Citation
Olga's dream

Material Information

Title:
Olga's dream a nineteenth century fairy tale
Creator:
Underdown, Emily
Furniss, Harry, 1854-1925 ( Illustrator )
Montagu, Irving ( Illustrator )
Skeffington & Son ( Publisher )
Chester, Norley
Place of Publication:
London
Publisher:
Skeffington & Son
Publication Date:
Language:
English
Physical Description:
x, 162, [13] p., [9] leaves of plates : ill. ; 21 cm.

Subjects

Subjects / Keywords:
Learning -- Juvenile fiction ( lcsh )
Students -- Juvenile fiction ( lcsh )
Dreams -- Juvenile fiction ( lcsh )
Education -- Juvenile fiction ( lcsh )
Imagination -- Juvenile fiction ( lcsh )
Wit and humor, Juvenile ( lcsh )
Children -- Conduct of life -- Juvenile fiction ( lcsh )
Conduct of life -- Juvenile fiction ( lcsh )
Publishers' catalogues -- 1892 ( rbgenr )
Bldn -- 1892
Genre:
Publishers' catalogues ( rbgenr )
novel ( marcgt )
Spatial Coverage:
England -- London
Target Audience:
juvenile ( marctarget )

Notes

General Note:
Publisher's catalogue follows text.
Statement of Responsibility:
by Norley Chester ; with original illustrations specially designed by Harry Furniss and Irving Montagu.

Record Information

Source Institution:
University of Florida
Holding Location:
University of Florida
Rights Management:
This item is presumed to be in the public domain. The University of Florida George A. Smathers Libraries respect the intellectual property rights of others and do not claim any copyright interest in this item. Users of this work have responsibility for determining copyright status prior to reusing, publishing or reproducing this item for purposes other than what is allowed by fair use or other copyright exemptions. Any reuse of this item in excess of fair use or other copyright exemptions may require permission of the copyright holder. The Smathers Libraries would like to learn more about this item and invite individuals or organizations to contact The Department of Special and Area Studies Collections (special@uflib.ufl.edu) with any additional information they can provide.
Resource Identifier:
026633514 ( ALEPH )
ALG4153 ( NOTIS )
11019407 ( OCLC )

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Full Text


Horry Fimiss 7

















Olga’s “Dream.












py VN
4, Ge

WG
: wn



lf






{you KNOW,’ SAID TIME, REPROACHFULLY, ‘THAT YOU HAVE BEEN
WORKING AGAINST ME,'”
( Vide page 64.)



Olga’s “1 )ream.

A NINETEENTH CENTURY FAIRY TALE.

BY

NORLEY CHESTER.

With original Illustrations specially designed by

HARRY FURNISS

AND

LRVING MONTAGT.

London:
SKEFFINGTON & SON, 163, PICCADILLY, W.

1892.





yl is hoped that as a fairy tale pure and simple



this book may interest and please young children.
But if such of the jokes and double meanings as they
may not fully understand should serve to amuse
children of a larger growth, and Olga’s Dreamland
. Suggest to them intentions other than those on the
. surface, the Author’s purpose will be more completely

fulfilled.





IT.

II.

IV.

Vi.

VII.

VIII.

IX,

XI.



DICK ...

ASSES AND RIDERS

THE ILL-TREATED X%.

HISTORY AND HER PAGE

CRITICS AND THEY

THE GIANT SCIENCE

A RACE AGAINST TIME

THE LOST MEANINGS

THE CHILDREN’S DINNER

LITTLE BLUE-BACHELOR-HOOD ...

A BALLAD AND ITS CONSEQUENCES ..

PAGE.

14

23

33

48

62

67

75

89

95



XII.

XIII.

XIV.

XV.

XVI.

XVII.

XVII.

viii.
UNNATURAL HISTORY
SPELLING AND A SPELL
FIFTHS AND A JAR
OTHER FOOLS
FISHERS .
RIGHT ANGLES AND WRONG ANGLES

THE OWL AND OTHERS

PAGE,

104

117

126

138

144

148

156



WLLUSTRATIONS.



FRONTISPIECE

THE THREE R’s

THE ASSES' BRIDGE
“TM X HIMSELF”

MAD ON ROOTS

MAD HISTORY
HISTORY'S PAGE ...
ROYALTY WHITEWASHED
THEY

CRITICS AND THE PIE

TARNISHED REPUTATIONS

PAGE

Facing page 10

16

Facing page 18

20

25

30

35

Facing page 38

44



THE GIANT SCIENCE

TIME FLYING

“WE SHALL NEVER FIND THEM”
THE EMPTY MILL

THE CATS’ CONCERT

ICE-PIE

A MILD ATTACK ...

STUCK IN A PASSAGE

THE WRONG SPELL
CONSECUTIVE FIFTHS

FISHING FOR COMPLIMENTS
OLGA SURROUNDED BY ANGLES

FINIS

PAGE

Facing page 48

62

68

Facing page 70

Facing page 72

82

85

Ior

Facing page 118

130

145

Facing page 148

162







CHAPTER I.

“Fick.

aE T- is only the Dictionary, the musty, fusty




?

old Dictionary,” said Olga.

‘I think it is a shame,” she con-
tinued, settling herself in a comfortable easy chair
by the fire, ‘‘to leave me nothing more interesting
to look at than that. Don’t you think you are
very uninteresting, you stupid old Dic—?” she
asked, giving the offending volume a push. If
silence gives assent as well as consent, the
Dictionary agreed with her.

“Tt is really too bad of Miss Trainer to keep
me waiting so long,” she went on. ‘‘ She said she

would be back in ten minutes, and it is already
A



2 Olga’s Dream.



twenty, and how doI know whether her asking me
into her private sitting-room to hear the result of
‘the Examination means that I have passed or
that I have failed. I suppose that I must have
patience, however, and perhaps I may as well
spend the time by trying to remember some of
the answers I gave.”

Here Olga closed her eyes and folded her hands
with a little sigh of resignation. ‘‘ There was
Euclid,” she said; ‘well, I know I did not do
very well in that. I missed out half those horrid
riders. And Algebra, let me see, there was that
dreadful problem: ‘Ifa man was twice as old as
his wife when he married her, and ten years after
he was forty-six, who would have been King of
England?’ Oh! no, that is not it, 1 am mixing
it up with the History. Let me try again. Ifa
man was twice as old,—which did I call X? I
can’t remember the Algebra. How stupid I am!
Then there was Harmony; that was difficult. I
remembered the rule, though, about consecutive
fifths. I do know that. You cannot have con-

secutive fifths to follow each other. But that



Diek. 3



can’t be right either; how could they be consec-
utive if they did not follow each other? I
suppose you cannot have consecutive fifths at all.
. “ The Geography I did well, I think. Trace the
course of the Rhine. I know that. The Rhine rises
on Mount S. Gotthard, and sets in the North Sea.
And how do we know the earth is round? Because
it goes round the sun, of course. I was quite
clear over the Geography, but I don’t know about
Grammar. I am afraid I made some mistakes
there. Parse: ‘ Full many a gem of purest ray
serene, the dark unfathomed caves of ocean
bear.’ I am not sure if I did that right—ocean
bear—ocean bear. I hope I called bear a common
noun, and remembered that ocean was an adjective.
But what isan ocean-bear? I don’t think it can
be a very common noun; I never heard of one
before. Then what was the feminine of monk—?
Monk? Monkey, I suppose. Oh dear, I can’t
remember anything else about anything. Define
Syntax? I can’t. Syntax—I know you have to
divide it, and say what each means separately.
What is Syntax, though?”



4 Olga’s Dream.



‘““Were you speaking to me?” said a voice.

Olga could not see anyone, but somehow this
did not strike her as at all strange, and she did
not feel inclined to take the trouble of looking for
the speaker.

‘T don’t know who you are,”

she said lazily ;
‘so of course I could not be speaking to you, but
if you can tell me what Syntax is I shall be
much obliged.”

“Of course I can,” said the voice; ‘‘ who
would be more likely to know than I? Sin means
wickedness, and tax money charged by Govern-
ment, and a sin tax is a tax on the necessities
of life.”

‘Why ?”’ said Olga.

‘Because it is a sin to make people pay for
things they can’t do without, you goose.”

‘*T see, but I don’t think I put that.”

“Very likely not. Does not that show how
necessary it is to consult me ?”

“But how can I consult you when I don’t
know who you are, or where you are, or anything

about you?”



Diek. 5



“Well, I’m here now, at any rate. Why don’t
you look at me?”

Olga turned in the direction. from which the
voice came, and saw a curious little figure sitting
huddled up by the side of her chair. He was
dressed in a long green coat, with black and white
striped pantaloons, and hada red cap on his head.
His face was wrinkled, but his expression was sharp
and keen, and he did not look really old. All this
Olga saw ata glance, but she was not more en-
lightened as to the identity of her companion.

‘“‘T know where you are now,” she said, ‘ but
you have not told me your name.”

“Oh! Ihave no end ofnames. But you may
as well simply call me Dic—”

‘Well, Mr. Dick, and may Iask what you are
doing here?”

“You need not say Mr.— Dic. is quite enough.”

‘* But it-sounds so familiar.”

‘* Never mind that. The more familiar you are
with me the better. Iam a most agreeable com-
panion, though you might not think so from my

appearance. I want you to know more of me, and



6 Olga’s Dream.



then perhaps you will not speak about me in the
contemptuous way you did just now.”

‘“‘T speak contemptuously of you! I never heard
of you before in my life.”

“Don’t be so sure of that. But now what
would you like todo? I have come to spend a
pleasant hour or two with you, and I daresay
you would like to see something interesting.
Would you like to go with me to the Field of
Learning ?”

“That would be very nice. But how shall we
_ get there?”

“Don’t trouble yourself about that. I have
the key, and you shall go with me.”

“Really,” thought Olga, ‘‘this is becoming
quite exciting.”

‘We will go by the Royal Road, and be there
in no time,” he continued.

‘But there is no royal road to learning,” said
Olga, who had frequently had that aphorism
impressed upon her.

“Ts there not?’ said her companion. ‘I have

often heard so, but Iam not sure of it myself; at



Diek. 7



any rate, whatever you may like to call it, there is
an easy way of reaching it. In the first place, you

must have a coach. I have ordered one for you,

and it is at the door now.”




RE emer

ra-THE:

ann
prs Mee? he Coie
Fp Ss
5









‘COpHE HORSES ARE KNOWN AS THE THREE R’S,’ SAID DICK,”

It did not seem at all strange to Olga after that
to find herself at the front door, and stepping with
her companion into a neat little coach drawn by

three horses.



8 Olga’s Dream.



‘The horses are known as the three R’s,” said
Dick, as they bowled along. ‘‘And the coach-
man’s name is Will; Good-Will he is sometimes
called, because he drives so well. He is a
first-rate whip. Don’t you notice how nicely he
manages the horses and how fast we race along ?”’

They were indeed going at a tremendous rate,
which seemed to Olga more like a combination
of skipping and flying than anything else.

‘“The same coach with the same team won a
very stiff race the other day,” said Dick; “but
here we are already.”

The coach now stopped, and on alighting Olga
found herself in a wide extent of country, where
such a number of people seemed to be rushing to

and fro that at first she felt quite confused.







CHAPTER II.

A\sses and fRiders.

“AO this is the Field of Learning,” said




Olga, looking around her.

“Yes,” replied Dick. ‘We are
really there, at least in one division of it, but
there are a. great many others. Do you see any-
thing which interests you particularly ?”’

‘“‘T should like to know what that is,’ said
Olga, looking at what appeared to be a most
peculiarly shaped bridge with a little crowd of
animals waiting at its foot.

‘That is the Asses’ Bridge,” said Dick, ‘‘ and
those are of course the Asses. Go nearer and see

for yourself.’’



10 Olga’s Dream.



‘‘T am sure I have seen something like it before,”
said Olga, as she watched the Asses trying in vain
to mount the Bridge, which consisted of two steep
flights of steps meeting in a point at the summit.
*¢ T wonder where it could have been.”

“In Euclid, I should think,” said Dick. ‘‘ At
any rate that is where we are now.”

“And who,” asked Olga, looking at the little
crowd on the other side of the Bridge, ‘are the
people over there ?”’

“Those,” said Dick, ‘‘are the Riders, of course.
They dismount, you know, when they reach the
Bridge and go on without the Asses, who as you
see will never succeed in following them. The
Bridge is very steep, of course. Is it not very
funny to see the poor things trying to go over it?”
and Dick chuckled with merriment. ‘But per-
haps,” he said, “ you would like to try it yourself.
It is not so difficult really as it looks.”

Olga thought she would, and to her surprise she
found that she was able to run over the bridge
quite quickly. She had a feeling that she had

done so many times before, but could not re-



























“THAT IS THE ASSES’ BRIDGE,’ SAID DICK.”



Asses and Riders. II



member exactly when. At any rate she felt quite
familiar with it. On arriving at the other side,
she found herself amid a group of busy little men
in riding costume, whom she recognised as those
which Dick had told her were Riders, and who
surrounded her immediately, confusing and rather
frightening her by their questions and requests.

“Do speak one at a time,” she cried at last,
looking round her helplessly. Whereupon one of
the number came forward and said that they
wished to ask what she wanted with them.

‘‘T want to work you,” said Olga, wondering as
she spoke what should put such a thing into her
head, but for some unknown reason it seemed the
right thing to say. ‘‘And prove you,” she added.

‘It won’t be so easy as you seem to think,”
said the Rider. ‘* Which would you like to begin
with ?”’

Olga looked round and picked out one who
looked like a Jockey.

“T will take you,” she said, pointing to him,
‘because you look small, and I think it will be

easy to work you.”



12 Olga’s Dream.



‘Very well,”” he cried impudently, ‘ but you
must first look up my servants, Proposition and
Theorem.”

?

‘“‘ Nonsense,” said Olga angrily. ‘It is far too
much trouble.”

At this the whole crowd gave vent to howls of
derision.

“You had better feel us,” said the Rider she
had selected, ‘‘ before you take up such an in-
dependent attitude.”

He came close to her as he spoke, and offered
his arm. Olga took hold of it, and could not
conceal her surprise. It might have been made of
wood.

“What do you think of us now?” he asked
with a sneer.

‘“‘T think you are very hard,” began Olga, but at
this the howls of derision were renewed.

‘* How horribly rude,” said Olga to herself. ‘I
shall not waste my time with them any longer,”
and breaking through the crowd, she again went
quickly over the Asses’ Bridge and joined Dick,

who was waiting for her on the other side.





Asses and Riders. 13



“You are soon back again,” he said slyly.
“Did you find them too much for you ?”’

‘They are perfectly horrid,” she replied, casting
looks of indignation and wrath at the Riders
as she spoke.

‘““All the same,” he said, with a knowing look,
‘it would have been a great mistake to have left
them out altogether. But here is someone else to

interest you.”







CHAPTER III.

The [l-treated Xx.

nv oe had led Olga away from the Bridge

as he spoke, and she now found herself



in the presence of a little creature who
was sitting huddled up against a high wall,
rocking himself to and fro, and filling the air
with sobs and lamentations. He rose as they
approached and looked at them suspiciously, and
Olga could hardly refrain from laughing at his
odd appearance, for his body was small and his
arms and legs turned out in the wrong direction,
making him look like two semi-circles joined
together.

‘‘If you have come to do anything with me,”



The Ill+treated X. 15



he said, ‘‘I wish you would be quick about it.”

‘‘ There has not been much time lost yet, at any
rate,” Olga ventured to remark.

“Oh! but I know what it is,” was the fretful
reply. ‘‘ People come and put me down and take
me up and move me about, and never do anything
with me after all.”

“But Iam not going to do anything of the
sort,” said Olga. ‘I think it is a shame for you
to be treated so.” .

‘Of course it isa shame, a very great shame,
but you see being where and what I am, I can’t
help it. I suppose you recognise me.”

‘IT am very sorry,” said Olga timidly, “but I



really don’t think I have the pleasure

The little creature looked very disappointed.

| thought you would be sure to,” he said. “I
am X.”

‘“You perhaps have never heard of me,” he
added sadly, as Olga made no reply.

“Oh, but I have indeed,” she said eagerly.
‘There is Xcuse and Xplanation, and oh! of

course there is Xamination.”
z



16 Olga’s Dream.



‘A different family, quite a different family,”
said X. ‘‘I am X himself.”
“Oh,” cried Olga, suddenly enlightened, ‘I

do believe I know now. You are X in Algebra.”

‘Why, of ie course,”
said X, — ‘‘where else
should I be! I suppose
you see the wall in front
of you.”

Yes, said Olga.
“What is le

‘(What is it? Why

a division to be sure, and

that higher piece is an








addition. Zz Can you see
over it?” ais =

“T think ay, Hen, BO aa
Olga. “Oh 9 eee rs yes,’ she
cried,stand- SM) HIMSBLE." ing on tip-

toe. ‘‘I see a-number of little shelves with statues
in them.” |

‘They are generally called brackets and figures,”
said X.



The Ill-treated &X. 17



‘‘And beyond that I can see part of a tree,”
said Olga.

“Ah!” said X. So you can just see the
higher branches, can you ?”’

He sat down again and began to rock himself to
and fro. ‘Perhaps you understand now,” he
sobbed, ‘‘ why Iam so unhappy. It is a dreadful
life that I have of it here, I can assure you.
There is never any peace for me. They put me
first on one side and then on another; they badger
and tease me, and kick me about, and use me just
to suit their convenience, and then at the end,
after I have done all the hard work, they cast me
aside altogether and let a figure take my place
and have all the honour and glory. A nasty
common figure!”

Olga had been watching the extraordinary
gesticulations made by X during this speech, and
the curious way in which he swung his arms and
legs about made her almost giddy, but at the
same time exercised a sort of fascination. over
her, and consequently she had not followed what

he had been saying very closely. She however



18 Olga’s Dream.



suddenly found that he expected her to speak, and
as the word figure seemed just to fit in with her
thoughts, she remarked rashly :

‘*And you certainly are rather a curious figure
you know.”

The words were repented almost as soon as said.

‘““T am not a figure,” screamed X, almost
bursting with rage. ‘‘ Will people never under-
stand how badly I am used! I will not be
insulted, I will not be called a figure. You might
as well say that I am in Arithmetic at once.”

“Tam sure 1am very sorry,” said Olga, quite
distressed at the result of her words. ‘I spoke
without thinking, but all the same, I don’t know
why you should mind being called a figure. There
is no need for you to be put out.”

“But that is just what I can’t help being,”
remarked X. ‘‘I should be glad enough to stay
in, but people never will let me.”

‘“We had better go,’ whispered Dick. ‘ Any-
thing you say will only make him more cross.”

“He certainly does seem to be very bad-

tempered,” said Olga, moving away after him.



















.

SS
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“Tl
il







SS

WS

WR SSS i
i‘

oS

iS
NY

|

ye

(co



SSsq
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SSS oS
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CJ

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”

‘““THEY ARE JUST MAD ON ROOTS.





The Ill-treated X. 1g



“Oh! they mostly are here,” replied Dick
laughing, ‘‘ except the people in there,” and he
pointed to an enclosure at one corner of the Field.

«¢ And what is that place?”

‘That is the Fool’s Paradise; we will go in
there by-and-bye.”

«©T should like to know,” said: Olga, ‘‘ what
those people are doing?”’ and she pointed to a
little group busy digging something hard and
round out of the ground.

‘Those are philologists,” said Dick. ‘ Can’t
you see for yourself what they are doing ?”

_« They seem to be digging.”

“ Digging, yes, but digging what ?”

“T don’t know.”

‘Roots, of course, you ignoramus. Greek roots
and Latin roots, roots of verbs, all sorts of roots.
They are just mad on roots.”

At that momenta most extraordinary figure, with
outstretched arms, and hair flying wildly behind her,
rushed past them. Her body was bent, and her
face seemed all awry ; both eyes squinted, her nose

was crooked, and her mouth drawn to one side.



20 Olga’s Dream.



‘‘ Who can that be?” said Olga.
‘That is History,” said Dick. ‘ Poor thing!
It is not her fault that she is so distorted. But



“POOR THING! IT IS NOT HER FAULT THAT SHE IS SO DISTORTED.”

you would like to see more of her. She is mad,
quite mad, but still she is always interesting.

Shall we go in pursuit of her?”



The Ill-treated X. 21



‘Oh yes, do let us,” cried Olga eagerly. “It
will be a very pleasant pursuit.”

‘So people say,’ said Dick, as they started
to run after the flying figure. They had not
gone far, however, before History suddenly stopped
and sat down, as if unable to go further, and
when they came up to her she was still panting.

‘“We had not much trouble this time,” said
Dick. ‘* We soon caught you up, old lady.”

‘You may well call me old,” said History, “I
suppose I am about as old as Adam.”

‘‘Tam afraid,” said Olga, ‘‘ that you are a good
deal exhausted.”

‘You are very much mistaken,” said History
sharply. ‘ That I never shall be. They may do
all sort of things to me, and ill-treat me in every
possible way, but exhaust me—no, they will never
Or tines

“I only meant,” said Olga, ‘that you must be
tired. You have been going so fast.”

“Oh, History always goes on fast nowadays,”
said Dick. ‘But now, old lady, make yourself

agreeable. We want you to entertain us.”



22 Olga’s Dream.

‘© Will you come and dine with me then ?” said
History.

“ Certainly,” said Dick,

‘Follow me,” said History, ‘‘and I will take

you to my house.”











CHAPTER IV.

$[istory and her Page.

SHE door of History’s house was opened by

such a comical figure, that Olga could



hardly refrain from laughter. He was

very tall, and his face was that of an old man, but

his ample proportions were squeezed into a very
tight suit of buttons.

‘Who is he?’? Olga managed to whisper to
Dick as they entered.

~ “T should not have thought it difficult to see,”

he replied. ‘‘ That is History’s Page, of course.”

“He looks a little big for the place,’ Olga
remarked.

“He is not so really,” said Dick, ‘but I dare-



24 Olga’s Dream.



say it is because people so often talk of looking
over him, that you expected him to be small.”

‘‘T cannot offer you a very sumptuous repast,
I am afraid,” said History, turning to them
apologetically. ‘‘I am obliged to take what they
give me, but you are very welcome to what there —
is. Pray be seated.”

In the centre of the room which they had
entered was a table with a white cloth on it, but
no other preparations for dinner; and in obedience
to her invitation, Olga and Dick sat down on one
side of it, while History herself took a seat opposite
them. The Page meanwhile had taken up his
position behind her chair, but as yet there were no
signs of anything to eat.

‘“Why don’t you bring the dinner?” said
History, turning to him sharply after a little pause,
at which the old man toddled off to a cupboard at
the other end of the room, returning with two
dishes which he placed on the table.

‘I did not know you wanted any,” he mumbled.

‘That is because you are so dull,” said History.

?

‘‘T am very sorry,” said the Page, looking at his





History and her Page. 25



buttons.

‘‘T meant to have polished them, but

really there is so much more work to do than there

used to be, and when one is so much studded

‘There, there,”’
tory, ‘‘never
rather trying to
so much. You
enough
some-
what
us?”
The
sadly.

Page

‘‘There is
said, ‘‘and some
not find anything

‘‘Tt is too
tory, ‘‘and it
when Ihavecom-
will you take?”

turning to Olga.

Mv



interrupted His-




mind. Only it is
have youvarying
bright
andlivelyenough
But
haveyoubrought

can be

times.




shook his head






LZ»

i Z
ay 7 some salad,” he
i y dates. I could
i, | G else.”

A

% 2) (fbad,” said His-
t
Z always happens

pany. Which

“THAT IS HISTORY'S

PAGE, oF coursz.” she continued,

‘“May I have a little of each together?” said

Olga timidly.



26 Olga’s Dream.



‘Certainly; itis the way they are generally taken,
but don’t take too many dates, they are very dry
and rather indigestible.”

Olga took one date and a little of the salad,
which seemed to be made of nothing but leaves,
and was certainly very dry and tasteless. Dick
did the same, but after turning some of the leaves
over in his mouth, he made a wry face.

“Oh! I say, old lady,” he said turning to
History, “‘this is really too bad, you know; I
can’t swallow it.”

‘““T am sure I am very sorry,” said History,
‘but indeed it is not my fault. I should like my
leaves to be fresh and bright if they would let me
serve them so, but they won’t, and I can’t even
give you anything to drink with it, for Iam only
allowed to offer solid fare.”

‘“‘ Tt is really too bad!” said Dick.

“It is very much too bad, but that is not the
worst. The way my most treasured possessions
are treated is what hurts me most. You see for
yourself,”’ she went on, turning to Olga, ‘‘how bare

my walls are now, but they were not always like





History and her Page. 27



that, I can assure you. My house was oncé
beautifully adorned, and people used to like to
come and see me, but they have changed all that.
My neighbour Fiction seems to be prime favourite
now, and if you will believe me, they have given
her some of my greatest treasures. There was my
picture of Alfred burning the cakes. You may
have heard of it, perhaps ?”

“Oh, yes!” said Olga.

‘Well, it was one of the first things people saw
when they entered my door, and it was always
greatly admired. It had belonged to me for
centuries, but one day they came and said it did
not belong to me at all, that I had stolen it from
Fiction, and that they should give it back to her—
and they did. And now whenever I see Fiction,
she throws it in my face. You see this bruise on
my cheek? That is where it hit me last time,
and I can tell you it is a very sore point.”

‘It isa great shame,” said Olga. ‘‘ But can-
not you get it back?” .

‘“No, indeed. It has been in Fiction’s house,
and after that I should not think of such a thing.



