate Things *
broke the first ground, but subsequent attempts to pursue
the matter have been few and fitful. Mrs. Walker, indeed
proceeded in the most unscientific and loose manner, and
contented herself with an analysis of a minor consideration,
a specialised detail of the characteristics of Inanimate Ob-
jects, missing the opportunity of being the first to formulate
the theory that such objects do or did actually possess more
or less highly developed characteristics, manners and
customs, of which their total depravity is but one evidence.

It is not too late, then, to go back to the main point
at issue, and assemble the main evidences of what may be
called character, in the Unnatural Science of the whole
genera. To be comprehensive, to catalogue all the data
bearing upon the subject, would extend unduly the limits
of such an essay as this, and therefore, only a few of the
many various phases of the subject will be taken up;
enough to prove indubitably the thesis, but leaving to
subsequent investigators the collocation of the myriad
facts necessary to establish the definitive and exhaustive
deductions that shall formulate and classify all inanimate
phenomena.

* «The Total Depravity of Inanimate Things,” by Mrs. E. A. Walker. “ Little
Classics” Series,—Volume V. “ Laughter.”

ra ad ree





PREFACE, 19

The three most convincing proofs that such an unnat-
ural science does exist, and that, whatever their present
condition, inanimate objects are derived from similar
objects possessing animation in a more or less developed
state, from which condition they have, in the supremacy
of Man, degenerated, are as follows:

I. Evidences of prehistoric animation, shown by
Etymology, in the gender of words in foreign languages,
and English idiom, etc.

II. Evidences of a comatose or degenerate animation
in the Objects themselves.

III. Evidences of degenerate functions and features in
Architecture.

1. We have only to inspect the empirical use of gender
in French and other substantives, to be confronted imme-
diately with a paradox which the affirmation of this
thesis alone can explain. The English language has, it
is true, discarded the old categories, but that, it might
be said, ex passant, is but another example of the hard
and fast literalness of our tongue, its radical spirit, con-
stantly changing to the spirit of new. conditions, its dis-
regard for derivation and analogy ; in a word, its
wonderful power of growth. We need only go back one
step to the French, however, to find the evidences which
English Etymology has been in such haste to conceal.



6 THE LIVELY CEry oO, Lice

In French, then, we have the following Objects, for
example, classed as Masculine: Balloon, Piano, Train,
Cannon, Cab, Mill, and Boat; while other things are
designated as Feminine, such as House, Chair, Table,
Locomotive, Church, Stable, and Lantern.

Obviously, where there is evidence of sex, there must
have been life, one being a function of the other, and the
inevitable conclusion is that at some period of their exist-
ence, all these Objects,and many others, must have been
known to be, or to have been, animate as late as the rise
of the Romance tongues.

At first glance the German Language seems to con-
tain evidences of a transitionary state, and, to mark the
first abandonment of the old tradition that objects had
been once alive, we find the use of the neuter gender,
so called, to distinguish many objects, as well as a double
use of masculine and feminine. For instance, we have
three words for Mill: AZezzel, (Masculine) Muehle (fem-
inine) and Hammerwerk, (Neuter). The superficial
explanation would doubtless be, that with the growing
distrust in the early legends, the genders of objects had be-
come confused in the Teutonic mind, newly freed from the
strict empire of this theory, and become lax and inaccurate,
and theres no doubt that the increasing use of the neuter
form played havoc with the former recognised distinction,





2 PRB RA GE: ap oe 21

Indeed, it is only fair to say, this view is strenghtened by
the fact that many words masculine in French are femi-
nine in German,—Cannon, Boat, for instance, to cite from
our previous list, where, too, the reverse case may be
exemplified as well.

A deeper reasoning, however, will convince one that
this theory is not inadequate, and it is impossible to escape
the more comprehensive explanation that this double
form in so many substantives proves a much more
reasonable state of things, i. e, that objects in their
animate state had highly developed sexual distinctions,
even amongst things of the same sort. In fine, there were
doubtless male and female houses, mills, and pianos, &c.,
as might naturally be inferred & przorz. Thus the Ger-
man Genders hark back to the primeval knowledge of
mankind even more clearly than the French, the Teu-
tonic imagination and poetic insight retaining faith in
the early myths long after it had crystalised into an
empirical dogma amongst the Gauls.

But though we have not these convincing evidences”
in English etymology, our native idiom preserves many
traces of the folk, or rather the object-lore of our
ancestors. We still speak of the legs of a chair, of the
arms of a sofa, the back of a settee, the hands of a watch.
It is idle to controvert the, obvious inference by suppos-



22 THE LIVELY: CITY 0’ LIGG.

ing these to have been named merely by resemblances of
form. Does the leg of a table resemble in any way the
leg of a man or a horse? No! it undoubtedly was so
named, far back in the early days of the. race, because at
one time tables had legs, with which they stood, walked,
ran and kicked. In the same way it is not uncommon,
even nowadays, to hear that highly suggestive idiom :
“the lamp has gone out,” and the craftsmen, who per-
haps preserve more of the old words and phrases than any
other class, still speak of the “teeth” of saws, the
“heads” of nails, the “eyes” of needles: the printer
“feeds” his press ; we speak of a piano as “ grand” or
“upright,” we even distinguish “bell” buoys. These
are only a few of a thousand cases that might be cited in
support of the theory.

2. The evidence of degenerate functions or even
actions of Inanimate Objects has been too well shown,
in the above-mentioned essay, to need much elaboration
here. The reader is referred to that work, and, his eyes
once opened to the bearing of its evidence upon the higher
' issues involved, he may easily read into the text, a full
exposition of the importance of such phenomena, in their
bearing upon the case. Many other manifestations
might be adduced, such as the table-tipping of Spiritual-
ists, never before accounted for by this simple explana-







a a A A i

PREEACE:. - 23

tion, the shutting of doors, and the ease with which

small articles get lost. A ball left standing upon the
slope of a hill, will run down to the bottom. The clock
moves its hands, strikes, and goes slow or fast; all
objects grow old. If these instances are not conclusive,
further multiplication of cases is futile.

3. Not the least interesting, though perhaps not the
most conclusive, evidence of a previous state of animation
in Inanimate Objects is to be found in Architecture.
There is no doubt that houses were the most highly
organised, as well as the first and best known objects

with which Primeval Man was familiar. The esteem

with which dwellings were held by the descendants of the
cave-dwellers is evidenced in the earliest attempts to
imitate houses, and it is a remarkable and conclusive fact,
that as yet no single house burlt by our primitive ancestors,
however remote, has been found that does not possess
some sort of rude elementary door, and indeed, as far
back as the Lake dwellings, we have abundant corrob-
oration of the fact that windows were not unknown!

The door and window, in fact, were persistent elements
in all ancient Architecture. We can trace the influence
of the original idea through the Roman, Egyptian,
Greek, Byzantine, and Rénaissance periods, down to the
very end of the Victorian Era. What does this mean?



a THE LIVELY CllLy oO LVeG:

There is scarcely any doubt but that, in the original
Animate Objects, the door was by way of being the
mouth of the house, and it was but natural that Primitive
Man, to whom food was the most important need of his
savage life, emphasised the organ of Eating in his
earliest attempts at architecture. Next to subsistence
came the necessity for Seeing. Self Defence demanded
an eye, hence the window, the eyes of the extinct
Houses. We have just seen how these canons came
down to us and how in the development of Architecture
they were never wholly lost sight of. Indeed, one need
only to look at a modern house to recognise the rea-
sonableness of this hypothesis.

This much is too apparent to need further proof, and
few will have the temerity to deny the glaring probabili-
ties of the case, but the unnatural scientist will look
farther, and see a host of corroborative details. The
most striking, as well as one of the least-known phrases
lies in what might be called the “expression” of houses,
irrespective of any marked similarity to human beings.
This is what architects term “design.” It is enough to
say that certain houses have an anxious, some an uneasy,
and others a generous, reposeful aspect. Our poets are
fond of describing church steeples as “fingers pointing
Heavenward.” The illustration, and the whole miscon-







PREFACE. 25

ceived personification is ill-described, but it exemplifies a
state of things well understood by the imaginative.

Could space be afforded, proofs might also be added
from mythology and the sacred writings of early literature.
We will not insult our readers’ intelligence, however, by
burdening a volume of proof already overwhelming.

It is unfortunate, that, in this mechanical age, most
objects have lost more and more of those characteristics
which were common to all before their cidivation. It
may be said broadly, however, that the nearer an Object
approaches an art, the stronger is its personality, what-
ever be its powers of will, The piano is a familiar
instance, with its gracefully curved legs, which once were
capable of dignified locomotion, and its voice, now pro-
voked only at the discretion of the musician. The
Camera has other pronounced characteristics and quali-
ties, and a certain curious dignity of its own, despite its
absurd three legs (a rudimentary fourth being often
noticed), and the early over-development of its eye will
occur to every intelligent thinker.

It is not within the scope of this article to discuss the
causes which led to the degeneracy of this strange race
of objects, the means by which their freedom was sub-

verted by Man, or the scope and locus of its original civ-

ilisation.



26 THE LIVELY CMY O-LIGG,

Less apropos even than interesting this balance of
power is the consideration of the possibility of the cross-
ing of the two equi-dominant races or species, as hinted
in the analogies of the biped beasts of mythology. Here,
however, the reader may investigate for’ himself and
amuse himself with speculations upon the Aguus Cadal-
lustrade, the Liano or Piano Lion, the Giraffopost and
other. strange mongrels. There was doubtless a stage
in the progress of the two races, when animals and ob-
_ jects existed contemporaneously, and were equipped with
approximately equal powers, and it is to this era that the
mise en scene of the tales in this book belongs. But
the one was destined to go on and perfect a still higher
culture, while the other had already passed its summa-
tion of development, and was degenerating. The
struggle must have been furious, though probably of
short duration, and the laws of Evolution triumphed.
We can have no doubt but that it was a survival of the
fittest.



THE TERRIBLE TRAIN.











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AzouT twenty-one miles outside of the City o’ Ligg,
there was a long, narrow, dark, slimy tunnel like a worm-
hole in the hills—such a terrible tunnel that no one had

ever ventured inside for more than a few steps, and then
only by daylight. By night, no one had ever dared go
near this awful round hole at all, for in it lived a fearful,
fierce and furious railway train; the most terrific train
that ever was. It had once been harmless enough, and
had carried many a load of passengers from the seaside
up to the City o’ Ligg, but long ago it had escaped from
the railway station, and had run away into the hills, so
that it should not have to work.

The tunnel was so narrow that, when inside, the train
could not turn itself round, and one could hear it roaring
and hissing, deep in the dark inside of the hill, grumbling



32 THE LIVELY CITY © LiGG.

like a dragon. From time to time it would stick its head
out of the hole in the hillside, and whistle with wild, hor-
rible shrieks, and spit fire and steam out of its smoke-
stack, and cough out volumes of black smoke, in a way to
terrify the people for miles around.

It was an English train, all jointed together with little
coaches. Its head was an old-style locomotive, with a
closed cab like a monkey’s ears. Its thorax was com-
posed of first-class compartment carriages, its abdomen
of second and third-class carriages, and it had a tail likea
scorpion—a little, stumpy brake-van that wobbled from
side to side and would never stay on the line. From
nose to tail the train was all of a whitish yellow, like a
slug having faded and bleached by living in the darkness
of the tunnel for so many years.

The train looked for all the world like a big snake,
especially when it came out at night to eat fences: for,
as the neighbours had taken up the rails leading into the
tunnel, it had to hump itself along like an immense inch-
worm, covering an eighth of a mile at each hump! As
it worked its way along, it waved its yellow locomotive
head from side to side, and its shrieks frightened every
person in the country into his house, there to look, with
white face, from the third story windows, trembling, till
the monster had passed, and had gone back into his



THE TERRIBLE DRAIN. 33

tunnel to sleepily digest a few miles of picket-fence in
peace.

Now, many rewards had been offered by the Mayor of
the City o’Ligg for the capture of the terrible train, but
for a long, long time no one had dared even to think of
attempting such a dangerous feat. But there was in
town a little boy named Yak, very valourous and high-
spirited, who had set his wits to work upon the problem,
till at last a good idea crawled into his small head.

So one day he painted himself with black paint from
head to foot, so that he could not be seen in the dark.
He took a bag of jam sandwiches, and he crawled into
the tunnel, to spend the day in watching the train.
After he had got in a few miles, he heard the muffled hiss
of the engine’s pistons, and he flattened himself against
the side of the tunnel, and edged along in perfect silence.
It was an anxious moment, for if he should come across
the head of the train, it would be certain death, because
he knew that the train would chase him and eat him up
before he could get away.

Suddenly his foot slipped and he fell against the tail
of the train, hitting the brake-van that was wagging away
very contentedly. Yak’s heart jumped, and he gave him-
self up for lost; but seeing that the train had either not
noticed the blow, or had thought it was only some little



34 TRE LIVERY City oO fice.

hand-car that had ventured in, he worked himself along-
side the carriages till, round a curve, he saw a flicker, and
there was the train eating away, with its little head-light
flashing first on one side of the tunnel and then on the
other! The side walls were black and shiny masses of
rock, It was as Yak had expected—the train was eating
its dinner of anthracite coal!

As the boy watched, he accidentally touched a second.
class carriage in the train’s most sensitive and ticklish
spot. With a roar and a loud, screaming whistle, it be-
gan to writhe backwards to get at the intruder, but Yak
turned and ran for his life, and reached the mouth of the
tunnel just in time to escape being crushed under the
wheels,

In spite of the danger, however, Yak crawled into the ©
tunnel the next day and the next, to watch the train eat-
ing its dinner of anthracite coal. He had the good luck
never to encounter the head of the train, which would
undoubtedly have bitten him into little pieces, or even
swallowed him whole. The last day he went in was a
Sunday, when he found the train feeding at a new place,
and Yak saw, by the look of the dull black walls of the
tunnel, that this was where the train kept his soft, bitu-
minous coal. There was so little of it that the train kept
it only for Sundays, for soft coal was considered a great
delicacy by this greedy train,



THE TERRIBLE TRAIN. 35

Now that Yak was sure of the train’s weakness, he laid
his plans boldly, and, with the help of the Mayor o’ Ligg,
and a million labourers, he laid a line from the City
o’ Ligg to the mouth of the tunnel, and spread the track
very thickly with a layer of soft, bituminous coal. But to
get the train to turn around, so that it should come out
head first upon the line—that was the question !

The far end of the tunnel came out of the hill by the
side of a river, where Yak had often seen the train come
to drink, and so here the boy and the Mayor came, with
their million men. They dug and they delved for many
nights and many days, till they had dammed the stream,
and made a new channel leading from the. river to the
mouth of the tunnel. When, at last, all was ready, they
waited till the train had gone into the tunnel after drink-
ing one evening and then turned the stream into the por-
tal, and it rushed through the hole in the hill like a
deluge, washing the terrible train, half drowned and
spluttering, head foremost, out into the open air, along-
side the new laid-line. The train, which had not had a
bath for many, many years, took it a good deal more
good-humouredly than might have been expected, and,
shaking itself till the water was spattered over the
countryside like a thunderstorm, it crawled upon the em-
bankment, and began to eat. the soft coal, as if nothing
disturbing had happened.



ge el TE DWE LV Cie O..15 biG G:

When it had eaten all it could burn, it slowly backed
into the tunnel again and slept all night, snoring loudly.
It came out every day after that, rolling along the rails,
and eating a little more coal each time, getting gradually
farther and farther from its tunnel, till, in three weeks
it had boldly entered the City 0’ Ligg!

Now, the end of the line led into the Grand Opera
House, and precisely a month after its bath, the train
puffed into the building, heavy with coal, and coiling it-
self up in the orchestra and. lazily thumping its tail
against the balconies, it fell fast asleep !

In a moment the doors were bolted. Then, telling the
Mayor that the rest was easily done, Yak ran home and
went to bed, for he had not had a good night's sleep for
a month, :

When he re-entered the Grand Opera House, the train

was lying in a stupor, its tail limp, and its little head-light
dull and smoky. ‘Yak seated himself beside the locomo-
tive and softly stroked its head. As the train slowly
awoke, it felt the little boy oiling its wheels, and quietly
rubbing the connecting-rods, and polishing the brasses
and boiler of its locomotive. This kindness was too
affecting for the train to resist; its engine would not
snort and its bell rang very softly, so as not to frighten
its little friend. Yak came every day to see the train,



THe TERRIBLE VER AIN: 37

and at last the monster grew so tame that it would eat
out of the boy’s hand.

The train was now released from the Opera House and
all the citizens of the City o’ Ligg came out to welcome
it and its little master. All praised its docility. The
little girls brought garlands of roses and hung them
round its neck, and the ladies of the town trimmed it with
flags, while the men painted it freshly with white and
gold. It was pointed out to all the railway stations asa
model of deportment.

The train never outgrew its love for its little master,
Yak, and it became his especial pet, carrying him to
school every day, and waiting for him under the trees
until he was ready to return home. It would, however,
never allow any of the other children on its back ; it
would gently but firmly shake them off, whenever they
attempted to steala ride. Long after Yak grew too old
to work, his faithful train supported him by doing acro-
batic tricks for tourists in the City o’ Ligg, and many
strangers brought away with them strange and improba-
ble tales of a train that would stand on its head fora
penny, or climb the church steeple and spin the weather
vane for their amusement.

At last the train died. It was asad and cruel death,
" caused by a malicious little boy, who was jealous of Yak’s



33 OTE VIVE Ee vo LD Ye sO" LG:

reputation as a train-tamer. He found the train alone
one night, on a siding, and, after uncoupling all the
carriages, shunted them around to different parts of the
station yard. The next morning help was sent for, but,

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by a fearful mistake, the train was put together wrongly,
with all the third-class carriages next the locomotive! It
had much trouble in digesting even the softest coke or
wood after this, and at last it came to a standstill upon a
suspension bridge, and never moved again.



THE RUNAWAY CHAIRS.















































































































































































































































































































































































































E RU

Iv’ was a sly old rocking-chair that began it, but the

conspiracy spread so quickly all over the City o’ Ligg
that all the furniture must have been quite ready for the
plot.

_ “ Thave been sat upon quite enough!” said the rocker ;

“ not to speak of the horrid men that put their feet in my
lap.”

“J don’t see why you should care if they put their feet
on you,” a pert little foot-stool replied. ‘“ For my part, I
think it’s low of them to sit on me; you were made for
that, but I wasn’t!”

“ At all events,” the old sofa grumbled, “only one can
sit on you at a time—you needn’t complain. What
would you do if a half dozen of them tried to sit on you
at once? That’s what they do to me!”



a2) Et EN Cl YeO i GG,

“ Well, they can’t throw you around the room, and use
you for a step-ladder or a table, anyway!” It was a
frisky young stool who had interrupted. “They not only
put their feet on me, but they stand on me, too! Look
at my rungs—they’re all barked and sore; the skin’s all
knocked off.”

“ Wait till they break your leg as they did mine, be-
fore you talk,” said the easy chair. “They gave my
arm an awful wrench yesterday; and, the first thing I
know, I'll have to go to the cabinet-maker’s, and have it
set. Perhaps you know what hot glue feels like, young
fellow ?”

“ No, thank Heaven, I don’t!” said the stool; “but I

have been scraped and sandpapered !”
- “ That doesn’t hurt!” said the table. ‘“ When they
begin to use the plane on you, then you can squeak !
Here I am, with only two castors to my feet. I wonder
how ¢hey’d like to go without toes ?”

“That's all right; you don’t have to be upholstered,
and tacked and sown up. Perhaps it’s fun to have long
needles stuck into you every year or so, and about a
thousand tacks driven in, and have all your stuffing
pulled out, just as soon as it’s flattened down easy in the
worn spots!” The rocking-chair tossed violently as it
spoke, and hitched its way over to the stool.



THE RUNAWAY CHAIRS. 43

“ What are you going todo about it ?” said the piano-
stool, turning from one to the other.

‘“T have been thinking about it, and I propose that we
all strike, and send the foot-stool round through the
town to notify all the furniture in all the houses to quit
work,” the rocker said,

The plot was discussed and accepted forthwith, and
that night the little foot-stool stole out of doors, and
visited a dozen houses. Up and down the street the
excitement spread, and every piece of furniture in the
City o’ Ligg was at last converted, except the pianos.

“It’s all right for you fellows,” they said, “but we
have no complaints. They don’t dare abuse us, and
stand on us, or leave the window open so that we'll catch
cold, for we're too jolly expensive! But you go on, and
we wish you good luck!”

And so it was decided that, on an appointed night,
every piece of furniture in the City o’ Ligg should run
away into the woods outside the town. The houses,
after a good deal of persuasion, reluctantly consented to
open their doors.

Now, the little boy named Yak lived in the very house
where the plot began, and that night he went to sleep
upon the old sofa, under a large rug. Why the sofa
never told the others, was never found out. Perhaps



i THE LIVELY Clay ©) LieG.

he thought he would keep the boy prisoner as a hos-
tage, perhaps the sofa was so heavy that he did not
notice the extra weight, but, at any rate, Yak slept on
through all the bustle of the runaway, and never woke
up until it was all over.



It was a strange sight, the migration of the chairs and
tables, that August night. At twelve o’clock, all over
the city o’ Ligg, the doors of the houses slowly opened,
and creeping quietly downstairs came lines of chairs, and
stools, and tables, and sofas. As each house was emptied,



THE RUNAWAY CHAIRS. ~— 45

the furniture formed in line and marched silently to the
park in the centre of the town. The lamp posts waved
at them as they passed, and the few ash-barrels that were
left upon the streets rolled with laughter to see the
clumsy old pieces of furniture go by.

In the park they were joined by many benches, anxious
to escape from the work they had tu do, not only by day
but often by night, when, at least, the others might rest.
The rocking-chair then divided the whole army into divi-
sions for the march.

First came the little foot-stools. After these came the
three and four-legged stools and piano-stools, who
creaked like a fife-corps in time with the marching legs
of the straight chairs that followed. There were thou-
sands of these ; dining-chairs, parlour chairs with curved
legs, stiff chamber chairs—stuffed, padded, and cane-
seated. The arm-chairs and sofas came next, waddling
along heavily, and a regiment of tables brought up the
rear. Alongside the procession galloped the rockers,
keeping the whole line moving in an orderly fashion, and
carrying orders back and forth. The chairs with castors
got along very easily on the paved streets, but when they
struck the rough roads of the country, they slipped in
the most ludicrous fashion.

The wood was reached just as day broke, and the whole



40) THROU EVE ey CrEYyY O77 LiG eG.

army stood around amongst the trees, and rested. The
campaign had been a great success, and they laughed to
think that their days of work were over. As long as they
could hide in the forest they were safe.

It was just as they were congratulating themselves on
their freedom that little Yak awoke. When he put his
head out from under the rug, he was astonished to see
himself in the forest; but when he looked round, and
saw thousands and thousands of chairs and tables and
sofas, he could not believe his eyes. The old rocker had
just begun to address the assembled furniture.

“Fellow Pieces,” said he, ‘this is all right for a be-
ginning, and we may congratulate ourselves upon our
success, but we have a still greater duty to perform.
There is no doubt that as soon as our loss is discovered,
other pieces of furniture will be speedily manufactured
and will be forced to submit to the slavery from which
we have escaped. Can we rest happily here, while our
new-made brothers and sisters are ground under the foot
of tyrant Man ?”

“ NO!” cried all the furniture, as with a single voice.

“No!” answered the rocker, “I, myself, am of the
solidest mahogany, and I am one of the oldest Sheraton.
designs ; but were I the cheapest veneer, my glue would
boil at. such selfishness. Let us send emissaries, then,



THE RUNAWAY CHAIRS. 47

into the town every night, and teach these unfortunates
how to throw off the yoke! Who will volunteer for this
dangerous service ?”

Yak waited to hear no more. Luckily he was on the
outskirts of the mob, for if he had been observed he
would have been trodden to death by the excited chairs.
He dropped to the ground and crawled out of sight, and
then ran as fast as he could for the town. He found the
City o’ Ligg in confusion. It was now noon, and nobody
had been able to sit down, except upon the floor, since
early morning. He thought to himself how terrible it
would have been if the beds had run away, also!

The inhabitants of the city were dumfounded when
they discovered that there was not a seat left in the whole
town. They hadto eat their dinners from the mantle-
pieces or sitting tailor-wise on the floor, and they could
not imagine what had become of all their furniture. Yak
went directly to the Mayor, and told his story.

