Citation
Alice's adventures in Wonderland and Through the looking-glass

Material Information

Title:
Alice's adventures in Wonderland and Through the looking-glass
Added title page title:
Through the looking-glass
Creator:
Carroll, Lewis, 1832-1898
Tenniel, John, 1820-1914 ( Illustrator )
Macmillan & Co ( Publisher )
Place of Publication:
New York
Publisher:
Macmillan and Co.
Publication Date:
Language:
English
Edition:
New ed in one volume.
Physical Description:
192, 224, 12, [10] p. : ill. ; 19 cm.

Subjects

Subjects / Keywords:
Children -- Conduct of life -- Juvenile fiction ( lcsh )
Conduct of life -- Juvenile fiction ( lcsh )
Adventure and adventurers -- Juvenile fiction ( lcsh )
Imagination -- Juvenile fiction ( lcsh )
Dreams -- Juvenile fiction ( lcsh )
Decision making -- Juvenile fiction ( lcsh )
Innocence (Psychology) -- Juvenile fiction ( lcsh )
Illusion (Philosophy) -- Juvenile fiction ( lcsh )
Animals -- Juvenile fiction ( lcsh )
Curiosity -- Juvenile fiction ( lcsh )
Wit and humor, Juvenile ( lcsh )
Fantasy literature -- 1885 ( rbgenr )
Publishers' catalogues -- 1885 ( rbgenr )
Bldn -- 1885
Genre:
Fantasy literature ( rbgenr )
Publishers' catalogues ( rbgenr )
novel ( marcgt )
Spatial Coverage:
United States -- New York -- New York
Target Audience:
juvenile ( marctarget )

Notes

General Note:
Publisher's catalogue follows text.
General Note:
Illustrations engraved by Dalziel.
Statement of Responsibility:
by Lewis Carroll ; with ninety-two illustrations by John Tenniel.

Record Information

Source Institution:
University of Florida
Holding Location:
University of Florida
Rights Management:
This item is presumed to be in the public domain. The University of Florida George A. Smathers Libraries respect the intellectual property rights of others and do not claim any copyright interest in this item. Users of this work have responsibility for determining copyright status prior to reusing, publishing or reproducing this item for purposes other than what is allowed by fair use or other copyright exemptions. Any reuse of this item in excess of fair use or other copyright exemptions may require permission of the copyright holder. The Smathers Libraries would like to learn more about this item and invite individuals or organizations to contact The Department of Special and Area Studies Collections (special@uflib.ufl.edu) with any additional information they can provide.
Resource Identifier:
026622362 ( ALEPH )
ALG3685 ( NOTIS )
04727111 ( OCLC )

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ALICE S ADVENTURES
WONDERLAND,

THROUGH THE oe :

7 LEWwis GARR oi

WITH NINETY-TWO ILLUSTRATIONS
4 BY

JOHN TENNIEL
NEW EDITION IN ONE VOLUME

BOSTON .
LOTHROP PUBLISHING COMPANY





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CONTENTS.

ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

PAGE
CHAPTER I.

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-CHAPTER II.

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CHAPTER III.

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CHAPTER IV.

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CHAPTER V.

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THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS.

LooKkING-GLass HOUSE

THE GARDEN OF LIVE FLOWERS .

LookinG-GLass INSECTS .

TWEEDLEDUM AND TWEEDLEDEE .

WOOL AND WATER

HuMPTy Dumpty

THE LION AND THE UNICORN .
“It's My Own INVENTION”
QUEEN ALICE

SHAKING

WAKING

WHICH DREAMED IT?

CONTENTS.

CHAPTER I.

CHAPTER II.

CHAPTER III.

CHAPTER IV.

CHAPTER V.

CHAPTER VI.

CHAPTER VII.

CHAPTER VIII.

CHAPTER IX.

CHAPTER X.

CHAPTER XI.

CHAPTER XII.

PAGE

107
118
127
137
148
159
170
179
IgI
205
205

206



eT ee ee re ee

INTRODUCTION.

ALL in the golden afternoon
Full leisurely we glide;

For both our oars, with little skill,
By little arms are plied,

While little hands make vain pretence
Our wanderings to guide.

Ah, cruel Three! In such an hour,
Beneath such dreamy weather,
To beg a tale, of breath too weak

To stir the tiniest feather!
Yet what can one poor voice avail
Against three tongues together?

Imperious Prima flashes forth
Her edict to “begin it” —
In gentler tone Secunda hopes
“There will be nonsense in it” —
While Tertia interrupts the tale
Not more than once a minute.

Anon, to sudden: silence won,
In fancy they pursue

The dream-child moving through a land
Of wonders wild and new,

In friendly chat with bird or beast —
And half believe it true.

And ever, as the story drained
The wells of fancy dry,

And faintly strove that weary one
To put the subject by,

“The rest next time’ — “It zs next time!”
The happy voices cry.

7



8 INTRODUCTION.

Thus grew the tale of Wonderland:
Thus slowly, one by one,

Its quaint events were hammered out —
And now the tale is done,

And:home we steer, a merry crew,
Beneath the setting sun.

Alice, a childish story take,
And with a gentle hand

Lay it where childhood’s dreams are twined,
In memory’s mystic band,

Like pilgrim’s withered wreath of flowers es
Plucked in a far-off land.

‘ALICE IN WONDERLAND” and ‘‘ THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS” were written for a
real live Alice. Her name was Alice Liddell, and her father was a college professor; another
college professor, whose name was Charles Lutwidge Dodgson, was teacher of mathematics in
the same college — the University of Oxford, in England. He wrote these wonder-stories
about Alice for Alice under the name of ‘‘ Lewis Carroll,” and that is the name by which he is
known to the million and more children who have read his delightful accounts of Alice’s mar-
vellous adventures.

Professor Dodgson died on the fourteenth of January, 1898, an old man of sixty-six; but
his story of Alice will never die. When you read it you will know why.



ALICE’S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

CHAPTER I.

DOWN THE RABBIT—HOLE.

ALICE was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on
the bank, and of having nothing to do; once or twice she had peeped




an
\i iTWAL tt

1 yl nis

THE RABBIT LOOKED AT HIS WATCH,

into the book her sister was reading,
but it had no pictures or conversations
in it, ““and what is the use of a book,”
thought Alice, ‘‘ without pictures or con-
versations ?”

So she was considering in her own
mind (as well as she could, for the hot
day made her feel very sleepy and stu-
pid) whether the pleasure of making a
daisy-chain would be worth the trouble
of getting up and picking the daisies,
when suddenly a white rabbit with pink
eyes ran close by her.

There was nothing so very remarka-
ble in that; nor did Alice think it so
very much out of the way to hear the

Rabbit say to itself, ‘Oh, dear! Oh, dear! I shall be too late!”
(When she thought it over afterward, it occurred to her that she
ought to have wondered at this, but at the time it all seemed quite

9





Io ALICE’S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

natural); but when the Rabbit actually took a watch out of its waist-
coat-pocket, and looked at it, and then hurried on, Alice started to her
feet; for it flashed across her mind that she had never before seen
a Rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket or a watch to take out of it,
and, burning with curiosity, she ran across the field after it, and was
just in time to see it pop down a large rabbit-hole under the hedge.

In another moment down went Alice after it, never once consid-
ering how in the world she was to get out again.

The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way, and
then dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a moment
to think about stopping herself, before she found herself falling down
what seemed to be a very deep well.

Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly; for she had
plenty of time as she. went down to look about her, and to wonder
what was going to happen next. First, she tried to look down and
make out what she was coming to, but it was too dark to see anything ;
then she looked at the sides of the well, and noticed that they were
filled with cupboards and bookshelves: here and there she saw maps
and pictures hung upon pegs. She took down a jar from one of the
shelves as she passed; it was labelled “ORANGE MARMALADE,”
but to her great disappointment it was empty; she did not like to
drop the jar for fear of killing somebody underneath, so managed
to put it into one of the cupboards as she fell past it.

“Well,” thought Alice to herself, “ after such a fall as this, J
shall think nothing of tumbliig down-stairs. How brave they'll all
think me at home! Why, I wouldn’t say anything about it, even if I
fell off the top of the house.” (Which was very likely true.)

Down, down, down. Would the fall zever come to an end? “I
wonder how many miles I’ve fallen by this time?” she said aloud.
“IT must be getting somewhere near the centre of the earth. Let
me see, that would be four thousand miles down, I think” (for, you
see, Alice had learned several things of this sort in her lessons in
the schoolroom; and though this was not a very good opportunity



DOWN THE RABBIT—HOLE. II

for showing off her knowledge, as there was no one to listen to her,
still it was good practice to say it over); ‘yes, that’s about the right
distance—but then I wonder what latitude or longitude I’ve got to?”
(Alice had not the slightest idea what latitude was or longitude either,
but she thought they were nice grand words to say.)

Presently she began again. “I wonder if I shall fall right chrough
the earth! How funny it'll seem to come out among the people
that walk with their heads downward! The Antipathies, I think”
(she was rather glad there was no one listening this time, as it
didn’t sound at all the right word); “but I shall have to ask them
what the name of the country is, you know. Please, ma’am, is this
New Zealand or Australia?” (And she tried to courtesy as she spoke
— fancy courtesying as you're falling through the air! Do you think
you could manage it?) ‘And what an ignorant little girl she'll
think me for asking! No, it'll never do to ask; perhaps I shall see
it written up somewhere.”

Down, down, down. There was nothing else to do, so Alice soon
began talking again. ‘Dinah’ll miss me very much to-night, I should
think!” (Dinah was the cat.) ‘I hope they’ll remember her saucer
of milk at tea-time. Dinah, my dear! I wish you were down here
with me! There are no mice in the air, I’m afraid, but you might
catch a bat, and that’s very like a mouse, you know. But do cats
eat bats, I wonder?” And here Alice began to get rather sleepy,
and went on saying to herself, in a dreamy sort of way, ‘‘Do cats
eat bats? .Do cats eat bats?” and sometimes, “Do bats eat cats?”
for, you see, as she couldn’t answer either question, it didn’t much
matter which way she put it. She felt that she was dozing off, and had
just begun to dream that she was walking hand in hand with Dinah,
and was saying to her very earnestly, ‘‘ Now, Dinah, tell me the truth ;
did you ever eat a bat?” when suddenly, thump! thump! down she
came upon a heap of sticks and dry leaves, and the fall was over.

Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up on to her feet in a
moment. . She looked up, but it was all dark overhead; before her



12 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

was another long passage, and the white rabbit was still in sight,
hurrying down it. There was not a moment to be lost: away went
Alice like the wind, and was just in time to hear it say, as it turned
a corner, “Oh, my ears and whiskers, how late it’s getting!” She
was close behind it when she turned the corner, but the Rabbit was
no longer to be seen: she found herself in a long, low hall, which
was lit up by a row of lamps hanging from the roof.

There were doors all round the hall, but they were all locked,
and when Alice had been all the way down one side and up the
other, trying every door, she walked sadly down the middle, wonder-
ing how she was ever to get out again. Suddenly she came upon
a little three-legged table, all made of solid glass; there was nothing
on it but a tiny golden key, and Alice’s first idea was that this might
belong to one of the doors of the hall; but alas! either the locks
were too large, or the key was too small, but at any rate it would
not open any of them. However,
on the second time round, she came
upon a low curtain that she had not,
noticed before, and behind it was a
little door about fifteen inches high;
she tried the little golden key in the
lock, and.to her great delight it fitted!

Alice opened the door and found
that it led into a small passage, not
much larger than a rat-hole; she
knelt down, and looked along the

Rogar aaa gsr ee passage into the loveliest garden you
ever saw. How she longed to get’out of that dark hall, and wan-
der about among those beds of bright flowers and those cool foun-
tains, but she could not even get her head through the doorway;
thought poor Alice, “it
would be of very little use without my shoulders. Oh, how I wish I
could shut up like a telescope! I think I could, if I only knew how to



”

‘and even if my head would go through,



DOWN THE RABBIT—HOLE. 13

begin.” For, you see, so many out-of-the-way things had happened
lately that Alice had begun to think that very few things indeed were
really impossible. .

There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door; so she
went back to the table, half hoping she might find another key on it, or
at any rate a book of rules for shutting people up like telescopes. This
time she found a little bottle on it (“which certainly was not here be-
fore,” said Alice), and tied round the neck of the bottle was a paper
label with the words “ DRINK ME”
beautifully printed on it in large letters.

It was all very well to say “ Drink

e,” but the wise little Alice was not
going to do ¢kat in a hurry. ‘No, I'll
look first,” she said, ‘“‘and see whether
it's marked ‘pozson’ or not;” for she had
read several nice little stories about chil-
dren who had got burned, and eaten up
by wild beasts, and other unpleasant
things, ali because they would not re-
member the simple rules their friends
had taught them; such as, that a red-hot
poker will burn you if you hold it too



“DRINK ME.”

long; and that if you cut your finger
very deeply with a knife, it usually bleeds; and she had never for-
gotten that, if you drink much from a bottle marked “ poison,” it is
almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or later.

However, this bottle was of marked “ poison,” so Alice ventured
‘to taste it: and finding it very nice (it had, in fact, a sort of mixed flavor
of cherry tart, custard, pineapple, roast turkey, toffy, and hot buttered
toast), she very soon finished it off.



I4 ALICE’S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

“What a curious feeling!” said Alice ; ‘‘ I must be shutting up like
a telescope.”

And so it was indeed ; she was now only ten inches high, and her
face brightened up at the thought that she was now the right size for
going through the little door into that lovely garden. First, however,
she waited for a few minutes to see if she was going to shrink any fur-
ther ; she felt a little nervous about this, “ for it might end, you know,”
said Alice to herself, “in my going out altogether, like a candle. J]
wonder what I should be like then?” And she tried to fancy what the
flame of a candle looks like after the candle is blown out, for she could
not remember ever having seen such a thing.

After a while, finding that nothing more happened, she decided on
going into the garden at once; but, alas for poor Alice! when she got
to the door, she found she had forgotten the little golden key, and when
she went back to the table for it, she found she could not possible reach
it; she could see it quite plainly through the glass, and she tried her
best to climb up one of the legs of the table, but it was too slippery ;
and when she had tired herself out with trying, the poor little thing sat
down and cried.

‘Come, there’s no use in crying like that!” said Alice to herself,
rather sharply ; “I advise you to leave off this minute!” She gene-
rally gave herself very good advice (though she very seldom followed it),
and sometimes she scolded herself so severely as to bring tears into her
eyes ; and once she remembered trying to box her own ears for having
cheated herself in a game of croquet she was playing against herself, for
this curious child was very fond of pretending to be two people. “But
it’s no use now,” thought poor Alice, ‘‘ to pretend to be two people !
Why, there’s hardly enough of me left to make one respectable person !”

Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under the
table; she opened it, and found in it a very small cake, on which the
words ‘EAT. ME” were beautifully marked in currants. ‘“ Well, I'll
eat it,” said Alice; ‘and if it makes me grow larger, I can reach the
key; and if it makes me grow smaller, I can creep under the door;

’



Pee ee

DOWN THE RABBIT—HOLE. 15

so either way I'll get into the garden, and I don’t care which hap-
pens.”

She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to herself, “Which way?
Which way?” holding her hand on the top of her head to feel which
way it was growing, and she was quite surprised to find that she
remained the same size; to be sure, this is what. generally happens
when one eats cake, but Alice had got so much into the way of ex-
pecting nothing but out-of-the-way things to happen, that it seemed
quite dull and stupid for life to go on in the common way.

So she set to work, and very soon finished off the cake.



16

ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

CHAPTER II.

THE POOL OF TEARS.



“YM OPENING OUT!” CRIED ALICE,

‘“CURIOUSER and curiouser,” cried
Alice (she was so much surprised that
for the moment she quite forgot how
to speak good English); “now I’m
opening out like the largest telescope
that ever was! Good-by, feet” (for
when she looked. down at her feet,
they seemed to be almost out of sight,
they were getting so far off). “Oh,
my poor little feet, I wonder who will
put on your shoes and stockings for you
now, dears? I’m sure J sha’n’'t be
able! I shall be a great deal too far
off to trouble myself about you: you
must manage the best way you can; but
I must be kind to them,” thought Alice,
“or perhaps they won’t walk the way I
want to go! Let me see; I'll give them
a new pair of boots every Christmas.”

And she went on planning to her-
self how she would manage it. ‘They
must go by the carrier, ” she thought;
“and how funny it'll seem, sending
presents to one’s own feet. And how
odd the directions will look!”



THE POOL OF TEARS. 17

Alice's Right Foot, Esq.
Flearthrug,
near the Fender,
‘(with Alice's love).

‘Oh, dear, what nonsense I’m talking! ”

Just at this moment her head struck against the roof of the hall;
in fact, she was now rather more than nine feet high, and she at once
took up the little golden key and hurried off to the garden door.

Poor Alice! It was as much as she could do, lying down on one
side, to look through into the garden with one eye; but to get through
was more hopeless than ever: she sat down and began to cry again.

“You ought to be ashamed of yourself,” said Alice, “a great girl
like you” (she might well say this), “to go on crying in this way!
Stop, this moment, I tell you!” But she went on all the same, shed-
ding gallons of tears, until there was a large pool all round her, about
four inches deep, and reaching half down the hall.

After a time she heard a little pattering of feet in the distance,
and she hastily dried her eyes to see what was coming. It was
the White Rabbit returning, splendidly dressed, with a pair of white
kid gloves in one hand and a large fan in the other. He came trot-
ting along in a great hurry, muttering to himself as he came, “Oh!
the Duchess, the Duchess! Oh! won’t she be savage if I’ve kept
her waiting?” Alice felt so desperate that she was ready to ask help
of any one; so, when the Rabbit came near her, she began, in a low,
timid’ voice, “If you please, sir’— The Rabbit started violently,
dropped the white kid gloves and the fan, and skurried away into
the darkness as hard as he could go.

Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, as the hall was very hot,
she kept fanning herself all the time she went on talking. “Dear,
dear! How queer everything is to-day! And yesterday things went
on just as usual. I wonder if I’ve been changed in the night? Let
me think; was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost

)



18 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I’m not the
same, the next question is, who in the world am I? Ah, ¢hat’s the
great puzzle!” And she began thinking over all the children she
knew that were of the same age as herself, to see if she could have
been changed for any of them. .