28 Olga’s Dream.



They have treated my other pictures in the same
way. There was onea very fine work, representing
the Siege of Troy, with the wooden horse about to
enter the town; they gave that to acreature called
Mythology, for whom I have always felt the greatest
contempt, and Drama had my Joan of Arc, being
burnt in the Market Place. They are really too
insulting. You perhaps know a picture of mine
representing Charles I. kneeling before the block.”

Olga assented. It seemed to her she had seen
or heard of it lately.

‘Tf you would believe it,” said History, “ they
say now that it is all untrue—that he was lying to
be beheaded, and that I was lying to say he was
kneeling. But there is something else which I
feel even more.” She came quite close to Olga,
and after looking round to see that there was no
one within hearing, whispered,

‘You have heard of William Tell?”

‘“‘ Of course.”

‘‘T dare not even say that he existed now; and
it is very awkward, but they tell me I shall quite

lose my character if I do. They took him away,”



History and her Page. 29



she went on sobbing, ‘‘and it quite spoilt one of
my finest groups. Come here.”

She led Olga into a corner of the room, and
pointed to a little group of statuary on a pedestal.
“There,” she said, ‘‘ you see for yourself how it
is spoilt.”

Olga looked and saw the figure of a boy with an
apple on his head, and opposite him two arms
shooting an arrow, but the figure to which they
had belonged had disappeared. ‘‘ They said it was
not genuine,’ moaned History; ‘ they told me it
had been put ina few centuries later by an inferior
artist named Fable, and they took it away. It
has quite spoilt the group you see, and before that
it was so beautiful. And this is not all; look at
those busts in the corner.”

-Olga examined them for a few minutes in silence,
“What do you think of them?” asked History.
‘They are very peculiar,” she replied. ‘I can’t

think for whom they are meant.”

“T should think not. They are quite un-
recognisable since the trick played me the other

day. The first one you see was my Richard III.
c



30 Olga’s Dream.

of England, and quite one of my chef-d’cuvres |
assure you, but once when I was out they came in

and whitewashed him. It has quite spoilt it, of
course.

back.”

I hardly knew him myself when I came
















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ROYALTY WHITEWASHED,

Olga could hardly help laughing. ‘‘ What an

odd thing to have done,” she said. ‘Was he
black before?”

‘“T hadhad him made of ebony,” said History,



History and her Page. 31



“but they declared he was only black with age,
and so, as I say, they whitewashed him. The next
one is Henry VIII. They tried to whitewash him
too, but could not quite succeed. The fact is that
an imposing little group I have consisting of his
six wives frightened them when they were in the
middle.” . |

“And did they leave off then?” asked Olga,
who felt much interested.

“Yes, they did, but just out of mere rage they
threw a handful of mud at the group and quite
spoilt the effect of the second figure, which as
you can see was made of white marble before.”

‘Tt is really too bad,” said Olga sympathet-
ically, ‘‘as you say the effect of the group is
quite spoilt.” 7

‘They spoil everything,” said History. ‘I am
afraid, really afraid, that soon they will try to
persuade me that J don’t exist myself.”

‘“They could not very well do that, could they?”
Olga was beginning to say, when a loud scream
from History interrupted her.

‘““There he comes, there he comes,” she shrieked.



32 Olga’s Dream.



7

‘“They are all after me again,” and she rushed
wildly out of doors.

- Dick and Olga followed her, but by when a they
were outside, the figure of History was nowhere

to be seen.









CHAPTER V.

(Critics and They.

AEAT can have been the matter?” said

Olga, looking around, but seeking in



vain to discover the cause of History’s

flight.
Dick laughed. ‘Oh! she caught sight of They,

I expect,” he said.

“Don’t you mean them?” Olga ventured to
suggest, struck by the apparent want of grammar
in the remark. ‘You see you were using the
objective case.”

The suggestion, however, was not received with
favour.

“You are quite wrong as it happens,” said



34 Olga’s Dream.



Dick. ‘They is a proper noun in this case, and
does not change at all. They isa personage, and
though he is very seldom seen, I caught sight of
him going round the corner just after History had
disappeared. If you like, we will go and examine
his workshop. It is quite near, and as I know he
is out, I can show you everything without fear of
interruption.”

‘“T should like to see it very much. But who is
They?”

“Well really,” said Dick, ‘‘you are more ignorant
than I thought, and that is saying a good deal.
You must have heard people often speak of him.
He is quoted as the authority for nearly every bit
of gossip or fresh item of news there is going. I
should have thought no one was better known.”

Olga did not feel much enlightened. ‘Is he
spoken of by that name?” she said.

‘Of course. Now just consider. Have you not
constantly heard people talk about what They
said?”

‘Yes, perhaps I have,” said Olga reflectively.

‘‘T can remember, for instance, to have heard a



Crities and They. 35



lady tell my mother the other day that Miss

Montague was engaged, and when mother asked



““HE IS A MAN WHO NEVER LEAVES ANY ONE ALONE; HE HAS A PECULIARITY,
TOO, OF ALWAYS PUTTING ?his AND ‘hat TOGETHER.”

her who told her so, she said, ‘Oh, They say so.’
Then, too, I have often heard my father say when



36 Olga’s Dream.



he comes home from the city in the evening,
‘They say there is really to be war.’ Can that
be the same person ?”’

‘‘ Of course it is the same, though people are so
ungrammatical or so ignorant as to talk about him
in the way you quote, as if there were many
people, whereas They is really only one. They is,
in fact, a very singular person, though people will
insist on putting him in the plural.”

‘People seem, however, generally to believe
what he says.”

‘A great deal more than he deserves, for he is
the most untruthful person really, and tells more
lies than anyone else. He is a man who never
leaves any one alone; he has a peculiarity, too, of
always putting this and that together. Very few
people have so intimate an acquaintance with him
as I have.”

“And it was They who frightened poor History
so just now, I suppose.”

‘It was; History has a great horror of They,
and she caught sight of him passing her door,

which was quite enough to bring on one of her





Grities and They. a7



attacks of madness. Besides, They has really
treated her very badly. It was he, you know, who
took away her pictures and whitewashed her statues,
and who makes her put up with such a poor
allowance of food. Really at one time it was quite
an amusement and pleasure to pay her a visit, but
her house is very unattractive now, and it is only
people who like her very much for her own sake
who care to visit her.”

“T feel very sorry for her,” said Olga, ‘she
seems to be so unhappy.” .

“You may well be, for she has a sad life of it.
At one time, whenever she added anything to her
house, people came to look at it, and the fact of it
being placed there by her was quite enough for
them. But now people are so rude, and there is
no sooner any acquisition to her belongings than
a crowd comes, and not content with looking,
first weighs everything carefully, and then pulls it
to pieces, which of course spoils it completely.
That is another reason why there are so few things
she can really call her own.”

‘‘What horrid people,” cried Olga indignantly.



38 Olga’s Dream.



“Who can they be? Everyone would not be so
rude, surely.”

“It is everyone though, more or less, but after
They the people who do it the most area class
called Critics—busy people, who like to have a
finger in every one else’s pie, and have seldom
time to make a pie of their own. The Critics do
not confine their attention to History though, and
if you like, before we investigate the premises of
They, we will look into their workshop, as it is
adjacent. They is on very good terms with
them. But here is their workshop. Will you
walk in!”

Olga was both interested and amazed, when
after entering the building they had now reached,
she looked round at its contents. There was no
one in the room, it being as Dick explained an
hour at which the Critics were all out, but there
were some most curious-looking instruments lying
about, the use of which he proceeded to explain.

“That,” he said, pointing to an apparatus some-
thing like a kitchen stove, ‘‘is used to roast un-

fortunate authors whom the Critics do not like,
















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‘BUSY PEOPLE, WHO LIKE TO HAVE A FINGER IN EVERY ONE ELSE'S PIE,”



Gritics and They. 39

that other machine near to it is a propelling
machine for pushing them forward when they do,
the set of instruments in the case is to kill them,
and the complicated-looking apparatus near is to
make them.”

‘«‘ And what are those long pipes for? They are
like some we used to have in the nursery to blow
bubbles with.”

“That is what they are for here. They are used
to blow bubble reputations.”

‘“‘ Flow curious.”

‘Perhaps, but it is one of their easiest operations.
To make an author is a much more difficult piece
of work.”

‘And how is that done ?”’

‘The methods are various, but perhaps the
most usual receipt is this: first pick to pieces care-
fully, then condense, mix up well, smooth down
with butter, and serve fresh.”

“ And do they really kill them sometimes ?”

“ Certainly.”

‘‘ How is that done ?”

“By cutting them up with the knife of satire or



40 Olga’s Dream.



the dagger of invective, by overwhelming them with
abuse, or crushing them with ridicule, or freezing
them with scoffs and sneers, or blighting them with
contempt, or praising them to death. So you see
they have many methods, and that is why they
have such a large case of instruments.”

‘I should be very sorry to be an author, to be
at the mercy of such horrid people,” cried Olga,
turning away with a shudder from the sharp cruel-
looking instruments in the case.

‘“Oh, but you must remember it is only a few
they kill, and the others would be very sorry to be
without them,” said Dick; “ but now we must turn
to the workshop of They.” He opened a door
as he spoke, and Olga followed him into another
room, somewhat resembling the last. ‘We had
better make haste,” said Dick, ‘for to tell the
truth I don’t very much care for They to find us
here. He might not like it if he knew I had been
explaining his method of work to you. Now what
is there you most want to know ?”

‘‘T should like to know what those funny-looking

things are for,” said Olga, pointing to some tubes









Grities and They. 41



with large mouthpieces and very sharp points at
the other end.

‘Those are machines for sucking other people’s
brains. They does that a great deal.”

‘“¢ How horrid.”

‘Tt is rather, but people don’t seem to find it so
painful as you would suppose. It is wonderful
how calmly the process is submitted to.”

“And what is that long thing with a handle to it ?”

“That is a scandal machine. They amuses
himself by collecting all the bits of scandal or
gossip he can, puts them in here at this end, turns
the handle and out they come at the other, larger
and more substantial, and sometimes quite different.
Tell me an ill-natured bit of gossip.”

‘Tam really afraid I cannot think of any.”

“Oh, yes, you can if you try.”

Olga thought a few minutes.

‘‘T don’t quite like to say it,”’ she said at last.

“Tt won’t do any harm, you need not be alarmed.
It is only for an experiment, you know.”

“Well then, I think I have heard that Mr.

Brown is very unkind to his wife.”



42 Olga’s Dream.



‘Then say that into this mouth-piece.” .

‘Oh, I see,” exclaimed Olga. ‘‘ It is a Phono-
graph.” |

‘It is something like one, certainly, but it has
this difference; the Phonograph repeats what is
said, and the scandal machine repeats what is not
said.” .

“What must I say ?”

‘Exactly what you said just now, and you need
only whisper it.”

Olga bent over the machine and whispered into
it, ‘I think I have heard that Mr. Brown is unkind
to his wife.”

Dick immediately turned the handle, and in a
few seconds a piece of metal fell out of the other
end.

““ Now look at that,” said Dick, holding it up.

Olga looked, and read in large letters, “ Mr.
Brown is inthe habit of beating his wife black and
blue. Signed They.”

‘© Oh dear!” she cried indismay. ‘I never said
so at all.”

‘No, you never said that, but you whispered





Grities and They. 43



into the machine, and that is the way it alters
things. Now, if that is put back into the machine
it will repeat it, and you would hear people say,
‘They say that Mr. Brown beats his wife black
and blue,’—and what is more, everyone would
believe it.”

‘Please don’t let any one see it then,” said
Olga.

‘‘No, I won’t,” said Dick. ‘ Here it goes,” and
taking up a hammer, he knocked the piece of
metal into fragments. ‘I assure you,” he said,
‘that They will sit there turning the handle for a
whole afternoon, and the amount of mischief he
does in that time is more than I could tell you.
What you have just seen is only a very small
specimen. You can never tell how anything will
come out when once it is put into the machine.
Sometimes words are omitted; for instance, a lady
says to a friend, ‘My brother has just asked Miss
Williams for a dance, but she is engaged,’ and
the machine simply repeats, ‘Miss Williams is
engaged.’ Another time the machine will slyly

substitute one little word for another, for instance,
D



44 Olga’s Dream.

‘Miss Smith is not well. The doctor says she has
run down.’ It is whispered into the machine that
she has run down, and the machine alters it into
she has run away. Then people say, ‘What a
shocking thing! They say Miss Smith has run

ts




















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“SOME OF THEM ARE VERY TARNISHED, YOU SEE.”

away.’ But the funniest thing was when Mrs.
Thompson was on a boating expedition on the
Seine. The machine altered it into im Seine, and

the report was that Mrs. Thompson was insane.”



Crities and They. 45



Olga could not help laughing. ‘ That was very
funny,’ she said.

“Tt was not very funny for Mrs. Thompson.
But we have had enough of the scandal machine.
Do you see those metal plates like shields hung up
over there ?”’

“Yes, what are they ?”’

“Those are people’s reputations; in some lights
you can see faces reflected in them. Some of them
are very tarnished, you see, that is because They
amuses himself by breathing on them.”

“ But why are some more tarnished than
others ?”’

‘“‘ Partly because some have been more breathed
on than others, partly because some are better able
to resist it.”

‘“‘How very strange it seems, though, for people’s
reputations to be made of metal.”

‘You have heard of people being on their mettle,
I suppose.”

‘‘Oh yes, often.”

“Then you know the origin of the expression.

It is when people are very anxious that their



46 Olga’s Dream.



reputation should not be injured that they are said
to be ‘on their mettle.’”’

“T shall always think of that when I hear the
expression in future.”

“Yes, it is worth remembering. But we had
better go. I see They through the window, and
he is coming this way.”

Olga looked out.

‘“¢T don’t see anyone,” she said.

“Tt is not likely you should,” said Dick. ‘‘ They
is not visible to ordinary eyes. History and I are
almost the only people who have seen him and who
recognise his work. But he will be really angry if
he finds out that I have been showing you his
machinery. Come along.” Dick seized hold of
Olga’s hand as he spoke, and the next moment she
felt herself being almost dragged out of the work-
shop and hurried on outside.

‘‘T should never have thought you would have
had so much power,” she said panting, when at
last Dick allowed her to stop.

‘Oh, [havea great deal,” said Dick, witha knowing

air. ‘ But now what would you like to do next ?”



Grities and They. 47



‘“T feel quite tired,” said Olga, ‘and should like
to rest a little first, if I may; and would you mind
telling me where we are and who that giant is who
seems to be the ruler of this part ?”

‘We are on the territory of Science, and that is
Science himself. We will go to him now, and he

shall tell you his history while you are resting.”







CHAPTER VI.

The Giant, Science.

HE figure whom Dick had called Science

was indeed of quite gigantic proportions,




and he was standing in the centre of his
territory with his hands in his pockets looking
about him with a very self-satisfied expression.

‘“‘T have brought someone to see you,” shouted
Dick, whose mouth was a long way from the
Giant’s ear, even when he stood on tip-toe. ‘She
is very anxious to make your acquaintance and
to hear your history.” .

“And what may She be?” said Science. ‘' You
know I am always very particular about definitions

and distinctions.”





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NSS AA
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wc “hh

NAGE TO TOUCH THE

TIPS OF HIS FINGERS.”

‘OLGA COULD ONLY JUST MA



The Giant Scienee. 49



‘I can give you the definition, of course,” said
Dick, ‘but as for the distinction, I am afraid she
has not gained any yet. Have you?” he asked,
turning to Olga.

“T am afraid not,” she said, ‘but I hope in

”?

this Examination



‘Oh, never mind,’’ said Science, ‘‘ we won't
quarrel about it.”

‘And then,” said Dick, “it will be a distinction
without a difference.”

“But I should like your definition,” said Science.
“What is she?”

“She,” said Dick, ‘‘is a personal pronoun.”

“That will do,” said Science. ‘Now I know
what to call her. Personal Pronoun, how do you
do?” and an enormous hand was taken out of his
pocket and extended in the direction of Olga, who
could only just manage to touch the tips of the
fingers.

‘She is not big enough even to grasp my
hand,” said Science, and his huge sides shook
with laughter.

“But Iam quite big enough to hear what you



50 Olga’s Dream.



say,” said Olga boldly, ‘and I should like you to
tell me your history very much, but you need not
call me Personal Pronoun; it is not my name.”

‘Never mind,” whispered Dick, ‘‘ Personal
Pronoun is as good a name for him to call you by
as any other. He would not like to speak to you
by so small a word as She. He’s very fond of big
sounding words, is Science.”

‘What's all that you are talking about?” shouted
Science:

‘Oh, nothing,” said Dick, ‘“‘we are quite ready
to hear your history, so please begin.”

‘‘There’s nothing much to tell,” said Science,
“the most curious thing about me is my rapid
growth. I was neither very big nor very strong
as a child, and no one supposed I should ever be
a Giant, nor that I should ever attain to the
position I now hold. I was rather a troublesome
child and liked my own way, and I had a very
hard time of it on the whole. Some people con-
sidered me quite a dangerous character, even
when I was very young. Others thought me an

upstart, and did their best to crush me, many



The Giant Science. 51



laughed at me and said I should come to no good,
but I did not care for any one’s opinion; I hada
sort of feeling that I should be of importance some
day, and perhaps this feeling was encouraged by
the narrow escapes I had had in my infancy. The
nurse who had charge of me was very careless, and
more than once I was nearly strangled. Another
time she sat upon me, and if it had not been for
my strong will I should have been crushed to
death, but I made a great effort and screamed so
loudly that all the household came to see what
was the matter, and I was rescued. While | was
still very young, I chafed against restraint and at
last ran away, and ever since then I have had
more or less freedom, far more than any of my
relations or ancestors ever had. It was soon after
this that I commenced to grow amazingly fast.
In a very short time I became so big that my
former acquaintances hardly recognised me.”

“And yet,” said Olga, ‘I have heard people
speak of taking you up, and of dropping you.”

‘Tt only shows,” said Science, ‘‘ what nonsense

people will talk. Now that you have seen me, you



52 Olga’s Dream.



must see how absurd it is. Look,” he went on,
‘“‘at the size of my territory ; as far round as you
can see on every side is mine, but I want more
yet, and am constantly adding to it. But talking
of that reminds me to ask you if you know how to
annihilate space.”

‘‘ No, I don’t,” said Olga.

“Tt is very simple,” said Science. ‘‘ You have
only to heat the world with electricity, and then
there will be no such thing as cold, and con-
sequently no such thing as distance. Do you see?”

“No,” said Olga. ‘‘I don’t quite. I did not
know cold and distance were the same.”

‘‘ Nonsense,” said Dick. ‘You must often have
heard a distant manner called a cold manner, and
a cold manner a distant one.”

?

‘‘ Another object that I have in view,” continued
Science, ‘‘is to put the world right over the Darwin
Theory. It is marvellous, considering how short a
time he has been dead, that his meaning should
have been so perverted. It was all a printer’s

error, you know.”
“What was?”



The Giant Seience. 53



“Why, the descent of man. It ought to have
been from the Alpes, spelt French fashion, instead
of Apes, but by a stupid mistake the 1 was left out
in the original edition. Darwin’s theory was simply
that primitive man inhabited a lofty region of the
Alps. It was the wisest thing they could do.
They wanted elevating, and up there they had
plenty of space and plenty of air, which by the by
is the true meaning of our Airy Parent.”

‘“T thought it was Hairy Parent.”

“ Another vulgar error. But to continue. They |
liked being up there. It was convenient, it was out
of the way of wild animals, and in fact they had a
very happy, peaceful existence. You see they were
before the days of Alms and of Alpine Clubs, that
we know for a certainty, and from this fact we
reasonably infer that there was no warfare. But
at last the glacial period came on, and of course
they could not stand that; so they came down,
and there you get the ‘ Descent of Man.’”

Olga thought it sounded very simple.
“You would never imagine,” said Science, ‘that

human folly and human ingenuity could have



54 Olga’s Dream.



perverted such obvious truth into so strange and
grotesque a theory. But it is just like the human
intellect. Half my time is taken in unteaching
what has been learnt.”

‘¢ And when you have done that,” said Olga, ‘1
suppose people are untaught.”

Science looked at her suspiciously, but she so
evidently did not mean any offence that he took
no notice of her remark.

“Tf you like to come with me,” he said, after a
short pause, ‘‘I will introduce you to some of my
family. One of my residences is quite near. It is
not my best by any means, but I am obliged to some
extent to live there, and appear in it frequently.”

Olga declared she would be delighted, and
Science began to move, begging her and Dick to
follow him. They however soon found it impossible
to keep pace with him, and Dick was obliged to ask
him to move a little slower.

‘You take such tremendous strides nowadays,” he
said crossly, ‘‘there is no keeping up with you at all.”

Science again laughed till his huge frame shook,

but moderated his pace to theirs.



The Giant Science. 55



‘Oh! what an excellent joke to be sure,” he said.

“Have you forgotten how many races we have
had, and that I am always far ahead of you, and
you consequently far behind me? But never mind;
we'll let by-gones be by-gones.”

Turning a sudden corner, they now saw before
them a gay-looking house with many windows,
bearing over the door in large letters the inscription
“POPULAR LITERATURE.”

‘What a pretty house,” exclaimed Olga.

‘‘T don’t care for it much myself,” said Science.
“T prefer to be higher up, but I am gbliged to
come down to this sometimes.” |

‘It is very attractive,” whispered Dick, ‘‘to an
outside observer, but poorly furnished. You won't
find much in it.”

‘“You must be prepared for some very curious
things about it,’ said Science, as he opened the
door, which yielded at a slight touch. ‘‘It is quite
unlike any other house, partly owing to my own
arrangement. I will take you over it first if
you like.”

Olga was much struck by the size of the house



56 Olga’s Dream.

when she found herself inside. ‘I never thought
it would be so big,” she said.

2

“Yes, it is big,” said Science, ‘‘ but you see my
own size requires a large house, and there are a
number of other inhabitants. Don’t you notice
anything else peculiar about it?”

“Oh!” shrieked Olga, ‘‘ what is happening?
Am I giddy, or is it turning round, or what is it ?”

“Don’t be frightened,” said Science kindly.
“¢ You will soon be used to it. It is only the rapid
circulation that you feel.”

In a few minutes Olga did indeed lose the
curious feeling which she had experienced at first,
and was quite ready to follow Science over the
house.

‘‘TDown the passage,” he said, ‘‘are what we
call the Magazines. Have you heard of such a
thing before ?”

‘‘Not in connection with a house,” said Olga.
“But of course I have heard of a Powder
Magazine.”

“It is much the same thing,” said Science,

‘‘but there is this difference. A Powder Magazine



The Giant Seienee. 57



has to be kept dry, and that is just what these
magazines must not be. Look inside one.”

He opened a door near Olga, and she looked
inside. What she saw was a most dainty room,
it was pretty, it was bright, it was refreshing to the
eyes, it was artistic, but from the ceiling and the
walls exuded great drops of moisture which had
already begun to stain the furniture and spoil the
appearance of the whole.

‘You see,” said Science, ‘one of the results of
excluding dryness. That furniture has only been
there three weeks, and in another week it will have
to be removed and fresh put. If we leave it longer,
it will become stale and musty, and no one will look
at it. That isa Magazine in which I frequently
appear. Here is another which I less frequently
patronise.” He threw open another door, and
Olga saw a room less prettily furnished, and with
what appeared to be pots of growing corn placed
round it.

“You see,” said Science, ‘‘that that one is
full of serials. I need not take you below,” he

continued, as they moved away. ‘You know
EB



58 Olga’s Dream.



what is underneath these rooms, of course.”

‘“T don’t think so,” said Olga, wondering how
she should be likely to.

‘Why the sellers, of course. They support the
whole thing, and overhead is a department in-
habited principally by Fiction, but I also put in an
appearance there occasionally.”

‘“‘ And what is that part called?” asked Olga.

‘The upper stories. But now will you come to
the Nursery? I am sorry that my wife is out, but
some of the children are at home.”’ :

‘‘ May I ask who your wife is?” said Olga shyly.
She was not sure if the question were quite polite,
but she had never heard of a Mrs. Science, and did
so much want to know. To her relief, Science did
not seem to object to the enquiry at all.

‘“ My wife is Dame Nature,” he said pleasantly.
‘She is a dear creature, but very reserved. She
keeps all her secrets for me, which of course is as
it should be, but lately she has become almost
too shy. She thinks people don’t lke her, and
she hardly ever appears alone. If Iam not able to

go out with her, she takes Art, our eldest daughter.”’



The Giant Seience. 59



They had gone down another passage as he
spoke, and now Olga found herself in an enormous
nursery, where several children were amusing
themselves.

‘Come here, Telegraphy,” cried Science to one,
and a tall, slim youth advanced with a rapid gliding
movement from the other end of the room.

‘This is one of my sons,” he said to Olga.
“ He has not much brain,” he added in a whisper,
‘and helps me very little, but I use him for
_ messages, and in that way he is very useful, though
already his little brother Telephone is far quicker
at the same thing. This is Microscope, one of
my special pets,’”’ he continued, pointing to a very
bright-looking little girl. ‘‘She is so small and
delicate that I can carry her in my pocket, but
equally clever and precise. I use her to look for
things, and there is hardly anything escapes her,
however small. Besides which, when I am at
work, she has learnt to hold a lantern in sucha
way as to throw light on everything. I am sorry
my elder son Telescope is out to-day. He is

clumsy, poor fellow, and does not improve much,



60 Olga’s Dream.



but he does very good work, and is extremely far-
seeing. Now you must see my babies. These
two sweet little twins are still too young and weak
to be of much use, but I am very fond of them.
Come here Phonograph and Microphone.”