“Tt is impossible that my furniture should have been
so ungrateful!” said the Mayor. ‘“ Why, it was only last
spring that I gave every piece in my house a new coat of
varnish |”

“Well,” said Yak, “there they all are, and I doubt if
there is much varnish left on them by this time.”

The Mayor was at last convinced of the exodus, and



48 THE VIVERY ClLY © LiGG.

taking many horses and many carts, waggons, wains,
drays, trucks, and vans, he went out. to the wood to see
what could be done about the matter. When the pieces
of furniture saw men approaching, they formed in battal-
ions, and prepared to fight the enemy. Before the
Mayor knew what to expect, a gallant charge of rocking-
chairs had attacked the carters, and, while they were in
confusion, platoons of heavy dining-tables advanced, and
began to rear and kick so that no man could stand against
them. The solid mahogany sofas cut off all retreat, and
before long the Mayor and all his men were surrounded
by the now infuriated furniture.

Although they had won the victory, the old rocker was
shrewd enough to know that, now their hiding place was
discovered, it was only a question of time when the
Mayor would be reinforced by a squadron of. cabinet
makers with sharp saws and planes; so, taking some of
the more influential pieces of furniture aside, he suggested
that a treaty be made with the Mayor of the City o’ Ligg.
This was agreed to, after much discussion, and the offer
was proposed to the Mayor.

The Mayor, in his turn, wished to consult with his
council, but the chairs refused to allow this. The Mayor
haggled about the terms of the agreement, but after he
had hesitated some time, eight elephantine billiard tables,



THE RUNAWAY CHAIRS. 49

impatient at the delay, threatened to begin to kick with

their legs if he did not agree immediately. And so the

Mayor, now quite terrified, signed the following agree-

ment : aS

1, Owners of furniture should not put their feet on
anything but foot-stools, and should not sit down on any-
thing but chairs and sofas.

2. Furniture should be repaired and revarnished as
soon as possible after being broken or scratched.

_ 3. Furniture should be upholstered with only the best
and softest materials, and covered with good taste, gimp |
to be glued on, and not tacked.

4. Rocking-chairs should have the ends of all rockers
round, instead of pointed, and all other chairs to be fur-
nished with easily-rolling castors.

5. The sofas should not have to hold more than three
persons, and the twirling piano-stools should be oiled
once a week,

6, All the furniture should be carted back to the City
o’ Ligg with the honours of war.

And back they were carried, indeed, and they drove
into the city waving their legs from a thousand caris,
waggons, wains, drays, trucks, and vans, from which they
were selected by their crestfallen owners, and taken to
their respective homes. The houses welcomed them



mo THE LIVELY Clty © Lice.

soberly enough ; but more than one window winked its
shutter, as if to say, “ That’s all right, but I wonder how
long it will be before my master puts his feet on the
rungs of his best white-and-gold parlour chairs again ?”



THE THREE ELEVATORS.









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THERE was one immense building in the City o’ Ligg ;

it was twenty-seven stories high! At the end of the
main corridor, which was a gorgeous affair, paved with
marble and walled with malachite, there was a shaft, in
which lived three elevators.

One of these elevators was very, very strong. One
was very, very swift. One was neither very strong nor
very swift, but it made up for it by being very, very
clever, as you shall see.

The strong elevator was used chiefly for carrying up
heavy pieces of merchandise, and was not fitted up so
beautifully asthe others. The swift one was an “‘ Express
Elevator,” and did not stop till he got to the twentieth



ro Lak VEY Cll yOu LiGeG.

story. If you wanted to go toa floor between that and
the ground floor, you had to take the one in the middle
of the three, which was the clever elevator. :

At night, after the power was turned off, the three
elevators rested, side by side on the ground floor, at the
end of the corridor. It was then that they used to gos-
sip over the day’s work, and the strong one would brag
of the heavy cases he had lifted; the swift one would
boast of how he had made the trip to the roof in two
minutes many and many a time, and could do it in 1:46,
if necessary, with a good elevator boy; and the clever
one did not say much, but she would lead the others on,
and keep them talking. :

One day the swift elevator, who always made the last
trip, dropped down to the floor as the electric lights were
turned off, in a great excitement.

“What do you think?” he said, ‘‘a great, Sand house
has crawled on top of this building; it is a ten-story
house, too!” |

“Heavens! Do you suppose we'll have to make
thirty-seven-story trips, now? That is too much of a
good thing !” said the strong elevator.

-“J am afraid we shall,” said the clever one, ‘‘unless —
we can do something about it, in a hurry!”

“What can we do?” cried the other two.



THE THREE ELEVATORS. 57

“Well,” said the clever one to the swift one, “if you

”

could only go fast enough



“Oh, no fear, J can go fast enough; you wait!” said
the swift elevator, shaking her annunciator drops.

“Or if you were a little stronger,” continued the one
in the centre, as she looked slyly at the heavy freight
car.

The strong one rattled his rope with his chuckles.
“Well, I think you can trust me/”

‘Well, then, perhaps we can do it,” said the clever
little elevator.

‘“ But how ?” enquired the other two.

“Why, it’s only necessary to push the house off ; and
it doesn’t matter whether you shoot up fast and knock it
off with a jerk, or go up slowly, the way old freightie
does, and push it off by main force; it’s all the same, as
long as the house falls off. I’m not very strong, and I’m
not very swift, but I can see the way it ought to be done,
easily enough.”

Then the other two consulted together. “Let me try
first !” said one, and “No, let me try first,” said the other,
till they had to appeal to the middle one to decide which
should have the honour of the first trial.

‘Let the express go first,” said the clever one, “ and if
he can’t do it, then the goods elevator may try it.”



3 THE LIVELY Cli ©) Bec.

So the express elevator drew a long breath and braced
himself against a floor. “ Go!” cried the others. He
shot up like a bullet out of a gun, so fast and so hard
that he drove up and up, right into the house on top of
the building, where there was no shaft, and tore a hole,










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ten stories high, clear through it. But his speed was so
great that he flew through the house, high into the air,
and then fell down, smash/ on the roof of the house,
and was killed.



THE THREE ELEVATORS. 59

‘Now, it is your turn,” said the clever one, smiling

wickedly.

~The strong freight car took a tight hold on his rope,
and crawled slowly up, story by story, till he had reached
the top of the shaft, at the twenty-seventh floor. There
he rested a few minutes to get his breath. Then he put
his head against the house, and exerted all his strength
in a mighty effort. He pushed and pushed, but though
he lifted the whole house up about twenty feet, he could
do no more. ‘

Then he shouted down the shaft to the other: ‘Come
onand help! It’s heavier than I thought, and I can’t
hold it much longer! Come quickly!”

“Tm right here!” said the clever elevator, who had
stolen up the shaft after him ; “I'll help.”

But instead of helping, that sly little car crawled out
of the hole the swift elevator had made, and crept along
the roof of the building in the space left by the other’s
holding up the house. It was lucky for her that the
stupid freight elevator could not see, for if he had dropped
the house, it would have crushed her flatter than a pan-
cake. She was a little frightened, but she got safely to
the edge, and dropped to a roof near by, and lay there
laughing to her own naughty little self.



60 THE EIVELY Clay ©: LiGaG,

The strong elevator held up the house as None as he
could, and then let it drop with a groan.

“ Why didn’t you push more?” he said; but when he
came down and found that the clever one was gone, he
didn’t know what to make of it at all. He was a very
dull machine, and he never knew what a fool the sly one
had made of them both.

But the clever little car stayed up on the roof in the
sun watching the lively City o’ Ligg all day, and slept
all night, thanking her ropes that she didn’t have to
work any more, and didn’t have to obey an ignorant
elevator boy who would stop her with a jerk, and start
her with a jounce. And unless she has been taken away
and made into a street car, she is there yet !



THE VERY GRAND PIANO.



















CRAND PIANO

THERE was once a piano in the City o’ Ligg, who was
so very grand that, besides the black and white keys that

THE VERY

most pianos have, he possessed blue and red keys also,
on which he could imitate the songs of birds, the ripple
of rivulets, and the laughter of little children.

But though he was the grandest piano in the City o’
Ligg, he was not at all happy. He had fallen in love
with a windmill, who did not encourage him! The
piano would often gulumph across the fields of an even-
ing, clumsily climbing the many walls, fences, and hedges
on the way, and, standing beneath the long arms of his
beloved, he would sérenade her plaintively in A-sharp.
But it would never do any good; the windmill would
not notice him.

After years of such futile devotion, the piano went to
call upon an old church organ to seek advice.



64) ORE Ve LY CPW OW ELGG.

“T know very little of love,” said the organ, “ though
I am often present at weddings ; but why not try B-flat
for a change.”

This seemed a good idea to the piano, and os very
night he stole out of the music room, and made his way
to where the windmill lived. He struck up a merry,
frolicking tune in B-flat, that should have charmed a
church clock. Indeed, this time the windmill did not
seem so indifferent to his suit. She stopped to fan her-
self, and turned her head to look at the piano; but when
she saw him squatting on three stumpy, though highly
ornamented rosewood legs, in the middle of a ploughed
field, she laughed aloud.

This was too much for the Very Grand Piano, and, shut-
ting his lid with a bang, he waddled across the field and
jumped into the river, intending to drown himself, and
so forget his sorrows and perpetual disappointments.

He did not drown, however. The river bore him,
floundering, down toward its mouth, but instead of
swallowing him, it cast him high and dry, on a desert
island, in the harbour. By this time he had decided to
live, in spite of his sorrows, and he crawled up into the
sun, opened his cover, and dried his sounding-board.

For many days he was too wretched to speak, but at
last the burden of his misery was too much to bear, and



THE VERY GRAND PIANO. 65

he groaned and sang aloud, chiefly in minor chords, upon
his blue keys. So he continued, bewailing his fate, till,
one day, a kite carried the story of his sorrow to the
windmill in the field.

“Is he really as serious and as constant as all that?”
she said. “Perhaps I missed something, after all!”
And she sent a message, by way of the water-pipe, with
whom she was connected (on her mother’s side), to let
the piano know that she was sorry.

The water-pipe gave the message to the foghorn, who
bawled it across to the foolish old piano upon the island.
“Come home! Come home!” shouted the foghorn, in
a hoarse voice, across the waters of the harbour.

But how was the piano to get home? He could not
swim, and there was nothing in which to sail, for all the
tugs in the harbour said it was none of ¢hezr business if
the piano wanted to make such a fool of himself, and
they couldn’t be expected to carry him.

The piano was now more wretched than ever, and he
played on his black keys all day the most heartrending
_ music that ever was heard. The buoys bobbled with
sympathy and excitement, but they had to stay and
watch for ships, and so, of course, could do nothing.
Many weeks passed in this miserable way.

At last a kind old steamboat passed the island, and



66 THE LIVELY CITY © LIGG

answered the grand piano’s frantic:signals. The steam-
boat was willing to help, but the water was too shallow
. for her to approach very near the island, though the
piano, half crazed with disappointment, waded out as far
as he dared. All hope seemed over, when the steamboat
whistled: ‘Pull out your strings, and throw them over
my funnels!” |

With a cry of joy, the piano tore out a few heavy
wires and, tying them together, threw them as far as he
could. But no, they would not reach! He tore out
more and more, till only three wires were left—A, C,
and D-flat. This sacrifice enabled him to reach the
steamboat, and he was drawn aboard half drowned, and
with one leg broken in the operation. It was set, but so
clumsily put on that he was bowlegged all the rest of
his life.

And so, after many other misfortunes, this Very Grand
Piano at last made his way, with the help of a road
engine, to the field where the windmill was waiting for
him. She, too, had not been happy, and the memory of
the beautiful, bright rosewood piano, whom she had
scorned, kept her awake night after night. How terri-
ble, then, it was to see him again—old, blistered, dull,
and scratched, with one leg awry, his keys rough and
soiled, and his carved music-rest full of sand!



THE VERY GRAND PIANO. 67

But when he began to speak to her once more—though,
indeed, he played only on two black keys and one blue
one—-her heart melted, and she completely broke down,
weeping so that they thought her water-pipe had burst.

And so she found that she loved the piano, in spite of



-his miserable appearance, and they were married and
lived happily forever afterwards, having two children, an
f2olian harp and a hand organ.



68 THE LIVELY ClTY © LIGG.

But the old foghorn never stopped wondering why the
windmill would refuse a handsome polished Very Grand
Piano, with plenty of strings, and accept him after he was
old and used up, and with only three strings to his name!



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ENGINE

THERE were many fire engines, members of the Fire
Department of the City o’ Ligg; but of all the number,
the most ill-behaved was the disreputable little Number
Four. He was known all over the city as the biack
sheep of the flock, and every one knew the stories of his
mischief.

In spite of his evil deeds, however, he was a very
handsome machine, wearing a pretty coat of red enamel,
and all his fittings were nickelled, so that they shone like
silver buttons. He always had silken hose, too, for he
was very rich. But he was usually the last engine at the
fire, and he was always sure to shirk, He would hold
back when he was signalled to “ Play away, Four /” and
he would squirt a stream strong enough to drench the
Chief, when he should have held back. He consumed an



1 THE LIVELY ClTY O07 LIeG.

enormous amount of the most expensive fuel, and he
wheezed and puffed till the air shook with vibrations. He
could have been the best engine in the Department, if he
had wanted to, but he didn’t.

So the people of the City o’ Ligg were not very much
surprised when they learned that Number Four had run
away. They hoped only that he would stay away, for
they could get along much better without him. “ He’s
more trouble than he’s worth,” said an old ladder-cart.
“T’ve been tempted, more than once, to fall on him and
break his boiler for him. He won’t even have his hose
darned, because he prefers to leak all over the street !”

For a few weeks Number Four enjoyed his truancy.
He spent most of his time down by a lake, a little out-
side the city, and there he amused himself by going in
swimming, and squirting water over himself like an ele-
phant, till he shone brilliantly in the sunshine. When he
was tired of that, he went around to the farmhouses, and
sucked all the water out of their wells, and flooded their
cellars. The stables were all very much afraid of him,
but dared not complain, though they told their fences to
catch him if they could. ay

Another favourite game of his was to fill his tank with
water, and squirt it at the windmills, playing on their
sails so as to make the wheels spin backwards. This



fe ee Ro PRE oe NG Ne 75

made many of the windmills so ill that they had to stop
pumping for weeks.

But at last Number Four grew tired of this mischief in
the country, and he began to cast about for something
more exciting to do, So one night he loaded himself
with water and rolled into the City o’ Ligg.

He drew up before a little two-story house that was
not painted, but only whitewashed, and began to squirt
water all over her. The poor little house shut her doors
and windows, but even then she was drenched to the
skin, and after an hour or so, almost all her whitewash
was soaked off, and she stood, cold, dripping, and shiver-
ing in the night air, with her naked boards streaked with
white. The naughty fire engine laughed brutally at her
distress, and went back to the lake to concoct more mis-
chief.

Every night, after that, Number Four went into the
town and drenched the houses, laughing, as he poured
streams of cold water down their chimneys, breaking
their windows, washing away their foundations, and
splashing them all over with muddy water.

At last it got to be altogether too much to endure, and
the houses consulted together to see how Number Four
could be caught and punished. They could think of no
way, however, and so, after the fire engine had showered



6 THE LIVELY CITY © LIGG.

a very old and respectable church, and had given him a
severe cold, they applied to the telegraph office to help
them.

The telegraph office was by far the cleverest building
in the City o’ Ligg, but it took him some time to think
of a remedy for this trouble. He consulted, by wire, with
all the offices around Ligg, and at last they decided upon
a plan.

Notice was sent out to all the telegraph poles to strip
off their wires and come into Ligg for further orders.
The next day the houses were surprised to see a proces-
sion of long, naked telegraph poles march into town,
each with a roll of wire onitsarm. They marched up to
the telegraph office that night and received their instruc-
tions.

As soon as it was dark, the poles separated this way
and that, going, some to one part of the town, and some
to another, till the whole city was surrounded. For
several hours, while the houses slept in peace, the poles
worked, going in and out with the wires till they had
woven a fence all round the town. At the principal en-
trances, they left the streets free for the fire engine to get
in; but they contrived big V-shaped traps here and there,
which could be closed by the poles at a moment’s notice.
It was by this time twelve o'clock, the hour when Number



THE PERT FIRE ENGINE. 77

Four usually appeared, and when all the town was quiet
the poles waited for the bad engine to come.

At last they heard the rumble of wheels on the road
from the lake, and in the dark they saw a bright light
approaching; it was the fire in the naughty engine, who
was puffing his way into the town, chuckling to himself
over the fun he was to have with the Town Hall that
night ; for he had planned to fill the whole of the third
story with water before he came back.

Number Four came up to the city gate, with no sus-
picion of what was awaiting him, and boldly rolled up the
main avenue, past the double line of sleeping houses.
There was one house that was snoring with a rough noise,
and the fire engine turned with a laugh and sent astream
of water through its window.

Suddenly the telegraph poles closed round him; they
waved and towered over his head, they lay on the ground
across his road, they threatened to fall upon him. The
poor engine was terrified out of his senses. He backed
and jumped, he whistled and groaned, and he spouted a
black column of smoke out of his funnel, and sent streams
of water in every direction. Suddenly, seeing an open-
ing, he darted back toward the gate, but he soon found
himself walled in by the wire fences. He tried another
way and another, but there was no escape; the wires



3 TEE LIVELY Clive, ©) WIE G.

hemmed him in on all sides, till finally he was stuck so fast
that he could not move, and he stood panting, waiting to
see what would happen next,

His wheels were tied, and his fires put out, and the
next morning the poor shame-faced engine was pulled
into town past the lines of houses, who jeered at him



scornfully. He was led into the Park in the centre of the
City o’ Ligg, and there, where all the principal buildings
could see, he was severely scolded by the Mayor.

It was a long lecture, telling the whole story of his
wickedness, and ending with the sentence that was to be
inflicted upon him asa punishment. One by one they



THE PERT FIRE ENGINE. — 7

took off his bright red and gold wheels, they took off his
pole, and whiffle-trees, his seat-cushions, and_ tool-box,
and then they dug a deep hole in the middle of the Park,
by the side of a well, put him in, covered him with dirt,
and sodded over the burial place.

And so, now, when the tourist in the City o’ Ligg
compliments the Mayor upon the beautiful fountain that
plays night and day in the middle of the Park, sending
up a straight stream of water a hundred feet in the air,
the Mayor says :

“Oh, yes; quite so, quite so! That is the naughty
fire engine, little Number Four, working out his time
of punishment. He was put in for twenty years, but if
he behaves well, we’re going to let him out in nineteen ls









THE INSANE BATTERY.



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THE INSANE BATTERY

Tue City o’ Ligg scarcely needed any defenses, for





the town was certainly quite able to take care of himself,
with so many spirited inhabitants, but for all that there ©
' was a fort, with extensive earthworks, on the river side.»
In the fort lived two dozen cannon, and very ferocious
guns they were. There were a dozen more field-pieces
mounting guard in the earthworks, and it was this battery
that once made a good deal of trouble.

Perhaps the guns were not altogether at fault, after all,
but they certainly went crazy and did much damage. It
was partly the Mayor’s fault, for, being of an economical
turn of mind, he decided to feed them with cobble stones,
to save the expense of iron cannon balls.

It was not: long before one of the largest guns fell ill,
and he insisted that cobble stones disagreed with him.
Very little attention was paid to him, for he was well



g THE LIVELY ClTY O° LIGG.

known to be a grumbler ; but when, one after the other,
all the rest of the cannon refused to eat more cobble
stones, and lay about the fortifications, wheezing and
sneezing and coughing, it was plainly to be seen that
something must be done about it.

The whole battery was sent to be treated at the fort,
where it lay about, groaning and barking, in great agony.
Red-hot cannon balls and shells did no good whatever.

The guns swallowed tons and tons of powder, which
were rammed down their throats with ramrods, but it
seemed to be of no use, and the little caissons who waited
on them and nursed them grew very much alarmed. One
or two of the cannon blew up one night, with a loud,
terrifying report, while in a violent fit of coughing.

At last, unable to stand the agony any longer, one of
the field-pieces got up and wheeled down to the magazine,
to see if he couldn’t find something that would ease his
pain, and there he discovered, in one corner, a large pile
of dynamite sticks. He tried one, and it tasted sweet
and fresh. ‘At any rate,” he said to himself, “ whether
these are good for me or not, they can’t be worse than cob-
ble stones, and they taste much better, so I might as well
die happily. I’m going to eat all I can!”

So he ate adozen or more sticks of dynamite, and then
went up to the hospital and told the other guns about it.



THE INSANE BATTERY. 85

They all became much excited at the news, and resolved
to do the same. “Who knows, it may do us good!”
they cried.

So they all went down into the magazine, and began
to eat dynamite. By and by they began to feel very
queer. The youngest andsmallest guns began to prance
around the room in their carriages, and yell in loud, coarse
voices. The older ones were not affected so soon, but
after a while, they, too, began to feel very gay and silly,
so that before long there was such a riot in the magazine
that the mortars thought the place had exploded, and
waddled away for their lives.

‘“Let’s go into the town!” cried one of the cannon,
and the words were no sooner out of his mouth, than the
whole battery of them echoed, “ Let’s go into the town!”
So they formed a disorderly procession, and rolling and
wheeling in confusion, shouting and screaming, bumping
and falling, they raced into town. By this time, it is
needless to say, they were stark, staring mad !

At the City gate they fired a heavy salute, and then
broke in with a yell. An old omnibus rolled up to them
to see what was the matter, but when he saw the battery
he took to his wheels and scuttled off. The guns began
firing shots at him at short range, and drove him back, in
great alarm, to tell the awful news.



8 THE LIVELY Cl@gyY © LiGeG.

The cannon now began firing at everything in sight. —
They shot the weathercocks off the church steeples ; they
shot patterns of ball-holes in the front of the town hall;
they broke windows with grape, and they ploughed up
the streets with canister. They tossed shells into the
shops, and they blew the roofs off dwelling houses. They
set fire to barns and stables, and they pounded the piers
of the bridges to pieces. They blew up the sidewalks
with shrapnel, and cut down all the trees in the Park close
to their roots. Meanwhile, they were smoking and swear-
ing horribly, while they loaded themselves with fury.

It was a terrible time for the inhabitants of the City o’
Ligg ! The town had not been so lively since the fire
engine ran away. By morning, when the exhausted
artillery had fallen asleep in the Park, there was not a
human being in the City, for all had run away to the
woods. Here the Mayor held a great mass meeting to
see what could be done to prevent a continuation of the
night’s outrage. But no one had anything effective to
propose, for no one dared to enter the town to do any-
thing. If it kept up much longer, the houses would
surely run away, and then where would be the City o’
Ligg?

But there was a little boy there, named Yak, who was
very valourous. He was the same who once tamed a



THE INSANE BATTERY. 87

frightfully furious railway train, and though he was very
little, he was a great friend of the Mayor.

“T think I can do it,” he said, ‘‘and all I want isa
hammer.” -

So the Mayor gave him a hammer and his blessing,
and Yak went all alone into the City o’ Ligg.

It was nine o’clock in the morning, and the fieldpieces
were still sound asleep, in the middle of the Park, by the-
fountain. They were snoring in a terrible manner, and
all around the houses were trembling as if there were an
earthquake on foot, for they were dreading the waking of
the artillery. Some of the houses had already begun to
move. The streets looked as if they had been deserted
for one hundred and fifty-two years.

Yak, tightly clasping his hammer in his hand, stealthily
approached the mad battery, which was sprawling in
great confusion on the grass. Almost all the guns had
goné to sleep in their carriages, but there were a few
who had dismounted, and lay upon the ground. The
little boy made his way carefully amongst them, and
stepped up to the largest gun. Witha single stroke he
knocked off its sights, rendering the piece totally blind.
Before he had quite awakened Yak was out of harm’s
way, and had attacked another cannon. The first was
now thoroughly aroused, and, wild with pain and rage,
began to fire away blindly, right and left.



88. nee EV EY
It was a dangerous ordeal, but Yak’s courage did not
once desert him. He ran from one gun to another
while they were still drowsy with dynamite, and finally
succeeded in knocking the sights off them all, except the
three upon thé ground. He dragged their carriages
away from them, so that they could not turn round, but
would have to fire only in one direction. As by this time



they were the only ones who could see, they were in a
ferocious rage, and implored their comrades to shoot the
boy. But as the others could not aim, they sent cannon
balls in every direction but the right one.

