* ,*, V.. **'. -
THE ROSE AND THE RING.
MR. M. A. TITMARSH.
-" --- ." ,_ '_';
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POOR BULBO IS ORDERED FOR EXECUTION.
THE ROSE AND THE RING
HISTORY OF PRINCE GIGLIO AND PRINCE BULBO.
6A1 1 -irl-$brtrci for 65rcat alb *mll
BY W. M. THACKERAY.
A NEW EDITION.
SMITH, ELDER, & CO., 15 WATERLOO PLACE.
IT happened that the undersigned spent the last Christima,
season in a foreign city where there were many English chil-
In that city, if you wanted to give a child's party, you
could not even get a magic lantern or buy Twelfth-Night
characters-those funny painted pictures of the King, the
Queen, the Lover, the Lady, the Dandy, the Captain, and so
on-with which our young ones are wont to recreate them-
sAlves at this festive time.
My friend, Miss Bunch, who was governess of a large
family, that lived in the Piano Nobile of the house inhabited
by myself and my young charges (it was the Palazzo Ponia-
towski at Rome, and Messrs. Spilhnann, two of the best pastry-
cooks in Christendom, have their shop on the ground-floor) ;
Miss Bunch, I say, begged me to draw a set of Twelfth-
Night characters for the amusement of our young people.
She is a lady of great fancy and droll imagination, and
having looked at the characters, she and I composed a history
about them, which was recited to the little folks at night, and
served as our FIRE-SIDE PANTOMIME.
Our juvenile audience was amused by the adventures of
Giglio and Bulbo, Rosalba and Angelica. I am bound to say
the fate of the Hall Porter created a considerable sensation
and the wrath of Countess Gruffanuff was received with
If these children are pleased, thought I, why should not
others be amused also? In a few days Dr. Birch's young
friends will be expected to re-assemble at Rodwell Regis.
where they will learn everything that is useful, and under the
eyes of careful ushers continue the business of their little
But, in the meanwhile, and for a brief holiday, let us
laugh and be as pleasant as we can. And you elder folks-
a little joking, and dancing, and fooling will do even you no
harm. The author wishes you a merry Christmas, and wel-
comes you to the Fire-side Pantomime.
M. A. TITMARSH.
HERE BEGINS THE PANTOMIME.
THE ROSE AND THE RING.
SHOWS HOW THE ROYAL FAMILY SATE DOWN TO BREAKFAST.
THIS is Valoroso XXIV., King of Paflagonia, seated with
his Queen and only child at their royal breakfast-table, and
receiving the letter which announces to his M6i. -ly a pro-
posed visit from Prince Bulbo, heir of Padella, reigning King
of Crim Tartary. Remark the delight upon the monarch's
royal features. He is so absorbed in the perusal of the King
of Crim Tartary's letter, that he allows his eggs to get cold,
and leaves his august muffins untasted.
ROYAL FOLKS AT BREAKFAST TIME.
"What! that wicked, brave, delightful Prince Bulbo!"
cries Princess Angelica; so handsome, so accomplished, so
witty-the conqueror of Rimbombamento, where he slew ten
thousand giants !"
Who told you of him, my dear?" asks his Majesty.
A little bird," says Angelica.
"Poor Giglio !" says mamma, pouring out the tea.
"Bother Giglio !" cries Angelica, tossing up her head,
which rustled with a thousand curl-papers.
"I wish," growls the King-" I wish Giglio was .... ."
"Was better? Yes, dear, he is better," says the Queen.
Angelica's little maid, Betsinda, told me so when she came
to my room this morning with my early tea."
"You are always drinking tea," said the Monarch, with a
"It is better than drinking port or brandy-and-water,"
replies her 3M.,. -y.
Well, well, my dear, I only said you were fond of drink-
ing tea," said the King of Paflagonia, with an effort as if to
command his temper. "Angelica I hope you have plenty of
new dresses; your milliners' bills are long enough. My dear
Queen, you must see and have some parties. I prefer dinners,
but of course you will be for balls. Your everlasting blue
velvet quiet tires me: and, my love, I should like you to have
a new necklace. Order one. Not more than a hundred or
a hundred and fifty thousand pounds."
"And Giglio, dear," says the Queen.
GIGLIO MAY GO TO THE "
"Oh, sir," screams her Majesty. "Your 'own nephew!
our late King's only son."
"Giglio may go to the tailor's, and order the bills to be
sent in to Glumboso to pay. Confound him I mean bless
his dear heart. He need want for nothing; give him a
couple of guineas for pocket-money, my dear; and you may
AWFUL CONSEQUENCE OF CRIME !
as well order yourself bracelets, while you are about the
necklace, Mrs. V."
Her Majesty, or Mrs. V., as the monarch facetiously called
her (for even royalty will have its sport, and this august family
were very much attached), embraced her husband, and, twin-
ing her arm round her daughter's waist, they quitted the
breakfast-room in order to make all things ready for the
When they were gone, the smile that had lighted up the
eyes of the husband and father fled-the pride of the King
fled-the MAN was alone. Had I the pen of a G. P. R. James,
I would describe Valoroso's torments in the choicest language;
in which I would also depict his flashing eye, his distended
nostril- his dressing-gown, pocket-handkerchief, and boots.
But I need not say I have not the pen of that novelist;
suffice it to say, Valoroso was alone.
He rushed to the cupboard, seizing from the table one of
the many egg-cups with which his princely board was served
for the matin meal, drew out a bottle of right Nantz or
Cognac, filled and emptied the cup several times, and laid it
down with a hoarse Ha, ha, ha! now Valoroso is a man
"But oh !" he went on, (still sipping, I am sorry to say,)
ere I was a king, I needed not this intoxicating draught;
once I detested the hot brandy wine, and quaffed no other
fount but nature's rill. It dashes not more quickly o'er the
rocks, than I did, as, with blunderbuss in hand, I brushed
away the early morning dew, and shot the partridge, snipe, or
antlered deer Ah well may England's dramatist remark,
'Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown!' Why did I steal
my nephew's, my young Giglio's- ? Steal! said I? no,
no, no, not steal, not steal. Let me withdraw that odious ex-
pression. I took, and on my manly head I set, the royal crown
of Paflagonia; I took, and with my royal arm I wield, the
AH, I FEAR, KING VALOROSO,
sceptral rod of Paflagonia; I took, and in my outstretched
hand I hold, the royal orb of Paflagonia Could a poor boy,
a snivelling, drivelling boy-was in his nurse's arms but yes-
terday, and cried for sugar-plums and puled for pap-bear
up the awful weight of crown, orb, sceptre ? gird on the
sword my royal fathers wore, and meet in fight the tough
Crimean foe ?"
And then the monarch went on to argue in his own mind
(though we need not say that blank verse is not argument)
that what he had got it was his duty to keep, and that, if at
one time he had entertained ideas of a certain restitution,
which shall be nameless, the prospect by a certain marriage of
uniting two crowns and two nations which had been engaged
in bloody and expensive wars, as the Paflagonians and the
Crimeans had been, put the idea of Giglio's restoration to the
throne out of the question: nay, were his own brother, King
Savio, alive, he would certainly will away the crown from his
own son in order to bring about such a desirable union.
Thus easily do we deceive ourselves Thus do we fancy
what we wish is right The King took courage, read the
papers, finished his muffins and eggs, and rang the bell for
his Prime Minister. The Queen, after thinking whether she
should go up and see Giglio, who had been sick, thought
"Not now. Business first; pleasure afterwards. I will go
and see dear Giglio this afternoon; and now I will drive to
the jeweller's, to look for the necklace and bracelets." The
Princess went up into her own room, and made Betsinda, her
maid, bring out all her dresses; and as for Giglio, they forgot
him as much as I forget what I had for dinner last Tuesday
THAT YOUR CONDUCT IS BUT SO-SO!
HOW KING VALOROSO GOT THE CROWN, AND PRINCE GIGLIO
PAFLAGONIA, ten or twenty thousand years ago, appears to
have been one of those kingdoms where the laws of succession
were not settled for when King Savio died, leaving his bro-
ther Regent of the kingdom, and guardian of Savio's orphan
infant, this unfaithful regent took no sort of regard of the
late monarch's will; had himself proclaimed sovereign of Pa-
flagonia under the title of King Valoroso XXIV., had a most
splendid coronation, and ordered all the nobles of the kingdom
to pay him homage. So long as Valoroso gave them plenty of
balls at Court, plenty of money and lucrative places, the Pafla-
gonian nobility did not care who was king; and, as for the
people, in those early times they were equally indifferent. The
Prince Giglio, by reason of his tender age at his royal father's
death, did not feel the loss of his crown and empire. As long
as he had plenty of toys and sweetmeats, a holiday five times a
week, and a horse and gun to go out shooting when he grew
a little older, and, above all, the company of his darling
cousin, the King's only child, poor Giglio was perfectly con-
tented; nor did he envy his uncle the royal robes and sceptre,
the great hot uncomfortable throne of state, and the enormous
cumbersome crown in which that monarch appeared from
morning till night. King Valoroso's portrait has been left to
HERE BEHOLD THE MONARCH SIT,
us; and I think you will agree with me that he must have
been sometimes rather tired of his velvet, and his diamonds,
and his ermine, and his grandeur. I shouldn't like to sit in
that stifling robe, with such a thing as that on my head.
--- ---. c.
WITH HER MAJESTY OPPOSITE.
No doubt, the Queen must have been lovely in her youth;
for though she grew rather stout in after life, yet her features,
as shown in her portrait, are certainly pleasing. If she was
fond of flattery, scandal, cards, and fine clothes, let us deal
HOW THE MONARCH RULED HIS NATION.
gently with her infirmities, which, after all, may be no greater
than our own. She was kind to her nephew; and if she had
any scruples of conscience about her husband's taking the
young Prince's crown, consoled herself by thinking that the
King, though a usurper, was a most respectable man, and that
at his death Prince Giglio would be restored to his throne, and
share it with his cousin, whom he loved so fondly.
The Prime Minister was Glumboso, an old statesman, who
most cheerfully swore fidelity to King Valoroso, and in whose
hands the monarch left all the affairs of his kingdom. All
Valoroso wanted was plenty of money, plenty of hunting,
plenty of flattery, and as little trouble as possible. As long
as he had his sport, this monarch cared little how his people
paid for it: he engaged in some wars, and of course the
P.ll .i..ln :n newspapers announced that he gained prodigious
victories : he had statues erected to himself in every city of
the empire; and of course his pictures placed everywhere, and
m all the print-shops : he was Valoroso the Magnanimous,
Valoroso the Victorious, Valoroso the Great, and so forth;
- for even in these early early times courtiers and people
knew how to flatter.
This royal pair had one only child, the Princess Angelica,
who, you may be sure, was a paragon in the courtiers' eyes, in
her parents', and in her own. It was said she had the longest
hair, the largest eyes, the slimmest waist, the smallest foot,
and the most lovely complexion of any young lady in the Pa-
flagonian dominions. Her accomplishments were announced
to be even superior to her beauty; and governesses used to
shame their idle pupils by telling them what Princess Angelica
could do. She could play the most difficult pieces of music at
sight. She could answer any one of Mangal's Questions."
She knew every date in the history of Paflagonia, and every
other country. She knew French, English, Italian, German,
Spanish, Hebrew, Greek, Latin, Cappadocian, Samothracian,
GRUFFANUFF, AND WHAT HER STATION.
AEgean, and Crim Tartar. In a word, she was a most accom-
plished young creature; and her governess and lady-in-waiting
was the severe Countess Gruffanuff.
Would you not fancy, from this picture, that Gruffanuff
must have been a person of the highest birth? She looks so
haughty that I should have thought her a Princess at the very
least, with a pedigree reaching as far back as the Deluge. But
BEWARE OF PRIDE WITHOUT A CAUSE.
this lady was no better born than many other ladies who give
themselves airs; and all sensible people laughed at her absurd
pretensions. The fact is, she had been maid-servant to the
Queen when her Majesty was only Princess, and her husband
had been head footman; but after his death or disappearance,
of which you shall hear presently, this Mrs. Gruffanuff, by
flattering, toadying, and wheedling her royal mistress, became
a favourite with the Queen (who was rather a weak woman),
and her Majesty gave her a title, and made her nursery
governess to the Princess.
And now I must tell you about the Princess's learning and
accomplishments, for which she had such a wonderful cha-
racter. Clever Angelica certainly was, but as idle as possible.
Play at sight, indeed she could play one or two pieces, and
pretend that she had never seen them before; she could
answer half-a-dozen Mangnal's Questions ;" but then you
must take care to ask the right ones. As for her languages,
she had masters in plenty, but I doubt whether she knew
more than a few phrases in each, for all her pretence; and as
for her embroidery and her drawing, she showed beautiful
specimens, it is true, but who did them ?
This obliges me to tell the truth, and to do so I must go
back ever so far, and tell you about the FAIRY BLACKSTICK.
WHO THE FAIRY BLACKSTICK WAS.
TELLS WHO THE FAIRY BLACKSTICK WAS, AND WHO WERE EVER
SO MANY GRAND PERSONAGES BESIDES.
BETWEEN the kingdoms of Paflagonia and Crim Tartary,
there lived a mysterious personage, who was known in those
countries as the Fairy Blackstick, from the ebony wand or
crutch which she carried; on which she rode to the moon
sometimes, or upon other excursions of business or pleasure,
and with which she performed her wonders.
