Citation
The Little panjandrum's dodo

Material Information

Title:
The Little panjandrum's dodo
Creator:
Farrow, G. E ( George Edward ), b. 1866 ( Author, Primary )
Wright, Allan ( Illustrator )
Frederick A. Stokes Company ( Publisher )
Curtis & Beamish, Ltd ( Printer )
Place of Publication:
New York
Publisher:
Frederick A. Stokes Company
Manufacturer:
Curtis & Beamish, Ltd.
Publication Date:
Language:
English
Physical Description:
viii, 210 p., 1 leaf of plates : ill. ; 20 cm.

Subjects

Subjects / Keywords:
Wit and humor, Juvenile ( lcsh )
Dodo -- Juvenile fiction ( lcsh )
Voyages and travels -- Juvenile fiction ( lcsh )
Brothers and sisters -- Juvenile fiction ( lcsh )
Kings and rulers -- Juvenile fiction ( lcsh )
Juvenile fiction -- London (England) ( lcsh )
Fantasy literature -- 1899 ( rbgenr )
Nonsense verse -- 1899 ( rbgenr )
Baldwin -- 1899
Genre:
Fantasy literature ( rbgenr )
Nonsense verse ( rbgenr )
novel ( marcgt )
Spatial Coverage:
United States -- New York -- New York
England -- Coventry
Target Audience:
juvenile ( marctarget )

Notes

Statement of Responsibility:
by G.E. Farrow ; illustrated by Allan Wright.

Record Information

Source Institution:
University of Florida
Rights Management:
This item is presumed to be in the public domain. The University of Florida George A. Smathers Libraries respect the intellectual property rights of others and do not claim any copyright interest in this item. Users of this work have responsibility for determining copyright status prior to reusing, publishing or reproducing this item for purposes other than what is allowed by fair use or other copyright exemptions. Any reuse of this item in excess of fair use or other copyright exemptions may require permission of the copyright holder. The Smathers Libraries would like to learn more about this item and invite individuals or organizations to contact The Department of Special and Area Studies Collections (special@uflib.ufl.edu) with any additional information they can provide.
Resource Identifier:
026687320 ( ALEPH )
ALG6359 ( NOTIS )
269362406 ( OCLC )

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Full Text






The Baldwin Library

Rm B University









Che Bitte |
— Panjandeum’s Bodo.





ee rage
yy Neen Co. a gow

Lf Oo



Gee

a vn



“ HOPE YOU’RE FEELING BETTER, SIR.”



TSE ILO

CANJANDRUM’S DODO.

BY
G. E. FARROW,
Author of ‘THE WaLiypuG oF Way,” ‘‘' THE MissiING PRINCE,”

‘C ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUG-LAND,” ETC., ETC.

Illustrated by
ALLAN WRIGHT.

NEW YORK:
FREDERICK A. STOKES COMPANY,
5 anD 7, EAST 16TH STREET.

1899.





To my Dear LITTLE FRIENDS.

Here is another book! I hope it will be as fortunate in pleasing
you, as the others seem to have been, if I may judge from the many kind
and gratifying letters which have reached me from boys and gicls, of
all ages and sizes, and from all parts of the world.

And in connection with these letters, which I always try (though
the pleasurable task grows heavier year by year) to answer myself, I
have had the misfortune to lose a large packet of unanswered ones; so
if any of my little correspondents have written to me during the past
year, and have not received a reply, will he or she write to me again,
and give me an opportunity of repairing the omission ?

Iam getting quite proud of my gallery of photographs, which my little
friends have sent me, and which, I think, please me almost more than
anything else, if I may except a beautiful Persian kitten which has
come as a present from a little girl at Hereford, and which is a prime
favourite with everyone here, including Dick, my little terrier, who—
although he ought to know better at his age, being over eight—“ galumphs”

about in an absurdly clumsy manner, under the mistaken impression that



vi.
he is playing with it. He only succeeds, however, in making himself
ridiculous in the eyes of the kitten, who, despite his years, treats him with
little or no respect, and does not hesitate to box his ears, and bite his tail
whenever it feels so disposed.

But I see my space is nearly exhausted, so must conclude, with very best
wishes, and hoping to hear again from all of my old friends, and as many
new ones as care to write.

Believe me,

Your affectionate friend,

THE AUTHOR.





CHAP.

Il.

III.

IV.

VI.

VIl.

VIIl.

IX.

XI.

XI,





Contents.

PAGE

THE BEGINNING OF A MARVELLOUS JOURNEY I

THE AMBASSADOR EXTRAORDINARY _... oo 9
THE SAGE IN THE ONION FIELD nn eed :
STORIES AND TAILS BY THE SAGE ... Pea
THE KING OF THE FISHES aes ae ERS
IN THE KING’S PRESENCE aes 500 her e460
THE HUMAN RACE Ree es =: eee 53
THE DODO AT LAST ves a8 cs fos O2)
AT THE NORTH POLE ... Se cal Sage
SOME NEW ACQUAINTANCES _... a 1h 80
THE SKIPPER OF THE ‘ARGONAUT” ... OS

THE ARCHAZOPTERYX wa ae ve eee 0



CHAP.
XIII.

XIV.

XV.

XVI.

XVII.

XVIII.

XIX.

XX.

XXI.

XXII.

XXIII.

XXIV.

XXV.

AXXVI.

viii.
THE LITTLE PANJANDRUM’S BALLOON
THE DUFF AND DEM EXECUTIONER ...
THE EXECUTION OF THE DODO
THE PREHISTORIC DOCTOR
WAITING FOR THE TRAIN
A NIGHT IN THE TRAIN
AT THE CRYSTAL PALACE
A DIFFICULTY WITH THE ROUNDABOUT
THE LITTLE PANJANDRUM AT LAST ...
TURNED TO STONE
THE DODO’S LITTLE RUSE
FIRST CLASS TO LONDON
THE DODO OBLIGES WITH A SONG

THE DODO DEPARTS



PAGE

105
113
I2I

129

143
152
160

168

183

Igo

205





CHAPTER I.

The Beginning of a Marvellous Zourney.

SqiICK! Dick! Wake up, I want to tell you some-



thing.” Marjorie stood outside the boys’ bedroom
door, and called in as loud a whisper as she dared,
fearing lest she should awaken the rest of the household.
There was a scuffle and a patter of bare feet inside, and Dick
appeared at the door rubbing his eyes, evidently only half
awake.

** What’s up?” he demanded.

“Hush! don’t make a noise. There’s such a funny sound
downstairs—I believe it’s burglars. Listen !”’

“Pooh! this time in the morning. What nonsense.”

“* Well, it’s been going on for ever so long, anyhow, and hark,

A



2 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



there’s something keeps banging about like anything in the
breakfast-room.”

Dick ran to the top of the stairs and listened. Sure enough,
there was a most mysterious noise going on below,—a dull
banging at regular intervals, and a curious lapping sound, as
though there was water in the lower part of the house.

“ Let’s go and see what’s up!” said Dick, promptly.

“ Me, too,” said a shrill treble voice, and a little curly-headed
apparition came running out of the bedroom, flourishing a
wooden spade.

“No! you cut along into bed again, Fidge,” cried Dick.

‘Want to go and see the bur-ge-lers!” declared Fidge,
pushing past them, and racing down the stairs.

“Come back, you scamp,” cried Dick, running after him ; but
witha saucy and defiant laugh Fidge sped down tothe first landing.

“Ooh!” he cried, looking over the banisters, ‘It’s all
drownded ; look, Dick! quick!”

Dick and Marjorie hurried down and leaned over the
banisters too.

* Hullo! what a lark!’ exclaimed Dick. ‘‘ There’s been a
high tide, and the house is flooded. Come on, this is ripping!”
and the boy dashed down stairs, followed by the others.

The breakfast-room door stood open, and, wading ankle
deep in water, the children soon reached it. An extraordinary
sight met their eyes.

The French windows were open, and the curtains were
blowing about in the breeze, while the sea had risen so high
that the white-capped waves were flowing quite into the room,



The Beginning of a Marvellous Journey. i 3



Ve

in which the utmost confusion prevailed. Chairs and various
light articles were strewn about in all directions, and the table,
by some mysterious. process, had been turned completely over,
and was floating about with its legs sticking up in the air.
It was evi-
dently the
noise which “|
that had4 LS z
made, dash- |
ing against
the door,
which had
awakened
Marjorie.
The chil-
dren stood

silently _re-



garding it for
a moment,
and then
Fidge, with a
delighted ex-

clamation



‘THE WAVES WERE FLOWING INTO THE ROOM.”

cried, “I want a ride in the boat,” and began to scramble into
the overturned table.

“Oh! yes, jolly!” cried Dick, following his example; and
in a moment all three children were comfortably ensconced in
the novel craft.



4 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



Dick found a stick floating about, which he used as a punting
pole, and soon had the table through the window and out into
the garden.

“ll be captain,” he cried, ‘‘and you and Fidge shall be
passengers, Sis.” The drawer of the table turned upside down
made a capital upper deck, and Marjorie settled herself very
comfortably upon it, after Dick had rigged up what he was
pleased to call an awning with a little table cloth, and a piece
of string which he had discovered in the pocket of his pyjamas.

Fidge, however, had no idea of remaining inactive, and
insisted upon taking a part in the management of the craft,
and so Dick made him the ‘‘ Bosun,” and set him to work
rowing with his little wooden spade.

Out in the garden the water became deeper, and Captain
Dick’s pole would not reach the bottom; still, owing to some
mysterious influence, their curious boat drifted merrily on, and
the children did not puzzle themselves in the least as to the
cause of their progress. It was quite enough for them to notice
how strange and unnatural the gardens and all the familiar
surroundings appeared in their present inundated state. The
rose-bushes and hedges looked so funny, growing out of the
water, and there were such a lot of curious things floating
about—a hen-coop, a wash-tub, and an old hamper had hurried
past; and their boat had drifted as far as the gate leading
out into the roadway, when Marjorie jumped up and pointed
excitedly to something floating rapidly towards them.

“Look! Dick, look! there’s an old turkey on a chair coming

along.”



The Beginning of a Marvellous Journey. 5



As the object drew nearer, however, they could see that it
was not a turkey, or, indeed, any bird with which they were
familiar, but a most curious looking creature. It had-an oddly-
shaped beak, webbed feet, and a funny great tuft of feathers for
a tail.

““ Why, the thing has gloves on!” cried Captain Dick.

“And a blue bow around its neck,” chimed in Fidge, his
eyes dancing with excitement.

“Ship ahoy!’’ shouted the bird, as it came close up to
the table.

‘Good gracious! Why it can talk,” said Marjorie.

“Talk! Of course I can,” answered the bird. ‘“‘ Why
not, pray?” .

“Well, birds don’t generally talk, except parrots,” added
Marjorie, as an afterthought.

“Parrots!” exclaimed the bird, stamping furiously on the
seat of the chair; ‘‘I hate ’em—nasty, showy, pretentious, ill-
bred creatures; regular shrieking hypocrites, that’s what I
call ’em.”

‘“‘ What sort of a bird are you, then?” asked Dick.

“I’m a Dodo,” said the creature, with a consequential air.

“Oh! then you are extinct,” said Dick. ‘I read it in a
natural history book.”

“Yes, I am,” admitted the Dodo. “It’s lovely being
extinct,” he added, complacently. ‘‘ Have you ever tried it?”

‘Good gracious, no,” cried Dick.

“What does it mean, Dick, dear?’ whispered Marjorie, who
didn’t like to appear ignorant.



6 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



‘Gone out, I think,” explained Dick. ‘‘ Anyhow, they say
a volcano is extinct when it has gone out.”

“Yes, that’s quite right,” explained the Dodo, with a wink.
‘* Haven’t you ever heard the vulgar expression, ‘ Does your
mother know you're out?’ Well, where I come from, we just
say, ‘Is your maternal relative aware of your extinction?’
instead. It’s the same thing, you know, and sounds ever so
much better. Then, again, it’s most convenient, if anyone
calls whom you don’t wish to see, just to tell the servant to say
that you are extinct, and there is an end of the matter. But I
mustn’t stop here all day, I must be off to sea.”

** Are you going to sea on that chair ?”’ cried Marjorie.

“ Well, it’s as good asa table anyhow, as far as I can see,”
laughed the Dodo. “Yes, I’ve an appointment with an
Ichthyosaurus at the Equator at noon, so I must be off. Good-
bye. Oh! while I think of it, though, if you do come across
him, you might give him my love, and tell him that I’m
extinct, will you please? Ha—ha—he will be amused!”

“Who do you mean?” called out Dick, as the Dodo floated
away on his chair.

‘‘The little Panjandrum,” was the reply; ‘“‘ you are pretty
sure to meet him sooner or later.”

“‘ Oh, we’re going to see the Pan—jan—de—lum,” announced
Fidge, capering about in glee. ‘‘ Hooray!”

In the meantime the table had drifted on till the house was
quite out of sight, and had reached the base of the cliffs,
where the smugglers’ cave was. The children had been there

ever so many times before, and knew of a little gap in the



The Beginning of a Marvellous Journey. 7



rocks where, if only their boat would drift near enough, they
could land, and clamber up to the roadway again. The boat,
however, passed the gap, and
drifted straight underneath
the cave, from whence came
a confused babel of sounds.

The children looked up,
and a moment afterwards a
crowd of the funniest little
people imaginable came: to
the edge and peered over.

“What rum little beg-
pars \eried Dick. “Just
look at their eyes!”

‘““T do believe they are
Brownies, or else Gnomes!”
declared Marjorie, who had
read a great many fairy
stories.

“Nonsense! *’ said Dick,
with a superior air; “there
areno such things nowadays.”

‘Who says so?” shrieked
the little people from the

cave. ‘‘Come up here, and



we'll soon show you.”
“Oh, yes, do!’ cried
Marjorie, clapping her hands

''4 ROPE LADDER WAS LET DOWN.”

“IT should love to see them.”



8 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



‘“‘T don’t see how we are going to get up there,” said Dick,
dubiously ; ‘‘ we haven’t got a ladder.”’

‘‘We have one,” shouted the little people. ‘‘ Shall we let
it down?”

‘‘Oh, yes, please,” clamoured Marjorie, and immediately
afterwards a rope ladder was let down, and one or two of the
little men hung over the ledge to steady it.

“Come along,” cried Marjorie, leading the way, while Fidge
followed next, repeating over and over, with a delighted
chuckle, ‘‘ We are going to see the Pan—jan—de—lum! We

are going to see the Pan—jan—de—lum !”’











CHAPTER II.

Tbe Ambassador Extraordinary.

FAY) the top of the ladder the children found themselves

in the midst of a crowd of curious little pigmies,



dressed in all sorts of quaint and fantastic costumes.

They were the oddest little creatures that you can possibly
imagine, with eyes and ears that seemed to be too big for their
heads, and tiny little spindle legs that looked quite incapable of
supporting their big bodies.

They spoke in a shrill, clear, bell-like voice, which, although
they were such tiny creatures, could be heard distinctly.

“So you don’t believe in fairies, eh! ” they cried, clustering
about the children.

“IT do,” declared Marjorie, stoutly.

‘Yes, and me do, too,” said Fidge, looking about him
delightedly.

“But,” objected Dick, “I’ve always been told that fairies,



10 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



and elves, and gnomes, and things of that sort were merely
myths, and existed only in the imagination of story-tellers.”’

‘““He—he—he,” giggled the little people. ‘The same old
story. They told you that to hide their ignorance, my
child.”

“I’m thirteen years old,” declared Dick, haughtily, for he
did not at all approve of being called a child.

‘““Oh, are you indeed!” was the reply, amid shouts of
laughter. ‘I suppose you think yourself quite a man, and are
consequently too old to believe in the fairies, who are more
than thirteen thousand years old.”

“You know you used to believe in them, Dick,” interposed
Marjorie. ‘‘Don’t you remember how we used to enjoy that
lovely fairy book Aunt ley gave us, and dear old ‘Alice in
Wonderland,’ and

“That was years ago,’ "interrupted Dick, turning very red.
“ve had it all explained to me since that, and I don’t read
those kind of books now.”



“Do you read Shakespeare?” demanded one of the little
folks.

“‘Some of it,” replied Dick, doubtfully.

‘““ Have you ever read ‘ Midsummer Night’s Dream ?’”

“Oh, yes! Jolly! Titania, and Oberon, and Puck, and all
that lot, you know; and the jolly little chaps that ——”

“Hullo! I thought you didn’t believe in fairies,” interrupted
someone.

“Oh, well, that’s different, you know; that’s ae
and—and—— ”



The Ambassador Extraordinary. IL



“And what? I suppose you'll admit that he believed in
them ?”

“Well, I suppose so,” said Dick, grudgingly ; but I ——”

“ But you imagine yourself to be cleverer than Shakespeare.”

‘‘Ha—ha—ha!” laughed a chorus of little people, derisively.

‘Look here! I'll
tell you what it is,”
said the first speaker,
“you have evidently
been taught by some
of those wise old
know-nothings, who
have succeeded in
making you as clever
as themselves, and it
is our intention to
show you how igno-
rant you all are. I
think you will believe

in fairies -before we



have done with you.
‘* FOUR EXTRAORDINARY FIGURES CAME IN SIGHT.”
Now, we are gnomes, :
and have just completed a subterranean passage between here
and the land of the little Panjandrum.”
The word little was spoken so softly as to be quite indistinct.
‘*The what!” cried Dick.
“Sh! the dittle Panjandrum,” said the gnome, speaking the

word almost inaudibly.



12 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



“What do you say it like that for?” asked the children.

‘Well, you see, his Magnificence and Serene Importance is
somewhat sensitive on the subject; there is the GRAND
Panjandrum, you know.”

‘©Oh, I see,” said Dick, ‘‘ and the other chap doesn’t like to
take a back seat, that’s it, is it? Well, who is the LITTLE
Panjandrum, anyhow?”

“Sh! sh!” cried the gnomes, looking about them nervously.
“You really mustn’t say little as loudly as that. Supposing
anyone heard you?”

“Well, what if they did?” asked Dick.

‘““Oh! His Serene Importance would be terribly angry, and
perhaps would —— ”’

What the conclusion of the sentence was to have been the
children never knew, for at that moment there was a loud
clattering noise in the passage leading from the cave, and a
moment afterwards four extraordinary figures came in sight.

They were mounted upon ostriches, and one of them, more
richly caparisoned than the others, had a kind of canopy
attached to his trappings, beneath which sat a stern-faced little
man with an elaborate turban and head-dress. He wore also a
very curious collar, from which depended a large gold ornament
of curious design. He carried in one hand a long pipe, and
with the other guided his strange steed.

The others of the party, who were evidently his attendants,
each carried a banner emblazoned with mysterious signs and
characters.

The silver bells attached to the head of the ostrich, and on



The Ambassador Extraordinary. 13



the top of the canopy over the grandee, tinkled merrily as ‘he
came forward.

“In the name of the little Panjandrum,” he shouted, in a
loud voice, and immediately all the gnomes bowed respectfully
almost down to the ground.

‘‘ His Serene Importance and Most Magnificent Greatness is
grievously dis-
tressed.”

The gnomes
all brought forth
little pocket-
handkerchiefs,
and began to
cry.

‘The Dodo
presented to®
His Worshipful
Gorgeousness
by the GRAND
PANJANDRUM

himself has es- ‘“WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE DODO?”

Eee ———
Gass =
gon att ve

aa.
ue My sa @
a e



caped!”’

The gnomes all threw up their hands in dismay.

‘““ Why, we saw it,” cried Marjorie, excitedly. ‘‘ Didn’t we,
Dick?”

The little man on the ostrich turned around sharply, and
after staring at the children for a moment, shouted—

“Who are you?”



14 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



“T am Dick Verrinder, sir, and this is my sister Marjorie,
and our little brother Fidge,” said Dick, politely. ‘‘ We are
spending our summer holiday at Mrs. Lawrence’s cottage on
the other side of the cliff. The tide rose very high this morning,

>



and we
** Don’t tell me all that nonsense. What do you know about
the Dodo?’’ said the little man, impatiently.

“Why, we met it floating about on a chair, and it told us

Pee



that it was going to the Equator to meet a—a—er—a

“Well?”

“Tt was something with a very long name,’’ stammered
Dick ; ‘‘ I can’t quite remember what.”

** Look here,” said the little man, bending forward excitedly,
“that story won’t do for me. I am the Ambassador Extra-
ordinary of his Magnificence the little Panjandrum, and you
tell me that you have seen the Dodo; that is enough. Now
then! Where is it? It’s no use telling me that it has gone off
to keep an appointment with something with a long name. I
say, where is the bird? If you don’t instantly produce that
Dodo I shall take you before the Court of Inquisitives, and let
them deal with you.”

“But I tell you,” began Dick, while Marjorie clung to his
arm in affright, and Fidge scowled angrily at hearing his

idolized big brother spoken to in this peremptory manner, ‘I

”



tell you that we only saw it for a
‘“That’s quite enough. Don’t argue the point. I shall give
you one week from now, and if at the end of that time you do

not appear at the Palace of the little Panjandrum with the



The Ambassador Extraordinary. 5



Dodo, I shall apply to the GRAND PANJANDRUM himself to have
you subtransexdistricated, so there! ”
ce But ”

‘Not another word. Ink! Paper! Pens!” he commanded,



getting off his ostrich and squatting down before a flat stone,
while the little gnomes ran hither and thither, getting in each
other’s way, and tripping and stumbling about in all directions
in their eagerness to do the Ambassador’s bidding.

**Sit down!” he ordered, and the children sat down on the
ground in front of him. There was a slight difficulty about the
ink at this point, for the gnomes, not being quite strong enough
to carry the inkstand, turned it over on its side to roll it
forward, and of course spilled all the ink. They managed,
however, to gather up some of it in their caps, and so kept the
Ambassador supplied. :

‘*Now then! Know all men by these presents,” he began,
writing the words down as he spake them.

“ He’s going to give us some presents,” whispered Fidge,
giving Dick a nudge. Dick shook his head reprovingly, and
the little man continued—

‘* That whereas three children, named respectively—what did
you say your name was?”

‘‘ Richard Greville Verrinder, Sir.”

“Richard Greville Verrinder, and—what’s your sister’s
name?”

** Marjorie Evelyn Verrinder.”’

“‘ Marjorie Evelyn Verrinder, and —— ”
“Harold Ellis Verrinder,” prompted Dick.



16 ’ The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo,



‘“* Who’s that ?”’ enquired the Ambassador, sharply.

‘‘ My little brother,” was the reply.

“You said his name was Fidge.”’

‘“‘ Oh, yes, but that’s his nickname, you know.”

‘*T don’t know anything of the sort. Now then, just keep
quiet while I finish this document. There,” he continued, when
he had finished writing some mys-
terious-looking words on the paper,
and had attached two enormous
red seals to it—“ that’s your-war-
rant for arresting the Dodo, when
you have found him ; and it is also
an authority from the little Pan-
jandrum for you at any time to
become any size that you wish; to
float through the air at will; and
to live under water if necessary.
So you have everything in your
favour, and I shall expect the
Dodo back in less than a week.



Do you hear? Now I’m off.”
The little man mounted his ‘DICK SUDDENLY SHOT UP TO THE
ostrich, and without saying a Pats Sieger eee
word more to anyone, he and his followers rode off in the
direction from whence they had come.
“Well, I never!’’ said Dick, picking up the scrawl which
had fallen at his feet. ‘‘ Here’s a go! We’ve got to find that

beastly old Dodo in less than a week, or be—what was it ?”



The Ambassador Extraordinary. 17



“I don’t know,” said Marjorie, dolefully, ‘‘it was something
very long, and sounded dreadful.”

“But what’s that he said about our being able to be any
size that we wished? I’m sure I wish I was as tall as father.”

“Me, too,” said Fidge, emphatically.

““And I should love to float about in the air, I’m sure!”
declared Marjorie.

The words were scarcely out of her mouth when she felt her-
self wafted gently off her feet, while at the same moment Dick,
to Fidge’s intense surprise, suddenly shot up to the height of
over six feet, and looked so very ridiculous, that all three of

them burst out into an uncontrollable fit of laughter.











CHAPTER III.

TBe Sage in the Onion Field.

BOW absurd,” laughed Dick, as he looked down from
the—to him—enormous height of six feet. ‘‘ What



a thin, lanky-looking creature, I am, to be sure—
and Fidge, too; he looks perfectly ridiculous ’—for Fidge, also,
was growing amazingly.

‘‘ How did it happen, Dick, dear?” asked Marjorie, in an
awe-stricken voice. ‘‘It seems so funny to be up here in the
air, and yet I don’t feel in the least frightened, do you?”

“Of course not,” said Dick, contemptuously. ‘‘ Why, we
just said we wished to be as tall as the Pater, you know, and it
happened.”

“Oh, yes; and I said I should like to float in the air. I
suppose we can always do what we want to now—how lovely !
Like the ‘ Arabian Nights,’ isn’t it 2?”

“T don’t want to be thin, like a walking-stick,” said Fidge,
in a dissatisfied voice.



The Sage in the Onion Field. 19



‘No, it’s rather horrid,’ said Dick. “* Let’s see; we said as
tall as the Pater, didn’t we ?—not as big. I wonder if that
makes any difference.”

“T want to be as fat as old Mrs. Mofflet,” said Fidge,
mischievously.

The words were no sooner out of his mouth than he dwindled
down to his usual height, and spread out in girth till he exactly
resembled, in appearance, what one looks like in a concave
mirror—that is, he was about twice as wide as he was high.

“Oh, dear! Oh, dear! That’s worse than ever!” laughed
the children, while little Fidge waddled about in an absurd way.

The gnomes were highly amused, and cut the most extra-
ordinary antics in their glee.

“I think perhaps the best thing to do for the present would
be to wish ourselves as we were,” said Dick. “I have no doubt
it will be very useful by-and-bye to be any size we like, but just
now it’s rather awkward.”

“Oh, let’s be little, like the gnomes,” cried Marjorie. “It
will be such fun.”

“All right,” acquiesced Dick; ‘here goes—I wish I were as
little as the gnomes.”

“So do I,” cried Marjorie.

“Me, too!” cried Fidge.

To their great surprise, nothing happened. They waited a
moment or two, staring at each other expectantly, and then
Marjorie cried in a troubled voice—

“Oh, dear! I don’t believe it's going to work, and we shall
have to stay like this for ever.”



20 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



‘What nonsense!’ cried Dick.

‘““T say! I want to be as small as the gnomes,” he shouted.





EEF py
Li
YE
Yy Zz Zo




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yy
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Vz,
GLE 2
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AA ==
ee oe eB





““HE WAS ABOUT TWICE AS WIDE AS HE WAS HIGH.”

There was no result, however, and the children remained as

they were.



The Sage in the Onion Field. 2I



“Oh! I know,” he cried; “I ought to have the paper that
the Ambassador gave me in my hand. Where is it?”

There was a great whispering amongst the gnomes, and at
last one of them shouted out—

‘We've taken it away.”

“What for?’ demanded Dick. ‘It was given to us; you
had better give it up at once. What do you mean by it?”

There was another whispered consultation, and then one of
the gnomes said, ‘‘ Let them have it for now,” and the paper
was put down upon the ground at Dick’s feet.

Dick stooped down and picked it up, and immediately the
children began to dwindle down till they became as small as the
little people themselves.

They had no sooner done so than the paper which the
Ambassador had given them was suddenly snatched from
Dick’s hand, and a number of the gnomes surrounded them,
dancing about, turning somersaults, playing leap-frog, and
capering about in the maddest way.

** Well, you’ve done it now,” said one of them, tauntingly.

‘What do you mean?” enquired Dick.

“Why, we’ve got the paper, and you can’t grow any bigger
until we allow you to.”

‘“‘ What a mean trick!” cried Dick, in disgust.

‘“‘ Well, we don't think it at all fair,” said the gnomes, “ that
you should be able to grow any size that you want to, while we
have to keep little, so we are going to keep you here for a little
while, and teach you to believe in fairies, do you see?”

‘“‘ But we’ve got to find the Dodo in a week,” expostulated



22 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



Dick, “and if you keep us here, however are we to do
that ?”

“Oh, please give us the paper back,” begged Marjorie. ‘I’m
sure the Pater will be so vexed if we never grow any bigger
than this any more.” And she began to cry a little.

You see, such a lot of very unusual things had happened that °
she was a little excited and nervous.

“Well, we'll think about it,” said the gnomes, running away
and hiding among the rocks.

“ Don’t cry, Marjorie,” ‘said Dick, bravely, though he too felt
a little anxious himself; for, you see, eleven inches is not very
tall for anyone to be, and he didn’t care to admit what would
happen if he went back to school in his present state.

“Chappel Minor has always been cheeky,” he thought, “‘ and
so have Martin and Foster, and if I keep this size they will
think they can do just as they like with me, and probably will
turn me out of the cricket eleven, while that little wretch of a
Castleton is sure to sneak all my pencils—he does now when
he gets a chance.” However, he kept these doleful thoughts to
himself, and devoted himself to the task of consoling his sister
and Fidge, and had soon talked them into such a cheerful
frame of mind, that they really began to think that it was
rather an advantage than otherwise to have lost the paper.

“For one thing, we shall not have to hunt for that old
Dodo,” argued Dick, ‘because even the Grand Panjandrum
himself, whoever he may be, could not expect us to go far away
while we remain as little as this, and so we are not in such

great danger of being—er—er—thingummybobbed—you know



The Sage in the Onion Field. 23



—what the Ambassador said we should be, if we didn't find the
wretched thing.”

‘Supposing we try and find the Ambassador,” suggested
Marjorie. ‘I don’t think he was really very cross, only a little
abrupt, you know; and we could explain everything to him,
and perhaps he would give us a new paper.”

“All right,” said Dick, leading the way. “At any rate, he
will be able to make us grow bigger—that is, if we wish to,” he
added, with a fine affectation of unconcern.

The children walked on for some time in the direction in
which the Ambassador and his followers had disappeared, and
they soon found themselves out of the cave and in a kind of
forest.

‘What funny trees,” said Fidge, looking up over his head.

The others followed his example, and found that he had good
cause for his surprise; the long, smooth trunks, without any
leaves, ended in a kind of ball, while at the roots a kind of
enormous bulb appeared.

“Whatever can they be?’ cried Marjorie, in amazement.

‘“Onions!” was the reply, spoken by a strange voice.

The children turned around, and beheld a curious little old
man with a long flowing beard coming toward them.

“Have you any other questions to ask?” he enquired,
pleasantly.

“It’s very kind of you, Sir,” said Dick, who was the first to
recover from the surprise which they had all experienced
at this sudden apparition. ‘‘ Will you, please, tell us where

we are?”



24 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.
‘©Oh,” said the little man, with a smile, ‘‘ this is the Field of
Onions. And I am the Sage with the snowy beard who dwells

in the Field.of Onions. And that is the Hut of curious build

£)



e,

Oren
ua
Ips tt AN

‘“A CURIOUS LITTLE OLD MAN WITH A FLOWING BEARD

CAME TOWARD THEM.”

which belongs to the Sage with the snowy beard who dwells in
the Field of Onions. ‘



The Sage in the Onion Field. 25



“Ts there anything else I can tell you? If so, pray ask me.
I like it.”

‘What a funny man,” whispered Marjorie. ‘“ Do you think
he is quite right in his head?”

“Hush!” said Dick. ‘Perhaps he can direct us to the
Little Panjandrum’s, and then we can find the Ambassador
easily.”’

“Little Panjandrum’s, certainly,” said the Sage, answering
exactly as though he had been spoken to himself—

“«Take the first to the right on Tuesday week,
The second to the left on Monday ;
On Friday you'll not have far to seek,

And be sure not to travel on Sunday !’

But it’s no use going at all till you've found the Dodo,” he
added.

“Good gracious! how did you know that we were looking
for it,” cried Dick.

“Oh, I know everything,” said the Sage, complacently.
“Did you ever know a Sage who didn’t?”

“Tm afraid I’ve never known one at all before, Sir,” said
Dick ; “‘but I should think it must be very useful to know such
a lot, isn’t it?”

“ Yes, it isn’t bad,’ admitted the Sage; ‘would you like to
know how I became so clever?”

“Oh, yes, please,” cried all the children at once.

Motioning them to a seat on an onion bulb, the little man

struck an attitude, and began—



26 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



“I was brought up on Verbs of irregular kind,
With a Pronoun or two as a treat,
While a strict course of Logic, to strengthen my mind,

My pastors and masters thought meet.

I had Lessons for breakfast, and Sums for my tea,
Learnt to play the Arithmetic nicely,
And gained all the prizes at School—don’t you see,

For construing Doggerel concisely.

They were Isms, and Ologies, Science, and Cram,
Quadratic Equations, and Butter,

The Pons asinorum,; and Strawberry Jam,
And the Cane, did I mumble or mutter.”











CHAPTER IV.

Stories and Tails by Be Sage.

had finished, ‘‘that all those last things were

prizes; because, if so, there isn’t a single one of



them that I should have cared for much, except the Straw-
berry Jam?”

“That only shows a great want of taste on your part,” said
the old Sage, severely. ‘‘Isms and Ologies, and things of that
sort, are very tasty, when you become used to them.”

““What are Isms -and Ologies, if you please, Sir?” asked
Marjorie.

“Qh, there are various kinds,” was the reply. ‘‘ There’s
Ge-Ology, for instance, which is lovely spread on bread-and-
butter; and Zo-Ology, with Aphor-Ism_ sauce, is simply

delicious.”

“They don’t sound very nice,” said Marjorie, dubiously,
making a wry face.



28 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



““You don’t know anything at all about it, I’m afraid, my
dear,” said the little old man, decidedly. ‘‘ You would probably
prefer dolls and foolishness of that sort |”

“Yes, I think I should,” admitted Marjorie, candidly.

‘“Do you know everything, please, Mr. Sage?” enquired
Fidge, who had been very silent during this conversation,
which he had not in the least been able to understand.

“Yes, my dear,” said the Sage, smiling affably.

““Stories?”? enquired Fidge, his eyes wide open with excite-
ment and interest.

The old man nodded.

“Oh! do tell us one, please,” begged the little boy. ‘The
Three Bears, or Little Red Riding Hood, or something of that
sort.”

“Fidge, Fidge,” cried Dick, rebukingly, “you mustn’t
bother the gentleman.”

“Oh, I don’t mind in the least,” said the Sage, pleasantly.
*‘T’ll tell him some stories, if he likes.”

“Oh! thanks, that’s jolly!” cried Fidge, clapping his hands,
and they all sat down again, while the old man began as follows :—

“It’ was on a dark winter’s night, and the hot sun was
pouring down upon the ——”

“Oh!” interrupted Marjorie, “I beg your pardon, but
haven’t you made a mistake? It couldn’t have been dark, you
know, if the sun was shining.” :

The Sage frowned severely.

‘Are you telling this story, or am I?” he asked, coldly.

“Oh, I beg your pardon,” said Marjorie, “ please go on.”



Stories and Tails by the Sage. 29



‘““Was pouring down upon the ship,” continued the Sage,
“and almost freezing the poor soldiers, who had great difficulty
as it was, in dragging the heavy cannon up the steep side of the
mountain, upon which he was standing; still leaning over the
side of the balloon, she peered down eagerly into the sky.
There was not a soul in sight.

“Suddenly a cry of ‘ Fire!’ rang through the town, and two
or three of them hastily putting on their best clothes, joined the
picnic party under the gnarled oak tree in the meadow, and
their joyous laughter rang merrily down the old staircase,
where the grandfather's clock stood, tick-tick-ticking, like the
great volcano which yawned at their very feet, and into
which the two boys plunged merrily, and were soon splashing
about in the shallow water like a mahogany chest of drawers
upon the sands of time.”

The Sage paused.

“Do you like it ?”’” he enquired, anxiously.

“Not much, I’m afraid,” said Dick. “You see, we can’t
quite understand what it’s all about.”

“Well, neither do I,” said the Sage, ‘‘ because, you know,
I’m making it up as I go along.”

‘“‘ Then it isn’t true?” asked Marjorie.

“True? Nonsense! You wanted a story, didn’t you? This
is a real story; there isn’t a particle of truth in it anywhere.”

‘“‘ Oh, we didn’t mean that kind of story,” explained Marjorie,
‘‘we meant a tale.”

‘“ What kind of a tale would you like—a Fishes’ tale, a Birds’

tale, or an Animals’ tale? ”



30 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



“A birds’ tale, please,” said Marjorie, after consulting the
others.

‘All right,” said the Sage, ‘this is a lot of birds’ tales all
tied up together, and is called a fable ——”’
“Ts it one of A’sop’s?”’ asked Dick, who thought that it

would look grand for him to have heard of sop’s fables.



‘“THE GOSSIPING GOOSE.”’

“No, it isn’t,” said the Sage, rather crossly ; ‘‘it’s one of my
own! Now then, are you ready? I call it—

“THE GOSSIPING GOOSE.

‘A Crested Grebe, a Spoonbill, and a Goose,
I beg to say,
Met one fine day,

And compliments were passed the most profuse.



Stories and Tails by the Sage. 31



‘How very well you look, my dear,’ said one,
‘That shade of red
Upon your head,

So sweet; and how delightfully your hair is done.’

And each had gratifying things to say,
With gushing smile,
Upon the style

Of all the others’ holiday array.

Then Mrs. Goose, with most superior sneer,
Said, ‘Have you seen
That dress of green

That Mrs. Peacock’s wearing now, my dear?

‘She looks a perfect guy, and then—her feet
And legs! Oh, lor!
I never saw

A bird so clumsy, or so indiscreet.

‘I met her at the Concert Hall last week,
A poor affair,
I do declare,

I wonder that the Songsters have such cheek.

‘Miss Nightingale was singing far too loud;
I never heard
So harsh a bird,

I wonder how she dared to face the crowd.

‘Miss Thrush had quite a decent voice, I hear,
Some years ago
(A score or so),

But now her voice is giving way, I fear.



32

The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



‘She sang as badly as did Mrs. Lark,
Who all agreed,
Had every need

Of lessons, to bring hey up to the mark,

‘Miss Linnet had a really dreadful cough.
As for the rest, -
They quite distressed
The company. Well, good-bye, dears. I'm off.’