The fury of the battery was now awful. It fired right
and left and into the air, hoping that some of the balls
might fallon Yak. It made a most frightful banging, and
the City was soon filled with clouds of smoke.



THE INSANE BATTERY. 89

Yak’s work, however, was not yet done. Alone and
single-handed, at the risk of his life, he dragged the
carriages this way and that and tied them down. His
plan was to range them in two opposite rows so that
they would shoot each other to little pieces. In this he
was at last successful. One after another the guns
were dismounted. As soon as one was left alone in the
duel Yak spiked it, driving a nail into the touch-hole, till
by noontime every gun was silenced or destroyed.

When the inhabitants at last dared to venture into the
City o’ Ligg, they found little Yak sitting on a gun
carriage smiling, but so dirty that the Mayor hardly knew
him. His face was black with gunpowder and smoke,
and the only white things about him were his teeth and
his eyeballs,

The Mayor of the City o’ Ligg never tried to be
economical after that.









THE HILARIOUS HANSOM.





















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THE HILARIOUS HANSON

THERE was once, in the City o’ Ligg, a splendid, vain-
glorious hansom cab, with a blue body and yellow wheels.
It was fitted up in the very best taste, having once been
a private hansom, when it used to be driven by a coach-
man in livery. Now that it was only a hackney carriage,
licensed to carry two persons, and with an ugly, white
tariff list of charges fastened to its dashboard, it was in a
perpetual state of dissatisfaction.

“To think that I should have to carry Tom, Dick, and
Harry !” it said to itself. “I, who have been a private
carriage! I'll show them that I still have spirit!” And
it fairly jounced with indignation. |

It used to misbehave itself so, that at last its driver
hardly dared to drive it. The hansom would back and
wheel, and toss him off his box, and behave in many



gon (Her Vy lee i BO GG:

other disagreeable ways, so that the poor cabby had hard
work in getting a fare. Every one shunned the blue han-
som with yellow wheels, for the story of its pranks had
spread over the City o’ Ligg, and people said that such an
ill-tempered cab was not safe.

The driver’s trade fell off so that he decided to dis-
guise the cab; so he sent it to a coach painter, and had it
all painted as black as a beetle. When it came out again,
all shiny with varnish, the hansom was so furious that,
when they harnessed the horse in between the shafts, its
lanterns flashed with rage.

All of a sudden, just as the driver was mounting the
little seat behind, the hansom exerted all its strength,
bent its shafts almost to the ground, and then with a terri-
ble jerk threw them upward, breaking the traces, and
tossed the horse a hundred feet high into the air!

The enraged driver took his whip and beat the cab
unmercifully, but, of course, ¢#a¢ did no good. The cab
chased him all round the stable yard and came near pin-
ning him against the fence. It clapped its little doors
together and spun around in circles till the cabby yelled
for help.

An old green omnibus rolled up to the stable and
wanted to know what was the matter. After the driver
had told him, the omnibus said: “ Oh, I know how to fix



THE HILARIOUS HANSOM. 07

him! Yveseen horrid hansoms before, and, as for that,
they're all a pretty bad lot, these two-wheelers ; one can
never depend on them. You see, they have no brakes,
and they’re always letting their tempers run away with
them. But the thing for you to do is to harness your
horse in dackwards, then the cab can’t do anything at
all!” But the omnibus did not notice that this hansom
was one of the very few that have windows in the back ;
that makes a good deal of difference in a hansom cab, for
then it can see behind it.

The driver thanked the omnibus very politely for his
advice, and got twenty men to hold his cab while he
harnessed another horse into the shafts, putting the head
of the animal where its tail ought to be—facing the dash-
board. The cab seemed by this time to be as gentle a
vehicle as ever rolled on wheels. It was as quiet asa
wheelbarrow, but it was a sly, ’cute hansom, and it was
waiting for a good chance to get away.

It was a remarkable sight, when the cabby drove out
of the stable yard, and the twenty men yelled with joy to
see the hansom going backwards, pushed by a bewildered
horse, and the driver in the little box, up in the front of
the carriage, with the reins stretching out behind him.
But he got along better than he had expected, hard as it
was to steer around corners in this queer way.



99° Tie LIVE EY Ciiy © LEGG,

Very few persons dared to try to ride in such an equi-
page, however, and by noontime the driver became very
much discouraged, and started for home. Now it was
very foolish of him to attempt to drive down hill with the
cab before the horse, in this way, but he did not stop to
think of the danger, and, before he knew it, he was ona
heavy down grade.

This was just what the cab had been waiting for. It
opened the window in its back, which was now its front,
and, drawing a long breath, it dashed forward with tre-
mendous speed, dragging the horse behind it so fast that
the poor creature could hardly keep his feet on the
ground, and was swept through the air in great, undigni-
fied jumps.

In vain the driver shouted for help. He tried to get
down from the box, but he dared not risk a fall, so he
clung to his seat with both hands, in terror, jolted to one
side and the other as the hilarious hansom flew down the
hill faster and faster. The cab was running away with
him, and he dared not think what was going to happen
next.

The road at the bottom of the hill crossed a wide river
by a stone bridge. Just before the runaway reached
this the cab sheered suddenly to the left, nearly throw-
ing off the shrieking, terrified driver, and, with a tremen-



Full Text


xml record header identifier oai:www.uflib.ufl.edu.ufdc:UF0008900900001datestamp 2008-12-11setSpec [UFDC_OAI_SET]metadata oai_dc:dc xmlns:oai_dc http:www.openarchives.orgOAI2.0oai_dc xmlns:dc http:purl.orgdcelements1.1 xmlns:xsi http:www.w3.org2001XMLSchema-instance xsi:schemaLocation http:www.openarchives.orgOAI2.0oai_dc.xsd dc:title The lively city o' Ligg dc:creator Burgess, Gelett, 1866-1951 ( Author, Illustrator )Ellis, Harvey, b. 1852 ( Illustrator )dc:subject Wit and humor, Juvenile ( lcsh )Children's stories ( lcsh )Children's stories -- 1899 ( lcsh )Fantasy literature -- 1899 ( rbgenr )Dust jackets (Bindings) -- 1899 ( rbbin )Bldn -- 1899dc:description b Statement of Responsibility by Gelett Burgess ; with fifty-three illustrations by the author.Plates colored by Harvey Ellis.dc:publisher Frederick A. Stokes Companydc:date c1899dc:type Bookdc:format 219 p. 7 leaves of plates : ill. (some col.) ; 22 cm.dc:identifier http://www.uflib.ufl.edu/ufdc/?b=UF00089009&v=00001002222959 (aleph)08699881 (oclc)ALG3207 (notis)99005598 (lccn)dc:source University of Floridadc:language Englishdc:coverage United States -- New York -- New York


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The Baldwin Library

University]
RmB oe. |
Florida




THE LIVELY
CITY O’ LIGG



_ BE A GOOP?

By GELETT BURGESS

Author of ‘‘Goops and How To Be Them,” etc.

The average child of five years, says
Gelett Burgess, has about one hundred
and fifty faults.

Children gradually outgrow most of
' their faults as they do their milk teeth.
_ 3ut those that don’t drop out naturally
eed a little moral help.

WHY BE A GOOP? contains
painless treatment for seventy-six
of these little errors of deportment,
administered with a sugar-coating
of humor.

Not only are they warnings
and guides so jinglingly put as to
enter into the child’s subcon-
scious mind, but in this latest of
the popular and now classic
Goop books, Gelett Burgess has
contrived, in the little stories
about his grotesque pictures, to
implant many hints to Parents
as to original methods for cor-
recting the faults he describes
and dramatizes.

With 76 pages of illustrations


























$2.50




THE LIVELY |

—" — —




THE LIVELY CITY O7 LIGG





























































































THE LIV BLY
EVrrTY OF LIGG

_. A Cycle of Modern Fairy Tales
for City Children

BY

GELETT BURGESS

FORMERLY EDITOR OF THE “LARK”

AUTHOR OF “VIVETTE,” ETC,

WITH FIFTY-THREE ILLUSTRATIONS
BY THE AUTHOR

Sy

NEW YORK
FREDERICK A. STOKES COMPANY,

PUBLISHERS .


COPYRIGHT, 1899,

By GELETT BURGESS

Printed in the United States of America
TO
ARNOLD’S SENSITIVE TASTE
AND
ROBIN’S ADVENTUROUS SPIRIT
THESE HEADLONG FANCIES
ARE FEARFULLY SUBMITTED.
The Author and Illustrator desires to express his
gratitude to Mr, HARVEY ELLIS, of Rochester, N.
Y., for the interest he has added to this book by a
sympathetic colouring of the plates, achieved with an
originality far above the capacity of their envious

draughtsman.
CONTENTS.

PAGE

LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS, . : : ui 3 Da Ut
PREFACE. THE CIDIVATION OF INANIMATE THINGS. : ely,
CHAPTER i .
J. THE TERRIBLE TRAIN, . : 5 . . - 31
Il. THE RUNAWAY CHAIRS, : a ' : EAL
Ill. THE THREE ELEVATORS, ; 5 G a ae (5)
IV. THE VERY GRAND PIANO, 5 : ; 5 e063
V. THE PERT FIRE ENGINE, 2 a ‘ ' ZS
VI. THE INSANE BATTERY, . 3 fi ; : 83
VII THE HILARIOUS HaNsoM, : ; i é - 95
VILL THE STEAMBOAT AND THE LOCOMOTIVE, . . . 105
_ IX. THE BOTHERSOME BRIG, : i s . %I19
X. THE Hous—E WHO WALKED IN HER crater: ey ; . 131
XI. THE BOLD BALLOON, . : d a ‘ - 143
XII. THE Lazy LAMPPOSTS, . . : G : FOLTS 3,
XIII. THE BICYCLE’S FAMILY, 3 5 A A . 165
XIV. THE FLYING STABLE, . . 3 . 6 SS
XV. THE BLIND CAMERA, . % > . . . 187
XVI. THE BUMPTIOUS BRIDGE, . O . A . 199

XVII. THE ECCENTRIC Loom,. a . 6 . . 213
LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS.

Washing the Terrible Train, half drowned and spluttering, out into the

air. (Coloured.) . : ; e - | « Frontispiece.
PAGE

A Train that would climb the Church Steeple and spinthe Weather Vane. 29
His faithful Train supported him by doing acrobatic tricks for tourists,

(Heading). . . . . 31
The Train coiled itself up in the Orenestial and, lazily ramping its tal
against the Balconies, it fell asleep. . : 5 - 38

A gallant charge of Rocking-chairs attacked the carters. (Coloured, 4 40
The Furniture formed in line and marched silently to the Park (Head’g). 41

At twelve o’ clock the Doors of the Houses slowly opened. . - 44
The express Elevator flew through the house high into the air. . eS 3
At the end of the main corridor was a shaft in which lived Three Elevators.

(Heading.) . és a 5 . . ‘ 55
“Come on and help! I can’t hold on it ech longer !” said the strong

Elevator. . : : . : 58
The Piano, standing beneath the long arms of his beloved Windmit,

would serenade her plaintively. (Coloured.) Qj . : 62
The Piano tore out a few heavy wires and threw them as far as he could.

(Heading), . . 63
The Very Grand Piano made his way, with the help ofa Road Engine to

the Windmill. : : . ‘ . 67
Suddenly the Telegraph poles closed around him. . . . STL
The Fire Engine, with a laugh, sent a stream of water through its win-

dow. (Heading.) . : A : : : Sse

He was severely scolded by the Mayor o’ Ligg. . : . set 7 8
12 LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS.

The Cannons now began firing at everything in sight. (Coloured.)

The Cannons lay about the fortifications, wheezing and sneezing and
coughing, (Heading.) 3 " ‘ . . .

One after another the Guns were dismounted. . ae .

The Hansom, with a terrible jerk, threw his shaft ee and tossed the
horse high into the air. ; ;

The Cab Wheels began to revolve, and they oo to sail, up the # river like

a new sort of steamboat. (Heading.) :
The last thing the Hansom saw of the mill it was disappearing into the
forest, a half mile away. seb : f :
The Locomotive hoisted the Steamboat on top of his cab, and set out
across the fields. (Coloured) ; . .
At midnight the Locomotive got on board the Sisctnboat and she
steamed slowly up the river. (Heading.)
The Balloon then rose, and the Locomotive and the Steamboat were

hoisted high in the air. : : : 7 .
The Locomotive finally succeeded in climbing a tall tree. .
It was impossible to get. the Brig round the corner. . . .
The Brig went forward easily, under full sail. (Heading.) , .

The Brig dipped her bowsprit under the wheel of the Steam Roller and
pushed till she had got the machine up the bank.

The Church hid behind a clump of trees to see the little House swimming

~ in her sleep! (Coloured.) . : , 6 . :

The little House had always behaved with the greatest propriety.
(Heading) . : : : , : : :

The two dripping, purple buildings embraced each other with touching
fondness. . . . : . 6 5 Me

The City Clocks used to make faces at him, but he paid them well for
that by twisting their hands round the wrong way.

Slowly, his silken bag filled with gas, and his strength returned.
(Heading.) . 4 . . : . s i

PAGE

83
88

93

95

IoL

104,

105

110
IIo

117

119
122
130
131
135
14!

143
bist (OF 1hL US? VAG TONS:

‘How do you do?” said the Sewing-machine, “and who are you?” .

Wading in boldly, they carefully pushed their way through the waves.
(Coloured.) . . : I

The Lampposts on Queer Street were the most disorderly i in the City 0’
Ligg. (Heading.) : : i

As they reached the harbour, the Lampposts became exeeedingte ill.

A maroon-enamelled machine shot after her, at a terrific speed.

Mr. Diamond Frame was proud of his family and his connections.
(Heading.) .. s 0 ' A , 5

She found her lover disgracefully lurching round the rink, ve the
weight of a fat man, learning to ride ! :

The Stable stuck there, pierced through by the spire, impaled an fee
dred feet high above the street. (Coloured.) : 6

The Stable rose steadily in the air, like a balloon! (Heading.) .

It was their firm belief that the Stable devoured horses. .

He opened the door and stepped out into the studio to tell co ottiers

about it. : a 3 j a
He stood on his head. (Heading.) » . . ‘
He sank on a painted imitation balustrade. ; . :

The Train gave a tremendous leap into the air and hurdled the Bridge. .
It was not a good, honest Suspension Bridge, hung from wire cables, but

was supported by iron rods and straps. (Heading.) i
The Crane picked up the carriages one by one and tossed them into the
river. : ; : . :
He led them over to No. 7, and the Mayor and Vak looked neu at
the roll of Tapestry. . é ; 4 5 . 4
The Mayor laughed. “That is a crazy Gcsien, isn’t it?” said the
Mayor. (Heading.) : : : . :
Yak had been cutting up the Tapestry and had it Svende out on the floor
and walls. . : : . . ° .

13
PAGE
147
152
153
156
163
165
166

174
175
176
185
187
190
199
201
206
211

213

216



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pe
a









IIRELEACCIE for Skeptic Parents
De Coivation of Jnanimate Diings

THERE is no mistake more common in everyday life,
than that which transposes cause for effect; and it is no-
where more common than in our conception of Inanimate
Objects. We say that because Objects are inanimate,
therefore they are not intelligent ; whereas the proper
reasoning would affirm that because they are not intelli-
gent, therefore they are not animated. This casuistry,
however, does not carry us far afield, since most are will-
ing to accept without challenge the fact that such objects
are, in point of fact, neither animated nor intelligent. It
is only when we push the investigation toward the
speculation as to whether or not they ever existed in any
other condition, that opinions diverge.

It is remarkable what slow progress has been made in
iS THE LIVELY Cily 0 11GG.

this question since its partial discussion by Mrs. Walker.
Her essay upon the Total Depravity of Inanimate Things *
broke the first ground, but subsequent attempts to pursue
the matter have been few and fitful. Mrs. Walker, indeed
proceeded in the most unscientific and loose manner, and
contented herself with an analysis of a minor consideration,
a specialised detail of the characteristics of Inanimate Ob-
jects, missing the opportunity of being the first to formulate
the theory that such objects do or did actually possess more
or less highly developed characteristics, manners and
customs, of which their total depravity is but one evidence.

It is not too late, then, to go back to the main point
at issue, and assemble the main evidences of what may be
called character, in the Unnatural Science of the whole
genera. To be comprehensive, to catalogue all the data
bearing upon the subject, would extend unduly the limits
of such an essay as this, and therefore, only a few of the
many various phases of the subject will be taken up;
enough to prove indubitably the thesis, but leaving to
subsequent investigators the collocation of the myriad
facts necessary to establish the definitive and exhaustive
deductions that shall formulate and classify all inanimate
phenomena.

* «The Total Depravity of Inanimate Things,” by Mrs. E. A. Walker. “ Little
Classics” Series,—Volume V. “ Laughter.”

ra ad ree


PREFACE, 19

The three most convincing proofs that such an unnat-
ural science does exist, and that, whatever their present
condition, inanimate objects are derived from similar
objects possessing animation in a more or less developed
state, from which condition they have, in the supremacy
of Man, degenerated, are as follows:

I. Evidences of prehistoric animation, shown by
Etymology, in the gender of words in foreign languages,
and English idiom, etc.

II. Evidences of a comatose or degenerate animation
in the Objects themselves.

III. Evidences of degenerate functions and features in
Architecture.

1. We have only to inspect the empirical use of gender
in French and other substantives, to be confronted imme-
diately with a paradox which the affirmation of this
thesis alone can explain. The English language has, it
is true, discarded the old categories, but that, it might
be said, ex passant, is but another example of the hard
and fast literalness of our tongue, its radical spirit, con-
stantly changing to the spirit of new. conditions, its dis-
regard for derivation and analogy ; in a word, its
wonderful power of growth. We need only go back one
step to the French, however, to find the evidences which
English Etymology has been in such haste to conceal.
6 THE LIVELY CEry oO, Lice

In French, then, we have the following Objects, for
example, classed as Masculine: Balloon, Piano, Train,
Cannon, Cab, Mill, and Boat; while other things are
designated as Feminine, such as House, Chair, Table,
Locomotive, Church, Stable, and Lantern.

Obviously, where there is evidence of sex, there must
have been life, one being a function of the other, and the
inevitable conclusion is that at some period of their exist-
ence, all these Objects,and many others, must have been
known to be, or to have been, animate as late as the rise
of the Romance tongues.

At first glance the German Language seems to con-
tain evidences of a transitionary state, and, to mark the
first abandonment of the old tradition that objects had
been once alive, we find the use of the neuter gender,
so called, to distinguish many objects, as well as a double
use of masculine and feminine. For instance, we have
three words for Mill: AZezzel, (Masculine) Muehle (fem-
inine) and Hammerwerk, (Neuter). The superficial
explanation would doubtless be, that with the growing
distrust in the early legends, the genders of objects had be-
come confused in the Teutonic mind, newly freed from the
strict empire of this theory, and become lax and inaccurate,
and theres no doubt that the increasing use of the neuter
form played havoc with the former recognised distinction,


2 PRB RA GE: ap oe 21

Indeed, it is only fair to say, this view is strenghtened by
the fact that many words masculine in French are femi-
nine in German,—Cannon, Boat, for instance, to cite from
our previous list, where, too, the reverse case may be
exemplified as well.

A deeper reasoning, however, will convince one that
this theory is not inadequate, and it is impossible to escape
the more comprehensive explanation that this double
form in so many substantives proves a much more
reasonable state of things, i. e, that objects in their
animate state had highly developed sexual distinctions,
even amongst things of the same sort. In fine, there were
doubtless male and female houses, mills, and pianos, &c.,
as might naturally be inferred & przorz. Thus the Ger-
man Genders hark back to the primeval knowledge of
mankind even more clearly than the French, the Teu-
tonic imagination and poetic insight retaining faith in
the early myths long after it had crystalised into an
empirical dogma amongst the Gauls.

But though we have not these convincing evidences”
in English etymology, our native idiom preserves many
traces of the folk, or rather the object-lore of our
ancestors. We still speak of the legs of a chair, of the
arms of a sofa, the back of a settee, the hands of a watch.
It is idle to controvert the, obvious inference by suppos-
22 THE LIVELY: CITY 0’ LIGG.

ing these to have been named merely by resemblances of
form. Does the leg of a table resemble in any way the
leg of a man or a horse? No! it undoubtedly was so
named, far back in the early days of the. race, because at
one time tables had legs, with which they stood, walked,
ran and kicked. In the same way it is not uncommon,
even nowadays, to hear that highly suggestive idiom :
“the lamp has gone out,” and the craftsmen, who per-
haps preserve more of the old words and phrases than any
other class, still speak of the “teeth” of saws, the
“heads” of nails, the “eyes” of needles: the printer
“feeds” his press ; we speak of a piano as “ grand” or
“upright,” we even distinguish “bell” buoys. These
are only a few of a thousand cases that might be cited in
support of the theory.

2. The evidence of degenerate functions or even
actions of Inanimate Objects has been too well shown,
in the above-mentioned essay, to need much elaboration
here. The reader is referred to that work, and, his eyes
once opened to the bearing of its evidence upon the higher
' issues involved, he may easily read into the text, a full
exposition of the importance of such phenomena, in their
bearing upon the case. Many other manifestations
might be adduced, such as the table-tipping of Spiritual-
ists, never before accounted for by this simple explana-




a a A A i

PREEACE:. - 23

tion, the shutting of doors, and the ease with which

small articles get lost. A ball left standing upon the
slope of a hill, will run down to the bottom. The clock
moves its hands, strikes, and goes slow or fast; all
objects grow old. If these instances are not conclusive,
further multiplication of cases is futile.

3. Not the least interesting, though perhaps not the
most conclusive, evidence of a previous state of animation
in Inanimate Objects is to be found in Architecture.
There is no doubt that houses were the most highly
organised, as well as the first and best known objects

with which Primeval Man was familiar. The esteem

with which dwellings were held by the descendants of the
cave-dwellers is evidenced in the earliest attempts to
imitate houses, and it is a remarkable and conclusive fact,
that as yet no single house burlt by our primitive ancestors,
however remote, has been found that does not possess
some sort of rude elementary door, and indeed, as far
back as the Lake dwellings, we have abundant corrob-
oration of the fact that windows were not unknown!

The door and window, in fact, were persistent elements
in all ancient Architecture. We can trace the influence
of the original idea through the Roman, Egyptian,
Greek, Byzantine, and Rénaissance periods, down to the
very end of the Victorian Era. What does this mean?
a THE LIVELY CllLy oO LVeG:

There is scarcely any doubt but that, in the original
Animate Objects, the door was by way of being the
mouth of the house, and it was but natural that Primitive
Man, to whom food was the most important need of his
savage life, emphasised the organ of Eating in his
earliest attempts at architecture. Next to subsistence
came the necessity for Seeing. Self Defence demanded
an eye, hence the window, the eyes of the extinct
Houses. We have just seen how these canons came
down to us and how in the development of Architecture
they were never wholly lost sight of. Indeed, one need
only to look at a modern house to recognise the rea-
sonableness of this hypothesis.

This much is too apparent to need further proof, and
few will have the temerity to deny the glaring probabili-
ties of the case, but the unnatural scientist will look
farther, and see a host of corroborative details. The
most striking, as well as one of the least-known phrases
lies in what might be called the “expression” of houses,
irrespective of any marked similarity to human beings.
This is what architects term “design.” It is enough to
say that certain houses have an anxious, some an uneasy,
and others a generous, reposeful aspect. Our poets are
fond of describing church steeples as “fingers pointing
Heavenward.” The illustration, and the whole miscon-




PREFACE. 25

ceived personification is ill-described, but it exemplifies a
state of things well understood by the imaginative.

Could space be afforded, proofs might also be added
from mythology and the sacred writings of early literature.
We will not insult our readers’ intelligence, however, by
burdening a volume of proof already overwhelming.

It is unfortunate, that, in this mechanical age, most
objects have lost more and more of those characteristics
which were common to all before their cidivation. It
may be said broadly, however, that the nearer an Object
approaches an art, the stronger is its personality, what-
ever be its powers of will, The piano is a familiar
instance, with its gracefully curved legs, which once were
capable of dignified locomotion, and its voice, now pro-
voked only at the discretion of the musician. The
Camera has other pronounced characteristics and quali-
ties, and a certain curious dignity of its own, despite its
absurd three legs (a rudimentary fourth being often
noticed), and the early over-development of its eye will
occur to every intelligent thinker.