When she was young, and had been first taught the art of
conjuring, by the necromancer, her father, she was always
practising her skill, whizzing about from one kingdom to
another upon her black stick, and conferring her fairy favours
upon this Prince or that. She had scores of royal godchil-
dren; turned numberless wicked people into beasts, birds,
millstones, clocks, pumps, bootjacks, umbrellas, or other ab-
surd shapes; and in a word was one of the most active and
officious of the whole College of fairies.
But after two or three thousand years of this sport, I sup-
pose Blackstick grew tired of it. Or perhaps she thought,
"What good am I doing by sending this Princess to sleep
for a hundred years ? by fixing a black pudding on to that
booby's nose? by causing diamonds and pearls to drop from
one little girl's mouth, and vipers and toads from another's?
I begin to think I do as much harm as good by my perform-
ances. I might as well shut my incantations up, and allow
things to take their natural course.
"There were my two young goddaughters, King Savio's
wife, and Duke Padella's wife: I gave them each a present,
FAIRY ROSES, FAIRY RINGS,
which was to render them charming in the eyes of their hus.
bands, and secure the affection of those gentlemen as long as
they lived. What good did my Rose and my Ring do these
two women? None on earth. From having all their whims
indulged by their husbands, they became capricious, lazy, ill-
humoured, absurdly vain, and leered and languished, and
fancied themselves irresistibly beautiful, when they were
really quite old and hideous, the ridiculous creatures They
used actually to patronise me when I went to pay them a
visit;--me, the Fairy Blackstick, who knows all the wisdom
of the necromancers, and who could have turned them into
baboons, and all their diamonds into strings of onions, by a
single wave of my rod!". So she locked up her books in her
cupboard, declined further magical performances, and scarcely
used her wand at all except as a cane to walk about with.
So when Duke Padella's lady had a little son (the Duke
was at that time only one of the principal noblemen in Grim
Tartary), Blackstick, although invited to the christening,
would not so much as attend; but merely sent her compli-
ments and a silver papboat for the baby, which was really not
worth a couple of guineas. About the same time the Queen
of Paflagonia presented his Majesty with a son and heir;
and guns were fired, the capital illuminated, and no end of
feasts ordained to celebrate the young Prince's birth. It was
thought the Fairy, who was asked to be his godmother, would
at least have presented him with an invisible jacket, a flying
horse, a Fortunatus's purse, or some other valuable token of
her favour; but instead, Blackstick went up to the cradle of
the child Giglio, when everybody was admiring him, and
complimenting his royal papa and mamma, and said, 'My
poor child, the best thing I can send you is a little misfor-
tune;" and this was all she would utter, to the disgust of
Giglio's parents, who died very soon after, when Giglio's
uncle took the throne, as we read in Chapter I.
TURN OUT SOMETIMES TROUBLESOME THINGS.
In like manner, when CAVOLFIORE, King of Crim Tartary,
had a christening of his only child, ROSALBA, the Fairy
Blackstick, who had been invited, was not more gracious
than in Prince Giglio's case. Whilst everybody was expati-
ating over the beauty of the darling child, and congratulating
its parents, the Fairy Blackstick looked very sadly at the
baby and its mother, and said, "My good woman- (for the
Fairy was very familiar, and no more minded a Queen than
a washerwoman)--my good woman, these people who are fol-
lowing you will be the first to turn against you; and, as for
this little lady, the best thing I can wish her is a little mis-
fortune." So she touched Rosalba with her black wand, looked
severely at the courtiers, motioned the Queen an adieu with
her hand, and sailed slowly up into the air out of window.
When she was gone, the Court people, who had been awed
and silent in her presence, began to speak. What an odious
Fairy she is (they said)-a pretty Fairy, indeed Why, she
went to the King of Paflagonia's christening, and pretended
to do all sorts of things for that family; and what has hap-
pened-the Prince, her godson, has been turned off his throne
by his uncle. Would we allow our sweet Princess to be de-
prived of her rights by any enemy? Never, never, never,
And they all shouted in a chorus, "Never, never, never,
Now, I should like to know, and how did these fine cour
tiers show their fidelity? One of King Cavolfiore's vassals,
the Duke Padella just mentioned, rebelled against the King,
who went out to chastise his rebellious subject. "Any one
rebel against our beloved and august Monarch cried the
courtiers; "any one resist him? Pooh! He is invincible,
irresistible. He will bring home Padella a prisoner, and tie
him to a donkey's tail, and drive him round the town, saying,
'This is the way the great Cavolfiore treats rebels.'"
14 FLATTERING COURTIERS MAKE POOR MARTYRS.
The King went forth to vanquish Padella; and the poor
Queen, who was a very timid, anxious creature, grew so
frightened and ill, that I am sorry to say she died; leaving
injunctions with her ladies to take care of the dear little
Rosalba.-Of course they said they would. Of course they
vowed they would die rather than any harm should happen to
the Princess. At first the "Crim Tartar Court Journal"
stated that the King was obtainin:u_ great victories over the
audacious rebel: then it was announced that the troops of
the infamous Padella were in flight: then it was said that the
royal army would soon come up with the enemy, and then-
then the news came that King Cavolfiore was vanquished and
slain by his Majesty, King Padella the First!
At this news, half the courtiers ran off to pay their duty
to the conquering chief, and the other half ran away, laying
hands on all the best articles in the palace; and poor little
Rosalba was left there quite alone-quite alone; and she
toddled from one room to another, crying, Countess!
Duchess (only she said 'Tountess, Duttess,' not being able
to speak plain) bring me my mutton sop; my Royal High-
ness hungy Tountess! Duttess! And she went from
the private apartments into the throne-room and nobody was
there;-and thence into the ball-room and nobody was there;
-and thence into the pages' room and nobody was there;-
and she toddled down the great staircase into the hall and
nobody was there;-and the door was open, and she went
into the court, and into the garden, and thence into the wil-
derness, and thence into the forest where the wild beasts live,
and was never heard of any more !
A piece of her torn mantle and one of her shoes were
found in the wood in the mouths of two lioness's cubs, whom
KING PADELLA and a royal hunting party shot-for he was
King now, and reigned over Crim Tartary. So the pool
WHO WAS KING OF THE CRIM TARTARS. 15
little Princess is done for," said he ; "well, what 's done can't
be helped. Gentlemen, let us go to luncheon !" And one
of the courtiers took up the shoe and put it in his pocket.
And there was an end of Rosalba!
4 ;~1 "
GRUFFANUFF IS SILENCED QUIT..
HOW BLACKSTICK WAS NOT ASKED TO THE PRINCESS ANGELICA'S
WHEN the Princess Angelica was born, her parents not
only did not ask the Fairy Blackstick to the christening party,
but gave orders to their porter, absolutely to refuse her if she
called. This porter's name was Gruffanuff, and he had been
selected for the post by their Royal Highnesses because he
was a very tall fierce man, who could say "Not at home" to
a tradesman or an unwelcome visitor with a rudeness which
frightened most such persons away. He was the husband of
that Countess whose picture we have just seen, and as long as
they were together they quarrelled from morning till night.
Now this fellow tried his rudeness once too often, as you shall
hear. For the Fairy Blackstick coming to call upon the
Prince and Princess, who were actually sitting at the open
drawing-room window, Gruffanuff not only denied them, but
made the most odious vulgar sign as he was going to slam the
door in the Fairy's face! "Git away, hold Blackstick!"
said he. "I tell you, Master and Missis ain't at home to
you:" and he was, as we have said, going to slam the door.
But the Fairy, with her wand, prevented the door being
shut; and Gruffanuff came out again in a fury, swearing in
the most abominable way, and asking the Fairy "whether she
thought he was a going to stay at that there door hall day?"
"You are going to stay at that door all day and all night,
and for many a long year," the Fairy said, very majestically;
DON'T YOU THINK SHE SERVED HIM RIGHT?
and Gruffanuff, coming out of the door, straddling before it
with his great calves, burst out laughing, and cried Ha, na,
ha! this is a good un! HIa-ah-what's this? Let me down
-O-o-H'm! and then he was dumb !
For, as the Fairy waved her wand over him, he felt himself
rising off the ground, and fluttering up against the door, and
then, as if a screw ran into his stomach, he felt a dreadful
ALL YE FOOTMEN RUDE AND ROUGH,
pain there, and was pinned to the door; and then his arms
flew up over his head; and his legs, after writhing about
wildly, twisted under his body; and he felt cold, cold, grow-
ing over him, as if he was turning into metal; and he said,
" O-o-H'm !" and could say no more, because he was
He was turned into metal! He was from being brazen,
brass! He was neither more nor less than a knocker! And
I 'il I
ping with icicles. And the postman came and rapped at him,
there he was, nailed to the door in the blazing summer day,
till he burned almost red hot; and there he was, nailed to the
door all the bitter winter nights, till his brass nose was drop-
ping with icicles. And the postman came and rapped at him,
and the vulgarest boy with a letter came and hit him up
against the door. And the King and Queen (Princess and
Prince they were then), coming home from a walk that even-
ing, the King said, Hullo, my dear! you have had a new
knocker put on the door. Why, it's rather like our Porter
WARNING TAKE BY GRUFFANUFF !
in the face What has become of that boozy vagabond ? "
And the housemaid came and scrubbed his nose with sand-
paper; and once, when the Princess Angelica's little sister
was born, he was tied up in an old kid glove; and another
night, some larking young men tried to wrench him off, and
put him to the most excruciating agony with a turnscrew.
And then the Queen had a fancy to have the colour of the
door altered, and the painters dabbed him over the mouth and
eyes, and nearly choked him, as they painted him pea-green.
I warrant he had leisure to repent of having been rude to the
Fairy Blackstick !
As for his wife, she did not miss him; and as he was always
guzzling beer at the public-house, and notoriously quarrelling
with his wife, and in debt to the tradesmen, it was supposed
he had run away from all these evils, and emigrated to Aus-
tralia or America. And when the Prince and Princess chose
to become King and Queen, they left their old house, and
nobody thought of the Porter any more.
20 HOW THE PRINCESS, AS SHE PLAYED,
HOW PRINCESS ANGELICA TOOK A LITTLE MAID.
ONE day, when the Princess Angelica was quite a little
girl, she was walking in the garden of the palace, with Mrs.
Gruffanuff, the governess, holding a parasol over her head, to
keep her sweet complexion from the freckles, and Angelica
was carrying a bun, to feed the swans and ducks in the royal
They had not reached the duck-pond, when there came
toddling up to them such a funny little girl! She had a
MET A LITTLE BEGGAR-MAID.
great quantity of hair blowing about her chubby little cheeks,
and looked as if she had not been washed or combed for ever
so long. She wore a ragged bit of a cloak, and had only one
"You little wretch, who let you in here?" asked Gruff-
"Dive me dat bun," said the little girl, me vely hungy."
Hungry! what is that ?" asked Princess Angelica, and
gave the child the bun.
"Oh, Princess !" says Gruffanuff, "how good, how kind,
how truly angelical you are See, your Majesties," she said
to the King and Queen, who now came up, along with their
nephew, Prince Giglio, "how kind the Princess is She met
this little dirty wretch in the garden-I can't tell how she
came in here, or why the guards did not shoot her dead at
the gate !-and the dear-darling of a Princess has given her
the whole of her bun "
I didn't want it," said Angelica.
"But you are a darling little angel all the same," says the
"Yes; I know I am," said Angelica. "Dirty little girl,
don't you think I am very pretty ?" Indeed, she had on the
finest of little dresses and hats; and, as her hair was care-
fully curled, she really looked very well.
Oh, pooty, pooty! says the little girl, capering about,
laughing, and dancing, and munching her bun; and as she
ate it she began to sing, "Oh what fun to have a plum bun !
how I wis it never was done!" At which, and her funny
accent, Angelica, Giglio, and the King and Queen began to
laugh very merrily.
I can dance as well as sing," says the little girl. I can
dance, and I can sing, and I can do all sorts of ting." And
she ran to a flower-bed, and, pulling a few polyanthuses,
rhododendrons, and other flowers, made herself a little wreath,
22 HOW THIS LITTLE BEGGAR-BABY
and danced before the King and Queen so drolly and prettily,
that everybody was delighted.
ho was your mother-who Were yor 'lit
big lioness my mudder neber heard of any udder." And
gr? --- s 'id -t'hI Qu e
,as ,yo moth o w,,-
The little gi. said, "Little lion was my rudder; great
big lioness my mudder; neber heard of any udder." And
big lioness my mudder; neber heard of any udder." And
DANCED AND SANG, AS DROLL AS MAY BE.
she capered away on her one shoe, and everybody was exceed-
So Angelica said to the Queen, Mamma, my parrot flew
away yesterday out of its cage, and I don't care any more
for any of my toys; and I think this funny little dirty child
will amuse me. I will take her home, and give her some of
my old frocks."
"Oh, the generous darling says Gruffanuff.
"Which I have worn ever so many times, and am quite
tired of," Angelica went on; "and she shall be my little
maid. Will you come home with me, little dirty girl? "
The child clapped her hands, and said, Go home with
you-yes You pooty Princess !-Have a nice dinner, and
wear a new dress !"
