Citation
"Bill anʼ me"

Material Information

Title:
"Bill anʼ me" sum ov our adventers in de "Midway Plaisance"
Alternate title:
"Bill and me" some of our adventures in the "Midway Plaisance"
Place of Publication:
[S.l
Publisher:
s.n.]
Publication Date:
Language:
English
Edition:
2nd ed.
Physical Description:
15, [1] p. : ill. ; 8 x 13 cm.

Subjects

Subjects / Keywords:
Children -- Conduct of life -- Juvenile fiction ( lcsh )
Conduct of life -- Juvenile fiction ( lcsh )
Fairs -- Juvenile fiction ( lcsh )
Friendship -- Juvenile fiction ( lcsh )
Sick -- Juvenile fiction ( lcsh )
Books printed as advertisements -- 1893 ( rbgenr )
Bldn -- 1893
Genre:
Advertisements ( lcgft )
non-fiction ( marcgt )
Target Audience:
juvenile ( marctarget )

Notes

General Note:
Cover title.
General Note:
"The manuscript of this interesting little book was found on the Bowery in New York, August 30, 1893. The demand for the first edition of a half million copies was so great the publishers feel disposed to remunerate the genius who wrote it. We therefore offer one hundred dollars in gold to the youngster who can substantiate his claim to its authorship"--P. [1]

Record Information

Source Institution:
University of Florida
Holding Location:
University of Florida
Rights Management:
This item is presumed to be in the public domain. The University of Florida George A. Smathers Libraries respect the intellectual property rights of others and do not claim any copyright interest in this item. Users of this work have responsibility for determining copyright status prior to reusing, publishing or reproducing this item for purposes other than what is allowed by fair use or other copyright exemptions. Any reuse of this item in excess of fair use or other copyright exemptions may require permission of the copyright holder. The Smathers Libraries would like to learn more about this item and invite individuals or organizations to contact The Department of Special and Area Studies Collections (special@uflib.ufl.edu) with any additional information they can provide.
Resource Identifier:
027261135 ( ALEPH )
ALK2290 ( NOTIS )
212381359 ( OCLC )

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Full Text
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SUM OV OUR

LL an ME.”




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IN DE





V4




















PREFACE TO SECOND EDITION.

: VVVV hee

oe The’ manuscript of this interesting littla book wes found on
the Bowary in New York, Auguet 80, 1694, a



The damand for tha first edition of. a half saillion copies A

ae 50 great the publishers foul Cay nse to rarunerata the ;
‘ganius who wrote it, Wea therefore nifar one hundred dolers s
in ‘gold to _tha youngster og pan substantiate als claim ta

e ita authorship, : ‘ CaN
eee y THE PUBLISHERS,










“BILL AN’ ME.”
“r :
loG NNYBODY who went to de World’s Fair won’t forgit itin a hurry.
+. I’m one. Bill Bossit he’s anuder. Bill an’ me went togedder.
Bill’s fader he’s a porter on.one ov de Pulman tranes wot runs to
Chicago, an’ he got Bill an’ mea free pass on*




eI

Ro de rode. I don’t no ware he got itan’Idon’t

-» care. Mebbe de man wasn’t lookin’ wen he
tuk it. But Bill an’ me we got on de trane an tuk a 3
feedin’ bottle wid us full ov rye wiskey. Bill he got @)WN\ yA
de fust drink an’ i had to go thirsty. Dere was anaw- piares Ry A)
ful lot ov fellers wid bottles on de trane, but wun z VS
man in frunt ov us he had a little bottle full ov white
powder an’ he got sum ice water wunce or twice an’ put
some ov the stuff in, an’ it biled up just like a gin-fizz.
He sed it kept hed-ake away. Wen we got ter Chicago
- Bill an’ me had a wash an’ made a bee-line fer de Fair
’ grounds. Sich crowds I never did see. We ast ware de

mostest fun was, an’ one ov dem fellers dey calls Colum-

bus’s Gards he sez, sez he: “‘ Youse fellers want tergotode / / eT

Midway Plaisance over dere!’’? ‘‘Anythink in it?’’ ast it
Bill. “Bet yure sweetlife,’’ sed de Gard, just as nateral as if he warn’t






\



a forriner. Sumboddy sed he warn’t a forriner neether. We went in a
place an’ had sum beer fust, an’ dere was a feller inside wot had just cum

ack from a sale on de laik, an’ he was sikker n’ a dog from C-sikness.
His pal had sum ov de stuff wot * de feller had on de trane, an’ wen
he tuk a dose ov it, the sik chap /f\ kinder braced up, an’ helarfedan’
wanted to set ’em up for de hole house. We let him du it. Wel,



de fust place we went in-
wot dey call “ Old Vien-
an imitation ov de capital
lukked very well, better,
de people wot was lukk’n
whizz! De names ov de
~ an’ nearly all ov de at-
man, but it was an elly-
de prittiest gals I ever
out ov de quante lukkin’
so bad while we was in
ded away. Dey sed ‘it
an’ as soon as she cum
was wid her, she'puld out
sune awl rite agen after.

”



ter on de Midway was
na,’’.an’ dey sed it-was
am ov Ostria in Yurope. It
hs in fact, den menny ov
| atit. Sich crowds! Gee
places broke me all up;
tendants dey spoke jer-
gant show, an’ sum ov
see were goin’ in an’-
bildins. Der crush was
dat a yung lady fainted
was nervus excitement,
two, anuder lady wot
a bottle ov dat same

gin-fizz stuff, an’ mixt up a dose for her frend. We tuk notis dat she was

w



To ennyboddy who thawt that Ireland
was chefely noted fer its pollytishuns.an’ per-
leecemen, ‘de Irish Villige was a revylashun,
an’ 'sum people’ sed it warn’t Irish at awl,
cos dere was never enny fitin’ goin’ on dere.
But dere. was sum swete-lukkin’ ‘‘colleens,”’
dey cawld ’em, makin’ the
butifullest lace an’ linen you
ever did see. An’ den dere

was de Blarney Stone,

~ wot fellers kiss wen

\ dey want ter

lie suksessful-

ly to dere best

gals. Ikissedit. So did Bill. It was de

coldest kiss I-ever had, an’ I woodnt giv

2 sents a duzzen fer’em. Neether wud

Bill. Wun ov de gals wot was makin’ de

lace had de newralagy thet bad she didn’t

“no ware she was, an’ I saw her tek sum ov

that gin-fizz powder, an’ git well quiker
n’er a wink.



s



E ‘Strete ov Kiro,’’ wich dey spell C-A-I-R-O, but I don’t
no wy, was a dandy spot an’ no-diskownt. It is de boss
, sity ov Egypt, an’ was stud on de banks ov de Nile before
dey fetched it here fer fokes ter luk at. Egypshuns
don’t hussle like Yankees dew, an thare idees ain’t
quite so noo. - Neether is thare wimin so fresh as ours,
but dey hav niser
kompleckshuns an’
use more ov it den
- laidies-in dis kun-
try. But sumhow,
bote de Egypshun
men an’ wimin in
_de strete ov. Kiro
hed cort, on ter
Yankey ways wen
: we was dere. Dey
were just as subjec to hed-akes as
Amerikans, only more so, an’ dey all
seamed to hav de same kind ov a
kure—dat little blew bottle ov white
““gin-fizz’”’ powder.