“T’m sure I’m not Ada,” she said, “ for her hair goes in such long

mnie. and mine doesn’t go in ringlets at all; and I’m sure J can’t be
Mabel, for I know all
sorts of things, and she,
oh! she knows such a
very little! Besides, she’s
she, and /’# I, and—oh,
dear, how puzzling it all
is! I'll try if I know all
the things J used to know.
Let me see; four times
five is twelve, and four
times six is thirteen, and
four times seven is— oh,
dear! I shall never get
to twenty at that rate !
However, the multipli-
cation table don’t signi-
fy: let’s try geography.
London is the capital of
Paris, and Paris is. the
capital of Rome, and
Rome — no, ¢hat’s all
wrong, I’m certain! I must have been changed for Mabel! [ll try
and say, ‘How doth the little’””»— and she crossed her hands on
her lap, as if she were saying lessons, and began to repeat it; but
her voice sounded hoarse and strange, and the words did not come
the same as they used to do: —



THE RABBIT DROPPED THE FAN.





THE POOL OF TEARS. . 19

“How doth the little crocodile
Improve his shining tail,
And pour the waters of the Nile
On every golden scale!

How cheerfully he seems to grin,
How neatly spreads his claws,

And welcomes little fishes in
With gently smiling jaws!”

‘Tm sure those are not the right words,” said poor Alice; and her
eyes filled with tears again as she went on, “I must be Mabel after all,
and I shall have to go and live.in that poky little house, and have next
to no toys to play with, and oh, ever so many lessons to learn! No,
I’ve made up my mind about. it; if I’m Mabel, I'll stay down here!
It'll be no use their putting their heads down and saying, ‘Come up
again, dear!’ I shall only look up and say, ‘Who am J, then? Tell
me that first, and then, if I like being that person, I’ll come up; if
not, I'll stay down here till I’m somebody else’ — but, oh, dear!” cried
_ Alice, with a sudden burst of tears, “I do wish they would put their
heads down! Iam so zery tired of being all alone here!”

As she said this, she looked down at her hands, and was surprised
to see that she had put on one of the Rabbit's little white kid gloves
while she was talking. ‘How can I have done that?” she thought.
“I must be growing small again.” She got up and went to the table
to measure herself by it, and found that, as. nearly as she could guess,
she was now about two feet high, and was going on shrinking rapidly ;
she soon found out that the causé of this was the fan she was holding,
and she dropped it hastily, just in time to save herself from shrinking
away altogether. ’

“That was a narrow escape!” said Alice, a good deal frightened
at the sudden change, but very glad to find herself still in existence;
“and now for the garden,” and she ran with all her speed back to the
little door; but alas! the little door was shut again, and the little
golden key was lying on the glass table as before, “and things are



20 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

worse than ever,” thought the poor child, ‘for I never was so small
as this before, never! And I declare it’s too bad, that it is!”

As she said these words her foot slipped, and in another moment,
splash! she was up to her chin in salt water. Her first idea was that
she had somehow fallen into the sea, ‘and in that case I can go back
by railway,” she said to herself. (Alice had been at the seaside once
in her life, and had come to the gen-
eral conclusion that wherever you
go to on the English coast, you find
a number of bathing-machines in
the sea, some children digging in
the sand with wooden spades, then
a row of lodging-houses, and behind











Se them a railway station.) However,

= she soon made out that she was in
SSS the pool of tears which she had

eS oe pe OuE: wept when she was nine feet high.

‘“T wish I hadn't cried so much!” said Alice as she swam about, try-
ing to find her way out. “I shall be punished for it now, I suppose, by
being drowned in my own tears. That w7// be a queer thing, to be
sure! However, everything is queer to-day.”

Just then she heard something splashing about in the pool a little
way off, and she swam nearer to make out what it was; at first she
thought it must be a walrus or hippopotamus ; but then she remembered
how small she was now, and she soon made out that it was only a
mouse that had slipped in like herself.

“Would it be of any use, now,” thought Alice, “to speak to this
mouse? Everything is so out of the way down here, that I should
think very likely it can talk; at any rate, there’s no harm in trying.”
So she began, ‘“O Mouse, do you know the way out of this pool? I
am very tired of swimming about here, O Mouse!” (Alice thought
this must be the right way of speaking to a mouse; she had never done
such a thing before, but she remembered having seen in her brother’s



THE POOL OF TEARS. 21

Latin grammar, “ A mouse —of a mouse —to a mouse —a mouse —
O mouse!”) The Mouse looked at her rather inquisitively, and seemed
to her to wink with one of its little eyes, but it said nothing.

“Perhaps it doesn’t understand English,” thought Alice; ‘I dare
say it’s a French Mouse, come over with William the Conqueror.”
(For, with all her knowledge of history, Alice had no very clear notion
how long ago anything had happened.) So she began again: ‘‘ Ow est
ma chatte?” which was the first sentence in her French lesson-book.
The Mouse gave a sudden leap out of the water, and seemed to quiver
all over with fright. ‘Oh, 1 beg your pardon!” cried Alice hastily,
afraid that she had hurt the poor animal’s feelings, ‘I quite forgot you
didn’t like cats.”

“Not like cats!” cried the Mouse in a shrill, passionate voice.
“Would you like cats if you were me?” ,

‘Well, perhaps not,” said Alice in a soothing tone ; ‘don’t be angry
about it. And yet I
wish I could show you
our cat Dinah; I think
you'd take a fancy to



cats if you could only
see her. She is sucha
dear quiet thing,” Alice
went on, half to herself,
as she swam lazily about
in the pool; “and she



sits purring so nicely
by the fire, licking her
paws and washing her face; and she is such a nice soft thing to

BEG YOUR PARDON!” CRIED ALICE.

nurse; and she’s a capital one for catching mice —oh, I beg your
pardon!” cried Alice again; for this time the Mouse was bristling all
over, and she felt certain it must be really offended. ‘“ We won’t talk
about her any more if you'd rather not.”

«We, indeed!” cried the Mouse, who was trembling down tc the





22 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

end of his tail. ‘As if / would talk on such a subject! Our family
always hated cats — nasty, low, vulgar things! Don’t let me hear the
name again !”

“T won’t indeed !” said Alice in a great hurry to change the subject
of conversation. ‘“ Are you—are you fond—of—of dogs?” The
Mouse did not answer, so Alice went on eagerly: ‘There is such a
nice little dog near our house I should like to show you! A little
bright-eyed terrier, you know, with oh! such long, curly brown hair!
And it'll fetch things when you throw them, and it'll sit up and beg for
its dinner, and all sorts of things—I can’t remember half of them;
and it belongs to a farmer, you know, and he says it’s so useful, it’s
worth a hundred pounds! He says it kills all the rats and — oh, dear!”
cried Alice in a sorrowful tone, ‘I’m afraid I’ve offended it again!”
For the Mouse was swimming away from her as hard as it could go,
and making quite a commotion in the pool as it went.

So she called softly after it, “Mouse dear! do come back again,
and we won't talk about cats or dogs either, if you don’t like them!”
When the Mouse heard this, it turned round and swam slowly back to
her; its face was quite pale (with passion, Alice thought), and it said
in a low, trembling voice, ‘‘ Let us get to the shore, and then [ll tell
you my history, and you'll understand why it is I hate cats and dogs.”

It was high time to go, for the pool was getting quite crowded
‘with the birds and animals that had fallen into it: there was a Duck
and a Dodo, a Lory and an Eaglet, and several other curious crea-
tures. Alice led the way, and the whole party swam to the shore.



A CAUCUS-RACE AND A LONG TALE. 23

CHAPTER III.
A CAUCUS-RACE AND A LONG TALE.

Tuey were indeed a queer-looking party that assembled on the
bank, —the birds with draggled feathers, the animals with their fur
clinging close to
them, and all drip-
ping wet, cross, and
uncomfortable.

The first ques-
tion of course was,
howto getdry again.
They had aconsulta-
‘tion about this, and
after a few minutes
it seemed quite nat-
ural to Alice to find.
herself talking fa-
miliarly with them,



“LL MAKE YOU DRY ENOUGH!” SAID THE MOUSE,

as if she had known
them all her life. Indeed, she had quite a long argument with the
Lory, who at last turned sulky, and would only say, “I am older
than you, and must know better;” and this Alice would not allow,
without knowing how old it was, and as the Lory positively refused
to tell its age, there was no more to be said.

At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of some authority
among them, called out, ‘ Sit down, all of you, and listen tome! J’
soon make you dry enough!” They all sat down at once, in a large

ed

i



24 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

ring, with the Mouse in the middle. Alice kept her eyes anxiously
fixed on it, for she felt sure she would catch a bad cold if she did
not get dry very soon.

“Ahem!” said the Mouse with an important air, “are you all
ready? This is the dryest thing I know. Silence all round, if you
please! ‘William the Conqueror, whose cause was favored by the
pope, was soon submitted to by the English, who wanted leaders, and
had been of late much accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Ed-
win and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria ” —

“Ugh!” said the Lory with a shiver.

“TI beg your pardon,” said the Mouse, frowning, but very po-

.

litely ; ‘did you speak?”
“Not I!” said the Lory hastily.
“T thought you did,” said the Mouse. “I proceed. ‘Edwin and
Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him; and
even Stigand, the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, found it ad-

yo)

visable’ ” —
“Found what?” said the Duck.
‘Found 2¢,” the Mouse replied rather crossly; “of course you

»

know what ‘it’ means.”
‘‘T know what ‘it’ means well enough when / find a thing,” said

the Duck; ‘it’s generally a frog or a worm. The question is, what
did the archbishop find?”

The Mouse did not notice this question, but hurriedly went on,
“* Found it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William and
offer him the crown. William’s conduct at first was moderate. But
the insolence of his Normans’— How are you getting on now, my
dear?” it continued, turning to Alice as he spoke.

‘“As wet.as ever,” said Alice in a melancholy tone; “it doesn’t
seem to dry me at all.”

“In that case,” said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet, “I move

that the meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of more ener-.

getic remedies ” —



A CAUCUS—-RACE AND A’ LONG TALE. 25

“Speak English!” said the Eaglet. ‘I don’t know the meaning
of half those long words, and what’s more, I don’t believe you do
either!” And the Eaglet bent down his head to hide a smile: some
of the other birds tittered audibly.

“What I was going to say,” said the Dodo in an offended tone,
“was that the best thing to get us dry would be a caucus-race.”

‘What zs a caucus-race?” said Alice; not that she much wanted
to know, but the Dodo had paused as if it thought that somebody ought
to speak, and no one else seemed inclined to say anything.

“Why,” said the Dodo, “the best way to explain it is to do it.” .

(And as you might like to try the thing yourself, some winter day, I
will tell you how the Dodo managed it.)

First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle (‘the exact
shape doesn’t matter,” it said), and then all the party were placed
along the course, here and there. There was no “ One, two, three,

and away ;” but they began running when they liked and left off when,

they liked, so that it was not easy to know when the race was over.
However, when they had been running half an hour or so, and were
quite dry again, the Dodo suddenly called out, “The race is over!”
and they all crowded round it, panting and asking, “ But who has won ?”

_ This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal of
thought, and it sat for a long time with one finger pressed upon its
forehead (the position in which you usually see Shakespeare, in the
pictures of him), while the rest waited in silence. At last the Dodo
said, “Everybody has won, and all must have prizes.”

‘‘ But who is to give the prizes?” quite a chorus of voices asked.

“Why, she, of course,” said the Dodo, pointing to Alice with one
finger; and the whole party at once crowded round her, calling out in
a confused way, ‘‘ Prizes, prizes!”

Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put her‘hand into
her pocket, and pulled out a box of comfits (luckily the salt water had
not got into it), and handed them round as prizes. There was exactly
one a-piece all round.



26 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

“But she must have a prize herself, you know,” said the Mouse.

“Of course,” the Dodo replied very gravely. ‘‘ What else have —
you got in your pocket?” he went on, turning to Alice.

‘“ Only a thimble,” said Alice sadly.

‘Hand it over here,” said the Dodo.

Then they all crowded round her once more, while the Dodo sol-

emnly presented the thimble, saying, ‘‘ We beg your acceptance of this
elegant thimble;” and when it had fin-

ished this short speech, they all cheered.
Alice thought the whole thing
very absurd; but they all
looked so grave that she
did not dare to laugh, and
as she could not think of



anything to say, she sim-
ply bowed, and took the
thimble, looking as sol-
emn as she could.

The next thing was
to eat the comfits. This
was the cause of some
noise and confusion; the
large birds complained
that they could not taste
theirs, and the small ones

THE DODO PRESENTS THE THIMBLE, choked and had to be
patted on the back. However, it was over at last, and they sat down
again in a ring, and begged the Mouse to tell them something more.

“You promised to tell me your history, you know,” said Alice,
“and why it is you hate—C and D,” she added in a whisper, half
afraid that it would be offended again.

“Mine is a long and a sad tale!” said the Mouse, turning to Alice,
and sighing.



A CAUCUS—RACE AND A LONG TALE. 27

“Tt zs.a long tail, certainly,” said Alice, looking down with wonder at
the Mouse’s tail ; ‘‘ but why do you call itsad?” And she kept on puz-
zling about it while the Mouse was speaking, so that her idea of the tale

was something like this : —

“Fury said to
a mouse, That
he met
in the
house,
‘Let us
both go
to law:
f will
prosecute
you. —
Come, I’ll
_take no
denial:
We must
have a
trial ;
For
really
this
morning
I’ve
nothing
to do.’
Said the
mouse to
the cur,
©Such a
trial,
dear sir,
With no
jury or
judge,
would be
wasting
our breath.’
‘Tl be
judge,
Tll be ’
jury,’
Said
cunning
old Fury ;
‘Tl try
the whole
cause,
ani

condemn
you

to
death.”

“You are not attending!” said the
Mouse to Alice severely. ‘What are
you thinking of?”

“T beg your pardon,” said Alice very
humbly; ‘‘ you had got to the fifth bend,
I think.”

“JT had wzot/” cried the Mouse
sharply, and very angrily.

‘A knot!” said Alice, always ready
to make herself useful, and looking anx-
iously about her. ‘Oh, do let me help
to undo it!”

~“T shall do nothing of the sort,” said
the Mouse, getting up and walking away.
“You insult me by talking such non-
sense |”

“T didn’t mean it!” pleaded poor
Alice. ‘But you're so easily offended,
you. know.”

The Mouse only growled in reply.

“Please come back, and finish your
story!” Alice called after it; and the
others all joined in chorus, “ Yes, please
do!” but the Mouse only shook its head
impatiently, and walked a little quicker.

“What a pity it wouldn't stay!”
sighed the Lory, as soon as it was quite
out of sight; and an old crab took the
opportunity of saying to her daughter,



28 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

‘Ah, my dear! let this be a lesson to you never to lose your tem-
per!” .
“Hold your tongue, ma!” said the young crab a little snappishly ;
“‘you’re enough to try the patience of an oyster!”

“JT wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do!” said Alice aloud,
addressing nobody in particular. ‘“She’d soon fetch it back!”

“And who is Dinah, if I might venture to‘ask the question?”
said the Lory.

Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to talk about her
_ pet. ‘Dinah’s our cat. And she’s such a capital one for catching
mice, you can’t think! .And oh, I wish you could see her after the
birds! Why, she'll eat a little bird as soon as look at it!”

This speech caused a remarkable sensation among the party.
Some of the birds hurried off at once; one old magpie began wrap-
ping itself up very carefully, remarking, “I really must be getting
home; the night air doesn’t suit my throat!” and a canary called out
in a trembling voice to its children, ‘Come away, my dears! It’s
high time you were all in bed!” On various pretexts they all moved
off, and Alice was soon left alone.

“T wish I hadn’t mentioned Dinah!” she said to herself in a mel-

ancholy tone. ‘Nobody seems to like her down here, and I’m sure
she’s the best cat in the world! Oh, my dear Dinah! I wonder if
I shall ever see you any more!” And here poor Alice began to ery

again, for she felt very lonely and low-spirited. In a little while,
however, she again heard a little pattering of footsteps in the dis-
tance;.and she looked up eagerly, half hoping that the Mouse had
changed his mind, and was coming back to finish his story.



THE RABBIT SENDS IN A LITTLE BILL. 29

CHAPTER IV.
THE RABBIT SENDS IN A LITTLE BILL.

Ir was the White Rabbit, trotting slowly back again, and looking
anxiously about as it went, as if it had lost something ; and she heard
it muttering to itself, “The Duchess! The Duchess! Oh, my dear
paws! Oh, my fur and whiskers! She'll get me executed, as sure
as ferrets are ferrets! Where caz Ihave dropped them, I wonder!”
Alice guessed in a moment that it was looking for the fan and the
pair of white kid gloves, and she very good-naturedly began hunt-
ing about for them; but they were nowhere to be seen — everything
seemed to have cae since her swim in the pool, and the great
hall, with the glass table and the little door, had- vanished completely.

Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice, as she went hunting about,
and called out to her in an angry tone, “ Why, Mary Ann, what are
you doing out here? Run home this moment, and fetch me a pair
of gloves and a fan! Quick, now!” And Alice was so much fright-
ened that she ran off at once in the direction it pointed to, without
trying to explain the mistake that it had made.

“He took me for his housemaid,” she said to herself as she ran.
‘How surprised he'll be when he finds out whoI am! But I’d bet-
ter take him his fan and gloves—that is, if I can find them.” As
she said this, she came upon a neat little house, on the door of which
was a bright brass plate, with the name “W. RABBIT” engraved
upon it. She went in without knocking, and hurried up-stairs, in great
fear lest she should meet the real Mary Ann, and be turned out of
the house before she had found the fan and gloves.

‘How queer it seems,” Alice said to herself, “to be going mes-



30 ALICE’S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

sages for a rabbit! I suppose Dinah’ll be sending me on messages
next!” And she began fancying the sort of thing that would hap-
pen: ‘“‘Miss Alice! Come here directly, and get ready for your walk!’
‘Coming in a minute, nurse! But I’ve got to watch this mousehole
till Dinah comes back, and see that the mouse doesn’t get out.’ Only
I don’t think,” Alice went on, ‘“ that they’d let Dinah stop in the house
if it began ordering people about like that!”

By this time she had found her way into a tidy little room with a
table in the window, and on it (as she had hoped) a fan and two or
three pairs of tiny white kid gloves. She took up the fan and a pair
of the gloves, and was just going to leave the room, when her eye fell
upon a little bottle that stood near the looking-glass. There was no
label this time with the words “DRINK ME;” but nevertheless she
uncorked it, and put it to her lips. “I know something interesting is
sure to happen,” she said to herself, “whenever I eat or drink anything;
so I'll just see what
this bottle does. I
do hope it'll make
me grow largeagain,
for really I’m quite
tired of being such
a tiny little thing!”

It did so indeed,
much sooner than
she expected; and



PP \\\\WSS
Laud) LASS : I] before she had
Sz f WV 4 22 || drunk half the bot-
= tle, she found her
WHAT HAPPENED TO ALICE, head pressing hard

against the ceiling, and had to stoop to save her neck from being
broken. She hastily put down the bottle, saying to herself, ‘ That's:
quite enough —I hope I sha’n’t grow any more —as it is, I can’t get
out at the door—I do wish I hadn't drunk quite so much!”