And they all laughed again, and took home the child to the
palace, where, when she was washed and combed, and had one
of the Princess's frocks given to her, she looked as handsome
as Angelica, almost. Not that Angelica ever thought so; for
this little lady never imagined that anybody in the world
could be as pretty, as good, or as clever as herself. In order
that the little girl should not become too proud and conceited,
Mrs. Graffanuff took her old ragged mantle and one shoe, and
put them into a glass box, with a card laid upon them, upon
which was written, These were the old clothes in which
little BETSINDA was found when the great goodness and admi-
rable kindness of her Royal Highness the Princess Angelica
received this little outcast." And the date was added, and
the box locked up.
For a while little Betsinda was a great favourite with the
Princess, and she danced, and sang, and made her little rhymes,
to amuse her mistress. But then the Princess got a monkey,
and afterwards a little dog, and afterwards a doll, and did not
care for Betsinda any more, who became very melancholy and
quiet, and sang no more funny songs, because nobody cared to
OF THE MISTRESS AND THE MAID,
hear her. And then, as she grew older, she was made a little
lady's-maid to the Princess; and though she had no wages,
she worked and mended, and put Angelica's hair in papers,
and was never cross when scolded, and was always eager to
please her mistress, and was always up early and to bed late,
and at hand when wanted, and in fact became a perfect little
maid. So the two girls grew up, and, when the Princess came
out, Betsinda was never tired of waiting on her; and made
her dresses better than the best milliner, and was useful in a
hundred ways. Whilst the Princess was having her masters,
Betsinda would sit and watch them; and in this way she
picked up a great deal of learning; for she was always awake,
though her mistress was not, and listened to the wise pro-
fessors when Angelica was yawning or thinking of the next
ball. And when the dancing-master came, Betsinda learned
along with Angelica; and when the music-master came, she
watched him, and practised the Princess's pieces when Ange-
lica was away at balls and parties; and when the drawing-
master came, she took note of all he said and did; and the
same with French, Italian, and all other languages--she
learned them from the teacher who came to Angelica. When
the Princess was going out of an evening she would say, My
good Betsinda, you may as well finish what I have begun."
" Yes, Miss," Betsinda would say, and sit down very cheerful,
not to finish what Angelica began, but to do it.
For instance, the Princess would begin a head of a warrior,
let us say, and when it was begun it was something like this.
WHILST ONE WORKED, THE OTHER PLAYED.
But when it was done, the warrior was like this
( :,.. -. ', -f
,.'. : ,
(only handsomer still if possible), and the Princess put her
name to the drawing; and the Court and King and Queen,
and above all poor Giglio, admired the picture of all things,
and said, "Was there ever a genius like Angelica ? So, I
am sorry to say, was it with the Princess's embroidery and
other accomplishments; and Angelica actually believed that
she did these things herself, and received all the flattery of
the Court as if every word of it was true. Thus she began to
think that there was no young woman in all the world equal
to herself, and that no young man was good enough for her.
As for Betsinda, as she heard none of these praises, she was
not puffed up by them, and being a most grateful, good-
natured girl, she was only too anxious to do everything which
might give her mistress pleasure. Now you begin to perceive
that Angelica had faults of her own, and was by no means
such a wonder of wonders as people represented her Royal
Highness to be.
SHOWS HOW GIGLIO EVINCES
HOW PRINCE GIGLIO BEHAVED HIMSELF.
AND now let us speak about Prince Giglio, the nephew of
the reigning monarch of Paflagonia. It has already been
stated, in page 1, that as long as he had a smart coat to wear,
a good horse to ride, and money in his pocket, or rather to
take out of his pocket, for he was very good-natured, my
young Prince did not care for the loss of his crown and
sceptre, being a thoughtless youth, not much inclined to
politics or any kind of learning. So his tutor had a sinecure.
Giglio would not learn classics or mathematics, and the Lord
Chancellor of Paflagonia, SQUARETOSO, pulled a very long face
IDLE TASTES LIKE OTHER PRINCES.
because the prince could not be got to study the Paflagonian
laws and constitution; but, on the other hand, the King's
gamekeepers and huntsmen found the Prince an apt pupil;
the dancing-master pronounced that he was a most elegant
and assiduous scholar; the First Lord of the Billiard Table
gave the most flattering reports of the Prince's skill; so did
the Groom of the Tennis Court; and as for the Captain of
the Guard and Fencing Master, the valiant and veteran
Count KUTASOFF HEDZOFF, he avowed that since he ran the
I I -IH .I ,
i ii. -_ i
General of Crim Tartary, the dreadful Grumbuskin, through
the body, he never had encountered so expert a swordsman
as Prince Giglio.
28 HOW HIS PRETTY COUSIN MEETS HIM,
I hope you do not imagine that there was any impropriety
in the Prince and Princess walking together in the palace
garden, and because Giglio kissed Angelica's hand in a polite
_A i -. .-d i
l. 'lhI,,, I,
--- --Ii-i' ^-l--I" ",, '
'1'-.. I I ,
manner. they are cousins; next, the Queen
manner. In the first place they are cousins; next, the Queen
is walking in the garden too (you cannot see her, for she
happens to be behind that tree), and her Majesty always
wished that Angelica and Giglio should marry: so did Giglio :
so did Angelica sometimes, for she thought her cousin very
handsome, brave, and good-natured: but then you know she
was so clever and knew so many things, and poor Giglio knew
AND HOW SAUCILY SHE TREATS HIM.
nothing, and had no conversation. When they looked at the
stars, what did Giglio know of the heavenly bodies? Once,
when on a sweet night in a balcony where they were stand-
ing, Angelica said, There is the Bear." Where? says
Giglio. "Don't be afraid, Angelica if a dozen bears come,
I will kill them rather than they shall hurt you." Oh, you
silly creature says she: "you are very good, but you are
not very wise." When they looked at the flowers, Giglio
was utterly unacquainted with botany, and had never heard of
Linnaus. When the butterflies passed, Giglio knew nothing
about them, being as ignorant of entomology as I am of
algebra. So you see, Angelica, though she liked Giglio
pretty well, despised him on account of his ignorance. I
think she probably valued her own learning rather too much;
but to think too well of one's self is the fault of people of all
ages and both sexes. Finally, when nobody else was there,
Angelica liked her cousin well enough.
King Valoroso was very delicate in health, and withal so
fond of good dinners (which were prepared for him by his
French cook, Marmitonio), that it was supposed he could not
,I 1 ~ .il
I i' I
I I -- .. I
30 MUCH I FEAR, WHEN HEARTS ARE ILL,
live long. Now the idea of anything happening to the King
struck the artful Prime Minister and the designing old lady-
in-waiting with terror. For, thought Glumboso and the
Countess, "when Prince Giglio marries his cousin and comes
to the throne, what a pretty position we shall be in, whom he
dislikes, and who have always been unkind to him. We shall
lose our places in a trice; Gruffanuff will have to give up
all the jewels, laces, snuff-boxes, rings, and watches which
belonged to the Queen, Giglio's mother; and Glumboso will
be forced to refund two hundred and seventeen thousand
millions, nine hundred and eighty-seven thousand, four hun-
dred and thirty-nine pounds, thirteen shillings, and sixpence
halfpenny, money left to Prince Giglio by his poor dear
father." So the Lady of Honour and the Prime Minister
hated Giglio because they had done him a wrong; and these
unprincipled people invented a hundred cruel stories about
poor Giglio, in order to influence the King, Queen, and
Princess against him; how he was so ignorant that he could
not spell the commonest words, and actually wrote Valoroso
Valloroso, and spelt Angelica with two l's; how he drank a
great deal too much wine at dinner, and was always idling in
the stables with the grooms; how he owed ever so much
money at the pastrycook's and the haberdasher's; how he
used to go to sleep at church; how he was fond of playing
cards with the pages. So did the Queen like playing cards;
*so did the King go to sleep at church, and eat and drink too
much; and, if Giglio owed a trifle for tarts, who owed him
two hundred and seventeen thousand millions, nine hundred
and eighty-seven thousand, four hundred and thirty-nine
pounds, thirteen shillings, and sixpence halfpenny, I should
like to know? Detractors and tale-bearers (in my humble
opinion) had much better look at home. All this back-biting
and slandering had effect upon Princess Angelica, who began
to look coldly on her cousin, then to laugh at him and scorn
SMALL S THE GOOD OF DOCTORS PILL.
him for being so stupid, then to sneer at him for having
vulgur associates; and at Court balls, dinners, and so forth,
to treat him so unkindly that poor Giglio became quite ill,
took to his bed, and sent for the doctor.
..f l jL ,,
His Majesty King Valoroso, as we have seen, had his own /
reasons for disliking his nephew; and as for those innocent
readers who ask why?-I beg (with the permission of their
dear parents) to refer them to Shakspeare's pages, where
they will read why King John disliked Prince Arthur. With
the Queen, his royal but weak-minded aunt, when Giglio
was out of sight he was out of mind. While she had her
whist and her evening parties, she cared for little else.
I dare say two villains, who shall be nameless, wished
Doctor Pildrafto, the Court Physician, had killed Giglio right
32 FOLKS WITH WHOM WE 'RE ALL ACQUAINTED
out, but he only bled and physicked him so severely, that the
Prince was kept to his room for several months, and grew as
thin as a post.
Whilst he was lying sick in this way, there came to the
Court of Paflagonia a famous painter, whose name was Tomaso
Lorenzo, and who was Painter in Ordinary to the King of
Crim Tartary, Paflagonia's neighbour. Tomaso Lorenzo
painted all the Court, who were delighted with his works;
AREN'T SO HANDSOME AS THEY'RE PAINTED.
for even Countess Gruffanuff looked young and Glumboso
good-humoured in his pictures. He flatters very much,"
some people said. Nay !" says Princess Angelica, "I am
above flattery, and I think he did not make my picture hand-
some enough. I can't bear to hear a man of genius unjustly
cried down, and I hope my dear papa will make Lorenzo
a knight of his Order of the Cucumber."
The Princess Angelica, although the courtiers vowed her
Royal Highness could draw so beautifully that the idea of
her taking lessons was absurd, yet chose to have Lorenzo for
a teacher, and it was wonderful, as long as she painted in his
studio, what beautiful pictures she made Some of the per-
formances were engraved for the Book of Beauty: others
were sold for enormous sums at Charity Bazaars. She wrote
the signatures under the drawings, no doubt, but I think I
know who did the pictures--this artful painter, who had come
with other designs on Angelica than merely to teach her to
One day, Lorenzo showed the Princess a portrait of a
young man in armour, with fair hair and the loveliest blue
eyes, and an expression at once melancholy and interesting.
"Dear Signor Lorenzo, who is this?" asked the Princess.
"I never saw any one so handsome," says Countess Gruffanuff
(the old humbug).
"That," said the painter, "that, madam, is the portrait of
my august young master, his Royal Highness Bulbo, Crown
Prince of Crim Tartary, Duke of Acroceraunia, Marquis of
Poluphloisboio, and Knight Grand Cross of the Order of the
Pumpkin. That is the Order of the Pumpkin glittering on
his manly breast, and received by his Royal Highness from
his august father, his Majesty King PADELLA I., for his
gallantry at the battle of Rimbombamento, when he slew
with his own princely hand the King of Ograria and two
hundred and eleven giants of the two hundred and eighteen
34 O YOU PAINTER, HOW YOU FLATTER!
who formed the Kings' body-guard. The remainder were
destroyed by the brave Crim Tartar army after an obstinate
combat, in which the Crim Tartars suffered severely."
(lT 11 / ./
1 1 e
What a Prince! thought Angelica: so brave-so calm-
looking-so young-what a hero !
He is as accomplished as he is brave," continued the
Court Painter. "He knows all languages perfectly: sings
deliciously: plays every instrument: composes operas which
: ,''-' ,Il/ II
,, i : i.
Hei aao ie e cnu,
Court Painter. "He knows all languages perfectly: sings
deliciously: plays every instrument: composes operas which
SURE HE MUST BE LAUGHING AT HER
have been acted a thousand nights running at the Imperial
Theatre of Crim Tartary, and danced in a ballet there before
the King and Queen; in which he looked so beautiful, that
his cousin, the lovely daughter of the King of Circassia, died
for love of him."
"Why did he not marry the poor Princess ?" asked
Angelica, with a sigh.
Because they were first cousins, Madam, and the clergy
forbid these unions," said the Painter. And, besides, the
young Prince had given his royal heart elsewhere."
"And to whom ?" asked her Royal Highness.
"I am not at liberty to mention the Princess's name,"
answered the Painter.
"But you may tell me the first letter of it," gasped out
"That your Royal Highness is at liberty to guess," says
"Does it begin with a Z ? asked Angelica.
The Painter said it wasn't a Z; then she tried a Y; then
an X; then a W, and went so backwards through almost the
When she came to D, and it wasn't D, she grew very much
excited; when she came to C, and it wasn't C, she was still
more nervous; when she came to B, and it wasn't B, 0,
dearest Gruffanuff," she said, "lend me your smelling-
bottle !" and, hiding her head in the Countess's shoulder,
she faintly whispered, "Ah, Signor, can it be A ?"
"It was A; and though I may not, by my Royal Master's
orders, tell your Royal Highness the Princess's name, whom
he fondly, madly, devotedly, rapturously loves, I may show
you her portrait," says the slyboots: and leading the Princess
up to a gilt frame, he drew a curtain which was before it.