And, while the Spoonbill and the other bird
Went on their way,
I heard one say,

‘That Mrs. Goose is really most absurd.

‘She talks about the Peacock’s gaudy dress:
If she prefers
That grey of hers,

I don’t admire her taste, I must confess.

‘And as for legs and feet—well, I declare,
The pair she’s got
Are really not

The kind that I’d be seen with anywhere.

‘While as for singing, that she should complain
Of other folk
Is past a joke,

I vow I'll not be friends with her again.’

‘My dear,’ the other said, ‘remember this:
A critic she
Of high degree,

For though she can’t sing well, the goose can hiss.’



Stories and Tails by the Sage. © 33
The Sage had scarcely finished when a sound of weeping and
wailing was heard, and presently a whole troop of gnomes

appeared in the onion field. They were crying bitterly, and to



Yn ee

‘““THEY WERE CRYING BITTERLY.”

the children’s great surprise several of them had grown
enormously tall and others equally stout.



34 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



They came straight up to the Sage’s hut, and with tears
streaming down their faces beseeched him to help them. They
had foolishly been making use of the authority which the Little
Panjandrum’s Ambassador had given to the children; and
although it acted one way, and made them the size that they
wished to be, it would not turn them back again.

‘And my wife and family refuse to have anything to do with
me,” said one ridiculously tall individual.

“And I can’t squeeze into my own house, anyhow,” wept
the stout one. .

‘The only way,” said the Sage, after a moment’s thought,
with his forehead wrinkled into deep furrows, ‘‘is to send the
Ki-Wi to the Court of the Little Panjandrum for a fresh
authority. It’s no use your having this one back if it won't act
properly, is it?’ he enquired, turning to the children.

“Certainly not,” said Dick; ‘‘but who is the Ki-Wi,
please ?”

““Oh, he’s the Court Messenger,” explained the Sage, ‘‘and
is the only one here allowed to enter the Court of the Little
Panjandrum without permission.”

‘* Go and fetch him,” he continued.

And the gnomes disappeared, returning presently with the
Ki-Wi (who turned out to be a curious kind of bird),
and the written authority, which had been taken from the
children.

‘“‘ Let me look at it,” said the Sage, holding out his hand for
the paper.

“‘ Why, no wonder it won’t act for the gnomes,” he exclaimed,





Stories and Tails by the Sage. 35



when he had read it. “It mentions you all by name—just try

it yourselves, will you?”

Dick took the paper from him, and said loudly, ‘“‘ We wish

to be our own size again.”

To their great delight the children at once found themselves

their usual height, and the onions, which had looked before like

huge trees, now
only reached a
little above their
heads, while the
Sage and the
other gnomes
looked the
tiniest little
creatures again.

‘* This is bet-

ter,” said Dick,

shaking himself

as though he

had come out

of the water.
“Yes, isn’t it

good to be our-



‘“ PRODUCED A LARGE DOCUMENT AND BEGAN TO READ.”

selves once more,” said Marjorie.

While Fidge jumped about delightedly, breaking down

several of the onion plants, and almost treading on the

Sage’s hut.

“Don’t caper about like a lot of lunatics,” shouted the little



36 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



man, angrily. ‘Come and sit down and talk business. The
Ki-Wi has something to tell you.”

All excitement to know what it could be, the children sat
down again, and the Ki- Wi, after fumbling about in his coat
tail for some time, produced a large document and began

to read.











GRAB TER: V-

Be King of tbe Gisbes.

#|M—ah—that is to say—er—notwithstanding, never-

theless, likewise also, and as is herein aforesaid,”



began ‘the Ki- Wi, in an important voice.

“Hold on!” cried Dick. “We can’t understand all that,
you know. Why don’t you say what you have to say in
English?”

“It is English,’ declared the Ki-Wi, in an aggrieved voice,
“and very good English too.” .

** Of course it is,” chimed in the Sage.

>

“Well, we don’t understand it, anyhow,” maintained Dick.
“Tt doesn’t seem to mean anything at all.”

‘Perhaps, Dick, dear,” said Marjorie, ‘‘ Mr. Sage will explain
it tous. Let’s see—it began ——”
“«* Notwithstanding, nevertheless, likewise, and as is herein

aforesaid,” repeated the Ki- Wi.



38 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



“ Well, I’ll explain it, if you wish, with pleasure,” said the
Sage, “though I can’t see in the least why it should be neces-
sary. It*seems to me to be perfectly simple. To begin with—
‘Notwithstanding’ describes our position just now—Not-with-
standing, or not standing with the Ki-Wi. He is standing,
while we are sitting down, you see; then ‘nevertheless’ means
of course the same as always-the-greater, which exactly describes
. me. You see, my great learning and cleverness always makes
me greater than the people I am speaking to, and conse-
quently mever-the-less. The next word is also descriptive of
myself. ‘ Likewise,’ or like a wise man, which, I am sure, you
will all agree that I am; and ‘herein’ means that my brains

’

are all im here,” said the Sage, tapping his head. ‘ While
‘aforesaid ’—the last word—means that I have a strong head,
or a-force-head, do you see?”

“Is the rest of the paper all about yourself, too, Sir?” asked
Marjorie.

“Yes,” was the complacent reply. ‘‘Go on, Ki-Wi.”

“I’m afraid we can’t stop,” interrupted Dick. ‘ You see, we
have got to hunt up that wretched Dodo, and perhaps we had
better be going now.”

“Yes, we must be going now,” chimed in Fidge, jumping up
eagerly, for all this rigmarole had been very uninteresting
to him. ;

“Oh, I’m sorry you can’t stay,” said the Sage, in a disap-
pointed voice. ‘I could have told you such a lot more about
myself. You do think I’m clever though, don’t you?” he
asked, anxiously.





The King of the Fishes. 39



“Oh, immensely !”’ said the children, politely.

“Thanks!” said the Sage. ‘‘ Will you take a few onions
with you as a memento of your visit ?”’

“ No thank you,” said Marjorie, hurriedly.

“They would remind you of me,” suggested the Sage, wist-
fully ; ‘‘ Sage and onions, you know.”

‘‘No thanks,” said Dick, ‘‘I’m sure we shall remember you
without.”

“ Now that’s very kind of you,” said the Sage, ‘and I’ll do
the best I can to help you in your search for the Dodo. Let's
see, where did he say he was going to ?”’

‘‘The Equator,” said Dick; “but I’m sure we can’t go all
that way after him, and get back in a week.”

“You could if you went by sea,” said the Sage.

“What do you mean?” asked Dick.

‘Why, I could give you an introduction to the King of the
Fishes, you know, and he might lend you his dolphins; they
travel at a rare pace, and would get you there in no time.”

‘Oh, yes,” cried Marjorie, ‘‘ of course we can go under the
sea, don’t you know, the paper says so. Wouldn’t it be jolly,
even if we didn’t find the Dodo?”

“Don’t want to be drownded, and get all deaded,”’ objected
Fidge.

“You wouldn’t be, dear,” said Marjorie. ‘‘ Brother Dick
wouldn’t take us anywhere where we should come to any
harm.”

“How should we get there, I wonder?” asked Dick,
thoughtfully.



40 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



‘“‘T’ll show you—come along,” said the Sage, getting up and
leading the way. ia

The children followed, and the little gnomes, now all reduced
to their proper size, came trooping along after them.

Presently they reached the edge of the cliff, and the sea,
sparkling in the sunlight, lay at their feet some distance below.

The Sage, hastily scribbling a note with a piece of pencil,
thrust it into Dick’s hand, and crying, ‘‘ This is the quickest
way!” deliberately pushed the children, one after the other,
over the cliff.

Before they had time to realize what had happened, or to
become in the least alarmed, they found themselves slowly and
comfortably sinking through the air; while a shriek of laughter
from the gnomes caused them to look up to the edge of the
cliffs, where they beheld all the little fellows leaning over and
waving their pocket-handkerchiefs, while the Sage and the
Ki-Wi stood in their midst.

“Oh!” cried Marjorie, as they descended, “‘isn’t it fortunate
we have the power to float in the air; it would have been an
awful plunge otherwise, wouldn’t it ?”’

EVES) agreed Dick, reaching out his hand to Fidge, who
looked just a little wee bit frightened. ‘‘I wonder what it will
be like in the sea.”

He had not to speculate long, however, for almost at that
moment their feet touched the water, and they sank down,
down, down through the clear green depths.

“Oh, look!” cried Fidge, excitedly. ‘‘ Fishes! Fishes!”

and he started off swimming after them quite naturally.











DN

The King of the Fishes. 41



* One’s got a hat on,” he called out. ‘‘ Look! look! there’s
another; oh, let’s catch them!”

“If you don’t behave yourselves you'll be locked up,” said a
severe. voice, and, turning around, the children beheld a very

stern-looking fish, wearing a helmet, and carrying a truncheon.































““THE CHAIR WAS FLOATING JUST IN FRONT OF THEM.”

‘Now then, move on; don’t obstruct the traffic!” he cried,
angrily; and the children, swimming off as hastily as they
could, mentally put him down as a kind of sea policeman.

“You certainly mustn’t try and catch any of the fishes,

Fidge, or you will be getting us all into trouble,” said Dick.



42 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



And Fidge, overawed by the policeman fish, became quite
subdued, and contented himself with a quiet “ Look! look!”
when they passed anything particularly strange or interesting.

They had very nearly reached the bottom of the sea, when
they noticed a singular-looking object floating some distance
in front of them.

“It looks like a chair!” declared Marjorie. <« Why, I
believe,’’ she continued, as they drew nearer, “that it’s the
very one the Dodo was floating upon when we saw him last.”

“So it is!" cried Dick; “and look, there’s a note on it—
perhaps it’s for us.”

They swam towards it as quickly as they could, and had just
reached the chair, as a curious-looking fish—with a very long
nose, and wearing shoes on the end of his long tail, and a tall
hat—swam past.

He looked at them inquisitively, and then stood a little way
at the back of them, waiting till they should be disengaged.

“To all to whom it may concern,” read Dick, after he had
picked up the note from off the chair. ‘I suppose that means
us as much as anyone.”

_ “Of course it does,” agreed Marjorie. ‘It concerns us very
much to find out where the Dodo is.”

Dick hesitated no longer, but opened the note eagerly. His
face fell, however, when he beheld the contents.

“Mind your own business!” he read, slowly. ‘What a
sell! I believe the Dodo did write it, though, and intended it
as a hint that we were not to try and find him. I’m half
inclined to give it up.” }







The King of the Fishes. 43



‘‘ But Dick, dear, remember,” said Marjorie, ‘‘ we shall be—
er—you know—what the Ambassador said—if we don’t
find him.” %

“Oh, ah,” said Dick, ‘‘I’d forgotten that. Come on, then ;
let’s see what can be done.”

“Can I be of any assistance?” said the thin fish, coming
forward with a polite bow. ‘‘ Have you lost anything?”

‘Oh, thanks,” said Dick. ‘‘ We're looking fora Dodo. Do
you happen to have seen one about here ?”

‘A Dodo,” said the fish, reflectively. ‘I don't think I have
the pleasure of the gentleman’s acquaintance. What kind of a
fish is he ?”’

‘Oh, he isn’t a fish at all,” explained Dick; ‘‘he’s a kind of
bird, you know.”

‘‘ Ah! birds we don’t encourage below the surface, as a rule,”
said the fish, smiling indulgently. ‘ You are scarcely likely to
meet with him here. Perhaps His Majesty the King of the
Fishes would advise you.”

‘Oh, I have a letter of introduction to His Majesty,” said
Dick. ‘I’m afraid it’s rather wet,” he said, apologetically,
drawing it from his pocket.

“Tt would be unacceptable to His Majesty were it not so,”
said the fish. ‘‘ Well, now, I was going to a football match, it
being a half-holiday ; but, under the circumstances, I will put
it off, and escort you to the Palace. This way, please.”

Sinking down to the sand at the bottom of the sea, the fish
led the way through a beautiful forest of waving seaweed, of all

the colours of the rainbow. Exquisite shells were strewn about,



44 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



and brightly-coloured anemones clung to the rocks on every
side, while all kinds of oddly-shaped fishes swam about, peering

at the children curiously as they passed.



‘** BRING THEM FORWARD,’ SAID THE KING OF THE FISHES.”

Presently they came in sight of a kind of Palace, formed of
quaintly-shaped pieces of coral, which, the fish explained, was
where the King lived.



TE



The King of the Fishes. 45



“Just stay here for a moment, please,” said he; and the
children waited outside while he went into the Palace. ©

Fidge pulled aside a piece of seaweed, and they all peeped
through a hole in the coral, and saw a large fish wearing a
crown, and with a curious chain about his neck, to which was
attached an enormous fish-hook, seated on a throne.

Officers of State stood round about, and the little thin fish
that had been so polite to them was bowing and scraping in
quite a courtly fashion.

He was evidently telling His Majesty all about them, for,
after hearing what he had to say, the King of the Fishes nodded ;
and the thin fish came out, and informed them that they were

to be admitted into the Presence.









CHAP R: Wir

jn Be King’s Presence.

SO you understand fish-language?”’ whispered the




little thin fish, hurriedly, as he was conducting
them into the Presence Chamber.

“I’m afraid not,” replied Dick. .

“‘Then you must remain silent, for in the King’s presence
nothing but the fish-language is allowed to be spoken. I will
interpret for you afterwards.”

Pushing aside some curtains of brightly-coloured seaweed he
led them into the Presence Chamber.

The King received them very graciously, and held out one fin
as they approached.

“‘T expect we ought to kneel on one knee, and kiss it, like
they do at presentations,” whispered Marjorie.

But Dick wasn’t going to do anything of that sort, and just
touched it lightly with one hand, while the others followed suit.





In the King’s Presence. 47
The thin fish then motioned them to sit down on a kind of
divan, upon which large sponges took the place of cushions, and
which the children found to be most comfortable; and the
audience began. ‘

The most extraordinary part about it was that not the
slightest sound could be heard. The little thin fish opened and
shut his mouth in little, short, jerky gasps, to which the King
replied by slowly opening and shutting his, rolling ‘his eyes
about meanwhile, just as you may have seen fishes do in an
aquarium.

Then the little fish solemnly handed His Majesty the Sage’s
letter, which the King put on his gold-rimmed glasses to read.

Having done so, he turned to the children and smiled, at
least that’s what they afterwards found out he was doing; but,
really and truly, he made such a curious grimace that poor
little Fidge was frightened, and wanted to run away.

His Majesty then opened and shut his mouth very slowly
three or four times, to which all the other fishes replied by
swimming backwards three strokes, and then forward three
strokes. Then the audience was at an end.

The little thin fish came and whispered to the children, “It
is usual for mortals, when leaving the presence of the King, to
turn three somersaults backwards. Do you think you can
do that?”

“T’m afraid not,’ replied Dick, anxiously. ‘At least, I
might be able to manage, but I don’t know about Marjorie and
Fidge.”

“Oh, never mind, then; I’ll ask His Majesty to be good .



48 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



enough to excuse you,” said the fish, and, making a low bow to
the King, he explained the situation in a few short gasps.

His Majesty thereupon left the audience chamber, having
first graciously inclined his head towards the children.

As he swam away, two little fishes attached themselves to
the tip of His Majesty’s tail, while another held the crown down







‘“SOME FISHES WERE PLAYING FOOTBALL.”

on his royal head, to prevent it from slipping off, the rest of the
audience swimming behind at a respectful distance, forming a
sort of procession.

_ Well,” begun the thin fish, after the others had all gone,
“I congratulate you. His Majesty has been good enough to



a NT eT EE ee ee en ee

:
|
:
:
:



a

In the King’s Presence. 49



place the Royal Dolphins at your disposal, and if the Dodo you
are searching for is anywhere on, or in, the sea you ought to
have no difficulty in finding him, for the Dolphins swim very
quickly indeed, and can take you anywhere you like in a jiffy.
Please follow me to the royal stables, and we will harness
them.”

The children passed out after their kind little friend, and
followed him into the gardens of the Palace, which they had to
cross in order to reach the stables.

Marjorie was enraptured at the sight of the beautifully-
arranged gardens, in which brightly-coloured anemones took
the place of flowers.

On a lawn of the finest short green seaweed, a number of
globe-shaped fishes, with striped bodies, were playing football,
and the children stopped a few minutes to watch the game.

They were very much surprised to find that the football itself
was a fish—a little round chap, just the shape of a football—who,
on the players giving him a smart kick with their tail, shot up
through the water and over the goal in no time.

“ Doesn’t he object ?”” said Dick, after they had watched this
performance for some time; ‘‘I know I should.”

“Oh, dear, no!” exclaimed their guide, “‘ he enjoys it quite
as much as the others do. You see, it’s such a delightful sensa-
tion to be shot through the water without the effort of swim-
ming; but, come along, we must be off if you are going to
start to-day.”

“‘There’s one little piece of advice I should like to give you
in. your search for the Dodo,” he continued, kindly, as they

D





50 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.

swam along. ‘‘If you don’t succeed in catching him one way,
try another. Remember the bear with a cold.”

“‘ What do you mean?” asked the children.

“Don’t you know the story of the bear with a. cold?”
was the reply.

“No; do tell us!”
they cried.

“Why, you see,”
said the fish, ‘‘ there
was once an old bear,
who had a dreadful
cold, and his friends
all advised him to try
different things to

cure it. One said



one thing, and one





oN

another, andalthough Sy
he tried them all, one Nea ee
after the other, he y Wi 3

-?
didn’t get any better ; i
sl” ge

vered, and kept try- “AND NOW HE’S QUITE WELL, THANKS.”’ —

but still he perse-

ing all the remedies
they suggested, and at last he was cured, and what do you
think did it?” 5;

““What ?”’ enquired the children.

‘Why, someone suggested putting his feet into hot mustard

and water and drinking. gruel—and he tried it several times

fm



In the King’s Presence. 5I.



with no effect; and at last he fortunately thought of reversing
the process, so he put his feet into some thick gruel, and drank
a lot of mustard and water, and now he’s quite well, thanks. So
don’t you get discouraged
if you don’t find the Dodo

at once; but, as I said





before, if one way doesn’t
succeed, try
another.”

“ Thanks !”
said the chil-
dren, ‘‘ we'll re-
member.”

Just then
they found
themselves be-

fore a kind of
shed, built of
coral, which the
fish entered, re-
turning shortly
afterwards lead-

ing three curi-

‘COME ON, MARJORIE, LET'S HAVE A RACE.”

ous-looking
fishes by a simple sort of bridle.

“Here they are!” he announced; ‘you will find them
quite docile. Just mount them and see how you like their
pace.”



52 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



The children needed no second invitation, and were soon
astride their strange steeds.

With a whisk of their tails they were soon off, dashing
through the water at such a rate that the little thin fish had the
greatest difficulty in keeping up with them, even for a short
distance.

“Oh! this zs jolly!” cried Dick.

** Come on, Marjorie, let’s have a race.”

The Dolphins answered to the slightest pull at the reins, and
the children hadn’t the least fear; so, getting into a line,
they waited for their friend the thin fish to come up and give
them the signal to start.







CHAPTER VII.

The Human Race.

=WIIE little thin fish seemed to be a long while catching
them up, and, while they were waiting, Marjorie



espied a curious figure poking about among the
seaweed a short distance away from them.

‘‘T wonder what it is!” she cried, and the children dis-
mounted from the Dolphins, and, tying them by the reins to
some coral stumps, so that they could not swim away, they half
walked and half swam over to where Marjorie had first noticed
the creature, whatever it was.

‘Why, it’s a man!” cried Dick, as they drew nearer, and
could distinguish him more clearly.

He was a wretched-looking old fellow, with a heavy sack
upon his back, and was clothed only in a ragged old garment,
which scarcely reached to his knees.



54 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



‘Poor man,” said Marjorie, in a whisper, “ how unhappy he
looks ; perhaps he has lost something.”

The man glanced up nervously as the children approached,
and, clutching at his bag jealously, he demanded—

“Who are you?) What do you want? ”

“Nothing, thank you, poor old man,” began Marjorie; “we
were only ——”

The old man burst into a peal of hoarse laughter.

“ Poor old man!” he exclaimed. ‘Do you know that I am
the richest man in the world. Look!” he exclaimed, opening
his bag before the children’s astonished eyes. “Gold! jewels!
riches! wealth! they are all mine—ha—ha—ha—ha!” and he
laughed discordantly, and hugged the bag closely to himself
again. ;

“Oh, come away!” cried Marjorie, catching at Dick’s arm.
“I’m so frightened.”

‘““T’m the Old Man of the Sea,” continued the man, ‘‘and all
the treasures of the deep are mine. I have stacks of golden
crowns and jewels without number, and each day I gather
more—they are all mine—mine—mine! ”

“But where do they all come from?” asked Dick.

** The bottom of the sea is strewn with riches,” continued the
old man, “and there is no one to reap the harvest but myself.”

“You must be very happy if you are so rich,” said Dick.
“It must be lovely to have all those things.”

“No, I am not happy,” said the Old Man of the Sea. “Iam
very old, and very lonely, and there is no one here to admire
my treasures but myself. The fishes will have nothing to do



The Human Race. 55



with me—they do not care for gold; it is valueless to them—
and I may not go on land, so I am here alone with my riches,

and every day I gather more and more. I have piled them













Fto-p< zor YY



‘“ FILLING HIS BAG WITH ALL KINDS OF TREASURE.”

high about my cave in a great circle, and some day, when it
becomes top-heavy, it will fall over and crush me beneath it,

and I shall be buried in a tomb of ‘gold. No king, no emperor,



56 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



had ever so grand a sepulchre as I shall have, but I am not
happy—no—no—not happy, not happy.”

And the old man shouldered his bag and moved away,
muttering sorrowfully.

“Poor man, poor man,” said Marjorie; ‘for he 7s poor,
although he has so much wealth, isn’t he, Dick?”

‘Yes, jolly poor, and miserable too. I wouldn’t be him for
something,” said Dick. ‘*‘ Come on, it makes me wretched to
think about him—let’s get back to the Dolphins.”

When they reached them, they found that their little friend,
the thin fish, had arrived at last.

“ Hullo!” cried Dick. ‘* What a jolly long while you have
been catching us up. Wherever have you been to all this
time?”

“Why,” explained the fish, ‘‘I thought I heard you saying
something about a race, and suddenly I remembered what a
splendid opportunity your visit down here would afford us of
witnessing a real human race—you are human, aren't you?”
he asked, anxiously.

‘Yes, I suppose so,” replied Dick.

“That’s right,” said the fish. ‘‘Come on, the King is most
anxious for the race to begin at once, and I promised to bring
you back with me immediately.”’

“But what zs a human race?” enquired Marjorie, as they
mounted their Dolphins.

“Oh, you'll see when we get back,” was the reply, and, the
little fish hanging on to one of the Dolphins’ tails, they were
soon flying through the water at a rare rate.



The Human Race. 57



When they got back to the lawn by the King’s Palace, the
children were greatly astonished to see a big crowd of fishes
drawn up in two lines, with a wide path between them. The
King, on a shell throne, surrounded by his courtiers, was at one
end, and several important-looking fishes were fussing about at
the other, making a straight line with some little lumps of
white chalk.

There was a cheer when the children arrived on their
Dolphins, and a rush was made to assist them to alight.

‘ But what are we to do?” they enquired, rather dismayed
at these elaborate preparations.

‘* Show us a human race,” was the reply.

“Well, a human race is just like any other kind of race,
I suppose,” said Dick, ‘‘the one who reaches the goal first
wins. If we are going to race, though, we shall have to be
handicapped.”

‘* What’s that ?”” cried the fishes.

‘Why, you see,” explained Dick, ‘it wouldn’t be fair for us
all to start from the same line, for Fidge, of course, cannot run
as quickly as Marjorie or me; and Marjorie, too, being only a
girl, will have to have a start allowed her, and this is called
handicapping.”

“Very well, manage it your own way,” was the reply.
“When are you going to start?”

‘Oh, as soon as you like,’ said Dick. “Where's the
winning-post ? ” :

*‘That white line up by the King’s throne,” said one
of the fishes. And Dick, having given Fidge a very long



58 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



start, and Marjorie a slight advantage, declared himself ready

to begin.
‘‘One, to make ready,
Two, to be steady,

Three, and—away !”’

shouted one of the principal fishes, and off they scrambled.
I say scrambled, because if you have ever tried to run under
water you will know that it is a very difficult thing to do—the
weight of the water prevents you from getting along at all
quickly. The fishes watching the race became very excited,
and, in their eagerness to urge them on, kept getting in the
children’s way, swimming about in front of them, and getting
mixed up with their arms and legs in a most confusing manner.
At length, however, this extraordinary race came to an end, and
the children arrived at the winning-post in the same order in
which they had started.

“Oh, I’ve won—I’ve won!’ shouted Fidge, delightedly.
“Haven't I, Dick?”

“*Of course you have,” said Dick, who had purposely been
holding back to give the other two a chance.

“ Shall I get a prize ?’’ whispered the little boy, anxiously.

‘* Perhaps,’’ answered Dick; ‘‘ wait and see.”

Their little friend, the thin fish, had gone up to the King, and
was talking very earnestly to him, and presently returning said
that His Majesty had decided to give them all a prize.

“Oh, I wonder what it will be!” said Marjorie, excitedly.
‘Fancy, having a prize from a real King!”

“* He’s only a fish,” said Dick.



The Human Race. 59



3

‘“‘ Hush, dear, you'll hurt his feelings,” whispered Marjorie,
warningly.

Just then the thin fish put on his top hat—he was the only

«





















‘“THEY WERE CALLED BEFORE THE KING TO RECEIVE THEIR PRIZE.”

one allowed to wear one in the King’s presence—and began a
long speech. He spoke so very softly, though, that no one

could hear a word that he said; but, at regular intervals, all



60 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



the other fishes clapped their fins, and called out, ‘‘ Hear,
hear!” most enthusiastically.

“Whatever do you do that for?” enquired Dick, of one of
them; “I’m sure you cannot hear a word of what he is
saying.”

“Oh, no, we can’t,” admitted the fish, quite candidly;
‘‘but it’s the proper thing to do, you know, it encourages
him so.”

After the speech the children were called before the King
to receive their prize.

His Majesty did not speak to them, but motioned majestically
to a large branch of pink coral near the throne, and they were
thus given to understand that it was intended for them as a
prize.

Of course, they pretended to be highly gratified, though, in
reality, they were greatly disappointed.

“Stupid old thing! it’s not a bit of use, even if we could
carry it,” muttered Dick; and Fidge, too, was so cross that he
nearly quarrelled outright with a perky little fish who had been
standing, hat in hand, near him, and who now came and sat
down so close to him that his sharp scales scratched the little
fellows bare legs.

A moment afterwards, however, they had all forgotten their
ill-humour in their amusement at what was happening, for the
King having withdrawn, the rest of the fishes each took a
partner, and began whirling round and round in a frantic way
in a mad kind of dance, to the strains of some weird music,

provided by one or two of their number blowing through some



The Human Race. 61.



long shells, whilst others used some smaller flat ones as
castanets.

“‘T suppose this is what is called a fish ball,” said Dick,
laughing heartily at the strange antics which the fishes were
cutting.

And just as Marjorie was about to reply a dark shadow



‘‘WHIRLING ROUND AND ROUND IN A FRANTIC WAY.”

passing overhead caused all of the children to look up.
A pair of large webbed feet were seen slowly paddling above
them, and beyond them the outline of a bird’s body could be
traced.
Marjorie seized Dick’s arm excitedly. ‘* Look! look!” she
exclaimed, hastily, ‘‘ the Dodo! ”





CHAPTER VIII.

The Dodo at Rast.

REALLY believe it is the Dodo,” said Dick.
“Only I’m not quite sure if his feet were webbed.”

“Oh, I don’t think they were,” declared
Marjorie. ‘‘ Now don’t you think,” she continued, excitedly,



“that it would be best for us just to swim quietly up to him,
and catch hold of his legs; you see, he couldn’t possibly get
away then, and ——”

“All right,” interrupted Dick. ‘Come on—steady now, so
as not to alarm him.”

The feet above them were paddling leisurely along, and the
children had no difficulty in quickly catching up to the bird,
and, with a triumphant shout, Dick clutched hold of one leg,
while Marjorie and Fidge hung on to the other.

‘There was immediately a great outcry from above the water.

“Help! Help! Fire! Police! Thieves!” cried a voice,



The Dodo at Last. 63



and the feet began to kick so violently that the children had.
quite a difficulty to keep their hold.

In response to the cries a number of other birds came flying
to the rescue, and “ splush,” ‘ splash,” sounded on all sides as
they settled
down on the
water.

“What is
the matter ?”
cried several

voices at

once.
“Oh!” cried
the bird which

the children
had captured,
beating his

wings about



violently, and
creating a terrible con-
fusion, ‘‘a crab or some-
thing has caught hold of
my legs, and I am being “THE DODO TRIED TO FOLLOW THEIR
killed—help !—save me ! Eee oss
—save me!”

A confused sound of voices followed, and presently one or
two heads appeared below the water; they were hastily with-

drawn, however, and, with an alarmed cry of “ Sharks!” the



64 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



other birds all flew away, leaving their luckless companion to
his fate.

The bird, when he found himself deserted by his friends,
made more frantic efforts than ever to escape; and the beating
of his wings upon the water caused the whole party to move
slowly along.

“What are we to do now ?”’ whispered Marjorie; “ we can’t
drag him underneath, or he’d be drowned, you know.”

‘Oh, let’s hang on,” cried Dick, “ perhaps he will drag us
along till we come to land somewhere. I say,” he shouted,
“are you the Dodo, or not?”

His voice could evidently not be heard above the water, for
there was no reply from the bird, which continued making a
terrific outcry, using every effort to get away from them.

Presently, just as Dick had suggested, some rocks came in
sight, and the children could see that they were being gradually
dragged towards the shore.

In a few minutes they had the satisfaction of being able to
scramble out of the water, when they discovered, to their great
dismay, that their captive was not the Dodo at all, but a great
wild goose, who, when they hurriedly released his legs, waddled
awkwardly ashore, and gazed at them with reproachful eyes.

A little way inland the Dodo himself could be seen standing,
surrounded by an excited group of birds, who, when they
caught sight of the children emerging from the water, immedi-
ately took to flight, screaming, in horrified tones—

“The Sharks! The Sharks! Here come the Sharks!”

The Dodo tried to follow their example, and for a moment it



The Dodo at Last. 65



looked as though the children would lose him after all; but
it soon became evident that the creature could not fly, for after
wildly beating the air for awhile, with his little apologies for
wings, the miserable bird fell squalling into the water, while
his companions disappeared in the distance.

“Help! Help!” he screamed, as he struggled with the
waves. ‘Don’t you see that I’m drowning? Oh! Oh!
Help! Help!”

“¢ Swim ashore,” cried the children.

“T can’t,” was the reply, in a faint voice. “I can’t swim.
Oh !—oh! there go my poor, dear gloves.’’ This last as his
wings, which he had been holding up out of the water, sank
exhausted to his side.

Dick plunged in, and soon brought the bird to shore, where
he stood for a moment or two, ruefully regarding his white kid
gloves, which the salt water had completely ruined, while the
bow of his necktie had slipped around to the back of his
neck.

“A pretty figure I shall cut now at the Ichthyosaurus’ At
Home,” he grumbled. “It’s all your fault, too,” he declared,
ungratefully disregarding the fact that Dick had just rescued
him from a watery grave. ‘‘ What do you want with me,
anyhow ?”

“Why, you see,” hastily explained Dick, “the Ambassador
to the Little Panjandrum sent us in search of you, and if we
don’t take you back in less than a week we’re to be—er—er—
something with an awfully long name —— ”

“I know—Subtransexdistricated, that’s it, isn’t it?” said

E



66 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



the Dodo. “They always threaten to do that to people.
Ough ! it’s perfectly horrible!” he cried, shuddering.

‘‘What’s it like?” asked the children, in an awe-stricken
whisper.

“Why,” explained the Dodo, “you are mygrylaled in
pslmsms till you saukle, and then you are taken out and
gopheled on both sides for a fortnight. Ough! it’s dreadful
to think about, and I wouldn’t .dream of putting you to the
risk of having it done to you. So I suppose I shall have to go
back,” he added, with a sigh. “It’s jolly awkward, though!
Oh, I hate him!” he said, stamping his claw violently. |

“ Who?” enquired the children.

“The Little Panjandrum,’’ was the reply. ‘‘ Nasty, conse-
quential little prig! And who is he, I should like to know?
Panjandrums are not to be mentioned in the same breath as
Dodos—we are a much more ancient family than they are, and,
besides, we are extinct,” he said, proudly.

“Oh, yes, of course,” agreed Dick, who did not care to go
into the Dodo’s private grievances, and who certainly did not
care to run the risk of being ‘‘ gopheled on both sides,” what-
ever that might mean; ‘but don’t you think we had better be
going now?”

“How are we going to get back?” demanded the Dodo,
abruptly. ‘I can’t swim, and I can’t fly. You'll have to
carry me.”

“Good gracious!” exclaimed Marjorie, in dismay. “I’m
sure we can’t do that! Why, you are as big as we are!”

** Well, I’m sure I don’t know what is to be done,” said the



The Dodo at Last. 67



Dodo. ‘I won’t get into the water again for anyone, so there.”

Just then, Fidge, who had been playing on the shore, ran
back with the news that the little thin fish wanted to speak
to them.

“Oh! Sorry to trouble you,” he began, popping his head
out of the water and
raising his hat po-
litely ; ‘but His
Majesty sent me to
enquire how you
were getting on. I
see you have found
him,’’ he added,
pointing to the Dodo.

“Yes; but now
we are in another
fix,” cried the chil-
dren; ‘we don’t
know how to get the

creature home.”’



“Who are you
calling a creature?”
said the Dodo, sulkily.

“Well, what else are you?”’ demanded Dick. ‘‘ You’re an

‘“THE DODO CUT A STRANGE FIGURE.”

awful nuisance, anyhow, and I don’t know how we are going
to get you away from this place, I’m sure.”

“There are the Dolphins,” suggested the little fish.

““ Why, yes, of course,” cried Dick. “I had forgotten them.



68 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



I suppose you can ride a Dolphin, can’t you?” he enquired of
the Dodo.

“Don’t know. Never tried. Daresay I could,” answered
the bird, sullenly.

The fish disappeared, and returned a few minutes later with
the three Dolphins in tow.

Fidge was more than delighted to see the “horses,” as he
called them, again, and lost no time in getting astride of one;
the others followed more deliberately, Marjorie taking her seat
beside Fidge on the same fish.

The Dodo cut a strange figure, and looked very nervous at
first, as he clung to the slippery back of his strange steed.

He seemed to feel at ease after a time, however, and when
the children had bade their kind little friend, the thin fish,
““Good-bye,” the party started off at a fine pace.

‘‘ By-the-bye, have you any idea where we are going to?”
remarked the Dodo, after they had been rushing along for
some time. .

“Good gracious, no!” exclaimed Dick. ‘I thought you
were directing us.”

““T haven’t the remotest idea where we are,” said the Dodo,
coolly.

“Why, then, we’re lost!” cried Marjorie, in dismay.

“ Mother told me,” said Fidge, solemnly, “that if I ever got
lost, I was to ask a policeman to take me home.”

“Yes, but I’m afraid there are no policemen about here,”’
laughed the others.

“What we had better do,” said Dick, “is to push on till



The Dodo at Last. 69



we come to land somewhere, or a ship, and enquire the way

back.”

This was thought to be the best plan to pursue, and the
children hurried along till Marjorie noticed that both the

air and the water were growing fresher every moment, and

she was just beginning
to wonder what they
were going to do if
it grew much colder,
when Dick cried out,
in quite a nautical
style—

“‘Land on the lar-
board side!”

“* Hooray !”” shouted
the others, “now we
shall find out where
we are,” and _ they
headed the Dolphins
to where they could
see a rough kind of
landing-stage.

The country looked |



‘““AT THE ENTRANCE WAS A LARGE
WALRUS, SMOKING.”’

very bleak and bare, but a little hut was visible a short
distance from the shore, and the children, having fastened
up the Dolphins to one of the wooden piles, assisted the
Dodo to alight, and made their way towards it.

At the entrance they saw a large Walrus with a pipe



70 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



in his mouth, and on the ground beside him an Esquimaux
dog, also smoking.
Dick and the others hurried forward, and bowed politely.
“Wie geths?” said the Walrus, taking the pipe from his
mouth, and immediately putting it back again, while the little
dog glanced at them inquisitively out of the corners of
his eyes.









CHAPTER IX.

At tBe Morth Mole.




BA HAT does he mean?” asked Marjorie, staring blankly
4 at her brother.

‘‘T don’t know,” confessed Dick. ‘‘I beg your
pardon,” he went on, addressing the Walrus, ‘“ but I didn’t
quite hear what you said.”

“ Sprechen sie Deutsch ?’? enquired the Walrus, with an.
encouraging smile.

“JT can’t tell what the chap is talking about,” said Dick,
turning to the others in dismay.

“‘Dond’t you undershtandt German, eh?” said the Walrus.
** Ach! dat vos verry bad,” and he shook his head reproachfully.

“T don’t know,” argued Dick. ‘I can’t see that it matters
much. Weare not likely to go there, you know.”

“Not?” said the Walrus, lifting his eyebrows. ‘ Vell, dere



72 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



vos some funny peoples in der vorld. Perhaps you dond’t vant
to go dere?”

**Not much,” admitted Dick.

The Walrus shrugged his shoulders, and looked com-
miseratingly at the dog, who gave a sniff, and shrugged his
shoulders too.

“What we want to know,” said -Dick, in a businesslike way,
‘“‘is, Where are we now, and how are we to get back to
England?”

‘Vell, you vas in Germany now,” said the Walrus.

“Germany!” exclaimed the children, in surprise. “Why,
we're quite near to England, then.”

“No,” said the Walrus, shaking his head.

‘““ But we must be,” persisted Dick.

“No,” repeated the Walrus. “ Dis is not der Germany you
mean, but id is Germany all der same—most of der vorld is
Germany.”