Bill Bossit, he’s half-jerman, an’ de oder half ov him is lodutch. Wen
we got ter de Jerman Villige he saw so menny pritty frauleins he dida’t
wantter cum away. He sed it was just like home to him, but he never was
nearer Jermany den Noo York, only he has a kuzen jerman, an’ once had
sum holland winder shades at his lojins. The Jerman Villige is a picteresk
moddle ov a Tootonik hamlet. We got so tootonik ourselves dat we had
to, take a tonik too. It was age, Lager. Bill he got fullern’ a
gote, an’ was reel sik to his Mies stummik. Hesed he had an
inserreksshun in his inside, an’ <%} re a feller wid a long pipe gev
him a dose ov the fizzin’ stuff St) ‘= out ov his own blew bottle.
He sed it wood settle his stum- BAW ES mik. Wel, it did settle Bill’s
stummik so quick we wisht it Fj wud settle our uther bills ike-
wise. De nawsea left him, ‘ an’ he sed all he
wanted was a gud blow in de open are. I sed,
“Awl rite, cum outside an’ [ll punch yer noz,”’
but Bill he sed that-warn’t de kinder blow he
ment. A little kid wid a hairy dg—
git a ride on de Ferris wheel, ~
wud be de best chantz Bill an’
ov gittin’ neer heven, so we
a peace an sot in de car. Gee
we started movin’ Bill an’ me








m\ cap told us to

iy an’ I thawt it
me’d ever hav
pade fifty sents
whizz! De minit
. waS sorry we



at de top, dat he cud see de hole ov de United
Staits, but I gess he lied. We both got as dizzy
as spinnin’ tops, an’ I felt as if thare was a
three-ring sirkus in myhed. I kep my ise open
as long’s I dared, but we we got nere.de top, an’
it seemed like ridin’ threw nowhare on nothin’,
I jest shet my ise tite, an’ brethed hard. It
warn’t long afore de big wheel got round to de
erth agen an’ we got out, but I staggered like a
bote-horse, an’ jest wanted ter lay down ‘sum-
; == ware an’ let my hed git levil agen. Jest den,

up cums a gud samariten an’? he séz to me, sez he, ‘‘Feel bad?’’ sez
he. ‘‘ Yew bet,” sez I, “I don’t no wether I’m standin’ on my hed or on
my heels.” ‘‘ Wate till I mix. yew a dose,” sez he. So he gits a tumbler
ov water’n a tea spoon, an’ pulls out ov his poket a little blew bottle.
. Out cums de effervessin’ powder. ‘‘Grate Scot!” sez I, ‘‘that stuff ’s
awl over de world, it seams!’ ‘So it orter be,” sez he. Wel, sir, I tuk
de glass in my hand, an’ he put in a heapin’ spoonful ov de stuff an’ it
» sizzled away in grate shape. ‘Drink it orf!’ sez he, an’ I downed it wid
my ise klosed, same’s if ’twar fizzik. Den I likt my lips an’ didn’t wunder

everyboddy used der stuff. It was nice tastin’, but I soon felt its gud



8

.

-hadn’t staid on de erth. Bill sed wen we was

Mi

oom



effeks on my hed. It kleered de kobwebs away in a few minits an’ I felt
as spry asever. But fergot to ask de man wot de stuff was.

Anoder day we went inter de Turkish Quarter ter see de sites. Bill
an’ me had ter larf at de Turks. Dere de lasiest cusses yew ever see, an’
dere cheef bizness is smokin an’ makin’ salams, wich is wot dey call
makin’ a kertsey to: der grownd wid dere long arms.
Awl de wimin has dare faces kuvver’d awl over,exsept
de ise, jest like hosses wot shies to wun side. Sum sez
it is dun to prevent frekkles, an’ sum sez its dun to
prevent dudes mashin’ ‘’em—de wimin, not de frekkles.
De averige Turkeyman is jenerally verry much marrid.
At enny rate he has enuf ov wives tew sho fer it. Dey
call thare rume de ‘‘harem,’’ an’ de wimin we saw
lukt a harum-skarum lot. If awl his wives are al-
owed tew chatter at wunse, I gess de poor Turk
offen nedes sum ov dat hed-ake stuff. Too aver-
ige wimin kan tork a man intew a nerly grave, so

de Lord noze wot ten or a duzzen kin dew wid a Sate
Zi













feller. Stil,sum ov de Turkey wimin was so shape- —g
ly, an’ thare ise shined so britely threw thare “y,
blinkers, dat Bill an’ me we kinder envid dem-“==
Turkeymen.



Den yew shud jest see sum ov dem wimin dance !
Yewd think dey wos maid ov elastik. An’ dey was
de dandiest hie-kikkers yew ever did see! Dey’d |
jest as soon kik a hole inde seelin’ j
or nok de roof outen a fellers’ hat
wid dare tose, as luk at yew. I don’t
think dey hev enny jints at awl, an’
I'll gamble pennies dey never hev
no roomatism. A feller sot besides
mei night, wen dey was tryin’ tew
kik de stuffin’ out ov de atmesfear,
an’ he sed he gessed dem gals was
spry enuf tew no a thing er too.
. “Dey aint takin’ no chantzes wid
der roomatiz,”’ he sed. “T’ll betdem gals take a dose ov
this tew or tree times a day,” an’ he shoed me one ovdem
little blew bottles ov powder. I began tew think that
every modders’ son wot wos at de Fair had cottoned |
ter that remmedi. Der big fellers wot wos runnin’ de
show—mannyjers dey kawl ’em—dey awl carrid dere little
blew bottles an’ yused ter take a‘ fizz” every now an _
agen, but chefely now. Dey sed it yused ter inviggerate tierd branes, an’



To



freshen up dere think tanks wen dey got rusty
and overwirkt, Wun ov de felers toled Bill an’
me dat wen he felt awl tierd out at nites after de
show wos over, he yused ter take a good dose ov
der stuff an’ it wud make him slepe like a hum-
min’ top. Anuder feller sed dat wen he cudn’t
. ete nothin,’ an’ felt as billyus asa biled lobster,
a gud drink ov it wud settle his a
stummikriteaway. Billseditwas 77,
“nerely as gud a settler as de av-
-erige emigrant is in de west, but
Bill he don’t no nothin,’ ’cept how
ter lie.

Wen we , went inter de Moorish Pallas it
was a grate 2 site. ’Twarnt like anythink els in
de Fair, an’ ue" it reminded Bill an’ me ov a buk=y
weuster reed ' kawled de ‘‘ Arabyan Nites.” We
never seed sich splender. The Moors wos awl moored in-~
side der Mosks, an’ der gals wos a heep prittier nor de =
men, as gals awlways is wen yew luk klose. Der moor we —=
‘saw ov.’em de better we liked ’em. (I tride dat joke on
Bill an’ he nerely dide larfin, an’ den he went all ’round:

ir















? & Pe By ges ;

. erakkin’ de same joke an’ makin’ beleeve it was his own.) Yew orter see
dem Moorish madens dans, an’ watch’em make dere skirts fli, It seams
sum of de Lady mannyjers began kikkin’ ’cos dey sed de gals in de Egyp-
shun an’ Indyan, an’ Moorish villiges kikked two much. Idon’tno. I
think 1 has as much rite tew kik as anuder, only dese gals luk .better
‘doin’ it. Bill an’ me didn’t kik agen it,—not much we didn’t.