THE RABBIT SENDS IN A LITTLE BILL. 31

Alas! It was too late to wish that! She went on growing and
' growing, and very soon had to kneel down on the floor. In another
minute there was not even room for this; and she tried the effect of
lying down, with one elbow against the door, and the other arm curled
round her head. Still she went on growing; and, as a last resource,
she put one arm out of the window, and one foot up the chimney, and
said to herself, ‘‘ Now I can do no more, whatever happens. What w2d/
become of me?”

Luckily for Alice, the little magic bottle had now had its full effect,
and she grew no larger; still it was very uncomfortable, and as there
seemed to be no sort of chance of her ever getting out of the room
again, no wonder she felt unhappy.

‘Tt was much pleasanter at home,” thought poor Alice, ‘when one
wasn’t always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about by
mice and rabbits. I almost wish I hadn’t gone down that rabbit-hole ~
—and yet—and yet — it’s rather curious, you know, this sort of life !
I do wonder what caz have happened to me! When I used to read
fairy-tales, I] fancied that kind of thing never happened, and now here
I am in the middle of one. There ought to be a book written about
me, that there ought! And when I grow up, I'll write one — but I’m
grown up now,” she added in a sorrowful tone; ‘at least, there’s no
room to grow up any more here.”

“ But then,” thought Alice, “ shall I zever get any older than I am
-now? ‘That'll be a comfort, one way — never to be an old woman —
but then always to have lessons to learn! Oh, I shouldn't like chat.”

““Oh, you foolish Alice!”. she answered herself. ‘How can you
learn lessons in here? Why, there’s hardly room for you, and no
room at all for any lesson-books !”

And so she went on, taking first one side and then the other, and
making quite a conversation of it altogether; but after a few minutes
she heard a voice outside, and stopped to listen.

‘Mary Ann! Mary Ann!” said the voice, “fetch me my gloves
this moment!” Then came a little pattering of feet on the stairs. -





32 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

Alice knew it was the Rabbit coming to look for her; and she trembled |
till she shook the house, quite forgetting that she was now about a thou-
sand times as large as the Rabbit, and had no reason to be afraid of it.
Presently the Rabbit came up to the door, and tried to open it; but
as the door opened inward, and Alice’s elbow was pressed hard against
it, that attempt proved a failure. Alice heard it a to itself, “Then

T'll go round and get in at the window.”
“ That you won't!” thought Alice;

and after waiting till she fancied she heard
the Rabbit just under the window, she
suddenly spread out her- hand, and made
a snatch in the air. She did not get hold
of anything ; but she heard a little shriek —
and a fall, and a crash of broken glass,
from which she concluded that it was just
possible it had fallen into a cucumber-
frame, or something of the sort.

Next came an angry voice, — the
Rabbit’s, —‘‘Pat! Pat! Where are you?”
And then a voice she had never heard ©
befores source, then hime here! Digging
for apples, yer honor!”

“ Digging for apples, indeed!” said the Rabbit angrily. “ Here!
Come and help me out of ¢#zs/” (Sounds of more broken glass.)

“ Now tell me, Pat, what’s that in the window?”

“Sure, it’s an arm, yer honor!” (He pronounced it “arrum.”

“An arm, you goose! Who ever saw one that size? Why, it
fills the whole window!”

‘Sure, it does, yer honor; but it’s an arm, for all that.”

“Well, it’s got no business there, at any rate; go and take it away!”

There was a long silence after this; and Alice could only hear
whispers now and then, such as, “Sure, I don’t like it, yer honor, at
allpat allie

Zr
OLED

‘f
i
i
1)
1)

rrr

aa



= =a 4
‘ PHO v

SED ee

ALICE SPRFAD OUT HER HAND,



THE RABBIT SENDS IN A LITTLE BILL. 33

“Do.as I tell you, you coward!” and at last she spread out her
hand, again and made another snatch in the air. This time there were
two little shrieks, and more sounds of broken glass. “What a number
of cucumber-frames there must be!” thought Alice. “I wonder what
they'll do next! As for pulling me out of the window, I only wish
they could. I’m sure / don’t want to stay in here any longer!”

She waited for some time without hearing anything more. At last
came a rumbling of little cart-wheels, and the sound of a good many
voices all talking together; she made out the words, ‘‘ Where’s the |
other ladder ?>— Why, I hadn’t to bring but one; Bill’s got the other.
— Bill! fetch it here, lad! — Here, put ’em up at this corner — No,
tie °em together first — they don’t reach half high enough yet — Oh!
they'll do well enough; don’t be particular — Here, Bill! catch hold
of this rope — Will the roof bear ?— Mind that loose slate — Oh, it’s
coming down! Heads below!” (a loud crash) — ‘“ Now, who did
that ?— It was Bill, I fancy — Who’s to go down the chimney ?—
Nay, Z sha’n’'t! You do it!— That I won't then !— Bill’s got to go
down — Here, Bill! the master says you've got to go down the
chimney !”

‘“Oh, so Bill’s got to come down the chimney, has he?” said
Alice to herself. ‘ Why, they seem to put everything upon Bill !
I wouldn’t be in Bill’s place fora good deal; this fireplace is narrow,
to be sure, but I ¢#4zz& I can kick a little.”

_ She drew her foot as far down the chimney as she could, and
waited till she heard a little animal (she couldn’t guess of what sort
it was) scratching and scrambling about in the chimney close above
her; then, saying to herself, “ This is Bill,” she gave one sharp kick,
and waited to see what would happen next.

The first thing she heard was a general chorus of ‘There goes
Bill!” then the Rabbit’s voice alone,.‘‘ Catch him, you by the hedge!”
then silence, and then another confusion of voices —‘“ Hold up his
head — Brandy now— Don’t choke him — How was it, old fellow? —
What happened to you?—Tell us all about it!”







34

ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

Last came a little feeble squeaking voice (‘ That’s Bill,” thought
Alice), “Well, I hardly know —no more, thank ye, I’m better now
. — but I’m a deal too flustered to tell you —all I know is, something

comes

at me like a Jack-in-the-box, and up I goes like a sky-rocket!”

“So you did, old fellow!” said the others.







SQA) WANG,

ee int

Sn
SS
SO

WS
\

SAN
S

SH \ STN
ne

S

w)\
he tify i)
a






Ss
SS
SS

ll lS

SS

eS Se

LS

“THERE GOES BILL!”

«“We must burn the “house down!” said
the Rabbit’s voice, and Alice called out as
loud as she could, “If you do, I'll set Dinah
at you!”

There was a dead silence instantly; and
Alice thought to herself, “I wonder what they
will do next! If they had any sense, they'd
take the roof off.” After a minute or two
they began moving about again, and Alice
heard the Rabbit say, “A barrowful will do,
to begin with.”

“A barrowful of what?” thought Alice ;
but she had not long to doubt, for the next
moment a shower of little pebbles came rat-
tling in at the window, and some of them hit
her in the face. “I'll put a stop to this,” she
said to herself, and shouted out, ‘‘ You'd
better not do that again!” which produced
another dead silence.

Alice noticed with some surprise that the
pebbles were all turning into little cakes as
they lay on the floor, and a bright idea came |
into her head. ‘‘1f I eat one of these cakes,”
she thought, “it’s sure to make some change
in my size; and as it can’t possibly make me

larger, it must make me smaller, I suppose.”
So she swallowed one of the cakes, and was delighted to find that _
she began shrinking directly. As soon as she was small enough to



THE RABBIT SENDS IN A LITTLE BILL. 35

get through the door, she ran out of the house, and found quite a
crowd of little animals and birds waiting outside. The poor little
lizard, Bill, was in the middle, being held up by two guinea-pigs, who
were giving it something out of a bottle. They all made a rush at
Alice the moment she appeared; but she ran off as hard as she could,
and soon found herself safe in a thick wood.

“The first thing I’ve got to do,” said Alice to herself, as she wan-
dered about in the wood, ‘‘is to grow to my right size again; and the
second thing is to find my way into that lovely garden. I think that
will be the best plan.”

It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, ane very neatly and simply
arranged ; the only difficulty was, that she had not the smallest idea :
how to set about it; and while she was peering about anxiously among
the trees, a little sharp bark just over her head made her look up in a
great hurry.

An enormous puppy was looking down at ‘her with large round
eyes, and feebly stretching out one paw, trying to touch her. “ Poor
little thing!” said Alice in a coaxing tone; and she tried hard to
whistle to it, but she was terribly frightened all the time at the thought
that it might be hungry, in which case it would be ae likely to eat
her up in spite of all her coaxing.

Hardly knowing what she did, she picked up a little bit of stick,
and held it out to the puppy; whereupon the puppy jumped into the
air off all its feet at once, with a yelp of delight, and rushed at the
stick, and made believe to worry it; then Alice dodged behind a great
thistle, to keep herself from being run over, and the moment she
appeared on the other side, the puppy made another rush at the stick,
and tumbled head over heels in its hurry to get hold of it; then Alice,
thinking it was very like having a game of play with a cart-horse, and
expecting every moment to be trampled under his feet, ran round the
thistle again; then the puppy began a series of short charges at the
stick, running a very little way forward each time and a long way back, »
and barking hoarsely all the while, till at last it sat down a good way



36 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

off, panting, with its tongue hanging out of its mouth, and its great
eyes half shut.

This seemed to Alice a good opportunity for making her escape ;
so she set off at once, and ran till she was quite tired and out of breath,
and till the puppy’s bark sounded quite faint in the distance.

« And yet what a dear little puppy it was,” said Alice, as she leaned

HY,

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em P By Nid esing 7M: pw 7,
" 7 ; k ;
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hyp? ;

fi



THE ENORMOUS PUPPY.

against a buttercup to rest herself, and fanned herself with one of the
leaves. ‘I should have liked teaching it tricks very much, if — if I’d
only been the right size to do it! Oh,dear! I'd nearly forgotten that
I've got to grow up again. Let me see — how zs it to be managed ?



THE RABBIT SENDS IN A LITTLE BILL. 37

I suppose I ought to eat or drink something or other, but the great
question is, what ?”

The great question certainly was, ere Alice looked all round
her at the flowers and the blades of grass, but she could not see any-
thing that looked like the right thing to eat or drink under the circum-
stances. There was a large mushroom growing near her, about the
same height as herself; and when she had looked under it, and on both
sides of it, and behind it, it occurred to her that she might as well look
and see what was on the top of it.

She stretched herself up on tiptoe, and eed over the edge of
the mushroom; and her eyes immediately met those of a large blue
caterpillar that was sitting on the top with its arms folded, quietly
smoking a long hookah, and taking not the smallest notice a her or
of anybody olga:



38

ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

CHAPTER V.

ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR.

Tue Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other in silence. At last.
the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth, and addressed her in

VA

AY
HN

x

ZF.

S=

— =

Li,

3/22

THE CATERPILLAR ADDRESSING ALICE,

“I don’t see,” said the Caterpillar.



a languid, sleepy voice.

‘“Who are you?” said the
Caterpillar.

This was not an encoura-
ging opening for a conversa-
tion. Alice replied rather shyly,
“1 —] hardly know, sir, just at
present — at least, I know who
I was when I got up this morn-
ing, but I think I must have
been changed several times
since then.”

“What do you mean by
that?” said the Caterpillar stern-
ly. ‘“ Explain yourself.”

“I cannot explain myself,
I’m afraid, sir,” said Alice,
“because I’m not myself, you

“Tm afraid I can’t put it more clearly,” Alice replied very politely;
“for I can’t understand it myself to begin with ; and being so many
different sizes in a day is very confusing.”



ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR. 39

“Tt isn’t,” said the Caterpillar.

«Well, perhaps you haven’t found it so yet,” said Alice; “ but when
you have to turn into a chrysalis, — you will some day, you know, — and
then after that into a butterfly, I should think you'll feel it a little queer,
won't you?”

“Not a bit,” said the Caterpillar.

«Well, perhaps your feelings may be different,” said Alice; “all I
know is, it would feel very queer to me.” .

“You!” said the Caterpillar contemptuously. ‘Who are you ?”

Which brought them back again to the beginning of the conversa-
tion. Alice felt a little irritated at the caterpillar’s making such very
short remarks, and she drew herself up. and said, very gravely, “I think
you ought to tell me who you are, first.”

“Why ?” said the Caterpillar.

Here was another puzzling question ; and, as Alice could not think
of any good reason, and as the Caterpillar seemed to be in a very un-
pleasant state of mind, she turned away.

“Come back!” the Caterpillar called after her. “I’ve something
important to say!”

This sounded promising, certainly. Alice turned and came back
again.

‘Keep your temper,” said the Caterpillar.

‘Ts that all?” said Alice, swallowing down her anger as well as she
could.

“No,” said the Caterpillar.

Alice thought she might as well wait, as she had nothing else to do,
and perhaps after all it might tell her something worth hearing. For
some minutes it puffed away without speaking; but at last it unfolded
its arms, took the hookah out of its mouth again, and said, “So you
think you’re changed, do you?”

“Tm afraid I am, sir,” said Alice; ‘I can’t remember things as I
used — and I don’t keep the same size for ten minutes together!”

‘““Can’t remember what things?” said the Caterpillar.









ALICE’'§ ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

“Well, I’ve tried to say, ‘ How doth the little busy bee,’ but it all

came different!” Alice replied in a very melancholy voice.
‘Repeat ‘ You are old, Father Willianz,’” said the Caterpillar.

Alice folded her.hands, and began : —

“*Vou are old, Father William,’ the young man said,

‘And your hair has become very white ;
And yet you incessantly stand on your head—
Do you think, at your age, it is right?’

Fes itn,



Wiggs :

FATHER WILLIAM STANDS ON HIS HEAD.

‘In my youth,’ Father William replied to his son,
‘I feared it might injure the brain;

But now that I’m perfectly sure I have none,
Why, I do it again and again.’

“You are old,’ said the youth, ‘as I mentioned before,
And have grown most uncommonly fat;

Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door —
Pray, what is the reason of that?’

‘In my youth,’ said the sage, as he shook his Bray, locks,
‘I kept all my limbs very supple

By the use of this ointment — one shilling the box —_
Allow me to sell you a couple.’



ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR.

Lz
LL ogee,
Megs

LN
LL ILe,
LULL.



FATHER WILLIAM TURNS A SOMERSAULT.

‘You are old,’ said the youth, ‘and your jaws are too weak
For anything tougher than suet ;

Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak:
Pray, how did you manage to do it?’



FATHER WILLIAM FINISHES THE GOOSE,.

41



42 ALICE’S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

‘In my youth,’ said his father, ‘I took to the law,
And argued each case with my wife’;

And the muscular strength which it gave to my jaw,
Has lasted the rest of imy life.’

‘You are old,’ said the youth; ‘one would hardly suppose

That your eye was as steady as ever; .
Yet you balance an eel on the end of your nose —

What made you so awfully clever?’



ty Se ad



4 AMuniGer

FATHER WILLIAM BALANCES THE EEL,

‘I have answered three questions, and that is enough,’ '
Said his father; ‘don’t give yourself airs;

Do you think I can listen all day to. such stuff?
Be off, or I’ll kick you down stairs!’”

“That is not said right,” said the Caterpillar. .

‘Not guzte right, I’m afraid,” said Alice timidly; ‘‘some of the
words have got altered.”

“It is wrong from beginning to end,” said the Caterpillar decidedly ;
and there was silence for some minutes.

The Catetpillar was the first to speak.

‘What size do you want to be?” it asked.



ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR. . L 43

“Oh, I'm not particular as to size,” Alice hastily replied; “ only one
doesn’t like changing so often, you know.”

“J donw't know,” said the Caterpillar.

_ Alice said nothing ; she had never been so much contradicted in all
her life before, and she felt that she was losing her temper.

“ Are you content now?” said the Caterpillar.

“Well, I should like to be a /z##le larger, sir, if you wouldn’t mind,”
said Alice: ‘‘ three inches is such a wretched height to be.”

“Tt is a very good height indeed!” said the Caterpillar angrily,
rearing itself upright as it spoke (it was exactly three inches high).

“But ’m not used to it!” pleaded poor Alice in a piteous tone.
And she thought to herself, “I wish the creatures wouldn’t be. so
easily offended!”

‘You'll get used to it in time,” said the Caterpillar; and it put the
hookah into its mouth and began smoking again.

This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak again. In
a minute or two the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth, and
yawned once or twice, and shook itself. Then it got down off the
mushroom, and crawled away into the grass, merely remarking as it
went, “One side will make you grow taller, and the other side will
make you grow shorter.”

‘One side of what? The other side of what?” thought Alice to
herself. ;

‘‘Of the mushroom,” said the Caterpillar, just as if she asked it
aloud ; and in another moment it was out of sight.

Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a minute,
trying to make out which were the two sides of it; and as it was per-
fectly round, she found this a very difficult question. However, at last
she stretched her arms round it as far as they would go, and broke off
a bit of the edge with each hand. .

“And now which is which?” she said to herself, and nibbled a
little of the right-hand bit to try the effect: the next moment she felt
a violent blow underneath her chin; it had struck her foot!

e



44 _ ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

She was a good deal frightened by this very sudden change, but
she felt that there was no time to be lost, as she was shrinking rapidly;
so she set to work at once to eat some of the other bit. Her chin was
pressed so closely against her foot that there was hardly room to open
her mouth; but she did it at last, and managed to swallow a morsel of
the left-hand bit.

* * * * ke

* * * * &

‘Come, my head’s free at last!” said Alice in a tone of delight,
which changed into alarm in another moment, when she found that
her shoulders were nowhere to be found; all she could’ see, when she
looked down, was an immense length of neck, which seemed to rise
like a stalk out of a sea of green leaves that lay far below her.

‘What caz all that green stuff be?” said Alice. ‘* And where have
my shoulders got to? And oh, my poor hands, how is it I can’t see
you?” She was moving them about as she spoke, but no result seemed
to follow, except a little shaking among the distant green leaves.

As there seemed to be no chance of getting her hands up to her
head, she tried to get her head’ down to them, and was delighted to
find that her neck would bend about easily in-any direction, like a
serpent. She had,just succeeded in curving it down into a graceful
zigzag, and was going to dive in among the leaves, which she found to
be nothing but the tops of the trees under which she had been wander-
ing, when a sharp hiss made her draw back ina hurry. A large pigeon
had flown into her face, and was beating her violently with its wings.

“Serpent!” screamed the Pigeon.

“Tm zo¢ a serpent!” said Alice indignantly. ‘“ Let me alone!”