Two beautifully-formed little creatures trotted up.

“They are both wonderful children,’ said
Science, with paternal pride, ‘‘and I do hope I
shall be able to train them to something useful.
At present, while they are still so to speak in their
infancy, one cannot be much surprised at their
being more ornamental. They both, however, have
the same talent for recitation; they will repeat
anything. Phonograph does it the best though,”
he continued, caressing the little creature fondly,
‘‘because she never minds how often she says a
thing, and retains everything. Poor Microphone,
I fear, will never make much use of her talent.
She magnifies every task you give her, and though
she can repeat anything after you, she cannot
retain it’ But dear me,” he added, looking out of
the window, ‘‘ Time is flying, and I must really

ask you to excuse me.”



The Giant Seience. 61



‘© Good-bye,” said Olga, ‘‘and thank you very
much.”

“Come along, come along,” whispered Dick,
who, unnoticed by Olga, had followed her into
the Nursery, ‘there is something I wish you

to see.”







CHAPTER VII.

AS Race against Time.

HAT is it?” asked Olga, as soon as they

were outside.



‘Did you not hear him say that Time









| ~ CF
was flying?” said Dick. ‘I thought if we were very
quick, we might be able to see him doit, and that it

would be rather fun. Ah! there he is. Come along.”



BR Race against Time. 63



He seized Olga by the hand and hurried her
on at a breathless speed, but just when she was
beginning to pant out that she could go no further,
he stopped.

“We have caught him up at last,” he said, ‘‘but
I am afraid you won’t see him fly now. He seems
to be going on with his ordinary hum-drum
occupation.”

Olga sank on the ground quite worn out.

“Oh dear,” she exclaimed, ‘what a race I
have had!”

“So you are one of my enemies, too?” said a
high-pitched voice beside her.

Olga started. ‘ Indeed I am not,” she said,
turning in the direction of the voice, and perceiving
an old man with long grey hair, and a pair of
shears with which he was clipping the hedge.
“Are you Time ?” she asked.

“Yes,” was the melancholy reply, ‘1 am Time.”

“ And why are you clipping the “hedge ?” asked
Olga.

‘To cut it short, of course.”

“Why!” exclaimed Olga, ‘that ts just what



64 Olga’s Dream.



you did to one of my examination papers.”

“I daresay,” said Time. “It is one of my
most usual occupations, and I do it to all sorts of
things ; but if you want to talk to me you had better
walk by my side and keep pace with me. I can’t
stand still, and youwon’t find it easyto catch me up.”

Olga rose to obey him.

‘“What a funny trio we are,” she thought, as
she trudged along with the strange old figure of
Time on one side, and that of her queer little
friend Dick on the other.

‘‘ It is ofno use for you to say that you are not
one of my enemies,’’ said the old fellow, still care-
fully clipping the hedge, ‘when you have just
admitted that you have had a race against me.”

‘But I never meant any harm by that,” said
Olga. ‘I only thought that you were flying, and
that I had better make haste,” she added, rather
inconsequently.

“But you know,” said Time reproachfully,
“that you have been working against me. If that
is not being my enemy, what is?”

“I was rather pressed in my examination,



A Race against Time. 65



certainly,” said Olga, ‘‘and perhaps I did work

”

against Time. But



“Qh don’t make any excuses,” said Time
bitterly. ‘I am used to being hated and abused.
Many people would kill me if they could. Have
you not heard them talk about trying to kill Time?”

“Well, perhaps I have, but I don’t think they
really mean it.”

“ But they do though. They consider me their
greatest enemy. ‘How goes the enemy?’ they say,
and that means me. They are always finding fault
with me. Some say I go too fast, and others that I
go too slowly ; some that I am too short, and others
that Iamtoolong. Others not content to abuse me
put their ill-feeling into practice. They beat me and
mark me, and it is of no use for me to try and escape,
for then they keep me, and to add insult to injury
call me ‘good’ and ‘perfect.’ You see how, thin I
am,” he went on, ‘‘that is because I am so wasted.
It is a miserable life I lead.”

‘It seems to me that everyone is more or less
miserable here,” said Olga, with a sigh and thinking
of X and History.



66 Olga’s Dream.



‘‘No one is so miserable as I am,” said Time,
shaking his grey locks; ‘though people never
will believe it. ‘It’s high time,’ they say, when it
is really low Time, or ‘ Time’s up’ when I feel
very down. But talking to you won’t make it any
better, so good-bye.”

Olga felt herself dismissed, and turned to leave
him.

‘‘T am afraid he has depressed you,” said Dick,
as they watched his melancholy figure clipping the
hedge with never-ceasing activity, while he moved
on down the long lane in front of them. ‘ But
come in here and you will find something so
interesting that you will soon lose sight of him.”
He pointed as he spoke to a low building on

their left.







CHAPTER VIII.

The Tost {eanings.

they approached the building, Olga

noticed two children, evidently brother



and sister, walking along hand in hand
with downcast eyes, as if searching for something.

“We shall never find them, I knowwe never shall,”
the boy was saying with a sob as they drew near.

“What is it you are looking for?” said Olga,
touched by his evident distress.

‘For the meaning of some poems,” said the
girl, who seemed the elder of the two. ‘We can’t
find them at all, and we have looked so hard.”

‘Ves,’ chimed in the boy, ‘‘and father says we

must not go home until we see them.”



68 Olga’s Dream.



‘“Perhaps they are not here at all,” suggested
Olga. |

‘‘But they must be,” said the little boy, ‘‘because
we have to find them out, and this is out, isn’t it?”

‘“We thought,” said his sister, “that we had
caught sight of them just now, but they disappeared



y
Uy wy i
|



‘WE SHALL NEVER FIND THEM.”

again at once, and it is so difficult to trace them.”

‘‘T don’t believe there ave any meanings,” her
brother began with a sob, but just then he caught
sight of Dick’s kindly old face, and his own
suddenly brightened.



The Lost Meanings. 69



“ Oh! please sir,” he cried, running up to him
and taking hold of his hand, “can you help us!
You look as if you might be able to do so.”

“Tt is very likely,” said Dick, with an en-
couraging smile, ‘‘for as it happens, my little
man, you have come to just the very best person
to help you ina search for meanings. But first
we must hear the poems.”

“You begin,” said the little boy, giving his
sister a push, and the little girl folded her hands

and recited the following :—

THE EMPTY MILL.

There once was a Mill

On the top of a hill,

With which there was this fault to find,
That the whole of the day

It would motionless stay ;

’Twas a mill which never would grind.

They pumped and they thumped,
They stumped and they bumped,

They endeavoured to make it go round.
They toiled and they moiled,

They oiled and they boiled,

In vain, for the mill never ground.



7O

Olga’s Dream.



Then they hired several fellows
With huge pairs of bellows

To poff at the mill night and day,

To push it and press it,
To curse it and bless it,

And make it go round the right way.

Soon they cried out ‘* What luck!”
For the sails which had stuck

To race round at last had begun:

And they said, “‘ Now, who’s master? ”
And worked them still faster,

Till quicker than ever they spun.

Then the Millers came fast,

For they said, “‘ Now, at last,

We shall have a fine harvest of flour;
Oh! open the mill,

Our sacks we will fill,

And sell it for bread in an hour.”

But one slight mistake

All these people did make,

And great was the blow to their pride,
For they found to their pain

They’d forgotten the grain—

And the mill had had nothing inside.





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“THEN THEY HIRED SEVERAL FELLOWS
WITH HUGE PAIRS OF BELLOWS.”



The Lost Meanings. 71



‘‘ The meaning of that is very easy to see,”’ said
Dick, when she had finished. ‘All you want is
a pair of spectacles which I will lend you, and
then it will become quite clear.” He drew a large
spectacle case out of his pocket as he spoke, and
took from it a pair of spectacles, which he handed
the little girl. ‘Now look before you,” he said,
‘and tell me what you see.”

The child looked on the groundandread. ‘‘You .
can’t get anything out where there is nothing in.”

“Oh! thank you so much,” she a“ clapping
her hands, ‘‘it is quite easy to see.’

‘And now,” said Dick, ‘‘let the little bape give
us his poem, and then lend him the glasses and
see if he can find a meaning too.” |

The little boy came forward rather shyly and
recited the following :—

THE CATS’ CONCERT.
A household of cats
Caught mice and caught rats,
And made that their principal calling,
Till they heard one fine day,

From over the way,

A cat who was singing (or squalling).



72

Olga’s Dream.



Then nothing would do,

But these cats said they, too,

Must have lessons in music so thrilling,
And they hired a tom-cat, ~
Clad in boots and top-hat,

To teach them—two hours for a shilling.

Then cats, black and tabby,
Cats neat, and cats shabby,
Assembled to hear them perform.
Mrs. Sandy sang first,

A song much rehearsed,

And received of applause quite a storm.

Some said, ‘“‘ What a treat!”
And others, ‘“‘ How sweet!”
And others, “‘That last note, how true!”

‘Some cried, ‘‘’Tis entrancing,

We'll join in with dancing,”
While others said nothing but “ Mew.”

Next old Mr. Muff,

In a voice slightly gruff,

Sang a sweet serenade in A minor;

It moved some to tears, ,

They declared it was years

Since they’d listened to one which was finer.















‘(THEY HIRED A TOM-CAT,
CLAD IN BOOTS AND TOP-HAT.”



The Lost Meanings. 73



And a bashful young cat
Pitched her voice on B flat,
And warbled a sad little ditty,
While playing the harp

In the key of F sharp,

Which was novel at least, if not pretty.

And the tenor and bass

_ Each rose in his place,

And no one could say which was flatter ;
As they could not agree,

Each chose his own key—

Such a detail could surely not matter!

Then the altos took leave

In a recitative,

While the trebles were trilling and shaking,
And the bass sang one note,

Very deep in his throat,

In a way which was really most taking.

The concert then ended,

And voices were blended

In thanking the cats every one;
When—rat-a-tat-tan, ,
And in came a man,

Which at once put a stop to the fun.



74 Olga’s Dream.



He said, ‘‘ Pray, sit down,”

Then looked round with a frown,
And added, “‘ Of course this is nice,
To teach cats to sing

Is an excellent thing,

But who is to kill all the mice?”

When he had finished, his sister handed him
the spectacles, and he immediately read on the
ground,

‘“We need the useful as well as the ornamental.”

“Oh thank you, thank you,” cried both children,
covering Dick’s hand with kisses.

‘‘ And now trot home,” said. Dick kindly, ‘‘ and
remember to turn to me the next time you are in
any difficulty of the kind.”

The happy little pair did his bidding, and Dick
led Olga to the door of the building she had

noticed before.







CHAPTER IX.

The (Ehildren’s” Dinner.

HAT is happening?” said Olga, as they

entered, and she saw a number of children



seated at a long table.

‘It is only some children having their dinner,”
replied Dick, ‘but it is a very different sort of
meal to what you usually call dinner, and it may
interest you to watch them at it. They have not
begun yet.” |

“What sort of dinner do they have then?”
asked Olga. ‘Is there more than one dish on the
same day?”

“More than one dish on the same day! I

should think there is. One of the peculiarities of



76 Olga’s Dream.



the diet here is that no one is allowed to eat more
than a very little bit of anything. As soon asa
child begins to enjoy a dish he is given another,
and they have the most extraordinary mixtures—
things dry, and hard, and tough, and sweet, dishes
deep and dishes shallow, fragments and large
pieces are all served promiscuously.”

‘‘ And do they really enjoy it?”

“ Yes, they really do here. But then this is
considered a model place, and children who do not
like the fare provided, are not admitted if it can
be helped. All places of the kind are not like this
one. But look, they are going to begin.”

At that moment a bell was rung loudly, and at
once the children became as grave and silent as
possible.

‘They are not allowed to talk during their
meals,” whispered Dick. ‘Here come the dishes.”
A: number of young men and women came into the
room as he spoke, carrying a quantity of small
dishes, which they proceeded to place on the table,
and then to serve the children from their contents.

It took some time to provide them all with their



The Ghildren’s Dinner. 77



dinner, but all seemed admirably arranged, and
there was no confusion. The children began
silently to eat in what seemed to Olga a most
solemn and business-like manner, while the servants,
for such she concluded they were, waited upon
them, serving them to fresh pieces when they
thought well, cutting up the meat of the younger
ones, and often feeding them. Olga was surprised
to see what big children seemed to be unable to
manage all this for themselves, but when she
remarked on it to Dick, he smiled and told her
to go nearer and see what kind of food they had.

‘You may speak to them,” he said. ‘‘ Visitors
are allowed to ask questions.”

Near to Olga was a little group of boys who
were apparently struggling painfully to cut up and
afterwards to masticate their portion of food. One
of the servants every now and then whispered
what appeared to be a few words of advice to
them, occasionally bending forward to show them
how to manage and what pieces to take.

“May I ask what you are eating?” said Olga

politely.



78 Olga’s Dream.



“*Bacon,” said one bright-looking boy. ‘‘ We
have pieces of Bacon to-day.”

‘Tt is not like any bacon I have ever seen
before,” said Olga.

‘‘ Have you never seen it before?” said the boy,
in a surprised tone of voice. ‘‘It is Francis Bacon,
not Roger, you know.”

‘““T never heard of such a dish,” said Olga,
feeling quite confused, ‘‘but I have heard of the
man.” |

‘““That’s it,” said the boy, struggling to cut off
apiece. ‘Jt is the same thing, you know.”

‘You seem to find it difficult to cut,” said Olga.

‘Yes, it is a bit tough, but we like it,” was the
cheerful reply. ‘It is no good giving one anything
too tender, you know, not now that we are getting
older. There’s no fun in eating tender things.”

‘“ Have the younger ones more tender food
then ?”’

‘Oh, dear me, yes, those little ones at the other
end of the table are fed partly on fancy dishes,
and don’t they just enjoy them. Why they’ve

‘never had enough.”



The Ghildren’s Dinner. 79



‘And you used to be fed like that once, I
suppose.”

‘““Yes, when I was little too, but 1 was very
tired of it long ago.”

‘“‘ And are you never tired of what they give you
now?” asked Olga, but her informant had just
succeeded in severing a piece of Bacon, and his
mouth was. so full he could not reply. Olga waited
a minute, but finding that he showed no signs of
answering, turned away and walked to the other
end of the table where the younger children were
seated. The dear little things looked as happy
and bright as children could, and were evidently
thoroughly enjoying their dinner.

‘Please, please, some more,” one of them was
saying in an entreating voice.

“Well, just one more, and that must be all
to-day,” said the attendant, and helped the child
to something from the dish.

?

‘Give me another, too, please,” said another
child, and was helped to some more by the same
attendant, who then cut up the food and fed the

two children in turn.



80 Olga’s Dream.



‘‘ What is it you are eating ?” said Olga. “ You
seem to enjoy it very much.”

But the two children had their eyes fixed on their
dinner, and did not appear to hear the question.

‘It is Lamb’s Tales they are having to-day,”
said the servant, answering for them.

‘The name sounds familiar to me,” said Olga,
trying to recollect where she had lately heard it.
It suddenly occurred to her that she was thinking
of ‘‘Lamb’s Tales from Shakespere.”’

‘‘But do they never have anything lighter than
that ?” she asked.

‘Tt is the very lightest thing provided. here,’
said the attendant, ‘“‘ but our children would turn
up their noses at anything lighter. What some
people would consider dainties, are only given to
them as punishment when they have done anything
wrong.”

‘“And what,” asked Olga, ‘‘ may these punish-
ment dishes be ?”

‘““ Every sort of game, whipped top ——”

‘“Whipped top!” interposed Olga, “I don’t
think I ever tasted that.”



The Ghildren’s Dinner. 81



‘‘ Surely,” said the attendant, with a half pitying
smile.

An idea struck Olga, ‘‘I daresay it is another
name for whipped cream,” she said, ‘“‘ and you call
it top because it is skimmed off the top of milk.”

‘“‘T hardly think so,” said the attendant. ‘‘ No
skimming is allowed here, and cream has to be
fresh while this is always turned. But it does not
much matter. Another punishment dish is ice-pie.
You have heard of that, of course.”

“T spy! Yes, I have heard of that; it isa game.”

‘“Not the kind we have here, nor is it a sweet,
as you might imagine. It is of course very cold,
and it is considered bitter. There is no punish-
ment the children dislike somuch. That little boy
over there in the corner has it to-day, because he
refused his dinner yesterday.”

Olga turned her eyes in the direction indicated,
and could hardly refrain from laughing. There sat
asmall boy by himself, in front of him an enormous
pie, from which at regular intervals he took a.
mouthful. Each time he did so he gave utterance

to the words ‘‘Ice-pie, ice-pie,” in a dull monotonous.



82 Olga’s Dream.



voice, but the funniest part was to see the peculiar
nervous starts and jumps he gave every time he

put one of the cold morsels in his mouth.















































Irvin
alk







“ICE-PIE, ICE-PIE,”

‘‘Ffe will never get through it,” thought Olga,
‘unless someone. helps him.”

‘‘ Do the elder children have punishment dishes



The Ghildren’s Dinner. 83



too?’’ she asked, turning to the attendant.

‘“ Certainly, cooked leap-frog is one that is often
given, and preserved cricket another.”

“T thought,” said Olga, “that it was only in
France that they eat frogs, and I never heard of
crickets being eaten anywhere.”’

‘But they are here asa punishment. Bats are
also often served.”

‘You mean balls,’”’ said Olga, thinking of tennis.

‘‘ No, it is bats which are served here, but they
are never served without a bawl, certainly. You
should hear the sounds of dismay the children make
when they are forced to take one.”

“And what,” asked Olga, ‘‘are the principal
faults for which they are punished ?”

‘At first it is generally that they will not eat
enough, but lately we have been obliged to introduce
a punishment for over-eating. They are all so fond .
of the fare provided, that it is very difficult to stop
them; and, of course, ifthey eat too much, the results
are bad. Several illnesses have been caused by it.”

“What kind of illnesses generally ? Do they

suffer from fever?”



Full Text


Horry Fimiss 7








Olga’s “Dream.









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{you KNOW,’ SAID TIME, REPROACHFULLY, ‘THAT YOU HAVE BEEN
WORKING AGAINST ME,'”
( Vide page 64.)
Olga’s “1 )ream.

A NINETEENTH CENTURY FAIRY TALE.

BY

NORLEY CHESTER.

With original Illustrations specially designed by

HARRY FURNISS

AND

LRVING MONTAGT.

London:
SKEFFINGTON & SON, 163, PICCADILLY, W.

1892.


yl is hoped that as a fairy tale pure and simple



this book may interest and please young children.
But if such of the jokes and double meanings as they
may not fully understand should serve to amuse
children of a larger growth, and Olga’s Dreamland
. Suggest to them intentions other than those on the
. surface, the Author’s purpose will be more completely

fulfilled.


IT.

II.

IV.

Vi.

VII.

VIII.

IX,

XI.



DICK ...

ASSES AND RIDERS

THE ILL-TREATED X%.

HISTORY AND HER PAGE

CRITICS AND THEY

THE GIANT SCIENCE

A RACE AGAINST TIME

THE LOST MEANINGS

THE CHILDREN’S DINNER

LITTLE BLUE-BACHELOR-HOOD ...

A BALLAD AND ITS CONSEQUENCES ..

PAGE.

14

23

33

48

62

67

75

89

95
XII.

XIII.

XIV.

XV.

XVI.

XVII.

XVII.

viii.
UNNATURAL HISTORY
SPELLING AND A SPELL
FIFTHS AND A JAR
OTHER FOOLS
FISHERS .
RIGHT ANGLES AND WRONG ANGLES

THE OWL AND OTHERS

PAGE,

104

117

126

138

144

148

156
WLLUSTRATIONS.



FRONTISPIECE

THE THREE R’s

THE ASSES' BRIDGE
“TM X HIMSELF”

MAD ON ROOTS

MAD HISTORY
HISTORY'S PAGE ...
ROYALTY WHITEWASHED
THEY

CRITICS AND THE PIE

TARNISHED REPUTATIONS

PAGE

Facing page 10

16

Facing page 18

20

25

30

35

Facing page 38

44
THE GIANT SCIENCE

TIME FLYING

“WE SHALL NEVER FIND THEM”
THE EMPTY MILL

THE CATS’ CONCERT

ICE-PIE

A MILD ATTACK ...

STUCK IN A PASSAGE

THE WRONG SPELL
CONSECUTIVE FIFTHS

FISHING FOR COMPLIMENTS
OLGA SURROUNDED BY ANGLES

FINIS

PAGE

Facing page 48

62

68

Facing page 70

Facing page 72

82

85

Ior

Facing page 118

130

145

Facing page 148

162




CHAPTER I.

“Fick.

aE T- is only the Dictionary, the musty, fusty




?

old Dictionary,” said Olga.

‘I think it is a shame,” she con-
tinued, settling herself in a comfortable easy chair
by the fire, ‘‘to leave me nothing more interesting
to look at than that. Don’t you think you are
very uninteresting, you stupid old Dic—?” she
asked, giving the offending volume a push. If
silence gives assent as well as consent, the
Dictionary agreed with her.

“Tt is really too bad of Miss Trainer to keep
me waiting so long,” she went on. ‘‘ She said she

would be back in ten minutes, and it is already
A
2 Olga’s Dream.



twenty, and how doI know whether her asking me
into her private sitting-room to hear the result of
‘the Examination means that I have passed or
that I have failed. I suppose that I must have
patience, however, and perhaps I may as well
spend the time by trying to remember some of
the answers I gave.”

Here Olga closed her eyes and folded her hands
with a little sigh of resignation. ‘‘ There was
Euclid,” she said; ‘well, I know I did not do
very well in that. I missed out half those horrid
riders. And Algebra, let me see, there was that
dreadful problem: ‘Ifa man was twice as old as
his wife when he married her, and ten years after
he was forty-six, who would have been King of
England?’ Oh! no, that is not it, 1 am mixing
it up with the History. Let me try again. Ifa
man was twice as old,—which did I call X? I
can’t remember the Algebra. How stupid I am!
Then there was Harmony; that was difficult. I
remembered the rule, though, about consecutive
fifths. I do know that. You cannot have con-

secutive fifths to follow each other. But that
Diek. 3



can’t be right either; how could they be consec-
utive if they did not follow each other? I
suppose you cannot have consecutive fifths at all.
. “ The Geography I did well, I think. Trace the
course of the Rhine. I know that. The Rhine rises
on Mount S. Gotthard, and sets in the North Sea.
And how do we know the earth is round? Because
it goes round the sun, of course. I was quite
clear over the Geography, but I don’t know about
Grammar. I am afraid I made some mistakes
there. Parse: ‘ Full many a gem of purest ray
serene, the dark unfathomed caves of ocean
bear.’ I am not sure if I did that right—ocean
bear—ocean bear. I hope I called bear a common
noun, and remembered that ocean was an adjective.
But what isan ocean-bear? I don’t think it can
be a very common noun; I never heard of one
before. Then what was the feminine of monk—?
Monk? Monkey, I suppose. Oh dear, I can’t
remember anything else about anything. Define
Syntax? I can’t. Syntax—I know you have to
divide it, and say what each means separately.
What is Syntax, though?”
4 Olga’s Dream.



‘““Were you speaking to me?” said a voice.

Olga could not see anyone, but somehow this
did not strike her as at all strange, and she did
not feel inclined to take the trouble of looking for
the speaker.

‘T don’t know who you are,”

she said lazily ;
‘so of course I could not be speaking to you, but
if you can tell me what Syntax is I shall be
much obliged.”

“Of course I can,” said the voice; ‘‘ who
would be more likely to know than I? Sin means
wickedness, and tax money charged by Govern-
ment, and a sin tax is a tax on the necessities
of life.”

‘Why ?”’ said Olga.

‘Because it is a sin to make people pay for
things they can’t do without, you goose.”

‘*T see, but I don’t think I put that.”

“Very likely not. Does not that show how
necessary it is to consult me ?”

“But how can I consult you when I don’t
know who you are, or where you are, or anything

about you?”
Diek. 5



“Well, I’m here now, at any rate. Why don’t
you look at me?”

Olga turned in the direction. from which the
voice came, and saw a curious little figure sitting
huddled up by the side of her chair. He was
dressed in a long green coat, with black and white
striped pantaloons, and hada red cap on his head.
His face was wrinkled, but his expression was sharp
and keen, and he did not look really old. All this
Olga saw ata glance, but she was not more en-
lightened as to the identity of her companion.

‘“‘T know where you are now,” she said, ‘ but
you have not told me your name.”

“Oh! Ihave no end ofnames. But you may
as well simply call me Dic—”

‘Well, Mr. Dick, and may Iask what you are
doing here?”

“You need not say Mr.— Dic. is quite enough.”

‘* But it-sounds so familiar.”

‘* Never mind that. The more familiar you are
with me the better. Iam a most agreeable com-
panion, though you might not think so from my

appearance. I want you to know more of me, and
6 Olga’s Dream.



then perhaps you will not speak about me in the
contemptuous way you did just now.”

‘“‘T speak contemptuously of you! I never heard
of you before in my life.”

“Don’t be so sure of that. But now what
would you like todo? I have come to spend a
pleasant hour or two with you, and I daresay
you would like to see something interesting.
Would you like to go with me to the Field of
Learning ?”

“That would be very nice. But how shall we
_ get there?”

“Don’t trouble yourself about that. I have
the key, and you shall go with me.”

“Really,” thought Olga, ‘‘this is becoming
quite exciting.”

‘We will go by the Royal Road, and be there
in no time,” he continued.