O goodness, the frame contained A LOOKING GLASS and
Angelica saw her own face !
OTHER GIRLS, THE AUTHOR GUESSES,
HOW GIGLIO AND ANGELICA HAD A QUARREL.
THE Court Painter of his Majesty the King of Crim
Tartary returned to that monarch's dominions, carrying
away a number of sketches which he had made in the Pafla-
gonian capital (you know, of course, my dears, that the name
of that capital is Blombodinga) ; but the most charming of all
his pieces was a portrait of the Princess Angelica, which all
the Crim Tartar nobles came to see. With this work the
King was so delighted, that he decorated the Painter with
his Order of the Pumpkin (sixth class), and the artist be-
came Sir Tomaso Lorenzo, K.P., thenceforth.
King Valoroso also sent Sir Tomaso his Order of the
Cucumber, besides a handsome order for money, for he
painted the King, Queen, and principal nobility while at
Blombodinga, and became all the fashion, to the perfect rage
of all the artists in Paflagonia, where the King used to point
to the portrait of Prince Bulbo, which Sir Tomaso had left
behind him, and say, Which among you can paint a picture
like that? "
It hung in the royal parlour over the royal sideboard, and
Princess Angelica could always look at it as she sat making
the tea. Each day it seemed to grow handsomer and hand-
somer, and the Princess grew so fond of looking at it, that
she would often spill the tea over the cloth, at which her
father and mother would wink and wag their heads, and say
to each other, Aha we see how things are going."
In the meanwhile poor Giglio lay up stairs very sick in his
LOVE TO FLIRT BESIDES PRINCESSES.
chamber, though he took all the doctor's horrible medicines
like a good young lad; as I hope you do, my dears, when you
are ill and mamma sends for the medical man. And the only
person who visited Giglio (besides his friend the captain of
the guard, who was almost always busy or on parade), was
little Betsinda the housemaid, who used to do his bed-room
and sitting-room out, bring him his gruel, and warm his bed.
When the little housemaid came to him in the morning
and evening, Prince Giglio used to say, "Betsinda, Betsinda,
how is the Princess Angelica?"
And Betsinda used to answer, "The Princess is very well,
thank you, my Lord." And Giglio would heave a sigh, and
think, if Angelica were sick I am sure I should not be very
Then Giglio would say, Betsinda, has the Princess Ange-
lica asked for me to-day ?" And Betsinda would answer, No,
my Lord, not to-day;" or, "she was very busy practising the
piano when I saw her;" or, "she was writing invitations for
an evening party, and did not speak to me:" or make some
excuse or other, not strictly consonant with truth: for Bet-
sinda was such a good-natured creature, that she strove to do
everything to prevent annoyance to Prince Giglio, and even
brought him up roast chicken and jellies from the kitchen
(when the Doctor allowed them, and Giglio was getting better),
saying, "that the Princess had made the jelly or the bread
sauce, with her own hands, on purpose for Giglio."
When Giglio heard this he took heart, and began to mend
immediately; and gobbled up all the jelly, and picked the
last bone of the chicken-drumsticks, merry-thought, sides'-
bones, back, pope's-nose, and all-thanking his dear Ange-
lica: and he felt so much better the next day, that he dressed
and went down stairs, where, whom should he meet but
Angelica going into the drawing-room. All the covers were
off the chairs, the chandeliers taken out of the bags, the
OTHER FOLKS, AS WELL AS THEY,
damask curtains uncovered, the work and things carried away,
and the handsomest albums on the tables. Angelica had her
hair in papers: in a word, it was evident there was going to
be a party.
Heavens, Giglio !" cries Angelica: "you here in such a
dress! What a figure you are!"
"Yes, dear Angelica, I am come down stairs, and feel so
well to-day, thanks to the fowl and the jelly."
"What do I know about fowls and jellies, that you allude
to them in that rude way?" says Angelica.
"Why, didn't-didn't you send them, Angelica dear?"
I send them indeed Angelica dear! No, Giglio dear,"
says she, mocking him, "I was engaged in getting the rooms
ready for his Royal Highness the Prince of Crim Tartary,
who is coming to pay my papa's Court a visit."
"The-Prince-of-Crim-Tartary !" Giglio said, aghast.
"Yes, the Prince of Crim Tartary," says Angelica, mock-
ing him. "I dare say you never heard of such a country.
What did you ever hear of ? You don't know whether Crim
Tartary is on the Red Sea or on the Black Sea, I dare say."
"Yes, I do, it's on the Red Sea," says Giglio, at which the
Princess burst out laughing at him, and said, "0 you ninny !
You are so ignorant, you are really not fit for society You
know nothing but about horses and dogs, and are only fit to
dine in a mess-room with my Royal Father's heaviest dra-
goons. Don't look so surprised at me, sir: go and put your
best clothes on to receive the Prince, and let me get the
Giglio said, "0, Angelica, Angelica, I didn't think this of
you. This wasn't your language to me when you gave me
this ring, and I gave you mine in the garden, and you gave
me that k-"
But what k was we never shall Know, for Angelica, in a
BLINDLY FLING GOOD LUCK AWAY.
rage, cried, Get out, you saucy, rude creature How dare
you to remind me of your rudeness? As for your little
trumpery twopenny ring, there, sir, there I" And she flung
it out of the window.
It was my mother's marriage ring," cried Giglio.
"I don't care whose marriage ring it was," cries Angelica.
"Marry the person who picks it up if she's a woman, you
shan't marry me. And give me back my ring. I 've no pa-
tience with people who boast about the things they give away !
I know who 'll give me much finer things than you ever gave
me. A beggarly ring indeed, not worth five shillings !"
Now Angelica little knew that the ring which Giglio had
given her was a fairy ring : if a man wore it, it made all the
women in love with him; if a woman, all the gentlemen.
The Queen, Giglio's mother, quite an ordinary looking per-
son, was admired immensely whilst she wore this ring, and
her husband was frantic when she was ill. But when she
called her little Giglio to her, and put the ring on his finger,
King Savio did not seem to care for his wife so much any
more, but transferred all his love to_little Giglio. So did
everybody love him as long as he had'the ring; but when, as
quite a child, he gave it to Angelica, people began to love
and admire her; and Giglio, as the saying is, played only
"Yes," says Angelica, going on in her foolish ungrateful
way, "I know who '11 give me much finer things than your
beggarly little pearl nonsense."
Very good, Miss You may take back your ring, too !"
says Giglio, his eyes flashing fire at her, and then, as if his
eyes had been suddenly opened, he cried out, Ha! what
does this mean ? Is this the woman I have been in love with
all my life? Have I been such a ninny as to throw away my
regard upon you? Why actually --yes-you are a little
FLOURISH TRUMPETS! RATTLE DRUMS!
0, you wretch !" cries Angelica.
"And, upon my conscience, you-you squint a little."
"Eh !" cries Angelica.
"And your hair is red -and you are marked with the
small-pox-and what? you have three false teeth-and one
leg shorter than the other "
"You brute, you brute, you!" Angelica screamed out:
and as she seized the ring with one hand, she dealt Giglio
one, two, three smacks on the face, and would have pulled
the hair off his head had he not started laughing, and crying,
"0 dear me, Angelica, don't pull out my hair, it hurts !
You might remove a great deal of your own, as I perceive,
without scissors or pulling at all. O, ho, ho! ha, ha, ha!
he, he, he "
And he nearly choked himself with laughing, and she with
rage, when, with a low bow, and dressed in his Court habit,
Count Gambabella, the first lord-in-waiting, entered and
said, "Royal Highnesses Their Majesties expect you in
the Pink Throne-room, where they await the arrival of the
Prince of CRIME TARTARY."
ROYAL BULBO THIS WAY COMES
HOW GRUFFANUFF PICKED THE FAIRY RING UP, AND PRINCE
BULBO CAME TO COURT.
PRINCE BULBO'S arrival had set all the Court in a flutter:
everybody was ordered to put his or her best clothes on: the
footmen had their gala liveries; the Lord Chancellor his new
wig; the Guards their last new tunics; and Countess Gruff-
anuff you may be sure was glad of an opportunity of deco-
rating her old person with her finest things. She was walking
through the court of the Palace on her way to wait upon
their Majesties, when she spied something glittering on the
pavement, and bade the boy in buttons who was holding up
her train, to go and pick up the article shining yonder. He
was an ugly little wretch, in some of the late groom-porter's
old clothes cut down, and much too tight for him; and yet,
when he had taken up the ring (as it turned out to be), and
was carrying it to his mistress, she thought he looked like a
little Cupid. He gave the ring to her; it was a trumpery
little thing enough, but too small for any of her old knuckles,
so she put it into her pocket.
0, mum!" says the boy, looking at her, "how, how
beyoutiful you do look, mum, to-day, mum !"
And you, too, Jacky," she was going to say; but, look-
ing down at him-no, he was no longer good-looking at all
-but only the carotty-haired little Jacky of the morning.
However, praise is welcome from the ugliest of men or boys,
42 FRIENDS, IF WE WERE PRINCES TOO,
and Gruffanuff, bidding the boy hold up her train, walked on
in high good-humour. The guards saluted her with peculiar
.,jI -' _--
'" T --- -- -- "-' q ,, i, ,i ,' -" --
respect. Captain Hedzoff, in the ante-room, said, "My dear
madam, you look like an angel to-day." And so, bowing
and smirking, Gruffanuff went in and took her place behind
her Royal Master and Mistress, who were in the throne-room,
awaiting the Prince of Crim Tartary. Princess Angelica sat
lI ii'' I I I
q II I
Y:') .- -111 .. -
HIS RH. IITHE PRINCE OF CRIM TARTAR.
[To fac, p. 4.
DRUMS WOULD BEAT FOR ME AND YOU.
at their feet, and behind the King's chair stood Prince Giglio,
looking very savage.
The Prince of Crim Tartary made his appearance, attended
by Baron Sleibootz, his chamberlain, and followed by a black
page, carrying the most beautiful crown you ever saw He
was dressed in his travelling costume, and his hair, as you
see, was a little in disorder. "I have ridden three hundred
miles since breakfast," said he, so eager was I to behold
the Prin-the Court and august family of Paflagonia, and I
could not wait one minute before appearing in your Majesties'
Giglio, from behind the throne, burst out into a roar of
contemptuous laughter; but all the Royal party, in fact,
were so flurried, that they did not hear this little outbreak.
"Your R. H. is welcome in any dress," says the King.
"Glumboso, a chair for his Royal Highness."
"Any dress his Royal Highness wears is a Court dress,"
says Princess Angelica, smiling graciously.
Ah! but you should see my other clothes," said the
Prince. "I should have had them on, but that stupid carrier
has not brought them. Who's that laughing?"
It was Giglio laughing. "I was laughing," he said, "be-
cause you said just now that you were in such a hurry to see
the Princess, that you could not wait to change your dress;
and now you say you come in those clothes because you have
"And who are you? says Prince Bulbo, very fiercely.
"My father was King of this country, and I am his only
son, Prince !" replies Giglio, with equal haughtiness.
Ha !" said the King and Glumboso, looking very flurried;
but the former, collecting himself, said, "Dear Prince Bulbo,
I forgot to introduce to your Royal Highness my dear
nephew, his Royal Highness Prince Giglio! Know each
other Embrace each other i Giglio, give His Royal High-
GIGLIO'S JEALOUS OF THE CRIM-
ness your hand!" and Giglio, giving his hand, squeezed poor
Bulbo's until the tears ran out of his eyes. Glumboso now
brought a chair for the Royal visitor, and placed it on the
platform on which the King, Queen, and Prince were seated;
but the chair was on the edge of the platform, and as Bulbo
sat down, it toppled over, and he with it, rolling over and
over, and bellowing like a bull. Giglio roared still louder at
this disaster, but it was with laughter; so did all the Court
when Prince Bulbo got up; for though when he entered the
room he appeared not very ridiculous, as he stood up from his
fall for a moment, he looked so exceedingly plain and foolish,
that nobody could help laughing at him. When he had
entered the room, he was observed to carry a rose in his
hand, which fell out of it as he tumbled.
My rose my rose cried Bulbo; and his chamberlain
dashed forwards and picked it up, and gave it to the Prince,
who put it in his waistcoat. Then people wondered why they
had laughed; there was nothing particularly ridiculous in him.
He was rather short, rather stout, rather red-haired, but, in
fine, for a Prince not so bad.
So they sat and talked, the royal personages together, the
Crim Tartar officers with those of Paflagonia-Giglio very
comfortable with Gruffanuff behind the throne. He looked
at her with such tender eyes, that her heart was all in a
flutter. Oh, dear Prince," she said, how could you speak
so haughtily in presence of their Majesties? I protest I
thought I should have fainted."
"I should have caught you in my arms," said Giglio,
"Why were you so cruel to Prince Bulbo, dear Prince ?"
"Because I hate him," says Gil.
You are jealous of him, and still love poor Angelica,"
cries Gruffanuff, putting her handkerchief to her eyes.
TARTAR PRINCE, AND LAUGHS AT HIM. 45
"I did, but I love her no more!" Giglio cried. "I
despise her Were she heiress to twenty thousand thrones,
I would despise her and scorn her. But why speak of thrones ?