‘‘ Serpent, I say again!” repeated the Pigeon, but in a more sub-
dued tone, and added with a kind of sob, “I’ve tried every way, and
nothing seems to suit them! ”

“I haven’t the least idea what you're talking about,” said Alice.



ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR. - 7 45

“T’ve tried the roots of trees, and I’ve tried banks, and I’ve tried
hedges,” the Pigeon went on, without attending to her; ‘but those
serpents! There's no pleasing them!”

‘Alice was more and more puzzled, but she thought there was no
use in saying anything more till the Pigeon had finished.

“As if it wasn’t trouble enough hatching the eggs,” said the
Pigeon, “but I must be on the lookout for serpents night and day!
Why, I haven’t had a wink of sleep these three weeks!”

‘“['m very sorry you’ve been annoyed,” said Alice, who was be-
ginning to see its meaning.

‘“And just as I'd taken the highest tree in the wood,” continued
the Pigeon, raising its voice to a shriek, ‘“‘ and just as I was thinking I]
should be free of them at-last, they must needs come wriggling down
from the sky! Ugh! Serpent!”

‘But I’m zo¢ a serpent, I tell you!” said Alice, “I’m a—I’m a” —

“Well, what are you?” said the Pigeon. ‘I can see you're try-
ing to invent something!”

‘““T—Tm a little girl,” said Alice rather doubtfully, as she remem-
bered the number of changes she had gone through that day.

‘A likely story indeed!” said the Pigeon in a tone of the deepest
contempt.. ‘I’ve seen a good many little girls in my time, but never
one with such a neck as that! No, no! You're a serpent; and
there’s no use denying it. I suppose you'll be telling me next that
-you never tasted an egg!”

‘“T have tasted eggs, certainly,” said Alice, who was a very truthful
child ; “ but little girls eat eggs quite as much as serpents do, you know.”

‘“ T don’t believe it,” said the Pigeon; “but if they do, why then
they're a kind of serpent, that’s all I can say.”

This was such a new idea to Alice, that she was quite silent for a
minute or two, which gave the Pigeon the opportunity of adding,
‘You're looking. for eggs, I know ¢ha¢ well enough; and what does it
matter to me whether youre a little girl or a serpent?”

~“Tt matters a good deal to me,” said Alice hastily; “but I’m not



46 ALICE’S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

looking for eggs, as it papper ; and if I was, I shouldn’t want yours ;
I don’t like them raw.’

“Well, be off, then!” said the ek in a sulky tone, as it settled
down again into its nest. Alice crouched down among the trees as
well as she could, for her neck kept getting entangled among the
branches, and every now and then she had to stop and untwist it.
After a while she remembered that she still held the pieces of mush-
room in her hands, and she set to work very carefully, nibbling first at
one and then at the other, and growing sometimes taller and some-
times shorter, until she had succeeded in bringing herself down to her
usual height.

It was so long since she had been anything near the right size,
that it felt quite strange at first; but she got used to it in a few min-
utes, and began talking to herself as usual. ‘Come, there’s half my
plan done now! How puzzling all these changes are! I’m never
sure what I’m going to be, from one minute to another! However,
I’ve got back to. my right size; the next thing is, to get into that
beautiful garden — how zs that to be done, I wonder?” As she said
this, she came suddenly upon an open place, with a little house in it
about four feet high. ‘ Whoever lives there,” thought Alice, ‘it ‘ll
never do to come upon them ¢hzs size; why, 1 should frighten them
out of their wits!”» So she began nibbling at the right-hand bit again,
and did not venture to go near the house till she had brought herself
down to nine inches high.



PIG AND PEPPER, 47

CHAPTER VI.
PIG AND PEPPER.

For a minute or two she stood looking at the house, and wonder-
ing what to do next, when suddenly a footman in livery came running
out of the wood (she con-
sidered him to be a foot- § 7 HR



man because he was in
livery ; otherwise, judging
by his face only, she would
have called hima fish), and
rapped loudly at the door
with his knuckles. It was
opened by another footman
in livery, with a round face
and large eyes, like a frog;
and both footmen, Alice no-
ticed, had powdered hair,
that curled all over their
heads. She felt very curi-
ous to know what it was all 2
about, and crept a little way ; ; Zi” Ur a Non ron
out of the-wood to listen. . , (LP Biches rac CE Vn,
The Fish-Footman be-
gan by producing from un-



“FOR THE DUCHESS.”

der his arm a great letter, nearly as large as himself, and this he handed
over to the other, saying in a solemn tone, “ For the Duchess. An in-
vitation from the Queen to play croquet.” The Frog-Footman repeated





48 ALICE’S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

in the same solemn tone, only changing the order of the words a little,
‘From the Queen. An invitation for the Duchess to play croquet.”

Then they both bowed low, and their curls got entangled together.

Alice laughed so much at this that she had to run back into the
wood for fear of their hearing her; and when she next peeped out, the
Fish-Footman was gone, and the other was sitting on the ground near
the door, staring stupidly up into the sky.

Alice went timidly up to the door, and knocked.

““There’s no sort of use in knocking,” said the Footman, “and |
that for two reasons. First, because I’m on the same side of the door
as you are; secondly, because they’re making such a noise inside no
one could possibly hear you.” And certainly there was a most extra-
ordinary noise going on within,—a.constant howling and sneezing,
and every now and then a great crash, as if a dish or kettle had
been broken to pieces.

‘Please, then,” said Alice, ‘how am I to get in?”

“There might be some sense in your knocking,” the Footman went
on, without attending to her, “if we ‘had the door between us. For
instance, if you were zzszde, you might knock, and I could let you out,
you know.” He was looking up into the sky all the time he was
. speaking, and this Alice thought decidedly uncivil. ‘ But perhaps he
can’t help it,” she said to herself; “his eyes are so very nearly at the
top of his head. But at any rate he might answer questions. ‘“ How
am I to get in?” she repeated aloud.

‘‘T shall sit here,” the Footman remarked, “ till to-morrow ” —

At this moment the door of the house opened, and a large plate
came skimming out, straight at the Footman’s head ; it just grazed his
nose, and broke to pieces against one of the trees behind him.

‘or next day, maybe,” the Footman continued in the same tone,
exactly as if nothing had happened.

‘How am I to get in?” Alice asked again in a louder tone.

‘“‘ Are you to get in at:all?” said the Footman. ‘That’s the first
question, you know.”



PIG AND PEPPER. 49

It was, no doubt ; only Alice did not like to be told so. « It’s really
dreadful,’ she muttered to herself, “ the way all the creatures argue.
It’s enough to drive one crazy!”

The Footman seemed to think this a good opportunity for repeating
his remark with variations. ‘I shall sit here,” he said, ‘‘on and off,
for days and days.”

“ But what am Z
to do?” said Alice.

“Anything you
like,” said the Foot-
man, and the began
whistling.

‘‘Oh, there’s no
use in talking to
him,” said Alice des-
perately; “he’s per-
fectly idiotic!” And
she opened the door
and went in.

It led right intoa



large kitchen, which

“pig!” SAID THE DUCHESS.

was full of smoke

from one end to the other; the Duchess was sitting ona three-legged
stool in the middle, nursing a baby; the cook was leaning over the
fire, stirring a large caldron which seemed to be full-of soup.

“There's certainly too much pepper in that soup!” Alice said to
herself, as well as she could for sneezing.

There was certainly too much of it in the air. Even the Duchess
sneezed occasionally ; and as for the baby, it was sneezing and howling
alternately without a moment’s pause. The only two creatures in the
kitchen that did not sneeze were the cook, and a large cat which was
sitting on the hearth and grinning from ear to ear.

“Please, would you tell me,” said Alice a little timidly, for she was



50 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

not quite sure whether it was good manners for her to speak first, “ why
your cat grins like that ?”

“It’s a Cheshire cat,” said the Duchess, “and that’s why. Pig!”

She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice quite
jumped ; but she saw in another moment that it was addressed to the
baby, and not to her, so she took courage, and went on again, —

‘©T didn’t know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I didn’t
know that cats could grin.”

“ They all can,” said the Duchess; “and most of ’em do.”

“TJ don’t know of any that do,” Alice said very politely, feeling quite
pleased to have got into a conversation.

“You don’t know much,” said the Duchess ; ‘and that’s a fact.”

Alice did not at all like the tone of this remark, and thought it
would be as well to introduce some other subject of conversation. While
she was trying to fix on one, the cook took the caldron of soup off the
fire, and at once set to work throwing everything within her reach at
the Duchess and the baby; the fire-irons came first; then followed a
shower of saucepans, plates, and dishes. The Duchess took no notice
of them, even when they hit her; and the baby was howling so much
already that it was quite impossible to say whether the blows hurt it or
not. .

“ Oh, please mind what you are doing!” cried Alice, jumping up and
down in an agony of terror. ‘Oh, there goes his Jreczous nose!” as
an unusually large saucepan flew close by it, and very nearly carried it off.

“Tf everybody minded their own business,” said the Duchess in a
hoarse growl, ‘the world would go round a deal faster than it does.”

“Which would zo¢t be an advantage,” said Alice, who felt very glad
to get an opportunity of showing off a little of her knowledge. “ Just
think what work it would make with the day and night! You see the
earth takes twenty-four hours to turn round on its axis” —

“Talking of axes,” said the Duchess, “ chop off her head!”

Alice glanced rather anxiously at the cook, to see if she meant to
take the hint; but the cook was busily stirring the soup, and seemed



PIG AND PEPPER. 51

not to be listening, so she went on again, ‘Twenty-four hours I
think; or is it twelve ?— [”

“Oh, don’t bother me,” said the Duchess; “I never could abide
figures.” And with that she began nursing her child again, singing
a sort of lullaby to it as she did so, and giving it a violent shake at the
end of every line : —

“Speak roughly to your little boy,
And beat him when he sneezes;
He only does it to annoy,
Because he knows it teases.”

Cuorus (in which the cook and the baby joined).— “Wow! wow! wow!”

While the Duchess sang the second verse of the song, she kept
tossing. the baby violently up and down, and the poor little thing
howled so that Alice could hardly hear the words : —
“I speak severely to my boy,
I beat him when he sneezes ;

For he can thoroughly enjoy
The pepper when he pleases!”

Cuorus. — “ Wow! wow! wow!”

“Here! you may nurse it a bit, if you like!” said the Duchess to
Alice, flinging the baby at her as she spoke. “I must go and get
ready to play croquet with the Queen;” and she hurried out of the
room. ‘The cook threw a frying-pan after her as she went, but it just
~ missed her.

Alice caught the baby with some difficulty, as it was a queer-shaped
little creature, and held out its arms and legs in all directions, “ just
like a star-fish,” thought Alice. The poor little thing was snorting like
a steam-engine when she caught it, and kept doubling itself up and
straightening itself out again, so that altogether, for the first minute or
two, it was as much as she could do to hold it.

As soon as she had made out the proper way of nursing it (which
was to twist it up into a sort of knot, and then keep tight hold of its



52 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

right ear and left foot, so as to prevent its undoing itself), she carried
it out into the open air. ‘If I don’t take this child away with me,”
thought Alice, ‘‘ they’re sure to kill it in a day or two. Wouldn't it be
murder to leave it behind?” She said the last words out loud, and
the little thing grunted in reply (it had left off sneezing by this time).
“ Don’t grunt,” said Alice ; ‘that’s not at all a proper way of express-
ing yourself.”
The baby grunted again, and Alice looked very anxiously into its
face to see what was the matter with it. There could be
ss no doubt that it had a very turn-up nose, much more
like a snout than a real nose; also its eyes were
getting extremely small for a baby. Altogether,
. Alice did not like the look of the thing
at all. ‘But perhaps it was only sob-





bing,” she thought, and looked into its
eyes again to see if there were any tears.

No, there were no tears. ‘If you’re
going to turn into a pig, my dear,” said
Alice seriously, “I'll have nothing more
to do with you. Mind now!” The poor
little thing sobbed again (or grunted, it
was impossible to say which), and they
went on for some while in silence.

THE BABY GRUNTED AGAIN.

Alice was just beginning to think to
herself, “‘ Now, what am I to do with this creature when I get it
home?” when it grunted again, so violently that she looked down
into its face in some alarm. This time there could be zo mistake about
it; it was neither more nor less than a pig, and she felt that it would
be quite absurd for her to carry it any farther.

So she set the little creature down, and felt quite relieved to see it
trot away quietly into the wood. ‘If it had grown up,” she said to
herself, “it would have been a dreadfully ugly child; but it makes
rather a handsome pig, I think.” And she began thinking over other

s



PIG AND PEPPER. 53

children she knew, who might do very well as pigs, and was just saying
to herself, “ If one only knew the right way to change them ” — when
she was a little startled by seeing the Cheshire Cat sitting on a bough
of a tree a few yards off.

The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice. It looked good-natured,
she thought ; still, it had very long claws, and a great many teeth, so
she felt it ought to be treated with respect.

‘Cheshire Puss,” she began, rather timidly, as she did not at all
know whether it would like the name; however, it only grinned a lit-
tle wider. ‘‘ Come, it’s pleased so far,” thought Alice, and she went on,
‘Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to walk from here?”

“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,”. said
the Cat. |

“JT don’t much care where” — all Alice.

es ae it doesn’t matter which way you walk,” said ne Cat.

“so long as I get somewhere,” Alice added as an explanation.

‘“Oh, you’re sure to do that,” said the Cat, “if you only walk
long enough.”

Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried another
question. ‘What sort of people live about here?”

“In ¢hat direction,” the Cat said, waving its right paw round,
“lives a Hatter; and in ¢hat direction,’ waving the other paw,
“lives a March Hare. Visit either you like; they're both mad.”

“But I don’t want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked.

“Oh, you can’t help that,” said the Cat; “we're all mad here.
I’m mad. You're mad.”

“How do you know I’m mad?” said Alice.

“You must be,” said the Cat, “or you wouldn’t have come here.”

Alice didn’t think that proved it at all; however, she went on;
‘and how do you know that you’re mad?”

“To begin with,” said the Cat, ‘‘a dog’s not mad. You grant -
that?”

‘‘T suppose so,” said Alice.



54 ALICE’S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

“Well, then,” the Cat went on, “you see, a dog growls when it’s
angry, and wags its tail when it’s pleased. Now / growl when I’m
pleased, and wag my tail when I’m angry. Therefore I’m mad.”

“7 call it purr-
ing, not growling,”
said Alice.

“Call it what you
like,” said the Cat.
“Do you play cro-
quet with the Queen
to-day ?”

“JT should like
it very much,” said
Alice, ‘‘ but I haven't
been invited yet.”

“ You'll see me there,” said the Cat, and




vanished.
Alice was not much surprised at this, she

was getting so well used to queer things hap-
pening. While she was still looking at the
place where it had been, it suddenly appeared
again.

« By-the-by, what became of the baby?”
said the Cat, “I’d nearly forgotten to ask.”

“Tt turned into a pig,” Alice answered very
quietly, just as if the Cat had come back in a
natural way.

“T thought it would,” said the Cat, and van-

THE CAT GRINNED,

ished again.

Alice waited a little, half expecting to see it again, but it did not
appear; and after a minute or two she walked on in the direction in
which the March Hare was said to live. ‘I’ve seen Hatters before,”
she said to herself; “the March Hare will be much the most inte-



PIG AND PEPPER. 55

resting, and perhaps as this is May it won’t be raving mad —at least,
not so mad as it was in'March.” As she said this, she looked up, and
there was the Cat again, sitting on a branch of a tree.

“Did you say pig, or fig ?”’ said the Cat.

“T said pig,” replied Alice; ‘‘and I wish you wouldn’t keep ap-
pearing and vanishing so suddenly ; you make one quite giddy.”

“« All right,” said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite slowly,
beginning with the
end of the tail, and
ending with the grin,
which remained some
time after the rest of
it had gone.

“Well, I’ve often
seen acat without a
grin,” thought Alice;
‘but a grin without
acat! It’s the most
curious thing I ever



- “yOU’LL SEE ME THERE,” SAID THE CAT.

(322

saw in all my life

She had not gone much farther before she came in sight of the |
house of the March Hare. She thought it must be the right house,
because the chimneys were shaped like ears, and the roof was thatched
with fur. It was so large a house that she did not like to go nearer
till she had nibbled some more of the left-hand bit of mushroom, and
raised herself to about two feet high; even then she walked up to-
ward it rather timidly, saying to herself, “Suppose it should be raving
mad after all; I almost wish I’d gone to see the Hatter instead.”







56 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

CHAPTER VII.
A MAD TEA—PARTY.

THERE was a table set out under a tree in front of the house, and
the March Hare and the Hatter were having tea at it. A dormouse
was sitting between
them, fast asleep,
and the other two
were using it as a
cushion, resting
their elbows on it,
and talking over its
head. ‘Very un-
comfortable for the



Dormouse,” thought

vit | att iy é :

A j (Yiyy y lig 4 Yl: s
E VW il ayy YY Alice ; ‘only as it’s
asleep, I suppose it
doesn’t mind.”

“YOUR HAIR WANTS CUTTING,” SAID THE HATTER. The table was a

large one, but the three were all crowded together at one corner of
it: “No room! No room!” they cried out when they saw Alice ©
-coming. ‘“ There's plenty of room,” said Alice indignantly, and she
sat down in a large armchair at one end of the table.

“Have some wine,” the March Hare said in an encouraging tone.

Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it but
tea. ‘I don’t see any wine,” she remarked.

“There isn’t any,” said the March Hare.

“Then it wasn’t very civil of you to offer it,” said Alice angrily.



A MAD TEA—PARTY. 57

“Tt wasn’t very civil of you to sit down without being invited,”
said the March Hare.

“T didn’t know it was your table,” said Alice; “it’s laid for a
great many more than three.”

‘Your hair wants cutting,” said the Hatter. He had been looking
at Alice for some time with great curiosity, and this was his first speech.

‘You should learn not to make personal remarks,” Alice said with
some severity ; ‘it’s very rude.” r

The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this; but all he
sazd was, ‘“‘ Why is a raven like a writing-desk ?”

“Come, we shall have some fun now!” thought Alice. “I’m glad
they've begun asking riddles. I believe I can guess that,” she added
aloud.

“Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to
it?” said the March Hare.

SSAC EV ESO. said Alice.

- “Then you should say what you mean,” the March Hare went on.

“I do,” Alice hastily replied; “at least—at least I mean what
I say—that’s the same thing, you know.”

“Not the same thing a bit!” said the Hatter. “Why, you might
just as well say that ‘I see what I eat’ is the same thing as ‘I eat
what I see
© Vou might just as well say,” added the March Hare, “that ‘I
like what I get’ is the same thing as ‘I get what I like!’”