‘But there is no royal road to learning,” said
Olga, who had frequently had that aphorism
impressed upon her.

“Ts there not?’ said her companion. ‘I have

often heard so, but Iam not sure of it myself; at
Diek. 7



any rate, whatever you may like to call it, there is
an easy way of reaching it. In the first place, you

must have a coach. I have ordered one for you,

and it is at the door now.”




RE emer

ra-THE:

ann
prs Mee? he Coie
Fp Ss
5









‘COpHE HORSES ARE KNOWN AS THE THREE R’S,’ SAID DICK,”

It did not seem at all strange to Olga after that
to find herself at the front door, and stepping with
her companion into a neat little coach drawn by

three horses.
8 Olga’s Dream.



‘The horses are known as the three R’s,” said
Dick, as they bowled along. ‘‘And the coach-
man’s name is Will; Good-Will he is sometimes
called, because he drives so well. He is a
first-rate whip. Don’t you notice how nicely he
manages the horses and how fast we race along ?”’

They were indeed going at a tremendous rate,
which seemed to Olga more like a combination
of skipping and flying than anything else.

‘“The same coach with the same team won a
very stiff race the other day,” said Dick; “but
here we are already.”

The coach now stopped, and on alighting Olga
found herself in a wide extent of country, where
such a number of people seemed to be rushing to

and fro that at first she felt quite confused.




CHAPTER II.

A\sses and fRiders.

“AO this is the Field of Learning,” said




Olga, looking around her.

“Yes,” replied Dick. ‘We are
really there, at least in one division of it, but
there are a. great many others. Do you see any-
thing which interests you particularly ?”’

‘“‘T should like to know what that is,’ said
Olga, looking at what appeared to be a most
peculiarly shaped bridge with a little crowd of
animals waiting at its foot.

‘That is the Asses’ Bridge,” said Dick, ‘‘ and
those are of course the Asses. Go nearer and see

for yourself.’’
10 Olga’s Dream.



‘‘T am sure I have seen something like it before,”
said Olga, as she watched the Asses trying in vain
to mount the Bridge, which consisted of two steep
flights of steps meeting in a point at the summit.
*¢ T wonder where it could have been.”

“In Euclid, I should think,” said Dick. ‘‘ At
any rate that is where we are now.”

“And who,” asked Olga, looking at the little
crowd on the other side of the Bridge, ‘are the
people over there ?”’

“Those,” said Dick, ‘‘are the Riders, of course.
They dismount, you know, when they reach the
Bridge and go on without the Asses, who as you
see will never succeed in following them. The
Bridge is very steep, of course. Is it not very
funny to see the poor things trying to go over it?”
and Dick chuckled with merriment. ‘But per-
haps,” he said, “ you would like to try it yourself.
It is not so difficult really as it looks.”

Olga thought she would, and to her surprise she
found that she was able to run over the bridge
quite quickly. She had a feeling that she had

done so many times before, but could not re-
























“THAT IS THE ASSES’ BRIDGE,’ SAID DICK.”
Asses and Riders. II



member exactly when. At any rate she felt quite
familiar with it. On arriving at the other side,
she found herself amid a group of busy little men
in riding costume, whom she recognised as those
which Dick had told her were Riders, and who
surrounded her immediately, confusing and rather
frightening her by their questions and requests.

“Do speak one at a time,” she cried at last,
looking round her helplessly. Whereupon one of
the number came forward and said that they
wished to ask what she wanted with them.

‘‘T want to work you,” said Olga, wondering as
she spoke what should put such a thing into her
head, but for some unknown reason it seemed the
right thing to say. ‘‘And prove you,” she added.

‘It won’t be so easy as you seem to think,”
said the Rider. ‘* Which would you like to begin
with ?”’

Olga looked round and picked out one who
looked like a Jockey.

“T will take you,” she said, pointing to him,
‘because you look small, and I think it will be

easy to work you.”
12 Olga’s Dream.



‘Very well,”” he cried impudently, ‘ but you
must first look up my servants, Proposition and
Theorem.”

?

‘“‘ Nonsense,” said Olga angrily. ‘It is far too
much trouble.”

At this the whole crowd gave vent to howls of
derision.

“You had better feel us,” said the Rider she
had selected, ‘‘ before you take up such an in-
dependent attitude.”

He came close to her as he spoke, and offered
his arm. Olga took hold of it, and could not
conceal her surprise. It might have been made of
wood.

“What do you think of us now?” he asked
with a sneer.

‘“‘T think you are very hard,” began Olga, but at
this the howls of derision were renewed.

‘* How horribly rude,” said Olga to herself. ‘I
shall not waste my time with them any longer,”
and breaking through the crowd, she again went
quickly over the Asses’ Bridge and joined Dick,

who was waiting for her on the other side.


Asses and Riders. 13



“You are soon back again,” he said slyly.
“Did you find them too much for you ?”’

‘They are perfectly horrid,” she replied, casting
looks of indignation and wrath at the Riders
as she spoke.

‘““All the same,” he said, with a knowing look,
‘it would have been a great mistake to have left
them out altogether. But here is someone else to

interest you.”




CHAPTER III.

The [l-treated Xx.

nv oe had led Olga away from the Bridge

as he spoke, and she now found herself



in the presence of a little creature who
was sitting huddled up against a high wall,
rocking himself to and fro, and filling the air
with sobs and lamentations. He rose as they
approached and looked at them suspiciously, and
Olga could hardly refrain from laughing at his
odd appearance, for his body was small and his
arms and legs turned out in the wrong direction,
making him look like two semi-circles joined
together.

‘‘If you have come to do anything with me,”
The Ill+treated X. 15



he said, ‘‘I wish you would be quick about it.”

‘‘ There has not been much time lost yet, at any
rate,” Olga ventured to remark.

“Oh! but I know what it is,” was the fretful
reply. ‘‘ People come and put me down and take
me up and move me about, and never do anything
with me after all.”

“But Iam not going to do anything of the
sort,” said Olga. ‘I think it is a shame for you
to be treated so.” .

‘Of course it isa shame, a very great shame,
but you see being where and what I am, I can’t
help it. I suppose you recognise me.”

‘IT am very sorry,” said Olga timidly, “but I



really don’t think I have the pleasure

The little creature looked very disappointed.

| thought you would be sure to,” he said. “I
am X.”

‘“You perhaps have never heard of me,” he
added sadly, as Olga made no reply.

“Oh, but I have indeed,” she said eagerly.
‘There is Xcuse and Xplanation, and oh! of

course there is Xamination.”
z
16 Olga’s Dream.



‘A different family, quite a different family,”
said X. ‘‘I am X himself.”
“Oh,” cried Olga, suddenly enlightened, ‘I

do believe I know now. You are X in Algebra.”

‘Why, of ie course,”
said X, — ‘‘where else
should I be! I suppose
you see the wall in front
of you.”

Yes, said Olga.
“What is le

‘(What is it? Why

a division to be sure, and

that higher piece is an








addition. Zz Can you see
over it?” ais =

“T think ay, Hen, BO aa
Olga. “Oh 9 eee rs yes,’ she
cried,stand- SM) HIMSBLE." ing on tip-

toe. ‘‘I see a-number of little shelves with statues
in them.” |

‘They are generally called brackets and figures,”
said X.
The Ill-treated &X. 17



‘‘And beyond that I can see part of a tree,”
said Olga.

“Ah!” said X. So you can just see the
higher branches, can you ?”’

He sat down again and began to rock himself to
and fro. ‘Perhaps you understand now,” he
sobbed, ‘‘ why Iam so unhappy. It is a dreadful
life that I have of it here, I can assure you.
There is never any peace for me. They put me
first on one side and then on another; they badger
and tease me, and kick me about, and use me just
to suit their convenience, and then at the end,
after I have done all the hard work, they cast me
aside altogether and let a figure take my place
and have all the honour and glory. A nasty
common figure!”

Olga had been watching the extraordinary
gesticulations made by X during this speech, and
the curious way in which he swung his arms and
legs about made her almost giddy, but at the
same time exercised a sort of fascination. over
her, and consequently she had not followed what

he had been saying very closely. She however
18 Olga’s Dream.



suddenly found that he expected her to speak, and
as the word figure seemed just to fit in with her
thoughts, she remarked rashly :

‘*And you certainly are rather a curious figure
you know.”

The words were repented almost as soon as said.

‘““T am not a figure,” screamed X, almost
bursting with rage. ‘‘ Will people never under-
stand how badly I am used! I will not be
insulted, I will not be called a figure. You might
as well say that I am in Arithmetic at once.”

“Tam sure 1am very sorry,” said Olga, quite
distressed at the result of her words. ‘I spoke
without thinking, but all the same, I don’t know
why you should mind being called a figure. There
is no need for you to be put out.”

“But that is just what I can’t help being,”
remarked X. ‘‘I should be glad enough to stay
in, but people never will let me.”

‘“We had better go,’ whispered Dick. ‘ Any-
thing you say will only make him more cross.”

“He certainly does seem to be very bad-

tempered,” said Olga, moving away after him.
















.

SS
\

“Tl
il







SS

WS

WR SSS i
i‘

oS

iS
NY

|

ye

(co



SSsq
\ .
SSS oS
\y



CJ

ENT)





”

‘““THEY ARE JUST MAD ON ROOTS.


The Ill-treated X. 1g



“Oh! they mostly are here,” replied Dick
laughing, ‘‘ except the people in there,” and he
pointed to an enclosure at one corner of the Field.

«¢ And what is that place?”

‘That is the Fool’s Paradise; we will go in
there by-and-bye.”

«©T should like to know,” said: Olga, ‘‘ what
those people are doing?”’ and she pointed to a
little group busy digging something hard and
round out of the ground.

‘Those are philologists,” said Dick. ‘ Can’t
you see for yourself what they are doing ?”

_« They seem to be digging.”

“ Digging, yes, but digging what ?”

“T don’t know.”

‘Roots, of course, you ignoramus. Greek roots
and Latin roots, roots of verbs, all sorts of roots.
They are just mad on roots.”

At that momenta most extraordinary figure, with
outstretched arms, and hair flying wildly behind her,
rushed past them. Her body was bent, and her
face seemed all awry ; both eyes squinted, her nose

was crooked, and her mouth drawn to one side.
20 Olga’s Dream.



‘‘ Who can that be?” said Olga.
‘That is History,” said Dick. ‘ Poor thing!
It is not her fault that she is so distorted. But



“POOR THING! IT IS NOT HER FAULT THAT SHE IS SO DISTORTED.”

you would like to see more of her. She is mad,
quite mad, but still she is always interesting.

Shall we go in pursuit of her?”
The Ill-treated X. 21



‘Oh yes, do let us,” cried Olga eagerly. “It
will be a very pleasant pursuit.”

‘So people say,’ said Dick, as they started
to run after the flying figure. They had not
gone far, however, before History suddenly stopped
and sat down, as if unable to go further, and
when they came up to her she was still panting.

‘“We had not much trouble this time,” said
Dick. ‘* We soon caught you up, old lady.”

‘You may well call me old,” said History, “I
suppose I am about as old as Adam.”

‘‘Tam afraid,” said Olga, ‘‘ that you are a good
deal exhausted.”

‘You are very much mistaken,” said History
sharply. ‘ That I never shall be. They may do
all sort of things to me, and ill-treat me in every
possible way, but exhaust me—no, they will never
Or tines

“I only meant,” said Olga, ‘that you must be
tired. You have been going so fast.”

“Oh, History always goes on fast nowadays,”
said Dick. ‘But now, old lady, make yourself

agreeable. We want you to entertain us.”
22 Olga’s Dream.

‘© Will you come and dine with me then ?” said
History.

“ Certainly,” said Dick,

‘Follow me,” said History, ‘‘and I will take

you to my house.”








CHAPTER IV.

$[istory and her Page.

SHE door of History’s house was opened by

such a comical figure, that Olga could



hardly refrain from laughter. He was

very tall, and his face was that of an old man, but

his ample proportions were squeezed into a very
tight suit of buttons.

‘Who is he?’? Olga managed to whisper to
Dick as they entered.

~ “T should not have thought it difficult to see,”

he replied. ‘‘ That is History’s Page, of course.”

“He looks a little big for the place,’ Olga
remarked.

“He is not so really,” said Dick, ‘but I dare-
24 Olga’s Dream.



say it is because people so often talk of looking
over him, that you expected him to be small.”

‘‘T cannot offer you a very sumptuous repast,
I am afraid,” said History, turning to them
apologetically. ‘‘I am obliged to take what they
give me, but you are very welcome to what there —
is. Pray be seated.”

In the centre of the room which they had
entered was a table with a white cloth on it, but
no other preparations for dinner; and in obedience
to her invitation, Olga and Dick sat down on one
side of it, while History herself took a seat opposite
them. The Page meanwhile had taken up his
position behind her chair, but as yet there were no
signs of anything to eat.

‘“Why don’t you bring the dinner?” said
History, turning to him sharply after a little pause,
at which the old man toddled off to a cupboard at
the other end of the room, returning with two
dishes which he placed on the table.

‘I did not know you wanted any,” he mumbled.

‘That is because you are so dull,” said History.

?

‘‘T am very sorry,” said the Page, looking at his


History and her Page. 25



buttons.

‘‘T meant to have polished them, but

really there is so much more work to do than there

used to be, and when one is so much studded

‘There, there,”’
tory, ‘‘never
rather trying to
so much. You
enough
some-
what
us?”
The
sadly.

Page

‘‘There is
said, ‘‘and some
not find anything

‘‘Tt is too
tory, ‘‘and it
when Ihavecom-
will you take?”

turning to Olga.

Mv



interrupted His-




mind. Only it is
have youvarying
bright
andlivelyenough
But
haveyoubrought

can be

times.




shook his head






LZ»

i Z
ay 7 some salad,” he
i y dates. I could
i, | G else.”

A

% 2) (fbad,” said His-
t
Z always happens

pany. Which

“THAT IS HISTORY'S

PAGE, oF coursz.” she continued,

‘“May I have a little of each together?” said

Olga timidly.
26 Olga’s Dream.



‘Certainly; itis the way they are generally taken,
but don’t take too many dates, they are very dry
and rather indigestible.”

Olga took one date and a little of the salad,
which seemed to be made of nothing but leaves,
and was certainly very dry and tasteless. Dick
did the same, but after turning some of the leaves
over in his mouth, he made a wry face.

“Oh! I say, old lady,” he said turning to
History, “‘this is really too bad, you know; I
can’t swallow it.”

‘““T am sure I am very sorry,” said History,
‘but indeed it is not my fault. I should like my
leaves to be fresh and bright if they would let me
serve them so, but they won’t, and I can’t even
give you anything to drink with it, for Iam only
allowed to offer solid fare.”

‘“‘ Tt is really too bad!” said Dick.

“It is very much too bad, but that is not the
worst. The way my most treasured possessions
are treated is what hurts me most. You see for
yourself,”’ she went on, turning to Olga, ‘‘how bare

my walls are now, but they were not always like


History and her Page. 27



that, I can assure you. My house was oncé
beautifully adorned, and people used to like to
come and see me, but they have changed all that.
My neighbour Fiction seems to be prime favourite
now, and if you will believe me, they have given
her some of my greatest treasures. There was my
picture of Alfred burning the cakes. You may
have heard of it, perhaps ?”

“Oh, yes!” said Olga.

‘Well, it was one of the first things people saw
when they entered my door, and it was always
greatly admired. It had belonged to me for
centuries, but one day they came and said it did
not belong to me at all, that I had stolen it from
Fiction, and that they should give it back to her—
and they did. And now whenever I see Fiction,
she throws it in my face. You see this bruise on
my cheek? That is where it hit me last time,
and I can tell you it is a very sore point.”

‘It isa great shame,” said Olga. ‘‘ But can-
not you get it back?” .

‘“No, indeed. It has been in Fiction’s house,
and after that I should not think of such a thing.
28 Olga’s Dream.



They have treated my other pictures in the same
way. There was onea very fine work, representing
the Siege of Troy, with the wooden horse about to
enter the town; they gave that to acreature called
Mythology, for whom I have always felt the greatest
contempt, and Drama had my Joan of Arc, being
burnt in the Market Place. They are really too
insulting. You perhaps know a picture of mine
representing Charles I. kneeling before the block.”

Olga assented. It seemed to her she had seen
or heard of it lately.

‘Tf you would believe it,” said History, “ they
say now that it is all untrue—that he was lying to
be beheaded, and that I was lying to say he was
kneeling. But there is something else which I
feel even more.” She came quite close to Olga,
and after looking round to see that there was no
one within hearing, whispered,

‘You have heard of William Tell?”

‘“‘ Of course.”

‘‘T dare not even say that he existed now; and
it is very awkward, but they tell me I shall quite

lose my character if I do. They took him away,”
History and her Page. 29



she went on sobbing, ‘‘and it quite spoilt one of
my finest groups. Come here.”

She led Olga into a corner of the room, and
pointed to a little group of statuary on a pedestal.
“There,” she said, ‘‘ you see for yourself how it
is spoilt.”

Olga looked and saw the figure of a boy with an
apple on his head, and opposite him two arms
shooting an arrow, but the figure to which they
had belonged had disappeared. ‘‘ They said it was
not genuine,’ moaned History; ‘ they told me it
had been put ina few centuries later by an inferior
artist named Fable, and they took it away. It
has quite spoilt the group you see, and before that
it was so beautiful. And this is not all; look at
those busts in the corner.”

-Olga examined them for a few minutes in silence,
“What do you think of them?” asked History.
‘They are very peculiar,” she replied. ‘I can’t

think for whom they are meant.”

“T should think not. They are quite un-
recognisable since the trick played me the other

day. The first one you see was my Richard III.
c
30 Olga’s Dream.

of England, and quite one of my chef-d’cuvres |
assure you, but once when I was out they came in

and whitewashed him. It has quite spoilt it, of
course.

back.”

I hardly knew him myself when I came
















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ROYALTY WHITEWASHED,

Olga could hardly help laughing. ‘‘ What an

odd thing to have done,” she said. ‘Was he
black before?”

‘“T hadhad him made of ebony,” said History,
History and her Page. 31



“but they declared he was only black with age,
and so, as I say, they whitewashed him. The next
one is Henry VIII. They tried to whitewash him
too, but could not quite succeed. The fact is that
an imposing little group I have consisting of his
six wives frightened them when they were in the
middle.” . |

“And did they leave off then?” asked Olga,
who felt much interested.

“Yes, they did, but just out of mere rage they
threw a handful of mud at the group and quite
spoilt the effect of the second figure, which as
you can see was made of white marble before.”

‘Tt is really too bad,” said Olga sympathet-
ically, ‘‘as you say the effect of the group is
quite spoilt.” 7

‘They spoil everything,” said History. ‘I am
afraid, really afraid, that soon they will try to
persuade me that J don’t exist myself.”

‘“They could not very well do that, could they?”
Olga was beginning to say, when a loud scream
from History interrupted her.

‘““There he comes, there he comes,” she shrieked.
32 Olga’s Dream.



7

‘“They are all after me again,” and she rushed
wildly out of doors.

- Dick and Olga followed her, but by when a they
were outside, the figure of History was nowhere

to be seen.






CHAPTER V.

(Critics and They.

AEAT can have been the matter?” said

Olga, looking around, but seeking in



vain to discover the cause of History’s

flight.
Dick laughed. ‘Oh! she caught sight of They,

I expect,” he said.

“Don’t you mean them?” Olga ventured to
suggest, struck by the apparent want of grammar
in the remark. ‘You see you were using the
objective case.”

The suggestion, however, was not received with
favour.

“You are quite wrong as it happens,” said
34 Olga’s Dream.



Dick. ‘They is a proper noun in this case, and
does not change at all. They isa personage, and
though he is very seldom seen, I caught sight of
him going round the corner just after History had
disappeared. If you like, we will go and examine
his workshop. It is quite near, and as I know he
is out, I can show you everything without fear of
interruption.”

‘“T should like to see it very much. But who is
They?”

“Well really,” said Dick, ‘‘you are more ignorant
than I thought, and that is saying a good deal.
You must have heard people often speak of him.
He is quoted as the authority for nearly every bit
of gossip or fresh item of news there is going. I
should have thought no one was better known.”

Olga did not feel much enlightened. ‘Is he
spoken of by that name?” she said.

‘Of course. Now just consider. Have you not
constantly heard people talk about what They
said?”

‘Yes, perhaps I have,” said Olga reflectively.

‘‘T can remember, for instance, to have heard a
Crities and They. 35



lady tell my mother the other day that Miss

Montague was engaged, and when mother asked



““HE IS A MAN WHO NEVER LEAVES ANY ONE ALONE; HE HAS A PECULIARITY,
TOO, OF ALWAYS PUTTING ?his AND ‘hat TOGETHER.”

her who told her so, she said, ‘Oh, They say so.’
Then, too, I have often heard my father say when
36 Olga’s Dream.



he comes home from the city in the evening,
‘They say there is really to be war.’ Can that
be the same person ?”’

‘‘ Of course it is the same, though people are so
ungrammatical or so ignorant as to talk about him
in the way you quote, as if there were many
people, whereas They is really only one. They is,
in fact, a very singular person, though people will
insist on putting him in the plural.”

‘People seem, however, generally to believe
what he says.”

‘A great deal more than he deserves, for he is
the most untruthful person really, and tells more
lies than anyone else. He is a man who never
leaves any one alone; he has a peculiarity, too, of
always putting this and that together. Very few
people have so intimate an acquaintance with him
as I have.”

“And it was They who frightened poor History
so just now, I suppose.”

‘It was; History has a great horror of They,
and she caught sight of him passing her door,

which was quite enough to bring on one of her


Grities and They. a7



attacks of madness. Besides, They has really
treated her very badly. It was he, you know, who
took away her pictures and whitewashed her statues,
and who makes her put up with such a poor
allowance of food. Really at one time it was quite
an amusement and pleasure to pay her a visit, but
her house is very unattractive now, and it is only
people who like her very much for her own sake
who care to visit her.”

“T feel very sorry for her,” said Olga, ‘she
seems to be so unhappy.” .

“You may well be, for she has a sad life of it.
At one time, whenever she added anything to her
house, people came to look at it, and the fact of it
being placed there by her was quite enough for
them. But now people are so rude, and there is
no sooner any acquisition to her belongings than
a crowd comes, and not content with looking,
first weighs everything carefully, and then pulls it
to pieces, which of course spoils it completely.
That is another reason why there are so few things
she can really call her own.”

‘‘What horrid people,” cried Olga indignantly.
38 Olga’s Dream.



“Who can they be? Everyone would not be so
rude, surely.”

“It is everyone though, more or less, but after
They the people who do it the most area class
called Critics—busy people, who like to have a
finger in every one else’s pie, and have seldom
time to make a pie of their own. The Critics do
not confine their attention to History though, and
if you like, before we investigate the premises of
They, we will look into their workshop, as it is
adjacent. They is on very good terms with
them. But here is their workshop. Will you
walk in!”

Olga was both interested and amazed, when
after entering the building they had now reached,
she looked round at its contents. There was no
one in the room, it being as Dick explained an
hour at which the Critics were all out, but there
were some most curious-looking instruments lying
about, the use of which he proceeded to explain.

“That,” he said, pointing to an apparatus some-
thing like a kitchen stove, ‘‘is used to roast un-

fortunate authors whom the Critics do not like,













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‘BUSY PEOPLE, WHO LIKE TO HAVE A FINGER IN EVERY ONE ELSE'S PIE,”
Gritics and They. 39

that other machine near to it is a propelling
machine for pushing them forward when they do,
the set of instruments in the case is to kill them,
and the complicated-looking apparatus near is to
make them.”

‘«‘ And what are those long pipes for? They are
like some we used to have in the nursery to blow
bubbles with.”

“That is what they are for here. They are used
to blow bubble reputations.”

‘“‘ Flow curious.”

‘Perhaps, but it is one of their easiest operations.
To make an author is a much more difficult piece
of work.”

‘And how is that done ?”’

‘The methods are various, but perhaps the
most usual receipt is this: first pick to pieces care-
fully, then condense, mix up well, smooth down
with butter, and serve fresh.”

“ And do they really kill them sometimes ?”

“ Certainly.”

‘‘ How is that done ?”

“By cutting them up with the knife of satire or
40 Olga’s Dream.



the dagger of invective, by overwhelming them with
abuse, or crushing them with ridicule, or freezing
them with scoffs and sneers, or blighting them with
contempt, or praising them to death. So you see
they have many methods, and that is why they
have such a large case of instruments.”

‘I should be very sorry to be an author, to be
at the mercy of such horrid people,” cried Olga,
turning away with a shudder from the sharp cruel-
looking instruments in the case.

‘“Oh, but you must remember it is only a few
they kill, and the others would be very sorry to be
without them,” said Dick; “ but now we must turn
to the workshop of They.” He opened a door
as he spoke, and Olga followed him into another
room, somewhat resembling the last. ‘We had
better make haste,” said Dick, ‘for to tell the
truth I don’t very much care for They to find us
here. He might not like it if he knew I had been
explaining his method of work to you. Now what
is there you most want to know ?”

‘‘T should like to know what those funny-looking

things are for,” said Olga, pointing to some tubes






Grities and They. 41



with large mouthpieces and very sharp points at
the other end.

‘Those are machines for sucking other people’s
brains. They does that a great deal.”

‘“¢ How horrid.”

‘Tt is rather, but people don’t seem to find it so
painful as you would suppose. It is wonderful
how calmly the process is submitted to.”

“And what is that long thing with a handle to it ?”