I have lost mine. I am too weak to recover it-I am alone,
and have no friend."
Oh, say not so, dear Prince says Gruffanuff.
"Besides," says he, I am so happy here behind the throne,
that I would not change my place, no, not for the throne of
the world! "
( What are you two people chattering about there? says
the Queen, who was rather good-natured, though not over-
burthened with wisdom. "It is time to dress for dinner.
Giglio, show Prince Bulbo to his room. Prince, if your
clothes have not come, we shall be very happy to see you as
you are." But when Prince Bulbo got to his bed-room, his
luggage was there and unpacked; and the hairdresser coming
in, cut and curled him entirely to his own satisfaction; and
when the dinner-bell rang, the royal company had not to
46 HERE A PRETTY FIGURE FOR LAUGHTER!
wait above five-and-twenty minutes until Bulbo appeared,
during which time the King, who could not bear to wait,
grew as sulky as possible. As for Giglio, he never left Madam
Gruffanuff all this time, but stood with her in the embrasure
of a window, paying her compliments. At length the Groom
of the Chambers announced his Royal Highness the Prince
of Crim Tartary and the noble company went into the royal
dining-room. It was quite a small party; only the King and
II II i i i \
II I "i .
HOW THEY DINED AND QUARRELLED AFTER.
Queen, the Princess, whom Bulbo took out, the two Princes,
Countess Gruffanuff, Glumboso the Prime Minister, and
Prince Bulbo's chamberlain. You may be sure they had a
very good dinner-let every boy or girl think of what he or
she likes best, and fancy it on the table.*
The Princess talked incessantly all dinner time to the
Prince of Crimea, who ate an immense deal too much, and
never took his eyes off his plate, except when Giglio, who
was carving a goose, sent a quantity of stuffing and onion
sauce into one of them. Giglio only burst out a laughing as
the Crimean Prince wiped his shirt-front and face with his
scented pocket-handkerchief. He did not make Prince Bulbo
any apology. When the Prince looked at him, Giglio would
not look that way. When Prince Bulbo said, Prince Giglio,
may I have the honour of taking a glass of wine with you?"
Giglio wouldn't answer. All his talk and his eyes were for
Countess Gruffanuff, who you may be sure was pleased with
Giglio's attentions-the vain old creature! When he was
not complimenting her, he was making fun of Prince Bulbo,
so loud that Gruffanuff was always tapping him with her fan,
and saying, "0 you satirical Prince O fie, the Prince will
hear!" Well, I don't mind," says Giglio, louder still.
The King and Queen luckily did not hear; for her Majesty
was a little deaf, and the King thought so much about his
own dinner, and, besides, made such a dreadful noise, hob-
gobbling in eating it, that he heard nothing else. After
dinner, his Majesty and the Queen went to sleep in their
This was the time when Giglio began his tricks with Prince
Bulbo, plying that young gentleman with port, sherry,madeira,
champagne, marsala, cherry brandy, and pale ale, of all of
Here a very pretty game may be played by all the children saying
what they like best for dinner.
READ-AND TAKE A WARNING BY'T,
which Master Bulbo drank without stint. But in plying his
guest, Giglio was obliged to drink himself, and, I am sorry
to say, took more than was good for him, so that the young
men were very noisy, rude, and foolish when they joined the
ladies after dinner; and dearly did they pay for that impru-
dence, as now, my darlings, you shall hear !
Bulbo went and sat by the piano, where Angelica was
playing and singing, and he sang out of tune, and he upset
the coffee when the footman brought it, and he laughed out
of place, and talked absurdly, and fell asleep and snored
horridly. Booh, the nasty pig But as he lay there stretched
on the pink satin sofa, Angelica still persisted in thinking
him the most beautiful of human beings. No doubt the
magic rose which Bulbo wore, caused this infatuation on
Angelica's part; but is she the first young woman who has
thought a silly fellow charming?
Giglio must go and sit by Gruffanuff, whose old face he too
every moment began to find more lovely. He paid the most
outrageous compliments to her: There never was such a
darling-Older than he was?-Fiddle-de-dee! He would
marry her-he would having nothing but her !
To marry the heir to the throne Here was a chance I
The artful hussey actually got a sheet of paper, and wrote
upon it, "This is to give notice that I, Giglio, only son of
Savio, King of Paflagonia, hereby promise to marry the
charming and virtuous Barbara Griselda Countess Gruffanuff,
and widow of the late Jenkins Gruffanuff, Esq."
What is it you are writing ? you charming Gruffy !" says
Giglio, who was lolling on the sofa, by the writing-table.
"Only an order for you to sign, dear Prince, for giving
coals and blankets to the poor, this cold weather. Look!
the King and Queen are both asleep, and your Royal High-
ness's order will do."
So Giglio, who was very good-natured, as Gruffy well knew,
HAVE GOOD CARE OF WHAT YOU WRITE.
signed the order immediately; and, when she had it in her
pocket, you may fancy what airs she gave herself. She was
ready to flounce out of the room before the Queen herself,
as now she was the wife of the rightful King of Paflagonia !
She would not speak to Glumboso, whom she thought a brute,
for depriving her dear husband of the crown And when
candles came, and she had helped to undress the Queen and
iI I ____
Princess, she went into her own room, and actually prac-
tised, on a sheet of paper, Griselda Paflagonia," Barbara
Regina," Griselda Barbara, Paf. Reg.," and I don't know
what signatures besides, against the day when she should be
POOR BETSINDA! MUCH 1 FEAR,
HOW BETSINDA GOT THE WARMING-PAN.
LITTLE Betsinda came in to put Gruffanuff's hair in papers;
and the Countess was so pleased, that, for a wonder, she com-
plimented Betsinda. "Betsinda !" she said, "you dressed
my hair very nicely to-day; I promised you a little present.
Here are five sh- no, here is a pretty little ring, that I
picked-that I have had some time." And she gave Betsinda
the ring she had picked up in the court. It fitted Betsinda
It's like the ring the Princess used to wear," says the
"No such thing," says Gruffanuff, "I have had it this
ever so long. There-tuck me up quite comfortable; and
now, as it's a very cold night (the snow was beating in at the
window), you may go and warm dear Prince Giglio's bed,
like a good girl, and then you may unrip my green silk, and
then you can just do me up a little cap for the morning, and
then you can mend that hole in my silk stocking, and then
you can go to bed, Betsinda. Mind, I shall want my cup of
tea at five o'clock in the morning."
"I suppose I had best warm both the young gentlemen's
beds, ma'am," says Betsinda.
Gruffanuff, for reply, said, "Hau-au-ho !-Grau-haw-hoo !
-Hong-hrho In fact, she was snoring sound asleep.
Her room, you know, is next to the King and Queen, and
the Princess is next to them. So pretty Betsinda went away
for the coals to the kitchen, and filled the royal warming-pan.
Now, she was a very kind, merry, civil, pretty girl; but
GRIEF'S IN STORE FOR YOU, MY DEAR !
there must have been something very captivating about her
this evening, for all the women in the servant's hall began to
scold and abuse her. The housekeeper said she was a pert,
stuck-up thing: the upper-housemaid asked, how dare she
wear such ringlets and ribbons, it was quite improper The
cook (for there was a woman-cook as well as a man-cook) said
to the kitchen-maid that she never could see anything in that
creetur: but as for the men, every one of them, Coachman,
John, Buttons the page, and Monsieur, the Prince of Crim
Tartary's valet, started up, and said-
My eyes "
O mussey .
S0 jemmy "What a pretty girl Betsinda is "
O jemmany "
Hands off; none of your impertinence, you vulgar, low
people says Betsinda, walking off with her pan of coals.
She heard the young gentlemen playing at billiards as she
went up stairs : first to Prince Giglio's bed, which she warmed,
and then to Prince Bulbo's room.
He came in just as she had done; and as soon as he san
her, 0! 0 0! 0! 0 0 what a beyou-oo-ootifu]
creature you are You angel-you peri-you rose-bud, lei
me be thy bulbul-thy Bulbo, too! Fly to the desert, fly
with me I never saw a young gazelle to glad me with its
dark blue eye that had eyes like thine. Thou nymph of
beauty, take, take this young heart. A truer never did itself
sustain within a soldier's waistcoat. Be mine! Be mine!
Be Princess of Crim Tartary My Royal father will approve
our union: and, as for that little carrotty-haired Angelica, I
do not care a fig for her any more."
"Go away, your Royal Highness, and go to bed, please,"
said Betsinda, with the warming-pan.
But Bulbo said, "No, never, till thou swearest to be mine,
thou lovely, 1,'iln-liu-, chamber-maid divine Here, at thy
JEALOUSY, IN SOME MEN'S SOULS,
feet, the Royal Bulbo lies, the trembling captive of Betsinda's
And he went on, making himself so absurd and ridiculous,
that Betsinda, who was full of fun, gave him 'a touch with
the warming-pan, which, I promise you, made him cry
O-o-o-o !" in a very different manner.
i I I I l l '
I 'I . I fl
"I i ii i. i ,' i
l7 1 'I', h -
Prince Bulbo made such a noise that Prince Giglio, who
heard him from the next room, came in to see what was the
matter. As soon as he saw what was taking place, Giglio,
in a fury, rushed on Bulbo, kicked him in the rudest manner
up to the ceiling, and went on kicking him till his hair was
quite out of curl.
Poor Betsinda did not know whether to laugh or to cry;
the kicking certainly must hurt the Prince, but then he
K ''; I~ i a1~1 1 ii
'~., II~ Ii
-'--71 RT II
j__-j I_._. .....
WARMER BURNS THAN PANS OF COALS.
looked so droll! When Giglio had done knocking him up
and down to the ground, and whilst he went into a corner
rubbing himself, what do you think Giglio does? He goes
down on his own knees to Betsinda, takes her hand, begs her
to accept his heart, and offers to marry her that moment.
Fancy Betsinda's condition, who had been in love with the
.Prince ever since she first saw him in the palace garden, when
she was quite a little child.
"Oh, divine Betsinda !" says the Prince, "how have I
lived fifteen years in thy company without seeing thy per-
fections? What woman in all Europe, Asia, Africa, and
America, nay, in Australia, only it is not yet discovered, can
presume to be thy equal? Angelica? Pish! Gruffanuff ?
Phoo! The Queen? Ha, ha Thou art my Queen. Thou
art the real Angelica, because thou art really angelic."
Oh, Prince! I am but a poor chambermaid," says Ange-
lica, looking, however, very much pleased.
Didst thou not tend me in my sickness, when all forsook
me ?" continues Giglio. "Did not thy gentle hand smooth
my pillow, and bring me jelly and roast chicken ? "
"Yes, dear Prince, I did," says Betsinda, and I sewed
your Royal Highness's shirt-buttons on too, if you please,
your Royal Highness," cries this artless maiden.
When poor Prince Bulbo, who was now madly in love with
Betsinda, heard this declaration, when he saw the unmistake-
able glances which she flung upon Giglio, Bulbo began to cry
bitterly, and tore quantities of hair out of his head, till it all
covered the room like so much tow.
Betsinda had left the warming-pan on the floor while the
princes were going on with their conversation, and as they
began now to quarrel and be very fierce with one another,
she thought proper to run away.
You great big blubbering booby, tearing your hair in the
corner there; of course you will give me satisfaction for in-
EVEN THOUGH YOU WEAR A CROWN,
suiting Betsinda. You dare to kneel down at Princess Giglio's
knees and kiss her hand "
She 's not Princess Giglio !" roars out Bulbo. She shall
be Princess Bulbo, no other shall be Princess Bulbo."
You are engaged to my cousin!" bellows out Giglio.
"I hate your cousin," says Bulbo.
"You shall give me satisfaction for insulting her cries
Giglio in a fury.
"I'11 have your life."
"I'11 run you through "
"I '11 cut your throat."
"I'11 blow your brains out."
I '11 knock your head off."
I'11 send a friend to you in the morning."
I '11 send a bullet into you in the afternoon."
We'll meet again," says Giglio, shaking his fist in Bulbo's
face; and seizing up the warming-pan, he kissed it, because,
forsooth, Betsinda had carried it, and rushed down stairs.
What should he see on the landing but his Majesty talking
to Betsinda, whom he called by all sorts of fond names. His
Majesty had heard a row in the building, so he stated, and
smelling something burning, had come out to see what the
"It's the young gentlemen smoking, perhaps, sir," says
Charming chambermaid," says the King (like all the rest
of them), "never mind the young men Turn thy eyes on a
middle-aged autocrat, who has been considered not ill-looking
in his time."
Oh, sir what will her Majesty say ?" cries Betsinda.
"Her Majesty 1" laughs the monarch. Her Majesty be
hanged. Am I not Autocrat of Paflagonia? Have I not
blocks, ropes, axes, hangmen-ha? Runs not a river by my
palace wall? Have I not sacks to sew up wives withal? Say
BURNING LOVE WILL KNOCK YOU DOWN.
but the word, that thou wilt be mine own,-your mistress
straightway in a sack is sewn, and thou the sharer of my heart
When Giglio heard these atrocious sentiments, he forgot
the respect usually' paid to Royalty, lifted up the warming-
pan, and knocked down the King as flat as a pancake; after
which, Master Giglio took to his heels and ran away, and
Betsinda went off screaming, and the Queen, Gruffanuff,
and the Princess, all came out of their rooms. Fancy their
feelings on beholding their husband, father, sovereign, in
:-L- LPT; ___
SEE THE MONARCH IN A HUFF.