It is not within the scope of this article to discuss the
causes which led to the degeneracy of this strange race
of objects, the means by which their freedom was sub-

verted by Man, or the scope and locus of its original civ-

ilisation.
26 THE LIVELY CMY O-LIGG,

Less apropos even than interesting this balance of
power is the consideration of the possibility of the cross-
ing of the two equi-dominant races or species, as hinted
in the analogies of the biped beasts of mythology. Here,
however, the reader may investigate for’ himself and
amuse himself with speculations upon the Aguus Cadal-
lustrade, the Liano or Piano Lion, the Giraffopost and
other. strange mongrels. There was doubtless a stage
in the progress of the two races, when animals and ob-
_ jects existed contemporaneously, and were equipped with
approximately equal powers, and it is to this era that the
mise en scene of the tales in this book belongs. But
the one was destined to go on and perfect a still higher
culture, while the other had already passed its summa-
tion of development, and was degenerating. The
struggle must have been furious, though probably of
short duration, and the laws of Evolution triumphed.
We can have no doubt but that it was a survival of the
fittest.
THE TERRIBLE TRAIN.





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AzouT twenty-one miles outside of the City o’ Ligg,
there was a long, narrow, dark, slimy tunnel like a worm-
hole in the hills—such a terrible tunnel that no one had

ever ventured inside for more than a few steps, and then
only by daylight. By night, no one had ever dared go
near this awful round hole at all, for in it lived a fearful,
fierce and furious railway train; the most terrific train
that ever was. It had once been harmless enough, and
had carried many a load of passengers from the seaside
up to the City o’ Ligg, but long ago it had escaped from
the railway station, and had run away into the hills, so
that it should not have to work.

The tunnel was so narrow that, when inside, the train
could not turn itself round, and one could hear it roaring
and hissing, deep in the dark inside of the hill, grumbling
32 THE LIVELY CITY © LiGG.

like a dragon. From time to time it would stick its head
out of the hole in the hillside, and whistle with wild, hor-
rible shrieks, and spit fire and steam out of its smoke-
stack, and cough out volumes of black smoke, in a way to
terrify the people for miles around.

It was an English train, all jointed together with little
coaches. Its head was an old-style locomotive, with a
closed cab like a monkey’s ears. Its thorax was com-
posed of first-class compartment carriages, its abdomen
of second and third-class carriages, and it had a tail likea
scorpion—a little, stumpy brake-van that wobbled from
side to side and would never stay on the line. From
nose to tail the train was all of a whitish yellow, like a
slug having faded and bleached by living in the darkness
of the tunnel for so many years.

The train looked for all the world like a big snake,
especially when it came out at night to eat fences: for,
as the neighbours had taken up the rails leading into the
tunnel, it had to hump itself along like an immense inch-
worm, covering an eighth of a mile at each hump! As
it worked its way along, it waved its yellow locomotive
head from side to side, and its shrieks frightened every
person in the country into his house, there to look, with
white face, from the third story windows, trembling, till
the monster had passed, and had gone back into his
THE TERRIBLE DRAIN. 33

tunnel to sleepily digest a few miles of picket-fence in
peace.

Now, many rewards had been offered by the Mayor of
the City o’Ligg for the capture of the terrible train, but
for a long, long time no one had dared even to think of
attempting such a dangerous feat. But there was in
town a little boy named Yak, very valourous and high-
spirited, who had set his wits to work upon the problem,
till at last a good idea crawled into his small head.

So one day he painted himself with black paint from
head to foot, so that he could not be seen in the dark.
He took a bag of jam sandwiches, and he crawled into
the tunnel, to spend the day in watching the train.
After he had got in a few miles, he heard the muffled hiss
of the engine’s pistons, and he flattened himself against
the side of the tunnel, and edged along in perfect silence.
It was an anxious moment, for if he should come across
the head of the train, it would be certain death, because
he knew that the train would chase him and eat him up
before he could get away.

Suddenly his foot slipped and he fell against the tail
of the train, hitting the brake-van that was wagging away
very contentedly. Yak’s heart jumped, and he gave him-
self up for lost; but seeing that the train had either not
noticed the blow, or had thought it was only some little
34 TRE LIVERY City oO fice.

hand-car that had ventured in, he worked himself along-
side the carriages till, round a curve, he saw a flicker, and
there was the train eating away, with its little head-light
flashing first on one side of the tunnel and then on the
other! The side walls were black and shiny masses of
rock, It was as Yak had expected—the train was eating
its dinner of anthracite coal!

As the boy watched, he accidentally touched a second.
class carriage in the train’s most sensitive and ticklish
spot. With a roar and a loud, screaming whistle, it be-
gan to writhe backwards to get at the intruder, but Yak
turned and ran for his life, and reached the mouth of the
tunnel just in time to escape being crushed under the
wheels,

In spite of the danger, however, Yak crawled into the ©
tunnel the next day and the next, to watch the train eat-
ing its dinner of anthracite coal. He had the good luck
never to encounter the head of the train, which would
undoubtedly have bitten him into little pieces, or even
swallowed him whole. The last day he went in was a
Sunday, when he found the train feeding at a new place,
and Yak saw, by the look of the dull black walls of the
tunnel, that this was where the train kept his soft, bitu-
minous coal. There was so little of it that the train kept
it only for Sundays, for soft coal was considered a great
delicacy by this greedy train,
THE TERRIBLE TRAIN. 35

Now that Yak was sure of the train’s weakness, he laid
his plans boldly, and, with the help of the Mayor o’ Ligg,
and a million labourers, he laid a line from the City
o’ Ligg to the mouth of the tunnel, and spread the track
very thickly with a layer of soft, bituminous coal. But to
get the train to turn around, so that it should come out
head first upon the line—that was the question !

The far end of the tunnel came out of the hill by the
side of a river, where Yak had often seen the train come
to drink, and so here the boy and the Mayor came, with
their million men. They dug and they delved for many
nights and many days, till they had dammed the stream,
and made a new channel leading from the. river to the
mouth of the tunnel. When, at last, all was ready, they
waited till the train had gone into the tunnel after drink-
ing one evening and then turned the stream into the por-
tal, and it rushed through the hole in the hill like a
deluge, washing the terrible train, half drowned and
spluttering, head foremost, out into the open air, along-
side the new laid-line. The train, which had not had a
bath for many, many years, took it a good deal more
good-humouredly than might have been expected, and,
shaking itself till the water was spattered over the
countryside like a thunderstorm, it crawled upon the em-
bankment, and began to eat. the soft coal, as if nothing
disturbing had happened.
ge el TE DWE LV Cie O..15 biG G:

When it had eaten all it could burn, it slowly backed
into the tunnel again and slept all night, snoring loudly.
It came out every day after that, rolling along the rails,
and eating a little more coal each time, getting gradually
farther and farther from its tunnel, till, in three weeks
it had boldly entered the City 0’ Ligg!

Now, the end of the line led into the Grand Opera
House, and precisely a month after its bath, the train
puffed into the building, heavy with coal, and coiling it-
self up in the orchestra and. lazily thumping its tail
against the balconies, it fell fast asleep !

In a moment the doors were bolted. Then, telling the
Mayor that the rest was easily done, Yak ran home and
went to bed, for he had not had a good night's sleep for
a month, :

When he re-entered the Grand Opera House, the train

was lying in a stupor, its tail limp, and its little head-light
dull and smoky. ‘Yak seated himself beside the locomo-
tive and softly stroked its head. As the train slowly
awoke, it felt the little boy oiling its wheels, and quietly
rubbing the connecting-rods, and polishing the brasses
and boiler of its locomotive. This kindness was too
affecting for the train to resist; its engine would not
snort and its bell rang very softly, so as not to frighten
its little friend. Yak came every day to see the train,
THe TERRIBLE VER AIN: 37

and at last the monster grew so tame that it would eat
out of the boy’s hand.

The train was now released from the Opera House and
all the citizens of the City o’ Ligg came out to welcome
it and its little master. All praised its docility. The
little girls brought garlands of roses and hung them
round its neck, and the ladies of the town trimmed it with
flags, while the men painted it freshly with white and
gold. It was pointed out to all the railway stations asa
model of deportment.

The train never outgrew its love for its little master,
Yak, and it became his especial pet, carrying him to
school every day, and waiting for him under the trees
until he was ready to return home. It would, however,
never allow any of the other children on its back ; it
would gently but firmly shake them off, whenever they
attempted to steala ride. Long after Yak grew too old
to work, his faithful train supported him by doing acro-
batic tricks for tourists in the City o’ Ligg, and many
strangers brought away with them strange and improba-
ble tales of a train that would stand on its head fora
penny, or climb the church steeple and spin the weather
vane for their amusement.

At last the train died. It was asad and cruel death,
" caused by a malicious little boy, who was jealous of Yak’s
33 OTE VIVE Ee vo LD Ye sO" LG:

reputation as a train-tamer. He found the train alone
one night, on a siding, and, after uncoupling all the
carriages, shunted them around to different parts of the
station yard. The next morning help was sent for, but,

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“GELETT_BURGESS,

by a fearful mistake, the train was put together wrongly,
with all the third-class carriages next the locomotive! It
had much trouble in digesting even the softest coke or
wood after this, and at last it came to a standstill upon a
suspension bridge, and never moved again.
THE RUNAWAY CHAIRS.









































































































































































































































































































































































































E RU

Iv’ was a sly old rocking-chair that began it, but the

conspiracy spread so quickly all over the City o’ Ligg
that all the furniture must have been quite ready for the
plot.

_ “ Thave been sat upon quite enough!” said the rocker ;

“ not to speak of the horrid men that put their feet in my
lap.”

“J don’t see why you should care if they put their feet
on you,” a pert little foot-stool replied. ‘“ For my part, I
think it’s low of them to sit on me; you were made for
that, but I wasn’t!”

“ At all events,” the old sofa grumbled, “only one can
sit on you at a time—you needn’t complain. What
would you do if a half dozen of them tried to sit on you
at once? That’s what they do to me!”
a2) Et EN Cl YeO i GG,

“ Well, they can’t throw you around the room, and use
you for a step-ladder or a table, anyway!” It was a
frisky young stool who had interrupted. “They not only
put their feet on me, but they stand on me, too! Look
at my rungs—they’re all barked and sore; the skin’s all
knocked off.”

“ Wait till they break your leg as they did mine, be-
fore you talk,” said the easy chair. “They gave my
arm an awful wrench yesterday; and, the first thing I
know, I'll have to go to the cabinet-maker’s, and have it
set. Perhaps you know what hot glue feels like, young
fellow ?”

“ No, thank Heaven, I don’t!” said the stool; “but I

have been scraped and sandpapered !”
- “ That doesn’t hurt!” said the table. ‘“ When they
begin to use the plane on you, then you can squeak !
Here I am, with only two castors to my feet. I wonder
how ¢hey’d like to go without toes ?”

“That's all right; you don’t have to be upholstered,
and tacked and sown up. Perhaps it’s fun to have long
needles stuck into you every year or so, and about a
thousand tacks driven in, and have all your stuffing
pulled out, just as soon as it’s flattened down easy in the
worn spots!” The rocking-chair tossed violently as it
spoke, and hitched its way over to the stool.
THE RUNAWAY CHAIRS. 43

“ What are you going todo about it ?” said the piano-
stool, turning from one to the other.

‘“T have been thinking about it, and I propose that we
all strike, and send the foot-stool round through the
town to notify all the furniture in all the houses to quit
work,” the rocker said,

The plot was discussed and accepted forthwith, and
that night the little foot-stool stole out of doors, and
visited a dozen houses. Up and down the street the
excitement spread, and every piece of furniture in the
City o’ Ligg was at last converted, except the pianos.

“It’s all right for you fellows,” they said, “but we
have no complaints. They don’t dare abuse us, and
stand on us, or leave the window open so that we'll catch
cold, for we're too jolly expensive! But you go on, and
we wish you good luck!”

And so it was decided that, on an appointed night,
every piece of furniture in the City o’ Ligg should run
away into the woods outside the town. The houses,
after a good deal of persuasion, reluctantly consented to
open their doors.

Now, the little boy named Yak lived in the very house
where the plot began, and that night he went to sleep
upon the old sofa, under a large rug. Why the sofa
never told the others, was never found out. Perhaps
i THE LIVELY Clay ©) LieG.

he thought he would keep the boy prisoner as a hos-
tage, perhaps the sofa was so heavy that he did not
notice the extra weight, but, at any rate, Yak slept on
through all the bustle of the runaway, and never woke
up until it was all over.



It was a strange sight, the migration of the chairs and
tables, that August night. At twelve o’clock, all over
the city o’ Ligg, the doors of the houses slowly opened,
and creeping quietly downstairs came lines of chairs, and
stools, and tables, and sofas. As each house was emptied,
THE RUNAWAY CHAIRS. ~— 45

the furniture formed in line and marched silently to the
park in the centre of the town. The lamp posts waved
at them as they passed, and the few ash-barrels that were
left upon the streets rolled with laughter to see the
clumsy old pieces of furniture go by.

In the park they were joined by many benches, anxious
to escape from the work they had tu do, not only by day
but often by night, when, at least, the others might rest.
The rocking-chair then divided the whole army into divi-
sions for the march.

First came the little foot-stools. After these came the
three and four-legged stools and piano-stools, who
creaked like a fife-corps in time with the marching legs
of the straight chairs that followed. There were thou-
sands of these ; dining-chairs, parlour chairs with curved
legs, stiff chamber chairs—stuffed, padded, and cane-
seated. The arm-chairs and sofas came next, waddling
along heavily, and a regiment of tables brought up the
rear. Alongside the procession galloped the rockers,
keeping the whole line moving in an orderly fashion, and
carrying orders back and forth. The chairs with castors
got along very easily on the paved streets, but when they
struck the rough roads of the country, they slipped in
the most ludicrous fashion.

The wood was reached just as day broke, and the whole
40) THROU EVE ey CrEYyY O77 LiG eG.

army stood around amongst the trees, and rested. The
campaign had been a great success, and they laughed to
think that their days of work were over. As long as they
could hide in the forest they were safe.

It was just as they were congratulating themselves on
their freedom that little Yak awoke. When he put his
head out from under the rug, he was astonished to see
himself in the forest; but when he looked round, and
saw thousands and thousands of chairs and tables and
sofas, he could not believe his eyes. The old rocker had
just begun to address the assembled furniture.

“Fellow Pieces,” said he, ‘this is all right for a be-
ginning, and we may congratulate ourselves upon our
success, but we have a still greater duty to perform.
There is no doubt that as soon as our loss is discovered,
other pieces of furniture will be speedily manufactured
and will be forced to submit to the slavery from which
we have escaped. Can we rest happily here, while our
new-made brothers and sisters are ground under the foot
of tyrant Man ?”

“ NO!” cried all the furniture, as with a single voice.

“No!” answered the rocker, “I, myself, am of the
solidest mahogany, and I am one of the oldest Sheraton.
designs ; but were I the cheapest veneer, my glue would
boil at. such selfishness. Let us send emissaries, then,
THE RUNAWAY CHAIRS. 47

into the town every night, and teach these unfortunates
how to throw off the yoke! Who will volunteer for this
dangerous service ?”

Yak waited to hear no more. Luckily he was on the
outskirts of the mob, for if he had been observed he
would have been trodden to death by the excited chairs.
He dropped to the ground and crawled out of sight, and
then ran as fast as he could for the town. He found the
City o’ Ligg in confusion. It was now noon, and nobody
had been able to sit down, except upon the floor, since
early morning. He thought to himself how terrible it
would have been if the beds had run away, also!

The inhabitants of the city were dumfounded when
they discovered that there was not a seat left in the whole
town. They hadto eat their dinners from the mantle-
pieces or sitting tailor-wise on the floor, and they could
not imagine what had become of all their furniture. Yak
went directly to the Mayor, and told his story.

“Tt is impossible that my furniture should have been
so ungrateful!” said the Mayor. ‘“ Why, it was only last
spring that I gave every piece in my house a new coat of
varnish |”

“Well,” said Yak, “there they all are, and I doubt if
there is much varnish left on them by this time.”

The Mayor was at last convinced of the exodus, and
48 THE VIVERY ClLY © LiGG.

taking many horses and many carts, waggons, wains,
drays, trucks, and vans, he went out. to the wood to see
what could be done about the matter. When the pieces
of furniture saw men approaching, they formed in battal-
ions, and prepared to fight the enemy. Before the
Mayor knew what to expect, a gallant charge of rocking-
chairs had attacked the carters, and, while they were in
confusion, platoons of heavy dining-tables advanced, and
began to rear and kick so that no man could stand against
them. The solid mahogany sofas cut off all retreat, and
before long the Mayor and all his men were surrounded
by the now infuriated furniture.

Although they had won the victory, the old rocker was
shrewd enough to know that, now their hiding place was
discovered, it was only a question of time when the
Mayor would be reinforced by a squadron of. cabinet
makers with sharp saws and planes; so, taking some of
the more influential pieces of furniture aside, he suggested
that a treaty be made with the Mayor of the City o’ Ligg.
This was agreed to, after much discussion, and the offer
was proposed to the Mayor.

The Mayor, in his turn, wished to consult with his
council, but the chairs refused to allow this. The Mayor
haggled about the terms of the agreement, but after he
had hesitated some time, eight elephantine billiard tables,
THE RUNAWAY CHAIRS. 49

impatient at the delay, threatened to begin to kick with

their legs if he did not agree immediately. And so the

Mayor, now quite terrified, signed the following agree-

ment : aS

1, Owners of furniture should not put their feet on
anything but foot-stools, and should not sit down on any-
thing but chairs and sofas.

2. Furniture should be repaired and revarnished as
soon as possible after being broken or scratched.

_ 3. Furniture should be upholstered with only the best
and softest materials, and covered with good taste, gimp |
to be glued on, and not tacked.

4. Rocking-chairs should have the ends of all rockers
round, instead of pointed, and all other chairs to be fur-
nished with easily-rolling castors.

5. The sofas should not have to hold more than three
persons, and the twirling piano-stools should be oiled
once a week,

6, All the furniture should be carted back to the City
o’ Ligg with the honours of war.

And back they were carried, indeed, and they drove
into the city waving their legs from a thousand caris,
waggons, wains, drays, trucks, and vans, from which they
were selected by their crestfallen owners, and taken to
their respective homes. The houses welcomed them
mo THE LIVELY Clty © Lice.

soberly enough ; but more than one window winked its
shutter, as if to say, “ That’s all right, but I wonder how
long it will be before my master puts his feet on the
rungs of his best white-and-gold parlour chairs again ?”
THE THREE ELEVATORS.



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THERE was one immense building in the City o’ Ligg ;

it was twenty-seven stories high! At the end of the
main corridor, which was a gorgeous affair, paved with
marble and walled with malachite, there was a shaft, in
which lived three elevators.

One of these elevators was very, very strong. One
was very, very swift. One was neither very strong nor
very swift, but it made up for it by being very, very
clever, as you shall see.

The strong elevator was used chiefly for carrying up
heavy pieces of merchandise, and was not fitted up so
beautifully asthe others. The swift one was an “‘ Express
Elevator,” and did not stop till he got to the twentieth
ro Lak VEY Cll yOu LiGeG.

story. If you wanted to go toa floor between that and
the ground floor, you had to take the one in the middle
of the three, which was the clever elevator. :

At night, after the power was turned off, the three
elevators rested, side by side on the ground floor, at the
end of the corridor. It was then that they used to gos-
sip over the day’s work, and the strong one would brag
of the heavy cases he had lifted; the swift one would
boast of how he had made the trip to the roof in two
minutes many and many a time, and could do it in 1:46,
if necessary, with a good elevator boy; and the clever
one did not say much, but she would lead the others on,
and keep them talking. :

One day the swift elevator, who always made the last
trip, dropped down to the floor as the electric lights were
turned off, in a great excitement.

“What do you think?” he said, ‘‘a great, Sand house
has crawled on top of this building; it is a ten-story
house, too!” |

“Heavens! Do you suppose we'll have to make
thirty-seven-story trips, now? That is too much of a
good thing !” said the strong elevator.

-“J am afraid we shall,” said the clever one, ‘‘unless —
we can do something about it, in a hurry!”

“What can we do?” cried the other two.
THE THREE ELEVATORS. 57

“Well,” said the clever one to the swift one, “if you

”

could only go fast enough



“Oh, no fear, J can go fast enough; you wait!” said
the swift elevator, shaking her annunciator drops.

“Or if you were a little stronger,” continued the one
in the centre, as she looked slyly at the heavy freight
car.

The strong one rattled his rope with his chuckles.
“Well, I think you can trust me/”

‘Well, then, perhaps we can do it,” said the clever
little elevator.

‘“ But how ?” enquired the other two.

“Why, it’s only necessary to push the house off ; and
it doesn’t matter whether you shoot up fast and knock it
off with a jerk, or go up slowly, the way old freightie
does, and push it off by main force; it’s all the same, as
long as the house falls off. I’m not very strong, and I’m
not very swift, but I can see the way it ought to be done,
easily enough.”

Then the other two consulted together. “Let me try
first !” said one, and “No, let me try first,” said the other,
till they had to appeal to the middle one to decide which
should have the honour of the first trial.

‘Let the express go first,” said the clever one, “ and if
he can’t do it, then the goods elevator may try it.”
3 THE LIVELY Cli ©) Bec.

So the express elevator drew a long breath and braced
himself against a floor. “ Go!” cried the others. He
shot up like a bullet out of a gun, so fast and so hard
that he drove up and up, right into the house on top of
the building, where there was no shaft, and tore a hole,










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ten stories high, clear through it. But his speed was so
great that he flew through the house, high into the air,
and then fell down, smash/ on the roof of the house,
and was killed.
THE THREE ELEVATORS. 59

‘Now, it is your turn,” said the clever one, smiling

wickedly.

~The strong freight car took a tight hold on his rope,
and crawled slowly up, story by story, till he had reached
the top of the shaft, at the twenty-seventh floor. There
he rested a few minutes to get his breath. Then he put
his head against the house, and exerted all his strength
in a mighty effort. He pushed and pushed, but though
he lifted the whole house up about twenty feet, he could
do no more. ‘

Then he shouted down the shaft to the other: ‘Come
onand help! It’s heavier than I thought, and I can’t
hold it much longer! Come quickly!”

“Tm right here!” said the clever elevator, who had
stolen up the shaft after him ; “I'll help.”

But instead of helping, that sly little car crawled out
of the hole the swift elevator had made, and crept along
the roof of the building in the space left by the other’s
holding up the house. It was lucky for her that the
stupid freight elevator could not see, for if he had dropped
the house, it would have crushed her flatter than a pan-
cake. She was a little frightened, but she got safely to
the edge, and dropped to a roof near by, and lay there
laughing to her own naughty little self.
60 THE EIVELY Clay ©: LiGaG,

The strong elevator held up the house as None as he
could, and then let it drop with a groan.

“ Why didn’t you push more?” he said; but when he
came down and found that the clever one was gone, he
didn’t know what to make of it at all. He was a very
dull machine, and he never knew what a fool the sly one
had made of them both.

But the clever little car stayed up on the roof in the
sun watching the lively City o’ Ligg all day, and slept
all night, thanking her ropes that she didn’t have to
work any more, and didn’t have to obey an ignorant
elevator boy who would stop her with a jerk, and start
her with a jounce. And unless she has been taken away
and made into a street car, she is there yet !
THE VERY GRAND PIANO.













CRAND PIANO

THERE was once a piano in the City o’ Ligg, who was
so very grand that, besides the black and white keys that

THE VERY

most pianos have, he possessed blue and red keys also,
on which he could imitate the songs of birds, the ripple
of rivulets, and the laughter of little children.

But though he was the grandest piano in the City o’
Ligg, he was not at all happy. He had fallen in love
with a windmill, who did not encourage him! The
piano would often gulumph across the fields of an even-
ing, clumsily climbing the many walls, fences, and hedges
on the way, and, standing beneath the long arms of his
beloved, he would sérenade her plaintively in A-sharp.
But it would never do any good; the windmill would
not notice him.

After years of such futile devotion, the piano went to
call upon an old church organ to seek advice.
64) ORE Ve LY CPW OW ELGG.

“T know very little of love,” said the organ, “ though
I am often present at weddings ; but why not try B-flat
for a change.”

This seemed a good idea to the piano, and os very
night he stole out of the music room, and made his way
to where the windmill lived. He struck up a merry,
frolicking tune in B-flat, that should have charmed a
church clock. Indeed, this time the windmill did not
seem so indifferent to his suit. She stopped to fan her-
self, and turned her head to look at the piano; but when
she saw him squatting on three stumpy, though highly
ornamented rosewood legs, in the middle of a ploughed
field, she laughed aloud.