“That is a scandal machine. They amuses
himself by collecting all the bits of scandal or
gossip he can, puts them in here at this end, turns
the handle and out they come at the other, larger
and more substantial, and sometimes quite different.
Tell me an ill-natured bit of gossip.”

‘Tam really afraid I cannot think of any.”

“Oh, yes, you can if you try.”

Olga thought a few minutes.

‘‘T don’t quite like to say it,”’ she said at last.

“Tt won’t do any harm, you need not be alarmed.
It is only for an experiment, you know.”

“Well then, I think I have heard that Mr.

Brown is very unkind to his wife.”
42 Olga’s Dream.



‘Then say that into this mouth-piece.” .

‘Oh, I see,” exclaimed Olga. ‘‘ It is a Phono-
graph.” |

‘It is something like one, certainly, but it has
this difference; the Phonograph repeats what is
said, and the scandal machine repeats what is not
said.” .

“What must I say ?”

‘Exactly what you said just now, and you need
only whisper it.”

Olga bent over the machine and whispered into
it, ‘I think I have heard that Mr. Brown is unkind
to his wife.”

Dick immediately turned the handle, and in a
few seconds a piece of metal fell out of the other
end.

““ Now look at that,” said Dick, holding it up.

Olga looked, and read in large letters, “ Mr.
Brown is inthe habit of beating his wife black and
blue. Signed They.”

‘© Oh dear!” she cried indismay. ‘I never said
so at all.”

‘No, you never said that, but you whispered


Grities and They. 43



into the machine, and that is the way it alters
things. Now, if that is put back into the machine
it will repeat it, and you would hear people say,
‘They say that Mr. Brown beats his wife black
and blue,’—and what is more, everyone would
believe it.”

‘Please don’t let any one see it then,” said
Olga.

‘‘No, I won’t,” said Dick. ‘ Here it goes,” and
taking up a hammer, he knocked the piece of
metal into fragments. ‘I assure you,” he said,
‘that They will sit there turning the handle for a
whole afternoon, and the amount of mischief he
does in that time is more than I could tell you.
What you have just seen is only a very small
specimen. You can never tell how anything will
come out when once it is put into the machine.
Sometimes words are omitted; for instance, a lady
says to a friend, ‘My brother has just asked Miss
Williams for a dance, but she is engaged,’ and
the machine simply repeats, ‘Miss Williams is
engaged.’ Another time the machine will slyly

substitute one little word for another, for instance,
D
44 Olga’s Dream.

‘Miss Smith is not well. The doctor says she has
run down.’ It is whispered into the machine that
she has run down, and the machine alters it into
she has run away. Then people say, ‘What a
shocking thing! They say Miss Smith has run

ts




















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“SOME OF THEM ARE VERY TARNISHED, YOU SEE.”

away.’ But the funniest thing was when Mrs.
Thompson was on a boating expedition on the
Seine. The machine altered it into im Seine, and

the report was that Mrs. Thompson was insane.”
Crities and They. 45



Olga could not help laughing. ‘ That was very
funny,’ she said.

“Tt was not very funny for Mrs. Thompson.
But we have had enough of the scandal machine.
Do you see those metal plates like shields hung up
over there ?”’

“Yes, what are they ?”’

“Those are people’s reputations; in some lights
you can see faces reflected in them. Some of them
are very tarnished, you see, that is because They
amuses himself by breathing on them.”

“ But why are some more tarnished than
others ?”’

‘“‘ Partly because some have been more breathed
on than others, partly because some are better able
to resist it.”

‘“‘How very strange it seems, though, for people’s
reputations to be made of metal.”

‘You have heard of people being on their mettle,
I suppose.”

‘‘Oh yes, often.”

“Then you know the origin of the expression.

It is when people are very anxious that their
46 Olga’s Dream.



reputation should not be injured that they are said
to be ‘on their mettle.’”’

“T shall always think of that when I hear the
expression in future.”

“Yes, it is worth remembering. But we had
better go. I see They through the window, and
he is coming this way.”

Olga looked out.

‘“¢T don’t see anyone,” she said.

“Tt is not likely you should,” said Dick. ‘‘ They
is not visible to ordinary eyes. History and I are
almost the only people who have seen him and who
recognise his work. But he will be really angry if
he finds out that I have been showing you his
machinery. Come along.” Dick seized hold of
Olga’s hand as he spoke, and the next moment she
felt herself being almost dragged out of the work-
shop and hurried on outside.

‘‘T should never have thought you would have
had so much power,” she said panting, when at
last Dick allowed her to stop.

‘Oh, [havea great deal,” said Dick, witha knowing

air. ‘ But now what would you like to do next ?”
Grities and They. 47



‘“T feel quite tired,” said Olga, ‘and should like
to rest a little first, if I may; and would you mind
telling me where we are and who that giant is who
seems to be the ruler of this part ?”

‘We are on the territory of Science, and that is
Science himself. We will go to him now, and he

shall tell you his history while you are resting.”




CHAPTER VI.

The Giant, Science.

HE figure whom Dick had called Science

was indeed of quite gigantic proportions,




and he was standing in the centre of his
territory with his hands in his pockets looking
about him with a very self-satisfied expression.

‘“‘T have brought someone to see you,” shouted
Dick, whose mouth was a long way from the
Giant’s ear, even when he stood on tip-toe. ‘She
is very anxious to make your acquaintance and
to hear your history.” .

“And what may She be?” said Science. ‘' You
know I am always very particular about definitions

and distinctions.”


: To \ . \

Sa \ WA Wak.
NSS AA
S SSSss SS





=

wc “hh

NAGE TO TOUCH THE

TIPS OF HIS FINGERS.”

‘OLGA COULD ONLY JUST MA
The Giant Scienee. 49



‘I can give you the definition, of course,” said
Dick, ‘but as for the distinction, I am afraid she
has not gained any yet. Have you?” he asked,
turning to Olga.

“T am afraid not,” she said, ‘but I hope in

”?

this Examination



‘Oh, never mind,’’ said Science, ‘‘ we won't
quarrel about it.”

‘And then,” said Dick, “it will be a distinction
without a difference.”

“But I should like your definition,” said Science.
“What is she?”

“She,” said Dick, ‘‘is a personal pronoun.”

“That will do,” said Science. ‘Now I know
what to call her. Personal Pronoun, how do you
do?” and an enormous hand was taken out of his
pocket and extended in the direction of Olga, who
could only just manage to touch the tips of the
fingers.

‘She is not big enough even to grasp my
hand,” said Science, and his huge sides shook
with laughter.

“But Iam quite big enough to hear what you
50 Olga’s Dream.



say,” said Olga boldly, ‘and I should like you to
tell me your history very much, but you need not
call me Personal Pronoun; it is not my name.”

‘Never mind,” whispered Dick, ‘‘ Personal
Pronoun is as good a name for him to call you by
as any other. He would not like to speak to you
by so small a word as She. He’s very fond of big
sounding words, is Science.”

‘What's all that you are talking about?” shouted
Science:

‘Oh, nothing,” said Dick, ‘“‘we are quite ready
to hear your history, so please begin.”

‘‘There’s nothing much to tell,” said Science,
“the most curious thing about me is my rapid
growth. I was neither very big nor very strong
as a child, and no one supposed I should ever be
a Giant, nor that I should ever attain to the
position I now hold. I was rather a troublesome
child and liked my own way, and I had a very
hard time of it on the whole. Some people con-
sidered me quite a dangerous character, even
when I was very young. Others thought me an

upstart, and did their best to crush me, many
The Giant Science. 51



laughed at me and said I should come to no good,
but I did not care for any one’s opinion; I hada
sort of feeling that I should be of importance some
day, and perhaps this feeling was encouraged by
the narrow escapes I had had in my infancy. The
nurse who had charge of me was very careless, and
more than once I was nearly strangled. Another
time she sat upon me, and if it had not been for
my strong will I should have been crushed to
death, but I made a great effort and screamed so
loudly that all the household came to see what
was the matter, and I was rescued. While | was
still very young, I chafed against restraint and at
last ran away, and ever since then I have had
more or less freedom, far more than any of my
relations or ancestors ever had. It was soon after
this that I commenced to grow amazingly fast.
In a very short time I became so big that my
former acquaintances hardly recognised me.”

“And yet,” said Olga, ‘I have heard people
speak of taking you up, and of dropping you.”

‘Tt only shows,” said Science, ‘‘ what nonsense

people will talk. Now that you have seen me, you
52 Olga’s Dream.



must see how absurd it is. Look,” he went on,
‘“‘at the size of my territory ; as far round as you
can see on every side is mine, but I want more
yet, and am constantly adding to it. But talking
of that reminds me to ask you if you know how to
annihilate space.”

‘‘ No, I don’t,” said Olga.

“Tt is very simple,” said Science. ‘‘ You have
only to heat the world with electricity, and then
there will be no such thing as cold, and con-
sequently no such thing as distance. Do you see?”

“No,” said Olga. ‘‘I don’t quite. I did not
know cold and distance were the same.”

‘‘ Nonsense,” said Dick. ‘You must often have
heard a distant manner called a cold manner, and
a cold manner a distant one.”

?

‘‘ Another object that I have in view,” continued
Science, ‘‘is to put the world right over the Darwin
Theory. It is marvellous, considering how short a
time he has been dead, that his meaning should
have been so perverted. It was all a printer’s

error, you know.”
“What was?”
The Giant Seience. 53



“Why, the descent of man. It ought to have
been from the Alpes, spelt French fashion, instead
of Apes, but by a stupid mistake the 1 was left out
in the original edition. Darwin’s theory was simply
that primitive man inhabited a lofty region of the
Alps. It was the wisest thing they could do.
They wanted elevating, and up there they had
plenty of space and plenty of air, which by the by
is the true meaning of our Airy Parent.”

‘“T thought it was Hairy Parent.”

“ Another vulgar error. But to continue. They |
liked being up there. It was convenient, it was out
of the way of wild animals, and in fact they had a
very happy, peaceful existence. You see they were
before the days of Alms and of Alpine Clubs, that
we know for a certainty, and from this fact we
reasonably infer that there was no warfare. But
at last the glacial period came on, and of course
they could not stand that; so they came down,
and there you get the ‘ Descent of Man.’”

Olga thought it sounded very simple.
“You would never imagine,” said Science, ‘that

human folly and human ingenuity could have
54 Olga’s Dream.



perverted such obvious truth into so strange and
grotesque a theory. But it is just like the human
intellect. Half my time is taken in unteaching
what has been learnt.”

‘¢ And when you have done that,” said Olga, ‘1
suppose people are untaught.”

Science looked at her suspiciously, but she so
evidently did not mean any offence that he took
no notice of her remark.

“Tf you like to come with me,” he said, after a
short pause, ‘‘I will introduce you to some of my
family. One of my residences is quite near. It is
not my best by any means, but I am obliged to some
extent to live there, and appear in it frequently.”

Olga declared she would be delighted, and
Science began to move, begging her and Dick to
follow him. They however soon found it impossible
to keep pace with him, and Dick was obliged to ask
him to move a little slower.

‘You take such tremendous strides nowadays,” he
said crossly, ‘‘there is no keeping up with you at all.”

Science again laughed till his huge frame shook,

but moderated his pace to theirs.
The Giant Science. 55



‘Oh! what an excellent joke to be sure,” he said.

“Have you forgotten how many races we have
had, and that I am always far ahead of you, and
you consequently far behind me? But never mind;
we'll let by-gones be by-gones.”

Turning a sudden corner, they now saw before
them a gay-looking house with many windows,
bearing over the door in large letters the inscription
“POPULAR LITERATURE.”

‘What a pretty house,” exclaimed Olga.

‘‘T don’t care for it much myself,” said Science.
“T prefer to be higher up, but I am gbliged to
come down to this sometimes.” |

‘It is very attractive,” whispered Dick, ‘‘to an
outside observer, but poorly furnished. You won't
find much in it.”

‘“You must be prepared for some very curious
things about it,’ said Science, as he opened the
door, which yielded at a slight touch. ‘‘It is quite
unlike any other house, partly owing to my own
arrangement. I will take you over it first if
you like.”

Olga was much struck by the size of the house
56 Olga’s Dream.

when she found herself inside. ‘I never thought
it would be so big,” she said.

2

“Yes, it is big,” said Science, ‘‘ but you see my
own size requires a large house, and there are a
number of other inhabitants. Don’t you notice
anything else peculiar about it?”

“Oh!” shrieked Olga, ‘‘ what is happening?
Am I giddy, or is it turning round, or what is it ?”

“Don’t be frightened,” said Science kindly.
“¢ You will soon be used to it. It is only the rapid
circulation that you feel.”

In a few minutes Olga did indeed lose the
curious feeling which she had experienced at first,
and was quite ready to follow Science over the
house.

‘‘TDown the passage,” he said, ‘‘are what we
call the Magazines. Have you heard of such a
thing before ?”

‘‘Not in connection with a house,” said Olga.
“But of course I have heard of a Powder
Magazine.”

“It is much the same thing,” said Science,

‘‘but there is this difference. A Powder Magazine
The Giant Seienee. 57



has to be kept dry, and that is just what these
magazines must not be. Look inside one.”

He opened a door near Olga, and she looked
inside. What she saw was a most dainty room,
it was pretty, it was bright, it was refreshing to the
eyes, it was artistic, but from the ceiling and the
walls exuded great drops of moisture which had
already begun to stain the furniture and spoil the
appearance of the whole.

‘You see,” said Science, ‘one of the results of
excluding dryness. That furniture has only been
there three weeks, and in another week it will have
to be removed and fresh put. If we leave it longer,
it will become stale and musty, and no one will look
at it. That isa Magazine in which I frequently
appear. Here is another which I less frequently
patronise.” He threw open another door, and
Olga saw a room less prettily furnished, and with
what appeared to be pots of growing corn placed
round it.

“You see,” said Science, ‘‘that that one is
full of serials. I need not take you below,” he

continued, as they moved away. ‘You know
EB
58 Olga’s Dream.



what is underneath these rooms, of course.”

‘“T don’t think so,” said Olga, wondering how
she should be likely to.

‘Why the sellers, of course. They support the
whole thing, and overhead is a department in-
habited principally by Fiction, but I also put in an
appearance there occasionally.”

‘“‘ And what is that part called?” asked Olga.

‘The upper stories. But now will you come to
the Nursery? I am sorry that my wife is out, but
some of the children are at home.”’ :

‘‘ May I ask who your wife is?” said Olga shyly.
She was not sure if the question were quite polite,
but she had never heard of a Mrs. Science, and did
so much want to know. To her relief, Science did
not seem to object to the enquiry at all.

‘“ My wife is Dame Nature,” he said pleasantly.
‘She is a dear creature, but very reserved. She
keeps all her secrets for me, which of course is as
it should be, but lately she has become almost
too shy. She thinks people don’t lke her, and
she hardly ever appears alone. If Iam not able to

go out with her, she takes Art, our eldest daughter.”’
The Giant Seience. 59



They had gone down another passage as he
spoke, and now Olga found herself in an enormous
nursery, where several children were amusing
themselves.

‘Come here, Telegraphy,” cried Science to one,
and a tall, slim youth advanced with a rapid gliding
movement from the other end of the room.

‘This is one of my sons,” he said to Olga.
“ He has not much brain,” he added in a whisper,
‘and helps me very little, but I use him for
_ messages, and in that way he is very useful, though
already his little brother Telephone is far quicker
at the same thing. This is Microscope, one of
my special pets,’”’ he continued, pointing to a very
bright-looking little girl. ‘‘She is so small and
delicate that I can carry her in my pocket, but
equally clever and precise. I use her to look for
things, and there is hardly anything escapes her,
however small. Besides which, when I am at
work, she has learnt to hold a lantern in sucha
way as to throw light on everything. I am sorry
my elder son Telescope is out to-day. He is

clumsy, poor fellow, and does not improve much,
60 Olga’s Dream.



but he does very good work, and is extremely far-
seeing. Now you must see my babies. These
two sweet little twins are still too young and weak
to be of much use, but I am very fond of them.
Come here Phonograph and Microphone.”

Two beautifully-formed little creatures trotted up.

“They are both wonderful children,’ said
Science, with paternal pride, ‘‘and I do hope I
shall be able to train them to something useful.
At present, while they are still so to speak in their
infancy, one cannot be much surprised at their
being more ornamental. They both, however, have
the same talent for recitation; they will repeat
anything. Phonograph does it the best though,”
he continued, caressing the little creature fondly,
‘‘because she never minds how often she says a
thing, and retains everything. Poor Microphone,
I fear, will never make much use of her talent.
She magnifies every task you give her, and though
she can repeat anything after you, she cannot
retain it’ But dear me,” he added, looking out of
the window, ‘‘ Time is flying, and I must really

ask you to excuse me.”
The Giant Seience. 61



‘© Good-bye,” said Olga, ‘‘and thank you very
much.”

“Come along, come along,” whispered Dick,
who, unnoticed by Olga, had followed her into
the Nursery, ‘there is something I wish you

to see.”




CHAPTER VII.

AS Race against Time.

HAT is it?” asked Olga, as soon as they

were outside.



‘Did you not hear him say that Time









| ~ CF
was flying?” said Dick. ‘I thought if we were very
quick, we might be able to see him doit, and that it

would be rather fun. Ah! there he is. Come along.”
BR Race against Time. 63



He seized Olga by the hand and hurried her
on at a breathless speed, but just when she was
beginning to pant out that she could go no further,
he stopped.

“We have caught him up at last,” he said, ‘‘but
I am afraid you won’t see him fly now. He seems
to be going on with his ordinary hum-drum
occupation.”

Olga sank on the ground quite worn out.

“Oh dear,” she exclaimed, ‘what a race I
have had!”

“So you are one of my enemies, too?” said a
high-pitched voice beside her.

Olga started. ‘ Indeed I am not,” she said,
turning in the direction of the voice, and perceiving
an old man with long grey hair, and a pair of
shears with which he was clipping the hedge.
“Are you Time ?” she asked.

“Yes,” was the melancholy reply, ‘1 am Time.”

“ And why are you clipping the “hedge ?” asked
Olga.

‘To cut it short, of course.”

“Why!” exclaimed Olga, ‘that ts just what
64 Olga’s Dream.



you did to one of my examination papers.”

“I daresay,” said Time. “It is one of my
most usual occupations, and I do it to all sorts of
things ; but if you want to talk to me you had better
walk by my side and keep pace with me. I can’t
stand still, and youwon’t find it easyto catch me up.”

Olga rose to obey him.

‘“What a funny trio we are,” she thought, as
she trudged along with the strange old figure of
Time on one side, and that of her queer little
friend Dick on the other.

‘‘ It is ofno use for you to say that you are not
one of my enemies,’’ said the old fellow, still care-
fully clipping the hedge, ‘when you have just
admitted that you have had a race against me.”

‘But I never meant any harm by that,” said
Olga. ‘I only thought that you were flying, and
that I had better make haste,” she added, rather
inconsequently.

“But you know,” said Time reproachfully,
“that you have been working against me. If that
is not being my enemy, what is?”

“I was rather pressed in my examination,
A Race against Time. 65



certainly,” said Olga, ‘‘and perhaps I did work

”

against Time. But



“Qh don’t make any excuses,” said Time
bitterly. ‘I am used to being hated and abused.
Many people would kill me if they could. Have
you not heard them talk about trying to kill Time?”

“Well, perhaps I have, but I don’t think they
really mean it.”

“ But they do though. They consider me their
greatest enemy. ‘How goes the enemy?’ they say,
and that means me. They are always finding fault
with me. Some say I go too fast, and others that I
go too slowly ; some that I am too short, and others
that Iamtoolong. Others not content to abuse me
put their ill-feeling into practice. They beat me and
mark me, and it is of no use for me to try and escape,
for then they keep me, and to add insult to injury
call me ‘good’ and ‘perfect.’ You see how, thin I
am,” he went on, ‘‘that is because I am so wasted.
It is a miserable life I lead.”

‘It seems to me that everyone is more or less
miserable here,” said Olga, with a sigh and thinking
of X and History.
66 Olga’s Dream.



‘‘No one is so miserable as I am,” said Time,
shaking his grey locks; ‘though people never
will believe it. ‘It’s high time,’ they say, when it
is really low Time, or ‘ Time’s up’ when I feel
very down. But talking to you won’t make it any
better, so good-bye.”

Olga felt herself dismissed, and turned to leave
him.

‘‘T am afraid he has depressed you,” said Dick,
as they watched his melancholy figure clipping the
hedge with never-ceasing activity, while he moved
on down the long lane in front of them. ‘ But
come in here and you will find something so
interesting that you will soon lose sight of him.”
He pointed as he spoke to a low building on

their left.




CHAPTER VIII.

The Tost {eanings.

they approached the building, Olga

noticed two children, evidently brother



and sister, walking along hand in hand
with downcast eyes, as if searching for something.

“We shall never find them, I knowwe never shall,”
the boy was saying with a sob as they drew near.

“What is it you are looking for?” said Olga,
touched by his evident distress.

‘For the meaning of some poems,” said the
girl, who seemed the elder of the two. ‘We can’t
find them at all, and we have looked so hard.”

‘Ves,’ chimed in the boy, ‘‘and father says we

must not go home until we see them.”
68 Olga’s Dream.



‘“Perhaps they are not here at all,” suggested
Olga. |

‘‘But they must be,” said the little boy, ‘‘because
we have to find them out, and this is out, isn’t it?”

‘“We thought,” said his sister, “that we had
caught sight of them just now, but they disappeared



y
Uy wy i
|



‘WE SHALL NEVER FIND THEM.”

again at once, and it is so difficult to trace them.”

‘‘T don’t believe there ave any meanings,” her
brother began with a sob, but just then he caught
sight of Dick’s kindly old face, and his own
suddenly brightened.
The Lost Meanings. 69



“ Oh! please sir,” he cried, running up to him
and taking hold of his hand, “can you help us!
You look as if you might be able to do so.”

“Tt is very likely,” said Dick, with an en-
couraging smile, ‘‘for as it happens, my little
man, you have come to just the very best person
to help you ina search for meanings. But first
we must hear the poems.”

“You begin,” said the little boy, giving his
sister a push, and the little girl folded her hands

and recited the following :—

THE EMPTY MILL.

There once was a Mill

On the top of a hill,

With which there was this fault to find,
That the whole of the day

It would motionless stay ;

’Twas a mill which never would grind.

They pumped and they thumped,
They stumped and they bumped,

They endeavoured to make it go round.
They toiled and they moiled,

They oiled and they boiled,

In vain, for the mill never ground.
7O

Olga’s Dream.



Then they hired several fellows
With huge pairs of bellows

To poff at the mill night and day,

To push it and press it,
To curse it and bless it,

And make it go round the right way.

Soon they cried out ‘* What luck!”
For the sails which had stuck

To race round at last had begun:

And they said, “‘ Now, who’s master? ”
And worked them still faster,

Till quicker than ever they spun.

Then the Millers came fast,

For they said, “‘ Now, at last,

We shall have a fine harvest of flour;
Oh! open the mill,

Our sacks we will fill,

And sell it for bread in an hour.”

But one slight mistake

All these people did make,

And great was the blow to their pride,
For they found to their pain

They’d forgotten the grain—

And the mill had had nothing inside.


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“THEN THEY HIRED SEVERAL FELLOWS
WITH HUGE PAIRS OF BELLOWS.”
The Lost Meanings. 71



‘‘ The meaning of that is very easy to see,”’ said
Dick, when she had finished. ‘All you want is
a pair of spectacles which I will lend you, and
then it will become quite clear.” He drew a large
spectacle case out of his pocket as he spoke, and
took from it a pair of spectacles, which he handed
the little girl. ‘Now look before you,” he said,
‘and tell me what you see.”

The child looked on the groundandread. ‘‘You .
can’t get anything out where there is nothing in.”

“Oh! thank you so much,” she a“ clapping
her hands, ‘‘it is quite easy to see.’

‘And now,” said Dick, ‘‘let the little bape give
us his poem, and then lend him the glasses and
see if he can find a meaning too.” |

The little boy came forward rather shyly and
recited the following :—

THE CATS’ CONCERT.
A household of cats
Caught mice and caught rats,
And made that their principal calling,
Till they heard one fine day,

From over the way,

A cat who was singing (or squalling).
72

Olga’s Dream.



Then nothing would do,

But these cats said they, too,

Must have lessons in music so thrilling,
And they hired a tom-cat, ~
Clad in boots and top-hat,

To teach them—two hours for a shilling.

Then cats, black and tabby,
Cats neat, and cats shabby,
Assembled to hear them perform.
Mrs. Sandy sang first,

A song much rehearsed,

And received of applause quite a storm.

Some said, ‘“‘ What a treat!”
And others, ‘“‘ How sweet!”
And others, “‘That last note, how true!”

‘Some cried, ‘‘’Tis entrancing,

We'll join in with dancing,”
While others said nothing but “ Mew.”

Next old Mr. Muff,

In a voice slightly gruff,

Sang a sweet serenade in A minor;

It moved some to tears, ,

They declared it was years

Since they’d listened to one which was finer.












‘(THEY HIRED A TOM-CAT,
CLAD IN BOOTS AND TOP-HAT.”
The Lost Meanings. 73



And a bashful young cat
Pitched her voice on B flat,
And warbled a sad little ditty,
While playing the harp

In the key of F sharp,

Which was novel at least, if not pretty.

And the tenor and bass

_ Each rose in his place,

And no one could say which was flatter ;
As they could not agree,

Each chose his own key—

Such a detail could surely not matter!