“What nonsense!” laughed Dick. ‘I’m sure it isn’t. Why,
there’s heaps of places besides Germany. There’s—er—Africa,
for instance ——”

“Thadt’s Germany!” said the Walrus, nodding violently.

“ Africa is?” cried Dick. |

“Yah! das is so,” said the Walrus. “ Africa, und China, und
alle der blaces—dey is all Germany.”

“The chap is evidently a little wrong in the head,” explained
Dick to the others in a whisper. “‘ Never mind; don’t take
any notice. Well, to come to the point, can you direct us
home again, that is the question?” he asked, aloud.



At the North Pole. 73



‘“No,” said the Walrus, shaking his head.
“Or to the Equator?” suggested the Dodo, smoothing out
his gloves.

FoR

M3

OUTFITS \\
“ICl ON : AN
ISPRECHEN SIE KLONDYKE | sey, ‘
Sow

DEUTSCH HE 62an HOUR -
ye ss

SS

! all

WN



@ ‘'THE CHILDREN FOUND THEM
= 2 EXCEEDINGLY COMFORTABLE.”

The Walrus stared for a moment, and then, pointing to
the Dodo with the stem of his pipe, enquired, “ Vat is
dat ting?”



74. The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



The Dodo drew himself up to his full height, and gave him a
withering look. ‘‘ How dare you?” he cried.

“Vell, vat is id, anyhow?” chuckled the Walrus. “I never
saw somethings like id before, never! ”

“ Of course not,” said the Dodo, with dignity. “Our family
have been extinct for some time.”

“Vell, und vy didn’t you keep so?” asked the Walrus. “ It
vas der best ting vat you could do. Dere is no goot for such
tings like you to be aboudt.”

“Come along,” said the Dodo, turning to the others; “let’s
go. I was never so insulted in all my life.”

“Ach! dond’t ged in a demper,” said the Walrus, com- -
placently. ‘Dat is no goot also. Come, I show you der vay
to der Equador—dat is Germany, too,” he added, in paren-
thesis. ‘ Bud you must haf some glothes first to vare,” he
cried, looking at the children’s scanty garments. “Id is so
gold dere.”

“Cold at the Equator?” laughed Marjorie. ‘Why, I
always thought that it was very hot.”

“Ach ! dat is so,” said the Walrus. “But id is der gedding
dere dat is so gold. Come, I gif you some oudtfids,” and he led
the way into the little hut, which was hung all around with
clumsy-looking fur garments, which, however, when they had
got into them, the children found to be exceedingly comfortable.

Besides the clothes, there were all kinds of stores piled up
around the inside of the hut, anda quantity of snow-shoes of
various shapes, and little sleds, like those which Dick remem-
bered having seen in pictures of Polar expeditions.



At the North Pole. 75



When the children had been accommodated with some
garments, the Walrus turned to the Dodo, and said, “ Vell,
now, I egspecdt dat you vant some glothes, too, dond’t id?”

‘No, thank you,” said the Dodo, proudly, settling his necktie



‘‘*wHaT !’ CRIED THE
DODO, ‘TAKE OFF
MY GLOVES?

NEVER!?”

and folding his wings primly. ‘‘I have my gloves; they are
quite sufficient.”

“Bud you haven’t anyting on your body,” said the Walrus.
“You bedder haf some glothes, eh?” and he kindly brought



76 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.





forth some very large leather breeches, which the Dodo, after
some hesitation, consented to put on.

Next the Walrus took down a rough, hairy coat, with mittens
attached to the sleeves.

““Gom, put your arms in dis,” he said, “‘ and trow avay dose
gloves you got on.”

“What!” cried the Dodo, ‘‘take off my gloves? Never!”

And he wouldn’t either; but put his wings (such as he
had) into the coat sleeves with the gloves still on the end
of them.

“Now you musdt haf some stores,” said the Walrus, going
to a cupboard, and bringing out some tins of sardines, some
jam, and other things, which he carefully tied on to the sled.

““ Now ve are ready to stardt,” he said, when these prepara-
tions were completed; and after harnessing the little dog to
the sled the party made a move.

‘““T haven’t the least idea where we are going to,” said Dick,
as they walked along; ‘‘ have you?”

“Not the slightest,” said the Dodo. ‘I don’t suppose it
matters much, though, as long as we get somewhere or
another.”

The old Walrus was trudging along in front, leading Fidge
(who seemed to have taken a violent fancy to him) by the
hand; presently he stopped in front of a big round hole, and
waited for the others to catch up to him.

‘Here ve are,” he said, pointing to the enormous hole,
which looked like the crater of an extinct volcano lined
with ice.



At the North Pole. : 77



‘“‘ Whatever is that ?”” asked Marjorie, peering over the edge
curiously.

“Der North Bole,” said the Walrus. “Id vas German,
too,” he added, emphatically.

‘““The North Pole!” exclaimed the children. ‘‘ Why, there
isn’t any pole at all!”

‘“No,” said the Walrus, ‘‘ das is so, id vas meldted all avay.”
’ “ Good gracious!” cried Dick.

“Yah! id vas mit der lightning struck, und meldted all avay,
und made a big hole in der ground all der vay trough der earth to
der Equador. Id vas made in Germany, dat pole,” he added.

The children gazed with wondering eyes into the deep, dark
hole, and Marjorie clung to Dick’s arm nervously. ‘‘ How
wonderful!” she exclaimed ; ‘but I’m glad we’ve seen where
it was, aren’t you, Dick ?”

But Dick was thinking deeply.

“Are you sure it went right through to the Equator?” he
asked of the Walrus.

‘Yah!’ said that worthy, “for sure.”

“Then if we slid through, we should come out at the other
end?” said Dick.

“Yah! das is so,” said the Walrus, nodding violently.

“ Well, then, I think we’ll do it,” said Dick, boldly.

“©Oh, Dick!” cried Marjorie, in alarm.

‘Well, why not?” said Dick, for, really, so many strange
things had happened that nothing seemed impossible to him
now. ‘It would be rather jolly to see what it’s like at the

other end, and it’s no use stopping here. Do you know



78 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



your way from the Equator?” he added, turning to the
Dodo. .

“Yes,” said the bird, who was quite ready to start on the
perilous voyage, and, grasping Fidge by the hand, he gave

























‘WELL, GOOD-BYE,’ SAID DICK.”

a loud whoop, and began to slide down the steep incline.
‘* Well, good-bye,” cried Dick, hurriedly shaking hands with
the Walrus. “Thanks for all your kindness.” And, jumping



At the North Pole. 79



on the sled behind Marjorie, he pushed off, and they shot over
the edge after the others.

They just caught a glimpse of the little dog throwing
up his arms in surprise, and as they disappeared into space
they heard the old Walrus crying, in an anxious voice—

“Gom back! gom back! I forgot to tell you somedings.”







GHAP TER] X:.

Some (ew Acquaintances.

maT was all very well for the Walrus to shout ‘‘ Come
back!” but that was a matter of utter impossibility,



for down—and down—and down the children sped
at a terrific rate, so quickly indeed that after a moment or two
they must have lost their senses completely, for not one of
them could remember anything about the marvellous journey
through the centre of the earth.

“It seemed,” Dick explained afterwards, ‘‘as though we
were falling through a big black hole for hours and hours, and
then, all of a sudden, it was light again, and we shot out into
the air at the other end.”

The children were greatly relieved to find that they were not
expected to walk on their heads, as they had vaguely feared
might have been the case on the other side of the world. ‘But,

of course,” Marjorie explained, ‘‘ we are not really quite on the





Some New Acquaintances. 81



other side, or we should be at the South Pole, and that would
be as cold as where we came from, wouldn’t it, Dick ?”

‘“‘T suppose so,”’ answered Dick, looking about him. ‘‘ Well,
this place is hot enough, anyhow, whew!” and he unbuttoned
the heavy fur coat which he had been glad enough to put on a
short time before.

‘We are probably somewhere near the Equator,” remarked
the Dodo, pointing to the palms and other tropical plants to be
seen on every side. ‘I’ve heard that this sort of thing grows
there.”

“In that case we have only to find out where the sea is, and
* wait on the shore for a passing ship to come and take us back
to England,” said Marjorie, who was as fond as her brother of
reading books of adventure, and so knew exactly what to expect
under the circumstances.

Fidge had divested himself of his snowshoes and heavy Arctic
outfit, and was eagerly chasing some gaudy butterflies which
were flitting about amongst the bright tropical flowers, and the
others, feeling the heat very oppressive, were glad to follow his
example, and get rid of their cumbersome clothing. Marjorie
made a neat little bundle of them, and hid them behind a big
stone, and then, calling Fidge to them, the party set out to
explore the surrounding country.

They had not gone far before they heard a voice crying out
in a peremptory way—

“Now then! move on, there!”

The Dodo was highly indignant at being addressed in this
unceremonious way, particularly as he once more displayed

F



82 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



his white kid gloves and his bright necktie, and, consequently,
imagined that he presented a dignified and imposing appearance.

“Who's that?” he cried, looking about him angrily.

“Now then, move on! Do your hear?” cried the voice
again.

The children stared to the right and left, in front of them,
and behind them, but no one was in sight.

“‘That’s very strange!” exclaimed Dick. ‘‘ Whoever can
itsbei?”*

“ Will you move on, there?” shouted the voice, louder than
ever, and, looking up into the trees, the children saw a huge
green parrot, with a red tail, hanging down from one of the
branches by one claw, while he shook the other at them
menacingly.

“* Bah! it’s only a parrot,” said the Dodo, in a contemptuous
voice.

“What!” screamed the bird; ‘ only a parrot, indeed. Who
are you, I should like to know?”

“We're tourists,’ said the Dodo, importantly. ‘ These—
ahem—gentlemen, and this lady and myself, are on our way to
visit the Ichthyosaurus, while you are merely a common or
garden parrot, and not at all a fit and proper person for us to
be seen talking to. Come along,” he added to the others,
grandly, and started to walk off with his beak in the air.

“Hoity, toity! Not so fast,” said the parrot. “I’ve no
doubt you think yourself very grand with your kid gloves and
your consequential airs; but allow me to inform you that I

am someone of consequence in these parts, too. I ama police



Some New Acquaintances. 83



officer, and regulate the traffic, so move on, there, and don’t
block the way.”

“Oh!” cried Marjorie, ‘if this—er—” (she was going to
say ‘‘ bird,” but thought perhaps the parrot might be offended,
and she certainly couldn’t say “‘ gentleman,” so she got out of
it this way)—‘‘if this is a police officer, perhaps he could be
kind enough to direct us to where the steamboats start for
England.”

“T daresay I could if I wanted to,” said the parrot, ungra-
ciously, “‘ but I don’t choose. Move on! You are stopping the
traffic.”

“What nonsense! you ridiculous bird; there is not any
traffic,” said Dick.

“Oh! isn’t there? A lot yow know about it,” replied the
parrot. ‘‘ There’s a vehicle coming along this way now.”

The children turned around, and, sure enough, there was a
something coming down the road, though what it was the
children couldn’t determine till it came a little closer. They
waited and waited, but it scarcely seemed to move at all, and,
at last, Dick, whose curiosity was greatly aroused, proposed
going to meet it.

“Let’s go and fetch the clothes the Walrus gave us first,”
suggested Marjorie, wisely, and so they ran off to the rock
behind which they had hidden them.

To their great surprise, they found a party of apes and
monkeys calmly trying the things on, and apparently enjoying
themselves very much indeed. The snowshoes seemed to

puzzle them considerably, however, and they were undecided



84 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



whether to regard them as musical instruments or a novel form
of headgear.
“Hi! Just you put those clothes down at once!” shouted
Dick. ‘‘ How dare you interfere with our things!”
“They’re not yours,” said one of the monkeys. ‘“‘ Findings

keepings. We found them, and so they are ours.”’










UP

Wy



‘““THE SNOWSHOES SEEMED TO PUZZLE THEM SOMEWHAT.”

‘Indeed they are not. Give them back at once! ’? demanded
Dick.

““Shan’t!” screamed the monkeys, impudently, and, scam-
pering up into the trees beyond the children’s reach, they made



Some New Acquaintances. 85



grimaces at them, and openly defied them. Indeed, one of
them went so far as to climb up into a cocoanut palm and
began pelting the children with the nuts.

Fortunately, none of them reached the mark, however, and
the children, hastily gathering one or two of the cocoanuts,
abandoned the clothes, which, really, were not of much value
to them now, and fled.

This little incident had almost driven from their mind the
recollection of the vehicle which they had seen in the high
road, but a rumbling sound, as they neared the place where
they had last seen it, reminded them of the fact, and they
hurried up to the spot from whence the sounds proceeded.

To their great astonishment, they found a clumsy-looking
cart, somewhat resembling the pictures which they had seen of
the old Roman chariots, to the shafts of which a sleepy-looking
sloth-bear was attached.

‘‘Ha! ha! what a funny horse,” laughed Fidge. “It is a
horse, isn’t it, Dick?”

“No,” said Dick; ‘‘I don’t think so.”

“Horse! no, indeed,” said the Dodo. ‘It’s a kind of
camel.”

“T ain’t,” said the sloth-bear, with a yawn.

“You shouldn’t say ‘ain’t,’” said the Dodo, rebukingly.
“What are you, then?”

There was no answer, the creature had gone to sleep.

“Wake up! wake up!” cried the Dodo, shaking him
violently. ‘‘ The idea of dropping off to sleep when anyone

is talking to you!”



86 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



“J thought you were going to preach,” explained the sloth-
bear. ‘‘ You began talking about something that I shouldn’t
do or say, and I always go to sleep when people talk to me like
that—it’s so stupid of them.”

“Where are you going to?” asked the Dodo.

“*T don’t know,” was the reply. ‘‘ Where are you?”

RY TI\\

on iN

|



w |
oe ©

Vi

I SHALL GET VERY ANGRY IN A MINUTE,’ SAID THE DODO.”

““We want to get to the place where the steamers start for
England,” explained Marjorie.

“‘ Jump in, then,” said the sloth-bear, jerking his head in the
direction of the cart ; and the children, highly delighted at the
prospect of a ride, all scrambled in.

Dick took the reins, and Marjorie made herself comfortable






Some New Acquaintances. 87



beside him, while Fidge dangled his legs over the back of the
“chariot,” the Dodo solemnly squatting down at his side,
with his gloves carefully displayed, and his necktie properly
adjusted.

“Now then,” said Dick, shaking the reins, ‘‘ we are ready to
start. Go on, please.”

There was no answer, and it transpired that the creature was
asleep again.

“Good gracious!” said the Dodo, impatiently, ‘‘we shall
never get anywhere at this rate. I say, do wake up,” he cried,
going up to the sloth-bear and giving him a good shake.

“Oh! are you ready?” said that individual, waking up
slowly. ‘‘ Come on, then!” and he took two or three steps
forward, and then stopped to rest, his eyes gradually closing,
and his head beginning to sink.

‘““Come, come!” said the Dodo, getting in front of him,
grasping the reins, and pulling with all his might. “I shall get
very angry with you in a minute. It’s perfectly ridiculous
going on in this way; however do you imagine we are to get
to our destination if you waste time in this manner ?”

The answer was a loud snore from the sloth-bear, who had

once more fallen into a deep sleep.









CHAPTER XI.

TBe Ahipper of tbe Argonaut,

ELL, of all the stupid creatures,’ said the Dodo,
‘*T think that this is the most remarkable. Here,
I say! Wake up, will you!” and he gave the



reins another sharp pull.

The sloth-bear blinked his eyes, sleepily, and muttered,
““What’s up?”
| “Why, aren’t you going to make a start?” enquired the
Dodo, angrily ; “ how do you suppose we shall ever get to our
destination if you go on like this?”

The sloth-bear, after staring vacantly awhile slowly shook
his head. ‘Speed not to exceed quarter of a mile an hour,
them’s my orders,” he said, ‘‘and four times nine is—er—
ninety-nine, so you'll get there about next Thursday week.
Y—ah—a—a—ow,” and he gave another tremendous yawn, as

his head sank between his knees again.



The Skipper of the Argonaut. 89



“Good gracious! what’s to be done?” said Dick, getting
down from the chariot. ‘‘It’s not the slightest use our trying
to go anywhere in this thing.”

“What did he mean by saying four times nine were ninety-
nine? They ain’t,” said Fidge, “’cos I know my ‘ four times,’
and four nines are thirty-six.”

“‘ Perhaps it was something to do with the number of miles
we shall have to travel before we reach the place where the
ships start from,” suggested Marjorie.

‘Wake him up again, will you, please?’’ she said, turning
to the Dodo. ‘‘ Perhaps he will tell us.”

“ All right,” said the Dodo, ‘‘ I'll wake him up. Here!” he
cried, going up to the sloth-bear, and giving him a good shake.
“Wake up! Wake up!”

The creature slowly lifted his head, and, staring reproachfully
at the Dodo, began to cry. ‘‘ Boo—hoo—hoo! Boo—hoo—
hoo!” he sobbed. ‘‘ It’s a shame, it is.”

“What's the matter now, cry-baby?” asked the Dodo.

*“Why can’t you let me alone?” whined the sloth-bear.
“T’ve never done nothing to you, have 1? Why can’t you let
a poor beast sleep in peace ?”

“Oh, for goodness’ sake let the lazy old thing go to sleep if
it wants to,’? said Dick, impatiently, while tender-hearted
Marjorie went up to the creature and stroked and comforted it
as best she could.

Her pity was wasted, however, for almost before the last
words were out of its mouth the sloth-bear was snoring peace-

fully with a contented smirk on its face.



Full Text
xml record header identifier oai:www.uflib.ufl.edu.ufdc:UF0008893300001datestamp 2008-12-11setSpec [UFDC_OAI_SET]metadata oai_dc:dc xmlns:oai_dc http:www.openarchives.orgOAI2.0oai_dc xmlns:dc http:purl.orgdcelements1.1 xmlns:xsi http:www.w3.org2001XMLSchema-instance xsi:schemaLocation http:www.openarchives.orgOAI2.0oai_dc.xsd dc:title The little panjandrum's dodo dc:creator Farrow, G. E ( George Edward ), b. 1866Wright, Allan ( Illustrator )Curtis & Beamish, Ltd ( Printer )dc:subject Dodo -- Juvenile fiction ( lcsh )Wit and humor, Juvenile ( lcsh )Voyages and travels -- Juvenile fiction ( lcsh )Brothers and sisters -- Juvenile fiction ( lcsh )Kings and rulers -- Juvenile fiction ( lcsh )Juvenile fiction -- London (England) ( lcsh )Fantasy literature -- 1899 ( rbgenr )Nonsense verse -- 1899 ( rbgenr )dc:description b Statement of Responsibility by G.E. Farrow ; illustrated by Allan Wright.dc:publisher Frederick A. Stokes Companydc:date 1899dc:type Bookdc:format viii, 210 p., 1 leaf of plates : ill. ; 20 cm.dc:identifier http://www.uflib.ufl.edu/ufdc/?b=UF00088933&v=00001002226077 (aleph)269362406 (oclc)ALG6359 (notis)dc:source University of Floridadc:language Englishdc:coverage United States -- New York -- New YorkEngland -- Coventry







The Baldwin Library

Rm B University



Che Bitte |
— Panjandeum’s Bodo.


ee rage
yy Neen Co. a gow

Lf Oo
Gee

a vn



“ HOPE YOU’RE FEELING BETTER, SIR.”
TSE ILO

CANJANDRUM’S DODO.

BY
G. E. FARROW,
Author of ‘THE WaLiypuG oF Way,” ‘‘' THE MissiING PRINCE,”

‘C ADVENTURES IN WALLYPUG-LAND,” ETC., ETC.

Illustrated by
ALLAN WRIGHT.

NEW YORK:
FREDERICK A. STOKES COMPANY,
5 anD 7, EAST 16TH STREET.

1899.


To my Dear LITTLE FRIENDS.

Here is another book! I hope it will be as fortunate in pleasing
you, as the others seem to have been, if I may judge from the many kind
and gratifying letters which have reached me from boys and gicls, of
all ages and sizes, and from all parts of the world.

And in connection with these letters, which I always try (though
the pleasurable task grows heavier year by year) to answer myself, I
have had the misfortune to lose a large packet of unanswered ones; so
if any of my little correspondents have written to me during the past
year, and have not received a reply, will he or she write to me again,
and give me an opportunity of repairing the omission ?

Iam getting quite proud of my gallery of photographs, which my little
friends have sent me, and which, I think, please me almost more than
anything else, if I may except a beautiful Persian kitten which has
come as a present from a little girl at Hereford, and which is a prime
favourite with everyone here, including Dick, my little terrier, who—
although he ought to know better at his age, being over eight—“ galumphs”

about in an absurdly clumsy manner, under the mistaken impression that
vi.
he is playing with it. He only succeeds, however, in making himself
ridiculous in the eyes of the kitten, who, despite his years, treats him with
little or no respect, and does not hesitate to box his ears, and bite his tail
whenever it feels so disposed.

But I see my space is nearly exhausted, so must conclude, with very best
wishes, and hoping to hear again from all of my old friends, and as many
new ones as care to write.

Believe me,

Your affectionate friend,

THE AUTHOR.


CHAP.

Il.

III.

IV.

VI.

VIl.

VIIl.

IX.

XI.

XI,





Contents.

PAGE

THE BEGINNING OF A MARVELLOUS JOURNEY I

THE AMBASSADOR EXTRAORDINARY _... oo 9
THE SAGE IN THE ONION FIELD nn eed :
STORIES AND TAILS BY THE SAGE ... Pea
THE KING OF THE FISHES aes ae ERS
IN THE KING’S PRESENCE aes 500 her e460
THE HUMAN RACE Ree es =: eee 53
THE DODO AT LAST ves a8 cs fos O2)
AT THE NORTH POLE ... Se cal Sage
SOME NEW ACQUAINTANCES _... a 1h 80
THE SKIPPER OF THE ‘ARGONAUT” ... OS

THE ARCHAZOPTERYX wa ae ve eee 0
CHAP.
XIII.

XIV.

XV.

XVI.

XVII.

XVIII.

XIX.

XX.

XXI.

XXII.

XXIII.

XXIV.

XXV.

AXXVI.

viii.
THE LITTLE PANJANDRUM’S BALLOON
THE DUFF AND DEM EXECUTIONER ...
THE EXECUTION OF THE DODO
THE PREHISTORIC DOCTOR
WAITING FOR THE TRAIN
A NIGHT IN THE TRAIN
AT THE CRYSTAL PALACE
A DIFFICULTY WITH THE ROUNDABOUT
THE LITTLE PANJANDRUM AT LAST ...
TURNED TO STONE
THE DODO’S LITTLE RUSE
FIRST CLASS TO LONDON
THE DODO OBLIGES WITH A SONG

THE DODO DEPARTS



PAGE

105
113
I2I

129

143
152
160

168

183

Igo

205


CHAPTER I.

The Beginning of a Marvellous Zourney.

SqiICK! Dick! Wake up, I want to tell you some-



thing.” Marjorie stood outside the boys’ bedroom
door, and called in as loud a whisper as she dared,
fearing lest she should awaken the rest of the household.
There was a scuffle and a patter of bare feet inside, and Dick
appeared at the door rubbing his eyes, evidently only half
awake.

** What’s up?” he demanded.

“Hush! don’t make a noise. There’s such a funny sound
downstairs—I believe it’s burglars. Listen !”’

“Pooh! this time in the morning. What nonsense.”

“* Well, it’s been going on for ever so long, anyhow, and hark,

A
2 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



there’s something keeps banging about like anything in the
breakfast-room.”

Dick ran to the top of the stairs and listened. Sure enough,
there was a most mysterious noise going on below,—a dull
banging at regular intervals, and a curious lapping sound, as
though there was water in the lower part of the house.

“ Let’s go and see what’s up!” said Dick, promptly.

“ Me, too,” said a shrill treble voice, and a little curly-headed
apparition came running out of the bedroom, flourishing a
wooden spade.

“No! you cut along into bed again, Fidge,” cried Dick.

‘Want to go and see the bur-ge-lers!” declared Fidge,
pushing past them, and racing down the stairs.

“Come back, you scamp,” cried Dick, running after him ; but
witha saucy and defiant laugh Fidge sped down tothe first landing.

“Ooh!” he cried, looking over the banisters, ‘It’s all
drownded ; look, Dick! quick!”

Dick and Marjorie hurried down and leaned over the
banisters too.

* Hullo! what a lark!’ exclaimed Dick. ‘‘ There’s been a
high tide, and the house is flooded. Come on, this is ripping!”
and the boy dashed down stairs, followed by the others.

The breakfast-room door stood open, and, wading ankle
deep in water, the children soon reached it. An extraordinary
sight met their eyes.

The French windows were open, and the curtains were
blowing about in the breeze, while the sea had risen so high
that the white-capped waves were flowing quite into the room,
The Beginning of a Marvellous Journey. i 3



Ve

in which the utmost confusion prevailed. Chairs and various
light articles were strewn about in all directions, and the table,
by some mysterious. process, had been turned completely over,
and was floating about with its legs sticking up in the air.
It was evi-
dently the
noise which “|
that had4 LS z
made, dash- |
ing against
the door,
which had
awakened
Marjorie.
The chil-
dren stood

silently _re-



garding it for
a moment,
and then
Fidge, with a
delighted ex-

clamation



‘THE WAVES WERE FLOWING INTO THE ROOM.”

cried, “I want a ride in the boat,” and began to scramble into
the overturned table.

“Oh! yes, jolly!” cried Dick, following his example; and
in a moment all three children were comfortably ensconced in
the novel craft.
4 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



Dick found a stick floating about, which he used as a punting
pole, and soon had the table through the window and out into
the garden.

“ll be captain,” he cried, ‘‘and you and Fidge shall be
passengers, Sis.” The drawer of the table turned upside down
made a capital upper deck, and Marjorie settled herself very
comfortably upon it, after Dick had rigged up what he was
pleased to call an awning with a little table cloth, and a piece
of string which he had discovered in the pocket of his pyjamas.

Fidge, however, had no idea of remaining inactive, and
insisted upon taking a part in the management of the craft,
and so Dick made him the ‘‘ Bosun,” and set him to work
rowing with his little wooden spade.

Out in the garden the water became deeper, and Captain
Dick’s pole would not reach the bottom; still, owing to some
mysterious influence, their curious boat drifted merrily on, and
the children did not puzzle themselves in the least as to the
cause of their progress. It was quite enough for them to notice
how strange and unnatural the gardens and all the familiar
surroundings appeared in their present inundated state. The
rose-bushes and hedges looked so funny, growing out of the
water, and there were such a lot of curious things floating
about—a hen-coop, a wash-tub, and an old hamper had hurried
past; and their boat had drifted as far as the gate leading
out into the roadway, when Marjorie jumped up and pointed
excitedly to something floating rapidly towards them.

“Look! Dick, look! there’s an old turkey on a chair coming

along.”
The Beginning of a Marvellous Journey. 5



As the object drew nearer, however, they could see that it
was not a turkey, or, indeed, any bird with which they were
familiar, but a most curious looking creature. It had-an oddly-
shaped beak, webbed feet, and a funny great tuft of feathers for
a tail.

““ Why, the thing has gloves on!” cried Captain Dick.

“And a blue bow around its neck,” chimed in Fidge, his
eyes dancing with excitement.

“Ship ahoy!’’ shouted the bird, as it came close up to
the table.

‘Good gracious! Why it can talk,” said Marjorie.

“Talk! Of course I can,” answered the bird. ‘“‘ Why
not, pray?” .

“Well, birds don’t generally talk, except parrots,” added
Marjorie, as an afterthought.

“Parrots!” exclaimed the bird, stamping furiously on the
seat of the chair; ‘‘I hate ’em—nasty, showy, pretentious, ill-
bred creatures; regular shrieking hypocrites, that’s what I
call ’em.”

‘“‘ What sort of a bird are you, then?” asked Dick.

“I’m a Dodo,” said the creature, with a consequential air.

“Oh! then you are extinct,” said Dick. ‘I read it in a
natural history book.”

“Yes, I am,” admitted the Dodo. “It’s lovely being
extinct,” he added, complacently. ‘‘ Have you ever tried it?”

‘Good gracious, no,” cried Dick.

“What does it mean, Dick, dear?’ whispered Marjorie, who
didn’t like to appear ignorant.
6 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



‘Gone out, I think,” explained Dick. ‘‘ Anyhow, they say
a volcano is extinct when it has gone out.”

“Yes, that’s quite right,” explained the Dodo, with a wink.
‘* Haven’t you ever heard the vulgar expression, ‘ Does your
mother know you're out?’ Well, where I come from, we just
say, ‘Is your maternal relative aware of your extinction?’
instead. It’s the same thing, you know, and sounds ever so
much better. Then, again, it’s most convenient, if anyone
calls whom you don’t wish to see, just to tell the servant to say
that you are extinct, and there is an end of the matter. But I
mustn’t stop here all day, I must be off to sea.”

** Are you going to sea on that chair ?”’ cried Marjorie.

“ Well, it’s as good asa table anyhow, as far as I can see,”
laughed the Dodo. “Yes, I’ve an appointment with an
Ichthyosaurus at the Equator at noon, so I must be off. Good-
bye. Oh! while I think of it, though, if you do come across
him, you might give him my love, and tell him that I’m
extinct, will you please? Ha—ha—he will be amused!”

“Who do you mean?” called out Dick, as the Dodo floated
away on his chair.

‘‘The little Panjandrum,” was the reply; ‘“‘ you are pretty
sure to meet him sooner or later.”

“‘ Oh, we’re going to see the Pan—jan—de—lum,” announced
Fidge, capering about in glee. ‘‘ Hooray!”

In the meantime the table had drifted on till the house was
quite out of sight, and had reached the base of the cliffs,
where the smugglers’ cave was. The children had been there

ever so many times before, and knew of a little gap in the
The Beginning of a Marvellous Journey. 7



rocks where, if only their boat would drift near enough, they
could land, and clamber up to the roadway again. The boat,
however, passed the gap, and
drifted straight underneath
the cave, from whence came
a confused babel of sounds.

The children looked up,
and a moment afterwards a
crowd of the funniest little
people imaginable came: to
the edge and peered over.

“What rum little beg-
pars \eried Dick. “Just
look at their eyes!”

‘““T do believe they are
Brownies, or else Gnomes!”
declared Marjorie, who had
read a great many fairy
stories.

“Nonsense! *’ said Dick,
with a superior air; “there
areno such things nowadays.”

‘Who says so?” shrieked
the little people from the

cave. ‘‘Come up here, and



we'll soon show you.”
“Oh, yes, do!’ cried
Marjorie, clapping her hands

''4 ROPE LADDER WAS LET DOWN.”

“IT should love to see them.”
8 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



‘“‘T don’t see how we are going to get up there,” said Dick,
dubiously ; ‘‘ we haven’t got a ladder.”’

‘‘We have one,” shouted the little people. ‘‘ Shall we let
it down?”

‘‘Oh, yes, please,” clamoured Marjorie, and immediately
afterwards a rope ladder was let down, and one or two of the
little men hung over the ledge to steady it.

“Come along,” cried Marjorie, leading the way, while Fidge
followed next, repeating over and over, with a delighted
chuckle, ‘‘ We are going to see the Pan—jan—de—lum! We

are going to see the Pan—jan—de—lum !”’








CHAPTER II.

Tbe Ambassador Extraordinary.

FAY) the top of the ladder the children found themselves

in the midst of a crowd of curious little pigmies,



dressed in all sorts of quaint and fantastic costumes.

They were the oddest little creatures that you can possibly
imagine, with eyes and ears that seemed to be too big for their
heads, and tiny little spindle legs that looked quite incapable of
supporting their big bodies.

They spoke in a shrill, clear, bell-like voice, which, although
they were such tiny creatures, could be heard distinctly.

“So you don’t believe in fairies, eh! ” they cried, clustering
about the children.

“IT do,” declared Marjorie, stoutly.

‘Yes, and me do, too,” said Fidge, looking about him
delightedly.

“But,” objected Dick, “I’ve always been told that fairies,
10 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



and elves, and gnomes, and things of that sort were merely
myths, and existed only in the imagination of story-tellers.”’

‘““He—he—he,” giggled the little people. ‘The same old
story. They told you that to hide their ignorance, my
child.”

“I’m thirteen years old,” declared Dick, haughtily, for he
did not at all approve of being called a child.

‘““Oh, are you indeed!” was the reply, amid shouts of
laughter. ‘I suppose you think yourself quite a man, and are
consequently too old to believe in the fairies, who are more
than thirteen thousand years old.”

“You know you used to believe in them, Dick,” interposed
Marjorie. ‘‘Don’t you remember how we used to enjoy that
lovely fairy book Aunt ley gave us, and dear old ‘Alice in
Wonderland,’ and

“That was years ago,’ "interrupted Dick, turning very red.
“ve had it all explained to me since that, and I don’t read
those kind of books now.”



“Do you read Shakespeare?” demanded one of the little
folks.

“‘Some of it,” replied Dick, doubtfully.

‘““ Have you ever read ‘ Midsummer Night’s Dream ?’”

“Oh, yes! Jolly! Titania, and Oberon, and Puck, and all
that lot, you know; and the jolly little chaps that ——”

“Hullo! I thought you didn’t believe in fairies,” interrupted
someone.

“Oh, well, that’s different, you know; that’s ae
and—and—— ”
The Ambassador Extraordinary. IL



“And what? I suppose you'll admit that he believed in
them ?”

“Well, I suppose so,” said Dick, grudgingly ; but I ——”

“ But you imagine yourself to be cleverer than Shakespeare.”

‘‘Ha—ha—ha!” laughed a chorus of little people, derisively.

‘Look here! I'll
tell you what it is,”
said the first speaker,
“you have evidently
been taught by some
of those wise old
know-nothings, who
have succeeded in
making you as clever
as themselves, and it
is our intention to
show you how igno-
rant you all are. I
think you will believe

in fairies -before we



have done with you.
‘* FOUR EXTRAORDINARY FIGURES CAME IN SIGHT.”
Now, we are gnomes, :
and have just completed a subterranean passage between here
and the land of the little Panjandrum.”
The word little was spoken so softly as to be quite indistinct.
‘*The what!” cried Dick.
“Sh! the dittle Panjandrum,” said the gnome, speaking the

word almost inaudibly.
12 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



“What do you say it like that for?” asked the children.

‘Well, you see, his Magnificence and Serene Importance is
somewhat sensitive on the subject; there is the GRAND
Panjandrum, you know.”

‘©Oh, I see,” said Dick, ‘‘ and the other chap doesn’t like to
take a back seat, that’s it, is it? Well, who is the LITTLE
Panjandrum, anyhow?”

“Sh! sh!” cried the gnomes, looking about them nervously.
“You really mustn’t say little as loudly as that. Supposing
anyone heard you?”

“Well, what if they did?” asked Dick.

‘““Oh! His Serene Importance would be terribly angry, and
perhaps would —— ”’

What the conclusion of the sentence was to have been the
children never knew, for at that moment there was a loud
clattering noise in the passage leading from the cave, and a
moment afterwards four extraordinary figures came in sight.

They were mounted upon ostriches, and one of them, more
richly caparisoned than the others, had a kind of canopy
attached to his trappings, beneath which sat a stern-faced little
man with an elaborate turban and head-dress. He wore also a
very curious collar, from which depended a large gold ornament
of curious design. He carried in one hand a long pipe, and
with the other guided his strange steed.

The others of the party, who were evidently his attendants,
each carried a banner emblazoned with mysterious signs and
characters.

The silver bells attached to the head of the ostrich, and on
The Ambassador Extraordinary. 13



the top of the canopy over the grandee, tinkled merrily as ‘he
came forward.

“In the name of the little Panjandrum,” he shouted, in a
loud voice, and immediately all the gnomes bowed respectfully
almost down to the ground.

‘‘ His Serene Importance and Most Magnificent Greatness is
grievously dis-
tressed.”

The gnomes
all brought forth
little pocket-
handkerchiefs,
and began to
cry.

‘The Dodo
presented to®
His Worshipful
Gorgeousness
by the GRAND
PANJANDRUM

himself has es- ‘“WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE DODO?”

Eee ———
Gass =
gon att ve

aa.
ue My sa @
a e



caped!”’

The gnomes all threw up their hands in dismay.

‘““ Why, we saw it,” cried Marjorie, excitedly. ‘‘ Didn’t we,
Dick?”

The little man on the ostrich turned around sharply, and
after staring at the children for a moment, shouted—

“Who are you?”
14 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



“T am Dick Verrinder, sir, and this is my sister Marjorie,
and our little brother Fidge,” said Dick, politely. ‘‘ We are
spending our summer holiday at Mrs. Lawrence’s cottage on
the other side of the cliff. The tide rose very high this morning,

>



and we
** Don’t tell me all that nonsense. What do you know about
the Dodo?’’ said the little man, impatiently.

“Why, we met it floating about on a chair, and it told us

Pee



that it was going to the Equator to meet a—a—er—a

“Well?”

“Tt was something with a very long name,’’ stammered
Dick ; ‘‘ I can’t quite remember what.”

** Look here,” said the little man, bending forward excitedly,
“that story won’t do for me. I am the Ambassador Extra-
ordinary of his Magnificence the little Panjandrum, and you
tell me that you have seen the Dodo; that is enough. Now
then! Where is it? It’s no use telling me that it has gone off
to keep an appointment with something with a long name. I
say, where is the bird? If you don’t instantly produce that
Dodo I shall take you before the Court of Inquisitives, and let
them deal with you.”

“But I tell you,” began Dick, while Marjorie clung to his
arm in affright, and Fidge scowled angrily at hearing his

idolized big brother spoken to in this peremptory manner, ‘I

”



tell you that we only saw it for a
‘“That’s quite enough. Don’t argue the point. I shall give
you one week from now, and if at the end of that time you do

not appear at the Palace of the little Panjandrum with the
The Ambassador Extraordinary. 5



Dodo, I shall apply to the GRAND PANJANDRUM himself to have
you subtransexdistricated, so there! ”
ce But ”

‘Not another word. Ink! Paper! Pens!” he commanded,



getting off his ostrich and squatting down before a flat stone,
while the little gnomes ran hither and thither, getting in each
other’s way, and tripping and stumbling about in all directions
in their eagerness to do the Ambassador’s bidding.