. The place wot attracted de most
doods an’ oder 3 @ gaom kinds ov men ov
awl nashuns, wos Y Ce FOR de BUT Y show.
It wos like. gettin’ mga sy Ss nere a free Tur-.




key lunsh ter get S| inside thare, an’
the pritty gals wos
ler’s hed rite round
Bill an’ me yused
wink at de wimin in Hai

Zs enuf terturna fel-
ey SY f - on his sholders.
\ eS ter go there an’
: he thare own langwidge.

Thare was gals iS thare from every nashun
under de sun, an’ é Ey on Bill sed he thort sum_ov
dem kem from hev- ne en. Ididn’t think so. Dey
didn’t luk quiet ° eS ae enuf to be anjels. Dey'
seemed ter draw well, but menny ov ’em painted a gud deel better’n dey
cud draw. Dey had a ruddy, helthy glo on thare cheeks that dey-cud put-
off an’ on as dey liked. We never nu wot ajes dey wos and me and Bill

12



oy &

didn’t like to be two inkwisitive. Sum ‘ov ’em
lukt as if dey cud get reel mad widout enny
pertikler trubble. .

Bill an’ me” met sum wimin fokes wot kem
from our place. Dey was in de Midway nite an’
da fer a hole weak, an’ dey seamed ter stand
it.pritty gud. One ov ’em sed she liked it bet-
ter’n'shoppin’, but I didn’t beleeve that. Bill
an’ me ast her if awl de rush an’ noise didn’t
make her nervus. She sed she didn’t kare, as
she’d found sumthin’ thet jest nokt awl de
spots orf ov nervusness enny da, an’ she
opened her satchil an’ shode us thet everlastin’

little blew bottle. Sez I, “If I’ve sene dat stuff -

wunce I’ve sene it fifty times sinse-I cum to de
Fair.”’ ‘Its de best thing out fur to releeve de
hed an’ nerves”’ sezshe. I git the gratest relee



f frum it.”’ ‘I was think-

ing of applyin’ fer releef sune myself,” sez Bill, ‘‘fer I’ve jest changed
my last bill.”?. Wen the wimin herd that dey shuk us, ’cos I think dey

wanted us to sei up de ice-kreme for ’em.

Wen Bill an’ me fust found de beer-tunnel on de Midway we were jest
- tikkled ter deth, an’ we made visits thare twonoomerus ter menshun. We

oh



oe

<
was nevver lonely thare neether.‘ Dere was allwaze sumboddy or odder
droppin in.ter sea about sumthin’. It was a gud place ter studdy jags,
’an the diffrent waze dey affex peeple. Wesaw men.thare wid fitin’ jags,
weepin’ jags, larffn’ jags, mellenkoly jags, an’ quiet “stills.”. That’s:
ene the funnyest kind ov a jag to everyboddy but the
‘“‘jagee.”’ Den dere was sum wid singin’ jags
an’ most were singin’ ‘After de Bawl.” I re-
member de korus was
After de ball is over,
Wen you have drunk enuff,
Just as you feelin klover ~
Then cums the head so tiff, ,
The worst hed you ever felt, sir,
But you won’t have it at awl,
By taking a Bromo-Seltzer
After the Bawl.”
Bill an’ me awlwaze uster kall at the beer-
. _- tunnel last thing at nite. We wos so stuck on
the beer thare that we cud’nt keep away, but mebbe we didn’t have time
ter regret it nex’ mornin’! Yew never saw sich heds in awl yure born
daze. They was like two fresh punkins but they uster feel liké mush. I
don’t no wether yew ever got a hed ov that kind, but if yew did yew no



14



wot it is like. Seem’d ter me’s if I’d been
beeten wid a thik stik, an’ awl I wanted waz
ter laydown an’ dye. Bill he suffered sumthin’
awful. He wud git up inde middle ov de nite
an’ drink awl de water we had ter wash our-
selves wid. Ansichwaterl] Yew had ter klose
yer ise wen yer wanted ter
drink. Yew kin bet thare’s
more in Shikargo water ner
peeplethink. Yes, alot more,
an’ ye don’t like the luks ov
wots init ether. Bill an’ me
f didn’t.

Wel, after Bill an’ me had de big hed fer about 4
daze in konkushun I wos tellin’ a feller wot slept in de
same ranch what an awful bad time we had gettin’ over
de effex ov de nites fun. ‘‘Yurea pare ov fules!”’ sez
he. ‘No nuze in that,’’ sez I, ‘“we wos both borne
so.’’ But yew orter no better,’’ sez he. ‘‘We no that,
sezI, ‘‘but that don’t mend our heds.” ‘‘But wy in
thunder don’t yew take sumthin’ fer it?’’ sez he. ‘‘So
we du,’I anserd, kinderskornful, ‘take awl wekin hold



15



~ EWS vite . woe



“the nite afore. Wot more d’ye: want!?? « Yer dont t ketch .

. on,’ séz. he, an’ he tuk a little blew bottle from his stern fe
poket. “D’ye seethat?”’ sez he. ‘I do;” sez I,‘‘ an? Pve.
“ seen it,’or wun jest like it, wid nerely everyboddy I have.
met at de fare. Wot d’ ye kawl it ennyway?’’ Der feller he ::
luks at me kontemtuos-like an’ he sez, sez he, “That's. ©
Bromo-S£LTZER,’’ sezhe. .‘‘Wel, Grate”. is

Scot!’ sez I, “ everyboddy I’ve sene -yuse
it has spoke wel ov it, but wot gud is it fer
a big hed?” ‘‘Jest yewtryit,’’ sez he, ‘‘an’
yew won’t no wot a big hed is!.” Wel, you
kin bet neether Bill nor me ever. had a sore
hed anuder mawnin’, fer we uster kepe a
” Tittle blew bottle: bi the side ov de bed, an’
wen we felt it cummin’ on we’d mix a dose an’ down it.
Bill, he swares biit.. So do I., An’ I’ve toled-everyboddy
“wot ‘don’t no it alreddy, that dere aint ennything on dis
erth that.kures a hed-ake ov enny kind, or soothes the
‘nervs. quikker’n it: will. Bill an’ me are awlwaze goin’ ter j
keep. a bottle bi. us, ‘cos re never no wen we need it—. j
speshally Bill—even tho’ we aint in #

Dg Mipway PLAISANCE. Bee








COPYRIGHTED 1893.