Then the altos took leave

In a recitative,

While the trebles were trilling and shaking,
And the bass sang one note,

Very deep in his throat,

In a way which was really most taking.

The concert then ended,

And voices were blended

In thanking the cats every one;
When—rat-a-tat-tan, ,
And in came a man,

Which at once put a stop to the fun.
74 Olga’s Dream.



He said, ‘‘ Pray, sit down,”

Then looked round with a frown,
And added, “‘ Of course this is nice,
To teach cats to sing

Is an excellent thing,

But who is to kill all the mice?”

When he had finished, his sister handed him
the spectacles, and he immediately read on the
ground,

‘“We need the useful as well as the ornamental.”

“Oh thank you, thank you,” cried both children,
covering Dick’s hand with kisses.

‘‘ And now trot home,” said. Dick kindly, ‘‘ and
remember to turn to me the next time you are in
any difficulty of the kind.”

The happy little pair did his bidding, and Dick
led Olga to the door of the building she had

noticed before.




CHAPTER IX.

The (Ehildren’s” Dinner.

HAT is happening?” said Olga, as they

entered, and she saw a number of children



seated at a long table.

‘It is only some children having their dinner,”
replied Dick, ‘but it is a very different sort of
meal to what you usually call dinner, and it may
interest you to watch them at it. They have not
begun yet.” |

“What sort of dinner do they have then?”
asked Olga. ‘Is there more than one dish on the
same day?”

“More than one dish on the same day! I

should think there is. One of the peculiarities of
76 Olga’s Dream.



the diet here is that no one is allowed to eat more
than a very little bit of anything. As soon asa
child begins to enjoy a dish he is given another,
and they have the most extraordinary mixtures—
things dry, and hard, and tough, and sweet, dishes
deep and dishes shallow, fragments and large
pieces are all served promiscuously.”

‘‘ And do they really enjoy it?”

“ Yes, they really do here. But then this is
considered a model place, and children who do not
like the fare provided, are not admitted if it can
be helped. All places of the kind are not like this
one. But look, they are going to begin.”

At that moment a bell was rung loudly, and at
once the children became as grave and silent as
possible.

‘They are not allowed to talk during their
meals,” whispered Dick. ‘Here come the dishes.”
A: number of young men and women came into the
room as he spoke, carrying a quantity of small
dishes, which they proceeded to place on the table,
and then to serve the children from their contents.

It took some time to provide them all with their
The Ghildren’s Dinner. 77



dinner, but all seemed admirably arranged, and
there was no confusion. The children began
silently to eat in what seemed to Olga a most
solemn and business-like manner, while the servants,
for such she concluded they were, waited upon
them, serving them to fresh pieces when they
thought well, cutting up the meat of the younger
ones, and often feeding them. Olga was surprised
to see what big children seemed to be unable to
manage all this for themselves, but when she
remarked on it to Dick, he smiled and told her
to go nearer and see what kind of food they had.

‘You may speak to them,” he said. ‘‘ Visitors
are allowed to ask questions.”

Near to Olga was a little group of boys who
were apparently struggling painfully to cut up and
afterwards to masticate their portion of food. One
of the servants every now and then whispered
what appeared to be a few words of advice to
them, occasionally bending forward to show them
how to manage and what pieces to take.

“May I ask what you are eating?” said Olga

politely.
78 Olga’s Dream.



“*Bacon,” said one bright-looking boy. ‘‘ We
have pieces of Bacon to-day.”

‘Tt is not like any bacon I have ever seen
before,” said Olga.

‘‘ Have you never seen it before?” said the boy,
in a surprised tone of voice. ‘‘It is Francis Bacon,
not Roger, you know.”

‘““T never heard of such a dish,” said Olga,
feeling quite confused, ‘‘but I have heard of the
man.” |

‘““That’s it,” said the boy, struggling to cut off
apiece. ‘Jt is the same thing, you know.”

‘You seem to find it difficult to cut,” said Olga.

‘Yes, it is a bit tough, but we like it,” was the
cheerful reply. ‘It is no good giving one anything
too tender, you know, not now that we are getting
older. There’s no fun in eating tender things.”

‘“ Have the younger ones more tender food
then ?”’

‘Oh, dear me, yes, those little ones at the other
end of the table are fed partly on fancy dishes,
and don’t they just enjoy them. Why they’ve

‘never had enough.”
The Ghildren’s Dinner. 79



‘And you used to be fed like that once, I
suppose.”

‘““Yes, when I was little too, but 1 was very
tired of it long ago.”

‘“‘ And are you never tired of what they give you
now?” asked Olga, but her informant had just
succeeded in severing a piece of Bacon, and his
mouth was. so full he could not reply. Olga waited
a minute, but finding that he showed no signs of
answering, turned away and walked to the other
end of the table where the younger children were
seated. The dear little things looked as happy
and bright as children could, and were evidently
thoroughly enjoying their dinner.

‘Please, please, some more,” one of them was
saying in an entreating voice.

“Well, just one more, and that must be all
to-day,” said the attendant, and helped the child
to something from the dish.

?

‘Give me another, too, please,” said another
child, and was helped to some more by the same
attendant, who then cut up the food and fed the

two children in turn.
80 Olga’s Dream.



‘‘ What is it you are eating ?” said Olga. “ You
seem to enjoy it very much.”

But the two children had their eyes fixed on their
dinner, and did not appear to hear the question.

‘It is Lamb’s Tales they are having to-day,”
said the servant, answering for them.

‘The name sounds familiar to me,” said Olga,
trying to recollect where she had lately heard it.
It suddenly occurred to her that she was thinking
of ‘‘Lamb’s Tales from Shakespere.”’

‘‘But do they never have anything lighter than
that ?” she asked.

‘Tt is the very lightest thing provided. here,’
said the attendant, ‘“‘ but our children would turn
up their noses at anything lighter. What some
people would consider dainties, are only given to
them as punishment when they have done anything
wrong.”

‘“And what,” asked Olga, ‘‘ may these punish-
ment dishes be ?”

‘““ Every sort of game, whipped top ——”

‘“Whipped top!” interposed Olga, “I don’t
think I ever tasted that.”
The Ghildren’s Dinner. 81



‘‘ Surely,” said the attendant, with a half pitying
smile.

An idea struck Olga, ‘‘I daresay it is another
name for whipped cream,” she said, ‘“‘ and you call
it top because it is skimmed off the top of milk.”

‘“‘T hardly think so,” said the attendant. ‘‘ No
skimming is allowed here, and cream has to be
fresh while this is always turned. But it does not
much matter. Another punishment dish is ice-pie.
You have heard of that, of course.”

“T spy! Yes, I have heard of that; it isa game.”

‘“Not the kind we have here, nor is it a sweet,
as you might imagine. It is of course very cold,
and it is considered bitter. There is no punish-
ment the children dislike somuch. That little boy
over there in the corner has it to-day, because he
refused his dinner yesterday.”

Olga turned her eyes in the direction indicated,
and could hardly refrain from laughing. There sat
asmall boy by himself, in front of him an enormous
pie, from which at regular intervals he took a.
mouthful. Each time he did so he gave utterance

to the words ‘‘Ice-pie, ice-pie,” in a dull monotonous.
82 Olga’s Dream.



voice, but the funniest part was to see the peculiar
nervous starts and jumps he gave every time he

put one of the cold morsels in his mouth.















































Irvin
alk







“ICE-PIE, ICE-PIE,”

‘‘Ffe will never get through it,” thought Olga,
‘unless someone. helps him.”

‘‘ Do the elder children have punishment dishes
The Ghildren’s Dinner. 83



too?’’ she asked, turning to the attendant.

‘“ Certainly, cooked leap-frog is one that is often
given, and preserved cricket another.”

“T thought,” said Olga, “that it was only in
France that they eat frogs, and I never heard of
crickets being eaten anywhere.”’

‘But they are here asa punishment. Bats are
also often served.”

‘You mean balls,’”’ said Olga, thinking of tennis.

‘‘ No, it is bats which are served here, but they
are never served without a bawl, certainly. You
should hear the sounds of dismay the children make
when they are forced to take one.”

“And what,” asked Olga, ‘‘are the principal
faults for which they are punished ?”

‘At first it is generally that they will not eat
enough, but lately we have been obliged to introduce
a punishment for over-eating. They are all so fond .
of the fare provided, that it is very difficult to stop
them; and, of course, ifthey eat too much, the results
are bad. Several illnesses have been caused by it.”

“What kind of illnesses generally ? Do they

suffer from fever?”
84 Olga’s Dream.



‘‘Sometimes there is fever, but as a rule the
victims are amazingly cool, and in fact one of the
symptoms is known as sang-froid. Other symptoms
are swelling, puffing-up and a curious affection of
the sight, which causes everyone to appear to the
sufferer as smaller than himself. The treatment is
peculiar. The patient who, to begin with, is stuck
up at a great height from the ground, is taken down
a peg or two every day, until at last he finds
himself on a level with other people. Cold water
is also thrown over him freely, and he is allowed to
eat so little that at last he feels quite small. The
great danger from such an attack is the effect it
has on the head. You see that youth over there.
He is suffering from a mild attack. Do you not
notice something peculiar about his head ?”

“Tt is twisted round.”

‘Yes, his head is turned, but we have taken him
in hand at once, and hope soon to cure him. I
have known some cases so bad that the head was
lost, and that, of course, is very serious. It is a
good deal worse to lose your head than to lose an

arm or a leg.”
The Children’s Dinner. 85



Olga was so much interested in all this, that she
was about to ask more questions, but the faithful
Dick warned her that she had been long enough in

that part of the room, and she moved towards the



























“SUFFERING FROM A MILD ATTACK.”

other end of the table. About half-way up, she
noticed a pale miserable-looking little fellow who

appeared to have struggled with his food in vain,
G
86 Olga’s Dream.



and to have given up trying to eat anything, as he
was sitting back in his chair gazing with a mournful
expression at his untasted dinner. His melancholy ~
expression struck her with so much pity, that she
stopped to speak to him.

‘Can you not manage your dinner ?”’ she said.

‘‘No, I never can manage it here,” was the sad
reply. ‘‘ Everything that they give us is so hard,
and I do not like it.”

‘And will they be angry with you for leaving it?”

“Oh yes, if they notice it, they will. I am
always falling into disgrace for not eating my
dinner.”’

“Poor boy,” said Olga, ‘‘ but the others all
seem to enjoy their food,” and she turned to the
next boy, who was apparently eating his dinner
with a good appetite.

‘Are those turnips you are eating?” she said,
addressing him.

‘Oh no,” said the boy, with alaugh. ‘ They
are not turnips, though they are roots too.”

A sudden remembrance flashed across Olga’s

PB)

mind. ‘J think I know,” she said. ‘Are they
The Ghildren’s Dinner. 87

not the roots I saw the Philologists digging ?”

‘“These are not, but those boys opposite have
Greek roots, which I daresay are what you mean.
These are square roots and cube roots, and the
small pieces are fractions—decimal fractions, of
course, I mean. That boy opposite is so low that
he is content with vulgar fractions and common
measure, but he has not been here long, and I
daresay his taste will improve by-and-bye.”

Olga was more and more astonished at all she
had seen.

‘“‘ Tt seems to me,” she said, when she returned
to Dick, ‘that eating is real hard work here, and
that what you call dinner we should call lessons.”

‘You may call it what you like,” said Dick.
‘The name won’t make any difference. But look,
they have finished, and are all going into the play-
room ; we will wait till they have passed and then
go too.” |

‘““T should like very much to see what kind of
play they have,” said Olga.

‘“They are going to listen to a story, and then

have some recitations, I believe, to-day,” said Dick,
88 Olga’s Dream.



as the children trooped past them into a room
beyond. When the last had gone by, Olga and
Dick followed, and on entering found that the
children had all taken their places in a semi-circle
at one end of the room, while facing them stood
a tall, shabbily-dressed young man, with a keen,
clever face.

‘Who is that ?””’ said Olga.

‘‘ That is Invention. But hush, he is about to

. ae ”
begin his story.






CHAPTER X.

Little” Bia e~ Pachelor - (ood.

WHERE was once,” began Invention, ‘“‘a
little girl called Blue-Bachelor-Hood.

That wasn’t her real name, but she was




called Blue because she was blue, and Bachelor
Hood because she wore a cloak with a hood to it
like the hoods which are worn by people who take
their degree at a University. ‘She will be obliged
to wear one some day,’ her mother would say
proudly, ‘so she may as well begin now and get
accustomed to it.’ And the name of little Blue-
Bachelor-Hood stuck to her until her real name
was almost forgotten, but people called her Hoodie

forshort. Hoodie’s mother wasa very hard-working,
go Olga’s Dream.



industrious woman, whose name was Mrs. High-
school, and not far from her lived Hoodie’s Grand-
mother, Mrs. Schoolexam. One fine afternoon,
Hoodie’s mother told her that she wished her to go
to her Grandmother and take a little present from
her, and Hoodie assented gladly, for though many
people thought Mrs. Schoolexam a formidable
person, little Hoodie liked her very much, and
always answered all her questions without any fear.
So her Mother brought a little basket, and into
it she put the presents which Hoodie was to take
to the old lady. First came some slices of rather
stale cake. ‘Your Grandmother likes everything
cut and dry,’ said her mother, as she put them in;
then a little pat of butter, very smoothly made and
with no ornamentation, ‘and very pat,’ she re-
marked. To these she added a jar of golden honey
quite free from the comb, ‘and perfectly clear,’ said
Hoodie’s mother again, holding it up to the light,
and on the top of these she put a very few ordinary
wild flowers and herbs which Hoodie looked at
with contempt. ‘They are not very pretty,’ she
said. ‘No,’ replied her mother, ‘but Grandmother
Little Blue-Bachelor-~Hood. QI



prefers what will be useful to her, and likes common
flowers the best. She is not very fond of culture.’
She then tied on her little daughter’s cloak and
hood, gave her the basket, and told her to go.
‘And mind,’ she called after her, ‘that you do not
leave the beaten track, and that you are quick, or
Grandmother will not be pleased with you.’

“The way to her Grandmother’s house lay through
a wood, and Hoodie ran gaily along, keeping, as her
mother had told her, to the beaten track, and full
of excitement at the prospect of her visit. By-and-
bye a voice accosted her, and Hoodie found that a
very strong, pleasant-looking man hademerged some-
where from the forest and was walking by her side.

“Who are you, my little girl?’ he asked.

‘“* Hoodie told him.

‘“«« And where do you live ?’

‘“¢ In the Nineteenth Century,’ said Hoodie.

“ place for a little girl at all.’

“¢T)on’t you live there too?’ asked the child. She
felt no fear of her unknown companion, and thought

him very easy to get on with.
92 Olga’s Dream.



‘““‘T am there a little,’ he replied. ‘In fact some
people have found a place for me in the most
modern part of the town, and I believe I have given
satisfaction. But now, little girl, tell me where you
are going.’

‘““«To Grandmother Schoolexam,’ said the child,
‘to take her a little present from my mother, Mrs.
Highschool.’

‘““«Then I must say good-bye,’ said the stranger
hurriedly. ‘My name is Mr. Healthy Recreation,
and I am afraid your Grandmother will not like it
if she hears I have spoken to you. She will say I
have stopped your progress. Good-bye,’ and he
disappeared into the Forest.

‘He had not gone long when Hoodie was again
accosted. ‘This time it was an enormous wolf who
spoke to her, and Hoodie felt very frightened at
first, but the animal spoke very kindly to her, and
told her she need not be alarmed, and after asking
her where she was going, he hurried away. So
Hoodie ran on in good spirits until she reached her
Grandmother's cottage. She knocked at the door,

and a voice inside said, ‘Push forward, and you
Little Blue-~-Bachelor-Hood. 93



will find you can get through,’ and Hoodie pushed
against the door and found it yielded to her touch.
Inside was her Grandmother in bed, and very
much wrapped up.

‘©¢Oh dear,’ cried Hoodie, ‘what is the matter
with you, Grannie? Have youa cold?’

‘““«Ves,’ was the reply. ‘I have a bad attack of
Rheumatism. J am dreadfully stiff, Hoodie.’

“«T am very sorry to hear it,’ said the child,
beginning to feel frightened. ‘Why, Granny,’ she
exclaimed, going nearer the bed, ‘how bright
your eyes are.’

“« The better to see through you with, Hoodie.’

‘*¢ And how long your ears are.’

‘“« «Yes,’ said the Grandmother, ‘I intend to give
you a long hearing.’

“And oh! Granny,’ cried the now really
frightened child, ‘how sharp and white your teeth
are.’

“Yes, my child, to show you how to grind,’
said the false Grandmother, springing out of bed
and revealing the form of the wolf. ‘Ah! little

Blue-Bachelor-Hood, I have you in my clutches
94 Olga’s Dream.



now,’ he cried. ‘My name is Public Examination,
and I have swallowed up poor little Schoolexam
and taken her place.’

“The frightened child made a rush for the door,
but the wolf, now looking terribly fierce and for-
midable, barred the way. ‘You will never pass
me Hoodie,’ he exclaimed.

‘The poor child’s last chance seemed gone, and
she thought her fate was sealed, but at that
moment there was a crash, the door was broken in,
and Mr. Healthy Recreation sprang through it.
With one blow he laid the wolf at the feet of
Hoodie. ‘You would never have passed him
without me,’ he said, as the grateful child clung to
him and covered him with kisses. ‘What a mercy
it was that you met with me on your way. I kept
you in sight, and when the wolf spoke to you, I
knew the danger you were in. He is the torment
of most of the children who live near you.’

‘““*Oh,’ sobbed Hoodie. ‘How pleased dear
Mother will be when she knows I am safe.’

“And that, dear children, is the story of little
Blue-Bachelor-Hood.”


py o te “2 2

os)
a fiP Acco tek ,



CHAPTER XI.

A. Bataa and its (Consequences.

HE children seemed much impressed with




this story, but Olga felt inclined to laugh.

“Tt is only ‘ Little Red-Riding-Hood,’
rather altered,” she said to Dick. ‘‘I should have
thought Invention would have found something
newer than that.”

“The great power of Invention,” said Dick,
‘lies in his new application of old things, but hush!
he is speaking again.”

‘lave you anything of your own composition to
recite?” Invention was saying, as he looked at
the children beneath him, whereupon to everyone’s
surprise the pale-faced boy, whose struggles with

his dinner Olga had pitied, rose.
g6 Olga’s Dream.



‘“‘T have,” he said simply.

‘* You,” exclaimed Invention. ‘ Why you are
quite a new-comer. I did not think you knew
me yet.”

‘‘T know your mother intimately,” said the boy.
“ That’s nearly as good, is 1t not ?”’

‘““To be sure, to be sure,” said Invention hurriedly,
and with some traces of confusion in his manner.
‘“* Pray begin.”

‘‘ Who is his mother ?”’ whispered Olga.

‘“‘ Necessity, of course,’’ whispered Dick back.
‘* You surely have heard that before.”

“T think I have,” said Olga, ‘‘but I cannot
remember where.” And she found herself murmur-
ing, ‘‘ Necessity is the mother of Invention—
Necessity is the mother of Invention,”’—until Dick
gave her a nudge, and told her to pay attention,
as the recitation was beginning.

The following was what the pale-faced boy

recited :—
They say I must now let them cram
All the learning they can in my head,
Or else I shall fail in Exam.,
And then all my chances are fled.
A Ballad and its Consequences. 97



If I ask what those chances may be,
They reply with a bland sort of smile,
‘* Some day you may be an M.P.,

And ride in your carriage in style.

‘There is Johnson, whose father cuts hair
For the people who live in his town,
While he is elected the Mayor,

And wears a gold chain and a gown.

‘‘ There is Sarah, whose mother makes beds,
Whose aunt has a place as a cook;

By the learning we cram into heads,
She was able to bring out a book.

“‘There is Thompson, whose father ploughs fields,
In ignorance gloomy and dark,
By the fruits which much studying yields,

He is starving to-day as a Clerk.

‘“‘ There is Clara, whose father mends shoes,
Whose mother does housework all day,
While she is the bluest of blues,
And has taken the stiffest B.A.”

Then I asked if they went on as now,
And only taught learning from books,
Who they’d find all their meadows to plough,
And what they would do for their cooks.
98

Olga’s Dream.



_ Quite a sensation ensued on the conclusion of
this recitation; some of the children hissed, some
clapped, some shouted, and all the attendants
rushed in and began to talk at once, and in the

midst of this tumult Dick dragged Olga outside.

as soon as she could make him hear.

“‘ But think,” they with ecstasy said,
‘“« By teaching the millions some art,
We may have, when the ages have sped,
A Raphael, a Scott, a Mozart!”

But ’tis poor consolation to me,

Who am given the present to mourn,
To think of the wonders to be,

When I shall be long dead and gone.

For mine’s a mere average brain,
And the one thing I want in my head,
Is something to help me explain

The problem of earning my bread.

I might earn a respectable wage,
A success I might well hope to be,
If as ploughboy or groom I engage, _
I should fail as a Mayor or M.P.

‘What are they all so excited about ?” she said,
“ T thought

it was a very nice poem.”
A Ballad and its Gonsequenees. 99



“‘T was afraid you would, and that is why I have
brought you away. You would have expressed
some such opinion, and we might have got into as
hot water as the boy himself will.”

“Will they be very angry with him?”

“Of course they will. He had no business to
speak like that without the aid of Invention.”

‘What do you suppose his punishment will be?”

‘* A second course of dinner, probably.”

‘‘T wish they would expel him,” exclaimed Olga.
‘He will never be happy there. Iam sure the food
they give him is not at all suited to his constitution.”

‘‘ Oh well, never mind him any more. We will
go to the Fool’s Paradise. I am sure you will
find it more amusing.”

“What is the Fool’s Paradise ?”

“You will seé soon. It is a funny place, and
the funniest thing about it is that it should be
situated where it is, in the very middle of the Field
of Learning. But first of all I think you had better
look in here.”” He pointed to an opening to the
left, and Olga saw what looked like a winding path

between some rocks.
TOO Olga’s Dream.



“Will you go through it?” said Dick. “It is
rather difficult to find your way, but if you are in
any difficulty, let me know, and I will come to
your aid.”

‘Is it a sort of labyrinth?” said Olga, looking
in a little anxiously.

‘““No, no, it is only a passage, a German one,”
said Dick. ‘“ Are you afraid to try it?”

‘Not a bit,” said Olga, ‘I think I shall be able
to get through it very well.’

“Well try,” said Dick, ‘only notice any land-
marks you can very carefully, you may be glad to
have done so before you reach the other end.”

The passage was indeed not so straight-forward
as it looked at first sight, and soon Olga found
that she was turning and twisting about in it
without getting any further.

‘““Come backto the beginning,” shouted Dick, who
was watching her from outside, ‘and try again.”

Olga slowly retraced her steps, but this time, after
making better progress as she thought for a little
time, she suddenly found herself brought to a

standstill against a barrier of rock.
A Ballad and its Consequences. I01



“Ah,” shouted Dick, ‘‘ you have met with a
stumbling block, have you not ?”
Olga wrung her hands. ‘‘I am quite confused,”

she shouted back, ‘‘and this is a horrid place to

stick at. Can’t i ye you help me
\ a ‘i at once,” said
\ OT few moments he

Wg ‘\ am not really

fi

out?”





Ni

G
“te {Vy 4
Raa |

i NN
om N

. | | but I think I

for this place,”




he said, ‘you ty oughtto have my

cousin - german,

canhelp youthis

He touched
spoke, and to
surprise, it im-

way and dis-

aged to squeeze



time.”

% the rock as he

Olga’s intense
mediately gave
closed a narrow

which she man-

herself.

‘* And now,” said Dick, after they had advanced

a few steps, ‘‘we have reached the end of the

passage. Look round you, and see if you recognize

any of it.”

H
102 Olga’s Dream.



Why !” exclaimed Olga, ‘‘there is the very
place Icame inat. We have only returned to the
starting point after all.”

Dick gave one of his funny chuckles.

“Oh, Olga, Olga,” he said, ‘don’t you see
what it really is? Don’t you understand that in
passages of this sort the best plan is to begin at
the end, and that is what you have actually done?”

“ But,” said Olga, ‘‘if you begin at the end,
surely the end becomes the beginning.”

‘‘ Exactly,” said Dick, ‘‘ and therefore there
seems no end to it.”

Olga gave a little gasp. ‘1 may be very glad to
be out of it then,” she said; ‘‘I] might have gone
on in it for ever.”

‘But also,” he went on, ‘if the end is the
beginning the beginning is also the end, so there-
fore there is no beginning, neither is there any
middle, because a middle is what lies between the
beginning and the end, and as there is neither begin-
ning nor end, there can be nothing lying between
them. So you see the German passage has neither

parts nor magnitude, and is therefore a point.”
A Ballad and its Consequenees. 103



‘‘T thought it was several lines,” said Olga.

‘That was your mistake. As I say, it was a
point, and you missed it.”

‘¢T wish I had known this when I was in for the
Examination,” said Olga, whose mind had wandered
back to that.

“Tt is too late to trouble about it now,” said Dick,
‘“so let us go on to the Fool’s Paradise, though I
should have liked you to see the Zoological Gardens
first. They are over there, in that enclosure to the
left, and are intended for the use of students.’

‘The students of Natural History, I suppose.”

“Not atall. It is only the Students of unnatural
History who go there.”

‘‘Unnatural History! What do you mean by
that ?”

‘History, which refers to unnatural things, of
course. Those children you saw enjoying their
dinner are examined there sometimes, and there
are many curious things to be seen there.”

‘“‘T should like to see them,” said Olga, if we
have time.

“T daresay we have,” replied Dick, ‘‘so comealong.”