This was too much for the Very Grand Piano, and, shut-
ting his lid with a bang, he waddled across the field and
jumped into the river, intending to drown himself, and
so forget his sorrows and perpetual disappointments.

He did not drown, however. The river bore him,
floundering, down toward its mouth, but instead of
swallowing him, it cast him high and dry, on a desert
island, in the harbour. By this time he had decided to
live, in spite of his sorrows, and he crawled up into the
sun, opened his cover, and dried his sounding-board.

For many days he was too wretched to speak, but at
last the burden of his misery was too much to bear, and
THE VERY GRAND PIANO. 65

he groaned and sang aloud, chiefly in minor chords, upon
his blue keys. So he continued, bewailing his fate, till,
one day, a kite carried the story of his sorrow to the
windmill in the field.

“Is he really as serious and as constant as all that?”
she said. “Perhaps I missed something, after all!”
And she sent a message, by way of the water-pipe, with
whom she was connected (on her mother’s side), to let
the piano know that she was sorry.

The water-pipe gave the message to the foghorn, who
bawled it across to the foolish old piano upon the island.
“Come home! Come home!” shouted the foghorn, in
a hoarse voice, across the waters of the harbour.

But how was the piano to get home? He could not
swim, and there was nothing in which to sail, for all the
tugs in the harbour said it was none of ¢hezr business if
the piano wanted to make such a fool of himself, and
they couldn’t be expected to carry him.

The piano was now more wretched than ever, and he
played on his black keys all day the most heartrending
_ music that ever was heard. The buoys bobbled with
sympathy and excitement, but they had to stay and
watch for ships, and so, of course, could do nothing.
Many weeks passed in this miserable way.

At last a kind old steamboat passed the island, and
66 THE LIVELY CITY © LIGG

answered the grand piano’s frantic:signals. The steam-
boat was willing to help, but the water was too shallow
. for her to approach very near the island, though the
piano, half crazed with disappointment, waded out as far
as he dared. All hope seemed over, when the steamboat
whistled: ‘Pull out your strings, and throw them over
my funnels!” |

With a cry of joy, the piano tore out a few heavy
wires and, tying them together, threw them as far as he
could. But no, they would not reach! He tore out
more and more, till only three wires were left—A, C,
and D-flat. This sacrifice enabled him to reach the
steamboat, and he was drawn aboard half drowned, and
with one leg broken in the operation. It was set, but so
clumsily put on that he was bowlegged all the rest of
his life.

And so, after many other misfortunes, this Very Grand
Piano at last made his way, with the help of a road
engine, to the field where the windmill was waiting for
him. She, too, had not been happy, and the memory of
the beautiful, bright rosewood piano, whom she had
scorned, kept her awake night after night. How terri-
ble, then, it was to see him again—old, blistered, dull,
and scratched, with one leg awry, his keys rough and
soiled, and his carved music-rest full of sand!
THE VERY GRAND PIANO. 67

But when he began to speak to her once more—though,
indeed, he played only on two black keys and one blue
one—-her heart melted, and she completely broke down,
weeping so that they thought her water-pipe had burst.

And so she found that she loved the piano, in spite of



-his miserable appearance, and they were married and
lived happily forever afterwards, having two children, an
f2olian harp and a hand organ.
68 THE LIVELY ClTY © LIGG.

But the old foghorn never stopped wondering why the
windmill would refuse a handsome polished Very Grand
Piano, with plenty of strings, and accept him after he was
old and used up, and with only three strings to his name!
THE PERT FIRE ENGINE.













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Jac
ENGINE

THERE were many fire engines, members of the Fire
Department of the City o’ Ligg; but of all the number,
the most ill-behaved was the disreputable little Number
Four. He was known all over the city as the biack
sheep of the flock, and every one knew the stories of his
mischief.

In spite of his evil deeds, however, he was a very
handsome machine, wearing a pretty coat of red enamel,
and all his fittings were nickelled, so that they shone like
silver buttons. He always had silken hose, too, for he
was very rich. But he was usually the last engine at the
fire, and he was always sure to shirk, He would hold
back when he was signalled to “ Play away, Four /” and
he would squirt a stream strong enough to drench the
Chief, when he should have held back. He consumed an
1 THE LIVELY ClTY O07 LIeG.

enormous amount of the most expensive fuel, and he
wheezed and puffed till the air shook with vibrations. He
could have been the best engine in the Department, if he
had wanted to, but he didn’t.

So the people of the City o’ Ligg were not very much
surprised when they learned that Number Four had run
away. They hoped only that he would stay away, for
they could get along much better without him. “ He’s
more trouble than he’s worth,” said an old ladder-cart.
“T’ve been tempted, more than once, to fall on him and
break his boiler for him. He won’t even have his hose
darned, because he prefers to leak all over the street !”

For a few weeks Number Four enjoyed his truancy.
He spent most of his time down by a lake, a little out-
side the city, and there he amused himself by going in
swimming, and squirting water over himself like an ele-
phant, till he shone brilliantly in the sunshine. When he
was tired of that, he went around to the farmhouses, and
sucked all the water out of their wells, and flooded their
cellars. The stables were all very much afraid of him,
but dared not complain, though they told their fences to
catch him if they could. ay

Another favourite game of his was to fill his tank with
water, and squirt it at the windmills, playing on their
sails so as to make the wheels spin backwards. This
fe ee Ro PRE oe NG Ne 75

made many of the windmills so ill that they had to stop
pumping for weeks.

But at last Number Four grew tired of this mischief in
the country, and he began to cast about for something
more exciting to do, So one night he loaded himself
with water and rolled into the City o’ Ligg.

He drew up before a little two-story house that was
not painted, but only whitewashed, and began to squirt
water all over her. The poor little house shut her doors
and windows, but even then she was drenched to the
skin, and after an hour or so, almost all her whitewash
was soaked off, and she stood, cold, dripping, and shiver-
ing in the night air, with her naked boards streaked with
white. The naughty fire engine laughed brutally at her
distress, and went back to the lake to concoct more mis-
chief.

Every night, after that, Number Four went into the
town and drenched the houses, laughing, as he poured
streams of cold water down their chimneys, breaking
their windows, washing away their foundations, and
splashing them all over with muddy water.

At last it got to be altogether too much to endure, and
the houses consulted together to see how Number Four
could be caught and punished. They could think of no
way, however, and so, after the fire engine had showered
6 THE LIVELY CITY © LIGG.

a very old and respectable church, and had given him a
severe cold, they applied to the telegraph office to help
them.

The telegraph office was by far the cleverest building
in the City o’ Ligg, but it took him some time to think
of a remedy for this trouble. He consulted, by wire, with
all the offices around Ligg, and at last they decided upon
a plan.

Notice was sent out to all the telegraph poles to strip
off their wires and come into Ligg for further orders.
The next day the houses were surprised to see a proces-
sion of long, naked telegraph poles march into town,
each with a roll of wire onitsarm. They marched up to
the telegraph office that night and received their instruc-
tions.

As soon as it was dark, the poles separated this way
and that, going, some to one part of the town, and some
to another, till the whole city was surrounded. For
several hours, while the houses slept in peace, the poles
worked, going in and out with the wires till they had
woven a fence all round the town. At the principal en-
trances, they left the streets free for the fire engine to get
in; but they contrived big V-shaped traps here and there,
which could be closed by the poles at a moment’s notice.
It was by this time twelve o'clock, the hour when Number
THE PERT FIRE ENGINE. 77

Four usually appeared, and when all the town was quiet
the poles waited for the bad engine to come.

At last they heard the rumble of wheels on the road
from the lake, and in the dark they saw a bright light
approaching; it was the fire in the naughty engine, who
was puffing his way into the town, chuckling to himself
over the fun he was to have with the Town Hall that
night ; for he had planned to fill the whole of the third
story with water before he came back.

Number Four came up to the city gate, with no sus-
picion of what was awaiting him, and boldly rolled up the
main avenue, past the double line of sleeping houses.
There was one house that was snoring with a rough noise,
and the fire engine turned with a laugh and sent astream
of water through its window.

Suddenly the telegraph poles closed round him; they
waved and towered over his head, they lay on the ground
across his road, they threatened to fall upon him. The
poor engine was terrified out of his senses. He backed
and jumped, he whistled and groaned, and he spouted a
black column of smoke out of his funnel, and sent streams
of water in every direction. Suddenly, seeing an open-
ing, he darted back toward the gate, but he soon found
himself walled in by the wire fences. He tried another
way and another, but there was no escape; the wires
3 TEE LIVELY Clive, ©) WIE G.

hemmed him in on all sides, till finally he was stuck so fast
that he could not move, and he stood panting, waiting to
see what would happen next,

His wheels were tied, and his fires put out, and the
next morning the poor shame-faced engine was pulled
into town past the lines of houses, who jeered at him



scornfully. He was led into the Park in the centre of the
City o’ Ligg, and there, where all the principal buildings
could see, he was severely scolded by the Mayor.

It was a long lecture, telling the whole story of his
wickedness, and ending with the sentence that was to be
inflicted upon him asa punishment. One by one they
THE PERT FIRE ENGINE. — 7

took off his bright red and gold wheels, they took off his
pole, and whiffle-trees, his seat-cushions, and_ tool-box,
and then they dug a deep hole in the middle of the Park,
by the side of a well, put him in, covered him with dirt,
and sodded over the burial place.

And so, now, when the tourist in the City o’ Ligg
compliments the Mayor upon the beautiful fountain that
plays night and day in the middle of the Park, sending
up a straight stream of water a hundred feet in the air,
the Mayor says :

“Oh, yes; quite so, quite so! That is the naughty
fire engine, little Number Four, working out his time
of punishment. He was put in for twenty years, but if
he behaves well, we’re going to let him out in nineteen ls



THE INSANE BATTERY.
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THE INSANE BATTERY

Tue City o’ Ligg scarcely needed any defenses, for





the town was certainly quite able to take care of himself,
with so many spirited inhabitants, but for all that there ©
' was a fort, with extensive earthworks, on the river side.»
In the fort lived two dozen cannon, and very ferocious
guns they were. There were a dozen more field-pieces
mounting guard in the earthworks, and it was this battery
that once made a good deal of trouble.

Perhaps the guns were not altogether at fault, after all,
but they certainly went crazy and did much damage. It
was partly the Mayor’s fault, for, being of an economical
turn of mind, he decided to feed them with cobble stones,
to save the expense of iron cannon balls.

It was not: long before one of the largest guns fell ill,
and he insisted that cobble stones disagreed with him.
Very little attention was paid to him, for he was well
g THE LIVELY ClTY O° LIGG.

known to be a grumbler ; but when, one after the other,
all the rest of the cannon refused to eat more cobble
stones, and lay about the fortifications, wheezing and
sneezing and coughing, it was plainly to be seen that
something must be done about it.

The whole battery was sent to be treated at the fort,
where it lay about, groaning and barking, in great agony.
Red-hot cannon balls and shells did no good whatever.

The guns swallowed tons and tons of powder, which
were rammed down their throats with ramrods, but it
seemed to be of no use, and the little caissons who waited
on them and nursed them grew very much alarmed. One
or two of the cannon blew up one night, with a loud,
terrifying report, while in a violent fit of coughing.

At last, unable to stand the agony any longer, one of
the field-pieces got up and wheeled down to the magazine,
to see if he couldn’t find something that would ease his
pain, and there he discovered, in one corner, a large pile
of dynamite sticks. He tried one, and it tasted sweet
and fresh. ‘At any rate,” he said to himself, “ whether
these are good for me or not, they can’t be worse than cob-
ble stones, and they taste much better, so I might as well
die happily. I’m going to eat all I can!”

So he ate adozen or more sticks of dynamite, and then
went up to the hospital and told the other guns about it.
THE INSANE BATTERY. 85

They all became much excited at the news, and resolved
to do the same. “Who knows, it may do us good!”
they cried.

So they all went down into the magazine, and began
to eat dynamite. By and by they began to feel very
queer. The youngest andsmallest guns began to prance
around the room in their carriages, and yell in loud, coarse
voices. The older ones were not affected so soon, but
after a while, they, too, began to feel very gay and silly,
so that before long there was such a riot in the magazine
that the mortars thought the place had exploded, and
waddled away for their lives.

‘“Let’s go into the town!” cried one of the cannon,
and the words were no sooner out of his mouth, than the
whole battery of them echoed, “ Let’s go into the town!”
So they formed a disorderly procession, and rolling and
wheeling in confusion, shouting and screaming, bumping
and falling, they raced into town. By this time, it is
needless to say, they were stark, staring mad !

At the City gate they fired a heavy salute, and then
broke in with a yell. An old omnibus rolled up to them
to see what was the matter, but when he saw the battery
he took to his wheels and scuttled off. The guns began
firing shots at him at short range, and drove him back, in
great alarm, to tell the awful news.
8 THE LIVELY Cl@gyY © LiGeG.

The cannon now began firing at everything in sight. —
They shot the weathercocks off the church steeples ; they
shot patterns of ball-holes in the front of the town hall;
they broke windows with grape, and they ploughed up
the streets with canister. They tossed shells into the
shops, and they blew the roofs off dwelling houses. They
set fire to barns and stables, and they pounded the piers
of the bridges to pieces. They blew up the sidewalks
with shrapnel, and cut down all the trees in the Park close
to their roots. Meanwhile, they were smoking and swear-
ing horribly, while they loaded themselves with fury.

It was a terrible time for the inhabitants of the City o’
Ligg ! The town had not been so lively since the fire
engine ran away. By morning, when the exhausted
artillery had fallen asleep in the Park, there was not a
human being in the City, for all had run away to the
woods. Here the Mayor held a great mass meeting to
see what could be done to prevent a continuation of the
night’s outrage. But no one had anything effective to
propose, for no one dared to enter the town to do any-
thing. If it kept up much longer, the houses would
surely run away, and then where would be the City o’
Ligg?

But there was a little boy there, named Yak, who was
very valourous. He was the same who once tamed a
THE INSANE BATTERY. 87

frightfully furious railway train, and though he was very
little, he was a great friend of the Mayor.

“T think I can do it,” he said, ‘‘and all I want isa
hammer.” -

So the Mayor gave him a hammer and his blessing,
and Yak went all alone into the City o’ Ligg.

It was nine o’clock in the morning, and the fieldpieces
were still sound asleep, in the middle of the Park, by the-
fountain. They were snoring in a terrible manner, and
all around the houses were trembling as if there were an
earthquake on foot, for they were dreading the waking of
the artillery. Some of the houses had already begun to
move. The streets looked as if they had been deserted
for one hundred and fifty-two years.

Yak, tightly clasping his hammer in his hand, stealthily
approached the mad battery, which was sprawling in
great confusion on the grass. Almost all the guns had
goné to sleep in their carriages, but there were a few
who had dismounted, and lay upon the ground. The
little boy made his way carefully amongst them, and
stepped up to the largest gun. Witha single stroke he
knocked off its sights, rendering the piece totally blind.
Before he had quite awakened Yak was out of harm’s
way, and had attacked another cannon. The first was
now thoroughly aroused, and, wild with pain and rage,
began to fire away blindly, right and left.
88. nee EV EY
It was a dangerous ordeal, but Yak’s courage did not
once desert him. He ran from one gun to another
while they were still drowsy with dynamite, and finally
succeeded in knocking the sights off them all, except the
three upon thé ground. He dragged their carriages
away from them, so that they could not turn round, but
would have to fire only in one direction. As by this time



they were the only ones who could see, they were in a
ferocious rage, and implored their comrades to shoot the
boy. But as the others could not aim, they sent cannon
balls in every direction but the right one.

The fury of the battery was now awful. It fired right
and left and into the air, hoping that some of the balls
might fallon Yak. It made a most frightful banging, and
the City was soon filled with clouds of smoke.
THE INSANE BATTERY. 89

Yak’s work, however, was not yet done. Alone and
single-handed, at the risk of his life, he dragged the
carriages this way and that and tied them down. His
plan was to range them in two opposite rows so that
they would shoot each other to little pieces. In this he
was at last successful. One after another the guns
were dismounted. As soon as one was left alone in the
duel Yak spiked it, driving a nail into the touch-hole, till
by noontime every gun was silenced or destroyed.

When the inhabitants at last dared to venture into the
City o’ Ligg, they found little Yak sitting on a gun
carriage smiling, but so dirty that the Mayor hardly knew
him. His face was black with gunpowder and smoke,
and the only white things about him were his teeth and
his eyeballs,

The Mayor of the City o’ Ligg never tried to be
economical after that.



THE HILARIOUS HANSOM.









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THE HILARIOUS HANSON

THERE was once, in the City o’ Ligg, a splendid, vain-
glorious hansom cab, with a blue body and yellow wheels.
It was fitted up in the very best taste, having once been
a private hansom, when it used to be driven by a coach-
man in livery. Now that it was only a hackney carriage,
licensed to carry two persons, and with an ugly, white
tariff list of charges fastened to its dashboard, it was in a
perpetual state of dissatisfaction.

“To think that I should have to carry Tom, Dick, and
Harry !” it said to itself. “I, who have been a private
carriage! I'll show them that I still have spirit!” And
it fairly jounced with indignation. |

It used to misbehave itself so, that at last its driver
hardly dared to drive it. The hansom would back and
wheel, and toss him off his box, and behave in many
gon (Her Vy lee i BO GG:

other disagreeable ways, so that the poor cabby had hard
work in getting a fare. Every one shunned the blue han-
som with yellow wheels, for the story of its pranks had
spread over the City o’ Ligg, and people said that such an
ill-tempered cab was not safe.

The driver’s trade fell off so that he decided to dis-
guise the cab; so he sent it to a coach painter, and had it
all painted as black as a beetle. When it came out again,
all shiny with varnish, the hansom was so furious that,
when they harnessed the horse in between the shafts, its
lanterns flashed with rage.

All of a sudden, just as the driver was mounting the
little seat behind, the hansom exerted all its strength,
bent its shafts almost to the ground, and then with a terri-
ble jerk threw them upward, breaking the traces, and
tossed the horse a hundred feet high into the air!

The enraged driver took his whip and beat the cab
unmercifully, but, of course, ¢#a¢ did no good. The cab
chased him all round the stable yard and came near pin-
ning him against the fence. It clapped its little doors
together and spun around in circles till the cabby yelled
for help.

An old green omnibus rolled up to the stable and
wanted to know what was the matter. After the driver
had told him, the omnibus said: “ Oh, I know how to fix
THE HILARIOUS HANSOM. 07

him! Yveseen horrid hansoms before, and, as for that,
they're all a pretty bad lot, these two-wheelers ; one can
never depend on them. You see, they have no brakes,
and they’re always letting their tempers run away with
them. But the thing for you to do is to harness your
horse in dackwards, then the cab can’t do anything at
all!” But the omnibus did not notice that this hansom
was one of the very few that have windows in the back ;
that makes a good deal of difference in a hansom cab, for
then it can see behind it.

The driver thanked the omnibus very politely for his
advice, and got twenty men to hold his cab while he
harnessed another horse into the shafts, putting the head
of the animal where its tail ought to be—facing the dash-
board. The cab seemed by this time to be as gentle a
vehicle as ever rolled on wheels. It was as quiet asa
wheelbarrow, but it was a sly, ’cute hansom, and it was
waiting for a good chance to get away.

It was a remarkable sight, when the cabby drove out
of the stable yard, and the twenty men yelled with joy to
see the hansom going backwards, pushed by a bewildered
horse, and the driver in the little box, up in the front of
the carriage, with the reins stretching out behind him.
But he got along better than he had expected, hard as it
was to steer around corners in this queer way.
99° Tie LIVE EY Ciiy © LEGG,

Very few persons dared to try to ride in such an equi-
page, however, and by noontime the driver became very
much discouraged, and started for home. Now it was
very foolish of him to attempt to drive down hill with the
cab before the horse, in this way, but he did not stop to
think of the danger, and, before he knew it, he was ona
heavy down grade.

This was just what the cab had been waiting for. It
opened the window in its back, which was now its front,
and, drawing a long breath, it dashed forward with tre-
mendous speed, dragging the horse behind it so fast that
the poor creature could hardly keep his feet on the
ground, and was swept through the air in great, undigni-
fied jumps.

In vain the driver shouted for help. He tried to get
down from the box, but he dared not risk a fall, so he
clung to his seat with both hands, in terror, jolted to one
side and the other as the hilarious hansom flew down the
hill faster and faster. The cab was running away with
him, and he dared not think what was going to happen
next.

The road at the bottom of the hill crossed a wide river
by a stone bridge. Just before the runaway reached
this the cab sheered suddenly to the left, nearly throw-
ing off the shrieking, terrified driver, and, with a tremen-
THE HILARIOUS HANSOM. 99

dous bound, jumped the wall at the side of the road, and
plunged into the river.

The driver thought that the hansom could go no fur-
ther, and he was preparing to dive into the water and
swim for the shore, when the cab wheels began to revolve
like paddle wheels with great velocity, and, churning the
water into a froth of foam and bubbles, they sailed up
the stream at the rate of fifteen miles an hour, like a new
sort of steamboat.

Once sure they could navigate the stream with safety,
the driver gave up all thought of escaping, and decided
to see the adventure out. He turned his attention to the
horse, who also seemed to be beginning to enjoy the
trip. He had become very hot with such terrific exercise,
and the bath was very refreshing, especially as he did not
have to swim, but allowed himself to be towed along by
the paddle cab, his tail streaming out behind.

Hours passed, and still they sailed up the river. At
last, however, they could go no further, for a dam blocked
the way. The cab floated around below the mill pond
for a while, as if lost in thought, and then, heading for
the bank, climbed upon the ground again, shook itself like
a dog, and proceeded towards the mill.

It was a small mill, and a rather pretty one, with a
flashing red wheel spattering the waters of the mill race
100 LHe LIVELY: Cliy © EILGG,

in every direction. This wheel seemed to fascinate the
hansom cab. It gazed and gazed, and after a while the
driver heard it say to itself:

“Ah, I, too, was once beautiful, when I had a blue
body and yellow wheels! Now, I am all of a gruesome
black, as ugly as a hearse! How I wish I could have
those wheels ; red ones are not nearly so pretty as yellow,
but they are much better than black!”

So saying, the cab approached the mill, which was so
busy grinding corn that it had not noticed the strangers.
“Hello!” cried the hansom cab.

The mill did not stop for a little while, but it said,
‘Hello yourself!”

“What will you take for your wheels?” enquired the
cab.

The mill stopped now, opened its windows, and looked
at the hansom. ‘“ What’ll you give ?” it said.

“T tell you what I’ll do,” said the cab. “I'll exchange
with you even; my wheels have rubber tyres, and they’re
remarkably easy on the axles!”

The mill was silent awhile, and looked the cab all over,
from shafts to roof. Then it winked one shutter, and
said, “ All right, ’1 go you. You sit down beside me,
here, by the mill race, where I can hand them to you.”

So the mill moved along a little, and made room for
THE HILARIOUS HANSOM. §1o1

the hansom, which sat down and took off its wheels,
Then the mill took off its own wheels, and put the han-
som’s on slowly, so that the cab should be ready first,

a

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The cab looked very pleased as it tried on the red mill
wheels, and spun them around merrily; but they would



AEA

only go round one way.
“See here,” itcried, “these are no good; give me mine

back, will you!”
ion THE LIVELY CilyY © LLGG:

But it was too late. Assoon as the mill saw its wheels
on the cab, it slipped on the rubber-tyred wheels, and was
up and off inaninstant. The last thing the hansom saw
of the mill it was disappearing in the forest a half mile
away.

And, to its dismay, the hansom found that the paddle
wheels not only would not go backwards, but they
wouldn't stop to allow it to take them off, but kept spin-
ning and spinning round, till the miller came along, and
filled the poor captive cab full of corn, and set it grinding
the mill’s grist. And there the hansom cab had to stay
for the rest of its life, grinding corn year in and year out.

The miller helped the cabby to unhitch the horse from
the shafts, and was told the whole story of the vainglori-
ous hansom.

“Well,” said the miller, as the driver got astride his
horse, ready to ride home to the City o’ Ligg, “I expect
it will serve the hansom right for having been so proud
and vain!”
THE STEAMBOAT AND THE
LOCOMOTIVE.




2 Dapier Gigit
UNERS mor ape

GLEN _ Bok 7 SED











y



THE STEAMBOATL<«
AND THE LOCOMOTIVE

On the railway that ran through the City o’ Ligg there
was once an English-made locomotive who was always
discontented and grumbling. Nothing in the world was
good enough for him; or, at least, nothing in the
City o’ Ligg.

