Budget control
 Sullivan and friends


CLAS notes
Full Citation
Permanent Link: http://ufdc.ufl.edu/UF00073682/00200
 Material Information
Title: CLAS notes the monthly news publication of the College of Liberal Arts and Sciences
Physical Description: v. : ill. ; 28 cm.
Language: English
Creator: University of Florida -- College of Arts and Sciences
Publisher: College of Liberal Arts and Sciences, University of Florida
Place of Publication: Gainesville Fla
Creation Date: April 2003
Frequency: monthly
Subjects / Keywords: Education, humanistic -- Periodicals -- Florida   ( lcsh )
Genre: government publication (state, provincial, terriorial, dependent)   ( marcgt )
periodical   ( marcgt )
serial   ( sobekcm )
General Note: Subtitle varies; some numbers issued without subtitle.
General Note: Description based on: Vol. 2, no. 11 (Nov. 1988); title from caption.
 Record Information
Source Institution: University of Florida
Holding Location: George A. Smathers Libraries, University of Florida
Rights Management: All rights reserved, Board of Trustees of the University of Florida
Resource Identifier: aleph - 001806880
oclc - 28575488
notis - AJN0714
lccn - sn 93026902
System ID: UF00073682:00200
 Related Items
Preceded by: College bulletin board


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Table of Contents
    Budget control
        Page 1
        Page 2
    Sullivan and friends
        Page 3
Full Text

April 1, 2003
.S "Vol. 17 No. 4-1

The University of Florida Sponsored by Fiends of CLAS
ge of Letters, Arts and Sciences

budget Control
-;Chuck Frazier, David Colburn, and Neil Sullivan
V., are instructed to put on special "don't panic"
glasses before taking a look at
this year's budget. The glasses
are designed so viewers
see more than is actually

Turlington Webcam Footage Now On
When Cindy Carrion, an executive secretary in the dean's
office, logged on to the CLAS Web site recently to take a
look at footage from the Turlington webcam, she was thrilled
to see co-worker Sherry Feagle coming back from a vending
machine carrying a Coke and a bag of Cheetos. "I thought
to myself, my god. This thing does have a purpose after all," i
Carrion says. "I had wondered, for years, where Sherry went on her breaks, and now I know."
For years the Turlington webcam has been providing university staff, faculty and students
with a rare glimpse of the non-consequential happenings in Turlington Plaza. Just this week,
Neil Sullivan was spotted picking up a copy of the Thrifty Nickel from one of the many
newspaper racks by the potato statute. "It's great," says Evelyn Butler, the dean's secretary. "I
used to have to stand up and look out my window to see what's going on down there. Now,
I just have to log on to my computer and wait 15 seconds for the footage to load. It's really
made things more convenient."
For those of you who haven't been keeping up with the webcam's exciting daily footage,
you can catch some of the highlights in a new movie compiled onto a DVD by college
webmaster Karen Gill. Composed of shots taken at 15-minute intervals over the last five
years, "It's kind of like one of those films where you watch a bean sprout grow," Gill says.
"Except in this movie nothing much changes."

$100 Donated to
Renovate Turlington Hall
Multi-billionaire Charles Merlington-Wurlington has
donated a small portion of his fortune to renovate the
only modern-style building constructed in the 1970s
at UF, Turlington Hall. Merlington-Wurlington said he
spent his undergraduate years looking for his classes in
Turlington, but after years of searching, he transferred to
the College of Business. He now wants Turlington gutted
and renovated with 1,000 additional windows. Merlington-
Wurlington says he will work with a new architect because
the original architect was obviously drunk when he
designed Turlington Hall. Turlington will be renamed and
dedicated as Merlington-Wurlington-Turlington Hall.

New Books by CLAS Faculty
Slept Right Through It: My Experiences as an
Administrator in Tigert by Joe Glover
How to Knit a Sweater for Your Turtle by
Karen Bjorndal, Director of the Archie Carr
Center for Sea Turtle Research
Why Can't Mr. Fork and Mrs. Electrical Outlet
be Friends? A Book for Children by John Cech

Why Can't
Mr. Fork
and 'rs.
be Friends?
YL' Ief?

Dana Peterson Injured in Amateur Wrestling Incident
AIM director Dana Peterson is recovering from minor injuries suffered during an amateur
pro-wrestling match held in his backyard this weekend. Inspired by the hit television
show WWF Smackdown, Peterson bruised two ribs and herniated
a disc in his back when taking a series of belly-to-belly suplexes in a match
against associate dean Lou Guillette. "I didn't / mean to hurt
him," Guillette says. "I had agreed to come
to the event, thinking it was some sort of
gathering for the World Wildlife Fund. When
Dana started running toward me with a chair,
I had to defend myself." ,.
Injuries aside, Peterson was thrilled
with his performance and plans to continue '
competing once he's healed. "It was one
of the better matches I've had," Peterson
said, in spite of the fact that he lost. After
appearing on the television show "Inside
Edition" for O
a faculty
segment, Peterson
is hoping to jumpstart his Hollywood career
with various wrestling matches.

Jack Sabin's Joke of the Week
Q: What do physicists do when they go on vacation?
A: They go fission.

UF Presidential Candidate Turns
Out To Be A $19,000 Salaried
Construction Worker
The UF presidential search is well underway, and the
search committee is again on its quest to find a candidate III
who can bring a certain amount of prestige to the
university. They thought they had found their man
in Kevin Harriott who listed on his CV, among other
things, being a recipient of the Fields Medal. As it turns
out, he had simply been awarded a Mrs. Fields chocolate
chip cookie in the third grade for learning to multiply
fractions. Harriott also had listed he received his PhD from Brown University, when actually he
had completed delivery driver training for UPS. When asked why he misled the search committee
into believing he was anything more than a humble day-laborer, Harriott relented that he had
heard it was a part-time position, which would give him plenty of time to pursue other interests,
such as traveling, drinking martinis and smoking cigars.
The search committee has regrouped and is looking at other applicants, including former
Florida Secretary of State Katherine Harris, Florida Attorney General Charlie Christ, and David
Letterman. A search committee spokesperson has confirmed that none of these applicants have
PhDs or any relevant experience in academia, which could make them top contenders for the job.


Sullivan & Friends
CLAS is pleased to introduce Sullivan
and Friends, a new television show for
tots co-produced by the University of
Florida and the Children's Television
Network. Breaking the airwaves
this week, this unique show focuses
on "giving" and "sharing." CLAS
Dean Neil Sullivan teaches future
Gators how to write checks and fill
out donation forms. Sullivan and
Friends makes early indoctrination
fun through the use of games such-
as "Hide your money, and I'll seek
it," and songs like "If you give me .
your cash, I'll name something after
you." Co-producer and CLAS Senior
Director of Development Cynthia
Butler says, "If you can get kids to
memorize their ABC's, you can get
them to memorize their bank account

Pierre Ramond Questioned
on Smuggling Charge
Physics professor Pierre Ramond was stopped in Paris, France
last week for trying to smuggle three bottles of screw-top wine
into the country. Airport security discovered three bottles
of Arbor Mist stashed away in Ramond's checked luggage.
Apparently, it was the metal on the screw tops that set off the
alarms. French culture police refused to comment, alleging
that an American "just wouldn't understand." Ramond had
returned to his native France for a huge celebration of his 60th

This issue has been made possible through an ungenerous donation by Jaques Sabin on the
condition that we do not publish any stories about him.