**Sit down!” he ordered, and the children sat down on the
ground in front of him. There was a slight difficulty about the
ink at this point, for the gnomes, not being quite strong enough
to carry the inkstand, turned it over on its side to roll it
forward, and of course spilled all the ink. They managed,
however, to gather up some of it in their caps, and so kept the
Ambassador supplied. :

‘*Now then! Know all men by these presents,” he began,
writing the words down as he spake them.

“ He’s going to give us some presents,” whispered Fidge,
giving Dick a nudge. Dick shook his head reprovingly, and
the little man continued—

‘* That whereas three children, named respectively—what did
you say your name was?”

‘‘ Richard Greville Verrinder, Sir.”

“Richard Greville Verrinder, and—what’s your sister’s
name?”

** Marjorie Evelyn Verrinder.”’

“‘ Marjorie Evelyn Verrinder, and —— ”
“Harold Ellis Verrinder,” prompted Dick.
16 ’ The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo,



‘“* Who’s that ?”’ enquired the Ambassador, sharply.

‘‘ My little brother,” was the reply.

“You said his name was Fidge.”’

‘“‘ Oh, yes, but that’s his nickname, you know.”

‘*T don’t know anything of the sort. Now then, just keep
quiet while I finish this document. There,” he continued, when
he had finished writing some mys-
terious-looking words on the paper,
and had attached two enormous
red seals to it—“ that’s your-war-
rant for arresting the Dodo, when
you have found him ; and it is also
an authority from the little Pan-
jandrum for you at any time to
become any size that you wish; to
float through the air at will; and
to live under water if necessary.
So you have everything in your
favour, and I shall expect the
Dodo back in less than a week.



Do you hear? Now I’m off.”
The little man mounted his ‘DICK SUDDENLY SHOT UP TO THE
ostrich, and without saying a Pats Sieger eee
word more to anyone, he and his followers rode off in the
direction from whence they had come.
“Well, I never!’’ said Dick, picking up the scrawl which
had fallen at his feet. ‘‘ Here’s a go! We’ve got to find that

beastly old Dodo in less than a week, or be—what was it ?”
The Ambassador Extraordinary. 17



“I don’t know,” said Marjorie, dolefully, ‘‘it was something
very long, and sounded dreadful.”

“But what’s that he said about our being able to be any
size that we wished? I’m sure I wish I was as tall as father.”

“Me, too,” said Fidge, emphatically.

““And I should love to float about in the air, I’m sure!”
declared Marjorie.

The words were scarcely out of her mouth when she felt her-
self wafted gently off her feet, while at the same moment Dick,
to Fidge’s intense surprise, suddenly shot up to the height of
over six feet, and looked so very ridiculous, that all three of

them burst out into an uncontrollable fit of laughter.








CHAPTER III.

TBe Sage in the Onion Field.

BOW absurd,” laughed Dick, as he looked down from
the—to him—enormous height of six feet. ‘‘ What



a thin, lanky-looking creature, I am, to be sure—
and Fidge, too; he looks perfectly ridiculous ’—for Fidge, also,
was growing amazingly.

‘‘ How did it happen, Dick, dear?” asked Marjorie, in an
awe-stricken voice. ‘‘It seems so funny to be up here in the
air, and yet I don’t feel in the least frightened, do you?”

“Of course not,” said Dick, contemptuously. ‘‘ Why, we
just said we wished to be as tall as the Pater, you know, and it
happened.”

“Oh, yes; and I said I should like to float in the air. I
suppose we can always do what we want to now—how lovely !
Like the ‘ Arabian Nights,’ isn’t it 2?”

“T don’t want to be thin, like a walking-stick,” said Fidge,
in a dissatisfied voice.
The Sage in the Onion Field. 19



‘No, it’s rather horrid,’ said Dick. “* Let’s see; we said as
tall as the Pater, didn’t we ?—not as big. I wonder if that
makes any difference.”

“T want to be as fat as old Mrs. Mofflet,” said Fidge,
mischievously.

The words were no sooner out of his mouth than he dwindled
down to his usual height, and spread out in girth till he exactly
resembled, in appearance, what one looks like in a concave
mirror—that is, he was about twice as wide as he was high.

“Oh, dear! Oh, dear! That’s worse than ever!” laughed
the children, while little Fidge waddled about in an absurd way.

The gnomes were highly amused, and cut the most extra-
ordinary antics in their glee.

“I think perhaps the best thing to do for the present would
be to wish ourselves as we were,” said Dick. “I have no doubt
it will be very useful by-and-bye to be any size we like, but just
now it’s rather awkward.”

“Oh, let’s be little, like the gnomes,” cried Marjorie. “It
will be such fun.”

“All right,” acquiesced Dick; ‘here goes—I wish I were as
little as the gnomes.”

“So do I,” cried Marjorie.

“Me, too!” cried Fidge.

To their great surprise, nothing happened. They waited a
moment or two, staring at each other expectantly, and then
Marjorie cried in a troubled voice—

“Oh, dear! I don’t believe it's going to work, and we shall
have to stay like this for ever.”
20 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



‘What nonsense!’ cried Dick.

‘““T say! I want to be as small as the gnomes,” he shouted.





EEF py
Li
YE
Yy Zz Zo




G
yy
Yi
Vz,
GLE 2
Ve
AA ==
ee oe eB





““HE WAS ABOUT TWICE AS WIDE AS HE WAS HIGH.”

There was no result, however, and the children remained as

they were.
The Sage in the Onion Field. 2I



“Oh! I know,” he cried; “I ought to have the paper that
the Ambassador gave me in my hand. Where is it?”

There was a great whispering amongst the gnomes, and at
last one of them shouted out—

‘We've taken it away.”

“What for?’ demanded Dick. ‘It was given to us; you
had better give it up at once. What do you mean by it?”

There was another whispered consultation, and then one of
the gnomes said, ‘‘ Let them have it for now,” and the paper
was put down upon the ground at Dick’s feet.

Dick stooped down and picked it up, and immediately the
children began to dwindle down till they became as small as the
little people themselves.

They had no sooner done so than the paper which the
Ambassador had given them was suddenly snatched from
Dick’s hand, and a number of the gnomes surrounded them,
dancing about, turning somersaults, playing leap-frog, and
capering about in the maddest way.

** Well, you’ve done it now,” said one of them, tauntingly.

‘What do you mean?” enquired Dick.

“Why, we’ve got the paper, and you can’t grow any bigger
until we allow you to.”

‘“‘ What a mean trick!” cried Dick, in disgust.

‘“‘ Well, we don't think it at all fair,” said the gnomes, “ that
you should be able to grow any size that you want to, while we
have to keep little, so we are going to keep you here for a little
while, and teach you to believe in fairies, do you see?”

‘“‘ But we’ve got to find the Dodo in a week,” expostulated
22 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



Dick, “and if you keep us here, however are we to do
that ?”

“Oh, please give us the paper back,” begged Marjorie. ‘I’m
sure the Pater will be so vexed if we never grow any bigger
than this any more.” And she began to cry a little.

You see, such a lot of very unusual things had happened that °
she was a little excited and nervous.

“Well, we'll think about it,” said the gnomes, running away
and hiding among the rocks.

“ Don’t cry, Marjorie,” ‘said Dick, bravely, though he too felt
a little anxious himself; for, you see, eleven inches is not very
tall for anyone to be, and he didn’t care to admit what would
happen if he went back to school in his present state.

“Chappel Minor has always been cheeky,” he thought, “‘ and
so have Martin and Foster, and if I keep this size they will
think they can do just as they like with me, and probably will
turn me out of the cricket eleven, while that little wretch of a
Castleton is sure to sneak all my pencils—he does now when
he gets a chance.” However, he kept these doleful thoughts to
himself, and devoted himself to the task of consoling his sister
and Fidge, and had soon talked them into such a cheerful
frame of mind, that they really began to think that it was
rather an advantage than otherwise to have lost the paper.

“For one thing, we shall not have to hunt for that old
Dodo,” argued Dick, ‘because even the Grand Panjandrum
himself, whoever he may be, could not expect us to go far away
while we remain as little as this, and so we are not in such

great danger of being—er—er—thingummybobbed—you know
The Sage in the Onion Field. 23



—what the Ambassador said we should be, if we didn't find the
wretched thing.”

‘Supposing we try and find the Ambassador,” suggested
Marjorie. ‘I don’t think he was really very cross, only a little
abrupt, you know; and we could explain everything to him,
and perhaps he would give us a new paper.”

“All right,” said Dick, leading the way. “At any rate, he
will be able to make us grow bigger—that is, if we wish to,” he
added, with a fine affectation of unconcern.

The children walked on for some time in the direction in
which the Ambassador and his followers had disappeared, and
they soon found themselves out of the cave and in a kind of
forest.

‘What funny trees,” said Fidge, looking up over his head.

The others followed his example, and found that he had good
cause for his surprise; the long, smooth trunks, without any
leaves, ended in a kind of ball, while at the roots a kind of
enormous bulb appeared.

“Whatever can they be?’ cried Marjorie, in amazement.

‘“Onions!” was the reply, spoken by a strange voice.

The children turned around, and beheld a curious little old
man with a long flowing beard coming toward them.

“Have you any other questions to ask?” he enquired,
pleasantly.

“It’s very kind of you, Sir,” said Dick, who was the first to
recover from the surprise which they had all experienced
at this sudden apparition. ‘‘ Will you, please, tell us where

we are?”
24 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.
‘©Oh,” said the little man, with a smile, ‘‘ this is the Field of
Onions. And I am the Sage with the snowy beard who dwells

in the Field.of Onions. And that is the Hut of curious build

£)



e,

Oren
ua
Ips tt AN

‘“A CURIOUS LITTLE OLD MAN WITH A FLOWING BEARD

CAME TOWARD THEM.”

which belongs to the Sage with the snowy beard who dwells in
the Field of Onions. ‘
The Sage in the Onion Field. 25



“Ts there anything else I can tell you? If so, pray ask me.
I like it.”

‘What a funny man,” whispered Marjorie. ‘“ Do you think
he is quite right in his head?”

“Hush!” said Dick. ‘Perhaps he can direct us to the
Little Panjandrum’s, and then we can find the Ambassador
easily.”’

“Little Panjandrum’s, certainly,” said the Sage, answering
exactly as though he had been spoken to himself—

“«Take the first to the right on Tuesday week,
The second to the left on Monday ;
On Friday you'll not have far to seek,

And be sure not to travel on Sunday !’

But it’s no use going at all till you've found the Dodo,” he
added.

“Good gracious! how did you know that we were looking
for it,” cried Dick.

“Oh, I know everything,” said the Sage, complacently.
“Did you ever know a Sage who didn’t?”

“Tm afraid I’ve never known one at all before, Sir,” said
Dick ; “‘but I should think it must be very useful to know such
a lot, isn’t it?”

“ Yes, it isn’t bad,’ admitted the Sage; ‘would you like to
know how I became so clever?”

“Oh, yes, please,” cried all the children at once.

Motioning them to a seat on an onion bulb, the little man

struck an attitude, and began—
26 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



“I was brought up on Verbs of irregular kind,
With a Pronoun or two as a treat,
While a strict course of Logic, to strengthen my mind,

My pastors and masters thought meet.

I had Lessons for breakfast, and Sums for my tea,
Learnt to play the Arithmetic nicely,
And gained all the prizes at School—don’t you see,

For construing Doggerel concisely.

They were Isms, and Ologies, Science, and Cram,
Quadratic Equations, and Butter,

The Pons asinorum,; and Strawberry Jam,
And the Cane, did I mumble or mutter.”








CHAPTER IV.

Stories and Tails by Be Sage.

had finished, ‘‘that all those last things were

prizes; because, if so, there isn’t a single one of



them that I should have cared for much, except the Straw-
berry Jam?”

“That only shows a great want of taste on your part,” said
the old Sage, severely. ‘‘Isms and Ologies, and things of that
sort, are very tasty, when you become used to them.”

““What are Isms -and Ologies, if you please, Sir?” asked
Marjorie.

“Qh, there are various kinds,” was the reply. ‘‘ There’s
Ge-Ology, for instance, which is lovely spread on bread-and-
butter; and Zo-Ology, with Aphor-Ism_ sauce, is simply

delicious.”

“They don’t sound very nice,” said Marjorie, dubiously,
making a wry face.
28 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



““You don’t know anything at all about it, I’m afraid, my
dear,” said the little old man, decidedly. ‘‘ You would probably
prefer dolls and foolishness of that sort |”

“Yes, I think I should,” admitted Marjorie, candidly.

‘“Do you know everything, please, Mr. Sage?” enquired
Fidge, who had been very silent during this conversation,
which he had not in the least been able to understand.

“Yes, my dear,” said the Sage, smiling affably.

““Stories?”? enquired Fidge, his eyes wide open with excite-
ment and interest.

The old man nodded.

“Oh! do tell us one, please,” begged the little boy. ‘The
Three Bears, or Little Red Riding Hood, or something of that
sort.”

“Fidge, Fidge,” cried Dick, rebukingly, “you mustn’t
bother the gentleman.”

“Oh, I don’t mind in the least,” said the Sage, pleasantly.
*‘T’ll tell him some stories, if he likes.”

“Oh! thanks, that’s jolly!” cried Fidge, clapping his hands,
and they all sat down again, while the old man began as follows :—

“It’ was on a dark winter’s night, and the hot sun was
pouring down upon the ——”

“Oh!” interrupted Marjorie, “I beg your pardon, but
haven’t you made a mistake? It couldn’t have been dark, you
know, if the sun was shining.” :

The Sage frowned severely.

‘Are you telling this story, or am I?” he asked, coldly.

“Oh, I beg your pardon,” said Marjorie, “ please go on.”
Stories and Tails by the Sage. 29



‘““Was pouring down upon the ship,” continued the Sage,
“and almost freezing the poor soldiers, who had great difficulty
as it was, in dragging the heavy cannon up the steep side of the
mountain, upon which he was standing; still leaning over the
side of the balloon, she peered down eagerly into the sky.
There was not a soul in sight.

“Suddenly a cry of ‘ Fire!’ rang through the town, and two
or three of them hastily putting on their best clothes, joined the
picnic party under the gnarled oak tree in the meadow, and
their joyous laughter rang merrily down the old staircase,
where the grandfather's clock stood, tick-tick-ticking, like the
great volcano which yawned at their very feet, and into
which the two boys plunged merrily, and were soon splashing
about in the shallow water like a mahogany chest of drawers
upon the sands of time.”

The Sage paused.

“Do you like it ?”’” he enquired, anxiously.

“Not much, I’m afraid,” said Dick. “You see, we can’t
quite understand what it’s all about.”

“Well, neither do I,” said the Sage, ‘‘ because, you know,
I’m making it up as I go along.”

‘“‘ Then it isn’t true?” asked Marjorie.

“True? Nonsense! You wanted a story, didn’t you? This
is a real story; there isn’t a particle of truth in it anywhere.”

‘“‘ Oh, we didn’t mean that kind of story,” explained Marjorie,
‘‘we meant a tale.”

‘“ What kind of a tale would you like—a Fishes’ tale, a Birds’

tale, or an Animals’ tale? ”
30 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



“A birds’ tale, please,” said Marjorie, after consulting the
others.

‘All right,” said the Sage, ‘this is a lot of birds’ tales all
tied up together, and is called a fable ——”’
“Ts it one of A’sop’s?”’ asked Dick, who thought that it

would look grand for him to have heard of sop’s fables.



‘“THE GOSSIPING GOOSE.”’

“No, it isn’t,” said the Sage, rather crossly ; ‘‘it’s one of my
own! Now then, are you ready? I call it—

“THE GOSSIPING GOOSE.

‘A Crested Grebe, a Spoonbill, and a Goose,
I beg to say,
Met one fine day,

And compliments were passed the most profuse.
Stories and Tails by the Sage. 31



‘How very well you look, my dear,’ said one,
‘That shade of red
Upon your head,

So sweet; and how delightfully your hair is done.’

And each had gratifying things to say,
With gushing smile,
Upon the style

Of all the others’ holiday array.

Then Mrs. Goose, with most superior sneer,
Said, ‘Have you seen
That dress of green

That Mrs. Peacock’s wearing now, my dear?

‘She looks a perfect guy, and then—her feet
And legs! Oh, lor!
I never saw

A bird so clumsy, or so indiscreet.

‘I met her at the Concert Hall last week,
A poor affair,
I do declare,

I wonder that the Songsters have such cheek.

‘Miss Nightingale was singing far too loud;
I never heard
So harsh a bird,

I wonder how she dared to face the crowd.

‘Miss Thrush had quite a decent voice, I hear,
Some years ago
(A score or so),

But now her voice is giving way, I fear.
32

The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



‘She sang as badly as did Mrs. Lark,
Who all agreed,
Had every need

Of lessons, to bring hey up to the mark,

‘Miss Linnet had a really dreadful cough.
As for the rest, -
They quite distressed
The company. Well, good-bye, dears. I'm off.’

And, while the Spoonbill and the other bird
Went on their way,
I heard one say,

‘That Mrs. Goose is really most absurd.

‘She talks about the Peacock’s gaudy dress:
If she prefers
That grey of hers,

I don’t admire her taste, I must confess.

‘And as for legs and feet—well, I declare,
The pair she’s got
Are really not

The kind that I’d be seen with anywhere.

‘While as for singing, that she should complain
Of other folk
Is past a joke,

I vow I'll not be friends with her again.’

‘My dear,’ the other said, ‘remember this:
A critic she
Of high degree,

For though she can’t sing well, the goose can hiss.’
Stories and Tails by the Sage. © 33
The Sage had scarcely finished when a sound of weeping and
wailing was heard, and presently a whole troop of gnomes

appeared in the onion field. They were crying bitterly, and to



Yn ee

‘““THEY WERE CRYING BITTERLY.”

the children’s great surprise several of them had grown
enormously tall and others equally stout.
34 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



They came straight up to the Sage’s hut, and with tears
streaming down their faces beseeched him to help them. They
had foolishly been making use of the authority which the Little
Panjandrum’s Ambassador had given to the children; and
although it acted one way, and made them the size that they
wished to be, it would not turn them back again.

‘And my wife and family refuse to have anything to do with
me,” said one ridiculously tall individual.

“And I can’t squeeze into my own house, anyhow,” wept
the stout one. .

‘The only way,” said the Sage, after a moment’s thought,
with his forehead wrinkled into deep furrows, ‘‘is to send the
Ki-Wi to the Court of the Little Panjandrum for a fresh
authority. It’s no use your having this one back if it won't act
properly, is it?’ he enquired, turning to the children.

“Certainly not,” said Dick; ‘‘but who is the Ki-Wi,
please ?”

““Oh, he’s the Court Messenger,” explained the Sage, ‘‘and
is the only one here allowed to enter the Court of the Little
Panjandrum without permission.”

‘* Go and fetch him,” he continued.

And the gnomes disappeared, returning presently with the
Ki-Wi (who turned out to be a curious kind of bird),
and the written authority, which had been taken from the
children.

‘“‘ Let me look at it,” said the Sage, holding out his hand for
the paper.

“‘ Why, no wonder it won’t act for the gnomes,” he exclaimed,


Stories and Tails by the Sage. 35



when he had read it. “It mentions you all by name—just try

it yourselves, will you?”

Dick took the paper from him, and said loudly, ‘“‘ We wish

to be our own size again.”

To their great delight the children at once found themselves

their usual height, and the onions, which had looked before like

huge trees, now
only reached a
little above their
heads, while the
Sage and the
other gnomes
looked the
tiniest little
creatures again.

‘* This is bet-

ter,” said Dick,

shaking himself

as though he

had come out

of the water.
“Yes, isn’t it

good to be our-



‘“ PRODUCED A LARGE DOCUMENT AND BEGAN TO READ.”

selves once more,” said Marjorie.

While Fidge jumped about delightedly, breaking down

several of the onion plants, and almost treading on the

Sage’s hut.

“Don’t caper about like a lot of lunatics,” shouted the little
36 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



man, angrily. ‘Come and sit down and talk business. The
Ki-Wi has something to tell you.”

All excitement to know what it could be, the children sat
down again, and the Ki- Wi, after fumbling about in his coat
tail for some time, produced a large document and began

to read.








GRAB TER: V-

Be King of tbe Gisbes.

#|M—ah—that is to say—er—notwithstanding, never-

theless, likewise also, and as is herein aforesaid,”



began ‘the Ki- Wi, in an important voice.

“Hold on!” cried Dick. “We can’t understand all that,
you know. Why don’t you say what you have to say in
English?”

“It is English,’ declared the Ki-Wi, in an aggrieved voice,
“and very good English too.” .

** Of course it is,” chimed in the Sage.

>

“Well, we don’t understand it, anyhow,” maintained Dick.
“Tt doesn’t seem to mean anything at all.”

‘Perhaps, Dick, dear,” said Marjorie, ‘‘ Mr. Sage will explain
it tous. Let’s see—it began ——”
“«* Notwithstanding, nevertheless, likewise, and as is herein

aforesaid,” repeated the Ki- Wi.
38 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



“ Well, I’ll explain it, if you wish, with pleasure,” said the
Sage, “though I can’t see in the least why it should be neces-
sary. It*seems to me to be perfectly simple. To begin with—
‘Notwithstanding’ describes our position just now—Not-with-
standing, or not standing with the Ki-Wi. He is standing,
while we are sitting down, you see; then ‘nevertheless’ means
of course the same as always-the-greater, which exactly describes
. me. You see, my great learning and cleverness always makes
me greater than the people I am speaking to, and conse-
quently mever-the-less. The next word is also descriptive of
myself. ‘ Likewise,’ or like a wise man, which, I am sure, you
will all agree that I am; and ‘herein’ means that my brains

’

are all im here,” said the Sage, tapping his head. ‘ While
‘aforesaid ’—the last word—means that I have a strong head,
or a-force-head, do you see?”

“Is the rest of the paper all about yourself, too, Sir?” asked
Marjorie.

“Yes,” was the complacent reply. ‘‘Go on, Ki-Wi.”

“I’m afraid we can’t stop,” interrupted Dick. ‘ You see, we
have got to hunt up that wretched Dodo, and perhaps we had
better be going now.”

“Yes, we must be going now,” chimed in Fidge, jumping up
eagerly, for all this rigmarole had been very uninteresting
to him. ;

“Oh, I’m sorry you can’t stay,” said the Sage, in a disap-
pointed voice. ‘I could have told you such a lot more about
myself. You do think I’m clever though, don’t you?” he
asked, anxiously.


The King of the Fishes. 39



“Oh, immensely !”’ said the children, politely.

“Thanks!” said the Sage. ‘‘ Will you take a few onions
with you as a memento of your visit ?”’

“ No thank you,” said Marjorie, hurriedly.

“They would remind you of me,” suggested the Sage, wist-
fully ; ‘‘ Sage and onions, you know.”

‘‘No thanks,” said Dick, ‘‘I’m sure we shall remember you
without.”

“ Now that’s very kind of you,” said the Sage, ‘and I’ll do
the best I can to help you in your search for the Dodo. Let's
see, where did he say he was going to ?”’

‘‘The Equator,” said Dick; “but I’m sure we can’t go all
that way after him, and get back in a week.”

“You could if you went by sea,” said the Sage.

“What do you mean?” asked Dick.

‘Why, I could give you an introduction to the King of the
Fishes, you know, and he might lend you his dolphins; they
travel at a rare pace, and would get you there in no time.”

‘Oh, yes,” cried Marjorie, ‘‘ of course we can go under the
sea, don’t you know, the paper says so. Wouldn’t it be jolly,
even if we didn’t find the Dodo?”

“Don’t want to be drownded, and get all deaded,”’ objected
Fidge.

“You wouldn’t be, dear,” said Marjorie. ‘‘ Brother Dick
wouldn’t take us anywhere where we should come to any
harm.”

“How should we get there, I wonder?” asked Dick,
thoughtfully.
40 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



‘“‘T’ll show you—come along,” said the Sage, getting up and
leading the way. ia

The children followed, and the little gnomes, now all reduced
to their proper size, came trooping along after them.

Presently they reached the edge of the cliff, and the sea,
sparkling in the sunlight, lay at their feet some distance below.

The Sage, hastily scribbling a note with a piece of pencil,
thrust it into Dick’s hand, and crying, ‘‘ This is the quickest
way!” deliberately pushed the children, one after the other,
over the cliff.

Before they had time to realize what had happened, or to
become in the least alarmed, they found themselves slowly and
comfortably sinking through the air; while a shriek of laughter
from the gnomes caused them to look up to the edge of the
cliffs, where they beheld all the little fellows leaning over and
waving their pocket-handkerchiefs, while the Sage and the
Ki-Wi stood in their midst.

“Oh!” cried Marjorie, as they descended, “‘isn’t it fortunate
we have the power to float in the air; it would have been an
awful plunge otherwise, wouldn’t it ?”’

EVES) agreed Dick, reaching out his hand to Fidge, who
looked just a little wee bit frightened. ‘‘I wonder what it will
be like in the sea.”

He had not to speculate long, however, for almost at that
moment their feet touched the water, and they sank down,
down, down through the clear green depths.

“Oh, look!” cried Fidge, excitedly. ‘‘ Fishes! Fishes!”

and he started off swimming after them quite naturally.








DN

The King of the Fishes. 41



* One’s got a hat on,” he called out. ‘‘ Look! look! there’s
another; oh, let’s catch them!”

“If you don’t behave yourselves you'll be locked up,” said a
severe. voice, and, turning around, the children beheld a very

stern-looking fish, wearing a helmet, and carrying a truncheon.































““THE CHAIR WAS FLOATING JUST IN FRONT OF THEM.”

‘Now then, move on; don’t obstruct the traffic!” he cried,
angrily; and the children, swimming off as hastily as they
could, mentally put him down as a kind of sea policeman.

“You certainly mustn’t try and catch any of the fishes,

Fidge, or you will be getting us all into trouble,” said Dick.
42 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



And Fidge, overawed by the policeman fish, became quite
subdued, and contented himself with a quiet “ Look! look!”
when they passed anything particularly strange or interesting.

They had very nearly reached the bottom of the sea, when
they noticed a singular-looking object floating some distance
in front of them.

“It looks like a chair!” declared Marjorie. <« Why, I
believe,’’ she continued, as they drew nearer, “that it’s the
very one the Dodo was floating upon when we saw him last.”

“So it is!" cried Dick; “and look, there’s a note on it—
perhaps it’s for us.”

They swam towards it as quickly as they could, and had just
reached the chair, as a curious-looking fish—with a very long
nose, and wearing shoes on the end of his long tail, and a tall
hat—swam past.

He looked at them inquisitively, and then stood a little way
at the back of them, waiting till they should be disengaged.

“To all to whom it may concern,” read Dick, after he had
picked up the note from off the chair. ‘I suppose that means
us as much as anyone.”

_ “Of course it does,” agreed Marjorie. ‘It concerns us very
much to find out where the Dodo is.”

Dick hesitated no longer, but opened the note eagerly. His
face fell, however, when he beheld the contents.

“Mind your own business!” he read, slowly. ‘What a
sell! I believe the Dodo did write it, though, and intended it
as a hint that we were not to try and find him. I’m half
inclined to give it up.” }




The King of the Fishes. 43



‘‘ But Dick, dear, remember,” said Marjorie, ‘‘ we shall be—
er—you know—what the Ambassador said—if we don’t
find him.” %

“Oh, ah,” said Dick, ‘‘I’d forgotten that. Come on, then ;
let’s see what can be done.”

“Can I be of any assistance?” said the thin fish, coming
forward with a polite bow. ‘‘ Have you lost anything?”

‘Oh, thanks,” said Dick. ‘‘ We're looking fora Dodo. Do
you happen to have seen one about here ?”

‘A Dodo,” said the fish, reflectively. ‘I don't think I have
the pleasure of the gentleman’s acquaintance. What kind of a
fish is he ?”’

‘Oh, he isn’t a fish at all,” explained Dick; ‘‘he’s a kind of
bird, you know.”

‘‘ Ah! birds we don’t encourage below the surface, as a rule,”
said the fish, smiling indulgently. ‘ You are scarcely likely to
meet with him here. Perhaps His Majesty the King of the
Fishes would advise you.”

‘Oh, I have a letter of introduction to His Majesty,” said
Dick. ‘I’m afraid it’s rather wet,” he said, apologetically,
drawing it from his pocket.

“Tt would be unacceptable to His Majesty were it not so,”
said the fish. ‘‘ Well, now, I was going to a football match, it
being a half-holiday ; but, under the circumstances, I will put
it off, and escort you to the Palace. This way, please.”

Sinking down to the sand at the bottom of the sea, the fish
led the way through a beautiful forest of waving seaweed, of all

the colours of the rainbow. Exquisite shells were strewn about,
44 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



and brightly-coloured anemones clung to the rocks on every
side, while all kinds of oddly-shaped fishes swam about, peering

at the children curiously as they passed.



‘** BRING THEM FORWARD,’ SAID THE KING OF THE FISHES.”

Presently they came in sight of a kind of Palace, formed of
quaintly-shaped pieces of coral, which, the fish explained, was
where the King lived.
TE



The King of the Fishes. 45



“Just stay here for a moment, please,” said he; and the
children waited outside while he went into the Palace. ©

Fidge pulled aside a piece of seaweed, and they all peeped
through a hole in the coral, and saw a large fish wearing a
crown, and with a curious chain about his neck, to which was
attached an enormous fish-hook, seated on a throne.

Officers of State stood round about, and the little thin fish
that had been so polite to them was bowing and scraping in
quite a courtly fashion.

He was evidently telling His Majesty all about them, for,
after hearing what he had to say, the King of the Fishes nodded ;
and the thin fish came out, and informed them that they were

to be admitted into the Presence.






CHAP R: Wir

jn Be King’s Presence.

SO you understand fish-language?”’ whispered the




little thin fish, hurriedly, as he was conducting
them into the Presence Chamber.

“I’m afraid not,” replied Dick. .

“‘Then you must remain silent, for in the King’s presence
nothing but the fish-language is allowed to be spoken. I will
interpret for you afterwards.”

Pushing aside some curtains of brightly-coloured seaweed he
led them into the Presence Chamber.

The King received them very graciously, and held out one fin
as they approached.

“‘T expect we ought to kneel on one knee, and kiss it, like
they do at presentations,” whispered Marjorie.

But Dick wasn’t going to do anything of that sort, and just
touched it lightly with one hand, while the others followed suit.


In the King’s Presence. 47
The thin fish then motioned them to sit down on a kind of
divan, upon which large sponges took the place of cushions, and
which the children found to be most comfortable; and the
audience began. ‘

The most extraordinary part about it was that not the
slightest sound could be heard. The little thin fish opened and
shut his mouth in little, short, jerky gasps, to which the King
replied by slowly opening and shutting his, rolling ‘his eyes
about meanwhile, just as you may have seen fishes do in an
aquarium.

Then the little fish solemnly handed His Majesty the Sage’s
letter, which the King put on his gold-rimmed glasses to read.

Having done so, he turned to the children and smiled, at
least that’s what they afterwards found out he was doing; but,
really and truly, he made such a curious grimace that poor
little Fidge was frightened, and wanted to run away.

His Majesty then opened and shut his mouth very slowly
three or four times, to which all the other fishes replied by
swimming backwards three strokes, and then forward three
strokes. Then the audience was at an end.

The little thin fish came and whispered to the children, “It
is usual for mortals, when leaving the presence of the King, to
turn three somersaults backwards. Do you think you can
do that?”

“T’m afraid not,’ replied Dick, anxiously. ‘At least, I
might be able to manage, but I don’t know about Marjorie and
Fidge.”

“Oh, never mind, then; I’ll ask His Majesty to be good .
48 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



enough to excuse you,” said the fish, and, making a low bow to
the King, he explained the situation in a few short gasps.

His Majesty thereupon left the audience chamber, having
first graciously inclined his head towards the children.

As he swam away, two little fishes attached themselves to
the tip of His Majesty’s tail, while another held the crown down







‘“SOME FISHES WERE PLAYING FOOTBALL.”

on his royal head, to prevent it from slipping off, the rest of the
audience swimming behind at a respectful distance, forming a
sort of procession.

_ Well,” begun the thin fish, after the others had all gone,
“I congratulate you. His Majesty has been good enough to
a NT eT EE ee ee en ee

:
|
:
:
:



a

In the King’s Presence. 49



place the Royal Dolphins at your disposal, and if the Dodo you
are searching for is anywhere on, or in, the sea you ought to
have no difficulty in finding him, for the Dolphins swim very
quickly indeed, and can take you anywhere you like in a jiffy.
Please follow me to the royal stables, and we will harness
them.”

The children passed out after their kind little friend, and
followed him into the gardens of the Palace, which they had to
cross in order to reach the stables.

Marjorie was enraptured at the sight of the beautifully-
arranged gardens, in which brightly-coloured anemones took
the place of flowers.

On a lawn of the finest short green seaweed, a number of
globe-shaped fishes, with striped bodies, were playing football,
and the children stopped a few minutes to watch the game.

They were very much surprised to find that the football itself
was a fish—a little round chap, just the shape of a football—who,
on the players giving him a smart kick with their tail, shot up
through the water and over the goal in no time.

“ Doesn’t he object ?”” said Dick, after they had watched this
performance for some time; ‘‘I know I should.”

“Oh, dear, no!” exclaimed their guide, “‘ he enjoys it quite
as much as the others do. You see, it’s such a delightful sensa-
tion to be shot through the water without the effort of swim-
ming; but, come along, we must be off if you are going to
start to-day.”

“‘There’s one little piece of advice I should like to give you
in. your search for the Dodo,” he continued, kindly, as they

D


50 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.

swam along. ‘‘If you don’t succeed in catching him one way,
try another. Remember the bear with a cold.”

“‘ What do you mean?” asked the children.

“Don’t you know the story of the bear with a. cold?”
was the reply.

“No; do tell us!”
they cried.

“Why, you see,”
said the fish, ‘‘ there
was once an old bear,
who had a dreadful
cold, and his friends
all advised him to try
different things to

cure it. One said



one thing, and one





oN

another, andalthough Sy
he tried them all, one Nea ee
after the other, he y Wi 3

-?
didn’t get any better ; i
sl” ge

vered, and kept try- “AND NOW HE’S QUITE WELL, THANKS.”’ —

but still he perse-

ing all the remedies
they suggested, and at last he was cured, and what do you
think did it?” 5;

““What ?”’ enquired the children.

‘Why, someone suggested putting his feet into hot mustard

and water and drinking. gruel—and he tried it several times

fm
In the King’s Presence. 5I.



with no effect; and at last he fortunately thought of reversing
the process, so he put his feet into some thick gruel, and drank
a lot of mustard and water, and now he’s quite well, thanks. So
don’t you get discouraged
if you don’t find the Dodo

at once; but, as I said





before, if one way doesn’t
succeed, try
another.”

“ Thanks !”
said the chil-
dren, ‘‘ we'll re-
member.”

Just then
they found
themselves be-

fore a kind of
shed, built of
coral, which the
fish entered, re-
turning shortly
afterwards lead-

ing three curi-

‘COME ON, MARJORIE, LET'S HAVE A RACE.”

ous-looking
fishes by a simple sort of bridle.

“Here they are!” he announced; ‘you will find them
quite docile. Just mount them and see how you like their
pace.”
52 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



The children needed no second invitation, and were soon
astride their strange steeds.

With a whisk of their tails they were soon off, dashing
through the water at such a rate that the little thin fish had the
greatest difficulty in keeping up with them, even for a short
distance.

“Oh! this zs jolly!” cried Dick.

** Come on, Marjorie, let’s have a race.”

The Dolphins answered to the slightest pull at the reins, and
the children hadn’t the least fear; so, getting into a line,
they waited for their friend the thin fish to come up and give
them the signal to start.




CHAPTER VII.

The Human Race.

=WIIE little thin fish seemed to be a long while catching
them up, and, while they were waiting, Marjorie



espied a curious figure poking about among the
seaweed a short distance away from them.

‘‘T wonder what it is!” she cried, and the children dis-
mounted from the Dolphins, and, tying them by the reins to
some coral stumps, so that they could not swim away, they half
walked and half swam over to where Marjorie had first noticed
the creature, whatever it was.

‘Why, it’s a man!” cried Dick, as they drew nearer, and
could distinguish him more clearly.

He was a wretched-looking old fellow, with a heavy sack
upon his back, and was clothed only in a ragged old garment,
which scarcely reached to his knees.
54 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



‘Poor man,” said Marjorie, in a whisper, “ how unhappy he
looks ; perhaps he has lost something.”

The man glanced up nervously as the children approached,
and, clutching at his bag jealously, he demanded—

“Who are you?) What do you want? ”

“Nothing, thank you, poor old man,” began Marjorie; “we
were only ——”

The old man burst into a peal of hoarse laughter.

“ Poor old man!” he exclaimed. ‘Do you know that I am
the richest man in the world. Look!” he exclaimed, opening
his bag before the children’s astonished eyes. “Gold! jewels!
riches! wealth! they are all mine—ha—ha—ha—ha!” and he
laughed discordantly, and hugged the bag closely to himself
again. ;

“Oh, come away!” cried Marjorie, catching at Dick’s arm.
“I’m so frightened.”

‘““T’m the Old Man of the Sea,” continued the man, ‘‘and all
the treasures of the deep are mine. I have stacks of golden
crowns and jewels without number, and each day I gather
more—they are all mine—mine—mine! ”

“But where do they all come from?” asked Dick.

** The bottom of the sea is strewn with riches,” continued the
old man, “and there is no one to reap the harvest but myself.”

“You must be very happy if you are so rich,” said Dick.
“It must be lovely to have all those things.”