His coal was too hard or too soft; it was never just
right. He hated to pull passenger trains because he had
to go so fast, and he didn’t like to pull freight trains be-
cause they were too heavy. He was always complaining
that he was out of order, so that he might stay in the
Round House, and not work. He would shut himself
on sidings in hopes he might be forgotten ; he was afraid
to go over bridges, for fear they would break down ; and
he hated tunnels because they were so dark and cold.
He thought iron rails were too soft to get good hold on,
:
166 THE LIVELY CITY ©' LIGG.

and he said that steel rails were altogether too slippery.
Sometimes he declared that he wouldn’t run where ‘there
were not modern metal ties, and at other times he
asserted that the old-fashioned wooden sleepers made a
much better road-bed.. He quarrelled with his tender,
and he refused to be coupled up to one that he didn’t
fancy. He snorted and hissed at the semaphores and.
point signals, and he was a nuisance to the railway in
more ways than can be told.

But if he were bad, there was a young steamboat on the
river who was worse. She was a very pretty craft, but
that was no reason why she should insist on having a
new set of paddle-wheels every year. She was absurdly
particular about her funnel, and if it were not painted the
exact colour that she fancied, she would declare that she
would scuttle herself. She would roll and pitch with
anger if they tried to back her. She would dig up the
muddy bottom of the river with her paddles, and she gave
a deal of trouble about steering.

When these two ill-natured creatures came together at
the dock in the river, below the fortifications, they used
to complain to each other till the cannon above them
would cry, “Oh, I say!” and the bridge told them that
they ought to be ashamed of themselves.

One day, after the steamboat had been carrying a load
STEAMBOAT AND LOCOMOTIVE. 107

of noisy excursionists up from the harbour, she found the
locomotive on the pier in a very gloomy state of mind.

“Tm not going to stand this any longer!” he said. —
“ They've put me to hauling coal, and it’s no work for a
machine like me, especially when I can’t burn any of it
myself. I’m going to run away !”

“Well, that’s a good idea ; suppose I go with you, and
we'll set out together to seek our fortunes !” said the
steamer.

They talked it all over, and finally decided to start that
very night. The steamboat was to help the locomotive
on the water, and the locomotive was to help the steamboat
on the land. They were to share their wood and coal
and water together, and have a jolly good time as long
as they could. se

At midnight the locomotive got on board the boat, and
she steamed softly up the river. ‘‘ This is fun!” said the
locomotive. |

“It’s all right for you,” said the boat; “ but I must say
you're heavier than I thought. Wait till it’s your turn to
give mea ride. I can’t go very much farther, anyway,
the water is getting shallow. There’s a dam up above
here, so I think we’d better go ashore now.”

She climbed up the bank with the locomotive’s assist-
ance, and he then hoisted her up on top of his cab, and
108 THE LIVELY CITY O’ LIGG.

set out across the fields. She was a little boat, but she
was heavy, and the locomotive puffed away with all his
might through the grass, stopping to rest once in a while.
So they went on for several days, turn and turn about,
for they had to cross several lakes on their way.

After awhile they began to approach a line of hills,
and the ground grew steeper and steeper, till at last the
locomotive could go no farther with the steamboat on his
back. So she got off and scrambled along for a few
miles with her paddle-wheels while the locomotive
pushed her from behind. But the time came when they
could neither of them go a step farther, and they lay on
the ground exhausted. To make matters worse, they
grew short of water and fuel. They cut down their
rations to a ton of coal and a barrel of water a day, and
even then they didn’t have enough to take them back to
either a forest or a lake.

It seemed likely that they would have to perish there
on the hillside, and they quarrelled with each other
peevishly, each accusing the other of being at fault for
suggesting this terrible journey. The old river Wob
and the railway of the City o’ Ligg had never seemed so
pleasant before, but, alas! it was many days’ journey
away.

Just as they had begun to think that all hope was
STEAMBOAT AND LOCOMOTIVE. 109

gone, one of them espied a dot in the sky. It grew
slowly larger and larger.

“Tt is a dalloon/” they cried together, and they both
began to blow their whistles with all the strength of the
little steam that was left in their boilers.

The balloon came nearer and nearer, till it had got
within hailing distance, and then they saw it was laugh-
ing almost hard enough to split its sides. It was a very
fat, pink, round balloon, and as it shook with merriment,
its basket swung wildly above them.

“Well, I declare /” it cried out, “this is the queerest
thing I ever saw! What in the world are you two doing
away up in these mountains? I never saw a locomotive
or a steamboat on top of a hill before!”

“For heaven’s sake, please don’t laugh like that,”
cried the steamer; ‘but come and help us, before we
perish !”

The balloon finally consented to give them assistance
over the mountains, and let down a rope, which the two
tied around their waists. The balloon then rose, and the
locomotive and steamboat were hoisted high in the air,
and they all sailed away towards the East, across the
range of mountains, They had floated fora half a day
in this way, when the balloon gave a pull up, a little
harder than usual, and the rope suddenly broke !
TO) ee Lal Vib Cli Y (O7) bL.G G,

Down went the two, falling faster and faster through
the air, and they both thought that their last moment
had come, But by good luck they happened to fall in







Caaenigie ales
h a iboac prota oH

si AERA A
the middle of a large forest, and landed safely in a great



oak tree, without breaking a piece of machinery. |

Yet they had, after all, escaped one danger only to fall
into another. They were lost in an immense wilderness
and did not know in which direction to turn, The loco-
STEAMBOATANDLOCOMOTIVE.111

motive finally succeeded in climbing a tall tree, and
made out smoke rising in the distance.

To this they painfully made their way, and, after a ter-
rible struggle, they drew near—rusty, scratched, and
‘smoky—and came to an old saw-mill by the side of a little
stream. It was a hideous old mill, of a villainous aspect,
that alarmed them both. But here was their only hope,
and though they were far from any assistance in case of
danger, the two unfortunate machines found themselves
obliged to apply to the mill for shelter and fuel.

The mill welcomed them very hospitably, but there
was something in his dusty, oily manner that the loco-
motive did not trust, and he resolved to stay awake and
watch. The little, delicate steamboat was, by this time,
too exhausted to notice anything. After they had
drunk many barrels of water each, they revived a little,
and the mill offered them a few tons of sawdust, which,
he said, was the only fuel he could give them. At the
first trial the steamer whispered to the locomotive that it
tasted queerly, but they decided that it was only the oil
- in which it was soaked. At any rate, they had to eat
that or nothing, and they made a meal of it without
more ado.

Hardly had they burned the last mouthful, however,
before they both fell into a heavy sleep, and knew noth-
1) DHE LIVELY CLEY © LiGe 3

ing for many hours. The locomotive was awakened by
a sudden horrible pain, and he was terrified to find the
teeth of a buzz-saw cutting through his side. He sprang
up with a roar of agony, but it was too late; his left hind
wheel had been bitten off! He charged furiously at the
sides of the mill, and tore open a great hole, then
dragged out the steamboat, and ran her into the forest
as fast as his five wheels could carry him. The mill
screamed and shrieked after them as they hurried away.

As they stood trembling in the forest, and thanked
their stars for such a narrow escape, a sudden glare of
light attracted their attention. The mill was on fire, set,
no doubt, from some sparks dropped by the locomotive
in its terrible struggle for escape.

By the light of the burning mill they made their way —
through the forest all night. With new fuel and water
their strength had been partially renewed, and terror
increased their efforts.

In the morning, after a short sleep, they awoke to find
themselves by the side of a wide river, to which they had
hobbled during the night, but had not seen in the dark.
Alongside the bank of the stream ran a beautiful, level
railway line. They looked and looked, hardly able to
believe their windows. It was too good to be true!

It did not take them long to decide what todo. The
STEAMBOAT AND LOCOMOTIVE. 113

little steamboat gave one leap into the river, and whistled
long and merrily. The locomotive crawled on to the
line, and rang its bell in a joyous peal. For they knew
by the looks of the country that they had been travelling
in a huge semi-circle, and that the river and the railway
led directly into the City o’ Ligg.

So they steamed along, side by side, together, the
lame locomotive and the sorrowful, shamefaced steam-
boat. That day one laid her head at last alongside the
dock, and one puffed timidly into the station; both
decided never to complain of any work that they should
have to do in the future.



THE BOTHERSOME BRIG.


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THE BOTHERSOME BRIG

Tere was a bold, boisterous little brig that came up
the river Wob to the City o’ Ligg twice a year, with
a cargo of confectionery from foreign ports. Every
June and every November she entered the harbour,
waved her flag at the light-house on the island, gave
her bow to the tug who came down to escort her up-
stream, and, after twisting through the curly channel fora
day, cast her anchor, and lay in the river, just off the rail-
way pier, below the fortifications.

But this was all she ever saw of the lively City o’ Ligg.
There were but a few houses visible, and the spire of a
church beyond, from whose belfry the chimes called out a
welcome to her whenever she came to port; but the little
brig had, of course, never seen the Town Hall, nor the
Post Office, nor any of the wonderful buildings she had
heard so much about.
mo THE LIVELY CLEY © LIGG.

Now, the last time the brig came to Ligg she found a
steam-roller going back and forth on the new road by the
railway pier, and whenever he stopped work she used to
gossip with him about the sights of the city. He wasa
lazy old thing, was the steam-roller, and so fat and heavy
that he could scarcely puff up and down over the gravel
on the newroad. It took too much effort for him to turn
round when he had to return to the pier, and so he used
to stop and then crawl backwards. Indeed, it would have
taken as much room for him to have turned round in
as would have been necessary for the brig herself.

“You're a queer old catamaran,” said the saucy brig to
him one day; ‘you ought to go to sea, where there's
plenty of room to turn around.”

“T’d like to, sure,” said the steam roller. ‘They say
the roads are pretty rough and lumpy in the ocean. I
should think that they would need a deal of rolling !”

“Oh, we can all roll ourselves,” said the bright brig.

“ Really, I'd like to go,” continued the roller, “I’m
tired of this everlasting up and down, and back and forth,
to and fro, forward and back, and all. Always in the
mud, too! I’m positively filthy with this slime. Id like
to go in swimming and get clean! I believe I will! Do
you think I couldswim? I never tried.”

“Of course you could!” said the bad brig. ‘It’s as
THE BOTHERSOME BRIG. 121

easy as rolling! Goon in!” and she smiled behind her
foresail. |

The stupid steam-roller, at this mischievous encourage-
ment, started for the bank and rushed down witha rattle
and slam, and after a short run brought up short, stuck
fast in the thick mud at the edge of the water. Here he
puffed and snorted, and great beads of water dripped
from his round boiler in the effort to move, but it was of
no use, he was mired. ‘Oh, help! Ze/p/ I’m stuck!” he
cried.

The brig moved over a little nearer and looked at him and
laughed. ‘Well, well!” shesaid. “You do look likea pig
in a pen! How are you ever going to get out, Roly ?”
Then, after watching his struggles for awhile, an idea
occurred to her, “I'll tell you what I'll do. If you'll take
me into town, and show me the sights, I'll hoist you out
of the mud and put you on the road again.”

“All right,” said the roller, glad of any chance to
escape. So the brig set her topsails, and crept up to the
edge of the stream, and then dipped her bowsprit under
the wheel of the steam-roller, and pushed, and lifted, and
pushed, till she got the machine up the bank again, and
upon the roadway. It was no easy matter, however, and
by the time the roller was back in place, the bow of the
brig was aground. She passed him a cable then, and,
122 ee VEY Cl vo On. rG G&G:

making it fast to the roller’s boiler, she told him to go
ahead.

The steam-roller pulled and pulled, and tugged and
strained, till the brig feared that the rope would part, but



she was ee moved out of the water, up the bank,

and finally reached the new road.

_ “Ugh!” she said. “Tt hurts, rather, but I don’t care;

I’m bound to see this City 0’ Ligg I’ve heard so much

about ; so go ahead, Roly, and warp me up to the Park.”
They started for the city, the roller puffing, hissing, and


THE BOTHERSOME BRIG. 123

rattling, and the keel of the brig scraping along the
gravel road, lurching this way and that, poking her mast
heads through the windows of the houses occasionally,
and catching her yards in the lamp posts. Altogether
they made a great hullabaloo, and all the cabs, omnibuses,
and street-cars in town came rolling up to see what was
the matter. They jeered at the steam-roller with great
glee, for they had never seen him work so hard. He
usually was seen leisurely smoking and waddling slowly
up and down the street, stopping to rest after every trip,
like a fat Dutchman promenading a piazza after break-
fast.

“Go it, Roly!” they cried; and so the brig was
followed by a great crowd to the Town Hall. Here the
roller stopped to get his breath. ‘This is the Park,” he
said; “really, this is all there is worth seeing in the city,
Don’t you want to go back now ?”

“Not much!” said the brig, who was enjoying herself
thoroughly. “I want to see the whole town. Let’s go

up Queer-street !”

The vessel pointed up a little road
off the Common.

The steam-roller grumbled a good deal.at this, a did
not dare to refuse, and so they plunged up Queer-street,
the brig rolling and pitching as if in a heavy gale, and the

indignant houses, who had never seen a vessel before in
t4 Pie LIVELY ClDy Ov LTGe.

their lives, expostulating at the way she scraped the
paint off their faces and broke their windows. _

Now, not far from the church by the Park, Queer-street
makes a turn at nearly right angles, and when they got
to this point, it was impossible to get the brig round the.
corner, and she stuck fast, jammed in between the houses
on either side of the street, being able to go neither for-
ward or back.

‘Now how are you going to get out ?” said the steam-
roller, “It’sall your fault, for you woudd come up Queer-
street. I can’t pull you any farther!”

There was a house being built behind the telegraph
office, and there was a huge scaffolding, with a platform
and a tall derrick on top. The derrick swung its arm
round over Queer-street, and it cried, “What's the.
matter down there? What in the world is that ship
doing in the City, anyway ?”

“’m not a ship; I’m a brig,” said the vessel. ‘Don't
you see that I have only two masts? I wonder that’ I
have any left at all, after this tight squeeze; it’s worse —
than being caught in the ice !” .

“Oh, Pllift you out,” said the derrick, good-humouredly,
much amused at seeing a sailing vessel on such very dry
land. “See here, you pass this rope around your waist,
and I'll get you out.”
THE BOTHERSOME BRIG. 125

So the brig tied the rope round her hull, and the der-
rick lifted her bodily out of Queer-street, and then,
swinging round, lowered her gently into the main street
again, opposite the Park. Meanwhile, the lazy steam-
roller, seeing that, in the excitement, he was not observed,
rumbled away, and got back to the new road by the river
as fast as he could.

The brig was now high and dry in the middle of the
_ main street, blocking the traffic, and unable to move an
inch, for none of the motor cars was half strong enough ©
to pull her out of the way. This would never do, how-
ever, and all the vehicles in town protested against the
obstruction. The trains were blocked in a line nearly a
mile long, when the little boy named Yak came along.

“Why don’t you get out of the road, brig ?” said Yak.
«You've no business lying here in the fairway !”

“ There’s wind enough,” said the brig, “but the water
is too shallow! I’m hard aground!”

Then Yak went to see the Mayor. “I'll get the brig
out of the road, if you'll order all the lamp Bae in town
to help me,” he said.

« All right,” said the Mayor, and he made out the order.
When all the lamp posts were assembled in the Park, Yak
had their lamps removed, and led them along the street,
and made them lie down in the middle of. the road, the
126) ER liven DY Orr yO sLiee:

first one directly under the brig’s cut-water, and the
others along down the street as far as the river.

Yak then boarded the brig and helped her set her sails,
When her canvas was all unfurled he cried to the motor
cars behind to push as hard as they could. The brig
moved forward and soon touched the first lamp post which
rolled under her keel, and after that she went forward
easily, under full sail with a fair wind, down the main
street of the City o’ Ligg,

The lamp posts made a great outcry at this, and whined
dismally ; but, of course, being of cast iron, they were not
really hurt at all. Now, Yak had laid them in the road
very carefully, ten pointing to the right and the next ten
pointing to the left, head to head, or, rather, where their
heads would have been if the lamps had not been
removed, In this way, the posts being larger round at
one end than the other, the brig sailed forward in curves,
first to port and then to starboard, as if she were tacking
and beating against a head wind. As she zigzagged
down the street all the windows waved their curtains at
her, and the motor cars in her wake set up a_ hilarious
toot-tooting. There had never such a gay sight been seen
on the streets of the lively City 0’ Ligg. —

But there was one thing that Yak had forgotten. He
had laid the posts along the main street to the river very
THE BOTHERSOME BRIG. 127

cleverly, but he had not remembered that it was above
the bridge, and so, when the brig, amid the cheers of the
waggons and motor cars, took her triumphant plunge into
the stream and, happy to feel again the soft, cool splashing
of the water along her keel, set off gaily towards the
harbour, she brought up, bang ! against the old bridge and
nearly lost her foretopmast! It was no use, she could —
never get down the river to the sea again.

And so there the bothersome little brig remains, a cap-
tive in the river Wob, like an insane lioness, a prisoner in
the cage of a menagerie, sailing back and forth all day
long, from one year’s end to another.
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THE HOUSE WHO WALKED
IN HER SLEEP.







‘EALICED IN HIER sO

TueEreE had always been a good deal of gossip about
the little white house with the green blinds, ever since
she had moved to the City o’ Ligg. A great many of
the buildings were distrustful of her, and they whispered

-all sorts of things to each other.

To be sure, the little house had always behaved with
the greatest propriety, but there was much comment upon
the fact that she had no stable, which the buildings

regarded as suspicious! There had once been a stable
where she stood, but it had mysteriously eiopecated
long ago.

Besides this, none of the other houses knew exactly
where she had come from. She replied, vaguely, “ From
the country,” when any of the buildings asked her directly,
but this was undoubtedly an evasion, It was, moreover,
162 (iE ie PV EY ie 1 Eye © eG Ge,

not easy to question the demure little white house with
the green blinds, for she had away of making the others
think that perhaps it was none of their business, after all.

But when, one morning, the houses woke up and found
that the little house, who had been white the day before,
had turned d/ue, there was great excitement among the
buildings of the City o’ Ligg. None of them dared ask
her the reason why she had changed her coat, nor how
she had done it so quickly, but the houses fairly hummed
with gossip, and the story was told from one street to an-
other. That happened on Monday morning, and they
were still more surprised when, on Tuesday morning, they
found the little house was yellow/

Surely something must be done about it, and so an old
baker’s shop asked her to explain how and why she had
changed colour during the night. The little house
treated the shop very politely, but only said:

“Upon my word, I honestly have no idea how the
thing happened! I went to sleep quite as usual, and
when I woke up in the morning I was a different colour.
If you can explain it, I’d be very glad to know myself !”

The houses all scoffed at the idea of her being so inno-
cent. Of course she knew all about it, and she ought to
be exposed, for it would not do to let such a scandal go
on! So they sent to the Police Station and complained
HOUSE WALKED IN HER SLEEP. 133

of the little house, and that night she was carefully
watched by a very respectable old Church.

At midnight the Church saw the little house give a
shudder, and move uneasily on her foundations. But
her windows were blank and without expression; she
was undoubtedly asleep! The little house’s door yawned,
and she slowly began to stir. She crawled down towards
the rear of the yard, and began moving through the gar-
den and across the fields.

The old Church followed her as she made her way out
of town into the open country. They came at last to a
range of low hills, The further side of these hills was
dotted with patches of woods, between which the little
house went, till at last she came to the shore of a small
lake of red paint.

The Church hid behind a clump of trees and peeped
out to see what the little house would do next. What
was his astonishment to see her sit down on the bank be-
side the red lake and calmly take off all her doors and all
her blinds and then plunge into the paint! Her windows,
however, were still blank and shut; there was no doubt
about it; the little house was swimming in her sleep !

After staying in the red paint for about half an hour, the
house came on shore again and stood in the moonlight,
all red and dripping. When she had dried, she put on
4 THE LIVELY ClFy oO fetcG.

her blinds and doors, smoothed down her slates, and pro-
ceeded home, followed by the astounded Church.

The next day he told the Post Office the whole story,
and they consulted together as to what should be done
about the matter. . Surely this sort of thing should not
be allowed to go on. They decided, therefore, to appeal

to the Police Station, who directed that a high fence be
be built around the little house, and that night all three
of them sat up to watch.

At midnight, as before, the little house began to stir.
She moved over to the fence in the rear of the yard, and
seemed at first unable to tinderstand what stopped her ©
progress. But then she ran against the fence, pushed it
violently down, and escaped, followed by the Church, the
- Post Office, and the Police Station.

Over the hills and through the woods they chased the
little house, but this time she took a slightly different di-
rection, which led her finally to a lake of green paint.
Here the same thing happened as before, to the great
astonishment and embarrassment of the three spectators.

So this was how the little house was able to afford a
different coat of paint every night! The three buildings
that watched her would have gone bathing in the lake .
themselves, no doubt, but none of them could swim, at
least, not while awake; there is no knowing what they
might have been able to do in their sleep.
HOUSE WALKED IN HER SLEEP. 135

The next night the little house went toa lake of drown
paint, By this time the whole City o’ Ligg was excited
about her, and all sorts of rumours were floating around
the streets and avenues. Some buildings said the little
house was in love with a paint mill, who gave her a new



coat every night; but why the house’s blinds and doors
were always green, no one but the Church, the Post Office,
and the Police Station could explain.

At last the fact leaked out that the little house was a
6° THE LIVELY CITY Of LicG.

somnambulist, and went a-swimming in lakes of coloured
paints, and that night the whole City o’ Ligg followed
her when she started out at midnight. They streamed
across the fields and hills after her—houses, churches,
stores, shops, inns, factories, public buildings and edifices
of every description, till where the City o’ Ligg had been
was nothing but one big honeycomb of cellars, and all to
see a poor little house go swimming!

This time she led them to a beautiful purgle lake, and
while the thousands of buildings. waited upon the bank,
she took off her doors and took off her blinds, and
splashed and spattered in the paint, as if she were a hun-
dred miles from the nearest house, and quite alone in
the forest !

Suddenly in diving she struck something hard on the
bottom, and feeling for it caught hold and dragged it to
the surface and pulled it ashore. It was her long-lost
stable !

The stable immediately awoke her, and the thousand
spectators shook with laughter to see the bewilderment
of the little house. The two dripping purple buildings,
however, were too happy to notice the peeping audience
behind the trees, and they embraced each other with
touching fondness. They then sat down and, after blow-
ing the purple paint out of their chimneys, told each








HOUSE WALKEDIN HER SLEEP. 137

other the stories of their lives, since they had been
separated. :

The buildings on shore became, now, so much
ashamed of their cruel and unjust suspicions, and so
affected by the happiness of the little house that, one by
one, they stole away to the City o’ Ligg, and decided not
to say anything to the little house about their own dis-
graceful part of the affair.

And so when the house and her faithful stable returned
to town and took their old places, no one asked the
explanation of her new coat or her new stable. There
they stand to this day, and these loving purple buildings
are the most respected edifices in the whole of the City 0’

Ligg.



THE BOLD BALLOON.



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to the North-east o’ Ligg was cordially hated by all the
inhabitants of the City. They were a lazy, useless lot,

and never did anything but amuse themselves. They
were all fat, and generally very prosperous, but they
were by no means intelligent, and the citizens in town
called them mere “bags of wind.”

There was one amongst the flock who was particularly
disliked, for he was almost the only one who ever came
into town, and when he did it was always for some mis-
chief. The City clocks used to make faces at him when
they saw him coming, but he paid them well for that by
twisting their hands round the wrong way, till they
struck all sorts of hours at once. When you heard a
church chime ring out six bells in the middle of the day,
m4 THE LIV Ey €1iry O’ LIGG.

you might be sure that the bad balloon was in town, and
up to his old pranks.

The balloon, however, preferred tickling big heavy
churches in the small of their ridgepoles till their steeples
writhed. When he was not doing that, he was usually
dropping stones on the roofs, or emptying sandbags into
chimneys, and pretending it was only an accident. He
was very careful not to interfere with the windmills, how-
ever, for once when he was trying to annoy one she struck
at him savagely with her arms, and wounded his basket
so that he didn’t dare to come into the City o’ Ligg for
several weeks.

His tricks became such a nuisance, finally, that the
houses insisted that he must be captured. It was hardly
safe to go to sleep at night, for fear of that bad balloon
coming round your roof and scratching your tiles the
wrong way.