“You might just as well say,” added the Dormouse, who seemed
to be talking in his sleep, “that ‘I breathe when I sleep’ is the same

ane.

ieee

thing as ‘I sleep when I breathe

“Tt zs the same thing with you,” said the Hatter; and here the
conversation dropped, and the party sat silent for a minute, while Alice
thought over all she could remember about ravens and writing-desks.
which wasn’t much.

The Hatter was the first to break the silence.

‘What day of the month is it?” he said, turning to Alice. He



58 ALICE’S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

had taken his watch out of his pocket, and was looking at it uneasily,
shaking it every now and then, and holding it to his ear.

Alice considered a little, and said, ‘‘ the fourth.”

“Two days wrong!” sighed the Hatter. ‘I told you butter would
not suit the works!” he added, looking angrily at the March Hare.

“Tt was the dest butter,” the March Hare meekly replied.

‘“Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well,” the Hatter
grumbled; “you shouldn’t have put it in with the bread-knife.”

The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily ; then he
dipped it into his cup of tea, and looked at it again; but he could think
of nothing better to say than his first remark, ‘ It was the des¢ butter,
you know.”

Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity.
“What a funny watch!” she remarked. “It tells the day of the
month, and doesn’t tell what o'clock it is!”

“Why should it?” muttered the Hatter.

“ Does your watch tell you what year it is ?”

‘Of course not,” Alice replied very readily ; ‘ but that’s because it
stays the same year for such a long time together.”

‘Which is just the case with me,” said the Hatter.

Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter’s remark seemed to her
to have no sort of meaning in it, and yet it was certainly English. “I
don’t quite understand you,” she said, as politely as she could.

“The Dormouse is asleep again,” said the Hatter, and he poured a
little hot tea onto its nose.

The Dormouse shook his head impatiently, and said, without open-
ing his eyes, “ Of course ; just what I was going to remark myself.”

“Have you guessed the riddle yet?” the Hatter said, turning to
Alice again.

‘No; I give it up,” Alice replied. ‘‘ What’s the answer?”

‘‘T haven’t the slightest idea,” said the Hatter. .

“ Nor I,” said the March Hare.

Alice sighed wearily. “I think you might do something better



A MAD TEA—PARTY. 59

?

with the time,” she said, “than wasting it in asking riddles that have

no answers.”

“Tf you knew Time as well as I do,” said the Hatter, “you wouldn't
talk about wasting z¢. It’s h7m.”

“T don’t know what you mean,” said Alice.

“Of course you don’t!” the Hatter said, tossing his head contempt-
uously. ‘I dare say you never even spoke to Time!”

“Perhaps not,” Alice cautiously replied; ‘but 1 know I have to
beat time when I learn music.”

«Ah, that accounts for it,’ said the Hatter. ‘He won’t stand
beating. Now, if you only kept on good terms with him, he’d do
almost anything you liked with the clock. For instance, suppose it
were nine o’clock in the morning, just time to begin lessons ; you'd
‘only have to whisper a hint to Time, and round goes the clock in a
twinkling! Half-past one, time for dinner!”

Gat only wish it was,” the March Hare said to itself in a whisper.)

“That would be grand, certainly,” said Alice thoughtfully; ‘but
then —I shouldn’t be hungry for it, you know.”

“Not at first, perhaps,” said the Hatter ;
“but you could keep it to half-past one as
long as you liked.”

“Ts that the way you manage?” Alice
asked.

The Hatter shook his head mournfully.
“Not I,” he replied. ‘We quarrelled last
March —just before fe went mad, you
know” (pointing with his teaspoon at the



March Hare) — ‘‘ it was at the great con-
cert given by the Queen of Hearts, and I

i : HE HATTER SINGS.
had to sing : — THE

“¢Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!
How I wonder what you're at!’

You know the song, perhaps ?”



60 ALICE’S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

“I’ve heard something like it,” said Alice.
“Tt goes on, you know,” the Hatter continued, “in this way : —

““Up above the world you fly,
Like a tea-tray in the sky.
Twinkle, twinkle” —

Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began singing in its sleep,
“ Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle” —and went on so long that they
had to pinch it to make it stop. ae:

‘Well, ?'d hardly finished the first verse,” said the Hatter, “when
the Queen bawled out ‘ He’s murdering the time! Off with his head!’”

‘““How dreadfully savage!” exclaimed Alice.

“And ever since that,” the Hatter went on in a mournful tone,
‘“‘he won't do a thing I ask! It’s always six o'clock now.”

A bright idea came into Alice’s head. ‘Is that the reason so many
tea-things are put out here?” she asked.

“Yes, that’s it,” said the Hatter with a sigh; “ it’s always tea-time,
and we’ve no time to wash the things between whiles.”

“Then you keep moving round, I suppose?” said Alice.

“Exactly so,” said the Hatter; “as the things get used up.”

‘But when you come to the beginning again?” Alice ventured to ask.

‘‘ Suppose we change the subject,” the March Hare interrupted, yawn-
ing. “I’m getting tired of this. I vote the young lady tells us a story.”

“Tm afraid I don’t know one,” said Alice, rather alarmed at the

proposal.

“Then the Dormouse shall!” they both cried. ‘Wake up, Dor-
mouse!” And they pinched it on both sides at once. :

The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes. ‘I wasn’t asleep,” he said in

a hoarse, feeble voice; ‘‘] heard every word you fellows were saying.”
‘Tell us a story!” said the March Hare.
‘Yes, please do!” pleaded Alice.

“And be quick about it,” added the Hatter, ‘or you'll be asleep
again before it’s done.”



A MAD TEA—PARTY. 61

Once upon a time there were three little sisters,” the Dormouse
began in a great hurry, “and their names were Elsie, Lacie, and
Tillie; and they lived at the bottom of a well” —

“What did they live on?” said Alice, who always took a great
interest in questions of eating and drinking.

“They lived on treacle,” said the Dormouse, after thinking a min-
ute or two.

“They couldn’t have done that, you know,” Alice gently remarked;
“they'd have been ill.”

“So they were,” said the Dormouse; “ very ill.”

Alice tried a little to fancy to herself what such an extraordinary
way of living would be like, but it puzzled her too much; so she went
on, “ But why did they live at the bottom of a well?”

“Take some more tea,” the March Hare said to Alice very
earnestly.

“T’ve had nothing yet,” Alice replied in an offended tone “so I
can’t take more.”

“You mean, you can’t take /ess,” said the Hatter ; “it’s very easy to
take more than nothing.”

“Nobody asked your opinion,” said Alice.

““Who’s making personal remarks now?” the Hatter asked trium-
phantly. j

Alice did not quite know what to say to this; so she helped herself
to some tea and bread-and-butter, and then turned to the Dormouse,
and repeated her question. ‘‘ Why did they live at the bottom of a well?”

The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it, and
then said, “It was a treacle-well.”

‘““There’s no such thing!” Alice was beginning very angrily; but
the Hatter and the March Hare went, “Sh! sh!” and the Dormouse
sulkily remarked, “If you can’t be civil, you’d better finish the story
for yourself.”

‘No, please go on!” Alice said very humbly ; “I won’t interrupt
you again. I dare say there may be oxe.”



62 ALICE’S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

“One, indeed!” said the Dormouse indignantly. However, he
consented to go on. ‘And so these three sisters — they were learn-
ing to draw, you know” — .

“What did they draw?” said Alice, quite forgetting her promise.

“Treacle,” said the Dormouse, without considering at all this time.

‘I want a clean cup,” interrupted the Hatter; ‘let’s all move one
place on.”

He moved on as he spoke, and the Dormouse followed him; the
March Hare moved into the Dormouse’s place, and Alice rather un-
willingly took the place of the March Hare. The Hatter was the only
one who got any advantage from the change; and Alice was a good
deal worse off than before, as the March Hare had just upset the milk-
jug into his plate.

Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began
very cautiously, “ But I don’t understand. Where did they draw the
treacle from?”

‘You can draw water out of a water-well,” said the Hatter; “so I
think you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well — eh, stupid ?”

“But they were zz the well,” Alice said to the Dormouse, not
choosing to notice this last remark.

‘‘ Of course they were,” said the Dormouse — “ well in.”

This answer so confused poor Alice that she let the Dormouse go
on for some time without interrupting it.

‘They were learning to draw,” the Dormouse went on, yawning
and rubbing its eyes, for it was getting very sleepy; “and they drew
all manner of things — everything that begins with an M” —

‘Why with an M ?” said Alice.

‘“Why not?” said the March Hare.

Alice was silent.

The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time, and was going off
into a doze; but on being pinched by the Hatter, it woke up again with
a little shriek, and went on, ‘ That begins with an M, such as mouse-
traps and the moon and memory and muchness, — you know you say



A MAD TEA-PARTY. 63

things are ‘much of a muchness,’ — did you ever see such a thing asa
drawing of a muchness ?”

‘Really, now you ask me,” said Alice very much confused, ‘‘I don’t
think”

“Then you shouldn’t talk,” said the Hatter.

This piece of rudeness was more than Alice could bear; she got up
in great disgust, and walked off. The Dormouse fell asleep instantly ;
and neither of the others took
the least notice of her going,
though she looked back once
or twice, half hoping that they
would call after her; the last
time she saw them, they were
trying to put the Dormouse
into the teapot.

“ At any rate, Pl never go
there again!” said Alice as she
picked her way through the
wood.

“It’s the stupidest tea-party
I was ever at in all my life!”

Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had a door
leading right into it. ‘That's very curious!” she thought. “ But every-
thing’s curious to-day. I think I may as well go in at once.” And



INTO THE TEA-POT.

in she went.

Once more she found herself in a long hall, and close to the little
glass table. ‘‘ Now, I'll manage better this time,” she said to herself,
and began by taking the little golden key, and unlocking the door that
led into the garden. Then she set to work nibbling at the mushroom
(she had kept a piece of it in her pocket) till she was about a foot
high ; then she walked down the little passage ; hen — she found herself
at last in a beautiful garden, among the bright flower-beds and the cool
fountains.



64 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

CHAPTER VIII.
THE QUEEN’S Groowe eS.

A LARGE rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden ; the roses
growing on it were white, but there were three gardeners at it, busily
painting them red. Alice thought this a
very curious thing, and she went nearer
to watch them ; and just as she came
up to them she heard one of them say,
“ Look out now, Five! Don’t go splash-
ing paint over me like that! ”

“TI couldn’t help it,” said Five ina
sulky tone; ‘“ Seven jogged my elbow.”

On which Seven looked up and said,
“That’s right, Five! Always lay the
biame on others!”

“ Youd better not talk! said Five.
“I heard the Queen say only yesterday
you deserved to be beheaded.”

Vy7e “What for?” said the one who had
THE QUEEN’S GARDENERS.



FZ (LS T-

spoken first.

“That’s none of your business, Two!” said Seven.

“Yes, it zs his business!” said Five, “and I'll tell him; it was for
bringing the cook tulip-roots instead of onions.”

~ Seven flung down the brush, and had just begun, “ Well, of all the

unjust things” — when his eye chanced to fall upon Alice, as she stood
watching them, and he checked himself suddenly ; the others looked
round also, and all of them bowed low.







THE QUEEN’S CROQUET—GROUND. 65

“Would you tell me, please,” said Alice a little timidly, “why you
are painting those roses?” |

Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two. Two began, in
a low voice, ‘“‘ Why, the fact is, you see, miss, this here ought to have
been a ved rose-tree, and we put a white one in by mistake, and if the
Queen was to find it out, we should all have our heads cut off, you
know. So you see, miss, we’re doing our best, afore she comes, to” —
At this moment Five, who had been anxiously looking across the gar-
den, called out, ‘‘ The Queen! The Queen!” and the three gardeners
instantly threw themselves flat upon their faces. There was a sound
of many footsteps, and Alice looked round, eager to see the Queen.

First came ten soldiers carrying clubs; these were all shaped like
the three gardeners, oblong and flat, with their hands and feet at the
corners; next, the ten courtiers ; these were ornamentéd all over with
diamonds, and walked two and two, as the soldiers did. After these
came the royal children; there were ten of them, and the little dears
came jumping merrily along hand in hand, in couples; they were all
ornamented with hearts. Next came the guests, mostly Kings and
Queens, and among them Alice recognized the White Rabbit ; it was
talking in a hurried, nervous manner, smiling at everything that was
said, and went by without noticing her. Then followed the Knave of
Hearts, carrying the King’s crown on a crimson velvet cushion; and
last of all this grand procession came THE KING AND QUEEN
OF HEARTS.

Alice was rather doubtful whether she ought not to lie down on her
face, like the three gardeners, but she could not remember ever having
heard of such a rule at processions ; “and besides, what would be the
use of a procession,” she thought, “if people had all to lie down on
their faces, so that they couldn’t see it?” So she stood where she was
and waited.

When the procession came opposite to Alice, they all stopped and
looked at her, and the Queen said severely, “Who is this?” She
said it to the Knave of Hearts, who only bowed and smiled in reply.



66 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

‘‘Tdiot,” said the Queen, tossing her head impatiently; and turn-
ing to Alice, she went on, ‘‘ What’s your name, child ?”

“My name is Alice, so please your majesty,” said Alice very po-

litely ; but she added to herself, “‘ Why, they're only a pack of cards,
after all. I needn’t be afraid of them.’

‘‘And who are ¢hese ?” said the Queen, pointing to the three gar-
deners who were lying round the rose-tree ; for you see, as they were
lying on their faces, and the pattern on their backs was the same as the
rest of the pack, she could not tell whether they were gardeners, or
soldiers, or courtiers, or three of her own children.

“ How should 7 nO: >” said Alice, surprised at her own courage.
“It’s no business of wzzne.’

The Queen turned crimson with fury, and after glaring at‘her for a
moment like a wild beast, began screaming, ‘‘ Off with her head! Off” —

“ Nonsense!” said Alice very loudly and decidedly, and the Queen
was silent. |

The King laid his hand upon her arm, and timidly said, “ Consider,
my dear, she is only a child!”

The Queen turned angrily away from him; and said to the Knave,
“Turn them over!”

The Knave did so, very carefully, with one foot.

“Get up!” said the Queen in a shrill, loud voice; and the three
gardeners instantly jumped up, and began bowing to the King, the
Queen, the royal children, and everybody else.

“ Leave off that!” screamed the Queen. ‘“ You make me giddy.”
And then, turning to the rose-tree, she went on, ‘What have you been
doing here?”

“May it please your majesty,” said Two, in a very humble tone,
_ going down on one knee as he spoke, “ we were trying ” —

‘““Z see!” said the Queen, who had meanwhile been examining
the roses. “Off with their heads!” and the procession moved on,
three of the soldiers remaining behind to execute the unfortunate
gardeners, who ran to Alice for protection.



THE QUEEN’S CROQUET--GROUND. 67

“You sha’n’t be beheaded!” said-Alice, and she put them -nto a
large flower-pot that stood near. The three soldiers wandered about
for a minute or two, looking for them, and then quietly marched off
after the others.

‘‘ Are their heads off?” shouted the Queen.

“Their heads are gone, if it please your majesty!” the soldiers
shouted in reply.

“ That’s right!” shouted the Queen. “Can you play croquet ?”

The soldiers were silent, and looked at Alice, as the question was
evidently meant for her.

“Yes!” shouted Alice.

‘“Come on, then!” roared the Queen; and Alice joined the pro-
cession, wondering very much what would happen next.

‘“Tt’s a very fine day!” said a timid voice at her side. She was
walking by the White Rabbit, who was peeping anxiously into her face.

“Very,” said Alice ; ‘‘ where’s the Duchess?”

“Hush! Hush!” said the Rabbit in a low, hurried tone. He
looked anxiously over his shoulder as he spoke, and then raised him-
self up on tiptoe, put his mouth close to her ear, and whispered,
‘““She’s under sentence of execution.”

“What for?” said Alice.

** Did you say, ‘What a pity!’ ” the Rabbit asked.

‘No, I didn’t,” said Alice ; “1 don’t think it’s at alla pity. I said,
“What for?” ”

‘She boxed the Queen’s ears” — the Rabbit began. Alice gave
a little scream of laughter. ‘“ Oh, hush!” the Rabbit whispered in a
frightened tone. ‘The Queen will hear you! You see she came
rather late, and the Queen said” —

‘‘Get to your places!” shouted the Queen in a voice of thunder;
and people began running about in all directions, tumbling up against
each other ; however, they got settled down in a minute or two, and
the game began. pe

Alice thought she had never seen such a curious croquet-ground in



68 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

her life ; it was all ridges and furrows; the croquet-balls were live hedge
hogs, and the mallets live flamingoes, and the soldiers had to double
themselves up, and stand on their hands and feet, to make the arches.
The chief diffi-
culty Alice found at
first was in mana-
ging her flamingo.
She succeeded -in
getting its body
tucked away, com-
fortably enough, un-
der her arm, with its
legs hanging down;
but generally, just
as she had got its
iy neck nicely straight-
ES ened out, and was
going to give the
hedgehog a blow
with its head, it
would twist itself
round, and look up
into her face, with



SKE 2 Le La = | such a puzzled ex-
pression that she
could not help burst-
ing out laughing; and when she had got its head down, and was
going to begin again, it was very provoking to find that the hedgehog
had unrolled itself, and was in the act of crawling away. Besides all
this, there was generally a ridge or a furrow in the way wherever she
wanted to send the hedgehog to; and as the doubled-up soldiers were
always getting up and walking off to other parts of the ground, Alice
soon came to the conclusion that it was a very difficult game indeed.

“OFF WITH HER HEAD!” SCREAMED THE QUEEN.



THE QUEEN’S CROQUET—GROUND. 69

The players all played at once without waiting for turns, quarrelling
all the while, and fighting for the hedgehogs ; and in a very short time
the Queen was in a furious passion, and went stamping about, and
shouting, ‘“ Off with his head!” or, “ Off with her head!” about once
in a minute.

Alice began to feel very uneasy. To be sure, she had not as yet
had any dispute with thé Queen, but she knew that it might happen
any minute; ‘and then,” thought she, “what would become of me?
They're dreadfully fond of beheading people here; the great wonder
is that there’s any one left alive!”

She was looking about for some way of escape, and wondering
whether she could get away without being seen, when she noticed a
curious appearance in the air. It puzzled her very much at first; but
after watching it a minute or two she made it out to be a grin, and she
said to herself, “It’s the Cheshire Cat; now I shall have somebody to
tall aatone

“How are you getting on?” said the Cat, as soon as there was
mouth enough for it to speak with.

Alice waited till the eyes appeared, and then nodded. “It’s no
use speaking to it,” she thought, “till its ears have come, or at least
one of them.” In another minute the whole head appeared; and then
Alice put down her flamingo, and began an account of the game, feeling
very glad she had some one to listen to her. The Cat seemed to think
that there was enough of it now in sight, and no more of it appeared.