“No, I am not happy,” said the Old Man of the Sea. “Iam
very old, and very lonely, and there is no one here to admire
my treasures but myself. The fishes will have nothing to do
The Human Race. 55



with me—they do not care for gold; it is valueless to them—
and I may not go on land, so I am here alone with my riches,

and every day I gather more and more. I have piled them













Fto-p< zor YY



‘“ FILLING HIS BAG WITH ALL KINDS OF TREASURE.”

high about my cave in a great circle, and some day, when it
becomes top-heavy, it will fall over and crush me beneath it,

and I shall be buried in a tomb of ‘gold. No king, no emperor,
56 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



had ever so grand a sepulchre as I shall have, but I am not
happy—no—no—not happy, not happy.”

And the old man shouldered his bag and moved away,
muttering sorrowfully.

“Poor man, poor man,” said Marjorie; ‘for he 7s poor,
although he has so much wealth, isn’t he, Dick?”

‘Yes, jolly poor, and miserable too. I wouldn’t be him for
something,” said Dick. ‘*‘ Come on, it makes me wretched to
think about him—let’s get back to the Dolphins.”

When they reached them, they found that their little friend,
the thin fish, had arrived at last.

“ Hullo!” cried Dick. ‘* What a jolly long while you have
been catching us up. Wherever have you been to all this
time?”

“Why,” explained the fish, ‘‘I thought I heard you saying
something about a race, and suddenly I remembered what a
splendid opportunity your visit down here would afford us of
witnessing a real human race—you are human, aren't you?”
he asked, anxiously.

‘Yes, I suppose so,” replied Dick.

“That’s right,” said the fish. ‘‘Come on, the King is most
anxious for the race to begin at once, and I promised to bring
you back with me immediately.”’

“But what zs a human race?” enquired Marjorie, as they
mounted their Dolphins.

“Oh, you'll see when we get back,” was the reply, and, the
little fish hanging on to one of the Dolphins’ tails, they were
soon flying through the water at a rare rate.
The Human Race. 57



When they got back to the lawn by the King’s Palace, the
children were greatly astonished to see a big crowd of fishes
drawn up in two lines, with a wide path between them. The
King, on a shell throne, surrounded by his courtiers, was at one
end, and several important-looking fishes were fussing about at
the other, making a straight line with some little lumps of
white chalk.

There was a cheer when the children arrived on their
Dolphins, and a rush was made to assist them to alight.

‘ But what are we to do?” they enquired, rather dismayed
at these elaborate preparations.

‘* Show us a human race,” was the reply.

“Well, a human race is just like any other kind of race,
I suppose,” said Dick, ‘‘the one who reaches the goal first
wins. If we are going to race, though, we shall have to be
handicapped.”

‘* What’s that ?”” cried the fishes.

‘Why, you see,” explained Dick, ‘it wouldn’t be fair for us
all to start from the same line, for Fidge, of course, cannot run
as quickly as Marjorie or me; and Marjorie, too, being only a
girl, will have to have a start allowed her, and this is called
handicapping.”

“Very well, manage it your own way,” was the reply.
“When are you going to start?”

‘Oh, as soon as you like,’ said Dick. “Where's the
winning-post ? ” :

*‘That white line up by the King’s throne,” said one
of the fishes. And Dick, having given Fidge a very long
58 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



start, and Marjorie a slight advantage, declared himself ready

to begin.
‘‘One, to make ready,
Two, to be steady,

Three, and—away !”’

shouted one of the principal fishes, and off they scrambled.
I say scrambled, because if you have ever tried to run under
water you will know that it is a very difficult thing to do—the
weight of the water prevents you from getting along at all
quickly. The fishes watching the race became very excited,
and, in their eagerness to urge them on, kept getting in the
children’s way, swimming about in front of them, and getting
mixed up with their arms and legs in a most confusing manner.
At length, however, this extraordinary race came to an end, and
the children arrived at the winning-post in the same order in
which they had started.

“Oh, I’ve won—I’ve won!’ shouted Fidge, delightedly.
“Haven't I, Dick?”

“*Of course you have,” said Dick, who had purposely been
holding back to give the other two a chance.

“ Shall I get a prize ?’’ whispered the little boy, anxiously.

‘* Perhaps,’’ answered Dick; ‘‘ wait and see.”

Their little friend, the thin fish, had gone up to the King, and
was talking very earnestly to him, and presently returning said
that His Majesty had decided to give them all a prize.

“Oh, I wonder what it will be!” said Marjorie, excitedly.
‘Fancy, having a prize from a real King!”

“* He’s only a fish,” said Dick.
The Human Race. 59



3

‘“‘ Hush, dear, you'll hurt his feelings,” whispered Marjorie,
warningly.

Just then the thin fish put on his top hat—he was the only

«





















‘“THEY WERE CALLED BEFORE THE KING TO RECEIVE THEIR PRIZE.”

one allowed to wear one in the King’s presence—and began a
long speech. He spoke so very softly, though, that no one

could hear a word that he said; but, at regular intervals, all
60 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



the other fishes clapped their fins, and called out, ‘‘ Hear,
hear!” most enthusiastically.

“Whatever do you do that for?” enquired Dick, of one of
them; “I’m sure you cannot hear a word of what he is
saying.”

“Oh, no, we can’t,” admitted the fish, quite candidly;
‘‘but it’s the proper thing to do, you know, it encourages
him so.”

After the speech the children were called before the King
to receive their prize.

His Majesty did not speak to them, but motioned majestically
to a large branch of pink coral near the throne, and they were
thus given to understand that it was intended for them as a
prize.

Of course, they pretended to be highly gratified, though, in
reality, they were greatly disappointed.

“Stupid old thing! it’s not a bit of use, even if we could
carry it,” muttered Dick; and Fidge, too, was so cross that he
nearly quarrelled outright with a perky little fish who had been
standing, hat in hand, near him, and who now came and sat
down so close to him that his sharp scales scratched the little
fellows bare legs.

A moment afterwards, however, they had all forgotten their
ill-humour in their amusement at what was happening, for the
King having withdrawn, the rest of the fishes each took a
partner, and began whirling round and round in a frantic way
in a mad kind of dance, to the strains of some weird music,

provided by one or two of their number blowing through some
The Human Race. 61.



long shells, whilst others used some smaller flat ones as
castanets.

“‘T suppose this is what is called a fish ball,” said Dick,
laughing heartily at the strange antics which the fishes were
cutting.

And just as Marjorie was about to reply a dark shadow



‘‘WHIRLING ROUND AND ROUND IN A FRANTIC WAY.”

passing overhead caused all of the children to look up.
A pair of large webbed feet were seen slowly paddling above
them, and beyond them the outline of a bird’s body could be
traced.
Marjorie seized Dick’s arm excitedly. ‘* Look! look!” she
exclaimed, hastily, ‘‘ the Dodo! ”


CHAPTER VIII.

The Dodo at Rast.

REALLY believe it is the Dodo,” said Dick.
“Only I’m not quite sure if his feet were webbed.”

“Oh, I don’t think they were,” declared
Marjorie. ‘‘ Now don’t you think,” she continued, excitedly,



“that it would be best for us just to swim quietly up to him,
and catch hold of his legs; you see, he couldn’t possibly get
away then, and ——”

“All right,” interrupted Dick. ‘Come on—steady now, so
as not to alarm him.”

The feet above them were paddling leisurely along, and the
children had no difficulty in quickly catching up to the bird,
and, with a triumphant shout, Dick clutched hold of one leg,
while Marjorie and Fidge hung on to the other.

‘There was immediately a great outcry from above the water.

“Help! Help! Fire! Police! Thieves!” cried a voice,
The Dodo at Last. 63



and the feet began to kick so violently that the children had.
quite a difficulty to keep their hold.

In response to the cries a number of other birds came flying
to the rescue, and “ splush,” ‘ splash,” sounded on all sides as
they settled
down on the
water.

“What is
the matter ?”
cried several

voices at

once.
“Oh!” cried
the bird which

the children
had captured,
beating his

wings about



violently, and
creating a terrible con-
fusion, ‘‘a crab or some-
thing has caught hold of
my legs, and I am being “THE DODO TRIED TO FOLLOW THEIR
killed—help !—save me ! Eee oss
—save me!”

A confused sound of voices followed, and presently one or
two heads appeared below the water; they were hastily with-

drawn, however, and, with an alarmed cry of “ Sharks!” the
64 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



other birds all flew away, leaving their luckless companion to
his fate.

The bird, when he found himself deserted by his friends,
made more frantic efforts than ever to escape; and the beating
of his wings upon the water caused the whole party to move
slowly along.

“What are we to do now ?”’ whispered Marjorie; “ we can’t
drag him underneath, or he’d be drowned, you know.”

‘Oh, let’s hang on,” cried Dick, “ perhaps he will drag us
along till we come to land somewhere. I say,” he shouted,
“are you the Dodo, or not?”

His voice could evidently not be heard above the water, for
there was no reply from the bird, which continued making a
terrific outcry, using every effort to get away from them.

Presently, just as Dick had suggested, some rocks came in
sight, and the children could see that they were being gradually
dragged towards the shore.

In a few minutes they had the satisfaction of being able to
scramble out of the water, when they discovered, to their great
dismay, that their captive was not the Dodo at all, but a great
wild goose, who, when they hurriedly released his legs, waddled
awkwardly ashore, and gazed at them with reproachful eyes.

A little way inland the Dodo himself could be seen standing,
surrounded by an excited group of birds, who, when they
caught sight of the children emerging from the water, immedi-
ately took to flight, screaming, in horrified tones—

“The Sharks! The Sharks! Here come the Sharks!”

The Dodo tried to follow their example, and for a moment it
The Dodo at Last. 65



looked as though the children would lose him after all; but
it soon became evident that the creature could not fly, for after
wildly beating the air for awhile, with his little apologies for
wings, the miserable bird fell squalling into the water, while
his companions disappeared in the distance.

“Help! Help!” he screamed, as he struggled with the
waves. ‘Don’t you see that I’m drowning? Oh! Oh!
Help! Help!”

“¢ Swim ashore,” cried the children.

“T can’t,” was the reply, in a faint voice. “I can’t swim.
Oh !—oh! there go my poor, dear gloves.’’ This last as his
wings, which he had been holding up out of the water, sank
exhausted to his side.

Dick plunged in, and soon brought the bird to shore, where
he stood for a moment or two, ruefully regarding his white kid
gloves, which the salt water had completely ruined, while the
bow of his necktie had slipped around to the back of his
neck.

“A pretty figure I shall cut now at the Ichthyosaurus’ At
Home,” he grumbled. “It’s all your fault, too,” he declared,
ungratefully disregarding the fact that Dick had just rescued
him from a watery grave. ‘‘ What do you want with me,
anyhow ?”

“Why, you see,” hastily explained Dick, “the Ambassador
to the Little Panjandrum sent us in search of you, and if we
don’t take you back in less than a week we’re to be—er—er—
something with an awfully long name —— ”

“I know—Subtransexdistricated, that’s it, isn’t it?” said

E
66 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



the Dodo. “They always threaten to do that to people.
Ough ! it’s perfectly horrible!” he cried, shuddering.

‘‘What’s it like?” asked the children, in an awe-stricken
whisper.

“Why,” explained the Dodo, “you are mygrylaled in
pslmsms till you saukle, and then you are taken out and
gopheled on both sides for a fortnight. Ough! it’s dreadful
to think about, and I wouldn’t .dream of putting you to the
risk of having it done to you. So I suppose I shall have to go
back,” he added, with a sigh. “It’s jolly awkward, though!
Oh, I hate him!” he said, stamping his claw violently. |

“ Who?” enquired the children.

“The Little Panjandrum,’’ was the reply. ‘‘ Nasty, conse-
quential little prig! And who is he, I should like to know?
Panjandrums are not to be mentioned in the same breath as
Dodos—we are a much more ancient family than they are, and,
besides, we are extinct,” he said, proudly.

“Oh, yes, of course,” agreed Dick, who did not care to go
into the Dodo’s private grievances, and who certainly did not
care to run the risk of being ‘‘ gopheled on both sides,” what-
ever that might mean; ‘but don’t you think we had better be
going now?”

“How are we going to get back?” demanded the Dodo,
abruptly. ‘I can’t swim, and I can’t fly. You'll have to
carry me.”

“Good gracious!” exclaimed Marjorie, in dismay. “I’m
sure we can’t do that! Why, you are as big as we are!”

** Well, I’m sure I don’t know what is to be done,” said the
The Dodo at Last. 67



Dodo. ‘I won’t get into the water again for anyone, so there.”

Just then, Fidge, who had been playing on the shore, ran
back with the news that the little thin fish wanted to speak
to them.

“Oh! Sorry to trouble you,” he began, popping his head
out of the water and
raising his hat po-
litely ; ‘but His
Majesty sent me to
enquire how you
were getting on. I
see you have found
him,’’ he added,
pointing to the Dodo.

“Yes; but now
we are in another
fix,” cried the chil-
dren; ‘we don’t
know how to get the

creature home.”’



“Who are you
calling a creature?”
said the Dodo, sulkily.

“Well, what else are you?”’ demanded Dick. ‘‘ You’re an

‘“THE DODO CUT A STRANGE FIGURE.”

awful nuisance, anyhow, and I don’t know how we are going
to get you away from this place, I’m sure.”

“There are the Dolphins,” suggested the little fish.

““ Why, yes, of course,” cried Dick. “I had forgotten them.
68 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



I suppose you can ride a Dolphin, can’t you?” he enquired of
the Dodo.

“Don’t know. Never tried. Daresay I could,” answered
the bird, sullenly.

The fish disappeared, and returned a few minutes later with
the three Dolphins in tow.

Fidge was more than delighted to see the “horses,” as he
called them, again, and lost no time in getting astride of one;
the others followed more deliberately, Marjorie taking her seat
beside Fidge on the same fish.

The Dodo cut a strange figure, and looked very nervous at
first, as he clung to the slippery back of his strange steed.

He seemed to feel at ease after a time, however, and when
the children had bade their kind little friend, the thin fish,
““Good-bye,” the party started off at a fine pace.

‘‘ By-the-bye, have you any idea where we are going to?”
remarked the Dodo, after they had been rushing along for
some time. .

“Good gracious, no!” exclaimed Dick. ‘I thought you
were directing us.”

““T haven’t the remotest idea where we are,” said the Dodo,
coolly.

“Why, then, we’re lost!” cried Marjorie, in dismay.

“ Mother told me,” said Fidge, solemnly, “that if I ever got
lost, I was to ask a policeman to take me home.”

“Yes, but I’m afraid there are no policemen about here,”’
laughed the others.

“What we had better do,” said Dick, “is to push on till
The Dodo at Last. 69



we come to land somewhere, or a ship, and enquire the way

back.”

This was thought to be the best plan to pursue, and the
children hurried along till Marjorie noticed that both the

air and the water were growing fresher every moment, and

she was just beginning
to wonder what they
were going to do if
it grew much colder,
when Dick cried out,
in quite a nautical
style—

“‘Land on the lar-
board side!”

“* Hooray !”” shouted
the others, “now we
shall find out where
we are,” and _ they
headed the Dolphins
to where they could
see a rough kind of
landing-stage.

The country looked |



‘““AT THE ENTRANCE WAS A LARGE
WALRUS, SMOKING.”’

very bleak and bare, but a little hut was visible a short
distance from the shore, and the children, having fastened
up the Dolphins to one of the wooden piles, assisted the
Dodo to alight, and made their way towards it.

At the entrance they saw a large Walrus with a pipe
70 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



in his mouth, and on the ground beside him an Esquimaux
dog, also smoking.
Dick and the others hurried forward, and bowed politely.
“Wie geths?” said the Walrus, taking the pipe from his
mouth, and immediately putting it back again, while the little
dog glanced at them inquisitively out of the corners of
his eyes.






CHAPTER IX.

At tBe Morth Mole.




BA HAT does he mean?” asked Marjorie, staring blankly
4 at her brother.

‘‘T don’t know,” confessed Dick. ‘‘I beg your
pardon,” he went on, addressing the Walrus, ‘“ but I didn’t
quite hear what you said.”

“ Sprechen sie Deutsch ?’? enquired the Walrus, with an.
encouraging smile.

“JT can’t tell what the chap is talking about,” said Dick,
turning to the others in dismay.

“‘Dond’t you undershtandt German, eh?” said the Walrus.
** Ach! dat vos verry bad,” and he shook his head reproachfully.

“T don’t know,” argued Dick. ‘I can’t see that it matters
much. Weare not likely to go there, you know.”

“Not?” said the Walrus, lifting his eyebrows. ‘ Vell, dere
72 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



vos some funny peoples in der vorld. Perhaps you dond’t vant
to go dere?”

**Not much,” admitted Dick.

The Walrus shrugged his shoulders, and looked com-
miseratingly at the dog, who gave a sniff, and shrugged his
shoulders too.

“What we want to know,” said -Dick, in a businesslike way,
‘“‘is, Where are we now, and how are we to get back to
England?”

‘Vell, you vas in Germany now,” said the Walrus.

“Germany!” exclaimed the children, in surprise. “Why,
we're quite near to England, then.”

“No,” said the Walrus, shaking his head.

‘““ But we must be,” persisted Dick.

“No,” repeated the Walrus. “ Dis is not der Germany you
mean, but id is Germany all der same—most of der vorld is
Germany.”

“What nonsense!” laughed Dick. ‘I’m sure it isn’t. Why,
there’s heaps of places besides Germany. There’s—er—Africa,
for instance ——”

“Thadt’s Germany!” said the Walrus, nodding violently.

“ Africa is?” cried Dick. |

“Yah! das is so,” said the Walrus. “ Africa, und China, und
alle der blaces—dey is all Germany.”

“The chap is evidently a little wrong in the head,” explained
Dick to the others in a whisper. “‘ Never mind; don’t take
any notice. Well, to come to the point, can you direct us
home again, that is the question?” he asked, aloud.
At the North Pole. 73



‘“No,” said the Walrus, shaking his head.
“Or to the Equator?” suggested the Dodo, smoothing out
his gloves.

FoR

M3

OUTFITS \\
“ICl ON : AN
ISPRECHEN SIE KLONDYKE | sey, ‘
Sow

DEUTSCH HE 62an HOUR -
ye ss

SS

! all

WN



@ ‘'THE CHILDREN FOUND THEM
= 2 EXCEEDINGLY COMFORTABLE.”

The Walrus stared for a moment, and then, pointing to
the Dodo with the stem of his pipe, enquired, “ Vat is
dat ting?”
74. The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



The Dodo drew himself up to his full height, and gave him a
withering look. ‘‘ How dare you?” he cried.

“Vell, vat is id, anyhow?” chuckled the Walrus. “I never
saw somethings like id before, never! ”

“ Of course not,” said the Dodo, with dignity. “Our family
have been extinct for some time.”

“Vell, und vy didn’t you keep so?” asked the Walrus. “ It
vas der best ting vat you could do. Dere is no goot for such
tings like you to be aboudt.”

“Come along,” said the Dodo, turning to the others; “let’s
go. I was never so insulted in all my life.”

“Ach! dond’t ged in a demper,” said the Walrus, com- -
placently. ‘Dat is no goot also. Come, I show you der vay
to der Equador—dat is Germany, too,” he added, in paren-
thesis. ‘ Bud you must haf some glothes first to vare,” he
cried, looking at the children’s scanty garments. “Id is so
gold dere.”

“Cold at the Equator?” laughed Marjorie. ‘Why, I
always thought that it was very hot.”

“Ach ! dat is so,” said the Walrus. “But id is der gedding
dere dat is so gold. Come, I gif you some oudtfids,” and he led
the way into the little hut, which was hung all around with
clumsy-looking fur garments, which, however, when they had
got into them, the children found to be exceedingly comfortable.

Besides the clothes, there were all kinds of stores piled up
around the inside of the hut, anda quantity of snow-shoes of
various shapes, and little sleds, like those which Dick remem-
bered having seen in pictures of Polar expeditions.
At the North Pole. 75



When the children had been accommodated with some
garments, the Walrus turned to the Dodo, and said, “ Vell,
now, I egspecdt dat you vant some glothes, too, dond’t id?”

‘No, thank you,” said the Dodo, proudly, settling his necktie



‘‘*wHaT !’ CRIED THE
DODO, ‘TAKE OFF
MY GLOVES?

NEVER!?”

and folding his wings primly. ‘‘I have my gloves; they are
quite sufficient.”

“Bud you haven’t anyting on your body,” said the Walrus.
“You bedder haf some glothes, eh?” and he kindly brought
76 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.





forth some very large leather breeches, which the Dodo, after
some hesitation, consented to put on.

Next the Walrus took down a rough, hairy coat, with mittens
attached to the sleeves.

““Gom, put your arms in dis,” he said, “‘ and trow avay dose
gloves you got on.”

“What!” cried the Dodo, ‘‘take off my gloves? Never!”

And he wouldn’t either; but put his wings (such as he
had) into the coat sleeves with the gloves still on the end
of them.

“Now you musdt haf some stores,” said the Walrus, going
to a cupboard, and bringing out some tins of sardines, some
jam, and other things, which he carefully tied on to the sled.

““ Now ve are ready to stardt,” he said, when these prepara-
tions were completed; and after harnessing the little dog to
the sled the party made a move.

‘““T haven’t the least idea where we are going to,” said Dick,
as they walked along; ‘‘ have you?”

“Not the slightest,” said the Dodo. ‘I don’t suppose it
matters much, though, as long as we get somewhere or
another.”

The old Walrus was trudging along in front, leading Fidge
(who seemed to have taken a violent fancy to him) by the
hand; presently he stopped in front of a big round hole, and
waited for the others to catch up to him.

‘Here ve are,” he said, pointing to the enormous hole,
which looked like the crater of an extinct volcano lined
with ice.
At the North Pole. : 77



‘“‘ Whatever is that ?”” asked Marjorie, peering over the edge
curiously.

“Der North Bole,” said the Walrus. “Id vas German,
too,” he added, emphatically.

‘““The North Pole!” exclaimed the children. ‘‘ Why, there
isn’t any pole at all!”

‘“No,” said the Walrus, ‘‘ das is so, id vas meldted all avay.”
’ “ Good gracious!” cried Dick.

“Yah! id vas mit der lightning struck, und meldted all avay,
und made a big hole in der ground all der vay trough der earth to
der Equador. Id vas made in Germany, dat pole,” he added.

The children gazed with wondering eyes into the deep, dark
hole, and Marjorie clung to Dick’s arm nervously. ‘‘ How
wonderful!” she exclaimed ; ‘but I’m glad we’ve seen where
it was, aren’t you, Dick ?”

But Dick was thinking deeply.

“Are you sure it went right through to the Equator?” he
asked of the Walrus.

‘Yah!’ said that worthy, “for sure.”

“Then if we slid through, we should come out at the other
end?” said Dick.

“Yah! das is so,” said the Walrus, nodding violently.

“ Well, then, I think we’ll do it,” said Dick, boldly.

“©Oh, Dick!” cried Marjorie, in alarm.

‘Well, why not?” said Dick, for, really, so many strange
things had happened that nothing seemed impossible to him
now. ‘It would be rather jolly to see what it’s like at the

other end, and it’s no use stopping here. Do you know
78 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



your way from the Equator?” he added, turning to the
Dodo. .

“Yes,” said the bird, who was quite ready to start on the
perilous voyage, and, grasping Fidge by the hand, he gave

























‘WELL, GOOD-BYE,’ SAID DICK.”

a loud whoop, and began to slide down the steep incline.
‘* Well, good-bye,” cried Dick, hurriedly shaking hands with
the Walrus. “Thanks for all your kindness.” And, jumping
At the North Pole. 79



on the sled behind Marjorie, he pushed off, and they shot over
the edge after the others.

They just caught a glimpse of the little dog throwing
up his arms in surprise, and as they disappeared into space
they heard the old Walrus crying, in an anxious voice—

“Gom back! gom back! I forgot to tell you somedings.”




GHAP TER] X:.

Some (ew Acquaintances.

maT was all very well for the Walrus to shout ‘‘ Come
back!” but that was a matter of utter impossibility,



for down—and down—and down the children sped
at a terrific rate, so quickly indeed that after a moment or two
they must have lost their senses completely, for not one of
them could remember anything about the marvellous journey
through the centre of the earth.

“It seemed,” Dick explained afterwards, ‘‘as though we
were falling through a big black hole for hours and hours, and
then, all of a sudden, it was light again, and we shot out into
the air at the other end.”

The children were greatly relieved to find that they were not
expected to walk on their heads, as they had vaguely feared
might have been the case on the other side of the world. ‘But,

of course,” Marjorie explained, ‘‘ we are not really quite on the


Some New Acquaintances. 81



other side, or we should be at the South Pole, and that would
be as cold as where we came from, wouldn’t it, Dick ?”

‘“‘T suppose so,”’ answered Dick, looking about him. ‘‘ Well,
this place is hot enough, anyhow, whew!” and he unbuttoned
the heavy fur coat which he had been glad enough to put on a
short time before.

‘We are probably somewhere near the Equator,” remarked
the Dodo, pointing to the palms and other tropical plants to be
seen on every side. ‘I’ve heard that this sort of thing grows
there.”

“In that case we have only to find out where the sea is, and
* wait on the shore for a passing ship to come and take us back
to England,” said Marjorie, who was as fond as her brother of
reading books of adventure, and so knew exactly what to expect
under the circumstances.

Fidge had divested himself of his snowshoes and heavy Arctic
outfit, and was eagerly chasing some gaudy butterflies which
were flitting about amongst the bright tropical flowers, and the
others, feeling the heat very oppressive, were glad to follow his
example, and get rid of their cumbersome clothing. Marjorie
made a neat little bundle of them, and hid them behind a big
stone, and then, calling Fidge to them, the party set out to
explore the surrounding country.

They had not gone far before they heard a voice crying out
in a peremptory way—

“Now then! move on, there!”

The Dodo was highly indignant at being addressed in this
unceremonious way, particularly as he once more displayed

F
82 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



his white kid gloves and his bright necktie, and, consequently,
imagined that he presented a dignified and imposing appearance.

“Who's that?” he cried, looking about him angrily.

“Now then, move on! Do your hear?” cried the voice
again.

The children stared to the right and left, in front of them,
and behind them, but no one was in sight.

“‘That’s very strange!” exclaimed Dick. ‘‘ Whoever can
itsbei?”*

“ Will you move on, there?” shouted the voice, louder than
ever, and, looking up into the trees, the children saw a huge
green parrot, with a red tail, hanging down from one of the
branches by one claw, while he shook the other at them
menacingly.

“* Bah! it’s only a parrot,” said the Dodo, in a contemptuous
voice.

“What!” screamed the bird; ‘ only a parrot, indeed. Who
are you, I should like to know?”

“We're tourists,’ said the Dodo, importantly. ‘ These—
ahem—gentlemen, and this lady and myself, are on our way to
visit the Ichthyosaurus, while you are merely a common or
garden parrot, and not at all a fit and proper person for us to
be seen talking to. Come along,” he added to the others,
grandly, and started to walk off with his beak in the air.

“Hoity, toity! Not so fast,” said the parrot. “I’ve no
doubt you think yourself very grand with your kid gloves and
your consequential airs; but allow me to inform you that I

am someone of consequence in these parts, too. I ama police
Some New Acquaintances. 83



officer, and regulate the traffic, so move on, there, and don’t
block the way.”

“Oh!” cried Marjorie, ‘if this—er—” (she was going to
say ‘‘ bird,” but thought perhaps the parrot might be offended,
and she certainly couldn’t say “‘ gentleman,” so she got out of
it this way)—‘‘if this is a police officer, perhaps he could be
kind enough to direct us to where the steamboats start for
England.”

“T daresay I could if I wanted to,” said the parrot, ungra-
ciously, “‘ but I don’t choose. Move on! You are stopping the
traffic.”

“What nonsense! you ridiculous bird; there is not any
traffic,” said Dick.

“Oh! isn’t there? A lot yow know about it,” replied the
parrot. ‘‘ There’s a vehicle coming along this way now.”

The children turned around, and, sure enough, there was a
something coming down the road, though what it was the
children couldn’t determine till it came a little closer. They
waited and waited, but it scarcely seemed to move at all, and,
at last, Dick, whose curiosity was greatly aroused, proposed
going to meet it.

“Let’s go and fetch the clothes the Walrus gave us first,”
suggested Marjorie, wisely, and so they ran off to the rock
behind which they had hidden them.

To their great surprise, they found a party of apes and
monkeys calmly trying the things on, and apparently enjoying
themselves very much indeed. The snowshoes seemed to

puzzle them considerably, however, and they were undecided
84 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



whether to regard them as musical instruments or a novel form
of headgear.
“Hi! Just you put those clothes down at once!” shouted
Dick. ‘‘ How dare you interfere with our things!”
“They’re not yours,” said one of the monkeys. ‘“‘ Findings

keepings. We found them, and so they are ours.”’










UP

Wy



‘““THE SNOWSHOES SEEMED TO PUZZLE THEM SOMEWHAT.”

‘Indeed they are not. Give them back at once! ’? demanded
Dick.

““Shan’t!” screamed the monkeys, impudently, and, scam-
pering up into the trees beyond the children’s reach, they made
Some New Acquaintances. 85



grimaces at them, and openly defied them. Indeed, one of
them went so far as to climb up into a cocoanut palm and
began pelting the children with the nuts.

Fortunately, none of them reached the mark, however, and
the children, hastily gathering one or two of the cocoanuts,
abandoned the clothes, which, really, were not of much value
to them now, and fled.

This little incident had almost driven from their mind the
recollection of the vehicle which they had seen in the high
road, but a rumbling sound, as they neared the place where
they had last seen it, reminded them of the fact, and they
hurried up to the spot from whence the sounds proceeded.

To their great astonishment, they found a clumsy-looking
cart, somewhat resembling the pictures which they had seen of
the old Roman chariots, to the shafts of which a sleepy-looking
sloth-bear was attached.

‘‘Ha! ha! what a funny horse,” laughed Fidge. “It is a
horse, isn’t it, Dick?”

“No,” said Dick; ‘‘I don’t think so.”

“Horse! no, indeed,” said the Dodo. ‘It’s a kind of
camel.”

“T ain’t,” said the sloth-bear, with a yawn.

“You shouldn’t say ‘ain’t,’” said the Dodo, rebukingly.
“What are you, then?”

There was no answer, the creature had gone to sleep.

“Wake up! wake up!” cried the Dodo, shaking him
violently. ‘‘ The idea of dropping off to sleep when anyone

is talking to you!”
86 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



“J thought you were going to preach,” explained the sloth-
bear. ‘‘ You began talking about something that I shouldn’t
do or say, and I always go to sleep when people talk to me like
that—it’s so stupid of them.”

“Where are you going to?” asked the Dodo.

“*T don’t know,” was the reply. ‘‘ Where are you?”

RY TI\\

on iN

|



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oe ©

Vi

I SHALL GET VERY ANGRY IN A MINUTE,’ SAID THE DODO.”

““We want to get to the place where the steamers start for
England,” explained Marjorie.

“‘ Jump in, then,” said the sloth-bear, jerking his head in the
direction of the cart ; and the children, highly delighted at the
prospect of a ride, all scrambled in.

Dick took the reins, and Marjorie made herself comfortable



Some New Acquaintances. 87



beside him, while Fidge dangled his legs over the back of the
“chariot,” the Dodo solemnly squatting down at his side,
with his gloves carefully displayed, and his necktie properly
adjusted.

“Now then,” said Dick, shaking the reins, ‘‘ we are ready to
start. Go on, please.”

There was no answer, and it transpired that the creature was
asleep again.

“Good gracious!” said the Dodo, impatiently, ‘‘we shall
never get anywhere at this rate. I say, do wake up,” he cried,
going up to the sloth-bear and giving him a good shake.

“Oh! are you ready?” said that individual, waking up
slowly. ‘‘ Come on, then!” and he took two or three steps
forward, and then stopped to rest, his eyes gradually closing,
and his head beginning to sink.

‘““Come, come!” said the Dodo, getting in front of him,
grasping the reins, and pulling with all his might. “I shall get
very angry with you in a minute. It’s perfectly ridiculous
going on in this way; however do you imagine we are to get
to our destination if you waste time in this manner ?”

The answer was a loud snore from the sloth-bear, who had

once more fallen into a deep sleep.






CHAPTER XI.

TBe Ahipper of tbe Argonaut,

ELL, of all the stupid creatures,’ said the Dodo,
‘*T think that this is the most remarkable. Here,
I say! Wake up, will you!” and he gave the



reins another sharp pull.

The sloth-bear blinked his eyes, sleepily, and muttered,
““What’s up?”
| “Why, aren’t you going to make a start?” enquired the
Dodo, angrily ; “ how do you suppose we shall ever get to our
destination if you go on like this?”

The sloth-bear, after staring vacantly awhile slowly shook
his head. ‘Speed not to exceed quarter of a mile an hour,
them’s my orders,” he said, ‘‘and four times nine is—er—
ninety-nine, so you'll get there about next Thursday week.
Y—ah—a—a—ow,” and he gave another tremendous yawn, as

his head sank between his knees again.
The Skipper of the Argonaut. 89



“Good gracious! what’s to be done?” said Dick, getting
down from the chariot. ‘‘It’s not the slightest use our trying
to go anywhere in this thing.”

“What did he mean by saying four times nine were ninety-
nine? They ain’t,” said Fidge, “’cos I know my ‘ four times,’
and four nines are thirty-six.”

“‘ Perhaps it was something to do with the number of miles
we shall have to travel before we reach the place where the
ships start from,” suggested Marjorie.

‘Wake him up again, will you, please?’’ she said, turning
to the Dodo. ‘‘ Perhaps he will tell us.”

“ All right,” said the Dodo, ‘‘ I'll wake him up. Here!” he
cried, going up to the sloth-bear, and giving him a good shake.
“Wake up! Wake up!”

The creature slowly lifted his head, and, staring reproachfully
at the Dodo, began to cry. ‘‘ Boo—hoo—hoo! Boo—hoo—
hoo!” he sobbed. ‘‘ It’s a shame, it is.”

“What's the matter now, cry-baby?” asked the Dodo.

*“Why can’t you let me alone?” whined the sloth-bear.
“T’ve never done nothing to you, have 1? Why can’t you let
a poor beast sleep in peace ?”

“Oh, for goodness’ sake let the lazy old thing go to sleep if
it wants to,’? said Dick, impatiently, while tender-hearted
Marjorie went up to the creature and stroked and comforted it
as best she could.

Her pity was wasted, however, for almost before the last
words were out of its mouth the sloth-bear was snoring peace-

fully with a contented smirk on its face.
go The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



“Come on,” said Dick, ‘let’s try and find the way ourselves.
Oh! I know,” he exclaimed ; “ of course, why we’ve forgotten
all about the power we have of floating in the air; we’ll rise up
above the trees, and then we shall soon see where the sea is.”

No sooner said than done. The children just expressed the
wish, and, as the Little Panjandrum’s Ambassador had
promised them, they found that they had the power of rising
at will.

“Jolly, isn’t it?” said Dick, as they floated upwards,
leaving the Dodo gazing after them enviously.

“Like being in a b'loon,” chuckled Fidge, clutching at the
leaves of a tree as he passed through them. Fidge never would
pronounce balloon properly.

“Oh! look!” cried Marjorie, as they passed above the
trees, ‘‘ there's the sea over there, and some houses, and people
on the beach. I can see them quite distinctly. Oh, jolly, we
can soon fly over there; come on.”

‘What about the Dodo?” asked Dick.

“Oh, of course. I’d forgotten him. Let’s see, he can’t fly,
can he?.”

‘‘ Judging by the exhibition he made of himself when we first
saw him, I should say not,” laughed Dick.

‘Well, perhaps we could carry him between us,” suggested
Marjorie, “he doesn’t look very heavy.”

“All right, let’s try,” said her brother, and, having made
quite sure of the direction in which the sea lay, they slowly
descended to the ground again.

‘Find out what you wanted to?” asked the Dodo, who had
The Skipper of the Argonaut. gl



taken off his gloves, and was blowing into them to take out the
creases.

“Yes,” said Dick, “there are a few houses by the side of the
sea about two miles to the left; do you think you could
manage to fly as far as that?”

The Dodo smiled in a sickly sort of way. “I’m alittle out
of practice,” he faltered.

“Well, do you think that if we each took hold of one of your
—ahem—wings, we could get along that way?”

“ You wouldn’t crush my gloves ?” asked the Dodo, anxiously.

“Oh, you could take them off, you know,” said Dick, ‘‘ and
put them in your p——” (he was going to say pocket, but
suddenly remembered that the Dodo hadn’t one)—‘in my
pocket till we get there, if you like,” he added.

“What!” cried the Dodo, indignantly, “ travel without my
gloves! Never! It wouldn’t be respectable. I shouldn’t think
of doing such a thing ! ”

‘““Oh, well, come on, then; let’s try this way,” said Dick,
putting his arm under one of the Dodo’s wings, while Marjorie
did the same to the other. ‘‘ Now then—one—two—three.”

Slowly, very slowly, the children rose, for the Dodo was
rather heavy after all, as he dangled down clumsily and uncom-
fortably between them. .

I think they would have managed, however, but just as they
had reached the lower branches of the trees, they heard a voice
scream furiously—

‘* Now, then, what are you up to?”

In their agitation they let go of the Dodo, who, after making
92 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.
several frantic efforts to support himself, fell to the ground with
a dull thud.

‘““What are you up to, I say ?” said the voice again, and the
children could see that the parrot, who had been so insolent to
them before, was sitting on one of the branches near them.

“Pretty objects you are making of yourselves, I must say,”
he remarked, sneeringly. ‘What do you think you are doing,
I should like to know ?”

“IT don’t see what it has to do with you,” said Dick, crossly,
while the Dodo, with his eyes shut and his head on one side,
ran about rubbing his back with one pinion, and crying, ‘‘Oh!
oh! oh!” for he had evidently hurt himself very much.

“You don’t, do you?” said the parrot. ‘“ Well, then, it has
a great deal to do with me. Trying to fly, weren’t you? Well,
you are not birds, and it isn’t allowed ; do you hear? The idea
of mere human creatures aping their betters in that way.
Flying, indeed! Don’t you let me catch you at it again, or
you will be sorry for it, I can tell you. Now move on, and
walk on your feet in a sensible way, like rational human beings.
Go along! What next, I wonder!”