CHAPTER XII.

Unnatural $[istory.

Bal will go to see the Elephant first,” said
Dick, when they had entered the Zoo-

logical Gardens. ‘That is his house in



front of you.”

Olga hurried on to the building indicated.
Inside, the Elephant and the Rhinoceros, who had
been lunching together, were seated in two easy
chairs reading the Times and the Saturday Review,
but they put their papers down at the sight of
Olga, and looked at her with an expression of mild
curiosity.

‘This is a young lady who has come to see

you,” said Dick, by way of introduction.
Unnatural History. 105



‘If she has only come to see me,” said the
Elephant, ‘she is very welcome. I don’t mind
being looked at, she may stare as much as she
likes, but are you quite sure,” he continued, turning
to Olga, ‘that you do not want to ride on my
back ?”

Olga assured him politely that she had no such |
desire.

“That is all right,” said the Elephant, ‘‘because
I never consent to such a thing now. Why people
should use me to ride on instead of the Giraffe or
the Boa Constrictor is what I have never been able
to understand.”

‘What is still more puzzling,” said the Rhinoc-
eros, ‘is that they should never want to ride on
me. Iam sure my back would be a very comfort-
able one. Does any explanation of this occur to
you ?”

Olga could not think of any which she felt would
be agreeable to the Rhinoceros to hear, so answered
in the negative. .

“I hardly like to tell you,” said the Rhinoceros’

“ since you cannot think of it for yourself; but the
106 Olga’s Dream.



fact is, people like my front view too much to give
itup. The way they stand and gaze at my features,
completely lost in admiration, quite embarrasses
me at times.”

‘‘ That is all nonsense,” said the Elephant in an
angry whisper to Olga, ‘‘but my dear friend the
Rhinoceros is too thick-skinned and too pig-headed
to be persuaded of anything different.”

A man, whom Dick told Olga was a Keeper, now
came up to her with a dish of penny buns.

‘‘T wish,” he whispered, ‘that you would see if
you can tempt them to take one. We can never
get them to touch one, and it seems so unnatural
you know.”

Olga took one of the buns and approached the
Elephant with it. ‘‘May I offer you one?” she
said timidly. To her disappointment the Elephant
turned his trunk straight up in the air with an
expression of the greatest disgust.

‘“You must excuse me,” he said, gradually
lowering his trunk as Olga drew back, ‘‘but I
really cannot possibly take it. I have pretended

for years that they were my favourite article of
Unnatural History. 107



food, just to be obliging and to please people, but
I cannot keep it up any longer. I feel quite ill at
the sight of one; and the worst of it is, that if I
were to take it just to please you, a crowd would
come directly, and everyone would expect me to
treat them in the same way. But at least I can
be generous,” he added with a curious smile ; ‘if
you really would like to give the bun to someone,
pray offer it to my most dear and esteemed friend
the Rhinoceros.”

Olga turned in the direction of the Rhinoceros
with the bun in her hand, and as he was just in
the middle of a huge yawn, and had not taken the
‘trouble to put his hand in front of his mouth, she
took the opportunity to fling the bun at it. The
Rhinoceros, however, saw it coming, and snapped
his jaws together just in time to escape it, and
then seeing that Olga had armed herself with
another, he took a flying leap over the table, and
out of the window, and the next moment was
racing round the garden with the speed of an
antelope.

Olga and Dick watched him out of sight, and
108 Olga’s Dream.



then moved away further into the gardens. The
next thing they came to was a Donkey with a side-
saddle on his back. .

‘“ What is there peculiar about him?” asked
Olga, pausing to look at him.

““F[e is one of the greatest curiosities in the
whole collection,” said Dick. ‘‘He always goes
in the exact direction that you want him to, and
obeys every order that is given. Numbers of
students come every day just to examine him, but
no one has been able to find out the cause of this
remarkable fact about him yet. Mount him for a
moment, and tell him to take you somewhere, just
to prove if I have not told you the truth.”

Olga seated herself in the saddle, and whispered
to the Donkey that she wanted to go to the Fool’s
Paradise. The intelligent animal turned his head
towards her, gave a knowing wink with his left eye,
and was off at a galop.

“Tell him to turn round and come back,”
shouted Dick, and the next moment the Donkey
had brought Olga back to the starting-point.

‘‘T wish all donkeys were like him,” Olga re-
Unnatural History. TOQ



marked with a laugh as she dismounted. ‘ But,
dear me, what a funny looking little dog that is
over there. What kind can he be?”

“That is also a great curiosity,” said Dick,
following her to where the dog was; ‘it is a Pug-
dog which has never been overfed. He is now
nine years old, and yet you see he is quite thin
and does not know what asthma is. Offer him
this sweet biscuit, and see what he says.”

Olga did as she was told, and the little dog
made a polite bow but did not touch the tempting
morsel.

‘‘ You must not think me rude,” he said, ‘‘ but
the fact is I make it a rule never to take more
than one meal in the day, and I find it necessary,
in order to maintain the balance of health which I
consider desirable, never to depart from it. And
' now I hope you will excuse me, as I always take
an hour’s exercise at this time on the trapeze.
Good-bye.”

He had bounded off with the agility of a grey-
hound before Olga had time to reply.

“We will go to the Aviary next,” said Dick.
IIO Olga’s Dream.



“They have a most remarkable collection of
singing-birds there.”

“In what way are they remarkable?” asked
Olga.

‘They do not make noise enough to split your
head every time anyone begins to talk,” said
Dick. ‘You will see how differently they behave
directly.” |

As they approached the Aviary she could hear
the canaries and bullfinches singing gaily, and
when they reached it Dick told her to go inside
amongst them all.

The birds did not seem in the least epetena
or surprised to see her. They only eyed her with
a little curiosity and rather lowered their voices.

‘Say something,” said Dick, ‘ and see the
effect on them.”

Olga began to repeat the first thing that came
into her head, and the birds, instead of trying to
drown her voice with theirs, stood in a patient row
listening attentively. Olga could never remember
where she had heard what she recited. It was as

follows :—
Unnatural History. Til



THE CROCODILE AND THE KANGAROO.

There was a gallant young Crocodile,
And a bashful Kangaroo,

Who once on a while, were brought from the Nile,
And placed in the London Zoo.

“Oh! Kangaroo,” the Crocodile sighed,
“Do be tender, 1 know you are sweet,
There is none beside, I should like for my bride,
May I offer you one of my feet?”

The Kangaroo said she was only afraid
That the Crocodile’s teeth were too sharp,
She liked, so she said, his tail, not his head,

And preferred either salmon or carp.

Her suitor replied, he could only agree
— Ifshe spoke of them served on a platter,
For she surely must see, that ’twas not they, but he,

Who was bigger, and stronger, and fatter.

“And picture,” he said, ‘‘the rapturous bliss,
It will be both for me and for you,
When I give you a kiss, most exquisite miss,

And bear you away from the Zoo.”
II2 Olga’s Dream.



He took her right paw, and would not Jeave go,
‘ While the tears down his nose. fell in streams ;
And the sight of his woe, moved the Kangaroo so,

That she uttered a couple of screams.

Then she gave her consent, she blushed and she sighed,
As she owned he might now kiss her twice,

But his mouth was so wide, that she tumbled inside—
Said the Crocodile, “ Yes, she was nice 1

‘You see,” said Dick, looking at the birds who
were still standing in a hushed silence around
her, when she had finished, ‘how very different
these are to most singing-birds. But now we will
just look in at the Monkey-house before we go.”

‘““T have not seen the Hippopotamus yet,” said
_Oiga, as they walked on. |

‘‘He is over there,” said Dick, ‘‘climbing a tree.”

‘Ts it not very dangerous?” said Olga, as she
watched the ungainly form of the Hippopotamus
sway about on a branch of the tree indicated.

‘Oh! of course he might very easily fall down
and break his neck, and he is being constantly
told so, but it does not make any difference. He

persists in doing it. I should like you to have seen
Unnatural History. 113



the Giraffe, but he is under the water in the tank
over there. He will take cold baths, though they
are very bad for his constitution. That is the
Polar Bear we are passing now. You may always
be sure of finding him there, for nothing will induce
him to move from one place.”

‘No, indeed,” growled the animal in question,
who had overheard the remark. ‘I have walked
up and down, up and down, for years, just because
it was expected of me, and now I am going to
please myself for the rest of my life, and don’t
intend to move for anyone.”

They now came to the Monkey-house, where
they found a very large Ape busily employed in
combing his back hair with a tortoise-shell comb.
This process over, he washed his face very carefully
with monkey soap, and dried it with a clean towel,
and then, his toilet completed, he sat down and
looked at Olga.

‘“‘T hope,” he said, ‘‘that you have not come to
claim relationship with me.”

‘No, indeed,” said Olga. ‘‘I should not think
of such a thing.”
114 Olga’s Dream.



‘That is all right,” said the Ape with a sigh of
satisfaction. ‘‘So many people do now, and it
really is very embarrassing. They never seem to
consider my feelings in the matter at all, though
you would think it might strike them that one does
not care to be related to just anybody. I have
always been very particular about my connections
myself, as you may perceive by studying the family
tree, which makes it all the more aggravating when
people will intrude.”

‘“T should not have thought that many would do
so,” said Olga.

‘That shows all you know about it, then,” said
the Ape. “If I chose to admit their claims I
should be overwhelmed with new relations. But I
won’t do it; and I won’t crack any more hard
nuts for people either, so I hope you have not
brought me any.”

‘“No, I have not,” said Olga, “but here is a
flower for you,” she added, seized with a sudden
impulse to pick a red rose which was growing near,
and offer it him.

The Ape took it in his hand and smelt it,
Unnatural History. TI5



then handed it back to her through the bars.

“You are very kind,” he said, ‘but really |
- don’t care for flowers.” |

‘“T thought you would like it,” said Olga in a
slightly disappointed tone. ‘‘I] am sure I have
often seen your relations pull them to pieces.”

The Ape shook with laughter. ‘‘And you thought
we did so because we liked it,’ hesaid. ‘‘Oh! dear
me, how very funny to be sure. It was all a piece
of acting just to amuse human beings. I am glad
we were so successful.”

‘* Well, good-bye,” said Olga, moving away
and feeling her dignity a little hurt at the dis-
covery that she had been taken in by the Monkeys
so long.

‘There is one more curiosity for you to see,”
said Dick. ‘Look in that tree over there.”

Olga looked, and saw a little animal, with the
head of a rabbit, and a long flat back hanging on
to one of the branches.

“That,” said Dick, ‘‘is a Welsh Rabbit. Have
you ever seen one before ?”’ |

‘“‘T don’t think so,” said Olga rather doubtfully.
TIO Olga’s Dream.



“At least not alive. I think I have done so on
the table.”

“He is a curious animal,’ said Dick, ‘“who lives
in trees and feeds on ice cream and pickled walnuts,
but his greatest peculiarity is that he cannot bear
you to mention either toast or cheese to him. You
see that bright-coloured fish in the tank under the
tree?” .

“Yes,” said Olga, ‘“‘ what is it ?”

“Tt is a Red-herring,” said Dick, ‘and it is
worth your while to look at it, because I’ daresay
you have never seen one alive before.”

Olga pondered for a little time, but came to the
conclusion that all the other red-herrings she had
seen certainly had been dead ones.

‘But now,” said Dick, ‘‘we really must not
stay here any longer, or we shall never get to the
Fool’s Paradise to-day.”

He led Olga out of the Zoological Gardens, as
he spoke, by another gate than the one through
which they had entered, but here they met with a

further delay in their journey.


CHAPTER XIII.

_ppelling and a pell.

<4, UTSIDE the gate was a crowd of imp-




like little men busily engaged in trying
to hoist a large stone into an enormous
pair of scales.

They stopped at the sight of Olga and Dick,
and one of them ran eagerly forward.

‘Oh, do come here and see if you can help us,”
he said. ‘‘I am afraid we shall never do it alone.”

‘You must first tell us what you are trying to

do,” said Dick, giving Olga a sidelong look of
amusement.
‘“* You see,” said the little man, ‘‘ what this huge

stone has written on it.”
I
118 Olga’s Dream.



Dick went: nearer, and read in large letters, “TO
THE FOOL’S PARADISE. THIS WAY.”

‘Tt tells us to weigh it, you see,” said the little
man, ‘‘and that is what we are trying to do, but
it is so difficult. We have not even hoisted it
into the scales yet, but as we are very anxious to
get into the Fool’s Paradise, we mean to try.”

‘“We have asked them to let us in,” said
another of the dwarfs, ‘‘ but they say we are not
big enough.”

“We are really very unlucky,” said the first
speaker again. ‘‘ Nothing ever does succeed with
us. You see that notice over there?’’ he added,
turning to Olga.

Olga looked, and sawa sheet of water, and in
front of it a board with the words ‘‘ GREAT
POND” on it. .

““Of course,” said the dwarf, ‘‘it being a pond of
that kind, we felt sure a fire could be lighted in it.”

‘Yes,’ chimed in another, ‘‘ but do you know
that though we try constantly to light one, the
water always puts it out immediately. Is it not

very odd? You see that clump of trees on the
Si

ae ae
GO: ZL. ee

j

Le

q
4





























Y

e I
fi : all

idl
‘Vy
Ah



‘C¢ yes, SAID DICK, ‘A WRONG SPELL HAS BEEN CAST OVER YOU.’”
Spelling and a Spell. 11g



bank?” he continued, without waiting for a reply.

‘‘ Yes,” said Olga, ‘‘ what are they?”

‘“‘ They are all ashes,” he replied. ‘That just
shows how many failures we have had. But it is
the same with everything. We do exactly what
we are told, and yet nothing ever turns out right.
You see that boat, for instance ?”’

“Yes,” said Olga. ‘‘ What a wreck it looks,
only the stern seems to be there.”

‘But there is a notice up in the boat-house,

and it says—
‘ MAKE A BOW,
AND HAVE A ROW,
THEN I’LL TAKE
You O'ER THE LAKE.’

So we all bowed to it, and then we had a row
and fought each other all round, but if you will
believe me, it was no good. The boat actually
never moved at all.”

?

‘And there was that other notice,” said another
voice. ‘It was put up on a piece of ploughed
land, and it said,

‘IF you sow,

CORN WILL GROW,’
120 Olga’s Dream.



but though we have had whole armies of tailors
there sewing day and night, nothing has come up.
You can see them now, I think.”

Olga looked, and saw a number of queer little
fellows sitting cross-legged on the ground, and
sewing as if their life depended on it.

‘“And what. is this man doing?” she asked,
looking at another who had a paint box in front of
him, with which he was busily painting something
red.

‘‘ He is painting a book. It said on it, TO BE
READ, and he has painted it that colour nearly
all through, but nothing seems to come of it. It
is very disappointing. Over there, too,” he went
on, ‘‘ you see we have put a bed.”

“A bed!” exclaimed Olga, ‘(what can that
be for?”

‘‘ For flowers,” said the dwarf. ‘‘ There was a
notice up saying that if we made a bed, flowers
would grow, so we had one brought, and two
housemaids are engaged making it day and night.”

‘‘And what has happened?” said Olga, hardly

able to conceal a smile.
Spelling and a Spell. Tat



‘The extraordinary thing is that nothing has
happened. There is not a sign of a flower yet,
not even of a bud; and we cannot understand it
at all. We are in another difficulty, too, over
thére. We were told to make a pier in the bay,
and with a great deal of trouble we managed to
plant a tree of that kind.”

‘«« And does it flourish?” asked Olga.

“Oh yes, it flourishes, but we don’t know how ~
to make a pier in it. It seems rather an odd place
for one, you know, when you come, to think
about it.”

Olga thought it certainly did.

‘« Have you ever heard of a pier being up a tree ?”
he continued.

‘Tl am not sure,” said Olga, ‘“‘ but it does. not
seem very likely.”

“We hoped at first for a Duke, or at least a
German Count,” said the dwarf very sadly, ‘* but
though we are continually looking out we have not
seen a glimpse of even a coronet yet, and we begin
to think it is a mistake, and that nothing higher

than a Knight is meant, but even he never comes.
I22 Olga’s Dream.



We know one is expected, because it says over

there—
‘THE NIGHT WILL COME,

THEN HASTEN HOME,’

but day after day passes, and he never appears.”

’ he continued

‘“T wish you could help us,’
anxiously. ‘ We are so tired of never succeeding
at anything. Don’t you think you could help us
a little 2” |

“T am afraid I don’t know how exactly,” said
Olga regretfully. ‘‘ Though I feel as if I ought to
be able to. I will ask Dick,” she added, ‘‘perhaps
he can suggest something.”

In the meanwhile, Dick had retired a little from
the crowd, and was sitting cross-legged on a small
mound surveying them. He gave Olga and her
companion a look of intense amusement when they
approached, but listened very attentively while the
former explained the difficulties of which she had
just been hearing.

“ Don’t you think you could help them?” she
said, at the end. ‘‘ They seem so distressed, poor
. little things.”
Spelling and a Spell. 123



“Yes,” said the dwarf, with a sigh, ‘‘we are
really dreadfully puzzled; and the worst of it is
that though we feel we are in great straits, every-
thing seems to go crooked.”

Dick looked radiant. He seemed to consider it
alla very good joke, which Olga thought a little -
heartless of him.

‘‘Oh dear,” he said, ‘“‘ how funny it is that no
one should have found out what was the matter
before. It is a pity you did not come to me
sooner. The fact is, you have all been bewitched.”

‘* Really!’ cried the dwarf. ‘‘That is very inter-
esting. I must tell the others to come and listen.”

“Yes,” said Dick, ‘you are all bewitched ;
a wrong spell has been cast over you, but
fortunately I am just the person to come to. |
shall cast a different one, and then everything will
come right.”

“Oh thank you, thank you,” cried all the
dwarfs ; and the tailors, and bed-makers, and the
man who had been painting the book, came flocking
up to join them.

“Why are you doing that?” asked Olga, as
124 Olga’s Dream.



Dick began to wave his arms in the air, and make

all sorts of curious signs.

‘‘T am casting a charm or spell over them,” he

explained.

?

‘Yes, yes,” cried one of the dwarfs, ‘I call it

77

charming.
‘“And I call. it spelling,” said Dick, ‘but it
does not much matter. Now don’t speak to me;
I must not be interrupted.”
He began to chant the following words in a
slow monotonous voice, still waving his arms

about as he did so.

. THOUGH GRATE IS GREAT,
AND SEW IS SOW,

STRAITS ARE NOT STRAIGHT,
NoR ROW A ROW.

THOUGH WEIGH IS WAY,
AND RED IS READ,
Bay IS NOT BAY,
NoR BED A BED.

IF RIGHT YOU WRITE,
IT IS QUITE CLEAR
NIGHT IS NOT KNIGHT,
NoR PIER A PEER.
Spelling and a Spell. 125



THE SPELL THUS GOES,
BID IT FAREWELL,

My SPELLING SHOWS
How ALL SHOULD SPELL.

The moment he paused the dwarfs dispersed,
and in another minute they were all at work.
Some began to drag the great stone back into its
place, others to build a bow to the boat, while
others fetched the oars ready for the row, and
others again began to build a pier in a bay of the
lake. As for the tailors, they threw away their
needles and thread and began to sow grain, while
the painter began to read the book, and the bed-
makers pitched the bed into the middle of the
lake, and were seen to dig furiously.

“Now you see,” said Dick, turning proudly to —
Olga, ‘‘ of how much use I am in the world. But
we must not pause here any longer. This is the
entrance to the Fool’s Paradise.”

He knocked as he spoke at a door in the middle

of a high wall which confronted them.


CHAPTER XIV.

Fitths and a_ Jar.

A Pa HE door opened immediately, and before



Olga stood two figures, one an enormous
giant and the other a dwarf, or at any
rate, looking like one by the side of his companion.

‘‘ Where are your passports ?” said the former,
looking severely at Olga and Dick.

Dick looked rather confused. “If I might only
whisper in your ear,” he replied, ‘“‘I think we
might arrange that.”

‘“‘Flelp him up,” said the giant to his companion,
and the next minute Dick was on the dwarf’s
shoulder, and by standing on tip-toe while the
giant bent as much as possible towards him, he

managed to whisper into his ear.
Fifths and a Jar. 127



“Tt’s all right for me;” he said to Olga on
descending. ‘‘My nameisenough. Butitis rather
awkward for you. Have you no passport about
you?”

“T do not know what that is exactly,” said Olga.

“J will try and explain,” said Dick. ‘ Look
over there.”

Olga looked in the direction indicated, and saw
avery high hedge and a number of people crowding
over it to the country beyond. Some were
leaping over with apparent ease, others pushing
and struggling, many scrambling through, while
others never succeeded in gaining the other side
at all.

“‘T can’t think what it is,” said Olga, ‘‘ and yet
it seems to remind me of something.” -

‘‘Tt is an Examination,” said Dick, ‘‘and a
passport proves that you have passed it. Have
you one?”

“Oh dear,” cried Olga, in great distress. ‘ It
is too annoying, but I have not yet. Iam sure
to have one soon, because I have taken every

ed

subject ——
128 Olga’s Dream.



‘“‘ Branch, don't you mean?” said Dick, looking
at the hedge.

‘* Branch, then, if you like, and I worked so
hard, and my teacher said she was quite sure I
had passed easily, but you see the result is not
known yet, so I have nothing to show.”

“T think it can be explained,” said Dick, and
once more approached the giant, to return, after a
few minutes conversation, with the tidings that
though it was against rules, and though no one so
young as Olga was admitted generally, an exception
should be made in her favour.

“Tt is principally because you are in my
company,” he added proudly, as they entered. “I
wonder if you will recognise anyone here.”

‘Are they all fools?” enquired Olga, looking
round.

“They are, really, but be careful not to let
them know that you think so, for you see they
can only come here through Learning, and are all
under the impression that they are extremely wise.”

‘“And who are the two people at the door.

Are they fools also ?”’
Fifths and a Jar. 129



‘Oh no, not exactly, only every now and then
they have attacks of madness. They are brothers ;
the small one is Education, and the other, of
course, Higher Education. But now look about
you at the people here.”

‘¢ Who are those four queer little men trying to
climb the rail over there?” asked Olga, whose
attention was now diverted to one corner of the
enclosure in which they were standing, where she
saw four little men, evidently brothers, as they
were exactly the same height and size, and much
alike in appearance, who were engaged in an
attempt to climb an iron rail, with a large jar
which they carried amongst them.

“Go and speak to them,” said Dick, ‘and
perhaps you will find out.” Olga drew nearer,
and watched them quite nervously, without speak-
ing for a few minutes.

‘They will never be able to do it,” she exclaimed
at last, and at that moment one of the brothers
came to a standstill about half-way up the rail,
while another, who had kept slightly in advance

all the time, went on a step or two and then
130 Olga’s Dream.



also stopped; the next moment they both slipped
and fell to the bottom, while the jar rolled on to
the top of them.

‘“Oh dear,” said Olga, running up to them.
‘‘T am afraid you must be hurt.”

“ Not in the least,” said the one who had



‘“" A REST WOULD COME IN VERY WELL JUST HERE,”

climbed the higher and seemed the elder of the
two, as he calmly picked himself up.

‘* Not at all,” echoed the other.

‘1 think,” said the first speaker, gently rubbing
his knee, ‘that a rest would come in very well
just here.”

“Yes,” said the other, ‘it might be a good
Fifths and a Jar. 131



thing.” And picking up the jar, they sat down
on each side of it and gazed at Olga.

‘Would you mind telling me,” she said, ‘why
you want to climb that rail?”

‘““ To get to the other side, of course!” was the
reply.

“And how is it then that you never get
there?”

‘Because we always slip down again, you
stupid,” said one.

“Tt is not that at all,” said the other angrily.
‘We don’t get to the other side because we stop
on this.”

‘“‘ That’s the same thing,’ retorted his brother.

‘“‘ Oh, please don’t quarrel,” said Olga. ‘‘Iam
sure it does not matter at all.”

‘* We can’t help quarrelling!”’ said one of the
brothers. ‘There seems to be a want of harmony
between us.”

‘He is so crotchety,” said the other crossly.
‘‘ There is no doing anything to please him.”

““T would rather be crotchety than quavery,

anyhow,” said theother. ‘Do you see,” he added
K
132 Olga’s Dream.



to Olga, ‘‘how quavery he is. He is almost on
the shake.”

‘¢ Flow dare you,” cried the other. ‘It is most
insulting, and you know quite well I never shake
at all.”

‘Ts the jar never broken in the fall?” said
Olga, anxious to change the conversation. This
had the desired effect. Her question seemed to
quite divert their minds from the subject of their
quarrel, and they both roared with laughter. It
was some time before they recovered themselves
sufficiently to speak.

“You might as well ask if falling asleep is the
best way to wake yourself up,” said one.

_ “Or if cutting off your legs would enable you to
walk,” said the other.

‘“ But most jars would be broken, you know,”
said Olga, feeling a little annoyed at their
laughter.

‘No, they would not, not such jars as this, at
any rate. Why, if it would only break, we should
be able to climb the rail in no time. But can’t

you see how flat it is.”
Fifths and a Jar. 133



‘So it is,” said Olga, noticing for the first time
the peculiar shape of the jar. ‘ But I do not see
what that has to do with it, nor why you should
take it up the rail with you.”

‘We may not go on without it or else we
would,” ‘was the reply.. ‘ Besides, if we left it
below, it would alter the pitch.”

‘Alter the pitch!” exclaimed Olga. ‘ What do
you mean by that?”

“Tt is filled with pitch,” he replied, “ ad not
you know?”