Full Text


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'2011-12-13T13:22:53-05:00'
describe
'4190768' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEWX' 'sip-files00002.tif'
3191329b8d75bcf91e0da59f24d22e88
66a41c4d7cad8078a79ca017c1c4b887883ad961
'2011-12-13T13:23:04-05:00'
describe
'3665' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEWY' 'sip-files00002thm.jpg'
8776573c30557f07085f9300600e687e
db5d7f48058ae549a7e7d89208718f3ecccc7afe
'2011-12-13T13:23:13-05:00'
describe
'162361' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEWZ' 'sip-files00003.jp2'
7091aa1c5550d0fafeff1e2b663e4aa8
08bfbaaf8b10ec55648eb00f5d6fc4f5cd062152
'2011-12-13T13:23:10-05:00'
describe
'77224' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEXA' 'sip-files00003.jpg'
ad2d2bb07fdf7c3f5b8f4517acba92fb
b05503be0aa981cc098063aba8e96522f2c33196
'2011-12-13T13:23:11-05:00'
describe
'10636' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEXB' 'sip-files00003.pro'
31877d0c7f8a9d620d8e3ffe8839b8dd
ee3fbecc1d5f8c8d235280c0e3e5740e0772435a
'2011-12-13T13:23:02-05:00'
describe
'18458' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEXC' 'sip-files00003.QC.jpg'
34534b85cfa95b69e7b120ff5ebd0207
79c02a0907025cc99152986eb92d396866d32f9e
'2011-12-13T13:23:24-05:00'
describe
'1322840' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEXD' 'sip-files00003.tif'
c3088a46eceb9afbe411baf01881b422
7328fe15129a4100a5e34ecf2d4637303b2300f0
describe
'515' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEXE' 'sip-files00003.txt'
5134209be13a3c2afe811915bde02770
39fbae3dcb1296394e6f249e12617ac0b7d8d280
'2011-12-13T13:23:03-05:00'
describe
'4555' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEXF' 'sip-files00003thm.jpg'
e5f09e135f2b4723d557c76acd6fe1a5
51dd386f2df82e7585666f4c44f6132d71ce8107
'2011-12-13T13:23:06-05:00'
describe
'162608' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEXG' 'sip-files00004.jp2'
721dcec6fa6e295f5608d2a9ce49bae9
efeeb0f1cc4e7c8af30e02e69411f502bf0630b1
'2011-12-13T13:23:28-05:00'
describe
'27407' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEXH' 'sip-files00004.jpg'
64051d837e8866454fa33360bc6b35a2
934727c92c7b10a1a3dc226823ca29c5374af54c
'2011-12-13T13:23:01-05:00'
describe
'5460' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEXI' 'sip-files00004.QC.jpg'
74805708e3155653ad870106ea760c29
e4b632f866a5afab0faf3de4827d95733917890f
'2011-12-13T13:22:58-05:00'
describe
'1318552' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEXJ' 'sip-files00004.tif'
b7f78a55bddef402547a6427ab6dbece
a3a2e6c6a5945e77e1c56566a67c91aa24f96069
'2011-12-13T13:23:15-05:00'
describe
'1361' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEXK' 'sip-files00004thm.jpg'
4331a58c8d034b80b80d0da3f90eb439
10baa54714f5dfa30ea6675688e6f6ab71f06422
'2011-12-13T13:22:50-05:00'
describe
'162598' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEXL' 'sip-files00005.jp2'
1cb213723e36493afa83092a71f363d1
75a88598fee04afbed7140ecf29263fc76abbdbf
'2011-12-13T13:23:00-05:00'
describe
'93766' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEXM' 'sip-files00005.jpg'
91455916ad756c2bcbec7b0ff56f7622
2c07818652f6fd68f518e0c189b69ba6e6a7d25f
'2011-12-13T13:23:25-05:00'
describe
'29309' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEXN' 'sip-files00005.pro'
5526a90d2b68b07590a5e617d50da7f0
27774732ba4c7c27ab57ff339fdbaa5690c51679
describe
'24552' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEXO' 'sip-files00005.QC.jpg'
1c3732782476be2601718cba8a49117d
0f67254a4494d2a09b4d5df2b35001733febfb3d
'2011-12-13T13:23:20-05:00'
describe
'1324736' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEXP' 'sip-files00005.tif'
4fba92da638bddb13bc323855343edd9
25f956f6d11b3e0866534165ed3745564df9e750
describe
'1264' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEXQ' 'sip-files00005.txt'
006d8d1096a2feb9f19d7538912f3456
f23788af92840427b98f432a40bb70268836dce8
'2011-12-13T13:23:07-05:00'
describe
'5578' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEXR' 'sip-files00005thm.jpg'
f2e7c49bb55354b17275accde6defe20
bf6484f90764cad16e63df6119dab9bc9ca71e4f
'2011-12-13T13:23:27-05:00'
describe
'162588' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEXS' 'sip-files00006.jp2'
9379fd79ae17cf0851998e551b7c5bd1
ebcf14e49c54c66ef8d1fde3ff42f6a76079dc71
describe
'97109' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEXT' 'sip-files00006.jpg'
f0aa548be8ba782b1b89d6e7811f29bf
ced8f60ff2eb8729fa7b39a84388957b93dbd9f9
'2011-12-13T13:22:55-05:00'
describe
'33060' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEXU' 'sip-files00006.pro'
ced87f6cfb79c59f7a692e64893ab2b2
865f2d1144f43564f4d0ac61cc1ad324ded60cd3
describe
'24928' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEXV' 'sip-files00006.QC.jpg'
c1410932cda6833294c0a1438ec85186
0b6ccb667a43d9e9913ac3066069083d9d44e9c1
describe
'1325240' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEXW' 'sip-files00006.tif'
c082623e4c351f6b0e4459db96766757
17282299b1352a8d2b863b259e1e692da3666380
describe
'1525' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEXX' 'sip-files00006.txt'
1e27a8a99b4f34228e5ff9966b9b7e10
3e124bbee3fb1c5d8f646c2a5fa3df286500c6bb
describe
'5880' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEXY' 'sip-files00006thm.jpg'
0fc9d8654da7c8cf24e84d056669efaf
41c86306343aff0aa0518f0d0440c21d4202f044
describe
'162530' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEXZ' 'sip-files00007.jp2'
f5a9fb3493da19a76090721457c203d5
21fbdcb0076f14276d4f2faadaf34cb3b8e09014
'2011-12-13T13:23:22-05:00'
describe
'86734' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEYA' 'sip-files00007.jpg'
e0444a89135c13f3e5324d0cc1b1f94b
bbcb1e9a95f829e36f0688d4fd668022a331c135
describe
'21335' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEYB' 'sip-files00007.pro'
261bf95f8614a6b3be8321c35f1a2e15
63b985ce2862df980c750e8ecca348a09d4dac12
describe
'22572' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEYC' 'sip-files00007.QC.jpg'
c761cb0c36c80d9dfe3358049e4bba3e
c4e4aae25ae9bf64df58b546d156b8e71ea9b522
describe
'1324352' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEYD' 'sip-files00007.tif'
1ac1a433e3c75e326a850604ce14f5b8
c50cf64c1b6cefe6c8d9322075146c28b92d9012
'2011-12-13T13:23:14-05:00'
describe
'1258' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEYE' 'sip-files00007.txt'
13fcb1d1edc1f03cd1c0c82969652ff8
61bde66ee1ad906f1a923292e0d987554834f127
describe
'5441' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEYF' 'sip-files00007thm.jpg'
972497b1dd40141a69498e52b59f5d83
fc5a68e243fb40e11e9366faa152e2a2db9098ff
describe
'162578' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEYG' 'sip-files00008.jp2'
be47239fc2cd649284018d1a74c9469f
76fbd0c55ce0922e76b3f012d1c87969ee051eaa
describe
'86217' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEYH' 'sip-files00008.jpg'
7599d0d3b0878245c5772095aa5c280a
f296edadf7e5062f2cf53594579744fa2fc5fb07
describe
'18660' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEYI' 'sip-files00008.pro'
852a4a5bb38695a911f1962d57b7d7e7
e7362663729abb2c9bda70ea183cfce0e4966a2e
describe
'22628' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEYJ' 'sip-files00008.QC.jpg'
92542087efae8d87ba440d43af64822f
5e37e50f9a721d9d8e900d53f09533ed80f87a65
describe
'1324412' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEYK' 'sip-files00008.tif'
af6f98d3464bd5bb4cbf7f13c2e8bf07
395b83a38c069f25a762a981cdba4c8caffb1f36
describe
'1003' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEYL' 'sip-files00008.txt'
4f02226d24b0d17f699719d082db7413
0a72e779876c02cb74392d7c19eee1e07a0a8254
'2011-12-13T13:22:52-05:00'
describe
'5329' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEYM' 'sip-files00008thm.jpg'
20cde605491c981396c1dc0af1f129c4
9fa539382a4821283afba13b72ca23368f858edb
describe
'162601' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEYN' 'sip-files00009.jp2'
92bbf1a49f9ccf11d1240c896fbad102
9f2522c0a54af050ae8cd78473cd4ab589eba0e3
describe
'98343' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEYO' 'sip-files00009.jpg'
78c90af4be34b530d20b61cdd1fbc57f