“T don’t think they play at all fairly,” Alice began, in rather a com-
plaining tone; ‘and they all quarrel so dreadfully one can’t hear one’s
self speak—and they don’t seem to have any rules in particular; at
_ least, if there are, nobody attends to them —and you've no idea how
confusing it is all the things being alive; for instance, there’s the arch
I’ve got to go through next walking about at the other end of the
ground; and I should have croqueted the Queen’s hedgehog just now,
only it ran away when it saw mine coming!”

‘‘ How do you like the Queen ?” said the Cat in a low voice.



ee See





7O ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

“Not at all,” said Alice; “she’s so extremely” — Just then she
noticed that the Queen was close behind her, listening; so she went
on, ‘likely to win, that it’s hardly worth while finishing the game.”

The Queen smiled and passed on.

“Who are you talking to?” said the King, coming up to Alice,
and looking at, the Cat’s head with great
curiosity.

“It’s a friend of mine—a Cheshire
Cat,” said Alice; ‘allow me to introduce:
ity

‘“T don’t like the look of it at all,” said
the King; “it may kiss my hand if it
likes.”

“Td rather not,” the Cat remarked.

‘Don’t be impertinent,” said the King;
‘and don’t look at me like that!” He
got behind Alice as he spoke.

“A cat may look at a king,” said



Alice. “I’ve read that in some book,

THE MALLETS WERE LIVE FLAMINGOES.

but I don’t remember where.”

“Well, it must be removed,” said the King very decidedly ; and he
called to the Queen, who was passing at the moment, ‘My dear! I
wish you would have this Cat removed!”

. The Queen had only one way of settling all difficulties, great
or small. “Off with his head!” she said, without even looking
round, 5

“Tl fetch the executioner myself,” said the King eagerly, and he
hurried off.

Alice’ thought she might as well go back and see how the game
was going on, as she heard the Queen’s voice in the distance, scream-
ing with passion. She had already heard her sentence three of the
players to be executed for having missed their turns; and she did not
like the look of things at all, as the game was in such confusion that



THE QUEEN’S CROQUET—GROUND. wt

she never knew whether it was her turn or not. So she went off in
search of her hedgehog.

The hedgehog was engaged ina fight with another hedgehog, which
seemed to Alice an excellent opportunity for croqueting one of them
with the other; the only difficulty was that her flamingo was gone
across to the other side of the garden, where Alice could see it trying
in a helpless sort of way to fly up into a tree..

By the time she had caught the flamingo and brought it back, the
fight was over, and both the hedgehogs were out of sight; ‘but it
doesn’t matter much,” thought Alice, “as all the arches are gone from
this side of the ground.”
So she tucked it away under

her arm, that it might not.
escape again, and went back
to have a little more conver-
sation with her friend.

When she got back to
the Cheshire Cat, she was
surprised to find quite a





large crowd collected round
it; there was a dispute go-
ing on between the execu-
tioner, the King, and the
Queen, who were all talk-
ing at once, while all the
rest were quite silent, and



looked very uncomfortable. -
The moment Alice ap-



peared she was appealed to
by all three to settle the
question; and they repeated their arguments to her, though, as they
all spoke at once, she found it very hard to make out exactly what

“THEY WERE ALL TALKING AT ONCE.”

they said.









72 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

The executioner’s argument was, that you couldn’t cut off a head
unless there was a body to cut it off from; that he had never had to do
such a thing before, and he wasn’t going to begin at 47s time of life.

he King’s argument was, that anything'that had a head could
be beheaded, and that you weren’t to talk nonsense.

The Queen’s argument was, that if something wasn’t done about
it in less than no time, she’d have everybody executed, all round.
(It was this last remark that had made the whole party look.so grave
and anxious.)

Alice could think of nothing else to say but “It belongs to the
Duchess; you'd better ask er about it.”

‘“‘She’s in prison,” the Queen said to the executioner; ‘“ fetch her
here.” And the executioner went off like an arrow.

The Cat’s head began fading away the moment he was. gone, and
by the time he had come back with the Duchess it had entirely dis-
appeared; so the King and the executioner ran wildly up and down
looking for it, while the rest of the party went back to the game.



THE MOCK TURTLE’S STORY. 73

CHAPTER IX.

THE MOCK TURTLE’S STORY.

“You can’t think how glad I am to see you again, you dear old
thing,” said the Duchess, as she tucked her arm affectionately into

Alice’s, and they walked off together.

Alice was very glad to find her in
such a pleasant temper, and thought
to herself that perhaps it was only the
pepper that had made her so savage
when they met in the kitchen. “When
I’m a Duchess,” she said to herself
(not in a very hopeful tone though),
“JT won’t have any pepper in my kitchen
at all. Soup does very well without.
Maybe it’s always pepper that makes
people hot-tempered,” she went on,
very much pleased at having found out
a new kind of rule, ‘and vinegar that
makes them sour—and camomile that
makes them bitter — and—and barley-
sugar and such things that make chil-



—< & -
SSS = &





———

“you’RE THINKING ABOUT SOMETHING.”

dren sweet-tempered. I only wish people knew ¢hat,; then they »
wouldn’t be so stingy about it, you know” —

She had quite forgotten the Duchess by this time, and was a little
startled when she heard her voice close to her ear. ‘You're think-
ing about something, my dear, and that makes you forget to talk. I
can’t tell you just now what the moral of that is, but I shall remem-

ber it in a bit.”



74 ALICE’S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

‘“Perhaps it hasn’t one,” Alice ventured to remark.

“Tut, tut, child!” said the Duchess. ‘Everything’s got a moral,
if only you can find it.” And she squeezed herself up closer to Alice’s
side as she spoke.

Alice did not much like her keeping so close to her; first, be-
cause the Duchess was very ugly, and secondly, because she was
exactly the right height to rest her chin on Alice’s shoulder, and it was
an uncomfortably sharp chin. However, she did not like to be rude,
so she bore it as well as she could.

“The game’s going on rather better now,” she said by way of
keeping up the conversation a little.

“Tis so,” said the Duchess; “and the moral of that is, ‘Oh, ’tis
love, ’tis love, that makes the world go round!’”

‘Somebody said,” Alice whispered, “that it's done by everybody
minding their own business!”

“Ah, well! It means much the same thing,” said the Duchess,
digging her sharp little chin into Alice’s shoulder, as she added; “and
the moral of ¢hat is, ‘Take care of the sense, and the sounds will
take care of themselves.’”

“ How fond she is of finding morals in things!” Alice thought to
herself. E

“I daresay you’re wondering why I don’t put my arm round your
waist,” said the Duchess aftera pause. ‘‘ The reasons, that I’m doubt-
ful about the temper of your flamingo.. Shall I try the experiment ?”

‘He might bite,” Alice cautiously replied, not feeling at all anxious
to have the experiment tried. :

“Very true,” said the Duchess ; “ flamingoes and mustard both bite.
And the moral of that is, ‘ Birds of a feather flock together.’ ”

‘Only mustard isn’t a bird,” Alice remarked.

“ Right, as usual,” said the Duchess. ‘“‘ What a clear way ycu have
of putting things!”

“It’s a mineral, I ¢hzzk,” said Alice. .

‘Of course it is,” said the Duchess, who seemed ready to agree to



THE MOCK TURTLE’S STORY. 75

everything that Alice said. ‘ There’s a large mustard-mine near here.
And the moral of that is, ‘The more there is of mine, the less there is
of yours.’”

“Oh, I know!” exclaimed Alice, who had not attended to this last
remark ; ‘it’s a vegetable. It doesn’t look like one, but it is.”

9?

“T quite agree with you, said the Duchess. ‘And the moral of
that is, ‘Be what you would seem to be, or, if you'd like it put more
simply, ‘Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it
might appear, to others that what you were or might have been was
not otherwise eo what you had been would have appeared to them
to be otherwise.’

‘““T think I should understand that better,” Alice sajd very politely,
“if Thad it written down; but I can’t quite follow it as you say it.” ,

“That’s nothing to what I could say if I chose,” the Duchess
replied in a pleased tone.

“Pray don’t trouble yourself to say it any longer than that,” said Alice.

“Oh, don’t talk about trouble!” said the Duchess. ‘I make you
a present of everything I’ve said as yet.”

“A cheap sort of present!” thought Alice. “I’m glad they don’t
give birthday presents like that!” But she did not venture to say it
out loud.

“Thinking Peain?” the Duchess asked, with another ‘dig of her
sharp little chin.

“T’ve a right to think,” said Alice sharply, for she was beginning to
feel a little worried. “ Just about as much right,” said the Duchess,
“as pigs have to fly. And the m” —

But here, to Alice’s great surprise, the Duchess’ voice died away,
even in the middle of her favorite word “ moral,” and the arm that was
linked into hers began to tremble. Alice looked up, and there stood
the Queen in front of them, with her arms folded, frowning like a
thunderstorm.

“A fine day, your majesty,” the Duchess began in a low, weak voice.

“Now, I give you fair warning,” shouted the Queen, stamping on







76 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

the ground as she spoke; “either you or your head must be off, and
that in about half no time! Take your choice!”

The Duchess took her choice, and was gone in a moment.

“Let's go on with the game,” the Queen said to Alice; and Alice
was too much frightened to say a word, but slowly followed her back to
the croquet-ground.

The other guests had taken advantage of the Queen’s absence, and
were resting in the shade. However, the moment they saw her they
hurried back to the game, the Queen merely remarking that a moment’s
delay would cost them their lives.

All the time they were playing, the Queen never left off quarrelling
with the other players, and shouting “ Off with his head!” or, “ Off
with her head!”

Those whom she sentenced were taken into custody by the soldiers,

who of course had to leave off being arches to do this, so that by the
end of half an hour

or so there were no
arches left, and all the
players, except the
King, the Queen, and
Alice, were in custody,
and under sentence of
execution.

Then the Queen left
off, quite out of breath,
and she said to Alice,
““ Have you seen the

THEY rane UPON A GRYPHON. Mock Turtle yet ? ”
“No,” said Alice ; ‘I don’t even know what a Mock Turtle is.”
‘It’s the thing Mock Turtle soup is made from,” said the Queen.
“T never saw one, or heard of one,” said Alice.
‘Come on, then,” said the Queen, ‘and he shall tell you his history.”
As they walked off together, Alice heard the King say in a low





THE MOCK TURTLE’S STORY. 77

voice to the company generally, ‘“ You are all pardoned.” —“ Come,
that’s a good thing!” she said to herself, for she had felt quite unhappy
at the number of executions the Queen had ordered.

They very soon came upon a Gryphon, lying fast asleep in the sun.
(If you don’t know what a Gryphon is, look at the picture.) “ Up,
lazy thing!” said the Queen, “and take this young lady to see the
Mock Turtle, and to hear his history. I must go back and see after
some executions I have ordered;” and she walked off, leaving Alice
alone with the Gryphon. Alice did not quite like the look of the crea-
ture, but. on the whole she thought it would be quite as safe to stay
with it as to go after that savage Queen; so she waited.

The Gryphon sat up and rubbed his eyes; then it watched the
Queen till she was out of sight; then it chuckled. ‘ What fun!”
said the Gryphon, half to itself, half to Alice.

“What zs the fun?” said Alice.

“Why, she,” said the Gryphon. ‘It’s all her fancy, that; they
never executes nobody, you know. Come on!”

« Everybody says ‘come on!’ here,” thought Alice, as she went
slowly after it. ‘I never was so ordered about before in all my life ;
never !”’

They had not yone far before they saw the Mock Turtle in the dis-
tance, sitting sad and lonely on a little ledge of rock ; and as they came
nearer, Alice could hear him sighing as if his heart would break. She
pitied him deeply. ‘What is his sorrow?” she asked the Gryphon ;
and the Gryphon answered, very nearly in the same words as before,
“Tt’s all his fancy, that ; he hasn’t got no sorrow, you know. Come on!”

So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who eee at them with ergs
eyes full of tears, but said nothing.

eoiinisenere youne, lady,” said the Cen: ‘“she wants for to know
your history, she do.”

“T’ll tell it her,” said the Mock Turtle in a deep, hollow tone. “ Sit
down both of you, and don’t speak a word till I've finished.”

So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some minutes, Alice



78 ALICE’S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

thought to herself, ‘I don’t see how he can ever finish, if he doesn’t

begin.” But she waited patiently.

“Once,” said the Mock Turtle at last, with a deep sigh, “I was a

real Turtle.”

These words were followed by a very long silence, broken only by
an occasional exclamation of “ Hjckrrh!” from the Gryphon, and the
constant heavy sighing of the Mock Turtle. Alice was very nearly
getting up and saying, “ Thank you, sir, for your interesting story ; ” but
she could not help thinking there mas¢ be more to come, so she sat still



THE MOCK TURTLE TELLS HIS STORY.

~and said nothing.

‘When we were
little,” the Mock Tur-
tle went on at last
more calmly, though
still sobbing a little
now and then, ‘“ we
went to school in the
sea. The master was
an old Turtle — we
used to call him Tor-
toise ” —

‘Why did you call

“him Tortoise, if he

wasn’t one?” Alice
asked.

“We called him
Tortoise because he’
taught us,” said the
Mock Turtle angrily ;
‘really, you are very’

dull!”

“You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking such a simple
question,” added the Gryphon; and then they both sat silent and



THE MOCK TURTLE’S STORY. 79

looked at poor Alice, who felt ready to sink into the earth. At last the
Gryphon said to the Mock Turtle, “ Drive on, old fellow! Don’t be
all day about it!” and he went on in these words : —

‘Yes, we went to school in the sea, though you mayn’t believe it” —

“T never said I didn’t!” interrupted Alice.

“Vou did,” said the Mock Turtle.

‘Hold your tongue!” added the Gryphon, before Alice could speak
again. The Mock Turtle went on.

“We had the best of educations — in fact, we went to school every
day” —

“I’ve been to a day-school too,” said Alice; “you needn’t be so
proud as ail that.”

“ With extras?” asked the Mock Turtle a little anxiously.

“Yes,” said Alice; ‘‘ we learned French and music.”

“And washing?” said the Mock Turtle.

“Certainly not!” said Alice indignantly.

“Ah! then yours wasn’t a really good school,” said the Mock Tur-
tle in a tone of great relief.’ ‘‘ Now at ours they had at the end of the
bill, ‘French, music, axd washing — extra.’”

“You couldn’t have wanted it much,” said Alice; “living at the
bottom of the sea.” ;

“T couldn’t afford to learn it,’ said the Mock Turtle with a sigh.
‘“T only took the regular course.”

“ What was that?” inquired Alice.

‘Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with,” the Mock Turtle
replied; ‘‘and then the different branches of Arithmetic, — Ambition,
Distraction, Uglification, and Derision.” -

“T never heard of ‘ Uglification,’” Alice ventured to say. ‘ What
is it?” |

The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise. ‘‘ Never heard
of uglifying !” itexclaimed. ‘ You know what to beautify is, I suppose?”

“Yes,” said Alice doubtfully ; “it means —to— make — anything
— prettier.”



80 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

‘“Well, then,” the Gryphon went on, “if you don’t know what to
_uglify is, you ave a simpleton.”

Alice did not feel encouraged to ask any more questions about it, so
she turned to the Mock Turtle and said, ‘“‘ What else had you to learn 2” -

“Well, there was Mystery,” the Mock Turtle replied, counting off
the subjects on his flappers — ‘‘ Mystery, ancient and modern, with Sea-
ography ; then Drawling — the Drawling-master was an old conger-eel
that used to come once a week; e taught us Drawling, Stretching,
and Fainting in Coils.”

‘““What was ¢had like?” said Alice.

‘Well, I can’t show it to you myself,” the Mock Turtle said; “I’m
too stiff. And the Gryphon never learned it.”

‘‘Hadn’t time,” said the Gryphon ; ‘I went to the Classical master,
though. He was an old crab, he was.” .

“I never went to him,” the Mock Turtle said with a sigh ; “he
taught Laughing and Grief, they used to say.”

‘So he did, so he did,” said the Gryphon, sighing in his turn; and
both creatures hid their faces in their paws.

‘“ And how many hours a day did you do lessons?” said Alice, in a
hurry to change the subject.

“Ten hours the first day,” said the Mock Turtle ; “ nine the next,
and so on.”

‘“ What a curious plan!” exclaimed Alice.

‘That's the reason they’re called lessons,” the Gryphon remarked ;
‘because they lessen from day to day.”

This was quite a new idea to Alice, and she thought it over a little
before she made her next remark. “Then the eleventh day must have
been a holiday ?”

‘Of course it was,” said the Mock Turtle.

“And how did you manage on the twelfth ?” Alice went on eagerly.

‘That's enough about lessons,” the Gryphon interrupted in a very
decided tone. “Tell her something about the games now.”



THE LOBSTER QUADRILLE. 8I

CHAPTER X.

THE LOBSTER QUADRILLE.

Tue Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and drew the back of one flapper
-across his eyes. He looked at Alice and tried to speak, but for a min-,

ute or two sobs. choked his
voice. ‘Same as if he had a
bone in his throat,” said the
Gryphon; and it set to work
shaking him and punching him
in the back. At last the Mock
Turtle recovered his voice, and,
with tears running down his
cheeks, he went on again, —
“You may not have lived
much under the sea” — (“I
haven't,” said Alice) — “and
perhaps you were never even
introduced to a Lobster ” —
(Alice began to say, “I once
tasted ””— but checked herself
hastily, and said, ‘“‘ No, never”)
—‘‘so you can have no idea



“LET’S TRY THE FIRST FIGURE,” SAID THE MOCK TURTLE,

what a delightful thing a Lobster Quadrille is.”

“No, indeed,” said Alice.

‘““Why,” said the Gryphon,

‘‘ What sort of a dance is it ?”
‘“‘you form a line along the seashore”—

“Two lines!” cried the Mock Turtle. ‘‘ Seals, turtles, salmon, and
so on; then, when you've cleared all the jelly-fish out of the way ” —



82 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

“That generally takes some time,” interrupted the Gryphon.

“You advance twice” —

“Each with a lobster as a partner!” cried the Gryphon.

“Of course,” the Mock Turtle said; ‘advance twice, set to part-
ners ” — .

‘Change lobsters, and retire in same order,” continued the Gryphon.

“Then you know,” the Mock Turtle went on, “ you throw the ” —

“The lobsters!” shouted the alae with a bound into the air.

‘As far out to sea as you can’

_« Swim after them!” screamed the Gryphon.

‘Turn a somersault in the sea!” cried the Mock Turtle, capering
wildly about.