‘“ No,” said Olga, ‘I did not. That must make
it very heavy. Do you really think you will ever
get to the other side?”

‘“We mean to yet. We shall go on trying.
And once there, what a time we shall have!
Do you see these ropes? If only we could
pull ourselves over by one of them, there
would be no difficulty. But we can never catch
one.”

‘“ And can’t you get to the other side of the
rail without climbing over it ?” asked Olga.

“No,” he replied, ‘‘I am afraid not. There is
134 Olga’s Dream.



an entrance which we think might lead us to it,
but we can’t find the right key.”

‘‘Have you ever been in there?” asked the
other brother suddenly.

“Over the rail, doyou mean? Oh! No, never.”

‘Then you don’t know what fun we have trying
to get there, nor how jolly it will be when we
succeed. How old are you ?”

“Yes, how old are you?” said the other.
“We quite forgot to ask you, and it is very
important.”

‘¢ Most important.”

‘“T don’t see that it is at all important,” said
Olga, “but I don’t mind telling you if you want
to know. I was fifteen last birthday.”

‘You are not yet of age then ?”

“Of course not. People don’t come of age till
they are twenty-one.”

“Dear me! What a pity! You are no good
here then. I thought you might have helped us.”

‘* And why am I no good ?”

‘You see you are under age, in other words a

Minor. Now here we are all Majors.”
Fifths and a Jar. 135



‘‘But my father is a Major,” said Olga eagerly.
‘“* He is in the Volunteers.”

‘“Oh, come along,” interrupted one of the
brothers, ‘“‘ she’s no good. We won't waste any
more time with her.”

‘“ No, we had better not, it is most important to
be in time,” said the other, and seizing the jar
between them, they once more began to ascend
the rail.

‘They wili never do it, but they think they
will. Ob dear! Oh dear! How absurd!” chuckled
Dick, as he watched them. ‘But who do you
take them to be?”

‘““T can’t think of anyone like them at all,” said
Olga.

“Dear, dear,” said Dick, ‘you ought to do.
Look at that inscription.”

Olga looked, and saw in large letters, ‘‘The
bars of Harmony.”

‘They must be consecutive ——’’ she began,
a recollection seeming to dawn on her mind.

‘Quite right,” said Dick. ‘ Consecutive, but

consecutive what ?”
136 Olga’s Dream.



“ Fifths,” cried Olga triumphantly. ‘‘ Con-
secutive Fifths! But what are they doing ?”

‘“‘ Trying to scale the bars of Harmony and get
into Tune, which is on the other side. You have
heard of scales, I suppose.”

‘Oh yes, and played them often.”

‘“Now you know the derivation of the word.
But to return to the Fifths. They can never
succeed, you know, because they are obliged to
take that jar with them, and there you have the
meaning of the verb to sar.”

‘And I suppose,” said Olga, as a bright idea
struck her, ‘that it is flat because it is out of
Tune.”

‘“‘ Of course.”

‘“* And the ropes ?”

‘They are generally called chords, and if only
the Fifths could catch hold of one of those
hanging over this side, they might be able to pull
themselves over. But they will never do so,
never, never, so it is no use to spend any more
time with them. Come along, and we will see

what some of the other fools are doing. You had
Fifths and a Jar. 137



better look round and see which you find the most
interesting.”

He led Olga by the hand away from the comical
little brothers as he spoke, and she saw before her
a field full of people who seemed to be all moving

in different directions.




CHAPTER XV.

Other Fools.

a esa) WONDER what these people are looking

for,” said Olga, turning to a small crowd,



mostly composed of old men, who were
all hurrying to and fro, evidently searching for
something.

“You may go and ask them if you like, but
they are each looking for something different,”
replied Dick.

‘“‘T will go and ask the old man over there. He
looks so anxious, and must be very old,” said Olga.

‘Have you lost anything ?” she said, politely —
going up to him.

‘‘T have not lost anything,” was the curt reply,
Other Fools. 139



‘because you cannot lose what you have not got,
and I never had it.”

“But you are looking for something, are you
not?” said Olga.

“What makes you think so?” said the old
man, giving her a keen look out of the corner of
his eyes.

“Oh! Icansee that you are. MayTIhelp you?”

‘No, no,” screamed the old man. ‘Go away.
I will not be interfered with.”

Olga beat a hasty retreat.

“He is dreadfully cross,” she said to Dick.
“But won’t you tell me what it is that he is
looking for?”

‘He is looking for something that will turn
everything into gold.”

‘* The Philosopher’s Stone, I suppose!”

‘Some people call it that, but it has many
names. Now, that old man spends all his time
looking for it, but he will never find it, and what’s
more, if he were to find it, he would not bea bit
happier. He’s one of the biggest fools here. But

do you see that wise-looking creature near him ?
140 Olga’s Dream.



He is nearly as foolish. You would never guess
what he is looking for, so I will tell you at once.
He is looking for the Fourth Dimension,”—and
Dick went into fits of laughter.

“‘T think I have heard my father speak of the
Fourth Dimension,” said Olga, ‘‘but I don’t know
anything about it.”

‘‘ You know quite as much as he does, I expect.
Go and ask him what he is looking for, and
see how foolish he is.”

Olga went up to him and said very meekly,
‘‘Would you be so kind as to tell me what you are
looking for?” She thought she would take rather
a different line of action, and not make any offers
of assistance this time.

‘“That’s just what I don’t know,’ was the
mournful reply. ‘I spend all my time looking for
it, and I have not found out what it is yet. I can
only tell what it is not.”

‘¢ And what is it not, please? I should so much
like to know.”

“Tt isn’t Length, nor Breadth, nor Width, but
it might be anything else.”
Other Fools. 141



‘“‘But it must be rather tiresome to look for any-
thing so vague.”

‘‘No, it isn’t, because I know I shall find it some
day. If I were not sure of finding it, I might
think it tiresome, but I can prove to you by logic
that I shall.”

‘Oh, please do. I have read a little logic, so I
think I can understand.”

“Tt goes in syllogisms like this—

I am not looking for nothing
But I am looking for This,
Therefore; This is not nothing.”

“Two negatives make an affirmative,” said Olga.

“Exactly, that’s the point. This is not nothing,
therefore it is something. So you see I have
proved that I am looking for something.”

‘‘But you have not proved that you will find it.”

‘Don’t be so impatient. I have proved that
too, but it requires a separate syllogism.

Something is somewhere,

I am looking somewhere,
So I shall find something.

Now is not that clear ?”’
142 Olga’s Dream.





“Tt sounds all right, certainly,” said Olga
dubiously.

‘“‘Tt is as clear as daylight,” said the seeker of
the Fourth Dimension joyfully. ‘But good-bye,
I must not waste any more time.”

‘“‘T don’t think he is quite so foolish as he looks,”
said Olga, when she returned to Dick.

‘‘ No, perhaps there is a little more method in
his madness, than in that of most people here.
But before we move on further, I should like to
know what you think all those people are doing.”

Olga looked in the direction pointed out, and
saw a number of people who seemed to be trying
to make their way to a gaily-decorated pole at
some little distance.

“They look very mad,” she said, after a few
minutes’ thought. ‘‘But that must be a Maypole
over there.” |

‘* Wrong, as usual. It is not a Maypole, nor is
it nearly so attractive as it looks in the distance.
It has been gilded by Imagination and painted by
Fancy, but the paint won’t wear, and comes off as

they try to climb it. Iam not surprised that you
Other Fools. 143



should think the people mad. Perhaps they are
a little.” .

‘* But please tell me what it all means really.”

‘“* Well, then, that is the North Pole, and those
are people looking for—what do you think?”

‘T don’t know, I am sure.”

‘The North West Passage! And do you know
why they will never find it?”

‘“*T don’t think I do.”

‘The reason is very simple when you know it.
They won’t find it because there is no such thing,
and even if they were to reach the pole, they could
not stay there, and would be no better off. But
we have been here long enough. Let us go on

further now.”




CHAPTER XVI.

Fishers.

—4aIGA and Dick wandered on for a little

time without seeing anything specially



interesting, but by-and-bye Olga stopped

by the side of a stream, on the banks of which
were resting some people with foolish self-satisfied
faces, who were occupied in fishing.

‘Who are these ?”’ she asked.

‘“These are people who spend all their time
fishing for compliments.”

‘* And do they catch any ?”

‘Often of a kind, and they are so silly as to be
quite satisfied with whatever they catch. Irony,
Flattery, or whatever fish they get hold of, pleases
Fishers. : T45



them almost as much as if it were a genuine
Compliment, and they are so greedy that they
generally swallow whatever they catch whole.”

‘‘How disgusting. What sort of people can
they be?”

ul ihe is Hi
- “prving Moulieu.

‘(THEY SPEND ALL THEIR TIME IN FISHING FOR COMPLIMENTS.”



“Oh, all sorts. From Infant Prodigies to Senior
Anglers.”

‘‘] think they are a horrid set of people.”

“Yes, they are an unpleasant set of fools, and
they lead such unwholesome lives too. How any

one can live on such fish I can’t think, but they
146 Olga’s Dream.



seem to thrive pretty well on it, at any rate they
are quite satisfied. Now a real Compliment is
not at all a bad fish, but it needs to be very nicely
served to make it palatable, and at the best is
much too rich for ordinary food. I like it light
and well turned, it is really rather enjoyable then
occasionally.. These fishers, however, have such
bad taste that they take it raw, and seem to prefer
it that way.”

‘« How horrid,” said Olga.

“Yes, but they take worse things than that.
They swallow a great quantity of Flattery, as I said
before, and though they call it Compliment, no one
else would. Some of it is so gross too, but they
never seem to mind. There is only one kind of
fish they really dislike, and that is called Joke,
they never take that if they can help it, but I-have
known them catch one occasionally, and actually
swallow it in mistake fora Compliment. Itwas fun!”

‘ And does each fisher keep what he catches ?”

‘Oh yes, they never pass anything on. I heard
one who had been fishing all day without taking

anything ask his neighbour once for a fish, as he
Fishers. 147

had just caught several, and what do you think
the reply was?”

‘«T have not any idea.”

“Why, he said, ‘1 can’t do that, old fellow.
They are not in your ize, you know,’ and of course
that was perfectly true, and the other one could
not say another word.”

‘“‘T don’t call that a very foolish answer.”

‘Oh! they are sharp enough in some ways.
But for all that they are tremendous fools. Look
there now!” At that moment one of the fishers
gave a cry of glee, and landed a large struggling
fish, which he unhooked and began stuffing into his
mouth. Ina few seconds it had entirely disappeared.

‘‘ What kind of fish was that?” said Olga.

“That was Flattery. Would you like to sit
down and watch the fishers a little longer ?”

‘“«T think I should,” said Olga.

‘They won't notice us,” said Dick, “they are
quite absorbed in their fishing.”

Olga, however, soon felt rested, and did not care
to watch the self-satisfied creatures any longer, so

they started to walk again.

L




CHAPTER XVII.

“Right Ansies and Wrong Ansles.

a ALE RE we are,” said Dick, after a little time.

‘‘T wanted you to see this set of fools.’



In front of them was a perfectly round
pond, and onits banks at equal distances from each
other stood four straight angular-looking people, but
Olga could not see what their occupation was.

‘Go and talk to them,” said Dick.

‘‘T wish you would come too,” said Olga. ‘1
don’t half like going up to people alone without any
introduction. Won't you come with me?”

Dick hesitated. ‘ To tell the truth,” he said at
last, ‘I don’t much care to. The fact is I am not

on such good terms with the people in here, as
222 ||
| 5 LP wN



OLGA SURROUNDED BY THE ANGLES.
Right Angles and Wrong Angles. 149



I am with those outside. They don’t like me.”

“Very well,” said Olga, ‘I will go alone if you
prefer it.”

‘What can they be doing?” she said to herself
when she reached the pond, for she saw that each
of the four people who were standing at equal
distances from each other, had a bucket which he
kept on constantly filling from the pond and empty-

‘ing on the bank, never seeming to notice that the
water immediately ran down the bank and into the
pond again, so that it might as well have been
poured straight back there at once for all the
difference made.

“What a dreadful waste of time,” she thought.
‘“‘T wonder what they think they are doing. I may
as well try to find out.”

‘You seem very busy,” she said, addressing the
person nearest her.

“Yes, it is hard work,” he replied, as he emptied
his bucket and went back to fill it. ‘‘ But we shall
do it in time.”

‘‘ Are you trying to empty the pond?” said Olga
timidly.
150 Olga’s Dream.



‘* What a silly question ! Do you see what it is?”

“Tt is a round pond.”

“That’s one name for it, perhaps. But don’t you
see that it is a circle.”

“Why yes. I suppose all round things are
circles.”

‘Well, it is a circle, and we are trying to
square it.”

“But you can’t do that, you know,” said
Olga eagerly. ‘‘ Even Euclid could not.”

‘“‘ That’s no reason why we should not, and indeed
we have partly accomplished it already. Don’t you
see that ?”’

‘‘T am afraid I don’t.”

‘* Then I suppose I must show you. Now in the
first place, do you know what a square is?”

‘“Oh yes,” said Olga, “I should think I do.
We live ina Square ourselves. It 1s a place with
houses all round, anda piece of garden in the centre.”

‘(Ts it ?” said her companion, as if much struck
with the definition. ‘ But where is that ? I don’t
think it comes in Euclid.”

‘‘Oh no,” said Olga laughing. ‘ I was thinking
Right Angles and Wrong Angles. 151



of London. Do you mean a square in Euclid ?”

“Of course.”

‘« Well, let me see, I have learnt that I am sure.
Oh, I know. A square is a figure enclosed in four
equal straight lines at right angles to each other.”

‘“‘ That’s quite right. Now you see that between
each of us there is a straight line.”

‘“‘So there is,” exclaimed Olga, who now noticed
for the first time that there were fishing lines all
round the pond.

** Well then, there are the four straight lines.
Now we are the Angles—you have heard of people
being Angles, | suppose.”

‘“‘T have heard of Angles and Saxons.”

“Exactly. We are not Saxons, but Angles, and
we know we are not wrong, so you see we are
Right Angles; so there you have the square; only,
to be quite sure, we wanted to prove that the
Angles were really equal to each other, and how
do you think we did that ?”

‘*T am sure I don’t know. How did you?”

«We had a fight, all four of us, and no one won

and no one was conquered, so we were all equal.
152 Olga’s Dream.



If that is not Geometry, I don’t know what is.”

‘It sounds all right,” said Olga thoughtfully.
“There are the four straight lines and the four
Right Angles. But still you have not squared the
circle yet!”

‘“ Not quite, but we are on our way to do it. All
that remains to be done is to fill up the square with
the water from the circle, and that is what we are
busy about now.”

“Then,” cried Olga, ‘I can prove that it can
never be done. The banks of the pond are on the
slope, you see, and as fast as you pour the water on
to them it flows back into the pond, and, as nothing
can be in two places at the same time, the water
can’t be both on the bank and in the pond, and
therefore you are wrong, and if you are wrong you
cannot be right, and so you are not even Right
Angles and therefore you will never square the
circle. -Reductio ad absurdum.”

‘““How dare you, how dare you! She is trying
to reduce our beautiful problem to absurdity,”
shouted the Right Angle, and the other three Right

Angles came running up. “ Turn her out, turn her
Right Angles and Wrong Angles. 153



out. She is an interloper. We will not have her
here,”’ they cried.

‘‘It is too bad,” said the first one. ‘‘ To think
of our problem being treated so,” and he began to
sob bitterly. The others followed his example and
the air was filled with the sounds of lamentation,
on hearing which other Fools and Angles came
running from all directions, and soon Olga found
herself surrounded by a little crowd of them.

‘Turn her out,” cried the Angles again. ‘She
isa spy and an interloper. She is trying to reduce
the beautiful problem which we have proved so
completely to a reductio ad absurdum.”

‘‘That would never do, of course,’ said the old
man whom Olga had seen searching for the Fourth
Dimension. ‘‘ Such a thing could not be allowed
for an instant. She must certainly be turned out.”

Strange to say, Olga did not feel in the least
frightened.

‘‘ Tt does not matter what any of you say,” she
said contemptuously. ‘I know a good deal better
than you, because I have just been in for my Ex-

amination, and you are all Fools.”
154 Olga’s Dream.



At this there was a howl of rage from the crowd,
and when it had subsided, one of the Angles was
heard to ask what they should do with her.

‘Let us throw her up to the North Pole,” said
a voice from the crowd.

‘* Let us pitch her into Tune,” cried another.

‘“‘No,” said one of the Angles, ‘there is a better
plan than that. Since she thinks herself so clever, I
will give her a Problem to work. Let her take a

straight line A.B., and from the centre C., at the



distance E., describe a circle 7

‘““That’s quite easy,” shouted Olga. “I will
soon describe a circle to you. A circle is a plane
figure contained by one line, and is such that all
straight lines ——”

‘Describe a circle in the air,” screamed the
Angles, quite drowning her voice, “cutting the
circle P.O.N.D. at the point O.N., and from there
draw a straight line out again.”

There was a sudden rush towards Olga, and
the confused sound of voices shouting, ‘“ Let
her draw a straight line and describe a circle in

the air.”
Right Angles and Wrong Angles. 155



“You can’t draw a circle in the air, you are
quite wrong,” shouted Olga.

‘But you can,” cried the Angle, ‘and it is
called a somersault. Seize her, seize her,’ he
added excitedly, addressing the advancing crowd.
And now a sudden fear took possession of Olga,
and as the crowd pressed towards her, she felt her
only chance to be in flight, and breaking through
their midst, she fled as fast as she could in the
direction of the door by which she had entered.
On she sped, and still she felt the crowd pursuing
and gaining upon her; but at last she saw the door.
Luckily it was open, but the moment she had
passed through Education closed it behind her,

and she could hear her pursuers bawling at her
from the other side, and uttering sounds of dis-
appointment and baffled rage.

‘*Safe at last,” she exclaimed, sinking down

quite exhausted at the foot of a tree.




CHAPTER XVIII.

The Owl and Others.

AHO are you?” said a voice.



It seemed to Olga to come from
above her, but she looked round and
could not see anyone, so did not make any reply.

‘‘ Who are you?” repeated the voice, and this
time Olga thought she had better take some notice
of it. ‘* Who are you?” she said, ‘‘and where are
you, too? I cannot answer your questions till I
know at least where to address my reply.”

‘‘There’s no need for address,” said the voice.
‘“‘ You are not to send your reply through the post,
but through the tree. Look over your head.”

Olga looked up, and after a few minutes saw a
The Owl and Others. 157

pair of bright eyes amongst the foliage of the tree,
and then the face of an Owl.

‘‘T see you now,” she said, ‘‘and you are an Owl.”

‘Yes, lam an Owl, and consequently very wise,”
said the bird.

““T have heard people called an Owl when they
were very stupid,” said Olga.

‘Really! Now that is very absurd, and only
shows the folly of some people, though indeed the
way names are misapplied is most extraordinary.
But to come back to the point we started from ;
you have not told me yet who and what you are.”

“1,” said Olga. ‘* Why, Iam a girl.”

‘* And what may a girl be, pray ?”

‘* Dear me,” said Olga. ‘* Don’t you know what
a girlis? How very strange; it is so very plain.”

“A girl is very plain, did you say ?” asked the
Owl politely.

“No,” said Olga, laughing, ‘‘I did not mean
that, because some girls are not at all plain. But
I mean that I thought everyone knew what a
girl is.”

‘Well, what is it then ?”’
158 Olga’s Dream.



“Oh! dear! I don’t know how to explain.
Dick would tell you ina minute. But where is
Dick?” and for the first time Olga became con-
scious that her guide and companion was no longer |
with her. ‘I must have left him in the Fool’s
Paradise. Oh! I wish he would come. Dick, Dick,
where are you?’ and Olga began to look round
and call his name in great distress. The Owl
meanwhile sat in the tree looking on with the most
calm imperturbable air, and as soonas Olga paused
to take breath, he said:

‘‘ But you have not told me yet what a girl is.”

‘‘ What a very provoking bird he is, to be sure,”
thought Olga, ‘‘but I must try and explain what a
girl is to satisfy him, I suppose. You see,” she said,
turning to the Owl, ‘‘I am a girl, and therefore a
girl is—I.”

‘Tt won't do, it won’t do,” said the Owl. ‘ That
isn’t logic. You've forgotten your Middle Term.”

“Our Mid-term! Indeed I have not,” said
Olga, thinking it a capital opportunity to change
the conversation. ‘* We went into Epping Forest

for it, and I enjoyed myself so much.”
The Owl and Others. 159



‘No, no,” said the Owl. “You are on the
wrong premises.”’

Olga started back. ‘I am sure Iam very sorry,”
she said, ‘‘ I did not know I was trespassing.”

‘* Don’t talk nonsense,” said the Owl. ‘Tell me
what a girl is.”

‘“Hlow you tease. I can’t tell you, anything
more,” said Olga angrily.

‘“’Te-whit-to-whoo ! Te-whit-to-whoo!” said the
Owl, and the sound seemed to Olga’s ears like
mocking laughter.

‘*Oh, do leave off,” she said, but as the noise
continued. she turned to go away. This, however,
she found to be impossible, for a crowd, attracted
by the Owl’s voice, had already gathered round
her, and she was hemmed in on every side.

‘‘ There’s a girl here,” said the Owl, addressing
the crowd, ‘‘ and she does not even know what she
is. Te-whit-to-whoo! How funny to be sure!”

‘She has no business here,” said one of: the
crowd. “I don’t know how she found her way in
at all. It’s an innovation.”

“Tam not doing anyone any harm,” said Olga
160 Olga’s Dream.



boldly. ‘1 don’t see why you should object to
my being here.”

‘You are in the wrong field,” said another voice.
‘¢ You should work in the next one, where there is
sewing for those who like it, and ploughing and
plucking for those who are not content.”

“Jt must be a horrid place then,” said Olga,
‘‘and I won't go there.”

All this time the crowd had been increasing, and
now Olga perceived among it the gigantic form of
Science, the distorted face of History, and the
crooked body of X, who seemed to be looking at
her with an expression of malignant triumph. Even
the Asses whom she had seen waiting so patiently
at the Bridge came trotting up to see what was the
excitement, and all the time the Owl kept up his
mocking ‘‘ Te-whit-to-whoo.”

“How I wish,” said Olga, looking round in vain
for a means of escape, ‘‘ that Dick were here.”

“ Fe would be no use,” said the Owl, ‘‘ he can
help people into the Field of Learning but he
cannot help them out.”

«What nonsense,” said Olga angrily, ‘‘ | am sure
The Owl and Others. I61



he helps people out very often, but as for leaving
the Field of Learning, I have no intention of doing
so. On the contrary,” she added, gaining courage
as she went on, ‘“‘I intend to remain here and rule
over you all,so remember you are all my subjects.”

‘That is quite true,” whispered Science hur-
riedly to the others. .‘‘She took us all in the
Examination, you know.”

‘*Ot course I did,” said Olga, who overheard
what was said, ‘‘and now you are all to be my
servants and to do what I tell you. I will work all
the Riders, and make a good use of Science, and
employ X whenever he is needed, and History shall
be always ready to give me refreshment.”

This seemed to act like magic on the crowd, in
which a complete change took place at her words.

‘‘ Hear! hear!’’ cried a dozen voices as she
gazed round her proudly. ‘Olga shall be our

Mistress and reign over us all.”

The cheers faded away, and as Olga stretched
out her hands to her subjects, they seemed to

vanish before her.

M
162 Olga’s Dream.



“Oh, where are you all going?” she cried.
‘* Don’t say it is only a dream!” .

‘Dear little Olga,’ said a voice which she
. recognised as that of Miss Trainer, ‘“‘I did not
like to disturb you before, but you must wake up
now. Don’t you hear your school-fellows cheering ?
Their cheers are all for you. Olga has passed the

Examination, and taken First Class Honours.”

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WMG,

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by the watchful shepherd. It will interest children. . . . The tunes will
be thoroughly liked."—Church Times

‘“We highly commend it."—Church Bells.

‘An admirable little book. . . . hymns and tunes all of high merit,
both as to words and music.”—Tkhe Scotsman.

“We cannot imagine anything more suitable for a Children’s Service, or
an Afternoon Service of Song.”—L£cclesiastical Gazette.
A FLOWER SERVICE, A complete Order of Service
for Children, with Prayers, Versicles, Psalm, Lessons, etc.
Including Hymns by Revs. Joun Ex.erton, S. Barine
GouLp, A. G. W. Buunt, etc. With New and Original
Tunes by Sir Jounw Stainer, Mus. Doc., Dr. J. F. Bripce,
Organist of Westminster Abbey, BeRTHOLD Tours, etc.
There are Opening and Recessional Hymns, in addition to
Hymns to be sung during the Presentation of the Flowers
and Fruit. It is suitable for Spring and Summer Flower
Services. Tenth Edition. Complete with Mustc, price 4d.
The Words separately, for distribution in Church, price 4d.,
or 3/6 per 100.

‘“We most heartily recommend it, and shall not be sorry if the existence
of the form leads to the adoption of the Service.’"—Church Times.

‘*A capital idea well and ably carried out." —-Beclestastical Chronicle,
** Will be found to meet a considerable need."-—Literary Churchman.

“This is an admirably-designed Service, all complete, set to melodious -
music such as children would readily take up. The whole is so well done that
it will greatly facilitate the’ arrangements for Children’s Flower Services.”

—Musical Times.

“The music is melodious and easy, and the hymns exceedingly pretty and

appropriate.”—Church Review.

SKEFFINGTON & SON, 163, PICCADILLY, LONDON, W.


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