1fdfd2d266b44073d73a55dff8b419d93f52410a
describe
'33526' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEYP' 'sip-files00009.pro'
e2c176fa0bc79b5d2ceb2f0c30e484c2
9679dedb97290dbd68e320bd331f63248f56165d
describe
'25848' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEYQ' 'sip-files00009.QC.jpg'
1e72e462a96179fd82e133b5ac30857d
b47c4368533eb893dbe4439ada4c20e5c28d0ed1
describe
'1325096' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEYR' 'sip-files00009.tif'
4d03682c056f7b50355405d357d75900
2c835d4b336e941b17348fbdc3ccb3210ab4a3be
describe
'1537' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEYS' 'sip-files00009.txt'
6ede35a4dc4282d53486044a0d48fa00
e78a66067a62d6fba24c7ac2d6ebf399925b3bf2
describe
'5854' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEYT' 'sip-files00009thm.jpg'
45370e1d6fdec37c19dc5f99af472973
5bb8323b9735c645cfda5db51b12f755e7b3408c
describe
'162584' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEYU' 'sip-files00010.jp2'
0d3534ba96d5a693eee31988ecb3a8e1
1ea12c51c8e0b93d42db221314e1a14ffd1658d4
describe
'98711' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEYV' 'sip-files00010.jpg'
a4731dead8c5b27507943b4eb23a9192
ee6b074b6a01a8376a3992e77f28e479cd88a20a
describe
'33650' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEYW' 'sip-files00010.pro'
423f479a95f75b2c7b0806309dba0000
40e15889958a5f7086a251e6f477200e80c134d3
'2011-12-13T13:23:19-05:00'
describe
'25854' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEYX' 'sip-files00010.QC.jpg'
e1e8b9ec8d1b3845f40e9a6fe2770984
42d4d0bd7022bb45d4dd943f4818eef43e6648e3
'2011-12-13T13:23:12-05:00'
describe
'1325116' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEYY' 'sip-files00010.tif'
7ad54ebac958c01e288770ebf76cf149
ec17d2974968aac73d2942270b31faaefb378573
describe
'1623' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEYZ' 'sip-files00010.txt'
4941206b79fd82459aa7a61fec13606d
ec601969c05a9b8c80b65579a397ef7837fb7450
describe
'5718' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEZA' 'sip-files00010thm.jpg'
8ec423ada9744c59670fe9a7e82b91ef
8ca9b05c9f55b6009e4a9902fd96b5401273f9aa
describe
'162589' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEZB' 'sip-files00011.jp2'
5026f28f72343bd6724c43a7e9ce2e2d
22203c5c644236788367202ca83aec163740ecd7
describe
'94831' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEZC' 'sip-files00011.jpg'
94400c8f1b1ab08b86c0a56249ec8394
80da700f8b5404f1288e856f3be7c29b4f8a367d
describe
'30342' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEZD' 'sip-files00011.pro'
f3c94efa757fcbc258fe46f442951134
4bf81ca524eb9d9f4bb0d85983c822c36d153206
describe
'24055' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEZE' 'sip-files00011.QC.jpg'
7d1fb7989fc29af2c3c1f120a88dde5f
70b8a8bf3a3a491983fa704e2a9cab4b3e9aa2ba
'2011-12-13T13:22:59-05:00'
describe
'1324388' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEZF' 'sip-files00011.tif'
aa217dcf31cc666b312bd26f5f604a11
647bc2554bbaf74734bcf158efb147d4498b9827
describe
'1302' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEZG' 'sip-files00011.txt'
74df727facd8e5158a467065f34c443b
6d977ce4e438d072aedc4998ae11cb969c0f14d6
describe
'5348' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEZH' 'sip-files00011thm.jpg'
57c7dba605a10d72d7e35cd2aa73fbae
621d2866994cf04b68b7bf690112cbea63422b66
describe
'162600' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEZI' 'sip-files00012.jp2'
a477f5bc5c7b037426c98f0b345d9669
5bca25f85dc83c21992fae99183671fa93b1ed31
describe
'91241' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEZJ' 'sip-files00012.jpg'
9a40646393f92899ed2adeec0aee3468
edb0a4c39af48763dd2d46e8c04b0bf32c187af0
describe
'25688' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEZK' 'sip-files00012.pro'
b0a7549a741d595055795d3e47dcc881
3394de5049877956f557591fb1b1dfdd8f4c89cb
describe
'24374' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEZL' 'sip-files00012.QC.jpg'
a798d6a6ffff3f5e4b66e2df806845ed
f9a87baad31b71e5b409f427dd0062604cdab765
describe
'1324912' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEZM' 'sip-files00012.tif'
c829c0d5b5722b1471d7958c7f256bb8
2d643b554a04d2c11f9c7207bb893db98299528b
describe
'1347' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEZN' 'sip-files00012.txt'
a2b32116c97010ebc909436ef7a62824
ea7ba69a0386a72dc415f1ac43a8c7f04fe93e84
describe
'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEZO' 'sip-files00012thm.jpg'
2dd0f0d051ff5c6032c4b396eb4dee19
406e313fd2bcaa30ee6229a0943a6896e349b933
describe
'162783' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEZP' 'sip-files00013.jp2'
f08b72b34402dc0309296b139c402909
efc78b900d428808da75291412be873387b2a88f
describe
'88382' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEZQ' 'sip-files00013.jpg'
ebb2f6a570710af9cb7e4abbf8fc7415
4ad50738ea3f14797d7d14a7d8d2f3f188290829
describe
'24604' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEZR' 'sip-files00013.pro'
c33b0ee4f6ca727104cd6b7d0db8a3ac
608dead93a1e2ec88a194d8af3d7962e46f95a1d
describe
'23854' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEZS' 'sip-files00013.QC.jpg'
25790e9595cb40c7298ba24cc43cc1b8
4c2bbfebd8ab8479ee0cbfdabb849e5336ad727e
describe
'1326228' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEZT' 'sip-files00013.tif'
dfb83e9486c551a6b0463bf53644684f
5458be959f83e236faf41d20f561a2bdc8a36843
describe
'1340' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEZU' 'sip-files00013.txt'
5429b5ee6524fcfbbc81b4ac560f4886
87f21a95ec157ce1a158a30997536e2ea6fe62b4
describe
WARNING CODE 'Daitss::Anomaly' Invalid character
'5472' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEZV' 'sip-files00013thm.jpg'
9b9a1dd6ab7c81cc066e2bb612544db4
6c0f18d6278fb540f222fe737292df93b4786671
describe
'162525' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEZW' 'sip-files00014.jp2'
3f2c9d918429e889977b481bf2475712
ed6e8a31980883bc7bd027e24e3cc5124c56cca1
describe
'99272' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEZX' 'sip-files00014.jpg'
8b6375bb43e9916936bc3a7d8255ddcb
4060f098616fb3f98d33c36b5cf3de623660a49d
describe
'33557' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEZY' 'sip-files00014.pro'
0398c96510fda699b26e6106f0a56ccc
18138ca2ce8499aaae620203f1620b58736fc18d
'2011-12-13T13:23:21-05:00'
describe
'25627' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAEZZ' 'sip-files00014.QC.jpg'
4d55161c2c9044d3ee1de7511f647450
3162fdf6c2c68c071b1cf611bf13b516dbc04fca
describe
'1325176' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAFAA' 'sip-files00014.tif'
497a491ca6a26c3c0a953c7fe26613fa
dade2f53d986459a09926ffb0de5507e1b5cc6ad
'2011-12-13T13:23:18-05:00'
describe
'1560' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAFAB' 'sip-files00014.txt'
a7973a6e5cce911d7750f5c927c4023c
a61975764a9f86107f9c904a7e61293a3386047f
describe
'5900' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAFAC' 'sip-files00014thm.jpg'
cd1b67b0041d045ebd4eed6a63693a5f
7aebe1efbf2aa7054803fb10fe33bac6c17d102c
describe
'162607' 'info:fdaE20080515_AAAAIBfileF20080519_AAAFAD' 'sip-files00015.jp2'
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Invalid character
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describe
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describe
TargetNamespace.1: Expecting namespace 'http://www.uflib.ufl.edu/digital/metadata/ufdc2/', but the target namespace of the schema document is 'http://digital.uflib.ufl.edu/metadata/ufdc2/'.
'2013-12-18T04:40:27-05:00' 'mixed'
xml resolution
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BROKEN_LINK http://www.uflib.ufl.edu/digital/metadata/ufdc2/ufdc2.xsd
http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema
The element type "div" must be terminated by the matching end-tag "
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TargetNamespace.1: Expecting namespace 'http://www.uflib.ufl.edu/digital/metadata/ufdc2/', but the target namespace of the schema document is 'http://digital.uflib.ufl.edu/metadata/ufdc2/'.
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describe
xml resolution