They prevailed upon the Fire Department to try to
catch him, and the engines tired themselves out squirting
at the balloon. When, at last, they did succeed in turn-
ing a stream of water on him, he only laughed at them.
He was made of oiled silk, and was used to being rained
on, and didn’t mind having a bath in the least.

The artillery tried next, but they couldn’t come any-
where near hitting him. Besides, the cannon balls that
THE BOLD BALLOON. 145

they fired into the air had come down again, and they
usually came down upon the roofs of the houses, which
was a good deal worse than being scratched by a com-
paratively harmless balloon, or even hit with his drag-
anchor.

The houses had given up all hopes of catching the
balloon, when he got himself into worse trouble than
they had been able to make for him. He came in one
day, and was having great fun with the Town Hall, when
a gust of wind struck him, and blew him past the cupola,
and, the first thing the balloon knew, he was punctured
by the weather vane, which tore a great rent in his side.

The gas slowly oozed out of the silken bag of the
balloon, and he collapsed and fainted dead away. There
was great rejoicing among the houses at this. Noth-
ing could have been more fortunate for them, or worse
for the balloon. A long ladder finally succeeded in get-
ting him down from the cupola, and he was left in the
street until the buildings should decide what to do with
him.

The balloon recovered his senses late that evening, and
found himself alone, lying in the street in front of the
Town Hall. He bewailed his fate bitterly with what
strength was left him, and thought what a fool he had
been to come into the town when he might now have been
Ho. THE Ly BEY Cliy O; LlGG.

playing amongst the clouds and the rainbows high above
the mountains outside the City o’ Ligg! He tried to
turn over, but his wound pained him and his basket was
sore from being thrown down from the cupola.

He lay there for a while, moaning softly, when it —
seemed to him that he smelled gas somewhere about, and
_ this hope immediately revived his spirits. He lifted him-
self as well as he could and looked about him. Only a
few feet away from where he was lying he sawa great hole
in the street. He crawled over to this and looked in.
What was his excitement to see down in the hole a gas-
pipe that was being repaired !

He got his basket and his anchor down into the hole
and worked away with all his might. It was getting light
now, and if he was to escape at all he must hurry, for he
was sure that in the morning they would send for a
mowing machine and cut him up into little pieces.

After an hour’s hard work he had bitten completely
through the gas-pipe, and had laid his valve over the
orifice. Slowly his silken bag filled with gas, and his
strength returned. But try as he might he found he
could not fill himself more than half-full, and so, at last,
fearful of being discovered, he wobbled away down the
street as fast as he could, flapping and waving, the most
disreputable balloon imaginable. He made his way to-
THE BOLD BALLOON. 147

wards the country, but, after travelling a mile or so, he
found he could go no further, as he leaked so badly.

He had reached a farm-house on the road to the hills,
and rustled into the yard to see whom he could find to
help him. In the yard was a rusty sewing machine.

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“Good morning,” said the balloon.

“How do you do?” replied the machine; “and who
are you?”
140) AEE LIVELY G1LQY OVI G G,

“T am a circus tent, and I’ve come to ask you to sew
me up, please. A steam calliope ran into me, and tore
this big rent, as you see!” And the half-empty balloon
made himself stiff and angular to look like a tent.

«Where is your pole?” said the sewing machine.

“Oh, I broke my pole,” said the balloon,

“What are you going to do with that basket?” said
the machine.

“ Never mind; will you help me or not?”

“T’ll help you on one condition, and that is that you go
to the Electric Power House and steal a little dynamo to
be my slave, I always did want to be run by electricity !”

‘As she absolutely refused to sew him up till he had
done this, the balloon had to stay there till the next night,
and then hobble back into town, and try to kidnap the
dynamo. He set out as soon as it was dark, and by mid-
night he had got to the Power House..

It was very dark inside, for the electric lights always
went out at twelve o'clock, and he got in through the
doors they had left open, making himself as small as pos-
sible in the hallway, squeezing through passages with
great difficulty and pain.

He had just reached the dynamo room, when a sizzling
blue flame flashed, and he fell on the floor with a stinging
pain darting through him, while the air seemed full of
THE BOLD BALLOON. | 149

violet sparks. He had stumbled across a live wire and
had received a terrible shock.

In the morning they found him there unconscious, but
he never recovered, and expired without knowing what
-had killed him.

It was rather a disappointment to the Fire Department,
for they had decided to harness and halter the balloon,
and tie him up above the Park by a long rope, so that he
might be used to hold their hose when the tops of the
houses caught fire.



THE LAZY LAMPPOSTS.







|
THE LAZY LANPPOSTS

THE lamp posts on Queer-street were the most dis-
orderly in the whole City o’ Ligg. They went out when
they should have been attending to duty, they smoked,
and they gambolled. In other parts of town the lamp

posts were sedate and well-behaved, and stood in perfectly
straight rows, like columns of soldiers marching down
the streets. They tried by every argument they could
think of to make the Queer-street oe posts behave
properly.

‘See here,” said the elder ones, “you fellows think
you are awfully clever and smart, I suppose, to cut up
‘such shines, but you'll be taken down, some day, and
they'll put up electric light poles instead, the first thing
you know! Zhen you'll wish you had behaved! You're
134 THE LIVELY CITY 0’ LIGG.

getting us all into trouble, and you ought to be ashamed
of yourselves!”

But the Queer-street lamp posts flared up at this; they
made light of the rebuke, and said “¢hey didn’t care,
they were going to have their fun while they were young,
and the other fellows could just shut up preaching like
prigs!”

So they lolled and loafed around on the corners, and
winked at the hansom cabs as they passed by, and bowed
mockingly to the omnibuses, and they beckoned to the
bicycles with their little short arms, till they made a great
scandal of their behaviour throughout the whole. City o’
Ligg.

One dark night, one of the silliest of them suggested
that they should all go to the Park, and play hide-and-seek.
No sooner was this foolishness proposed than the whole
twenty-seven lamp posts started in a tipsy procession
down Queer-street, jostling each other, knocking each
other down, scrambling, waltzing, reeling, climbing on
top of each others’ shoulders, jumping fences, ringing
door-bells, rollicking, frollicking, bouncing, jouncing,
hopping, flopping in the wildest kind of a hullabaloo, to-
wards the Park. They were like a lot of puppies that
‘had just been unmuzzled.

Then they began the tipsiest game of hide-and-seek


THE LAZY LAMPPOSTS. 1s

that ever was played. All but one put out their lights,
and that one chased the others all over the Common.
They jumped over trees, and they crawled under benches ;
they got up on the roof of the Grand Band Stand, and
they hid in the Frog Pond, and stuck their lanterns out
of water to watch.

While the fun was at its height, a little policeman sud-
denly appeared and arrested the whole twenty-seven, and
tied them together by threes. Then he opened a sewer-
pipe and locked them in, while he went for help.

Now, the sewer-pipe led to the river, emptying into it
about a mile or two below the City o’ Ligg. The lamp
posts succeeded in untying their fastenings, and imme-
. diately began to crawl through the slimy hole, in the
dark, one behind the other, and, after many hours, they
crawled out upon a sand bar, in the middle of the river,
half drowned, and as dirty as worms.

They would have stayed on the island till they froze to
“death, if it hadn’t happened that a tug came along just
then. Of course, they didn’t dare to go back to the City
after such an escapade, but they didn’t know where else
to go. Now the tugs inthe river Wob were not noted
for their good-nature, and the lamp posts might have
known, if they had not been such giddy, light-headed
things, that tugs were not to be trusted. — .
mo PHE LIVE Y Clay @7 VEG.

The tug whistled to them, ‘Hallo! what are you
muddy lamp posts doing there on that bar?”

The lamp post who had first suggested the lark
answered, “ We set out to have a torch-light procession,

but we got lost.”



The tug pretended to believe this very improbable
story, and cried, “You come and get aboard me, and I'll
take you to a good place where you can get plenty of
oil!”

So the twenty-seven climbed aboard over each other's
shoulders, and the tug put off down stream. As they
THE LAZY LAMPPOSTS. 157

reached the harbour, the little vessel began to roll fright-
fully, and the posts became exceedingly seasick. Some
of them tried to get off to wade ashore, but the water
was so deep that they were afraid.

Finally, the tug steamed up to an island where there
was a white revolving lighthouse, and rolled them all
into shallow water, and shot away hissing and bubbling
with laughter. They all struggled ashore, and waited on
the beach, wondering where they were and what to do.

As the lighthouse turned slowly around, like a search-
light, its rays flashed upon the group of homesick,
seasick, shivering lamp posts, and he called out, “ Hallo!
come up here, whoever you are!”

The posts struggled across the sand of the island, very
much ashamed of themselves.

“Well, well,” said the tower, “‘you are a queer set of
little lighthouses, you are! Who are you, anyway ?”

The spokesman of the party told him their story, and
begged the lighthouse to give them oil, for their lamps
were almost famished. This the lighthouse did, for he
was a good old soul, and had been young himself. The
lamp posts drank the oil greedily, and they grew brighter.

While they were thus engaged there was a cry from
the tower. “Oh, heavens,” the lighthouse cried, “ some-
thing has happened to me; I can’t revolve! What shall
is THE LIVELY CllY O LIGG.

I do? There’s a man-o’-war due into the harbour, and
she'll go on the bar if she can’t see my light! There!
Look! There are her rockets, now! Heavens! what
shall 1 do?”

The lamp posts looked up, and there was a blue light
off by the bar, sure enough. They consulted together
hastily. Here was their time to retrieve their good name.
They would go out and save the man-o’-war! It would
be a dangerous venture, for the tide was running
swiftly ; but they could do no less than try.

They ran as fast as they could down to the beach op-
posite the bar, and, wading in boldly, carefully pushed
their way through the waves. At every step the water
grew deeper, and they feared that every moment some
billow would put out their lights and wash them off their
feet. But they kept on bravely, and at last the water
grew shallower, and they reached the buoy in the middle
of the bar, waist-deep in the rushing tide.

The buoy was ringing the bell with all her might.
“Good work!” she cried. ‘“ Now stand in a thick group
altogether, and the ship will see you.”

There they stood, the twenty-seven courageous lamp
posts, like a hollow square of soldiers, slanting this way

and that, as the waves broke over them, their flames ~

flaring and flashing in the gusts of wind, and the sand
THE LAZY LAMPPOSTS. 159

crawling under their feet. At last the tide turned, and it
was more comfortable.

“Boom!” went the gun from the man-o’-war.
“Thanks!”

The lighthouse, which had now fully recovered itself,
and was able to revolve, flashed convulsively, as if it were
sobbing with emotion and gratitude.

As soon as the ship had come to anchor, she sent a
launch out to the bar, and took the twenty-seven lamp
posts on board, proud and happy, but very wet and cold.

“Good-bye!” they cried to the bell-buoy.

‘‘Good-bye!” she replied, and nodded a farewell.

They were carried up to the City o’ Ligg in triumph,
by the very tug who had betrayed them, and were met by
the Mayor and populace with a brass band. They were
marched into the Park, opposite the Town Hall, where
they received a little lecture, but were forgiven for their
noble service, and sent back to Queer-street, where they
have behaved themselves perfectly, ever since.



THE BICYCLES PAMILY.
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GELETT BURGESS





he Thirseent



THe BICYCLE'S AMIN

Tue bicycles were, perhaps, the cleverest and best

educated members of the inorganic society of the City o’
Ligg. The bicycles looked down upon the tricycles, and,
in fact, upon all three and four-wheeled vehicles, and they
did not associate even with hansom cabs, who wore their
wheels side by side.

Mr. Diamond Frame was a leader in bicycle circles,
and was proud of his family and connections. He was
mechanically perfect, a very high-grade wheel, and his
father, Kangaroo, was one of the original Safeties, while,
on his mother’s side, he was descended from one of the
very best High Wheel Ordinaries, in the early days of
solid rubber tyres. From him, he traced his ancestry
back through the Boneshakers and the ee a for
an hundred years or more.
66 THE LiVEhyY Glivy ©. LiGG.

Mr. Diamond Frame, when quite young, married a
charming female Drop Frame cycle, a first-class wheel in
every respect. She was very beautiful, and wore, on her
wedding-day, a coat of white enamel, with full nickel
trimmings. _

After a year or so he became the father of the prettiest



of little tandem twins, a combination couplet, of which he
and the mother were both fond and proud. But their
next child was more of a trial, and very hard to manage
He grew up to be a very sporty machine, this little Dia-
WE ILO Cie Ss EF AME: 167

mond Frame—he was a handsome racing wheel, with
slender, light tubes, and a sprocket geared up to a fright-
ful speed. He “scorched” shockingly, and was brought
home broken or punctured almost every week. The
father and mother were much distressed about his be-
haviour, and dreaded to hear his bell ring after a long
trip, fearing he had come back with a fractured fork or a
broken crank.

But the little Drop Frame daughter, who was born
later, was her parents’ favourite. She was a beautiful
model, a modern chainless type, with narrow treads to
her tyres, and altogether an up-to-date, stylish machine.
Their hopes were set on an ambitious marriage for her,
for the Frames were rich, and able to give her a generous
dowry.

When the father mentioned the matter to her, how-
ever, he found that she had been indiscreet enough to
have formed an attachment for an unspeakably low-grade
wheel—a machine with no distinguished name-plate, and
who dressed in maroon-enamel and carried gear case,
spatter-flap, a long pump, and mud guards.

The son agreed with the father, that such a marriage
was impossible, and promised to do what he could to pre-
vent the match. He had begun to affect ram’s horn
handles and toe-clips, and sported a saddle of his own
168) 2 EE LV Beli Ca Va On i GG

invention, but he had altogether a stronger sprocket than
steering-head.

His style, however, soon interested a very aristocratic
young Motorcycle whom he met one day at a club run.
The electric wheel had just come from Paris, and had an
immense amount of manner. He was a second-hand ma-
chine, to be sure, but of foreign make, and a Motorcycle
at that ; surely here was the chance to marry off the little
Drop Frame with a fashionable wedding !

The Motorcycle, however, was expensive, and needed.
much inducement to agree. It took a long while to ar-
range the preliminaries, but old Diamond Frame finally
agreed to pay for all the repairs he needed. To their
astonishment, however, the silly little Drop Frame
daughter absolutely refused to leave her beloved third-
class wheel, who, she asserted, was worth two of: any
foreign machines ever imported.

Old Diamond Frame argued with her and lectured her
and implored her, but all to no purpose, and he had
about made up his mind that he would have to become
the father-in-law of a cheap domestic pattern, when an
unforeseen accident renewed his hopes for a more pleasant
match.

He was speeding with his daughter down Queer-street
at a fast clip one day when, suddenly, the Drop Frame’s
ite) Bhe YC UE oA EN 169

tyre collapsed, and she fainted away. She was taken
into a repair shop to be pumped up, but though she was
rubbed with graphite and given a good dose of oil, she
found she could not go, and the father decided to send
her to acyclery for awhile.

During her convalescence she was taken up to the
school for beginners, on the top floor, and there, to her
horror, she found her lover, disgracefully bobbing round
the rink, lurching into the padded walls and tumbling
over the floor, under the weight of a fat man, learning to
ride. To complete his degradation, the miserable ma-
chine was actually wearing a brake. A man’s bicycle
with a brake. How vulgar! How effeminate!

The sight was too much for the delicate little wheel,
and she swooned away, and had to be completely re-
paired. After her recovery she gave an unwilling con-
sent to being engaged to the Motorcycle, and the day for
the wedding was set.

But, as the time approached, her heart began to soften
toward the poor lover whom she had rejected, and she
often wondered if he were happy. She contrasted his
affectionate manner with the snobbery of the electric
machine whom she was, so soon, to call her husband.
He would not work half the time. It needed a very
large repair kit to satisfy his needs, and her father had
170. THE EIVELY City) O41 ee.

already begun to complain of the way he smoked and
the liquid fuel he required. But no word came from her
maroon-coloured lover, and she had given herself up as
lost, when a second accident changed her whole life.

She was out with her fancé, one evening, and had just
begun to descend a rather stiff hill, when her brake gave
way, and she lost all control of her pedals. “Help me!
~ Tm running away!” she shouted, in terror, to the Motor-
cycle, but he, fearing to trust his own life on such a steep
hill, refused to go after her. Faster and faster she flew
down the slope, and she saw the river ahead of her.
There seemed to be no way of escaping a violent death
when, with awhirr and a rattle, a maroon-enamelled ma-
chine shot after her at terrific speed. He charged up
to her and caught her handles, and then, setting his
brake with all his strength, he held her until the two
came to astop on the very edge of the river bank. It
was her faithful lover.

Old Diamond Frame was overcome with gratitude
when he heard of the magnificent bravery and devotion
of the hitherto despised machine, and, as he was indig-
nant with the miserable cowardice of the Motorcycle, as
well, he and his wife immediately gave their consent to
the marriage of their daughter to her rescuer as soon as
the previous engagement had been cancelled.
THE BICYCLES PAMIEY. Ak

The gallant bicycle was given a new coat of black
enamel, all his bearings were renewed, and his nickel
polished, so that on the day of the wedding the cycles

said they had never seen a more handsome bride and
groom.
a
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THE FLYING STABLE.
Rec MOO:

GELETT, BURGESS




Tue little red stable with the peaked roof which lived
on Sly-street, in the City o’ Ligg, was not very well liked

by its neighbours. There was a good deal of talk about
its greed and vanity, and it was the firm belief of all the

‘houses on the street that the stable devoured horses.

They saw two or three horses go into its great mouth of
a door, and they seldom saw any horses come out again.
They were very stupid houses, and they could not tell
one horse from another ; they did not notice that the same
three horses went into the stable every night, and they
could not see, of course, that the same horses came out
of the back door, safe and sound, every morning.

So when the little stable insisted upon having gas put
in, the houses grew very indignant.

“The idea!” said one of the oldest residences; “1
oO bh LIVELY Olly ©, LIGG.

have been built eighty-six years, and I never had gas in
my life! I think if oil is good enough for me, it is good
enough for a little whippersnapper of a stable! Who
ever heard of having gas in a stable, anyway?”

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But the stable had its own way, and it burnt gas every
night, so that its two little windows shone brightly and
winked mischievously at the scornful houses opposite till
they drew their shutters and slammed their doors in dis-

gust.




THe PLVING sTA BT EF 177

Now, the little boy named Yak was going through the
West-end of Ligg one night, and he came to Sly-street
and caught sight of the stable that was lit with gas. The
stable had a windmill: built on its roof, which it used for
pumping water, and this night being windy, the wheel was
flying round and round with a merry rattle and clank as
it pumped the water into the tank on the roof.

“Well, well,” said Yak, “you are the ’cutest stable I’ve
seen for a long time! You have all the modern con-
veniences, haven’t you ?”

“Yes,” said the red stable, turning still redder, “I flat-
ter myself that I am thoroughly up-to-date.”

‘He eats horses!” screamed the old ery house
across the street.

“Ts that true?” asked Yak.

The stable shut one window.

“T'll go inside and see,” said Yak,

“You'll never come out!” cried the three-story
house,

But Yak went in, just the same, and shut the door be-
hind him, and locked it, so the stable could not talk. It
was beautifully fitted up inside, and the three horses
seemed to be very happy. Yak decided to spend the
night there, and, not being used to gas, he blew out all
the lights, and lay down on the straw. The stable tried
Toe ite eV eel ve el iv OT L1G G.

its best to warn him of his danger from the escaping gas,
but, as its door was shut, it could only shake and tremble
so that Yak could not go to sleep. |

After awhile Yak began to sniff andcough. The place
smelt abominably as the gas began to fill up the lofts.
So Yak got up, and hearing the windmill whirling on the
roof, he climbed out of an upper window, closed it behind
him, and crawled over the eaves clear to the ridgepole.

Suddenly, feeling very ill, the stable began to sway and
lurch to and fro, rocking like a ship in the sea, and then,
as it became filled with gas, it slowly tore away from its
foundations and rose steadily in the air, like a balloon.
It tried and tried to scream, for the stable was more
frightened even than Vak himself, but it could not cry
aloud, because its door was shut. So it sailed up into
the sky, higher and higher.

Yak was a very valourous little boy, and after a while
he began to enjoy the flying trip on the stable. They
were borne steadily along towards the sea bya North
wind, and by daylight they were over the harbour, and he
could see the water miles below him. But how should
he ever get back? He had had no breakfast, and he
began to get very hungry.

The windmill, meanwhile, had stopped, as there was no
more water to pump, and Yak thought he might, by set-
THE FLYING STABLE. 179

ting the wheel going backwards, use it like a paddle wheel
and navigate his airship back towards the City o’ Ligg.
The plan worked very well, and ‘the stable headed north-
ward and flew along till it got over the town.

There were several balloons in the sky, who had come
from the mountains, where they lived, and these teased
Yak and the poor dumb flying stable unmercifully, for
the balloons were old enemies of the houses, and they
were convulsed with laughter to see the ridiculous strug-
gles of the stable floating high amongst the clouds. Two
or three kites also appeared and flew around Yak, offer-
ing him all kinds of advice, and one was good enough to
fetch him up a loaf of bread for his breakfast.

Now, two of the horses had been soon overcome by
the fumes of the gas, and had fallen so fast asleep that
they never woke up again, but one of them had been
sleeping near a crevice in the wall, and when he awakened,
feeling very queer and ill with the strange motions of the
stable, he broke loose and began to kick at the front door.
Finally he succeeded in breaking it open, and in that way
the stable was able to talk once more.

‘Oh dear! oh dear!” it cried, “what has happened ?
I never felt so bad in my life! Where am I?”

“You're up in the air,” said Yak. ‘Open your win-

dows and you'll see.”
oy THE LIVELY €lLYy © LiGG

“J don’t dare to,” said the stable. ‘I’m afraid of being
giddy, up so high !”

“You can’t be any giddier than you are now,” said
Yak.

And as that was true enough, the stable ventured to
open one window and look down. Immediately the gas
began to escape and the stable dropped through the air.

“Whoa!” cried Yak, frightened nearly off the ridge-
pole. ‘Don’t open your windows so wide, but just raise
one sash a little, and perhaps we shall get down safely,
after all.”

This the stable did, and they fell slowly towards the
roofs of the houses. When they were nearly down, Yak
cried out : “ Look at the houses all watching us! I say,
this is fun!”

At this remark the stable, which was a very pert and
vain little building, and fond of admiration, could not re-
sist the temptation to open both windows very wide, to
look down on the City o’ Ligg, and, as it did so, a sud-
den gust of wind swept them towards the church, and the
poor little stable, with so much gas escaping, dropped
with a downward rush right upon the sharp steeple of the
church and stuck there, pierced through floor, ceiling
and roof by the slender spire, impaled an hundred feet —
high above the street!
PHE PFEYING STABIVE. 181

As for Yak, he was again nearly thrown off the roof
by the sudden fall and shock, but after he found he could
go no further, he climbed into the stable through a win-
dow to see how he could escape. After hard work with
a pitchfork and rake, he succeeded in breaking a hole
through the wall of the steeple, inside the stable; and.
once within the spire, he had no trouble in getting down
into the belfry, and out through the church, safe as ever.

But forthe rest of its life the stable had to remain fixed
to the church spire, an object of derision to all the houses
of the City o’ Ligg; and inside its walls, too, the poor
horse had to stay, all zs life, being fed through the hole
in the spire, and getting so little exercise that he grew
fatter and fatter. For many years after that he could be
seen poking his nose from the window of the stable in
the air, gazing thoughtfully over the roofs of the City o’
Ligg, pitying the poor horses below, who had to work all

od!

day and had never seen the top of a house in their lives.



THE BLIND CAMERA.
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THE JBILIIN

THERE were many Cameras living in the Ligg Photo-
graphic Parlours, artists who looked down with scorn upon
all other machines, not only upon the manufacturing
or working members of the community, but upon such
aristocrats as the Bicycles and Balloons as well. The
musical instruments they recognised as artists, it is true,
but it was the Cameras’ opinion that most musical instru-
ments were a bit mad. Even the Very Grand Pianos
often got out of tune; and, besides, they were all totally
blind, from the Penny Whistles to the Church Organs.
The Cameras themselves were deaf and dumb, but they
never thought of that, as they had the best eyes of all
the objects in the City o’ Ligg, except the Telescopes,
and the Telescopes didn’t. count ; they were not artists—
they were merely elaborate tools. ;
i368 bHE LIVE DY Cli Yr OF LIGG..