“Change lobsters again!” yelled the Gryphon at the top of its voice.

“Back to land again, and—that’s all the first figure,” said the
Mock Turtle, suddenly dropping his voice; and the two creatures, who
had been jumping about like mad things all this time, sat down again
very sadly and quietly, and looked at Alice.

“Tt must be a very pretty dance,” said Alice timidly. |

“Would you like to see a little of it?” said the Mock Turtle.

‘Very much indeed,” said Alice.

‘Let's try the first figure!” said the Mock Turtle to the Gryphon.

“We can do it without lobsters, you know. Which shall sing?”

‘Oh, you sing,” said the Gryphon. “I’ve forgotten the words.”

So they began solemnly dancing round and round Alice, every now
and then treading on her toes when they passed too close, and waving
their fore paws to mark the time, while the Mock Turtle sang this, very
slowly and sadly: —

“¢Will you walk a little faster!’ said a whiting to a snail,
‘There’s a porpoise close behind us, and he’s treading on my tail.
See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance!
They are waiting on the shingle — will you come and join the dance?
Will you, won’t you, will you, won’t you, will you join the dance?
Will you, won’t you, will you, won’t you, won’t you join the dance?



THE LOBSTER QUADRILLE. 83

‘You can really have no notion how delightful it will be

When they take us up and throw us, with the lobsters, out to sea!’
But the snail replied, ‘Too far, too far!’ and gave a look askance —
Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he would not join the dance.
Would not, could not, would not, could not, would not join the dance.
Would not, could not, would not, could not, could not join the dance.

‘What matters it how far we go?’ his scaly friend replied,

‘There is another shore, you know, upon the other side.

The further off from England the nearer is to France;

Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance.

Will you, won’t you, will you, won’t you, will you join the dance?
Will you, won’t you, will you, won’t you, won’t you join the dance?’”

“Thank you; it’s a very interesting dance to watch,” said Alice,
feeling very glad that it was over at last; ‘‘and I do so like that curi-
ous song about the whiting!”

“Oh, as to the whiting,” said the Mock Turtle, ‘“ they — you’ve
seen them, of course?”

“Yes,” said Alice; “I’ve often seen them at dinn’
herself hastily.

“JT don’t know where Dinn may be,” said the Mock Turtle ; “ but if
you've seen them so often, of course you know what they’re like.”

“| believe so,” Alice replied thoughtfully. ‘They have their tails
in their mouths; and they’re all over crumbs.”

2

— she checked

“You're wrong about the crumbs,” said the Mock Turtle ; “crumbs
would all wash off in the sea. But they ave their tails in their

mouths; and the reason is” — here the Mock Turtle yawned and shut
his eyes — ‘tell her about the reason and all that,” he said to the
Gryphon. .

“The reason is,” said the Gryphon, “that they would go with the
lobsters to the dance. So they got thrown out to sea. So they had
to fall a long way. So they got their tails fast in their mouths. So
they couldn’t get them out again. That’s all.”

“Thank you,” said Alice, “it’s very interesting. I never knew so
much about a whiting before.” .



84 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

“T can tell you more than that, if you like,” said the Gryphon.
“Do you know why it’s called a whiting?”

‘I never thought about it,’ said Alice. ‘“ Why?”

“ L¢ does the boots and shoes,” the Gryphon replied very solemnly.

Alice was thoroughly puzzled. ‘ Does the boots and shoes!” she
repeated in a wondering tone.

‘“Why, what are your shoes done with?” said the Garin Sol
mean, what makes them so shiny?”

Alice looked down at them, and considered a little before she gave
her answer.“ They’re done with blacking, I believe.”

“ Boots and shoes under the sea,” the Gryphon went on ina deep
voice, “are done with whiting. Now you know.”

“And what are they made of?” Alice asked in a tone of great
curiosity.

‘« Soles and eels, of course,” the Gryphon replied rather impatiently ;
‘any shrimp could have told you that.”

“Tf I'd been the whiting,” said Alice, whose thoughts were still
running on the song, “I'd have said to the porpoise, ‘ Keep back, please ;

[22222

we don’t want you with us!

‘They were obliged to have him with them,” the Mock Turtle said ;
‘no wise fish would go anywhere without a porpoise.”

“Wouldn't it really?” said Alice in a tone of great surprise.

“Of course not,” said the’ Mock Turtle; “ why, if a fish came to me,
and told me he was going a journey, I should say, ‘With what porpoise ?’”

‘Don’t you mean ues ”?” said Alice.

“I mean what I say,” the Mock Turtle replied in an erence tone.
And the Gryphon added, ‘‘ Come, let’s hear some of your adventures.”

“T could tell you my adventures — beginning from this morning,”
said Alice a little timidly; “but it’s no use going back to eaieke ay.
because I was a different person then.”

‘ eon all that,” said the Mock Turtle.

“No, no! the adventures first,” said the ce in an impatient
tone; ‘‘explanations take such a dreadful time.”



THE LOBSTER QUADRILLE. 8 5

So Alice began telling them her adventures from the time when she
first saw the White Rabbit; she was a little nervous about it just at
first, the two creatures got so close to her, one on each side, and opened
their eyes and mouths so very wide, but she gained courage as she
went on. Her listeners were perfectly quiet till she got to the part
about her repeating, ‘“‘ You are old, Father William,’ to the Cater-
pillar, and the words all coming different; and then the Mock Turtle
drew a long breath, and esaid. very curious.” |

“It’s all about as curious as it can
be,” said the Gryphon.

“Tt all came different!” the Mock
Turtle repeated thoughtfully. “I should
like to hear her try and repeat something
now. ‘Tell her to begin.” He looked at
the Gryphon as if he thought it had some
kind of authority over Alice.

“Stand up and repeat, ‘’ 77s the votce
of the sluggard,” said the Gryphon.

‘«« How the creatures order one about,
and make one repeat lessons!” thought
Alice. ‘I might just as well be at school
“at once.”



However, she got up, and began to
repeat it; but her head was so full of the “{ MUST SUGAR MY HAIR,” SAYS THE
Lobster Quadrille that she hardly knew gee
what she was saying, and the words came very queer indeed : —

“?Tis the voice of the lobster; I heard him declare,
‘You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair.’

As a duck with its eyelids; so he with his nose,
Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out his toes.”

“That's different from what Z used to say when I was a child,”
said the Gryphon.



86 ALICE’S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

“Well, I never heard it before,” said the Mock Turtle; “but it
sounds uncommon nonsense.”

Alice said nothing; she had sat down again with her face in her
hands, wondering if anything would ever happen ina natural way again.

“T should like to have i explained,” said the Mock Turtle.

‘She can’t ou it,” said the Gryphon hastily. ‘Go on with
the next verse.”

“But about his toes?” the Mock Turtle persisted. ‘‘ How could he
turn them out with his nose, you know?”

“It’s the first position in dancing,” Alice said; but she was dread-
fully puzzled by the whole thing, and longed to change the subject.

“Go on with the next verse,” the Gryphon repeated impatiently ;
“it begins, ‘/ passed by his garden.” |
_ Alice did not dare to disobey, though she felt sure it would all come
wrong; and she went on in a trembling voice : —

“T passed by his garden, and marked, with one eye,
How the owl and the oyster were sharing the pie.”

«What zs the use of repeating all that stuff,” the Mock Turtle inter-
rupted, “if you don’t explain it as you goon? It’s by far the most
confusing thing / ever heard.”

‘Yes, I think you'd better leave off,” said the Con and Alice
was only too glad to do so.

‘« Shall we try another figure of the Lobster Quadrille : > the Gryphon
went on. ‘Or would you like the Mock Turtle to sing you a song?”

“Oh,a song, please, if the Mock Turtle would be so kind,” Alice
replied, so eagerly that the Gryphon said, in a rather offended tone, —

“Hm!” No accounting for tastes! Sing her ‘ Zurtle soup,’ will
you, old fellow?” |

The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and began,-in a voice sometimes
choked with sobs, to sing this : —

“ Beautiful Soup, so rich and green,
Waiting in a hot tureen!



THE LOBSTER QUADRILLE. 87

Who for such dainties would not stoop?

Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!

Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!
Beau — ootiful Soo — oop!
Beau — ootiful Soo — oop!

Soo —oop of the e—e— evening,
Beautiful, beautiful Soup!

-Beautiful Soup! Who cares for fish,

Game, or any other dish?

Who would not give all else for two p

ennyworth only of beautiful Soup?

Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup?
Beau — ootiful Soo — oop!
Beau — ootiful Soo — oop!

Soo—oop of the e—e— evening,
Beautiful, beauti— FUL SOUP!”

“ Chorus again,” cried the Gryphon; and the Mock Turtle had just
begun to repeat it, when a cry of ‘The trial’s beginning,” was heard
in the distance.

“Come on,” cried the Gryphon; and taking Alice by the hand, it
hurried off, without waiting for the end of the song.

“ What trial is it?” Alice panted as she ran; but the Gryphon only
answered, ‘“‘Come on,” and ran the faster, while more and more faintly
came, carried on the breeze that followed them, the melancholy words: —

“Soo — oop of the e —e— evening,
Beautiful, beautiful Soup!”





88 ALICE’S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

CHAPTER XI.
WHO STOLE THE TARTS?

Tue Kinc and Queen of Hearts were seated on their throne when
they arrived, with a great crowd assembled about them, —all sorts of
little birds and beasts, as well as the whole pack of cards. The Knave
was standing before them, in chains, with a soldier on each side to
guard him; and near the King was the White Rabbit, with a trumpet
in one hand, and a scroll of parchment in the other. In the very mid-
dle of the court was a table with a large dish of tarts upon it. They
looked so good that it: made Alice quite hungry to look at them. “JI
wish they'd get the trial done,” she thought, “and hand round the
refreshments.” But there seemed to be no chance of this, so she
began looking at everything about her to pass away the time.

Alice had never been in a court of justice before; but she had read
about them in books, and she was quite pleased to find that she knew’
the name of nearly everything there. ‘That's the judge,” she said to
herself, ‘‘ because of his great wig.”

The judge, by the way, was the King; and as he wore his crown
over the wig (look at the frontispiece if you want to see how he did
it), he did not look at all comfortable, and it was certainly not becoming.

“And that’s the jury-box,” thought Alice; ‘and those twelve crea-
tures” (she was obliged to say ‘‘ creatures,” you see, because some of
them were animals, and some were birds), “I suppose they are the
jurors.” She said this last word two or three times over to herself,
being rather proud of it; for she thought, and rightly too, that very
few little girls of her age knew the meaning of it at all. However,
“‘jurymen ” would have done just as well.



WHO STOLE THE TARTS? 89

The twelve jurors were all writing very busily on slates. ‘“ What
are they doing?” Alice whispered to the Gryphon. ‘“ They can’t have
anything to put down yet, before the trial’s begun.”

“ They’re putting down their. names,” the Gryphon whispered in
reply, “ for fear they should forget them before the end of the trial.”

“ Stupid things!” Alice began in a loud, indignant voice; but she
stopped herself hastily, for the White Rabbit cried out, “ Silence in
the court !”? and the King put on his spectacles and looked anxiously
round, to make out who was talking.

Alice could see, as well as if she were looking over their shoulders,
that all the jurors were writing down “ stupid things!” on their slates ;
and she could even make out that one of them didn’t know how to
spell “ stupid,” and that he had to ask
his neighbor to tell him. ‘ A nice mud-
dle their slates’ll be in before the trial’s
over!” thought Alice.

One of the jurors had a pencil that
squeaked. This, of course, Alice could
not stand; and she went round the court
and got behind him, and very soon found
an opportunity of taking it away. She
did it so quickly that the poor little juror
(it was Bill, the Lizard) could not make
out at all what had become of it; so,
after hunting all about for it, he was
obliged to write with one finger for the
rest of the day; and this was of very lit-



3 THE WHITE RABBIT AS HERALD.
tle use, as it left no mark on the slate. ;

“Herald, read the accusation!’ said the King.
On this the White Rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet, and
then unrolled the parchment scroll, and read as follows : —

“The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts,
All on a summer day;



. the

gO ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts,
And took them quite away!”

‘Consider your verdict,” the King said to the jury.

‘Not yet, not yet!” the Rabbit hastily interrupted. ‘ There’s a
great deal to come before that!”

‘Call the first witness,” said the King; and the White Rabbit blew
three blasts on the trumpet, and called out, “ First witness! ”

The first witness was the Hatter. He came in with a teacup in one
hand, and a piece of bread-and-butter in the other. ‘I beg pardon,
your majesty,” he began, “for bringing these in; but I hadn’t quite fin-
ished my tea when I was sent for.”

“You ought to have finished,” said the King. ‘ When did you

begin?”
The Hatter looked at the March Hare, who had followed him into
the court, arm-in-arm with the Dormouse. ‘‘ Fourteenth of March, I

think it was,” he said.

‘“‘ Fifteerith,” said the March Hare.

‘“‘ Sixteenth,” added the Dormouse.

‘Write that down,” the King said to the jury; and the jury eagerly
wrote down all three dates on their slates, and then added them up,
and reduced the answer to shillings and pence.

“Take off your hat,” the King said to the Hatter.

“Tt isn’t mine,” said the Hatter.

“Stolen!” the: King exclaimed, turning to the jury, who instantly
made a memorandum of the fact.

‘I keep them to sell,” the Hatter added as an explanation; “I’ve
none of my own. I’ma hatter.”

Here the Queen put on her spectacles, and began staring hard
at the Hatter, who turned pale and fidgeted.

‘Give your evidence,” said the King; “and don’t be nervous, or
I'll have you executed on the spot.”

This did not seem to encourage the witness at all. He kept shift-
ing from one foot to the other, looking uneasily at the Queen, and



HO STOLE THE TARTS? gI

in his confusion he bit a large piece out of his teacup instead of the
bread-and-butter.

Just at this moment Alice felt a very curious sensation, which puz-
zled her a good deal until she made out what it was; she was begin-
ning to grow larger again, and she thought at first she would get up
and leave the court; but on second thoughts she decided to remain
where she was as long as there was room
fonunhen

“J wish you wouldn’t squeeze so,” said
the Dormouse, who was sitting next to her.
“Tcan) hardly breathe.”

“T can’t help it,” said Alice very meekly ;
“T’m growing,”

“You've no right to grow here,” said the
Dormouse. ©

“Don’t talk nonsense,’ said Alice more
boldly ; ‘you know you're growing too.”

“Ves, but 7 grow at a reasonable pace,”



said the Dormouse; “not in that ridiculous
fashion.” And he got up very sulkily, and

THE WRETCHED HATTER SHOOK

crossed over to the other side of the court. Se HORS Oe

All this time the Queen had never left off staring at the Hatter ;
and just as the Dormouse crossed the court, she said to one of the
officers of the court, “ Bring me the list of the singers in the last con-
cert!” on which the wretched Hatter trembled so that he shook both
his shoes off.

“Give your evidence,” the King repeated angrily, “or I'll have you
executed, whether you’re nervous or not.”

“I’m a poor man, your majesty,” the Hatter began in a trembling
voice; ‘and I hadn’t but just begun my tea — not above a week or
so —and what with oS bread-and-butter getting so thin —and the
twinkling of the tea”

“The twinkling of eh ?” said the King.



92 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

“It degan with the tea,” the Hatter replied.

“Of course twinkling begins with a T!” said the King sharply.
‘Do you take me for a dunce? Go on!”

‘I’m a poor man,” the Hatter went on, ‘and most things twinkled
after that — only the March Hare said” —

‘“‘T didn’t!” the March Hare interrupted ina great hurry.

‘You did!” said the Hatter.

‘“‘T deny it,” said the March Hare.

‘“‘ He denies it,” said the King; ‘“‘ leave out that part.”

“Well, at any rate, the Dormouse said” —the Hatter went on,
looking anxiously round to see if he would deny it too; but the
Dormouse denied nothing, being fast asleep.

“ After oe continued the Hatter, “I cut some more bread-and-
butter”

“But what did the mormon say?” one of the jury asked.

“That I can’t remember,” remarked the Hatter.

“You must remember,” said the King, “or I'll have you executed.”

The miserable Hatter dropped his teacup and bread-and- butter, and _
went down on one knee. “I’m a poor man, your majesty,” he began.

“You're a very poor speaker,” said the King.

Here one of the guinea-pigs cheered, and was immediately sup-
pressed by the officers of the court. (As that is rather a hard word, I
will just explain to you how it was done. They had a large canvas
bag, which tied up at the mouth with strings; into this they slipped the
guinea-pig, head first, and then sat upon it.) ;

“I’m glad I’ve seen that done,” thought Alice. ‘I’ve so often read
in the newspapers, at the end of trials, ‘There was some attempt at ap-
plause, which was immediately suppressed by the officers of the court,’
and I never understood what it meant till now.”

“Tf that’s all you know about it, you may stand’ down,” continued
the King.

“TI can’t go rio lower,” said the Hatter; “I’m on the floor, as it is.”

“Then you may sz¢ down,” the King replied.



WHO STOLE THE TARTS? 93

Here the other guinea-pig cheered, and was suppressed.

“Come, that finishes the guinea-pigs! ” thought Alice. “Now we
shall get on better.”

‘“T’d rather finish my tea,” said the Hatter, with an anxious look at
the Queen, who was reading the list of singers.

“You may go,” said the King; and the Hatter hurriedly left the
court, without even waiting to put his shoes on.

« And just take his head off outside,” the Queen added to one of
the officers; but the Hatter was out of sight before the officer could get
to the door.

“Call the next witness!” said the King.

The next witness was the Duchess’ cook, who carried the pepper-box
in her hand;'and Alice guessed who it was, even before she got into
the court, by the way the people
near the door began sneezing all at
once.

‘Give your evidence,” said the
King.

“Sha’n’t,” said the cook.

The King looked anxiously at
the White Rabbit, who said in a low
voice, ‘‘ Your majesty must cross
examine ¢hzs witness.”

“Well, if I must, I must,” the
King said with a melancholy air;
and after folding his arms, and frowning at the cook till his eyes were
nearly out of sight, he said in a deep voice, ‘What are tarts made of?”

‘Pepper, mostly,”



THE HATTER LEFT HURRIEDLY.

said the cook.

“ Treacle,” said a sleepy voice behind her.

“ Collar that Dormouse |” the Queen shrieked out.‘ Behead that
Dormouse! Turn that Dormouse out of court! Suppress him! Pinch
him! Off with his whiskers ! ”

For some minutes the whole court was in confusion, getting the



ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN. WONDERLAND.
gy

Dormouse turned out; and by the time they had settled down again,
the cook had disappeared.

‘Never mind!” said the King, with an air of great relief. “Call
the next witness.” “And he added in an undertone to the Queen,
‘Really, my dear, you ru cross examine the next witness. It quite
makes my forehead ache!’