He.

AD

AE i
WTA

ih

ay
a WT

a See

AG








—S<

ys

i

Dp



=

ii | ES




Bi





SUM OV OUR

LL an ME.”




g

IN DE





V4














PREFACE TO SECOND EDITION.

: VVVV hee

oe The’ manuscript of this interesting littla book wes found on
the Bowary in New York, Auguet 80, 1694, a



The damand for tha first edition of. a half saillion copies A

ae 50 great the publishers foul Cay nse to rarunerata the ;
‘ganius who wrote it, Wea therefore nifar one hundred dolers s
in ‘gold to _tha youngster og pan substantiate als claim ta

e ita authorship, : ‘ CaN
eee y THE PUBLISHERS,




“BILL AN’ ME.”
“r :
loG NNYBODY who went to de World’s Fair won’t forgit itin a hurry.
+. I’m one. Bill Bossit he’s anuder. Bill an’ me went togedder.
Bill’s fader he’s a porter on.one ov de Pulman tranes wot runs to
Chicago, an’ he got Bill an’ mea free pass on*




eI

Ro de rode. I don’t no ware he got itan’Idon’t

-» care. Mebbe de man wasn’t lookin’ wen he
tuk it. But Bill an’ me we got on de trane an tuk a 3
feedin’ bottle wid us full ov rye wiskey. Bill he got @)WN\ yA
de fust drink an’ i had to go thirsty. Dere was anaw- piares Ry A)
ful lot ov fellers wid bottles on de trane, but wun z VS
man in frunt ov us he had a little bottle full ov white
powder an’ he got sum ice water wunce or twice an’ put
some ov the stuff in, an’ it biled up just like a gin-fizz.
He sed it kept hed-ake away. Wen we got ter Chicago
- Bill an’ me had a wash an’ made a bee-line fer de Fair
’ grounds. Sich crowds I never did see. We ast ware de

mostest fun was, an’ one ov dem fellers dey calls Colum-

bus’s Gards he sez, sez he: “‘ Youse fellers want tergotode / / eT

Midway Plaisance over dere!’’? ‘‘Anythink in it?’’ ast it
Bill. “Bet yure sweetlife,’’ sed de Gard, just as nateral as if he warn’t






\
a forriner. Sumboddy sed he warn’t a forriner neether. We went in a
place an’ had sum beer fust, an’ dere was a feller inside wot had just cum

ack from a sale on de laik, an’ he was sikker n’ a dog from C-sikness.
His pal had sum ov de stuff wot * de feller had on de trane, an’ wen
he tuk a dose ov it, the sik chap /f\ kinder braced up, an’ helarfedan’
wanted to set ’em up for de hole house. We let him du it. Wel,



de fust place we went in-
wot dey call “ Old Vien-
an imitation ov de capital
lukked very well, better,
de people wot was lukk’n
whizz! De names ov de
~ an’ nearly all ov de at-
man, but it was an elly-
de prittiest gals I ever
out ov de quante lukkin’
so bad while we was in
ded away. Dey sed ‘it
an’ as soon as she cum
was wid her, she'puld out
sune awl rite agen after.

”



ter on de Midway was
na,’’.an’ dey sed it-was
am ov Ostria in Yurope. It
hs in fact, den menny ov
| atit. Sich crowds! Gee
places broke me all up;
tendants dey spoke jer-
gant show, an’ sum ov
see were goin’ in an’-
bildins. Der crush was
dat a yung lady fainted
was nervus excitement,
two, anuder lady wot
a bottle ov dat same

gin-fizz stuff, an’ mixt up a dose for her frend. We tuk notis dat she was

w
To ennyboddy who thawt that Ireland
was chefely noted fer its pollytishuns.an’ per-
leecemen, ‘de Irish Villige was a revylashun,
an’ 'sum people’ sed it warn’t Irish at awl,
cos dere was never enny fitin’ goin’ on dere.
But dere. was sum swete-lukkin’ ‘‘colleens,”’
dey cawld ’em, makin’ the
butifullest lace an’ linen you
ever did see. An’ den dere

was de Blarney Stone,

~ wot fellers kiss wen

\ dey want ter

lie suksessful-

ly to dere best

gals. Ikissedit. So did Bill. It was de

coldest kiss I-ever had, an’ I woodnt giv

2 sents a duzzen fer’em. Neether wud

Bill. Wun ov de gals wot was makin’ de

lace had de newralagy thet bad she didn’t

“no ware she was, an’ I saw her tek sum ov

that gin-fizz powder, an’ git well quiker
n’er a wink.



s
E ‘Strete ov Kiro,’’ wich dey spell C-A-I-R-O, but I don’t
no wy, was a dandy spot an’ no-diskownt. It is de boss
, sity ov Egypt, an’ was stud on de banks ov de Nile before
dey fetched it here fer fokes ter luk at. Egypshuns
don’t hussle like Yankees dew, an thare idees ain’t
quite so noo. - Neether is thare wimin so fresh as ours,
but dey hav niser
kompleckshuns an’
use more ov it den
- laidies-in dis kun-
try. But sumhow,
bote de Egypshun
men an’ wimin in
_de strete ov. Kiro
hed cort, on ter
Yankey ways wen
: we was dere. Dey
were just as subjec to hed-akes as
Amerikans, only more so, an’ dey all
seamed to hav de same kind ov a
kure—dat little blew bottle ov white
““gin-fizz’”’ powder.