He was evidently so very angry that the children thought it
best not to provoke him further, so, leading the Dodo, who
hobbled along painfully, they walked silently away in the
direction of the sea, while the parrot watched them with a
severe expression, screaming out— Move on! move on!” every
time they stopped.

‘“ What a disagreeable bird,” whispered Marjorie, when they
had gone some little distance.


The Skipper of the Argonaut. 93



“Wretch!”’ declared the Dodo, rubbing his back.

“For two pins I’d wring his neck,” muttered Dick, angrily.

‘Much obliged, I’m sure,” said a mocking voice overhead,

and there was that wretched parrot, looking down from one of

the upper branches.

“Listeners never hear any good of themselves,” remarked

the Dodo.

“ Pooh!—as
though I cared
what you thought
about me,” said
the parrot. “Why,
if I liked, I could
—oh!” he cried,
looking off to the
left,“‘the Skipper,”
and, spreading his
wings, he flew
rapidly away with
every sign of
alarm.

The children
followed his



‘‘“ THEY CALLS ME A SKIPPER,’ SAID HE,

may

‘ BECAUSE I SKIPS.

glance, and saw coming towards them a very stout, very

jolly-looking sailor, with a red, hearty face, and a jovial

smile. To their great surprise, they saw that he was using

a skipping-rope, and skipping towards them, smiling good-

naturedly.
94. The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



“Thank goodness, here’s a man at last,” said Dick. ‘Now
we shall be able to find out something as to where we are, and
how we are to get home again.”

“Ship ahoy!” called out the sailor, when he first saw
them.

“How do you do?” said Dick, politely offering his hand.

“Stop a bit, my hearty,” said the sailor. ‘Salt!’ and he
began skipping rather quickly. ‘‘ Pepper! !” and he quickened
the pace considerably. “Mustard!!!” and the rope flew
round so quickly that the children could hardly see it, while the
jolly fat sailor skipped up and down furiously. Presently he
stopped, and sank exhausted on a stone, puffing and blowing
with all his might.

“Pm a Skipper,” he panted, in an explanatory tone.

‘© A Skipper!” exclaimed the children.

“Yes, they calls me a Skipper,” said he, ‘ because I skips.’’

“But I thought a Skipper was a kind of Captain or some-
thing,” said Marjorie.

“ Quite right, my little dear; I’m Captain of the tidiest craft
ye ever set eyes on. She’s lying out yonder. Will ye come
and have a look at her? ”

“Oh, yes, please,” said Dick, delightedly ; ‘and perhaps
you can tell us the way to get to England?”

“To be sure I can,” said the Skipper. ‘There are my
men,” he said, proudly, as they came to an open space, where
a’ dozen or more sailors, of all ages, sat at spinning wheels,
working industriously.

‘“‘ Whatever are they doing?” enquired Marjorie, curiously.
The Skipper of the Argonaut. 95



‘‘Spinning yarns,” explained the Skipper; ‘‘ each sailor is
spinning a yarn—they always do that in their spare time, you
know. Here, Bill,’ he called out to one of the sailors, who
answered, ‘‘ Aye, aye, Sir,” and touched his forelock. ‘ Bring

some of your yarn here, and show this young lady.”

ay

e O Se
7 ! /

L P af Ea Ay oa

A MEET das ise era

5 7 a {
ee

a








yl





‘© BACH SAILOR WAS SPINNING A YARN.”

The man said, ‘‘Aye, aye, Sir,” again, and came forward
with some coarse brown worsted.

‘‘ This,”’ said the Skipper, ‘‘is the toughest yarn you will
find anywhere. We are celebrated for it here.”




CHAPTER XIL

The ArcBeeopterpr.

UT we always thought ——” began Marjorie—



y ‘““That when people spoke of a sailor ‘ spinning
a, yarn,’ they meant telling a story,” finished Dick.

“Oh! oh! how could you think such a thing,” said the
sailors, indignantly. ‘‘ Sailors always tell the truth; don’t
they, Skipper ?” .

The Skipper winked at Dick with one eye, and answered,
guardedly, “Ahem! I have heard a sailor speak the truth,
certainly, but ——”

‘“‘Let’s change the subject,” said the sailors, getting up from
their wheels. ‘‘Isn’t it nearly time for us to be starting on
another voyage?”

‘“When we get some passengers, it will be,” responded the
Skipper, gruffly. ‘‘ By-the-bye,” he added, turning to the chil-
dren; ‘‘ you want to go somewhere or another, don’t you ?”


The Archezopteryx. 97



“Yes, to England,” said Dick, eagerly. ‘ Do you go there,
please? ”

‘““H’m! Never heard of the place as I knows of,” said the
Skipper, scratching his head. ‘We might cruise about till
we come across it, if you like, though.”

““ Never heard of England!” exclaimed Dick.

“No,” said the Skipper, unconcernedly. ‘‘I never had no
time to study goggerfy, I didn’t, so there’s lots of places I don’t
know, no more than the Man in the Moon.”

“But don’t you find it very awkward ?” cried the children ;
“however do you know how to go from one place to another ?”

“We don’t know,” said the Skipper, laughing; “that’s just
the fun of the thing. We get into our ship, and just go on and
on till we come to somewhere or another, and then we land,
you know. It’s much the best way, and saves such a lot of
bother.”

“T am afraid we should be a long while reaching England
that way,” remarked Dick, dubiously.

“Oh, I don’t know,” said the Skipper, “we might drop
across it the first time, you know. You see, it’s not much use
knowing in which direction it lies, because, once you get out to
sea, there are no roads and things, so one way is as good as
another.”

“But don’t you use a compass ?”’ asked Marjorie.

““What’s that, Miss?” asked the Skipper.

“Why, a little thing that always points to the North,” said
Marjorie.

‘Blessed if I know, Miss,” said the Skipper, good-naturedly.

G
98 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



‘* Here, Bill,” he called to one of the sailors, ‘‘ do we use a little
thing that always points to the North?”

““Not as I knows on,’’ answered the man, sulkily. ‘“ We
ain’t got none of them new-fangled things, and don’t
want ’em.”

“Dear me, what a very odd ship yours must be,’ said Dick.
‘Ts it a steamer, or a sailing vessel, please ?”

‘Oh, it’s partly a sailing vessel and partly a rowing boat,”
said the Skipper. “‘ She’s a very fine ship,” he added, proudly,
**come and have a look at her.”

The children followed him to a kind of rough harbour, where
a most extraordinary craft was moored. She looked very like
a picture which all the children remembered having seen in an
old book at home, and although there was a small sail, a
number of gaily-painted paddles, sticking through the side of
the huge boat, showed that, as the Skipper had said, rowing
played a very important part in moving it along.

“What a dear old-fashioned thing,” exclaimed Marjorie,
directly she saw it.

The Skipper looked rather hurt. “It isn’t more than a
thousand years old,” he remarked.

“Well, that’s an awful long time for a ship to last, isn’t it ?”
said Marjorie, pleasantly.

“Our family is much older than that,” chimed in the Dodo,
consequentially. ‘* We date back to ——”

‘““Oh, please don’t go into ancient history,” said the Skipper,
“I can’t bear it; it reminds me so of my younger days, when I
was first learning to skip.”


The Archzopteryx. 99



“What do you mean?” asked the children. _

‘Why, when I was a little boy, you know,” explained the
Skipper, “I used to skip all the dry parts of a book—and the
pages and pages I used to skip of my ancient history you’d
never believe. It was that which decided my parents upon
making me a Skipper. ‘ He’ll never do for anything else,’ they
used to say ?”’

“Well, are you going aboard or not?” he added, “ because,
if so, we ought to be ee

“Oh, yes, let’s go,” pleaded Marjorie, ‘“ we might just as
well be on board as at this place, you know, and we shall, at
any rate, be going somewhere, and perhaps we shall find
someone who knows the way to England on the sea.”

So the children and the Dodo went aboard, and the Skipper
blew a little whistle, which he wore tied around his neck by a
white cord, and the sailors all came running up, bringing their
spinning wheels, which they packed away at the bow of the
vessel, and then settled themselves down at the oars. At the
other end was a cosy little cabin, and above it a small deck,
upon which the little passengers made themselves quite com-
fortable, and the Captain ordered the scales to be brought up
from below.

“What are they for?” asked Dick, who, boy-like, always
wanted to know the reason for everything.

“To weigh the anchor with,” explained the Skipper, seriously.
“We always have to weigh it when we start on a voyage, and
again when we reach our journey’s end.”

“What for?” asked Dick, who certainly remembered
100 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



having heard the expression ‘‘ weighing the anchor” before.
“Oh, I don’t know, I’m sure,” said the Skipper; ‘‘ pack of

nonsense, I calls it; but it’s the custom, and it’s got to be

done.”

So the anchor was duly weighed, and the exact weight put

down in a book, and the Argosy, as the ship was called, slowly

moved out of the har-
bour.

It was a beautiful
day, but there was
just a little breeze
blowing, and the sea
was a little “choppy”
outside, and, as a
consequence, the
Argosy rolled a little.

After they had been

out at sea for about’

an hour, and the
Skipper had been let-
ting them take turns
in looking through
his telescope, the



‘HOPE YOU'RE FEELING BETTER, SIR.”

Dodo suddenly muttered something about having “ forgotten

his pocket-handkerchief,” and hurried down into the cabin.

“Why, I didn’t know he had one,” said Marjorie, won-

deringly.

The Skipper winked, and said in a whisper behind his hand,
The Archzopteryx. IOI



“They always say that; he’s gone to lie down, the motion of
the boat has made him feel a little sea-sick.”

The Dodo didn’t come up for a long while, and at last
the Skipper said he would go down and see if he wanted
anything.

He found the poor bird looking the picture of misery, lolling
limply against the cushioned seat.

““Hope you’re feeling better, Sir,” he said, respectfully,
tugging at his forelock.

“Oh! oh!” groaned the Dodo. ‘‘ Do throw me overboard,
and let me die.”

““ Nonsense,” said the Skipper, cheerfully. ‘‘ You’ll be all
right in an hour or two.”

‘Oh, no,” said the bird; ‘I shall never be well again. I
have never, never felt so ill in all my life.”

‘“‘ Lie down, Sir, and I’ll cover you up with this rug,” said the
Skipper, kindly ; “‘ you’ll be better presently.”

‘“‘Don’t tell the others,” gasped the bird, faintly.

“All right, Sir,” was the reply, and the Skipper went on
deck again.

The breeze was quite fresh still, and the children had climbed
up into the “look-out,”.and were pointing eagerly into the
distance.

“Land! over there!’ shouted Dick, when he saw the
Skipper.

“Oh! Ah! It’s an island,” said the Skipper. ‘‘ I’ve been
there before. The Archzeopteryx lives there.”

“The what?” cried the children.
102 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.

“The Archeopteryx,” repeated the Skipper. ‘It’s an awful
name, isn’t it?”



“OVER THERE,’ SAID DICK.”’

“What is he?” demanded Dick.
“A kind of lizardish bird, or a birdish lizard, whichever you
i
:
|
:
i
;



The Archzopteryx. 103



like,” was the reply. ‘‘He’s a great swell, I can tell you, and
fancies himself immensely.”

The children were all eagerness to see this strange creature,
and could scarcely wait until the ship reached the land.

The Skipper went down and told the Dodo, who, directly he
heard that they would meet the Archzopteryx, made a great
effort to pull himself together again.



‘““ CHARMED TO MEET YOU,’ SAID THE ARCHEOPTERYX."'

““I mustn’t let him see me in this state,” he declared. “ He
is a distant relative of mine, and a person of great consequence.
Do you think,” he continued, addressing the Skipper, “that
you could clean up my gloves a little with some bread crumbs,
they have become slightly soiled; and would you kindly
rearrange my necktie?”
104, The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



These necessary preparations completed, the Dodo staggered
upon deck just as the Argosy reached the shore.

The Archzopteryx was waiting for them on the beach, and
recognized the Dodo immediately.

‘‘Charmed to meet you again,” he said, hurrying forward to
meet him, and raising his hat, with a polite bow. “ Pray,

introduce me to your friends.”






CHAPTER XIII.

The Little Panjandrum’s Balloon.

Archeopteryx, when the necessary introductions



had been made. “I’ve often wanted to meet
some human beings; come and have luncheon with me. I’ve
a couple of old friends staying here who will be delighted to
see you.” So saying, he led the way to where two most
extraordinary-looking creatures sat waiting at a table, which
was set for seven people.

“ Both antediluvians,” whispered their host, “the Palzo-
therium and the Etereedarium. Capital chaps, but crotchety.”

Fidge was a little alarmed at first, for they were really very
ugly. They seemed quite amiable, however; and the Palzxo-
therium—his mouth full of banana—motioned them to seats at
the table, and, turning to the Dodo, said, ‘‘ Haven't I seen you
before ?”’
106 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



The Dodo smirked, and, smoothing his gloves, said, in a self-
conscious voice, “ Very possibly we may have met before. I
don’t remember you, but mine is a face which one is not likely to
forget. Where did we meet, do you think ? ”

“I’m trying to remember,” said the Paleeotherium, “it must

have been several hundreds of years ago now, and my memory

”



is getting so bad

““T once stayed with the Ichthyosaurus,” said the Dodo.
“It may have been there.”

‘“‘Ah, that must have been it,” said the Paleotherium. “I
met a curious lot of people there—very mixed lot of associates
he had, to be sure.”

“Ahem,” said the Dodo, indignantly. “I hope you don’t
mean that I——”

“My dear Sir,” replied the other, “I’m quite sure you are
highly respectable ; your gloves alone are a guarantee for that.”

“ Thanks,” said the Dodo, looking quite happy again.

““Do you know any riddles?” asked the Eteredarium,
suddenly, addressing Dick.

“Let’s see,” said he, glad that the conversation had taken a
turn which they could all understand. “I think I do know a
few. Why is a robin like a waterbut ? ”

“ First of all,” said the Archzopteryx, anxiously, “ what is a
robin, and who is a waterbut ?”

“Oh, a robin,” explained Marjorie, “is a dear little bird
with a red breast that comes in the winter-——”

“Stop! stop!” said the Paleotherium, “one thing at a
time. What is a bird?”
The Little Panjandrum’s Balloon. 107



“Oh, I say! You must know what a bird is,” expostulated
Dick.

“I don’t,” said the Palzotherium, stubbornly.

“ Why—why—the Dodo is a bird,” explained Dick.

‘Yes, but nothing like a robin, Dick, dear,’”’ added Marjorie;

”



“a robin is such a sweet, pretty little thing

“Well, I never!” exclaimed the Dodo, “do you mean to
say I’m not a pretty little thing? ”

“Well, you’re not quite like a robin, are you?” said Marjorie,
getting out of the difficulty very cleverly.

“Not quite, perhaps,” admitted the Dodo ; “ but I am pretty,”
he added, decidedly.

“TI don’t see what all this has to do with my conundrum,”
said Dick.

“ Well, let’s try again,” said the Archzopteryx. ‘Why is a
robin like a waterbut ?”’

“A robin is a bird that comes in the winter,” repeated the
Eteredarium, ‘‘and the waterbut—is that also a bird?”

“Oh, no,” laughed Marjorie ; ‘fa waterbut is a tub for
holding water.”

“Can it fly?” asked the Eterzedarium.

“Of course not!” said Dick; “who ever heard of such a
thing?”

“Well, ts it like a robin? That’s the point,” said the
Palzotherium.

“Not in appearance,” admitted Dick. ‘Will you give it
up?” he added, looking around the table.

“Give what up?” asked the creatures.
108 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



“The conundrum,” replied Dick.

“T haven’t got it,” declared the Dodo.

“Nor have I.” “NorlI.” “Nor I,” said the others.

‘No, no! I mean, will you give the answer up?” said
Dick, losing patience.

“But we haven’t it,’’ said the Archezopteryx.

“Look here, I’ll tell you what we’ll do,” said the Palzo-
therium, generously: ‘I'll give up the robin, and my friend
here will give up the waterbut. There!”

“ Now that’s settled,’ said the Dodo, conclusively, “ J’// ask

29



you a conundrum. ‘If your wife’s aunt is

“Stop! stop!” said the Palzotherium, ‘I haven’t got a
wife, you know.”

“No,” said the Etereedarium, ‘he hasn’t, and, if he had, she
very likely would not have an aunt. Make it my wife’s aunt.”

“All right,” said the Dodo. “If your wife’s aunt is my
brother’s son, what relation is Dick to Tom?”

“You haven’t asked it right,” said Dick, who knew a riddle
something like that. ‘It’s ‘if this man’s father is that man’s
son, what relation is Dick to Tom?’ ”

“‘T wish you wouldn’t interfere,” said the Dodo. ‘‘I tell you
the question is right as I asked it.”

‘‘But your wife’s aunt couldn’t be anybody’s son,” said
Marjorie, who was trying to puzzle it out.

“Who said she was ?”? snapped the Dodo, crossly; “she is
as likely to be anybody’s son as a robin is to be like a waterbut,
and, besides, I didn’t say she was; I said, 7f she was, you

know.”




‘©’ WHO IS THE OTHER FINGER?’ INTERRUPTED THE
DODO, ANXIOUSLY.”’
IIo The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



“Well, let’s work it out,” said the Eteredarium, spreading
out his fingers. ‘‘Let’s see, that’s my wife’s aunt,” he con-
tinued, pointing to his thumb, “and that’s my brother’s son,”
he added, touching the next finger, ‘and the other two will do
for Dick and Tom. Now—er——”

“Who is the other finger?” interrupted the Dodo, anxiously.

“Me,” said the Paleotherium, solemnly and ungrammati-
cally.

“It isn’t,” declared the other.

“It is,” repeated the Paleotherium.

“Oh, very well! let it be so,” cried the Archzopteryx,
impatiently. ‘ What’s the answer, anyhow ?”

““T don’t know,” said the Eterzdarium, staring at his fingers
stupidly. ‘I don’t see what relation those two fingers are to
the other two. Well, what relation is Dick to Tom?” he
asked, turning to the Dodo.

“The same relation that the robin is to the waterbut,”’ said
that bird, conclusively. ‘Come on, let’s get the Skipper to
teach us how to dance a hornpipe,” and he led the way from
the table, quite disregarding the fact that the others had not
finished.

The Skipper, who had been quite as puzzled as the others
were by these extraordinary conundrums, willingly agreed, and,
first of all, danced a hornpipe himself very successfully, and
then did his best to teach the others.

The Dodo, with his short legs and big body, very soon gave
up trying, and, thoroughly worn out by the exertion, lay pant-
ing on the shingle, while the Etereedarium took his turn. He
The Little Panjandrum’s Balloon. Tey

got along capitally, and the children laughed heartily at the
queer capers which he cut.

They were in the midst of the fun, when the Dodo suddenly
jumped up, and, pointing excitedly up into the air, cried,
“Look! Look! What’s that?”



‘“ THE ETEREDARIUM TOOK HIS TURN.”

They all looked in the direction which he indicated, and after
a time discerned a tiny speck in the sky, which the Skipper
declared, after watching some time, to be a balloon.

“It’s all red,” cried Marjorie, whose eyesight was very keen.

“What!” exclaimed the Dodo, tremblingly. “Red! Are
you sure?” he enquired, anxiously.
II2 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.

** Certain,” said Marjorie.

“Yes,” said Dick, ‘‘I can see it now; it’s quite red—a bright
scarlet, in fact.”

“The Little Panjandrum’s State Balloon!” gasped the
Dodo, in a terrible fright. ‘‘ Oh, my dear friends, hide me some-
where! If he finds me I’m done for! I’ve—got—his gloves
on—oh! How could I have been so foolish as to have taken
them—it’s all my pride—and now I shall have to suffer for it—
oh !—oh!”? And the Dodo, quite overcome with fear and
anxiety, fell upon his knees and sobbed violently.

Meanwhile the state balloon belonging to His Importance

the Little Panjandrum rapidly drew near.






CHAPTER XIV.

The Duff and Dem Erecutioner.

AIAN you see who’s in it ?”’ asked the Dodo, anxiously,

if



when the balloon had drawn a little nearer.

‘“Two gentlemen,’ declared Marjorie, whose
eyesight was very keen. ‘‘And one is carrying such a funny
stick, with a big hand at the top of it.”

“And the other one has just put on a hideous black mask,
and has a curious kind of pole with a sort of scythe at the end,”
chimed in Dick.

“What!” screamed the Dodo, ‘‘a black mask! Then it’s
the Lord High Executioner, and the other is the Court Glover.
Oh dear! oh dear! what will become of me? I wish I'd never
seen the wretched old gloves.”

The balloon by this time was almost directly overhead
and was descending rapidly. Presently two ropes were thrown

H
TI4 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



out, and a muffled voice cried, “Catch hold of these,

please.”
Dick politely ran forward and hung on to one rope, while

Marjorie and Fidge took the other.



Ge Es
fern yeast

‘“THE COURT GLOVER ARRIVES."

The occupants of the balloon then lowered some wooden
steps, and gravely descended, the Lord High Executioner
leading the way.
The Duff and Dem Executioner. II5



The balloon, lightened of its occupants, bounded upwards
again, and the children (who had the greatest difficulty in
hanging on to the ropes) called to the Archeopteryx and the
others, to come to their aid. To their great surprise, however,
they discovered that these creatures, taking the Dodo with
them, had quietly slipped away.

The Court Glover and the Executioner helped the children
to fasten the balloon to one of the large palm trees, and then
the Court Glover, folding his arms, turned to them abruptly
and enquired, ‘‘ Where is he?”

“Who do you mean, Sir?” asked Dick.

“The Dodo,” was the response.

“Oh! the Dodo! Why, he was here just now. I expect
he has gone off with the Archzopteryx and the others,” said
Dick.

“ The what!” exclaimed the Court Glover.

‘“The er—Archzopteryx,” said Dick, hesitatingly, fearing
that he might have mispronounced the name.

>

“H’m! You see,” said the Court Glover, addressing the
Executioner, ‘‘to what depths this misguided bird has fallen,
to actually associate with an animal bearing a name of that
description. I suppose it 7s an animal, by-the-bye,”’ he added,
turning to the children.

“Well,” laughed Marjorie, ‘‘we are not quite sure. The
Dodo says it’s a kind of lizard-like bird, or bird-like lizard.”

“It’s got feathers,” chimed in Fidge.

““Ough! The miserable creature doesn’t even know what it

is ttself, I expect,” said the Court Glover, in tones of disgust.
116 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



“The others,” said Dick, reflectively, “‘ are evidently animals
—the Paleotherium and the Eteredarium, you know.”

‘Look here,” interrupted the Court Glover, severely, “ you
really must zot use such disgraceful language. I am not accus-
tomed to it.”

‘““ Why, they are only names,” explained Dick, smilingly.

“Very well, then. Call the creatures thingummybobs ; I shall
know what you mean—only don’t use those other awful words
again, they’re outrageous. Now then, to come to the point—
where is that Dodo? ”

“Pll try and find him,” said Dick, obligingly, running off in
the direction of some bushes, behind which he imagined that he
might possibly find the runaways.

“Is your—er—chopper ready?” said the Court Glover,
turning to the Executioner.

‘“ He—he—he—ye—es!” giggled that worthy.

“Oh! If you please,” pleaded Marjorie, “I do hope you
are not going to execute the poor Dodo. I’m sure he’s very
sorry that he took the Little Panjandrum’s gloves, and he will
give them back, I know. Please, please, forgive him.”

‘““He—he—he!” giggled the Executioner again.

“Do be quiet,” shouted the Court Glover.

“Yes, I don’t see anything to laugh at,” said Marjorie,
indignantly. .

“Oh, he’s always laughing,” declared the Court Glover ;
“that’s why he has to wear a mask—so that people shan’t see
him laughing while he is chopping off their heads. It’s so rude,
you know, to giggle at a time like that, isn’t it ?”
The Duff and Dem Executioner. 117



“I should think so, indeed,” cried Marjorie, in a horrified
voice; ‘“‘ perfectly disgraceful, I call it.”

“ That’s what the last man who was executed said,” declared
the Court Glover. ‘ After it was all over, he said, ‘ Well, I was
never so disgracefully executed before in all my life ; and I hope
the next time you chop off my head, you'll get someone else
to:doat..

“T don’t understand,” said Marjorie, who was dread-
fully puzzled. ‘‘How could he say all that after he was
executed?”

‘Why not?” asked the Court Glover, composedly.

‘‘Why, people can’t talk when they are killed, you know,”
said Marjorie. p

“ He—he—he!” sniggered the Executioner, putting his
hand up to his mouth under his mask.

The Court Glover frowned at him. ‘“ Bless you, they aren’t
killed |”? he said. :

“‘ Not killed, when they are executed! ” cried Marjorie.

The Executioner giggled louder than ever, and shook his
head.

““What do you mean?” asked Marjorie.

“Don’t ask me, I’m duff and dem,” said the Executioner.

“He means dem and duff,’ explained the Court Glover,
considerately.

Marjorie laughed, and so did Fidge. ‘‘ You are both wrong,”
she said. ‘‘ You mean deaf and dumb, I suppose. But I don’t
think that can be the case, for he must have heard me, ©

because he answered my question, you know.”
118 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



“T didn’t say anything about being deaf or dumb, either. I -
simply said I was duff and dem, and I defy you to prove to the
contrary,” said the Executioner, stubbornly.

Marjorie was quite bewildered; but there was no time for
further argument, for, just then, Dick and the Archeopteryx
returned, supporting the Dodo (who appeared half dead
with fright), and followed by the Paleotherium and the
Eteredarium, walking
arm in arm.

“Ah! now we will
settle this little matter,”
said the Court Glover,
placing himself in an
_ imposing attitude, and
motioning the Execu-
tioner to stand a little
way behind him.

The Dodo prostra-
ted himself before
them, the tears stream-



“THE DODO PROSTRATED HIMSELF
BEFORE THEM.”

ing from his eyes, and
the offending gloves thrown on the ground in front of him.
“Miserable fowl!” began the Court Glover.
The Dodo winced.
“To what degraded depths have you sunken! I find you
here hob-a-nobbing with thingummybobs and what’s-his-names.”
“Here, I say, hold on!” interrupted the Archeopteryx.
“If you mean us, you know, we are——”


The Duff and Dem Executioner. 119



““ Thingummybobs and what’s-his-names,’’ repeated the Court
Glover, waving his hand contemptuously. ‘‘ Was it to create
an impression amongst such creatures as these that you ran off
with the very best pair of white kid gloves in the whole collec-
tion belonging to His Importance the Little Panjandrum ? Oh,
Dodo! Dodo! Dodo! it is too much!” f

““How much too much?” enquired the Palzotherium, kindly
taking out his
purse.

The Court
Glover waved
him aside
with an im-
patientscowl.

“The van-
ity of the
pucd}es she

went on—



“white kid, «BEAR UP, OLD MAN.’ SAID THE ARCHAOPTERYX.”’
above all
others! Why, you might have taken a dozen pairs of coloured
cotton gloves, and no one would have minded in the least ;
but best white kid—oh! shocking! shocking! And look at
the state you’ve made them in! But there—what can be
expected of a creature that goes wandering about the world
visiting what-you-may-call-ems.”

‘‘ Of course, there’s nothing to be done,” continued the Court

Glover, after an impressive pause, ‘‘ but to execute you.”
120 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



The Dodo sobbed; and Marjorie, who was greatly concerned,
began: ‘‘ Oh, please ——”

But the Court Glover was inexorable, and murmured solemnly,
*“In one hour’s time—here,”’ he walked off towards the
balloon, followed by the Executioner, who was giggling idioti-
cally, and had to stuff a handkerchief into his mouth, to prevent
himself from laughing outright.

“Inhuman wretch—there!” said Marjorie, bursting into
tears, while the Dodo’s friends assisted him up from the
ground, where he was lying in a half-fainting condition.

“Bear up, old man,” said the Archeopteryx, sympathetically,
fanning him with his tail.

“When did he say ?” enquired the Dodo, faintly.

“In an hour’s time,” said Dick, sadly.

The Dodo shuddered.

“Stop!” said the Eteredarium, suddenly. “I think I have
found a way out of the difficulty.”

“Oh! what is it? What is it?” cried the Dodo, eagerly ;
while the others all crowded round to hear what the Etere-
darium had to say.






CHAPTER XV.

CBe Execution of éBe B)odo,

ie ET us pretend,” suggested the Palzotherium, “ that
the Dodo is dead. They will readily imagine that



the shock has been too much for him, and, of
course, being dead, there will be no necessity to execute him.”

‘‘He—he—he! Verynice indeed! A capital arrangement!”
gigeled a voice over the children’s shoulder; and, turning round,
they beheld the Executioner, who had apparently overheard
everything that had been said.

‘Bother!’ remarked the Paleotherium; ‘“‘ now I shall have
to invent some other way.”

“T can’t think,” said the Executioner, who had removed his
mask, and who the children discovered to be a very amiable-
looking gentleman—‘‘ I can’t think why you are making all this
fuss about the execution.”

“Well, how would you like it yourself?’ asked the Dodo,
indignantly.
122 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



“‘T shouldn’t mind in the least,” remarked the Executioner,
coolly.
- “ Not mind being killed! ” shuddered the children.

“Oh, that’s another question entirely,” said the Executioner.





We




|
: NX yet\\ | (€2

x

‘‘T NEVER KILL ANYBODY WHEN I CHOP THEIR HEADS OFF.”

“*T never kill anybody when I chop their heads off. It would
be so cruel; besides, that old-fashioned way is so ordinary.

I am the Executioner Extraordinary, you know.”
The Execution of the Dodo. 123



“Well, how on earth do you execute people, then, if you
don’t kill them ?”? demanded Dick.

““Oh, by a new method, which I have invented myself,”
declared the Executioner. ‘I call it execution by proxy. I
just make an effigy.”

“* What’s that?’ enquired Marjorie.

“Don’t interrupt,” said Dick. ‘‘Guy Fawkes is an effigy,
you know—an old stuffed thing, with a mask on. Go on,
please.”

“ Well, then,” continued the Executioner, “‘ having made an

effigy, as near like my subject as possible, I just chop its head

off, and there is an end of the matter.”

He looked around at the company, and smiled triumphantly.

Marjorie gave a sigh of relief. She didn’t so much mind the
execution taking place if the poor Dodo was not to be killed.
To her great surprise, however, on looking at that interesting |
bird, she discovered that he was weeping copiously, and wiping
with an elaborate lace handkerchief, which had evidently been
concealed about his person, the tears which trickled slowly
down his great beak.

““What’s the matter, poor goosey, goosey, gander?” said
Fidge, sympathetically.

“Don’t!” snapped the Dodo, crossly. “I’m mot a goose.”

“Well, what is the matter, anyhow?” said Dick. ‘‘ They
are not going to chop your head off it appears ; so you ought to
be glad, and not snivel like that.”

““T d—don’t want to—to be—e m—made a guy of,” sobbed
the Dodo.
124 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo. |



‘‘ What do you mean?” asked the Executioner.

“‘ Why, you said you would have to make an effigy of me;
and he” (pointing to Dick) ‘‘ said it was a kind of Guy Fawkes,
didn’t you?” he added, appealing to Dick.

“Well, never mind,” said the Archzopteryx, sympathetically ;
“‘ you have the consolation that they couldn’t make you a bigger
guy than you are.”

Strangely enough, the Dodo seemed to derive a considerable
amount of comfort from this idea, and, wiping away the few
remaining tears, he began to take an active interest in the
manufacture of the effigy, which the others set about construct-
ing without further delay.

‘Ts it like me?” he asked, conceitedly, as they bound some
cloths to a piece of stick, in such a way that they bore some
slight resemblance to a bird.

‘‘ Dear me, what a pity! I’m not moulting, or you might have
had one or two of my feathers to stick on for a tail,” he added.

“‘H’m! I shouldn’t have thought you had any to spare for
moulting purposes,” said the Archzopteryx.

“Don’t be unkind,” retorted the Dodo; ‘‘ you haven’t many
to boast of.”

‘I’ve more than you have, anyhow,” said the Archzopteryx.

‘‘Oh, for goodness’ sake leave off quarrelling. What on
earth does it matter how many feathers you have?” said Dick.

“Not to a boy, I suppose,” remarked the Dodo, somewhat
insolently; ‘‘ but no respectable bird would care to be seen
about with less than five; though, undoubtedly, too many are
vulgar ”’—this with a scornful glance at the Archeopteryx’s
The Execution of the Dodo. 125



tail, which was decorated with quite a number of curious flat
feathers.

I don’t know how much longer this wrangling would have
gone on, had not the Court Glover just then made his
appearance.

“ Time’s up!” he announced, sternly. ‘‘ Are you prepared
for execution, Dodo?”

“Not quite,” answered the Executioner, who was putting the
finishing touches to the effigy; ‘‘ his head keeps tumbling off.”

“Never mind, it will save cutting it off,” said the Court
Glover, who was evidently quite used to the Executioner’s
patent method of performing his dreadful duty.

‘“‘ Now then,” he continued, importantly. ‘‘Stand round in
a ting while I read the Warrant. ‘Ahem! Nevertheless,
likewise, notwithstanding, and heretofore, as is aforesaid. It
having been proven that a certain bird named the Dodo having
maliciously and contemptibly worn the white kid gloves of the
Little Panjandrum, it is hereby enacted that the said Dodo,
or his heirs male, or assigns, be chopped at the neck till one or
all of their respective heads do fall off—and this to be done to
their entire satisfaction. LONG LIVE THE PANJANDRUM!’”

“‘ What a rigmarole ! ” whispered Dick, while the Executioner
stretched out thé Dodo’s effigy on the ground, and, resuming
his hideous black mask, made ready to strike.

“Alas! Alas! ’? murmured the Court Glover, covering his
face with his hands, and peeping through his fingers, while the
Dodo held his sides with suppressed laughter.

The children all looked on with interest as the Executioner
126 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



performed his terrible duty. Raising his curious scythe-like
chopper, with one mighty blow he severed the piece of wood
which answered for the Dodo’s neck, and then stood gloomily

aside.
“Fiat Fustitia!” said the
Court Glover, solemnly ; and Gi,

then, turning to the Dodo,






i F =
iy cm |
ic {

‘faLas! ALAs!’ MURMURED THE COURT GLOVER.”

he enquired, anxiously, ‘“‘ Well, how did you like it?”

“Oh! it was delightful!” replied the bird, enthusiastically.
“T am sure no one could wish to have a pleasanter or more
delightful execution. I’m much obliged to you for having it so
nicely performed.”
The Execution of the Dodo. 127



“Well, we always like to manage these little things as
pleasantly as possible, you know,” said the Court Glover,
deprecatingly.

“Oh! I quite enjoyed it!” said the Dodo. ‘“ That’s a very
nice Executioner you have.” ;

“Yes; isn’t he?” agreed the Court Glover. ‘‘ Pity he
laughs so much, though, it spoils the effect. Well, having
done my duty, I must be off. Any message for the Little
Panjandrum ?”

“Oh! can’t we go back with you in the balloon?” asked
Marjorie, eagerly, for it seemed to her a capital opportunity of
getting away from this strange place.

‘“H’m! I’m afraid not,’ said the Court Glover, reflectively.
“You see, it only holds two comfortably.”

“Where do you want to go to?”’ asked the Archzopteryx.

“England!” said the children, all together.

“Oh! that’s all right. I'll tell you the way to get there,”
said the Paleotherium.

And the Court Glover and the Executioner began to undo
the cords which held the balloon to the palm tree.

‘You might leave me your card,” said the Dodo to the
Executioner, pressing a small coin into his hand. “TI shall
probably go in for a complete course of execution when I get
back again; and, besides, the address of a good, reliable
Executioner is a handy thing to have in the house.”

The Executioner giggled, and handed the bird his card, and
then both he and the Court Glover got into the car, and the

balloon was soon vanishing in the distance.
128 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



After watching them nearly out of sight the Dodo capered
wildly about till the children began to fear that he had suddenly
gone off his head.

“‘ Whatever is the matter ?”’ enquired Dick. ‘‘ Why are you
carrying on in that absurd way?”

The Dodo fumbled beneath one wing, and drew forth a little
paper package.

“Hal! ha! ha! They went away without the gloves after all!”
he shrieked, and began to roll about on the ground in an

uncontrollable fit of laughter.




GRUAP AER SVile

The DreBistoric Doctor.

CAN’T imagine,” said Dick, ‘‘why you think

such a lot of those wretched old gloves. They seem



to have got you into quite enough trouble already.”

’

“‘ They look so respectable,” explained the Dodo, “and give
one such an air. You have never before seen a bird wearing
gloves, now, have you?” he added, appealing to the company
generally, who were obliged to flatter his vanity by confessing
that they never had.

Dick, however, in a spirit of pure mischief, decided to play
him a trick. So, when the Dodo, having put on one glove,
strutted away to show off before the Archeopteryx, leaving the
other one behind him, Dick quickly picked it up and put it on
himself, then calling to aid the power which the Panjandrum’s
Ambassador had given him of being able to make himself
whatever size he wished, he cried, ‘“‘I wish to be as big as the

I
130 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



biggest giant that ever lived,’ and immediately became so tall
that the Palzotherium and the Eterzdarium, who were standing
near, fled in dismay, while Marjorie and Fidge looked up with
the greatest of admiration to their now big—big brother.

Dick then telling them, in a voice that sounded like thunder,
to stand aside, took off the glove, which had, of course, grown
with him, and threw it on to the ground, where it lay a huge
mass of coarse leather as many feet long as it had formerly been
inches, and with buttons almost as big as dinner plates.

It was, of course, the easiest matter imaginable for Dick to
reduce himself to his proper size again, while the glove remained
as it was, and this he very quickly did, to the evident relief of
the poor Palzotherium and the Etereedarium, who had been
trembling and quaking behind a clump of trees, and looking
with the greatest disquietude at these extraordinary proceedings.

“‘This is fine growing weather, Sir,” remarked the Palzo-
therium, respectfully, as he came forward and stood by Dick
beside the enormous glove.

Dick laughed, and rather delighted in the evident impression
which he had made upon the creatures by his performance, and
a moment after the Dodo returned, looking about him eagerly
in search of his lost property.

‘“‘What’s the matter?” enquired Dick, solicitously.