HOW KING VALOROSO WAS IN A DREADFUL PASSION.
As SOON as the coals began to burn him, the King came to
himself and stood up. "Ho my captain of the guards !"
his Majesty exclaimed, stamping his royal feet with rage. 0
piteous spectacle! the King's nose was bent quite crooked by
the blow of Prince Giglio! His Majesty ground his teeth
with rage. Hedzoff," he said, taking a death warrant out
of his dressing-gown pocket, Hedzoff, good Hedzoff, seize
upon the Prince. Thou'lt find him in his chamber two pair
LOOK AT LOVELY GRUFFANUFF I
up. But now he dared, with sacrilegious hand, to strike the
sacred night-cap of a king-Hedzoff, and floor me with a
warming-pan Away, no more demur, the villain dies See
it be done, or else, h'm ha h'm mind thine own
eyes and followed by the ladies, and lifting up the tails of
his dressing-gown, the King entered his own apartment.
Captain Hedzoff was very much affected, having a sincere
love for Giglio. "Poor, poor Giglio !" he said, the tears
rolling over his manly face, and dripping down his mous-
tachios; My noble young Prince, is it my hand must lead
thee to death ?"
"Lead him to fiddlestick, Hedzoff," said a female voice.
It was Gruffanuff, who had come out in her dressing-gown
when she heard the noise--" The King said you were to hang
the Prince. Well, hang the Prince."
11 il .
CRITICS SERVE US AUTHORS THUS:
"I don't understand you," says Hedzoff, who was not a
very clever man.
"You Gaby he didn't say which Prince," says Gruffanuff,
No; he didn't say which, certainly," said Hedzoff.
"Well then, take Bulbo, and hang him !"
When Captain Hedzoff heard this, he began to dance about
for joy. Obedience is a soldier's honour," says he. "Prince
Bulbo's head will do capitally," and he went to arrest the
Prince the very first thing next morning.
He knocked at the door. "Who's there ?" says Bulbo.
"Captain Hedzoff? Step in, pray, my good Captain; I'm
delighted to see you; I have been expecting you."
Have you ? says Hedzoff.
"Sleibootz, my Chamberlain, will act for me," says the
"I beg your Royal HI.li:. -'s pardon, but you will have
to act for yourself, and it's a pity to wake Baron Sleibootz.'
The Prince Bulbo still seemed to take the matter very
coolly. Of course, Captain," says he, "you are come about
that affair with Prince Giglio ?"
"Precisely," says Hedzoff, "that affair of Prince Giglio."
Is it to be pistols, or swords, Captain ? asks Bulbo.
"I 'm a pretty good hand with both, and I'11 do for Prince
Giglio as sure as my name is my Royal Highness Prince
There's some mistake, my Lord," says the Captain. The
business is done with axes among us."
"Axes? That's sharp work," says Bulbo. "Call my
Chamberlain, he 'll be my second, and in ten minutes, I
flatter myself you'll see Master Giglio's head off his imperti-
nent shoulders. I'm hungry for his blood. Hoo-oo, aw "
and he looked as savage as an ogre.
I beg your pardon, sir, but by this warrant, I am to take
you prisoner, and hand you over to-to the executioner."
SPORT TO THEM, IS DEATH TO US.
Pooh, pooh, my good man !-Stop, I say,-ho!-hulloa !"
was all that this luckless Prince was enabled to say, for
Hedzoff's guards seizing him, tied a handkerchief over his
mouth and face, and carried him to the place of execution.
The King, who happened to be talking to Glumboso, saw
him pass, and took a pinch of snuff, and said, "So much for
Giglio. Now let's go to breakfast."
60 LEAVING BULBO IN THIS FIX,
The Captain of the Guard handed over his prisoner to the
Sheriff, with the fatal order,
"AT SIGHT CUT OFF THE BEARER'S HEAD.
"It's a mistake," says Bulbo, who did not seem to under-
stand the business in the least.
Poo-poo-pooh," says the Sheriff. "Fetch Jack Ketch
instantly. Jack Ketch "
And poor Bulbo was led to the scaffold, where an executioner
with a block and a tremendous axe was always ready in case
he should be wanted.
But we must now revert to Giglio and Betsinda.
WE RETURN TO GRUFFY'S TRICKS.
WHAT GRUFFANUFF DID TO GIGLIO AND BETSINDA.
G-RUFFANUFF, who had seen what had happened with the
King, and knew that Giglio must come to grief, got up very
early the next morning, and went to devise some plans for
rescuing her darling husband, as the silly old thing insisted on
calling him. She found him walking up and down the garden,
thinking of a rhyme for Betsinda (tinder and winda were all
he could find), and indeed having forgotten all about the past
evening, except that Betsinda was the most lovely of beings.
Well, dear Giglio," says Gruff.
Well, dear Gruffy," says Giglio, only hewas quite satirical.
"I have been thinking, darling, what you must do in this
scrape. You must fly the country for a while."
What scrape ?-fly the country ? Never without her I
love, Countess," says Giglio.
"No, she will accompany you, dear Prince," she says, in
her most coaxing accents. First, we must get the jewels
belonging to our royal parents, and those of her and his
present Majesty. Here is the key, duck; they are all yours,
you know, by right, for you are the rightful King of Patla-
gonia, and your wife will be the rightful Queen."
"Will she ? says Giglio.
"Yes; and having got the jewels, go to Glumboso's apart-
ment, where, under his bed, you will find sacks containing
SHE HAS GIGLIO'S PLIGHTED TROTH.
money to the amount of 217,000,987,439 13s. 6Ld., all
belonging to you, for he took it out of your royal father's
room on the day of his death. With this we will fly."
We will fly ? says Giglio.
"Yes, you and your bride-your affianced love-your
Gruffy! says the Countess, with a languishing leer.
You my bride says Giglio. "You, you hideous old
"Oh, you, you wretch didn't you give me this paper
promising marriage ?" cries Gruff.
Get away, you old goose I love Betsinda, and Betsinda
only And in a fit of terror he ran from her as quickly as
=-r~J-"---c -i -
PRINCE AND MAID, SHE HATES THEM BOTH.
He I he! he!" shrieks out Gruff; "a promise is a
promise, if there are laws in Paflagonia And as for that
monster, that wretch, that fiend, that ugly little vixen-as for
that upstart, that ingrate, that beast Betsinda, Master Giglio
will have no little difficulty in discovering her whereabouts.
He may look very long before finding her, I warrant. He
little knows that Miss Betsinda is- "
Is-what ? Now, you shall hear. Poor Betsinda got up
at five in winter's morning to bring her cruel mistress her tea;
and instead of finding her in a good humour, found Gruffy as
cross as two sticks. The Countess boxed Betsinda's ears half-
a-dozen times whilst she was dressing; but as poor little
Betsinda was used to this kind of treatment, she did not feel
any special alarm. "And now," says she, when her
Majesty rings her bell twice, I'll trouble you, miss, to attend."
So when the Queen's bell rang twice, Betsinda came to her
'I i.:; : and made a pretty little curtsey. The Queen, the
Princess, and Gruffanuff were all three in the room. As soon
as they saw her they began.
You wretch says the Queen.
You little vulgar thing said the Princess.
"You beast! says Gruffanuff.
Get out of my sight says the Queen.
Go away with you, do says the Princess.
Quit the premises says Gruffanuff.
Alas and wo is me very lamentable events had occurred
to Betsinda that morning, and all in consequence of that
fatal warming-pan business of the previous night. The King
had offered to marry her.; of course her Majesty the Queen
was jealous: Bulbo had fallen in love with her; of course
Angelica was furious: Giglio was in love with her, and 0 what
a fury Gruffy was in !
64 SEE HOW WOMAN'S ANGER FLIES OUT,
"Take off that petticoat I gave you," they
gown said, all at once,
and began tearing the clothes off poor Betsinda.
" How dare you
the King ?" cried the Queen, the
Prince Bulbo ? Princess, and
Prince Giglio?") Countess.
SURE THEY'LL TEAR BETSINDA'S EYES OUT!
Give her the rags she wore when she came into the house,
and turn her out of it cries the Queen.
"Mind she does not go with my shoes on, which I lent
her so kindly," says the Princess; and indeed the Princess's
shoes were a great deal too big for Betsinda.
Come with me, you filthy hussey and taking up the
Queen's poker, the cruel Gruffanuff drove Betsinda into her
The Countess went to the glass box in which she had kept
Betsinda's old cloak and shoe this ever so long, and said,
"Take those rags, you little beggar creature, and strip off
everything belonging to honest people, and go about your
business;" and she actually tore off the poor little delicate
thing's back almost all.her things, and told her to be off out
of the house.
Poor Betsinda huddled the cloak round her back, on which
were embroidered the letters PRIN ... OSAL and then
came a great rent.
As for the shoe, what was she to do with one poor little
tootsey sandal? the string was still to it, so she hung it
round her neck.
"Won't you give me a pair of shoes to go out in the snow,
mum, if you please, mum ?" cried the poor child.
"No, you wicked beast!" says Gruffanuff, driving her
along with the poker-driving her down the cold stairs-
driving her through the cold hall-flinging her out into the
cold street, so that the knocker itself shed tears to see her !
But a kind Fairy made the soft snow warm for her little
feet, and she wrapped herself up in the ermine of her mantle,
and was gone
"And now let us think about breakfast," says the greedy
'' What dress shall I put on, mamma? the pink or the pea-
66 WHILE THE ROPE 'S ROUND BULBO'S NECK FAST,
green?" says Angelica. "Which do you think the dear
Prince will like best?"
"Mrs. V.! sings out the King from his dressing-room,
"let us have sausages for breakfast! Remember we have
Prince Bulbo staying with us! "
And they all went to get ready.
Nine o'clock came, and they were all in the breakfast-
room, and no Prince Bulbo as yet. The urn was hissing ane
humming: the muffins were smoking-such a heap of muf-
fins! the eggs were done, there was a pot of raspberry jam,
and coffee, and a beautiful chicken and tongue on the side-
table. Marmitonio the cook brought in the sausages. 0,
how nice they smelt!
"Where is Bulbo ?" said the King. "John, where is his
Royal Highness ?"
John said he had a took up his Roilighnessesses shaving-
water, and his clothes and things, and he wasn't in his room,
which he sposed his Royliness was just stepped hout.
"Stepped out before breakfast in the snow Impossible! "
says the King, sticking his fork into a sausage. My dear,
take one. Angelica, won't you have a saveloy? The Prin-
cess took one, being very fond of them; and at this moment
Glumboso entered with Captain Hedzoff, both looking very
much disturbed. "I am afraid your Majesty-" cries Glum-
boso. '"No business before breakfast, Glum!" says the
King. "Breakfast first, business next. Mrs. V., some more
Sire, I am afraid if we wait till after breakfast it will be
too late," says Glumboso. He-he-he'll be hanged at
"Don't talk about hanging and spoil my breakfast, you
unkind vulgar man you," cries the Princess. "John, some
mustard. Pray who is to be hanged ?"
Sire, it is the Prince," whispers Glumboso to the King.
KING AND QUEEN SIT DOWN TO BREAKFAST.
"Talk about business after breakfast, I tell you!" says
his Majesty, quite sulky.
"We shall have a war, Sire, depend on it," says the
Minister. His father, King Padella ."
His father, King who ?" says the King. King Padella
is not Giglio's father. My brother, King Savio, was Giglio's
"It's Prince Bulbo they are hanging, Sire, not Prince
Giglio," says the Prime Minister.
"You told me to hang the Prince, and I took the ugly
one," says Hedzoff. "I didn't, of course, think your ?I.-
jesty intended to murder your own flesh and blood "
The King for all reply flung the plate of sausages at
Hedzoff's head. The Princess cried out Hee-karee-karee!
and fell down in a fainting fit.
"Turn the cock of the urn upon her Royal Highness,"
said the King, and the boiling water gradually revived her.
His Majesty looked at his watch, compared it by the clock
in the parlour, and by that of the church in the square
opposite; then he wound it up; then he looked at it again.
"The great question is," says he, am I fast or am I slow ?
If I'm slow, we may as well go on with breakfast. If I'm
fast, why, there is just the possibility of saving Prince Bulbo.
It's a doosid awkward mistake, and upon my word, Hedzoff,
I have the greatest mind to have you hanged too."
Sire, I did but my duty; a soldier has but his orders.
I didn't expect after forty-seven years of faithful service
that my sovereign would think of putting me to a felon's
A hundred thousand plagues upon you! Can't you see
that while you are talking my Bulbo is being hung?"
screamed the Princess.
"By Jove! she's always right, that girl, and I'm so
absent," says the King, looking at his watch again. Ha!
HERE, UPON THE VERY SCAFFOLD,
Hark, there go the drums What a doosid awkward thing
"0 Papa, you goose! Write the reprieve, and let me run
with it," cries the Princess-and she got a sheet of paper,
and pen and ink, and laid them before the King.
Confound it! Where are my spectacles ? the Monarch
exclaimed. "Angelica! Go up into my bed-room, look
under my pillow, not your mamma's; there you'll see my
keys. Bring them down to me, and-Well, well! what im-
petuous things these girls are!" Angelica was gone, and
had run up panting to the bed-room, and found the keys,
and was back again before the King had finished a muffin.