Bill Bossit, he’s half-jerman, an’ de oder half ov him is lodutch. Wen
we got ter de Jerman Villige he saw so menny pritty frauleins he dida’t
wantter cum away. He sed it was just like home to him, but he never was
nearer Jermany den Noo York, only he has a kuzen jerman, an’ once had
sum holland winder shades at his lojins. The Jerman Villige is a picteresk
moddle ov a Tootonik hamlet. We got so tootonik ourselves dat we had
to, take a tonik too. It was age, Lager. Bill he got fullern’ a
gote, an’ was reel sik to his Mies stummik. Hesed he had an
inserreksshun in his inside, an’ <%} re a feller wid a long pipe gev
him a dose ov the fizzin’ stuff St) ‘= out ov his own blew bottle.
He sed it wood settle his stum- BAW ES mik. Wel, it did settle Bill’s
stummik so quick we wisht it Fj wud settle our uther bills ike-
wise. De nawsea left him, ‘ an’ he sed all he
wanted was a gud blow in de open are. I sed,
“Awl rite, cum outside an’ [ll punch yer noz,”’
but Bill he sed that-warn’t de kinder blow he
ment. A little kid wid a hairy dg—
git a ride on de Ferris wheel, ~
wud be de best chantz Bill an’
ov gittin’ neer heven, so we
a peace an sot in de car. Gee
we started movin’ Bill an’ me








m\ cap told us to

iy an’ I thawt it
me’d ever hav
pade fifty sents
whizz! De minit
. waS sorry we
at de top, dat he cud see de hole ov de United
Staits, but I gess he lied. We both got as dizzy
as spinnin’ tops, an’ I felt as if thare was a
three-ring sirkus in myhed. I kep my ise open
as long’s I dared, but we we got nere.de top, an’
it seemed like ridin’ threw nowhare on nothin’,
I jest shet my ise tite, an’ brethed hard. It
warn’t long afore de big wheel got round to de
erth agen an’ we got out, but I staggered like a
bote-horse, an’ jest wanted ter lay down ‘sum-
; == ware an’ let my hed git levil agen. Jest den,

up cums a gud samariten an’? he séz to me, sez he, ‘‘Feel bad?’’ sez
he. ‘‘ Yew bet,” sez I, “I don’t no wether I’m standin’ on my hed or on
my heels.” ‘‘ Wate till I mix. yew a dose,” sez he. So he gits a tumbler
ov water’n a tea spoon, an’ pulls out ov his poket a little blew bottle.
. Out cums de effervessin’ powder. ‘‘Grate Scot!” sez I, ‘‘that stuff ’s
awl over de world, it seams!’ ‘So it orter be,” sez he. Wel, sir, I tuk
de glass in my hand, an’ he put in a heapin’ spoonful ov de stuff an’ it
» sizzled away in grate shape. ‘Drink it orf!’ sez he, an’ I downed it wid
my ise klosed, same’s if ’twar fizzik. Den I likt my lips an’ didn’t wunder

everyboddy used der stuff. It was nice tastin’, but I soon felt its gud



8

.

-hadn’t staid on de erth. Bill sed wen we was

Mi

oom
effeks on my hed. It kleered de kobwebs away in a few minits an’ I felt
as spry asever. But fergot to ask de man wot de stuff was.

Anoder day we went inter de Turkish Quarter ter see de sites. Bill
an’ me had ter larf at de Turks. Dere de lasiest cusses yew ever see, an’
dere cheef bizness is smokin an’ makin’ salams, wich is wot dey call
makin’ a kertsey to: der grownd wid dere long arms.
Awl de wimin has dare faces kuvver’d awl over,exsept
de ise, jest like hosses wot shies to wun side. Sum sez
it is dun to prevent frekkles, an’ sum sez its dun to
prevent dudes mashin’ ‘’em—de wimin, not de frekkles.
De averige Turkeyman is jenerally verry much marrid.
At enny rate he has enuf ov wives tew sho fer it. Dey
call thare rume de ‘‘harem,’’ an’ de wimin we saw
lukt a harum-skarum lot. If awl his wives are al-
owed tew chatter at wunse, I gess de poor Turk
offen nedes sum ov dat hed-ake stuff. Too aver-
ige wimin kan tork a man intew a nerly grave, so

de Lord noze wot ten or a duzzen kin dew wid a Sate
Zi













feller. Stil,sum ov de Turkey wimin was so shape- —g
ly, an’ thare ise shined so britely threw thare “y,
blinkers, dat Bill an’ me we kinder envid dem-“==
Turkeymen.
Den yew shud jest see sum ov dem wimin dance !
Yewd think dey wos maid ov elastik. An’ dey was
de dandiest hie-kikkers yew ever did see! Dey’d |
jest as soon kik a hole inde seelin’ j
or nok de roof outen a fellers’ hat
wid dare tose, as luk at yew. I don’t
think dey hev enny jints at awl, an’
I'll gamble pennies dey never hev
no roomatism. A feller sot besides
mei night, wen dey was tryin’ tew
kik de stuffin’ out ov de atmesfear,
an’ he sed he gessed dem gals was
spry enuf tew no a thing er too.
. “Dey aint takin’ no chantzes wid
der roomatiz,”’ he sed. “T’ll betdem gals take a dose ov
this tew or tree times a day,” an’ he shoed me one ovdem
little blew bottles ov powder. I began tew think that
every modders’ son wot wos at de Fair had cottoned |
ter that remmedi. Der big fellers wot wos runnin’ de
show—mannyjers dey kawl ’em—dey awl carrid dere little
blew bottles an’ yused ter take a‘ fizz” every now an _
agen, but chefely now. Dey sed it yused ter inviggerate tierd branes, an’



To
freshen up dere think tanks wen dey got rusty
and overwirkt, Wun ov de felers toled Bill an’
me dat wen he felt awl tierd out at nites after de
show wos over, he yused ter take a good dose ov
der stuff an’ it wud make him slepe like a hum-
min’ top. Anuder feller sed dat wen he cudn’t
. ete nothin,’ an’ felt as billyus asa biled lobster,
a gud drink ov it wud settle his a
stummikriteaway. Billseditwas 77,
“nerely as gud a settler as de av-
-erige emigrant is in de west, but
Bill he don’t no nothin,’ ’cept how
ter lie.