‘‘ Er—have any of you seen a white kid glove lying about ?”’
said the Dodo, anxiously.

“Ts that it?” asked Dick, pointing to the enormous object
lying at his feet.

The Dodo gave a start.
The Prehistoric Doctor. 131



‘“Er—er—oh—my!” he exclaimed. ‘I do believe—why,
surely it isn’t—yes—yes—bless me, if I don’t believe that it
really 7s my glove. Why, whatever has happened to it?”

“Tt certainly looks rather large for you,” remarked the
Palzotherium.

‘Large! why
it’s prodigious !”
exclaimed the
Dodo.

“What size
do you wear?”
asked Marjorie,
who was enjoy-
ing the fun.

The Dodo un-
did the glove
which he had
on and looked
inside.

“* Sevens,” he
remarked.

“And this,”

said Dick, kick- “(Ig THAT IT?’ ASKED DICK.”



ing the enormous
glove open, “is marked ninety-nines!”

“T don’t believe I could wear that size,” said the bird, dis-
consolately. ‘* Whatever is to be done?”

“I should get insideit altogether, if I were you,” suggested Dick.
132 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” said the Dodo, beginning to cry.
“It’s bad enough to—to—have one’s gloves car—carrying
on in this fas—fashion, without being laughed at by—by a
parcel of cre—creatures that don’t care anything about their
per—per—personal appearance, and who—who nev—never
wore a p-—p—pair of gloves in their lives!”

“Oh!” cried Marjorie, “I’m sure we wear gloves when we
are at home, don’t we, Dick ?”

“Of course,” said he.

‘““And me, too,” declared Fidge; “me wears goves.”

**T don’t believe it,’ sobbed the Dodo; “and if I did, I
wouldn’t, so there! ”’

“T think you are an awful cry-baby,” said Dick; ‘“ I should be
ashamed, if I were you, to be always snivelling about nothing.”

The Dodo didn’t answer, but sat down beside the enormous
glove, and continued to sob and cry till his eyes, which were
never very beautiful, became swollen and red, and his little lace
handkerchief was wringing wet with his tears.

Marjorie, in her kind-hearted way, tried to comfort him, and
privately suggested to Dick that, as the poor bird seemed so
very much cut up about his glove, that he should restore it to
its natural size again.

This, however, Dick positively refused to do for the present,
and the Dodo becoming worse instead of better, the Archeop-
teryx said he should go and fetch a doctor.

“Oh, do!” cried the Dodo, sitting up, and becoming
interested at once. ‘I love doctors, they give you such nice
stuff to take.”
The Prehistoric Doctor. 133



‘‘Ough!”’ shuddered Marjorie.

‘I’m sure they do, then,” said the Dodo; ‘lovely little pills
with sugar on them, and powders in jam—oh, lovely! Don’t
you think powders in jam delicious?” he asked, appealing to
Dick.

“No; I certainly don’t,” was the reply, as the Archeopteryx,
followed by a funny-
looking littleold man,
came running back.

The Prehistoric
Doctor—for so the
children found he
was called—was
dressed in a coarse
coat made of bear’s
skin, under which

was a spotless shirt-



front and collar; an = a yee Le|
old-fashioned pair of “¢ruT, TUT, THIS IS SERIOUS,’ SAID
horn-rimmed _ spec- THE DOCTOR.”
tacles completed his
costume, while some dangerous-looking surgical instruments
projected from a rough pocket tacked on to the side of
his coat.

“ Ah!—h’m! and how-are we feeling this morning?” he
said, kindly, going up to the Dodo.

The bird turned up his eyes pathetically eae gave a sigh.

“Like a dying duck in a thunderstorm,” whispered Dick,
134 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



and Marjorie had to hold her handkerchief to her mouth to

keep from giggling out loud.

“Ah! How is
the pulse ?’’ con-
tinued the Doctor,
in a soothing voice.

The Dodo gravely
extended the pinion

with the glove on it.-

This seemed to
. puzzle the Doctor a
little at first, but
after looking at it
for a moment
through his spec-
tacles, he fished an
enormous silver
watch out of ano-
ther pocket in his
skin coat, and care-
fully pinching the
glove between his
finger and thumb,
regarding his time-
piece anxiously.

This operation



‘“THEY HURRIED TO THE STATION.”

over, he shook his head gravely, and demanded to see the

Dodo’s tongue.
The Prehistoric Doctor. 135



“©Oh! I couldn’t!” simpered the bird; “I really couldn't ;
it’s so rude to put out one’s tongue, you know.”

A little persuasion, however, on the part of the Doctor pre-
vailed upon him to open his enormous beak, and the examination
was proceeded with.

“Tut! tut! this is serious!’ exclaimed the Doctor, regard-
ing the Dodo’s tongue critically. ‘‘ We must have a change of
air immediately, and thorough rest. I will go and make you
up a little prescription, and I would advise you to start at once.
The air at—er—the Crystal Palace would suit you admirably.
There is an excursion starting to-day. I should certainly go
by that if I were you.”

“The Crystal Palace! Why, that’s near London !”’ cried
Marjorie, excitedly. ‘ Can’t we go by the excursion, too?”

‘“©Of course you can,” chimed in the Paleotherium ; “we'll
all go, and make up a nice little family party.”

So, without further ado—the Doctor having made up his
prescription, consisting of a large bottle of “ bull’s eyes,” one
to be taken every quarter of an hour—they hurried to the
station, at the door of which a most energetic porter was

ringing a huge bell.








CHAPTER XVII.

Watting for the Train.

“pW HEY found, on reaching the station, which was a very

primitive affair with a thatched roof, that the booking-



office was closed.

“Clerk be goned away for ’ees ’oliday,” explained the
Porter, with a grin.

‘‘ Then whatever are we going to do about tickets?” asked
Marjorie, anxiously, for the trip to the Crystal Palace seemed
to afford such an excellent opportunity of getting home again
’ that she was anxious not to miss it.

‘‘He may be back before the train comes in,” said the
Archeopteryx; ‘“‘there doesn’t seem to be one in sight, and
we often have to wait weeks and weeks for a train here, you
know.”

“But what was he ringing the bell for, then?’ enquired
Dick, ‘‘if the train isn’t coming in.”
Waiting for the Train. 137



‘‘T seed some smoke awhile ago, over yonder,” said the
Porter, “and I thought maybe ’tmight be th’ train, but like as
not it isn’t.”

“‘Then we have had this long run for nothing,’
the Dodo, breathlessly.

“‘Calm yourself, my dear Sir,” said the Doctor, patting him

’ complained

on the back; ‘‘excitement of any kind is very bad for you.
We will wait here quietly till the train does come.”

“ But isn’t there a time-table?’’ asked Dick, ‘‘so that we
can tell when to expect it.”’

‘No, Sir,” said the Porter. ‘‘ There was a time-table when
I fust come here, nine years ago; but it got lost somehow, and
we've never had another.”

By this time the platform was crowded with a number of
other animals, who had apparently come to join the excursion.

‘‘We had better get our tents before they are all gone,”
whispered the Palzotherium.

“Ah, yes, of course,” said the Eteredarium. “‘ Er—Porter,
just bring us some tents, will you?”

‘‘Tents!’? exclaimed the children.

“Yes; if we are to stay here till the train starts we shall find
it very awkward at night without tents, you know.”

“‘Oh, yes, tents by all means,” said the Archzopteryx. “I
think five will be sufficient,” he added.

The Porter grumbled a little, and then brought forth from
somewhere a number of poles and some canvas tents, and these
the creatures began solemnly to erect on various parts of the

platform.
138 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.

The Dodo excused himself from assisting, on the plea that he
might soil his gloves, and contented himself with fussing about
and giving directions in a loud voice.

While the tents were being erected, the children amused
themselves by exploring their surroundings.

“Oh! there’s a refreshment room!” exclaimed Marjorie,



“THE DODO CONTENTED HIMSELF WITH FUSSING ABOUT AND

GIVING DIRECTIONS.”

pointing to a hole in the wall, on the ledge of which were
displayed a few doubtful-looking articles.

“Shall I join you in a little light repast?” said an insinua-
ting voice behind them, and, turning around, they beheld the
Dodo smoothing his glove and smirking ingratiatingly.
Waiting for the Train. 139



Dick felt in his pocket, and was delighted to find that he had
a two-shilling-piece tucked away in a corner. .

“Yes, we might as well have something,” he said, gener-
ously. ‘I wonder who attends to this department? There
doesn’t seem to be anybody about.”

He knocked at the wall with his two-shilling-piece, and,
suddenly, an elderly lady, with a very sharp face and a shrill
voice, popped her head up, and exclaimed, ‘‘ Well! what
do you want?”

Dick was startled by her sudden appearance; and stammered
a little.

“ Er—er—a



” he began. -

“A glass bun and a bath of milk, please,” prompted the
Dodo.

“No; he means a bath bun anda glass of milk,” laughed
Marjorie, smiling up at the lady’s face.

There was no smile in response, however, and she replied,
crossly, ‘‘ Why doesn’t he say what he means, then? We've
no bath buns, and no milk,” she went on. ‘“ There’s a currant
bun, a box of chocolates, and a bottle of gingerbeer. You
can take them or leave them, whichever you like.”

“‘ Er--how much is the bun, please?” enquired Dick.

‘‘ Shilling,” snapped the waitress.

“Dear me! that’s rather expensive, isn’t it?” said Dick,
regarding his two-shilling-piece ruefully. ‘And I’m afraid it
looks a little stale, too.”

‘Well, I never!” said the waitress, tossing her head scorn-

fully, and shaking back her little corkscrew curls. ‘* What
140 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



next, I wonder? That bun has been here on and off for seven-
teen years, and I never had a complaint about it before. Stale,
indeed!” And she sniffed scornfully.

“Perhaps we had better try the chocolate,” suggested
Marjorie. ‘Can you tell us, please, how many pieces there
are in the box ?” she asked.

“No, I can’t!’” was the ungracious reply. ‘It’s half-a-
crown,” she added.

That, of course, put it out of the question, and as the ginger-
beer bottle turned out to be empty, the contents having
evaporated some years since, the children were obliged to turn,
somewhat disconsolately, away from the “refreshment room,”
and as they left they heard the waitress complaining,
crossly —

“TI can’t think what people want to come bothering for
refreshments for, when I am busy reading; some folks have no
consideration for others.’’ And she disappeared as mysteriously
as she had arrived.

A little further down the platform, to their great delight, they
discovered an automatic machine, but were greatly disappointed
to find that it only professed to supply “ furniture polish,” “tin
tacks,” and “ postage stamps.”

“And as we have no post office here at all,” said the Archz-
opteryx, who had by this time joined them, “the stamps are of
no use whatever. Fortunately,” he went on, ‘‘the Paleo-
therium brought some banana sandwiches in his carpet bag ;
so, if you come back with me to his tent, we can have a little

supper before we go to bed.”
Waiting for the Train. I41

The children very gratefully accepted the invitation, and were
delighted on entering the tent to find that the Eteredarium
and the Paleotherium had arranged quite a dainty little repast
with the sandwiches, some fresh fruit, and cocoanut milk,
which was served in the shell.

While the feast was progressing it began to grow quite dark,
and the Dodo
suggested ask-
ing the Porter
for a light.

“‘There’s only
one candle,’’
grumbled that
individual, ‘‘and
I be obligated to
use that for the
signal.”

So there was
nothing to be
done but to
hurry over the



“oH! DO LEAVE OFF!’ SCREAMED THE DODO.

supper as soon
as possible, and go to rest.

Marjorie and Fidge shared a little tent next to the Dodo and
Dick, and the children made themselves as comfortable as they
could, under the circumstances, with some cushions and rugs,
with which the Porter had provided them; and, after chatting for
a little while about their strange adventures, dropped off to sleep.
142 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



They were awakened after an hour or two by the clanging of
a huge bell, and, hastily putting their heads out of the tent,
beheld the Porter rushing up and down the platform, ringing
his bell violently. The candle was flaring away at the top of
the signal pole, and the children jumped to the conclusion that
the train had been signalled.

‘“‘What’s up!” called out Dick, as the Porter approached.

There was no answer, and the great bell was plied more
vigorously than ever.

“Oh! do leave off!” screamed the Dodo. ‘‘ What’s the
bell for?”

“To keep you awake,” shouted the Porter. ‘I shall keep
on ringing this bell all night to prevent you from going to
sleep, in case the train comes in and you don’t hear it.”

‘ But the noise will drive us mad,” expostulated the Dodo.

““H’m! won’t have far to drive you, then,” said the Porter,
rudely. ‘‘ Howsomedever, I’m going to do my duty, whatever
happens, and this ’ere bell I’m going to ring if I drops.”

Remonstrance was vain, and as it was hopeless to try and
sleep through all the noise the children got up again, and had
hardly done so, when, looking towards the end of the platform,
they beheld a red and a green light appearing around the curve,
and a moment later the train dashed into the station.

“Crystal Palace train! Crystal Palace train! Take your
seats, there!” shouted the Guard ; and, regardless of the fact
that they had no tickets, the children and their friends
scrambled in.




CHAPTER XVIII.

A Night in tbe Train.

SAAT a funny puff-puff!” exclaimed Fidge, when,

all of the creatures on the platform having entered



the train, it slowly steamed out of the station,
while the Porter took down the candlestick signal and carefully
extinguished the light, remarking aloud, as he did so, “ Well,
thank goodness, they’ve gone!”

“YT think,” said Dick, looking about him curiously, ‘‘that it
must be what is called a sleeping car.”

“Yes, of course it is,” agreed the. Prehistoric Doctor, who
had joined the party. “ See, here are the sleeping bunks.
This is mine,” he added, taking possession of one of the lower
berths by throwing his carpet bag on to it.

“T’ll have the one above it,” announced the Palzotherium,
climbing up to the upper berth, and clumsily treading on the
Prehistoric Doctor’s hand as he did so.
144 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



*‘T shall have to be near my Doctor, of course, as Jam an
invalid,” remarked the Dodo, plaintively, ‘‘so shall take the
lower berth next to him.”

And thus each of the creatures took up their respective
positions, and the children thought it best to follow their
example. Dick and Fidge climbed up to one of the upper
berths, and Marjorie made herself comfortable in the one
below them.

“It’s much better than being in those horrid little tents on
the draughty station,” she called out; ‘‘and we are sure to get
to somewhere in this train, aren’t we, Dick?”

“Yes, rather,’ was her elder brother’s reply. “I say, Sis,
what are we going to do when they ask us for our tickets at the
Crystal Palace? I haven’t got any money except this two
shillings, have you?”

”

‘“ Not a penny,” admitted Marjorie. ‘‘ However,” she added,
yawning sleepily, “‘I suppose it will all come right; none of
the other creatures took tickets, you know. The great thing is
to get back to England.”

“There’s a window up here, and I have just looked out,”
said Dick, “it’s all pitch dark.”

“Yes,” murmured Marjorie; ‘“‘Underground Railway to
Crystal Palace; that’s how we went last time, you know—part of
the way, at any rate—let’s go to sleep now. Good-night, Dick.”

“ Good-night.”

“ Nighty, nighty!” shouted Fidge.

“‘ Good-night, Fidge, dear,” was his sister’s reply, in a very

tired voice.
A Night in the Train. 145



A moment afterwards the train gave a lurch, and there was a
crash and a loud cry from one of the lower berths.

Dick hastily scrambled down to ascertain what was the
matter, and found that the Dodo had tumbled out of bed.

“Bless my gloves and beak!” ejaculated the bird, as he
picked himself up; ‘‘it’s enough to frighten one out of their
lives, isn’t it?”

“Have you hurt yourself much?” enquired Dick, kindly.
eNCOn Nel













don’t think \ fT ii
so,” said the _ alle | it
Dodo, care- -) | h
. oe a
fully feeling
himself all wep os,

over to see if

y I % ae Nb L©) yw
any bones Yj a go ie j

Z_\ Z

were broken. j : 4% Y
Ws é > is Zin Z
‘“How do a i a : Se
P OO? ane >
LO ea Wee pe
; CE EE

you like my he eas
nightcap >??? «BLESS MY GLOVES AND BEAK!’ EJACULATED THE DODO.”

he enquired,
suddenly and inconsequently. ‘‘ Does it suit me?”
‘Oh, it’s all right, I suppose,” said Dick, laughing in spite
of himself at the bird’s vanity. ‘‘ Where did you get it?”
“Found it under my pillow,” announced the bird, trium-
phantly. ‘‘That’s why I tumbled out of bed, so that someone,
at any rate, should come and see me in it. “ sNébody else seems
to be coming, though,” he added, looking anxiously up and

K
146 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



down, ‘‘so I shall go to bed again; but I shall leave my
curtains wide open, so that if anybody passes by during the
night, or in the morning, they will see how beautiful I am when
I am asleep.”

At that moment there was an awful noise like a deep groan,
which grew and grew in volume till it sounded like distant
thunder, and then faded away and ended up with a comical
- little whistle. Again and again it was repeated.

“Oh, Dick! what is it?” called Marjorie, putting her head
outside the curtains.

“I can’t think,” said Dick, in a puzzled voice.

“Where have I heard that sound before?” exclaimed the
Dodo, putting one finger of the glove to his forehead, and
striking a thoughtful attitude.

“Ah! I have it,” he cried. ‘‘ Of course, it’s a prehistoric
snore—the Doctor is asleep.”

And, sure enough, that was what the noise was. By listening
outside the curtains of his berth they discovered, without a
doubt, that it proceeded from there. :

“‘ What a frightful row,” cried Dick, indignantly. ‘‘ We can’t
go to sleep with all that noise going on. Let’s wake him up.”

“Oh, no!” cried the Dodo, ‘‘ not for worlds. He is sure to
be very sensitive on the point, and would doubtless resent it
very much.”

‘He ought to be made to sleep in another part of the train,
or in a carriage by himself,” grumbled Dick, scrambling back
to his berth just in time to meet Fidge, who was trying to get
down at the risk of breaking his neck.


We
ARE

&%

‘©¢ oH! LOOK!’ CRIED FIDGE, ‘A SNAKE!’”
148 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



“Oh! Dick!” he cried, pointing to the further corner of
the berth, “Look! Look! A snake!”

“‘ What ?”’ cried Marjorie, from below, with a little scream.

““A snake!” repeated Fidge. ‘‘ Look, look, Dick!” he
cried, pointing.

Dick looked in the direction indicated, and was horrified to
see what he took to be a huge snake, slowly crawling over the
partition which divided their berth from the next.

“Give me something to hit it with, quick!” he shouted,
excitedly. And Marjorie, with another little frightened scream,
handed him the Prehistoric Doctor’s umbrella, which was lying
on the floor outside her berth.

Dick seized the umbrella, and, grasping it with both hands,
aimed a mighty blow at what he took to be the snake.

An agonized scream from the next berth, and a hasty with-
drawal of the snake, was followed by the appearance of the
Palzotherium’s head over the top of the partition.

‘Who did that ?”” he demanded, with tears in his eyes.

“Tt was a snake!” cried Dick, excitedly, ‘“‘ and I was trying
to kill it.” ;

“« Snake, indeed!” said the Paleotherium, wrathfully. “It
was my tail.”

“Oh! I’m so sorry,” exclaimed Dick, “I really thought it
was a snake, you know. I beg your pardon. I do hope I
haven’t hurt you very much.”

‘“H’m! Well, I can’t say that it was very pleasant,” said
the Palzotherium, ‘‘ but if you are really sorry I’ll forgive you—

only you mustn’t let it happen again.”
A Night in the Train. 149



“ Shouldn’t have a tail like a snake,” said Fidge, half crying,
‘and shouldn’t let it come over in our bed.”

The Paleotherium muttered something that neither of the
children could understand, and retired, and, except for the
Prehistoric Doctor’s snoring, all was quiet again.

This time the children really did get to sleep, and when they
awoke the carriage was quite light, and Dick, looking out
through the little window at the side of his berth, could see
that they were travelling through some very delightful country.

“Wake up! Wake up, Marjorie,” he cried, “ it’s morning.”

‘I’m velly hungry,” announced Fidge, sitting up and rubbing
his eyes sleepily.

“Yes, soam I,” admitted Dick; ‘“‘ we must see what we can

do to get some food.”

‘The doors at the ends of the carriage are open,” cried
Marjorie, from below. ‘‘I believe it’s a corridor train, like
that we went to Scarborough in last year,” she added. “ Per-

haps there’s a dining car at the end of this one.”

Dick and Fidge scrambled down, and, accompanied by
Marjorie, determined to explore.

None of the other creatures were apparently awake, and
most of the curtains were drawn. The Dodo, however,
true to his word, had left his open, and there he lay in
an affected attitude, with his gloves carefully displayed out-
side the bedclothes, and his nightcap arranged at the most
becoming angle.

Dick could see that he was not really asleep, for one eye
was partially open, and as the children passed he murmured,
150 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



quite loudly enough for Dick to hear— Ain’t I beautiful ?”
Dick laughed, and passed on to where he could see some
wash-basins and a water tap, and there the children had

A ; G, SOL
Liye ZL

=



































THE GREEDY ETERZDARIUM.

a most refreshing wash; and then, to their great delight,
found that the next carriage was labelled —‘‘ BREAKFAST CAR”;
and as it was the easiest matter in the world to step from one
carriage to the other, they were soon at the door.
A Night in the Train. I51



As soon as they opened it they beheld a curious sight.

There were a number of little tables in the carriage, on
each of which were basins of steaming hot bread-and-milk.

The Eteredarium stood at one of the tables, and, with a
spoon in each hand, was greedily devouring the bread-and-milk
as quickly as he possibly could.

“Come on!” he shouted, with his mouth full. ‘ Just in
time. There are one or two basins left; but make haste,

before the others come, or you won’t get any.”










CHAPTER XIX.

At Be Crystal Palace.




MU HE bread-and-milk was very good, and the children
A enjoyed it immensely.

They would have taken a second basinful had the
Etereedarium been at all pressing in his invitation for them to
do so; but instead of asking them in the usual way, “ Will you
have any more?” he said, in a very anxious tone of voice,
“You won’t have any more, will you?” which was, of course,
a very different thing; and so they each meekly said, ‘‘ No, thank
you,” and watched the Etereedarium finish up the remaining
basins.

“There now, I feel that I’ve done my duty,” he said, with a
sigh of satisfaction, as he wiped his lips with a serviette, after
scraping out the very last spoonful.

“You see,” he said, with a sort of half attempt at an apology,
““T was afraid the poor, dear Dodo, in his delicate state of
At the Crystal Palace. 153
health, might come in to breakfast and eat more than was
good for him; so, by eating the lot myself, I have prevented
him from doing that. He ought to be very grateful to me,
I’m sure.” :

‘* But what about the others?” asked Dick.

“‘Oh, great, strong, healthy animals like them, it will do
them good to go without for once in a way. I think, though,
that in order to prevent them from feeling any disappointment
it will be better to throw the basins out of the window, the
sight of them would probably be rather tantalizing.” And the
Etereedarium began hurriedly to throw all the breakfast things
out of the window—spoons, basins, tablecloths, and serviettes,
all disappeared, and only the three basins which the children
had been using remained.

They, doubtless, would have followed the others had not the
Dodo, leaning heavily on the Prehistoric Doctor’s arm, entered
the breakfast car just at that moment.

“Ah! bread-and-milk—capital !”’ exclaimed the Doctor,
rubbing his hands, and looking at the children’s basins. ‘I
think our patient could manage a small basinful, eh ? ”

The Dodo, with a great affectation of weakness, feebly
nodded his head.

“T think I could manage a small basinful, Doctor—er—er—
not too small, you know. A very small quantity never agrees
- with me.”

“No, no; of course not,’’ said the Doctor, soothingly. ‘I
will see that it is not too small; and perhaps, just to encourage

you, I will have a basinful myself.”
154 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



“Tt’s all gone!” said the Eteredarium, suddenly and
emphatically.

““Gone!”’ screamed the Dodo, in a loud voice, quite forget-
ting his supposed weakness. ‘‘Do you mean to say there is
none left?”

The Eterzedarium shook his head.

** But where’s it all gone to?”’. asked the Doctor.

The Eterzedarium solemnly pointed to the children.

“ Pigs!” declared the Dodo, wrathfully.

“‘ Here, who are you calling pigs?’ demanded Dick, getting
up angrily.

“ Well, I must say that it was exceedingly greedy of you to
devour all of the breakfast,” said the Doctor, reprovingly.

* But we didn’t,” said Dick. ‘‘It was the Etereedarium ; he
had ever so many basinsful. We only had one each, didn’t we,
Marjorie?”

“No,” said Marjorie; ‘‘and mine was a very small one.”

‘““And mine was the littlest of all,” said Fidge, flourishing
his spoon, “like the littlest bear’s, you know, in the story of
the Three Bears.”

‘““Well, where are the other basins, then, if you say the
Etereedarium had such a lot ?’”’ demanded the Dodo.

‘** He threw them out of the window,” declared the children.

“Oh! Oh! Well, I never—whatever will they say next?”
cried the Eteredarium, throwing up his hands and turning his
eyes up to the ceiling.

‘“‘T must say it doesn’t seem a very probable story,” said the

Doctor, looking out of the window ; ‘‘ and as I don’t see any of
At the Crystal Palace. 155



the basins lying about I am afraid I cannot believe your
statement.”’

“ But that was some time ago,” argued Dick, “‘and as we
are travelling very rapidly they must be some miles down the
line by this time.”






CZ i°“wvs ee
eae peat Rae GATSASSS : |
nes | 2 ae Te
FP, cD TN

. ZU









THE ARRIVAL AT THE CRYSTAL PALACE.

“ Rubbish!” exclaimed the Dodo, ‘‘ you are only making
matters worse by your lame excuses. I always had my
suspicions that you were a greedy lot, like all the rest of the
human creatures.”
156 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



“Ahem!” coughed the Doctor, looking pained.

“Oh, you're prehistoric—that doesn’t count,” said the Dodo,
and the Doctor brightened up again.

Fortunately, at this moment, something occurred to prevent
.the argument from continuing, or goodness knows where it
might have led to, for the children were naturally indignant at
being so greatly misjudged. -Dick was particularly wroth.
Their attention was diverted, however, by the train dashing
into a station, and coming to a somewhat abrupt stop, causing
the passengers to pitch forward, while a porter called in a loud
voice, ‘Crystal Palace! Crystal Palace! All change here!”

‘“Oh! here we are, at last,” cried the children, hurrying on
to the platform where the animals were all turning out.

The porter had given one horrified glance at the strange
creatures, and then, with a howl of fear, had fled up the steps
at the end of the platform. The children could see that he
was explaining something or other to the ticket collector, for
that worthy came to the barrier and peeped over.

““Oh—o—o—a—aah! ” the children heard him cry, and then
he fled, as his companion had done, leaving the barrier free.

“Come,” laughed Dick, “‘ that simplifies matters consider-
ably, for we shall not have to bother about our tickets now.”
And the children hurried up the stairs, while the Dodo remained
behind to adjust his gloves, complaining loudly that notice
ought to have been given that they were nearing the station, so
that he might have made himself presentable before alighting.

On turning back, while on the steps, the children could see
that, besides their own party, the train had contained a number
At the Crystal Palace. 157



of other strange animals, some of whom, the Archzopteryx
whispered, impressively, were “‘ antediluvians.”

The whole party having alighted, with a great deal of noise
and confusion, they proceeded at once to the Palace. Every-
where their ap-
pearance was
the signal for a
wild stampede
ofother visitors,
and by the
time they had
reached the
great hall no

one at all was



in sight, except



one old gentle-
man in glasses,
who was con-
sulting a guide
book while he

stood before a



group of wooden
“ ¢sH’sH! A MISSIONARY,’ WHISPERED THE DODO,
Hottentots. =
. EXCITEDLY.
“*Sh!” whis-

pered the Dodo, ‘‘a Missionary! I have seen them before, |
when abroad. In some places they are greatly admired
by the natives, some ‘of whom have described them

enthusiastically as being simply delicious! Let us be
158 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



friendly to him; he is, no doubt, a very excellent man.

“‘My dear Sir,” he continued, waddling up to the Missionary,
“‘delighted to see you looking so well.”

The Missionary, who was very short-sighted, beamed kindly,
and grasped the Dodo’s glove, while he peered up into his face
through his glasses. On catching sight of his beak, however,
he gave a gasp of astonishment,. and stammered—



“THE DODO WAS A MUFF AT ROWING.”

“I’m afraid, Sir, you’ve made a mistake. I—er—I—er—
don’t remember your face.”

“Oh, well, it is some time since we met, certainly ; but
perhaps you know my friend?” said the Dodo, introducing the
Etereedarium, who came forward with an engaging grin.

The poor Missionary gave him a hasty glance through his
glasses, and then, nervously clutching his guide book and
At the Crystal Palace. 159



umbrella, muttered something about “‘an important engage-
ment,” and fled in the direction of the big clock.

‘Strange how nervous everybody is in my presence,” mur-
mured the Dodo, conceitedly. ‘‘ It’s doubtless my beauty and
brilliant wit which alarms them; but, come on, let’s go out to
the lake, and I’ll take you for a row.”

So, having met with the Paleotherium, they all three got
into a boat.

The Dodo was a muff at rowing, though, and kept “ catching
a crab,” which disaster he accounted for by declaring that the
fishes would keep holding on to his oar when he dipped it into
the water; but the Paleotherium, who was in the bow of the
boat, and consequently got all of the splashes and knocks with
the oar, declared that this was all nonsense, and I am inclined

to agree with him.




CHAPTER XX,

A Bdifficulty with tbe Roundabout.

JHILE the Dodo and his friends were enjoying them-

selves on the lake, the children and the others were



wandering about the grounds, and continually dis-
covering fresh attractions. What puzzled them not a little,
however, was the fact that there seemed to be no other visitors
"about, and even the attendants had disappeared in a most
mysterious manner.

At the roundabout the steam was up, but there was apparently
nobody in charge.

“What a pity,” said Dick, “I should have liked very much
to have gone around on the horses, wouldn’t you, Marjorie ?”

“‘T should,” chimed in Fidge.

“Yes, it would have been rather jolly,” said Marjorie.
“Don’t you think perhaps the Prehistoric Doctor could manage
to set it going? Let's ask him.”
A Difficulty with the Roundabout. 161



“Well, my dear,” said the Doctor, when consulted on the
subject, ‘I don’t know much about machinery, but I’ll try, if
you like.”

“‘What’s that ?”” enquired the Dodo, just then coming up,
he having failed to get on with the rowing to his own or any-
body else’s satisfaction.

“Why, we are just discussing the question of setting this
roundabout going,” explained the Doctor.

‘Pooh! the easiest thing in the world,’ said the Dodo.
“You just get on, and I'll soon start you off.”

‘All right,” cried the Doctor, getting astride one of the
horses.

“ Hold on!” cried the Palzotherium; ‘“‘let us get on, too.”
And he and several of the others clambered up to their places.

“T think,” whispered Marjorie, nervously, ‘‘that we had
better wait and see how they get on, before trying ourselves.”

“‘ That’s just like a girl,” cried Dick—“‘ afraid of everything.”

“I’m not,” replied Marjorie, indignantly ; “I’m quite ready
to go on, if you want to—only I thought ——”’

‘** All aboard!” interrupted the Dodo, pulling the lever.

“Stop! Stop!” shouted Dick; “we want to get on.”

“Too late!’ cried the Dodo. ‘‘ You shall go on the next
journey.” And with a shriek from the steam-whistle the horses
began to go around.

“There you are, you see,” said the Dodo, complacently
regarding the result of his efforts. ‘I said it was an easy
matter to set them going.”

Faster and faster grew the pace, till the Doctor, who at first

L
162 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



seemed to be enjoying his ride immensely, suddenly threw his
arms around his horse’s neck, and gasped out, breathlessly—

“Oh! Oh! Stop them! They’re running away!”

“Pooh! Nonsense!” cried the Dodo; ‘don’t be a baby.”

“Stop them! Stop them! Help! Help!” screamed the
other poor creatures, as the horses whirled around faster and
faster.

The Dodo went to the engine and tried to push the lever
back again, but, to his great consternation, he found that he
could not do so, and the only result of pulling another lever
which he discovered was to make the machinery work more
rapidly than before.

“Gracious!” cried Marjorie, wringing her hands, ‘ what-
ever is to be done?”’ While even Dick turned a little pale, for
"the poor creatures were by this time whirling around so quickly
that one could scarcely be distinguished from the other.

Every now and then the poor Paleotherium might be heard
screaming above the others, who were all calling out in their
fright and alarm.

The Dodo left the engine, and came and stared at them.

““H’m!” he ejaculated. ‘J don’t know what’s to be done.
If they don’t stop soon, I suppose we shall have to shoot them.
It’s the only thing I can think of.”

‘Shoot them!” exclaimed Dick, in a horrified voice.

“ Well, what else is to be done, I should like to know? We
can’t leave them here whirling around like that for ever.”

“T should think,” suggested Dick, after vainly trying to
push the lever back into its place himself, “that if we raked
A Difficulty with the Roundabout.

163



all the fuel out of the engine, it would probably stop of its

own accord.”

“Ah! happy thought,” said the Dodo, and with all pos-
sible speed they set to work to carry out Dick’s suggestion.

They were delight-
ed to find that after
a time their project
was successful, and
the machinery gradu-
ally ceased to work,
and at last stopped
altogether.

The poor creatures
looked more dead
than alive as with
pale faces they clung
limply to the upright
supports attached to
each of the horses.

The Doctor, weak
though he was, was
furious.

“Wretched, un-
grateful creature! ”

he cried, getting pain-



““"NOT ANY HIGHER, PLEASE,’ GASPED THE Dopo.”

fully off his horse and going up to the Dodo. “This is how

you reward me for having saved your life.”

*“T couldn’t help it,” whimpered the Dodo. ‘I couldn’t, really.”
164 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



“Bah! I’ve a great mind never to speak to you again,”
said the Doctor, disgustedly.

The other creatures now came up, and began to abuse the
Dodo, too.

Fortunately, just in time to prevent a general squabble, the
Eterezedarium, who had not been one of the number to patronize
the roundabout, returned with the information that there were
some swings a little way off.

Despite their unfortunate experience on the roundabout,
there was a general rush on the part of the creatures for this
new attraction, and the Dodo and the Eterzdarium had hard
work to secure a swing for themselves.

**Shall I give you a push?” asked the Doctor, kindly, though
with a curious gleam in his eye.

‘Yes, please,” said the Dodo, gratefully.

** All right,” said the Doctor. ‘‘ Hold tight!’ And he gave
a mighty shove, sending the swing high above all the others.

“It’s very—very nice,” gasped the Dodo, ‘‘ but don’t push
any higher, please.”

‘Hold tight,” said the Doctor, relentlessly, giving another
shove, harder than before.

“Oh! please—please d—don’t, or we shall be upset,”
implored the Dodo, nervously, as the swing shot up into
the air.

“T’ll teach you to twizzle me on the roundabout,” cried the
Doctor, vindictively. ‘ Will you ever do it again?”

“Oh! no, n—no, never!” promised the Dodo.

“Well, one good one for the last, then,” cried the Doctor,
A Difficulty with the Roundabout. 165



giving a final push, and then leaving the poor Dodo to
his fate.
I don’t think that it could have been a very dreadful one,



however, for a few minutes later he had joined the three chil-
dren and the Paleotherium in a journey on the switchback.
Fidge, who had never been on one before, was delighted with
166 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



the experience, and shouted, “ Hooray! This is jolly!” as the
car dashed down the steep incline.

The poor Paleotherium, however, his nerves evidently greatly
unstrung by his unfortunate experience on the roundabout, was
dreadfully upset and alarmed, and, hiding his eyes, he crouched
at the bottom of the car till it reached the other end, when he



“DOES THIS BELONG TO you?”

at once got out, and no amount of persuasion would induce him
to undertake the return journey.

He had scarcely got out into the grounds again, when he met
the Archzopteryx, who was carrying a strange-looking object,
which he held up for the Palzeotherium’s inspection.
A Difficulty with the Roundabout. 167



“ Your tail, I believe,” he said.

The Palzotherium gave a hasty glance at his back, and then
said, in rather a shamefaced way—

“Thank you! Yes, it is. You see, I have been obliged to
wear a false one for some time; I had no idea, however, that
it had become detached.” And he carefully adjusted it again,
tying it on with a couple of tapes, and artfully concealing the
ends.

“ Our family,” he whispered, ‘‘ have no tails to speak of, and,
as we look rather remarkable without them, most of us wear
artificial ones; but please don’t tell the others, they are sure to
make fun of me, if you do.”

‘All right,” promised the Archzopteryx, kindly; ‘‘I won't,
if you don’t wish me to; but I——”

“ Hist! hist!” interrupted a voice, and the Dodo, with a
very scared face, peeped from behind a tree. ‘‘ Who do you
think is here?” he gasped.

‘‘ Who?” enquired the others, curiously.

“The Little Panjandrum himself,” declared the Dodo. “I
have just caught sight of him up by the Palace, and he looks so
- angry about something.”




CHAPTER XXI.

The Little Danjandeum at Last.

WHE Little Panjandrum!” exclaimed Marjorie, “I
shall be glad to see him at last. What is he like?”

“Oh! don’t bother me about him,” cried the
Dodo, impatiently; “he’s all right as Panjandrums go, I



suppose, but I don’t want to get into his clutches again, I can
tell you.”

““Don’t you, indeed?” remarked a_ voice, sarcastically.
“Well, His Importance is particularly anxious to see you
again, anyhow.”

The Dodo gasped, and the children turning around beheld
the Little Panjandrum’s Ambassador.

“Hullo! you here, too?” he continued, when he recognized
them. “ Well, I must say, you have been long enough bringing
this wretched bird along.”

‘“‘T think you ought to be very grateful to us for having done
The Little Panjandrum at Last. 169



so at all,” said Dick, boldly. ‘ What are you going to do with
him now you have got him?”

“Hm! that remains to be seen,” said the Ambassador,
pursing his lips up tightly, and staring at the Dodo severely.

“Come along,” he continued, catching hold of what would
have been the Dodo’s ear if he had had one, but which was in
reality a sort of woolly fluff growing all over his head.