"Now love," says he," you must go all the way back for my
desk, in which my spectacles are. If you would but have
heard me out . Be hanged to her. There she is off
again. Angelica! ANGELICA When his Majesty called
in his loud voice, she knew she must obey, and came back.
My dear, when you go out of a room, how often have I
told you, shut the door. That's a darling. That's all." At
-last the keys and the desk and the spectacles were got, and
the King mended his pen, and signed his name to a reprieve,
and Angelica ran with it as swift as the wind. "You'd
better stay, my love, and finish the muffins. There's no use
going. Be sure it's too late. Hand me over that raspberry
jam, please," said the Monarch. "Bong! Bawong There
goes the half hour. I knew it was."
Angelica ran, and ran, and ran, and ran. She ran up
Fore Street, and down High Street, and through the Market-
place, and down to the left, and over the bridge, and up the
blind alley, and back again, and round by the Castle, and so
along by the Haberdasher's on the right, opposite the lamp-
post, and round the square, and she came-she came to the
Execution place, where she saw Bulbo laying his head on
the block! The executioner raised his axe, but at that
Ii i I II -I
HI' ';D' 'j ,'
AINGELICA ARRIVES JUST IN TIME.
[To face p. 68.
THANK OUR STARS! JACK KETCH IS BAFFLED.
moment the Princess came panting up and cried Reprieve.
"Reprieve !" screamed the Princess. Reprieve !" shouted
all the people. Up the scaffold stairs she sprang, with the
agility of a lighter of lamps ; and flinging herself in Bulbo's
arms, regardless of all ceremony, she cried out, "' 0 my
Prince my lord my love my Bulbo Thine Angelica
has been in time to save thy precious existence, sweet rose-
bud; to prevent thy being nipped in thy young bloom!
Had aught befallen thee, Angelica too had died, and wel-
comed death that joined her to her Bulbo."
H'm! there's no accounting for tastes," said Bulbo,
looking so very much puzzled and uncomfortable, that the
Princess, in tones of tenderest strain, asked the cause of his
"I tell you what it is, Angelica," said he, "since I came
here, yesterday, there has been such a row, and disturbance,
and quarrelling, and fighting, and chopping of heads off, and
the deuce to pay, that I am inclined to go back to Crim
"But with me as thy bride, my Bulbo Though where-
ever thou art is Crim Tartary to me, my bold, my beautiful,
"Well, well, I suppose we must be married," says Bulbo.
"Doctor, you came to read the Funeral Service-read the
Marriage Service, will you ? What must be, must. That
will satisfy Angelica, and then, in the name of peace and
quietness, do let us go back to breakfast."
Bulbo had carried a rose in his mouth all the time of the
dismal ceremony. It was a fairy rose, and he was told by
his mother that he ought never to part with it. So he had
kept it between his teeth, even when he laid his poor head
upon the block, hoping vaguely that some chance would turn
up in his favour. As he began to speak to Angelica, he for-
got about the rose, and of course it dropped out of his
BULBO AND HIS BRIDE ARE MARRIED.
mouth. The romantic Princess instantly stooped and seized
it. Sweet rose she exclaimed, "that bloomed upon my
Bulbo's lip, never, never will I part from thee!" and she
placed it in her bosom. And you know Bulbo couldn't ask
her to give the rose back again. And they went to breakfast;
and as they walked, it appeared to Bulbo that Angelica be-
came more exquisitely lovely every moment.
He was frantic until they were married; and now, strange
to say, it was Angelica who didn't care about him lie
knelt down, he kissed her hand, he prayed and begged; he
cried with admiration; while she for her part said she really
thought they might wait; it seemed to her he was not hand-
some any more-no, not at all, quite the reverse; and not
clever, no, very stupid; and not well bred, like Giglio; no,
on the contrary, dreadfully vul-
What, I cannot say, for King Valoroso roared out Pooh,
stuff! in a terrible voice. We will have no more of this
shilly-shallying! Call the Archbishop, and let the Prince
and Princess be married off-hand "
So, married they were, and I am sure for my part I trust
they will be happy.
NOW WE 'RE TO BETSINDA CARRIED.
HOW BETSINDA FLED, AND WHAT BECAME OF HER.
BETSINDA wandered on and on, till she passed through the
town gates, and so on the great Crim Tartary road, the very
way on which Giglio too was going. Ah thought she,
as the diligence passed her, of which the conductor was blow-
ing a delightful tune on his horn, how I should like to be
on that coach! But the coach and the jingling horses were
very soon gone. She little knew who was in it, though very
likely she was thinking of him all the time.
Then came an empty cart, returning from market; and the
driver being a kind man, and seeing such a very pretty girl
trudging along the road with bare feet, most good-naturedly
gave her a seat. He said he lived on the confines of the
forest, where his old father was a woodman, and, if she liked,
he would take her so far on her road. All roads were the
same to little Betsinda, so she very thankfully took this one.
And the carter put a cloth round her bare feet, and gave
her some bread and cold bacon, and was very kind to her.
For all that she was very cold and melancholy. When after
travelling on and on, evening came, and all the black pines
were bending with snow, and there, at last, was the comfort-
able light beaming in the woodman's windows; and so they
arrived, and went into his cottage. He was an old man, and
had a number of children, who were just at supper, with nice
hot bread-and-milk, when their elder brother arrived with the
cart. And they jumped and clapped their hands; for they
were good children; and he had brought them toys from the
TO A HUT SHE GAINS ADMISSION.
town. And when they saw the pretty stranger, they ran to
her, and brought her to the fire, and rubbed her poor little
feet, and brought her bread-and-milk.
"Look, Father they said to the old woodman, look at
this poor girl, and see what pretty cold feet she has. They
are as white as our milk And look and see what an odd
cloak she has, just like the bit of velvet that hangs up in our
cupboard, and which you found that day the little cubs were
killed by King Padella, in the forest! And look, why, bless
us all! she has got round her neck just such another little
shoe as that you brought home, and have shown us, so often
-a little blue velvet shoe !"
What," said the old woodman, What is all this about a
shoe and a cloak? "
WHAT A TOUCHING RECOGNITION !
And Betsinda explained that she had been left, when quite
a little child, at the town with this cloak and this shoe. And
the persons who had taken care of her had-had been angry
with her, for no fault, she hoped, of her own. And they had
sent her away with her old clothes-and here, in fact, she
was. She remembered having been in a forest-and perhaps
it was a dream-it was so very odd and strange-having lived
in a cave with lions there; and, before that, having lived in
a very, very fine house, as fine as the King's, in the town.
When the woodman heard this, he was so astonished, it
was quite curious to see how astonished he was. He went to
his cupboard, and took out of a stocking a five-shilling piece
of King Cavolfiore, and vowed it was exactly like the young
woman. And then he produced the shoe and the piece of
velvet which he had kept so long, and compared them with
the things which Betsinda wore. In Betsinda's little shoe
was written, Hopkins, maker to the Royal Family;" so in
the other shoe was written, "Hopkins, maker to the Royal
Family." In the inside of Betsinda's piece of cloak was em-
broidered, PRIN ROSAL ;" in the other piece of cloak was
embroidered, CESS BA. No. 246." So that when put to-
gether you read, "PRINCESS ROSALBA. NO. .2-11:."
On seeing this, the dear old woodman fell down on his
knee, saying: "O my princess, 0 my gracious royal lady, O
74 CHAMPION BOLD OF RIGHT AND BEAUTY,
my rightful Queen of Crim Tartary,-I hail thee-I acknow-
ledge thee-I do thee homage And in token of his fealty,
he rubbed his venerable nose three times on the ground, and
put the Princess's foot on his head.
Why," said she, "my good woodman, you must be a
nobleman of my royal father's Court !" For in her lowly
retreat, and under the name of Betsinda, HER MAJESTY,
ROSALBA, Queen of Crim Tartary, had read of the customs of
all foreign Courts and nations.
"Marry, indeed am I, my gracious liege-the poor Lord
Spinachi, once -the humble woodman these fifteen years
syne. Ever since the tyrant Padella (may ruin overtake the
treacherous knave !) dismissed me from my post of First
First Lord of the Toothpick and Joint Keeper of the
Snuff-box? I mind me! Thou heldest these posts under
our royal Sire. They are restored to thee, Lord Spinachi !
I make thee knight of the second class of our Order of the
Pumpkin (the first class being reserved for crowned heads
alone). Rise, Marquis of Spinachi! And with indescrib-
able majesty, the Queen, who had no sword handy, waved the
pewter spoon with which she had been taking her bread-and-
milk, over the bald head of the old nobleman, whose tears
absolutely made a puddle on the ground, and whose dear
children went to bed that night Lords and Ladies Bartolomeo,
Ubaldo, Catarina, and Ottavia degli Spinachi !
The acquaintance HER MAJESTY showed with the history,
and noble families of her empire, was wonderful. The
House of Broccoli should remain faithful to us," she said;
" they were ever welcome at our Court. Have the Arti-
ciocchi, as was their wont, turned to the Rising Sun? The
family of Sauerkraut must sure be with us-they were ever
welcome in the halls of King Cavolfiore." And so she went
on enumerating quite a list of the nobility and gentry of
TO ROSALBA PAY YOUR DUTY
Crim Tartary, so admirably had her Majesty profited by her
studies while in exile.
The old Marquis of Spinachi said he could answer for them
all; that the whole country groaned under Padella's tyranny,
and longed to return to its rightful sovereign; and late as it
was, he sent his children, who knew the forest well, to sum-
mon this nobleman and that; and when his eldest son, who
had been rubbing the horse down and giving him his supper,
came into the house for his own, the Marquis told him to put
his boots on, and a saddle on the mare, and ride hither and
thither to such and such people.
When the young man heard who his companion in the
cart had been, he too knelt down and put her royal foot on
his head; he too bedewed the ground with his tears; he was
frantically in love with her, as everybody now was who saw
her: so were the young Lords Bartolomeo and Ubaldo, who
punched each other's little heads out of jealousy: and so,
when they came from east and west at the summons of the
Marquis degli Spinachi, were the Crim Tartar Lords who
still remained faithful to the House of Cavolfiore. They were
such very old gentlemen for the most part, that her Majesty
never suspected their absurd passion, and went among them
quite unaware of the havoc her beauty was causing, until an
old blind Lord who had. joined her party, told her what the
truth was; after which, for fear of making the people too
much in love with her, she always wore a veil. She went about
privately, from one nobleman's castle to another: and they
visited amongst themselves again, and had meetings, and
composed proclamations and counter-proclamations, and dis-
tributed all the best places of the kingdom amongst one
another, and selected who of the opposition party should be
executed when the Queen came to her own. And so in about
a year they were ready to move.
The party of Fidelity was in truth composed of very feeble
76 YOU, WHO WITH SUCCESS WOULD FIGHT,
old fogies for the most part; they went about the country
waving their old swords and flags, and calling "God save the
.. ', -
vasion, they had their own way for a little, and to be sure
.. .. L I ,'-
Queen otherwise the vulgar took matters very quietly, for '
they said, as far as they could recollect. -, they were pretty well.
as much taxed in Cavolfore's timew as now in Padella's.
Q u "n other ise t 'e :vl a '
th ey s aid ',. f ar a s ', -u c ol *. w r p'.e t -
aem e -
Queen !" and King Padella happening to be absent upon an
invasion, they had their own way for a little, and to be sure
the people Were very enthusiastic whenever they saw the
Queen; otherwise the vulgar took matters very quietly, for
they said, as far as they could recollect, they were pretty well
as much taxed in Cavolfiore's time, as now in Padella's.
SHOULD BE STRONG AS WELL AS RIGHT.
HOW QUEEN ROSALBA CAME TO THE CASTLE OF THE BOLD
HER MAJESTY, having indeed nothing else to give, made
nll her followers Knights of the Pumpkin, and Marquises,
Earls, and Baronets; and they had a little court for her, and
made her a little crown of gilt paper, and a robe of cotton
velvet; and they quarrelled about the places to be given away
in her court, and about rank and precedence and dignities;-
you can't think how they quarrelled The poor Queen was
very tired of her honours before she had had them a month,
and I dare say sighed sometimes even to be a lady's-maid
again. But we must all do our duty in our respective stations,
so the Queen resigned herself to perform hers.
We have said how it happened that none of the Usurper's
troops came out to oppose this Army of Fidelity: it pottered
along as nimbly as the gout of the principal commanders
allowed: it consisted of twice as many officers as soldiers:
and at length passed near the estates of one of the most
powerful noblemen of the country, who had not declared for
the Queen, but of whom her party had hopes, as he was
always quarrelling with King Padella.
When they came close to his park gates, this nobleman
sent to say he would wait upon her Majesty: he was a most
powerful warrior, and his name was Count Hogginarmo.
HOW COUNT HOGGINAIIMO WOOD HER,
whose helmet it took two strong negroes to carry. He knelt
down before her and said, Madam and liege lady it becomes
the great nobles of the Crimean realm to show every outward
sign of respect to the wearer of the Crown, whoever that may
be. We testify to our own nobility in acknowledging yours.
The bold Hogginarmo bends the knee to the first of the
aristocracy of his country."
SURELY NOTHING COULD BE RUDER.