Wen we , went inter de Moorish Pallas it
was a grate 2 site. ’Twarnt like anythink els in
de Fair, an’ ue" it reminded Bill an’ me ov a buk=y
weuster reed ' kawled de ‘‘ Arabyan Nites.” We
never seed sich splender. The Moors wos awl moored in-~
side der Mosks, an’ der gals wos a heep prittier nor de =
men, as gals awlways is wen yew luk klose. Der moor we —=
‘saw ov.’em de better we liked ’em. (I tride dat joke on
Bill an’ he nerely dide larfin, an’ den he went all ’round:

ir












? & Pe By ges ;

. erakkin’ de same joke an’ makin’ beleeve it was his own.) Yew orter see
dem Moorish madens dans, an’ watch’em make dere skirts fli, It seams
sum of de Lady mannyjers began kikkin’ ’cos dey sed de gals in de Egyp-
shun an’ Indyan, an’ Moorish villiges kikked two much. Idon’tno. I
think 1 has as much rite tew kik as anuder, only dese gals luk .better
‘doin’ it. Bill an’ me didn’t kik agen it,—not much we didn’t.

. The place wot attracted de most
doods an’ oder 3 @ gaom kinds ov men ov
awl nashuns, wos Y Ce FOR de BUT Y show.
It wos like. gettin’ mga sy Ss nere a free Tur-.




key lunsh ter get S| inside thare, an’
the pritty gals wos
ler’s hed rite round
Bill an’ me yused
wink at de wimin in Hai

Zs enuf terturna fel-
ey SY f - on his sholders.
\ eS ter go there an’
: he thare own langwidge.

Thare was gals iS thare from every nashun
under de sun, an’ é Ey on Bill sed he thort sum_ov
dem kem from hev- ne en. Ididn’t think so. Dey
didn’t luk quiet ° eS ae enuf to be anjels. Dey'
seemed ter draw well, but menny ov ’em painted a gud deel better’n dey
cud draw. Dey had a ruddy, helthy glo on thare cheeks that dey-cud put-
off an’ on as dey liked. We never nu wot ajes dey wos and me and Bill

12
oy &

didn’t like to be two inkwisitive. Sum ‘ov ’em
lukt as if dey cud get reel mad widout enny
pertikler trubble. .

Bill an’ me” met sum wimin fokes wot kem
from our place. Dey was in de Midway nite an’
da fer a hole weak, an’ dey seamed ter stand
it.pritty gud. One ov ’em sed she liked it bet-
ter’n'shoppin’, but I didn’t beleeve that. Bill
an’ me ast her if awl de rush an’ noise didn’t
make her nervus. She sed she didn’t kare, as
she’d found sumthin’ thet jest nokt awl de
spots orf ov nervusness enny da, an’ she
opened her satchil an’ shode us thet everlastin’

little blew bottle. Sez I, “If I’ve sene dat stuff -

wunce I’ve sene it fifty times sinse-I cum to de
Fair.”’ ‘Its de best thing out fur to releeve de
hed an’ nerves”’ sezshe. I git the gratest relee



f frum it.”’ ‘I was think-

ing of applyin’ fer releef sune myself,” sez Bill, ‘‘fer I’ve jest changed
my last bill.”?. Wen the wimin herd that dey shuk us, ’cos I think dey

wanted us to sei up de ice-kreme for ’em.

Wen Bill an’ me fust found de beer-tunnel on de Midway we were jest
- tikkled ter deth, an’ we made visits thare twonoomerus ter menshun. We

oh
oe

<
was nevver lonely thare neether.‘ Dere was allwaze sumboddy or odder
droppin in.ter sea about sumthin’. It was a gud place ter studdy jags,
’an the diffrent waze dey affex peeple. Wesaw men.thare wid fitin’ jags,
weepin’ jags, larffn’ jags, mellenkoly jags, an’ quiet “stills.”. That’s:
ene the funnyest kind ov a jag to everyboddy but the
‘“‘jagee.”’ Den dere was sum wid singin’ jags
an’ most were singin’ ‘After de Bawl.” I re-
member de korus was
After de ball is over,
Wen you have drunk enuff,
Just as you feelin klover ~
Then cums the head so tiff, ,
The worst hed you ever felt, sir,
But you won’t have it at awl,
By taking a Bromo-Seltzer
After the Bawl.”
Bill an’ me awlwaze uster kall at the beer-
. _- tunnel last thing at nite. We wos so stuck on
the beer thare that we cud’nt keep away, but mebbe we didn’t have time
ter regret it nex’ mornin’! Yew never saw sich heds in awl yure born
daze. They was like two fresh punkins but they uster feel liké mush. I
don’t no wether yew ever got a hed ov that kind, but if yew did yew no



14
wot it is like. Seem’d ter me’s if I’d been
beeten wid a thik stik, an’ awl I wanted waz
ter laydown an’ dye. Bill he suffered sumthin’
awful. He wud git up inde middle ov de nite
an’ drink awl de water we had ter wash our-
selves wid. Ansichwaterl] Yew had ter klose
yer ise wen yer wanted ter
drink. Yew kin bet thare’s
more in Shikargo water ner
peeplethink. Yes, alot more,
an’ ye don’t like the luks ov
wots init ether. Bill an’ me
f didn’t.

Wel, after Bill an’ me had de big hed fer about 4
daze in konkushun I wos tellin’ a feller wot slept in de
same ranch what an awful bad time we had gettin’ over
de effex ov de nites fun. ‘‘Yurea pare ov fules!”’ sez
he. ‘No nuze in that,’’ sez I, ‘“we wos both borne
so.’’ But yew orter no better,’’ sez he. ‘‘We no that,
sezI, ‘‘but that don’t mend our heds.” ‘‘But wy in
thunder don’t yew take sumthin’ fer it?’’ sez he. ‘‘So
we du,’I anserd, kinderskornful, ‘take awl wekin hold



15
~ EWS vite . woe



“the nite afore. Wot more d’ye: want!?? « Yer dont t ketch .

. on,’ séz. he, an’ he tuk a little blew bottle from his stern fe
poket. “D’ye seethat?”’ sez he. ‘I do;” sez I,‘‘ an? Pve.
“ seen it,’or wun jest like it, wid nerely everyboddy I have.
met at de fare. Wot d’ ye kawl it ennyway?’’ Der feller he ::
luks at me kontemtuos-like an’ he sez, sez he, “That's. ©
Bromo-S£LTZER,’’ sezhe. .‘‘Wel, Grate”. is

Scot!’ sez I, “ everyboddy I’ve sene -yuse
it has spoke wel ov it, but wot gud is it fer
a big hed?” ‘‘Jest yewtryit,’’ sez he, ‘‘an’
yew won’t no wot a big hed is!.” Wel, you
kin bet neether Bill nor me ever. had a sore
hed anuder mawnin’, fer we uster kepe a
” Tittle blew bottle: bi the side ov de bed, an’
wen we felt it cummin’ on we’d mix a dose an’ down it.
Bill, he swares biit.. So do I., An’ I’ve toled-everyboddy
“wot ‘don’t no it alreddy, that dere aint ennything on dis
erth that.kures a hed-ake ov enny kind, or soothes the
‘nervs. quikker’n it: will. Bill an’ me are awlwaze goin’ ter j
keep. a bottle bi. us, ‘cos re never no wen we need it—. j
speshally Bill—even tho’ we aint in #

Dg Mipway PLAISANCE. Bee


COPYRIGHTED 1893.