“Come along,
and see your friend
the Little Panjan-
drum.”

malbeaven couliy:
screamed the
Dodo, “you hurt.”

“Rubbish !” ex-
claimed the Am-
bassador, dragging
him yalone. “ait
doesn't hurt me!”

“Oh! oh! I’ve
dropped one of



‘*COME ALONG,’ SAID THE AMBASSADOR."

my gloves,” cried the Dodo, pathetically.

“Tf you take my advice, you'll throw the other one away,
too,” said the Ambassador; “it will only make the Little
Panjandrum more angry than ever to see them.”

“They make me look so respectable,” whispered the
Dodo.

“Respectable !”’ said the Ambassador, contemptuously ;
170 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



‘nothing would make you respectable—you ridiculous object,
you.”

““T think you are most un—un—ki—ki—kind,” sobbed the
Dodo, ‘‘ you are always pi—pi—pi—pitching into m—me,
and ca—ca—calling me n—n—nasty names. It—it—it’s
too bad.”

“Oh, stop that noise,” said the Ambassador, giving the
Dodo’s wool a twist; ‘‘ I’m ashamed of you. Ah, here comes
His Importance,” he continued, as the sound of a drum was
heard in the distance.

The children, all eagerness to see the Little Panjandrum,
stood in a line by the side of the pathway, while the Ambassa-
dor, keeping a firm hold on the Dodo, remained by their side.

The sound of the drum drew nearer, and the children could
distinguish another sound mingling with it.

The Ambassador smiled blandly, while he kept time with
his foot.

Presently the children caught sight of a curious procession
approaching. The Little Panjandrum, a little fat man in
Oriental costume, was preceded by two attendants—one playing
a kind of drum, and the other a Jew’s harp, while a third
attendant held an enormous umbrella over His Importance’s
head. On the top of the umbrella were a number of curious
signs, of which the children could not possibly imagine the
meaning.

“* Obbly—bobblee—wallee—bobbel—ob,”’ said the Ambassa-
dor, bowing three times, and dragging the Dodo’s head down

with him each time.
The Little Panjandrum at Last. 171



“Flop!” replied the Little Panjandrum, and the two
musicians fell on their faces.

““ Um—sopelee—gumbos—galapaloo—glab,” remarked the
Ambassador.

“ Ploff!” said the Little Panjandrum, and the black slave at
the back jigged the State Umbrella up and down several times
very violently.



THE PANJANDRUM AND SUITE PASSED ALONG.

‘‘ What a funny language,” whispered Marjorie. ‘I wonder
what they are talking about ?”

“‘ Semlifee—dobbel—bingle —bingle—boff,” cried the Am-
bassador, lifting up one leg, while the Dodo painfully followed
his example. ;
The little Panjandrum gravely kicked the two musicians,

who were still prostrate on the ground before him, and they
172 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



immediately arose and stood on one leg each, like the Ambassa-
dor. Then His Importance himself balanced himself in the
same way. The black slave at the back, whose legs were
attached to those of the Little Panjandrum, imitated him.

The children were highly interested in this proceeding, when
the Ambassador, without speaking, motioned them to stand on
one leg each, too.

“Come on, let’s do it,” said Dick, ‘‘and see what they are
going to do.”

So the three children solemnly hopped upon one foot, too.

For a moment or two no one spoke. And at last the Dodo,
gasping out, “‘Oh! I can’t keep it up any longer,” fell to the
ground, and everybody else put their leg down again.

““Ough!”’ said the Ambassador, in a disgusted voice. ‘ Of
course, you must needs spoil it all. Most disrespectful behaviour
to the Little Panjandrum, I call it.”

“*T couldn’t help it,” gasped the Dodo, apologetically.

**Oh, of course not,’ said the Ambassador. ‘A bad excuse
is better than none.”

“Well, I couldn’t have kept it up much longer,” declared
Marjorie ; “‘could you, Dick ?”’

“No,” said Dick; ‘‘I can’t think what we are doing it
at all for.”

“Court etiquette demands it,” said the Ambassador, impor-
tantly. “ Hush! His Importance is about to speak.”

*‘ Gobloblee! grabluff!’’ said the Little Panjandrum.

‘““Go on, Dodo,” said the Ambassador. ‘‘ Gobloblee, grabluff,
at once, when His Importance tells you.”
The Little Panjandrum at Last. 173



The Dodo gave a sigh, and went up to the Little Panjan-
drum’s Umbrella and gave it a twirl. When it stopped, a little

”

finger at the top pointed to the word “ Guilty,” which was
painted in large letters in one section of the Umbrella.

‘“‘ Again,” said the Ambassador.

The Dodo, looking very dejected, gave the Umbrella another
twirl. This time it stopped at the words ‘‘ Hard labour.”

The Dodo groaned. :

‘“Once more!” shouted the Ambassador.

For the third time the unlucky bird spun the Umbrella
round, and this time it stopped at “ Fine.”

‘‘How much, your Importance?” asked the Ambassador of
the Little Panjandrum.

“ Cablofechee !”” was the reply.

“Your gloves are forfeited,” declared the Ambassador.

The Dodo gave a despairing glance at the children, and
began to remove his one glove.

«‘What’s he being tried for ?’’ asked Dick, in a whisper.

“Contempt of Panjandrumosity,” said the Ambassador.
“It’s a dreadful offence. All trials are conducted by means of
the State Umbrella; it saves all the bother of judges and
juries, you know. But, look out! the Little Panjandrum is off
again.”

“* Dumflopety—golopegee—gal—popo—sum—delopotomex,””
remarked the Little Panjandrum, as he walked away, escorted
by his retinue.

“He says that your ‘hard labour’ sentence is, to carry the

State Umbrella in future, and that you are to commence your
174 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



duties in one hour from now; in the meantime you may
consider yourself at liberty till then.”

The Ambassador followed after the Little Panjandrum, and
the children gathered around the poor Dodo, full of sympathy
for his misfortunes.

“Have they gone?” whispered the Prehistoric Doctor,
coming forward from
behind a bush, behind
which he had been
hiding.

““Yes,’’said Marjorie.
“Isn’t it a shame the
poor Dodo should al-
ways be getting into
hot water?”

** Never mind,”’ said
the Doctor; “I’ve
found something that
will make him happy.
Look here!”

The Dodo raised

himself up from the «+g IT, DODO!' CRIED THE PALZZOTHERIUM.”



ground, and gave an
enquiring glance at the Doctor, who held out a pair of boxing-
gloves.

“Oh! what beauties!” said the Dodo. “How fat they
are! Are they for me?”

“Yes, if you would like them,” said the Doctor. ‘I
The Little Panjandrum at Last. 175



have a pair, too. Let’s try a round together—shall we?”

“All right!” shouted the Dodo, getting up excitedly, and
hastily fastening on the gloves. “Now then—guard!” And
he went for the Doctor furiously. The Doctor squared up, and
was soon boxing as skilfully as the Dodo.

The Palzotherium and the Eteredarium, hearing the noise,
came forward and joined the crowd of creatures, which by this
time had collected in a ring. And amid shouts of “Go it,
Dodo!” “Three cheers for the Dodo!” the first round con-
cluded, the ungainly bird winning a decided victory. They
were just about to begin again, when they heard a succession
of piercing screams from the direction in which the lake was
situated.




CHAPTER XXII.

Turned to Stone.

OOD gracious! what’s that?” enquired the Dodo,




as the screams continued.

‘“‘ We'd better go and see,” said Dick, practically
running off in the direction of the lake, followed by the others.

On passing? the clump of trees and evergreens, which ob-
structed their view, they discovered the Little Panjandrum, in a
great state of agitation, hiding behind the official Umbrella, his
body-attendant lying prone on the ground ina state of abject
fear; while the rest of the suite, having cast aside their musical
instruments, were rushing away, shouting lustily.

On the opposite side of the path stood a few of the pre-
historic creatures which accompanied the children on their
excursion to the Crystal Palace.

They were looking at the Little Panjandrum with a mild
Turned to Stone. 177



surprise, and seemed quite at a loss to know what all the

hullabaloo was about.
*‘ Gulla — hubly — olla — bolee!”’ shouted the Little Pan-

jandrum, pointing to the animals with his umbrella.



THE LITTLE PANJANDRUM AND
SUITE ARE ALARMED.

“Oh, they’re all right, your Importance,” said the Dodo;

“they are friends of mine.”
‘Friends, indeed!” exclaimed the Ambassador, coming

M
178 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



from where he had been hiding behind a tree. ‘“ Pretty friends!
What do you call the creatures ?”’

“Oh, there’s the Archzopteryx, you know, and the Eterz-
darium, and the Paleo ——”

“Stop! stop!” interrupted the Ambassador, as each of the
animals mentioned bowed gravely. ‘I absolutely decline to
know creatures with names like-those. I’m sure they are not
respectable, and I’m not at all sure, even now, that they are
not dangerous; however, I shall know how to deal with them
presently. The penalty for alarming the Little Panjandrum is
a very severe one.” And he frowned very sternly at the
creatures, who looked rather uncomfortable, and waddled off
in the direction of the lake, whispering together in a decidedly
scared way.

“You didn’t tell me you had all these hideous objects with
you,” continued the Ambassador, addressing the Dodo.

““T thought you knew,” stammered the unlucky bird; ‘ they

”

are prehistoric, you know,” he added, apologetically.

““ That only makes it worse,’ declared the Ambassador. ‘In
that case they ought to be dead, every one of them, ever so
long ago. They have no right to be prowling about at a highly-
respectable place like the Crystal Palace. No wonder there’s
nobody about; they’ve frightened them away, that’s what
itis. And you’re to blame as much as anybody for bringing
them here.”

“I didn’t!” gasped the Dodo.

“You did,” said the Ambassador, emphatically. ‘‘ You said

they were your friends; so they must have come with you.
Turned to Stone. 179



And I'll tell you what; in order to prevent you from picking up
any more undesirable acquaintances, you shall just commence
your duties as Umbrella Bearer at once,” and, untying the
ribbons by which the Little Panjandrum’s attendant was



THERE WAS SOME CONSOLATION, HE WAS ALLOWED
TO WEAR HIS GLOVES.

attached to His Importance, the Ambassador, bringing forth
a heavy pair of chains from his Capacious pockets, pro-
ceeded to chain the Dodo up to the Little Panjandrum’s
waistband.
180 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



The poor Dodo looked the picture of misery as the Umbrella
was put into his hand.

“ M—may I have m—my gloves?” he whimpered.

The Ambassador, after considering a minute, gave his con-
sent, on the score that it might improve his appearance, and
caused the black attendant to hunt for the missing one, which
had been thrown down on the ‘ground near to the roundabout.

He soon returned with it, and the Dodo, with a delighted
chuckle, put the pair on, and, after smoothing them carefully,
regarded his hands very complacently, and seemed to consider
having them some compensation for the degraded occupation
to which he had been put.

“ T’ll go now and settle the others,” declared the Ambassador.
“What did you say their names were ?”” he enquired, sternly,
of the Dodo.

The poor bird called out the names one by one, and the
Ambassador carefully entered them in his pocket-book, and
then stalked majestically away in the direction of the lake,
while the Little Panjandrum settled himself on a gaudily-
coloured rug, which the black attendant carefully spread on the
ground at his feet, and with a self-satisfied smile on his little
round face gravely twiddled his thumbs and took no notice of
anybody.

“Go and see what he does to them,” whispered the Dodo,
referring to the Ambassador and the creatures.

Nothing loth, the children ran off to the lake to see what
was happening. Pushing aside the bushes, they could see the
Ambassador standing on the edge of the path, waving a wand










‘*IN THE NAME OF THE PANJANDRUM, I COMMAND YOU.”
182 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



in one hand, while in the other he flourished a legal-looking
document.

The prehistoric creatures were scrambling through the water,
and getting as far away as possible onto the islands in the
middle of the lake.

“All you Paleotheriums, Etereedariums, Archzopteryx,
Megatheriums, Pleisiosauruses, Ichthyosauruses, and other pre-
historic wretches, in the name of the Panjandrum, I command
you—be turned into stone.”

When the Ambassador uttered these terrible words a most
singular thing happened. In whatever attitude the creatures
were they remained so; and gradually each assumed a stony
and lifeless expression, and the spell or incantation which the
Ambassador had pronounced had evidently taken effect.

The children were very much alarmed, and ran back to the
Dodo, and in a hurried whisper informed him of what had
occurred.

“Turned all the prehistoric animals into stone, has he?”
said the bird, gleefully; “then I can see a splendid way out of
my troubles. Wait till the Ambassador returns, and you will
see some capital fun.” And the Dodo struck a rigid attitude,
and remained in that position, totally disregarding the questions
with which the children plied him.






CHAPTER XXIII.

The Boro’s Bittle Ruse.




mW HE State Umbrella, which the Dodo had been carrying,
Mm fell to the ground with a crash, and so startled the
Little Panjandrum that he jumped to his feet and
nervously tried to run away. The chains, however, by which
the Dodo was attached to his girdle, prevented him from
doing so.

The bird, with his beak in the air, and his gloves extended in
a most grotesque attitude, was immovable and rigid as stone.
Not a muscle moved, and the Little Panjandrum, after staring
at him a moment, called out, angrily—

** Olla—balloo—calle—gablob ? ”

There was not the slightest movement on the part of the
bird, and just then the Ambassador returned.

‘Hullo! What’s the trouble?” he cried, staring at the
Dodo. 7
184. The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



‘* Gablobbee—balloo—olla—wobble!” said the Little Pan-
jandrum, excitedly.

“What!” exclaimed the Ambassador, “something gone
wrong with the Dodo? Here, what’s the matter with you?”
he continued, giving the bird a shake.

The Dodo didn’t budge an inch, but continued in the same
position, his
eyes fixed in a
stony stare.

“T can’t think
what's wrong
with him,” de-
clared the Am-
bassador, with
a puzzled ex-
pression on his
face.

“Perhaps

he’s turned into



stone, like the

others,” sugges-

THE DODO WAS RIGID, MOTIONLESS,

ted Dick, mis-
chievously.

“Ah!” said the Ambassador, clapping his hand to his
forehead in a dramatic manner; ‘‘thai’s what it is, depend
upon it. Good gracious! fow unfortunate. Let’s see, what
did I say when pronouncing the spell?”

‘‘ Why, after mentioning most of the creatures’ names, you
— I



—

The Dodo’s Little Ruse. 185



said, ‘and all other prehistoric wretches.’ I remember quite
well,” said Marjorie, ‘because I thought at the time it was
rather rude of you to call them wretches.”

“Fim! Then he must have been a prehistoric wretch,”
said the Ambassador, absently. “Dear me! I always knew
he was extinct, but I had no idea he was antediluvian as well.
That accounts for a lot of things. No wonder he was eccentric.”
And he gazed at the Dodo quite sorrowfully.

“Well, well,” he resumed, “it can’t be helped now. We
must make the best of a bad matter; all the talking in the
world won’t restore him to life again.” And he turned to the
Little Panjandrum and entered into a lengthy conversation
with him in their native language, which the children could not
understand in the least.

The Little Panjandrum seemed greatly distressed at the
disaster which had befallen the Dodo, and, it appeared, insisted
upon a monument being erected to his memory. Thereupon
the Ambassador, by a brilliant inspiration, thought of the novel
plan of making the bird act as his own statue.

“As he is turned into stone,” said he, “we have only to
find a pedestal to put him on, and there we are.”

A little way off, a stone Cupid, rather the worse for wear,
stood beside the pathway, and this, the Ambassador decided,
should be removed to make way for the Dodo.

The united efforts of the Little Panjandrum’s suite (who
had by this time returned, having been assured that the
creatures which had so alarmed them had been rendered harm-
less) soon succeeded in overthrowing Cupid from his pedestal,
186 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



and after a great deal of pulling, pushing, and straining, the
Dodo, still posing in his grotesque attitude, was stuck up in
his place.

‘‘There must be an inscription,” said the Ambassador, and,
rummaging
about in his
pockets, he
brought forth
a piece of
black crayon.
“THE Dopo,
NOW FORTU-
NATELY EX-
TINCT,’ he
wrote in large
letters, -and
then stood
back to ad-
mire the
effect.

The Little

Panjandrum



beamed ap- THE DODO’S MONUMENT.
proval, and

calling together his suite, the Black Attendant once more
raised the State Umbrella over His Importance’s head, and |
the tom-tom and Jew’s harp began their strange music, while
the Ambassador took a hurried leave of the children, and the
cortége passed out of sight.
The Dodo’s Little Ruse. 187



Fainter and fainter grew the sound of the instruments, and the
children, somewhat alarmed at being left all alone, were half
undecided whether to follow or not, when their attention was
called to a smothered giggling at the back of them.

Turning around, they beheld the Dodo holding his hands to
his sides, and shaking with suppressed laughter.

“Ho! ho! ho!” he laughed, dancing about on the
pedestal, “haven't I tricked them beautifully ? Turned to
stone! The Dodo, now fortunately extinct! Ha! ha! ha! he!
he! what a lark! They'll find I’m not so extinct as they
think.” And, jumping down, he made a grimace in the
direction in which the Little Panjandrum and suite had
vanished.

“T think I’ve got the best of them dis time,” he continued,
triumphantly.

“But come, let’s get out of this as soon as possible. You
want to get to London, don’t you? Let’s start at once, if not
sooner.”

“But, I say, what are we going to do for money?” said
Dick. ‘One can’t get to London without that, you know.”

“Oh, we'll find a way eee said the Dodo, hopefully.
“Come along.”

So the children all trudged back to the Palace again. Fidge,
who was very glad to see his old friend the Dodo restored to
life again, wouldn’t leave his side, but trotted along with him,
chatting merrily.

“Ah!” said the Dodo, as they went up the steps leading
into the great hall, “there’s my old friend the Missionary ;
188 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



perhaps he will be able to help us out of our difficulty.” And
going up to the gentleman, he gave him a playful pat on the
shoulder, and exclaimed, pleasantly—

‘* Here we are again, you see!”

The Missionary started nervously, and peered at the Dodo
through his glasses.
“* Oh—er—how
do you do?” he
cried, hurriedly,
giving a_ rather
startled glance all
round him. ‘Are
your other friends

with you?”

“Oh, you mean
the Etereedarium,
and the Paleo-
therium. No—
they—er, they’ve

met with a rather



nasty accident.
They’ve been ‘YOU'RE VERY GOOD,’ SAID THE DODO."
turned intostone.”

“Bless me!” exclaimed the Missionary, looking greatly
concerned. ‘You don’t say so! What an extraordinary
thing to happen. I had no idea that there were any petrifying
waters hereabouts.”

“Well, they’re turned to stone, anyhow,” said the Dodo,
The Dodo’s Little Ruse. 189



‘‘down by the lake there. It’s rather awkward for us, you see,
because we can’t stop here for ever by ourselves, and we haven't
any money to get home with.”

““My dear Sir,” said the Missionary, generously taking out
his purse, ‘ can I be of any assistance to you?”

“It’s very kind of you,” said the Dodo.

“Not at all,” cried the Missionary, heartily pressing some
money into the Dodo’s glove, which, of course, immediately fell
off and disconcerted the Missionary very much, while the Dodo
scrambled about and picked up the scattered coins.

The children thought it very kind of the Missionary to lend
them the money, and Dick and Marjorie went up to him and
thanked him very politely; and then, having done this, the
whole party hurried off to the train.




rar

si

ye aR an
ONG St IK AGN



CHAPTER XXTV.

Giret Class fo London.



BIE railway station at the Crystal Palace was soon
reached, and the Dodo went boldly up to the booking



office and demanded some tickets for London.

The Ticket-clerk, who could only see the top of the Dodo’s
head, very naturally mistook him for an old gentleman without
his hat, and enquired, politely, “‘ What class, Sir ? ”

This was a puzzler, and the Dodo went back to Dick and
told him that the gentleman in the office wanted to know what
class they were in.

‘What does he mean?” asked Dick.

‘““ What class you're in at school, I suppose,” said the Dodo,
doubtfully.

“Why, I’m in the fourth form,” said Dick; “ but I don’t
see what he wants to know that for, unless—Oh yes, of course,

I see—he wants to find out how old we are, because up to
First Class to London. 191



twelve years of age you can travel half-price, you know. Let's
see—we only want halves, Marjorie and Fidge and myself;
you'll have to get a whole ticket, I suppose, though I have seen
a notice up at a railway station somewhere, on which it stated,
‘Soldiers and Dogs half-price.’ Perhaps it applies to birds,
too. You had better ask, I think.”

So the Dodo went back to the booking office again and
enquired, “‘ Do birds travel half-price?”

“Birds!” exclaimed the Booking-clerk. ‘“‘ Nonsense! There
is no charge for birds, unless you have a quantity,” he added,
as an afterthought. ‘‘ How many have you?”

‘* Oh, there’s only one,” said the Dodo.

“Take it in the carriage with you, no charge,” said the
Clerk.

“Thanks! It’s awfully kind of you,” said the Dodo. “Tl
take three half-tickets for London, then, please.”

“First class?’ enquired the Clerk.

“No! Fourth form, please,” said the Dodo.

“You mean fourth class, I suppose,” said the Clerk, laughing ;
“but there zs no fourth class, you know. First, second, or
third.”

“Oh! then I’ll have third; I suppose that’s the best?”
cried the Dodo.

“No,” explained the Clerk, “ first class is best.”

“What a funny arrangement,” said the Dodo. ‘I should
have thought the third would have been an improvement on
the first; but, however, let’s have the first class tickets, please.
When does the train start?”
192 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



‘‘ There’s one due in directly,” said the Clerk. ‘“ Down the
steps on the right.”

And the Dodo, collecting his change, and grasping his tickets,
marched off towards the barrier.

The Clerk, whose curiosity was
aroused by the strange questions
which had been addressed to him,
came to the window

to have a_ better sx

view of his interro- BE








gator, and was just a
in time to catch ae
sight of the
Dodo walking
off with the
three chil-
dren.
“Well, I
never!” he
exclaimed,
perfectly as- a
tounded at Jo
this strange .
“YOU CAN’T TAKE ‘THAT’ INTO THE CARRIAGE
sight. ‘And ° WITH you."
he asked if |
birds travelled at half-price, too! Well, I’ve had some odd
customers here at the Crystal Palace, but never a one like that
before.” And he went back to his work in a highly-bewildered

frame of mind.
First Class to London. 193



Meanwhile the Dodo and the children, finding no one at the
barrier to obstruct them, went down to the platform, and a
moment later the train came dashing into the station.

“First class in the middle of the train,” shouted Dick,
grasping Fidge’s hand, and hurrying down the platform.

“Here! where are you going to with that bird?” shouted a
voice behind them, and Dick and the Dodo turned around and
walked slowly back to where the Guard, an elderly and very
important-looking man, stood regarding them sternly.

“Oh, it’s all right; the gentleman upstairs said there was no
charge for birds,” explained the Dodo, importantly, thinking
that the man was enquiring about his ticket.

“H’m! sort of a big parrot, I suppose, Sir?” said the
Guard, addressing Dick, and not taking the slightest notice of
the Dodo’s remark.

“Parrot, indeed!" shouted the bird, indignantly. « Perhaps
you haven’t noticed my gloves and necktie ? ”

The Guard smiled indulgently. “Talks well, Sir,” he said
to Dick, “but you can’t take that into the Carriage with you,
you know. Better put him in the van.”

“How dare you?” said the Dodo. « You'll do nothing of
the sort, I can tell you.” And despite the protests of the
Guard he strutted up the platform and entered a first class
carriage, followed by the children.

There was no further time for argument, as the train was
even now late in starting; so the Guard blew his whistle and
waved his flag, and, after an answering toot from the engine,
they were off.
194 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



They had the carriage all to themselves, and a moment or
two after starting Marjorie discovered that somebody had left

a little illustrated Magazine on one of the seats.















ALL CROWDED AROUND, ANXIOUS TO CATCH A GLIMPSE.

They all crowded round to look at the pictures, and presently
the Dodo exclaimed, excitedly—
“Hullo! Look here! Why, here’s a situation that would

just suit me:—‘ Typewriter wanted; must be quick and
First Class to London. : 195



accurate, and of undoubted respectability. Hours, nine till six.
Liberal salary to suitable person.—Apply to A. B.C., Suffolk
House, Norfolk Street, Strand.’ It’s the very thing! With
the liberal salary, I shall be able to take a house somewhere in
London, and we can all live together, and have the jolliest
larks. We'll keep a horse and trap, you know, and I’ll buy
you each a bicycle, and we'll go to the Pantomime every
evening, and to Madame Tussaud’s, and the Zoo, and the
Tower of London, and Masklyne and Cook’s, and other things
every day—and—and——” he went on, breathlessly.

“But do you know how to do typewriting?”’ asked Dick,
dubiously.

“Well—er, not exactly,” admitted the Dodo; “ but,” he
added, hopefully, ‘I can soon learn, you know; and, besides,
the advertisement fits me exactly. I’m sure I’m quick and
accurate; and as for my respectability, look at my gloves!
I’m sure anyone would engage me directly they saw what a
superior person I was.”

“How much do you think the salary will be?” asked
Marjorie.

“Oh, I don’t know. I suppose they'll be glad to pay me
anything I like to ask,” replied the Dodo, ‘and I shall be sure
to ask enough, you may be certain of that.”

“But how are we to get to Norfolk Street,(Strand 7;
persisted Marjorie. ‘We don’t know where it is.”

“Father said, that if we were ever lost, we were to jump
into a cab, and ask to be driven to wherever we wanted to One
suggested Dick, practically.
196 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



“ Of course,” said the Dodo, “just what I intended doing.”
And then he rattled on about what he should do, and buy,
when he got the situation, till at last the train stopped, and the
Porter shouted out, ‘‘ Victoria!”

They all hurried out,

and, disregarding the curi-






ous glances which their
unusual appearance ex-
cited, made
their way to
the nearest
hansom, and
asked to be
driven toNor-
folk Street.
There was
some little
difficulty at
first, as to
how they
should all
find room in
the cab, but
it was finally decided that the Dodo should sit on
the top, while the three children managed to find room.

‘KEPT THE CABBY HIGHLY AMUSED.”

inside.
The Dodo, from his elevated position, had a capital view
of everything of interest which they passed, and kept the
First Class to London. 197



cabby highly amused by his exceedingly naive remarks
about them all; while, to every exclamation of surprise or
derision, which met them on every side from astounded
street boys, the remarkable bird had something droll and
amusing to say in reply. In fact, the driver declares to
this day, that he never before or since has had so extra-

ordinary a fare.






CHAPTER XXV.

The Bodo oBliges with a Song.

HOLD hard! Stop! Here we are!” cried the Dodo,
f} soon after they had reached Charing Cross.
eabheres AaB CO”

“We haven’t got to Norfolk Street yet,” said the cabby.

““Never mind, there’s A.B.C., and that’s who I want,”
declared the Dodo, scrambling down from the roof. “ You
stay in the cab till I come back,” he called out to the children,
smoothing his gloves and settling his tie as he walked towards
the door.

The children watched him enter, and through the glass door
of the shop—for it was a shop into which he had gone—saw
him engaged in a lengthy conversation with a young lady, who
at first seemed afraid of him; but, some more ladies coming
up, they closed around the bird, and seemed to be highly
amused at something, while the Dodo grew more and more


The Dodo obliges with a Song. 199



excited, waving his pinions about, and stamping his claws
furiously, and finally rushing out of the shop and slamming the
door to violently.

“‘T never heard of such impertinence,” he declared, puffing
and blowing in his excitement, ‘‘ putting up A.B.C., when
they are nothing of the sort. They wanted to tell me that
they have a right to use those letters, because they are the
Aerated Bread Company. What rubbish! They might as
well stick up X. Y. Z. Who’s to know what’s meant ?
Aerated Bread Company, indeed! It might as well have
stood for Antediluvian Bottlewashing Company. Bah! I’ve
no patience with such nonsense.” And in a_highly-ruffled
state of mind he scrambled back to his place on the roof, and
told the cabby to drive on to Norfolk Street.

After a few minutes’ ride they stopped outside a handsome
building, and the Dodo once more alighted, and went up the
steps to where a man in brown livery, with gilt buttons, stood
by the lift.

“Are you A. B. C.?” demanded the Dodo, posing in what
he evidently took to be a dignified attitude.

““N—no—second floor!” gasped the astonished attendant.

“Dear me, what a bother,” said the Dodo. ‘Just go and
tell him I’m here, will you?” he said; ‘‘I’ve come about the
situation, you know.”

“Oh!” said the man, “you'd better go up; there are
several applicants already.”

“Bless me!” cried the Dodo, in alarm. “I'd better hurry
then.”
200 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



“Will you go up in the lift—er—Sir?” asked the attendant.
“What's that ?” demanded the Dodo.

“Oh, get in, and you'll see,” said the man, uncere-

moniously, pushing the bird into the lift, and getting in

after him.

He pulled the
rope, and up they
went, the Dodo
sinking to the
ground with a
ridiculous sprawl
as the lift as-

cended.

geo heles@cha!
Stop!” he scream-
ed, shrilly.

But the lift
went till the
second floor was
reached, when the
attendant opened
the door, and
bundled the bird
out into the pas-
sage.



“OH, GET IN, AND YOU'LL SEE,’ SAID THE MAN.”

““Second door on the left,’ he called out, and, pulling the
string, was soon out of sight again.

“Good gracious!” gasped the bewildered Dodo, “I was
The Dodo obliges with a Song. 201



never so bustled about before in all my life. But now for this
A. B. C., whoever he is. I mustn’t lose the situation if I can
help it.”

The second door on the left was soon found, and the Dodo
knocked with his beak.

A small youth appeared, who at first seemed rather alarmed,
but presently exploded into a half-stifled laugh. ‘‘ My hat!”
he exclaimed. ‘‘Here’s a go! Why, blessed if it ain’t a bird
with gloves on—and a tie—oh! what a lark!”

‘‘No,” said the Dodo, with dignity, “not a lark—your
education must have been sadly neglected, my good boy—
I’m a Dodo, or the Dodo, in fact.”

“Well, I never!” said the boy, “if it isn’t talking!”

“Of course. Why not?” demanded the Dodo.

‘‘Oh! oh! this is too good! What may your business be,
Mr.—er—Dodo?”’

“T’yve come about the situation,” said the bird, smoothing
his gloves consequentially.

The boy exploded into a fit of laughter. “ Oh, come in!”
he cried. ‘‘ This is better than a circus—come in—I’ll tell the
Governor you’re here.” And the Dodo was ushered into a
room where two or three gentlemen were sitting at high
desks.

“‘ Who is it, Perkins?” said one of the gentlemen.

“Someone about the situation, Sir,’ said Perkins, stuffing
his handkerchief into his mouth to prevent himself laughing
aloud.

The gentlemen all turned around and stared at the Dodo.
202 _The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.

‘* Why, it’s a bird!” cried one.

“Of course it is; what else did you expect I was?” said the
Dodo. ‘‘Are you A.B.C.?”

‘““No—no,” stammered the man. ‘I’m the Head Clerk,
though, and—I——”

“‘T’ve no time
to waste with
Head Clerks,”
said the Dodo.
‘Just go and
tell A. B.C.
I’m here, will
you?”

But er——’”

At this mo-
ment an inner
door opened,
and another
gentleman

stepped into



the room.
i or Riera
“ce Whatever DO—O—O NOT—A—FOR R R—GET M—E—E—E!



is all this

noise——’’ he began, when he caught sight of the Dodo.
“Are you A.B.C.?” said the bird, pouncing upon him at once.
‘* Well—really,” said the gentleman, ‘“‘ I——”

‘Don’t beat about the bush. Are you A.B.C., or are you

not ?”’ demanded the Dodo.


The Dodo obliges with a Song. 203



“Yes, Iam, but ——”

“Very well, then, I’ve come to take the situation, and I’ll
just draw my first week’s salary at once, if you please.”

“But,” said the gentleman, with an amused smile, “I
must see some of your work first. Perkins, bring the type-
writer!”

The boy brought the instrument, and placed it on a small |
table.

“Now, then,” said the gentleman, motioning the Dodo
towards it.

“Oh! it’s so long since I played,” said the Dodo, smirking
bashfully, ‘‘I think I have almost forgotten my notes ; how-
ever, I’ll try.” And, throwing his head back, he shrieked out in
a discordant voice—

** Do—o—o not—a—for—r—r—get m—e—e—e !” banging
on the keys at the same time with both pinions.

“Here! Stop! Stop!’ called out the gentleman; ‘ you'll
break it! Thai’s not the way to do typewriting.”

“No?” said the Dodo, innocently. ‘‘I thought it was a
kind of piano. I was singing to you, you know.”

“Oh! were you?” remarked the gentleman. ‘ Well, don’t
do it again, please. I can see you won't do for us as type-
writer,” he added ; “‘ but perhaps I can get you a good situation
at the Zoological Gardens. What do you say to that, eh?”

The Dodo, who during the first part of the speech looked
very crestfallen, brightened up considerably.

“Yes, I should think that would do,” he said; “ I'll just go
and ask the others.”
204 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



‘““ What others ?’’ demanded the gentleman.

And the Dodo explained about Marjorie, and Dick, and
Fidge, who had been waiting in the cab all this time.

The children were at once sent for, and the whole party
were shown into the private room, where Marjorie and
Dick related their marvellous adventures, as well as the con-

tinual interruptions of the Dodo would permit them to do.




CHAPTER XXVI.

The Bodo Departs.

wall seems to me,” said the gentleman, kindly, when
the children had finished the story of their adven-

tures, and had given him their names and addresses,



‘““it seems to me that the first thing to be done is to get some
suitable clothes for you.”

“Oh! we never thought of that,” cried Marjorie, looking
down at her bare feet in dismay. ‘‘ You see, there have been
such a lot of strange things happening lately that we quite
forgot how we all looked. Of course,” she laughed, glancing
at the others, ‘‘we must appear very funny indeed, dressed in
this fashion.”

““Ah! I fancy we can soon put that right,” was the kind
reply. ‘‘I have some boys and girls of my own, you know, and
I think, if I send a note to my wife, she will be able to find

some garments that you can wear for the time being. And
206 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



the next thing is, to let your father and mother know that
you are here. I expect they must be very anxious about you
by this time.”

“Dear me!” exclaimed Dick, looking greatly troubled,

“that’s another thing we never thought of, Marjorie.”



‘“*OH, PAPA! PAPA!’ CRIED MARJORIE.”

“IT want to see my Daddy!” announced Fidge, suddenly
and decidedly.

But on being assured that he should soon do so he sat down
with the others, and looked through the picture books which


The Dodo Departs. 207



Perkins found for them, while the gentleman sent home for the

clothes, and telegraphed to their father.

In the middle of the day some luncheon was brought in for

them from a neighbouring restaurant, and soon afterwards the

clothes arrived.

An Eton suit for Dick, the jacket of which was just a trifle

short; a pretty, simple
dress for Marjorie; and
a sailor suit for Fidge.

When the children
had donned these, after
having had a_ good
wash, they looked as
different as possible;
and when, a little later
on, they were led into
another room with the
mysterious statement,
“ That somebody wan-
ted to see them,” they
were all eagerness to
know who it possibly
could be.



THE DODO WAS MOVED TO TEARS.

As soon as the door opened, however, there could be no

doubt as to who it was, for with a delighted cry of

“Oh, Papa! Papa!”

Marjorie rushed into the arms of

a gentleman standing in the middle of the room, and

seemed half undecided whether to cry or to laugh, while
208 . The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



Fidge and Dick crowded around and joined in the excitement.

The Dodo, who had come into the room at that moment,
thought that he, too, ought to have a share in the welcoming,
and, in grotesque imitation of Marjorie, he tried to jump up
into the gentleman’s arms, crying excitedly, “‘Oh, Papa!
Papa!” just as she had done.

“Good gracious!” exclaimed the children’s father, drawing
back in dismay, and
gazing at the clumsy
bird.» 3! What “on
earth is this?”

And then, when
they tried to explain
—all speaking at
once — they made
such a confusion that

he was glad to put



his hands to his ears,

‘“OVER THE TOPS OF THE HOUSES,”

and to cry out that
they must reserve
the story till they reached home. And after thanking the
gentleman for all his kindness, the children and their father
said good-bye, and went down to the carriage which was
waiting at the door to drive them away.

It had been decided, despite the children’s pleading, that the
Dodo had better not go home with them; and so, with many
promises to write and invite him soon, they took an affectionate
farewell of their old friend; and the last view they had of him,
The Dodo Departs. 209



_ as he stood at the window, meekly flourishing a limp glove,
showed that he was moved to tears at having to part from
them. What happened to him after the children had gone

I have never been able quite to find out.



THE COUNTRYMEN WERE, TO USE THEIR OWN EXPRESSION,

‘“ FLABBERGASTED |!”

It zs said that, later on in the day, a curious-looking bird was
seen by the people in the Strand, clumsily flying away over the
tops of the houses, clutching a roll of papers in one claw. And

O°
210 The Little Panjandrum’s Dodo.



from away down in the country comes a weird story of two
countrymen, walking across a field, being—to use their own
description—“ flabbergasted!” at seeing a great bird flying
over their heads, screaming out a lot of aggravating personal
remarks as he passed, and finally dropping, from the end of one
of his pinions, a soiled white kid glove, the loss of which seemed
to cause him great uneasiness ; but- whether—as I shrewdly
suspect—this was the Dodo, or not, I have never actually
discovered.

The people at Suffolk House, including Perkins, maintain a
most mysterious silence on the subject, and will afford me no
information whatever; and the only consolation which I can
find, in my endeavours to ascertain whether these things really
happened or not, is the fact that, on the island of the lake at
the Crystal Palace, all the curious animals which the Ambassador
is said to have turned into stone, ave really there—you may
see them for yourself—and I hope, when next you go to
Sydenham, you will hunt them up. And if so, you will notice—
what struck me as being a very conclusive proof of the truth
of the narrative—that the Palzotherium’s tail really looks as if
it were broken off, about four or five inches from the end; and
decidedly as though he might have worn a false one while he

‘was alive.

THE END.

Printed by Curtis & Beamisu, Lrp., COVENTRY.



ST peat