Rosalba said, "The bold Count of Hogginarmo was un-
commonly kind." But she felt afraid of him, even while he
was kneeling, and his eyes scowled at her from between his
whiskers, which grew up to them.
"The first Count of the Empire, madam," he went on,
salutes the Sovereign. The Prince addresses himself to the
not more noble lady Madam, my hand is free, and I offer
it, and my heart and my sword to your service My three
wives lie buried in my ancestral vaults. The third perished
but a year since; and this heart pines for a consort Deign
to be mine, and I swear to bring to your bridal table the
head of King Padella, the eyes and nose of his son Prince
Bulbo, the right hand and ears of the usurping Sovereign of
Paflagonia, which country shall thenceforth be an appanage
to your-to our Crown Say yes; Hogginarmo is not accus-
tomed to be denied. Indeed I cannot contemplate the possi-
bility of a refusal; for frightful will be the result; dreadful
the murders; furious the devastations; horrible the tyranny;
tremendous the tortures, misery, taxation, which the people
of this realm will endure, if Hogginarmo's wrath be aroused !
I see consent in your Majesty's lovely eyes-their glances fill
my soul with rapture !"
0, Sir !" Rosalba said, withdrawing her hand in great
fright. "Your Lordship is exceedingly kind; but I am sorry
to tell you that I have a prior attachment to a young gentle-
man by the name of-Prince-Giglio-and never-never can
marry any one but him."
Who can describe Hogginarmo's wrath at this remark?
Rising up from the ground, he ground his teeth so that fire
flashed out of his mouth, from which at the same time issued
remarks and language, so loud, violent, and improper, that
this pen shall never repeat them R-r-r-r-r-r-Rejected !
Fiends and perdition! The bold Hogginarmo rejected! All
the world shall hear of my rage; and you, Madam, you above
80 MUCH I FEAR YOUR REIGN IS OVER.
all shall rue it! And kicking the two negroes before him,
he rushed away, his whiskers streaming in the wind.
"~ "_--, ....' .
a towering rage, making footballs of the poor negroes-a, '
hour they were met by that rapacious chieftain with a few of,
.',, ,- -
.i- ._ i
hey saw Hoginamongst them, too the Quero presence in su
his followers, who t, slasdrove the Army of Fidelity to I don't kno, w whaked, re.anged,
and pommelled amongst them, took the Queen prisoner, and
drove the Army of Fidelity to I don't know where. l
hor he er mt ytht aacou ciftinwiha ewo
POOR ROSALBA! WHERE S YOUR LOVER?
Poor Queen Hogginarmo, her conqueror, would not con-
descend to see her. Get a horse-van !" he said to his
grooms, "clap the hussey into it, and send her, with my
compliments, to his Majesty King Padella."
Along with his lovely prisoner, Hogginarmo sent a letter
full of servile compliments and loathsome flatteries to King
Padella, for whose life, and that of his royal family, the
1..,/.,..:.'. ',! humbug pretended to offer the most fulsome
prayers. And Hogginarmo promised speedily to pay his
humble homage at his august master's throne, of which he
begged leave to be counted the most loyal and constant de-
fender. Such a wary old bird as King Padella was not to be
caught by Master Hogginarmo's chaff, and we shall hear pre-
sently how the tyrant treated his upstart vassal. No, no;
depend on't, two such rogues do not trust one another.
So this poor Queen was laid in the straw like Margery
Daw, and driven along in the dark ever so many miles to the
Court, where King Padella had now arrived, having van-
quished all his enemies, murdered most of them, and brought
some of the richest into captivity with him for the purpose
of torturing them and finding out where they had hidden
Rosalba heard their shrieks and groans in the dungeon in
which she was thrust; a most awful black hole, full of bats,
rats, mice, toads, frogs, mosquitoes, bugs, fleas, serpents, and
every kind of horror. No light was let into it, otherwise the
gaolers might have seen her and fallen in love with her, as an
owl that lived up in the roof of the tower did, and a cat, you
know, who can see in the dark, and having set its green eyes
on Rosalba, never would be got to go back to the turnkey's
wife to whom it belonged. And the toads in the dungeon
came and kissed her feet, and the vipers wound round her
neck and arms, and never hurt her, so charming was this
poor Princess in the midst of her misfortunes.
KING PADELLA COMES A WOOING.
At last, after she had been kept in this place ever so long,
the door of the dungeon opened, and the terrible KING
PADELLA came in.
But what he said and did must be reserved for another
Chapter, as we must now back to Prince Giglio.
HERE WE SEE WHAT GIGLIO 'S DOING
WHAT BECAME OF GIGLIO.
THE idea of marrying such an old creature as Gruffanuff,
frightened Prince Giglio so, that he ran up to his room,
packed his trunks, fetched in a couple of porters, and was off
to the diligence office in a twinkling.
It was well that he was so quick in his operations, did not
dawdle over his luggage, and took the early coach, for as
soon as the mistake about Prince Bulbo was found out, that
cruel Glumboso sent up a couple of policemen to Prince
Giglio's room, with orders that he should be carried to New-
cate, and his head taken off before twelve o'clock. But the
coach was out of the Paflagonian dominions before two
o'clock; and I daresay the express that was sent after Prince
Giglio did not ride very quick, for many people in Paflagonia
had a regard for Giglio, as the son of their old sovereign; a
Prince who, with all his weaknesses, was very much better
than his brother the reigning, usurping, lazy, careless, pas-
sionate, tyrannical, reigning monarch. That Prince busied
himself with the balls, fetes, masquerades, hunting parties,
and so forth, which he thought proper to give on occasion of
his daughter's marriage to Prince Bulbo; and let us trust
was not sorry in his own heart that his brother's son had
escaped the scaffold.
It was very cold weather, and the snow was on the ground,
and Giglio, who gave his name as simple Mr. Giles, was very
glad to get a comfortable place on the coup of the diligence,
AS BECOMES HIS LINEAGE KNIGHTLY,
where he sat with the conductor and another gentleman. At
the first stage from Blombodinga, as they stopped to change
horses, there came up to the diligence a very ordinary, vulgar-
looking woman, with a bag under her arm, who asked for a
place. All the inside places were taken, and the young
woman was informed that if she wished to travel, she must
go upon the roof; and the passenger inside with Giglio (a
II: :R~1 C~
MASTER GIGLIO ACTS POLITELY.
rude person, I should think), put his head out of the window,
and said, "Nice weather for travelling outside I wish you a
pleasant journey, my dear." The poor woman coughed very
''I 1 I '
much, and Giglio pitied her. "I will give up my place to
her," says he, "rather than she should travel in the cold air
with that horrid cough." On which the vulgar traveller said,
You'd keep her warm, I am sure, if it's a mzff she wants."
On which Giglio pulled his nose, boxed his ears, hit him in
the eye, and gave this vulgar person a warning never to call
him .if again.
Then he sprang up gaily on to the roof of the diligence,
and made himself very comfortable in the straw. The vul-
gar traveller got down only at the next station, and Giglio
took his place again, and talked to the person next to him.
She appeared to be a most agreeable, well-informed, and
entertaining female. They travelled together till night, and
she gave Giglio all sorts of things out of the bag which she
carried, and which indeed seemed to contain the most
wonderful collection of articles. He was thirsty-out there
OF THE BAG, AND HOW SHE GAVE IT.
came a pint bottle of Bass's pale ale, and a silver mug!
Hungry-she took out a cold fowl, some slices of ham, bread,
salt, and a most delicious piece of cold plum-pudding, and a
little glass of brandy afterwards.
As they travelled, this plain looking, queer woman talked
to Giglio on a variety of subjects, in which the poor Prince
showed his ignorance as much as she did her capacity. He
owned, with many blushes, how ignorant he was; on which
the lady said, My dear Gigl-my good Mr. Giles, you are a
young man, and have plenty of time before you. You have
nothing to do but to improve yourself. Who knows but that
you may find use for your knowledge some day? When-
when you may be wanted at home, as some people may be."
Good Heavens, madam !" says he, do you know me?"
"I know a number of funny things," says the lady. I
have been at some people's christenings, and turned away
from other folks' doors. I have seen some people spoilt by
good fortune, and others, as I hope, improved by hardship.
I advise you to stay at the town where the coach stops for the
night. Stay there and study, and remember your old friend
to whom you were kind."
And who is my old friend?" asked Giglio.
"When you want anything," says the lady, "look in this
bag, which I leave to you as a present, and be grateful to-"
"To whom, madam?" says he.
"To the Fairy Blackstick," says the lady, flying out of the
window. And when Giglio asked the conductor if he knew
where the lady was ?
"What lady?" says the man; there has been no lady in
this coach, except the old woman, who got out at the last
stage." And Giglio thought he had been dreaming. But
there was the bag which Blackstick had given him lying on
his lap; and when he came to the town he took it in his
hand and went into the inn.
OH! HOW I SHOULD LIKE TO HAVE IT.
They gave him a very bad bed-room, and Giglio, when he
woke in the morning, fancying himself in the Royal Palace
at home, called, "John, Charles, Thomas My chocolate-
my dressing-gown-my slippers ;" but nobody came. There
was no bell, so he went and bawled out for waiter on the top
of the stairs.
The landlady came up, looking-looking like this-
What are you a hollering and a bellaring for here, young
man?" says she.
"There's no warm water-no servants; my boots are not
"He, he! Clean 'em yourself," says the landlady. "You
young students give yourselves pretty airs. I never heard
"I'11 quit the house this instant," says Giglio.
"The sooner the better, young man. Pay your bill and be
off. All my rooms is wanted for gentlefolks, and not for
such as you."
You may well keep the Bear Inn," said Giglio. "You
should have yourself painted as the sign."
HUMBLE PIE IS WHOLESOME MEAT,
The landlady of the Bear went away growling. And
Giglio returned to his room, where the first thing he saw was
the fairy bag lying on the table, which seemed to give a little
hop as he came in. "I hope it has some breakfast in it,"
says Giglio, "for I have only a very little money left." But
NJ t' '
on opening the bag, what do you think was there ? A black-
ing-brush and a pot of Warren's jet, and on the pot was
"Poor young men their boots must black:
Use me and cork me and put me back."
So Giglio laughed and blacked his boots, and put back the
brush and the bottle into the bag.
GOOD FOR ALL OF US TO EAT.
When he had done dressing himself, the bag gave another
little hop, and he went to it and took out-
1. A tablecloth and a napkin.
2. A sugar-basin full of the best loaf sugar.
4, 6, 8, 10. Two forks, two teaspoons, two knives, and a
pair of sugar-tongs, and a butter-knife, all marked G.
11, 12, 13. A teacup, saucer, and slop-basin.
14. A jug full of delicious cream.
15. A canister with black tea and green.
16. A large tea-urn and boiling water.
17. A saucepan, containing three eggs nicely done.
18. A quarter of a pound of best Epping butter.
19. A brown loaf.
And if he hadn't enough now for a good breakfast, I
should like to know who ever had one?
Giglio, having had his breakfast, popped all the things
back into the bag, and went out looking for lodgings. I for-
got to say that this celebrated university town was called
He took a modest lodging opposite the Schools, paid his
bill at the inn, and went to his apartment with his trunk,
carpet-bag, and not forgetting, we may be sure, his other bag.
When he opened his trunk, which the day before he had
filled with his best clothes, he found it contained only books.
And in the first of them which he opened there was written-
Clothes for the back, books for the head;
Read, and remember them when they are read."
And in his bag, when Giglio looked in it, he found a student's
cap and gown, a writing-book full of paper, an inkstand,
pens, and a Johnson's dictionary, which was very useful to
him, as his spelling had been sadly neglected.
So he sat down and worked away, very, very hard for a
IN THE PAPERS HERE WE READ
whole year, during which "Mr. Giles was quite an example
to all the students in the University of Bisforo. He never
got into any riots or disturbances. The Professors all spoke
well of him, and the students liked him, too; so that, when
at examination, he took all the prizes, viz. :-
The Spelling Prize The French Prize
The Writing Prize The Arithmetic Prize
The History Prize The Latin Prize
The Catechism Prize The Good Conduct Prize,
all his fellow students said, Hurray! Hurray for Giles!
Giles is the boy-the student's joy Hurray for Giles ['-
And he brought quite a quantity of medals, crowns, books,
and tokens of destination home to his lodgings.
One day after the Examinations, as he was diverting him-
self at a coffee house, with two friends-(Did I tell you that
in his bag, every Saturday night, he found just enough to pay
his bills, with a guinea over, for pocket-money Didn't I tell
you? Well, he did, as sure as twice twenty makes forty-
five) -he chanced to look in the Bosforo Chronicle," and
read off quite easily (for he could spell, read, and write the
longest words now) the following-
"ROMANTIC CIRCUMSTANCE.-One of the most extraordi-
nary adventures that we have ever heard has set the neighbour-
ing country of Crim Tartary in a state of great excitement.
"It will be remembered that when the present revered
sovereign of Crim Tartary, his Majesty King Padella, took
possession of the throne, after having vanquished, in the
terrific battle of Blunderbusco, the late King Cavolfiore, that
Prince's only child, the Princess Rosalba, was not found in
the royal palace, of which King Padella took possession, and,
it was said, had strayed into the forest (being abandoned by
all her attendants), where she had been eater up by those