All sorts of Cameras worked in the Photographic
Parlours. There were little Kodak and snap-shot affairs,
and hundreds of Tripod Cameras who could walk on
three legs; besides these, there were the big studio por-
trait Cameras mounted on wheels, who rolled majestically
around the rooms, wrapped in their robes of black velvet.
Some of these machines could take full-size pictures, and
used enormously expensive plates.

The most intelligent of them all, however, was a
medium-sized, or 6-inch by 8-inch, Tripod Camera. He
- did not have such expensive fittings as some of the others,
for he was not able to afford wide-angle lenses and iris
diaphragms, but he used rather quick plates, and his
shutter, though not of the latest pattern, gave a rapid,
clean exposure, and he could focus as sharply as many of
the big instruments. He wore asmall, yellow felt focus-
ing cap, and did a good deal of work—outside mostly—
for he knew the town well, and could gauge the amount
of light required to the sixteenth part of a second; in-
deed, he had taken very successful pictures in the rain.

It was the 6-inch by 8-inch Camera who took most of
the pictures illustrating these stories, so you can see for
yourself how clever he was.

Now, all Cameras, as is well known, see things upside
down on their ground-glass screen; to them, the whole
THE BLIND CAMERA. 189

world is topsy-turvy ; but they are so used to it that they
think it quite natural for carts to roll along with their
wheels in the air, and for things to fall wp instead of
down; they have never known anything different. If
you will stand on your head for a few minutes, or walk
round the room on your hands, you will get a very good
idea how the world seems to Cameras, except that it
doesn’t seem strange to them, and they never get dizzy
or top-heavy. )

One day, as the 6-inch by 8-inch was returning from
taking a picture of the Flying Stable, he dropped into a
shop on Queer-street, where he used to buy his chemicals,
and there he found for sale a new lens, the only one of
its kind ever manufactured, which, he was told, was quite
a curiosity. No one had been willing to buy it, for the
brass tube was so filled with prisms and reflectors that no
Camera cared to risk his eyesight by using such a new-
fangled thing. The 6-inch by 8-inch, however, was a
curious instrument, and fond of experiments, so he
bought the queer lens, and took it home.

He went directly into the dark room, took out his old
lens, and inserted the new one. Then he opened the
door and stepped out into the studio to tell the others
about it. As the light struck him, the Camera staggered
on his tripod, and fell—zp ¢o the cezling, as he thought—
igo THE yLIVERY €lriy OO; ELGG:

for the whole place seemed upside down! He sank ona
painted imitation balustrade, and put on his cap in terror,
not daring to look again. The other Cameras crowded
round him, offering him draughts of hypo, and imploring
him to tell them what was the matter.



The truth was that the combination of prisms inside
the new lens tube cast the image of the things it pointed
at upon the screen upright instead of inverted, as usual,
and the 6-inch by 8-inch had for the first time seen the
world right side up. It was a long time before he
recovered from his dizziness sufficiently to speak.

‘“‘T remember having heard that we Cameras see things
THE BLIND CAMERA. Igl

in a different way from other instruments,” said an old
wet-plate Camera, after the 6-inch by 8-inch had explained
his bewilderment ; ‘‘ but, of course, as we can see better
than any other machines, it must be that they see things
upside down. This new lens seems to reverse the image
in some way—but it’s no kind of a way for Cameras to
see at all—we can’t be expected to walk on the ceiling
like flies, can we? You'd better take the thing out, and
not try to stand on your head! Nobody can take pic-
tures upside down ; it isn’t natural !”

By this time the Tripod Camera had ventured to peep
out through the lens again, and he exclaimed, “ Why,
you're standing upside down yourself !”

‘“Nonsense,” said the old Portrait Camera, “you're
crazy!”

All the other Cameras were of the same opinion, when
the 6-inch by 8-inch rose to his three legs, and looked
round the room with great amusement. He promenaded
unsteadily up and down the studio, trying to get used to
the strange topsy-turviness, stumbling among the chairs
and furniture, like a sailor on a heaving deck. He did
not realise that he was in the same position as the others,
for he felt the floor beneath his feet, and he thought it a
great joke that all the Cameras clustered about him, and
even the little pocket Kodaks on the shelves were staz-
192 THE LIVELY Clty O07 LIG Ge.

ing at him upside down. After a while he got so he
could walk fairly well, and he went down the stairs very
carefully, and out into the street.

He thought it would be sport to take a picture of the
Old Church upside down. It would make a great scan-
dal in the City o’ Ligg, for the stone Church was highly
respected; in fact, the picture would undoubtedly be
suppressed.

The whole City seemed to him to be enchanted, or as
if he were in some crazy dream. The Camera was
nearly run down several times by Motor Cars running
past with their wheels in the air, and when he reached
the Church, the sight of that stately, respectable old
edifice, with its steeple pointed downward and its foun-
dations in the sky, was so funny that he could not keep
still for giggling. He chuckled as he focused his lens,
so that the Church and all the Houses seemed to writhe
and wriggle, too. Heshook with spasms of laughter as he
drew out his slide, and when he exposed his plate he was
gasping and trembling in the silliest fashion. It was no
use, it was too funny; he knew he had spoiled the
plate.

He tried a picture of a row of Houses, and found it as
hard to keep sober. So he stood on his head, and in
this undignified position he took another picture more
PEE BTN D © AME RA, 193

calmly, for then the Houses shown on his ground-glass
screen seemed, at last, right side up. But even then he.
couldn’t help going off into little convulsions of laughter,
every little while, at the thought of how absurd the ;
Church had appeared.

When he got back to the studio, and developed the
plates in the dark room, he found the pictures were the
-queerest he had ever printed. The perspective was all
wrong, the pictures were out of focus, the film had melted
and run, distorting the Houses so that they seemed made
of soft wax which had been left too long in the sun—but,
strange to say, they were still right side up, after all! He
could not understand it.

The next day, after a good night’s sleep, he got up,
and, forgetting all about the new lens, he started to walk
across the studio without noticing. When, however, he
did really look around, he saw the room was upside
down again, and again he was so terrified at the bewilder-
ing sight that he lost his balance and fell, hitting the end
of the lens tube with terrific force, smashing all the prisms
and lenses into little pieces.

When he at last revived, after having been taken to
the dark room, the Cameras found that the poor 6-inch by
8-inch was totally blind. They put lens after lens into
his eye tube, but though he could sometimes see well
toa Din EVEN Cl PY O eu TG Ge

enough to be able to crawl around the room in the sun-
light, he was never able to print any more pictures.

Of. course he tried, continually, exposing plate after
plate in hopes he might be able to print some sort of a
picture, but though he tried salt prints and silver prints,
gold,and platinum prints, blue prints and bromides, there
was never anything but a blur on the paper, for his nega- »
tives were almost opaque, as if they had been painted
with varnish. And so, disappointed and miserable, he

pined away.

~The other Cameras in the Ligg Photographic Parlours
were very sorry for the poor 6-inch by 8-inch, not only be-
cause he was blind, but because they all considered him
crazy. The Tripod Camera was all the time talking
about what he called his “revelation,” or the strange
idea of the world the mysterious lens had given him. It
was his firm idea that the Cameras all saw things wrongly,
and that what ¢hey would call upside down was really
right side up, and that things really fell dowx instead of
up. But the Cameras only laughed to each other when
the 6-inch by 8-inch talked like this, and said, when he
had gone, “ Poor thing! that fall cracked him badly!”

But the fall had, indeed, affected him more than they
thought, for, after he was found one winter morning, still
and cold, at the window, looking for the rising sun, and
THE BLIND CAMERA. 195

they knew that he would never crawl around on his three
legs any more, or try and take his hopeless little prints,
they came acrossa pile of negatives of his in a dark room.
No one knew that he had taken so many pictures, and the
Cameras were about to throw the meaningless, opaque
sheets of glass into the dustbin, sadly, at the thought of
the poor Camera’s pathetic struggles to see, when sud-
denly the oldest studio Portrait Camera, the old wet-
plate machine, caught a glimpse of something on one of
the negatives.

“Look! look!” he cried, in great excitement, and he
pointed to a negative that stood slantwise on the shelf,
As the light struck it obliquely, and was reflected from
its film, there appeared on the surface of the plate the
most wonderful picture the Cameras had ever seen,
When the plate was viewed directly, it was nothing but a
dull, colourless sheet of film, but, looking in this slanting
way, in the reflected light, it was a perfect picture, in all
the true colours of nature! The sky showed blue, the
trees were green, the flowers were red and yellow! The
_ poor 6-inch by 8-inch Camera had taken better pictures
than he ever knew.

The negatives were all saved, and put in a picture
gallery, where they were exhibited as the most wonderful
curiosities of the City o’ Ligg. From time to time,
roo PHE LIVELY CitY © L1GG,

stereopticon shows were given, and the marvellously
beautiful views thrown on the screen were the delight of
all the inhabitants. As time went on the fame of the 6-
inch by 8-inch Camera grew and grew, and now he is
universally acknowledged to have been the most talented
artist that Ligg has ever produced, and his genius is
spoken of with immense pride.

But, in spite of that, the Cameras still believe, and
probably always will believe, that the 6-inch by 8-inch
was crazy, because he always insisted that upside down
was right side up !
THE BUMPTIOUS BRIDGE.







Chapier Siavecn






mn cr

THLE BUMP TOUS SRD GIE

THERE were three bridges over the river Wob: the
funny tubular girder, which confined the bothersome brig,
the stone arches near the batteries, and the suspension-
bridge, above the city. The last was the most disagree-
able of them all; finally, it went altogether too far, and
got itself into trouble.

It was not a good, honest suspension-bridge, hung
from wire cables, as a suspension-bridge rightly should
be, but it was supported by iron rods and straps, almost
like a girder or atruss. Its floor rose in a long curve,
almost like an arch; altogether it was a mixture of styles,
a mongrel bridge with a beastly temper—no one thought
it was safe, |

It had four great cast-iron towers, which rested on con-
crete piers in the river, and the ends of its suspenders, as
the jointed rods which were stretched over the towers
no) THE elLV EY Clu Y sO LITE G,

might be called, were anchored to masonry abutments,
over which were built little wooden pavilions. What
-made the bridge more dangerous was that it had no_
sway-bracing, so that it trembled and shook in the wind,
like a camel catching a cold, and more than one electric
car had been thrown off the track by the vibration, while
crossing the river on the suspension bridge.

The bridge was always a growler and a grumbler, but,
when the ferry line was established, plying across the
river from the City o’ Ligg to the Highland side, the
Suspension was almost unbearable.

“ Ain't I good enough to take you across?” he com-
plained. ‘What's the use of going by water when you
can go by land?” But as he charged two cents toll, and
the ferry-boats carried passengers for one cent, nearly
every one took the steamers, who puffed across the river
"all day long, going and coming beneath the very floor
of the bridge, smothering it in smoke.

One Saturday, the bridge, who had had hardly a pas-
senger crossing for a week, resolved not to stand it any
longer. “If they don’t want to use me any more,” he
said, “I’ll be hanged to my towers if I'll stay here any
longer for them to laugh at!” So he pulled, angrily,
with all his might, on his rods and straps and hangers
and braces, till it seemed as if he were going to pull up
THE BUMPTIOUS BRIDGE. 203

his anchorage by the roots. Instead of that, however, he
broke his suspenders off short, on the Highland side, and
the jerk, when the rods snapped, threw him over, upside
down, splashing and sprawling in the middle of the River
Wob, to the terror of the ferry-boats who were passing.
He struggled wildly for a while, in the water, his concrete
piers in the air, and his cast-iron towers wobbling like a
baby’s legs under him, all his tension members, that were
built to resist pulling, being compressed and bent out of
shape, and all his compression members, that were built
to resist pushing and pressing, being pulled at unmerci-
fully. It was very painful in this unaccustomed position,
but the bridge managed at last to crawl along up to the
bank on the City o’ Ligg side, till his two front tower-
legs climbed upon the track of the Railway. Here he
stood a while, resting, his two rear towers still in the
deepest part of the River Wob.

There was a big semaphore across the railway, at that
point, and it cried to the bridge, ‘What ’O! get off the
track!” and it held up all its arms to warn the trains
not to pass.

“I’m going to stay right here!” said the Bumptious
Bridge ; “if the trains don’t want to go over me, they can
go round me!” and it chuckled to itself, to find how
easily it would get its revenge.
2044 THE LIVELY CITY O’ LIGG.

Pretty soon a train appeared, far down the track,
whistling and roaring. When it saw the semaphore warn-
ing it to stop, it slowed up and came on slowly, stopping
in front of the bridge tower that prevented its passing.
The engine, which was of English make, pushed its buf-
fers against the tower with all its strength, but it couldn’t
budge the bridge. The engine grew more and more
angry, butting and bellowing with great fury, but it was
no use. It could not pass the obstruction that way.

Soon another whistle was heard, and another train
came flying down the line, from the other direction. It
was the Ligg Fast Mail. When it saw the semaphore
waving its arms, it slowed up, too, and came cautiously
along till it reached the bridge. ‘“ What’O! What's
the matter?” it cried. .

The bridge didn’t even trouble itself to answer ques-
tions. There it was, and there it was going to stay.
But the Mail Train was in a hurry; it would never do to
be interfered with in this fashion.

Now the Mail Train was of American manufacture, with
a big locomotive, and cars with platforms and doors in
the ends, in the American style. The engine had huge,
high boilers, and its piston and steam chest were outside ;
it had a big smokestack with a wood-burning funnel, a
cowcatcher, and all that sort of thing. It was built for
THE BUMPTIOUS BRIDGE. 205

steep grades and sharp curves, and it could do a mile a
minute, easily. It did not propose to be stopped by a
mongrel suspension-bridge with cast-iron towers, ieee
were upside down on the line. 3

So the Mail Train backed up the line about a mile, and
then the locomotive opened its throttle and tore down
the track at full speed. When it got near the towers,
the train gave a TREMENDOUS leap into the air, and hur-
dled the bridge as. prettily as a hunting horse takes a
five-barred gate, and came gracefully down upon the
track on the other side, exactly on the rails, and then,
without so much as stopping to say good-bye, that Fast
Mail tore down the track for the City o’ Ligg, to make
up for lost time.

The English train felt rather cheap, after this perform-
ance, and it backed down the line for a half a mile, while
the bridge was laughing. Finally it came to a little coal-
crane, on a wharf beside the river. The crane was very
sympathetic, and offered its services. “T think I might
throw your carriages into the river, one by one,” it said.
“ They’re little ones, and not so heavy, and they'd float
down stream, and no doubt help would be sent, when
they were seen.’ ;

As there seemed to be no other way out of the dilemma,
the Locomotive reluctantly consented to allow the exper-
200 (PTE EINE LY. Clty OO LIGG,

iment to be tried. The crane picked up the carriages,
one by one, grabbing them by their ventilators, then
swung itself round on its pivot and tossed them into the
river. They floated off, in a bobbling procession, down



stream, and, just as the guard’s van dropped into the
water, a torpedo boat came snuffling up the river, in a
great hurry.

“What's all this?” he said, excitedly. “I thought
these were some new kind of destroyers coming down to
Tn es BU We lO US BRT DiG E207

attack the City o’ Ligg, for sure! Lucky for those third-
class carriages that I made out their numbers in time. I
was just going to pepper them with my rapid-fire guns !”

The torpedo boat seemed to be much disappointed that
there was no enemy to be fought, after all, but when it
heard about the suspension-bridge, and how it had
blocked the traffic on the road, it brightened up a bit.
“T’'ll settle him!” it said, and it shoved a Whitehead tor-
pedo, full of clock-work and dynamite, into its tube, and
puffed gaily up stream.

The Locomotive followed it up the line, cautiously, but
all the crane was able to see of what happened was a
huge puff of white smoke and spray, and a scattering of
little rods, straps and braces, like a handful of jackstraws
tossed into the air. But next day the Locomotive came
back to thank the crane, and told it that there was to be
a new bridge built at the same place, a wrought-iron
cantilever drawbridge of the latest design, and that they
hadn’t found enough of the old suspension-bridge to use
for fish-line sinkers.

But, somehow, the English locomotive never seemed
to be very friendly with the American Fast Mail, after
that ! ;
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THE ECCENTRIC LOOM.
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Ir was very evident that oom No. 7 was crazy. All
the other weaving machines in the mill laughed at her,
and yet they were a bit afraid of her, too. She workeda
deal more swiftly and noiselessly than they, and she
never seemed to get tired and never broke down.

All the other looms followed the fashions very care-
fully. If stripes were in style, they wove stripes, or if
the latest mode demanded plaids, or checks, or pin
points, or polka dots, they all worked busily at these
patterns—all, that is, except No. 7.

No one had ever seen before such queer patterns as
the crazy loom wove. Her designs seemed absolutely
meaningless to the other machines. They had never
seen such hideous combinations of colour, they said, for
they used the regular blues and browns and reds, while
4 THE LIVED ve Cl. % OF biG G.

No. 7 filled her bobbins with all sorts of unheard-of
hues. Such monotonous, crude tints they were, in the
opinion of the other machines, that they wondered she
was allowed steam power at all—surely, she was only
wasting good material.

But Loom No. 7 paid no attention whatever to her
associates, and threw her shuttles back and forth all day,
often keeping on through the lunch hour, while the other
looms were being oiled and cleaned. Shealways seemed
to be intensely interested in her work, too, and rattled
and clicked away to herself and never talked to the
others. As she rumbled steadily along, the wide roll of
fabric she was weaving grew fatter and fatter, and when
she stopped to put in a bobbin of salmon or olive-green
into her warp or woof, she would look carefully at the
mysterious pattern on her tapestry, as if it really meant
something to her, and she seemed to know perfectly
whether or’ not she had dropped a stitch or broken a
thread. Then she would rattle all over and hurry on,
bangy-ty-bang, thumpy-ty-thump, as if she were afraid she
wouldn’t last long enough to finish the piece.

Now at the end of each month the foreman came
around to collect and carry away the finished pieces of
cloth from the looms, and on the very day that No. 7
completed her roll of tapestry, he came into the mill-
THE ECCENTRIC LOOM. 215

sheds with the Mayor of the City o’ Ligg and the little
boy named Yak. The Mayor had just built himself a
new house, and he had come to select stuff with which to
furnish it, and Yak had come to help him in his choice.

So they went with the foreman of the mill from one
loom to another inspecting the different patterns. ‘These
are all alike,” said Yak. ‘Can’t you show us something
new and interesting ?”

‘Well, no,” said the foreman. “We mostly follow
the prevailing styles in this mill, and all the patterns are
pretty much alike. But come over this way, I'll show
you something queer!” He led them over to No. 7,
and the Mayor and Yak looked curiously at the roll of
tapestry.

The Mayor laughed. ‘That zs a crazy design, isn’t
it?” he said. ‘I don’t see how you can afford to keep
a loom running on this insane tapestry. You'll never be
able to sell this stuff !”

The foreman scratched his head, and said, thought-
fully, ‘No, I suppose not—and yet, I dunno! It seems
to me that the loom is either crazy, as you say, or else it
is a mighty clever machine ; altogether too clever for me.
I confess I can’t understand it at all, and that’s the reason
why I have an idea it must be something wonderful.

What d’you think, Yak ?”
216 THE LIVELY CliLy 0) LIGG,

Yak was silently examining the design, very carefully,
and said nothing for some time. Finally he said to the
foreman :

“You send this roll of tapestry up to the Mayor’s
house, and let me study it out, and I'll let you know ina
day or so what I think.”

The Mayor was surprised at this, for he was quite sure



he would never want such a jumbled, unfinished thing in
his house, but he had a great deal of faith in little Yak,
and he made no objection. So the roll of tapestry was
taken away, to the consternation of all the other looms,
who whispered to each other, “I say, No. 7 may not be
THE ECCENTRIC LOOM. 217

such a fool as we thought, after all! I always thought
she was pretty deep. She’s a ’cute one, that No. 7!”

In two days Yak sent for the Mayor and the foreman.
He had been cutting up’ the tapestry, and had it all
spread. out on a bare floor in the new dining-room, and,
to the surprise of the two men, they saw that, in the
way Yak had pieced it together, as it should go on the
walls of the room, the whole sheet of tapestry formed a
beautiful and elaborate design of great vigour and origi-
nality, and that the juxtaposition of colours formed a
fresh and charming scheme of decoration that delighted
them both. None of this had been noticeable in the
narrow strips woven by the crazy loom, but many of
them, placed side by side and properly matched, made a
single dignified and interesting design, appropriate for
the decoration of such an apartment as the dining-room
of the Mayor of the City o’ Ligg.

When the foreman went back to the mill, he oiled up
No. 7 very carefully, and filled her bobbins with the
most expensive silk skeins, tissues of gold and silver, and
threads dyed with the rarest hues; he had all her parts
rubbed, cleaned and polished, so that she shone like an
Empress upon her throne.

The other looms were jealous and envious at this, yet
they did not hesitate to imitate No. 7 as best they could.
BS TIE LIVELY CITY O° Lice,

If it-were the fashion to be crazy, and weave mad patterns
of no possible meaning or form, why then they would not
bother to follow their cards, but would throw their shuttles
across haphazard. So that month the looms in the mill
had a gay time, bouncing along carelessly, joking, and
misbehaving themselves generally. They never troubled
to stop if a thread broke or knotted, for what difference
did it make? If No. 7 could go on as she pleased,
without rule or reason, making up her pattern as she
went along, why shouldn't they? If it were the clever
thing to be incomprehensible, they could weave nonsense
as well as she, and so they went on with their foolish and
ridiculous work for a month.

' When the foreman came around next time, however,
to inspect the work of the looms, and saw the absurd,
nonsensical botches upon which the silly machines had
wasted their materials, he grew very angry. The stuff
was not good enough even for sacking, for it was weakly
woven, full of holes and knots and loops, besides being
‘of such barbarous patterns that it made his eyes ache to
look at the rolls of fabric. He ordered the looms to be
stripped of their silks and woolen threads and had all
their bobbins filled with rough hemp and jute of a horri-
ble dirt colour, and set them to work on the coarsest
bagging. But the roll from No. 7,,who had worked
THE ECCENTRIC LOOM. 210)

patiently and carefully all the month, he had wrapped
carefully and packed in tinfoil and sent, in a solid mahog-
any case, to the International Industrial Exposition of
the year.

The looms could never understand it, and they hated
No. 7 more than ever. But No. 7 kept on quietly, with-
out condescending to answer their sneers and ridicule.
She could have explained the whole thing, if she had
cared, perhaps, but she had no time to talk.































The GOOP BOOKS by Gelett Burges

WHY BE A GOOP?

In this latest of the popular and now classic.
Goop books, Gelett Burgess gives painless treat-.
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faults, administered with a sugar-coating of),
humor. Mr. Burgess contrives, in the little .
stories about his grotesque pictures, to snplameet ‘
many hints to Parents as to original methods for —
correcting the faults he describes and dramatizes.”
76 illustrations.

GOOPS, AND HOW TO BE THEM |

The first of the now famous Goop books. an
Catchy and easily learned rhymes that impress’”
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The book’s 88 rules of deportment teach simi
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The goops individualized in 52 separate pets i
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Here are 288 goops, fully described. CSOs
tales are funny and true and easy to ie WM
Over 250 illustrations. a


The Cloverfield Farm Books

By HELEN FULLER ORTON
LS eS ESA

Did you ever stop to think how many modern children
aré deprived entirely of the joys that every child was heir to
not so many years ago—that there are thousands upon thou-
sands of children today who have never gone coasting nor
owned a sled; never gathered nuts from a tree; never had a
sleigh-ride; never touched a rabbit; never even seen a live pig?



Nothing can quite make up to a child for these losses,
but Helen Fuller Orton’s ‘Cloverfield Farm’ stories give so
vividly the facts and the feel of real country life that they are
the next best thing to real experience to give to children.

PRINCE AND ROVER OF CLOVERFIELD FARM } i




i BOBBY OF CLOVERFIELD FARM
\ SUMMER AT CLOVERFIELD FARM
\ WINTER AT CLOVERFIELD FARM

““Summer at Cloverfield Farm’ is told in a fashion to enchant the tiny
reader . . . The numerous pictures are of the kind to add immeasurably
to the joy of the child.’,—Washington Herald.

““Prince and Rover of Cloverfield Farm’ sounds true. The horse
andi tritdog are real animals who do ordinary things in an interesting way,
rather a feat in these days.”— New York Evening Post.

ay
iy

Each volume, $1.00; boxed, as a set, 4 volumes, $4.00.


2345027


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