Alice watched the White Rabbit as he fumbled over the list, feeling
very curious to see what the next witness would be like — “ for they
haven't got much evidence yet,” she said to herself. Imagine her sur-
prise, when the White Rabbit read out, at the top of his shrill little
voice, the name “ Alice.”



ALICE'S EVIDENCE, 95

CHAPTER XII.
ALICE'S EVIDENCE. ©

« Here!” cried Alice, quite forgetting in the flurry of the moment
how large she had grown in the last few minutes; and she jumped up
in such a hurry that she tipped over the jury-box with the edge of her
skirt, upsetting all the jurymen onto the heads of the crowd below, and
there they lay sprawling about, reminding her very much of a globe of
goldfish she had accidentally upset the week before.

“Oh, I deg your pardon!” she exclaimed in a tone of great dismay ;
and began picking them up again as quickly as she could, for the acci-
dent of the goldfish kept running in her head, and she had a vague
sort of idea that they must be collected at once and put back into the
jury-box or they would die.

“The trial cannot proceed,” said the King in a very grave voice,
“until all the jurymen are back in their proper places — ad,” he repeated
with great emphasis, looking hard at Alice as he said so.

Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that, in her haste, she had mae
the Lizard in head downwards, and the poor little thing was waving its
tail about in a melancholy way, being quite unable to move. She soon
got it out again, and put it right ; “ not that it signifies much, ” she said
to herself; “1 should think it would be gute as much used in the trial
one way up as the other.”

As soon as the jury had a little recovered from the shock of being
upset, and their slates and pencils had been found and handed back to
them, they set to work very diligently to write a history of the accident ;
all except the Lizard, who seemed too much overcome to do anything
but sit with its mouth wide open, gazing up into the roof of the court.

“What do you know about this business?” the King said to Alice.



96 ALICE’S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

“Nothing,” said Alice.

‘Nothing whatever ?” persisted the King.

‘Nothing whatever,” said Alice.

“That's very important,” the King said, turning to the jury. They
were just beginning to write this down on their slates, when the White
Rabbit interrupted, ‘“‘ Vzimportant, your majesty means, of course,” he
said in a very respectful tone, but frowning and making faces at him as
he spoke. .

‘‘ Unimportant, of course, I meant,” the King hastily said, and went
on to himself in an undertone, “important — unimportant — unimpor-
tant — important,” as if he were trying which word sounded best.

Some of the jury wrote it down “important,” and some of them “ un-
important.” Alice could see this, as she was near enough to look over
their slates; ‘“ but it doesn’t matter a bit,” she thought to herself.

At this moment the King, who had been for some time busily writ-
ing in his note-book, called out “Silence!” and read out from his book,
‘Rule Forty-two. Ad persons more than a mile high to leave the court.”

Everybody looked at Alice.

‘““’m not a mile high,” said A lice.

‘You are,” said the King.

“Nearly two miles high,” added the Queen.

“Well, I sha’n’t go, at any rate,” said Alice ; ‘“ besides, that’s not a
regular rule; you invented it just now.”

‘It's the oldest rule in the book,” said the King.

‘““Then it ought to be Number One,” said Alice.

The king turned pale, and shut his note-book hastily. ‘ Consider
your verdict,” he said to the jury in a low, trembling voice.

““There’s more evidence to come yet, please your majesty,” said the
White Rabbit, jumping up in a great hurry; “this paper has just been
picked up.”

‘What's in it?” said the Queen.

“IT haven’t opened it yet,” said the White Rabbit ; ‘‘ but it seems to
be a letter written by the prisoner to — to somebody.”



Full Text











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ALICE S ADVENTURES
WONDERLAND,

THROUGH THE oe :

7 LEWwis GARR oi

WITH NINETY-TWO ILLUSTRATIONS
4 BY

JOHN TENNIEL
NEW EDITION IN ONE VOLUME

BOSTON .
LOTHROP PUBLISHING COMPANY


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LotTHROP PUBLISHING COMPANY,:




ALICE’s ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

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CONTENTS.

ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

PAGE
CHAPTER I.

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-CHAPTER II.

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CHAPTER III.

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CHAPTER IV.

THE Rappir SENDS IN A LITTLE BILL. . «©. . ee ee ee et ee 29
CHAPTER V.

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CHAPTER VI.

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CHAPTER VII.

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CHAPTER VIII.

THE QUEEN’S CROQUET-GROUND . «© ee ee ee ee ee es 64
CHAPTER IX.

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CHAPTER X.

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' 5


THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS.

LooKkING-GLass HOUSE

THE GARDEN OF LIVE FLOWERS .

LookinG-GLass INSECTS .

TWEEDLEDUM AND TWEEDLEDEE .

WOOL AND WATER

HuMPTy Dumpty

THE LION AND THE UNICORN .
“It's My Own INVENTION”
QUEEN ALICE

SHAKING

WAKING

WHICH DREAMED IT?

CONTENTS.

CHAPTER I.

CHAPTER II.

CHAPTER III.

CHAPTER IV.

CHAPTER V.

CHAPTER VI.

CHAPTER VII.

CHAPTER VIII.

CHAPTER IX.

CHAPTER X.

CHAPTER XI.

CHAPTER XII.

PAGE

107
118
127
137
148
159
170
179
IgI
205
205

206
eT ee ee re ee

INTRODUCTION.

ALL in the golden afternoon
Full leisurely we glide;

For both our oars, with little skill,
By little arms are plied,

While little hands make vain pretence
Our wanderings to guide.

Ah, cruel Three! In such an hour,
Beneath such dreamy weather,
To beg a tale, of breath too weak

To stir the tiniest feather!
Yet what can one poor voice avail
Against three tongues together?

Imperious Prima flashes forth
Her edict to “begin it” —
In gentler tone Secunda hopes
“There will be nonsense in it” —
While Tertia interrupts the tale
Not more than once a minute.

Anon, to sudden: silence won,
In fancy they pursue

The dream-child moving through a land
Of wonders wild and new,

In friendly chat with bird or beast —
And half believe it true.

And ever, as the story drained
The wells of fancy dry,

And faintly strove that weary one
To put the subject by,

“The rest next time’ — “It zs next time!”
The happy voices cry.

7
8 INTRODUCTION.

Thus grew the tale of Wonderland:
Thus slowly, one by one,

Its quaint events were hammered out —
And now the tale is done,

And:home we steer, a merry crew,
Beneath the setting sun.

Alice, a childish story take,
And with a gentle hand

Lay it where childhood’s dreams are twined,
In memory’s mystic band,

Like pilgrim’s withered wreath of flowers es
Plucked in a far-off land.

‘ALICE IN WONDERLAND” and ‘‘ THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS” were written for a
real live Alice. Her name was Alice Liddell, and her father was a college professor; another
college professor, whose name was Charles Lutwidge Dodgson, was teacher of mathematics in
the same college — the University of Oxford, in England. He wrote these wonder-stories
about Alice for Alice under the name of ‘‘ Lewis Carroll,” and that is the name by which he is
known to the million and more children who have read his delightful accounts of Alice’s mar-
vellous adventures.

Professor Dodgson died on the fourteenth of January, 1898, an old man of sixty-six; but
his story of Alice will never die. When you read it you will know why.
ALICE’S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

CHAPTER I.

DOWN THE RABBIT—HOLE.

ALICE was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on
the bank, and of having nothing to do; once or twice she had peeped




an
\i iTWAL tt

1 yl nis

THE RABBIT LOOKED AT HIS WATCH,

into the book her sister was reading,
but it had no pictures or conversations
in it, ““and what is the use of a book,”
thought Alice, ‘‘ without pictures or con-
versations ?”

So she was considering in her own
mind (as well as she could, for the hot
day made her feel very sleepy and stu-
pid) whether the pleasure of making a
daisy-chain would be worth the trouble
of getting up and picking the daisies,
when suddenly a white rabbit with pink
eyes ran close by her.

There was nothing so very remarka-
ble in that; nor did Alice think it so
very much out of the way to hear the

Rabbit say to itself, ‘Oh, dear! Oh, dear! I shall be too late!”
(When she thought it over afterward, it occurred to her that she
ought to have wondered at this, but at the time it all seemed quite

9


Io ALICE’S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

natural); but when the Rabbit actually took a watch out of its waist-
coat-pocket, and looked at it, and then hurried on, Alice started to her
feet; for it flashed across her mind that she had never before seen
a Rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket or a watch to take out of it,
and, burning with curiosity, she ran across the field after it, and was
just in time to see it pop down a large rabbit-hole under the hedge.

In another moment down went Alice after it, never once consid-
ering how in the world she was to get out again.

The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way, and
then dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a moment
to think about stopping herself, before she found herself falling down
what seemed to be a very deep well.

Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly; for she had
plenty of time as she. went down to look about her, and to wonder
what was going to happen next. First, she tried to look down and
make out what she was coming to, but it was too dark to see anything ;
then she looked at the sides of the well, and noticed that they were
filled with cupboards and bookshelves: here and there she saw maps
and pictures hung upon pegs. She took down a jar from one of the
shelves as she passed; it was labelled “ORANGE MARMALADE,”
but to her great disappointment it was empty; she did not like to
drop the jar for fear of killing somebody underneath, so managed
to put it into one of the cupboards as she fell past it.

“Well,” thought Alice to herself, “ after such a fall as this, J
shall think nothing of tumbliig down-stairs. How brave they'll all
think me at home! Why, I wouldn’t say anything about it, even if I
fell off the top of the house.” (Which was very likely true.)

Down, down, down. Would the fall zever come to an end? “I
wonder how many miles I’ve fallen by this time?” she said aloud.
“IT must be getting somewhere near the centre of the earth. Let
me see, that would be four thousand miles down, I think” (for, you
see, Alice had learned several things of this sort in her lessons in
the schoolroom; and though this was not a very good opportunity
DOWN THE RABBIT—HOLE. II

for showing off her knowledge, as there was no one to listen to her,
still it was good practice to say it over); ‘yes, that’s about the right
distance—but then I wonder what latitude or longitude I’ve got to?”
(Alice had not the slightest idea what latitude was or longitude either,
but she thought they were nice grand words to say.)

Presently she began again. “I wonder if I shall fall right chrough
the earth! How funny it'll seem to come out among the people
that walk with their heads downward! The Antipathies, I think”
(she was rather glad there was no one listening this time, as it
didn’t sound at all the right word); “but I shall have to ask them
what the name of the country is, you know. Please, ma’am, is this
New Zealand or Australia?” (And she tried to courtesy as she spoke
— fancy courtesying as you're falling through the air! Do you think
you could manage it?) ‘And what an ignorant little girl she'll
think me for asking! No, it'll never do to ask; perhaps I shall see
it written up somewhere.”

Down, down, down. There was nothing else to do, so Alice soon
began talking again. ‘Dinah’ll miss me very much to-night, I should
think!” (Dinah was the cat.) ‘I hope they’ll remember her saucer
of milk at tea-time. Dinah, my dear! I wish you were down here
with me! There are no mice in the air, I’m afraid, but you might
catch a bat, and that’s very like a mouse, you know. But do cats
eat bats, I wonder?” And here Alice began to get rather sleepy,
and went on saying to herself, in a dreamy sort of way, ‘‘Do cats
eat bats? .Do cats eat bats?” and sometimes, “Do bats eat cats?”
for, you see, as she couldn’t answer either question, it didn’t much
matter which way she put it. She felt that she was dozing off, and had
just begun to dream that she was walking hand in hand with Dinah,
and was saying to her very earnestly, ‘‘ Now, Dinah, tell me the truth ;
did you ever eat a bat?” when suddenly, thump! thump! down she
came upon a heap of sticks and dry leaves, and the fall was over.

Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up on to her feet in a
moment. . She looked up, but it was all dark overhead; before her
12 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

was another long passage, and the white rabbit was still in sight,
hurrying down it. There was not a moment to be lost: away went
Alice like the wind, and was just in time to hear it say, as it turned
a corner, “Oh, my ears and whiskers, how late it’s getting!” She
was close behind it when she turned the corner, but the Rabbit was
no longer to be seen: she found herself in a long, low hall, which
was lit up by a row of lamps hanging from the roof.

There were doors all round the hall, but they were all locked,
and when Alice had been all the way down one side and up the
other, trying every door, she walked sadly down the middle, wonder-
ing how she was ever to get out again. Suddenly she came upon
a little three-legged table, all made of solid glass; there was nothing
on it but a tiny golden key, and Alice’s first idea was that this might
belong to one of the doors of the hall; but alas! either the locks
were too large, or the key was too small, but at any rate it would
not open any of them. However,
on the second time round, she came
upon a low curtain that she had not,
noticed before, and behind it was a
little door about fifteen inches high;
she tried the little golden key in the
lock, and.to her great delight it fitted!

Alice opened the door and found
that it led into a small passage, not
much larger than a rat-hole; she
knelt down, and looked along the

Rogar aaa gsr ee passage into the loveliest garden you
ever saw. How she longed to get’out of that dark hall, and wan-
der about among those beds of bright flowers and those cool foun-
tains, but she could not even get her head through the doorway;
thought poor Alice, “it
would be of very little use without my shoulders. Oh, how I wish I
could shut up like a telescope! I think I could, if I only knew how to



”

‘and even if my head would go through,
DOWN THE RABBIT—HOLE. 13

begin.” For, you see, so many out-of-the-way things had happened
lately that Alice had begun to think that very few things indeed were
really impossible. .

There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door; so she
went back to the table, half hoping she might find another key on it, or
at any rate a book of rules for shutting people up like telescopes. This
time she found a little bottle on it (“which certainly was not here be-
fore,” said Alice), and tied round the neck of the bottle was a paper
label with the words “ DRINK ME”
beautifully printed on it in large letters.

It was all very well to say “ Drink

e,” but the wise little Alice was not
going to do ¢kat in a hurry. ‘No, I'll
look first,” she said, ‘“‘and see whether
it's marked ‘pozson’ or not;” for she had
read several nice little stories about chil-
dren who had got burned, and eaten up
by wild beasts, and other unpleasant
things, ali because they would not re-
member the simple rules their friends
had taught them; such as, that a red-hot
poker will burn you if you hold it too



“DRINK ME.”

long; and that if you cut your finger
very deeply with a knife, it usually bleeds; and she had never for-
gotten that, if you drink much from a bottle marked “ poison,” it is
almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or later.

However, this bottle was of marked “ poison,” so Alice ventured
‘to taste it: and finding it very nice (it had, in fact, a sort of mixed flavor
of cherry tart, custard, pineapple, roast turkey, toffy, and hot buttered
toast), she very soon finished it off.
I4 ALICE’S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

“What a curious feeling!” said Alice ; ‘‘ I must be shutting up like
a telescope.”

And so it was indeed ; she was now only ten inches high, and her
face brightened up at the thought that she was now the right size for
going through the little door into that lovely garden. First, however,
she waited for a few minutes to see if she was going to shrink any fur-
ther ; she felt a little nervous about this, “ for it might end, you know,”
said Alice to herself, “in my going out altogether, like a candle. J]
wonder what I should be like then?” And she tried to fancy what the
flame of a candle looks like after the candle is blown out, for she could
not remember ever having seen such a thing.

After a while, finding that nothing more happened, she decided on
going into the garden at once; but, alas for poor Alice! when she got
to the door, she found she had forgotten the little golden key, and when
she went back to the table for it, she found she could not possible reach
it; she could see it quite plainly through the glass, and she tried her
best to climb up one of the legs of the table, but it was too slippery ;
and when she had tired herself out with trying, the poor little thing sat
down and cried.

‘Come, there’s no use in crying like that!” said Alice to herself,
rather sharply ; “I advise you to leave off this minute!” She gene-
rally gave herself very good advice (though she very seldom followed it),
and sometimes she scolded herself so severely as to bring tears into her
eyes ; and once she remembered trying to box her own ears for having
cheated herself in a game of croquet she was playing against herself, for
this curious child was very fond of pretending to be two people. “But
it’s no use now,” thought poor Alice, ‘‘ to pretend to be two people !
Why, there’s hardly enough of me left to make one respectable person !”

Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under the
table; she opened it, and found in it a very small cake, on which the
words ‘EAT. ME” were beautifully marked in currants. ‘“ Well, I'll
eat it,” said Alice; ‘and if it makes me grow larger, I can reach the
key; and if it makes me grow smaller, I can creep under the door;

’
Pee ee

DOWN THE RABBIT—HOLE. 15

so either way I'll get into the garden, and I don’t care which hap-
pens.”

She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to herself, “Which way?
Which way?” holding her hand on the top of her head to feel which
way it was growing, and she was quite surprised to find that she
remained the same size; to be sure, this is what. generally happens
when one eats cake, but Alice had got so much into the way of ex-
pecting nothing but out-of-the-way things to happen, that it seemed
quite dull and stupid for life to go on in the common way.

So she set to work, and very soon finished off the cake.
16

ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

CHAPTER II.

THE POOL OF TEARS.



“YM OPENING OUT!” CRIED ALICE,

‘“CURIOUSER and curiouser,” cried
Alice (she was so much surprised that
for the moment she quite forgot how
to speak good English); “now I’m
opening out like the largest telescope
that ever was! Good-by, feet” (for
when she looked. down at her feet,
they seemed to be almost out of sight,
they were getting so far off). “Oh,
my poor little feet, I wonder who will
put on your shoes and stockings for you
now, dears? I’m sure J sha’n’'t be
able! I shall be a great deal too far
off to trouble myself about you: you
must manage the best way you can; but
I must be kind to them,” thought Alice,
“or perhaps they won’t walk the way I
want to go! Let me see; I'll give them
a new pair of boots every Christmas.”

And she went on planning to her-
self how she would manage it. ‘They
must go by the carrier, ” she thought;
“and how funny it'll seem, sending
presents to one’s own feet. And how
odd the directions will look!”
THE POOL OF TEARS. 17

Alice's Right Foot, Esq.
Flearthrug,
near the Fender,
‘(with Alice's love).

‘Oh, dear, what nonsense I’m talking! ”

Just at this moment her head struck against the roof of the hall;
in fact, she was now rather more than nine feet high, and she at once
took up the little golden key and hurried off to the garden door.

Poor Alice! It was as much as she could do, lying down on one
side, to look through into the garden with one eye; but to get through
was more hopeless than ever: she sat down and began to cry again.

“You ought to be ashamed of yourself,” said Alice, “a great girl
like you” (she might well say this), “to go on crying in this way!
Stop, this moment, I tell you!” But she went on all the same, shed-
ding gallons of tears, until there was a large pool all round her, about
four inches deep, and reaching half down the hall.

After a time she heard a little pattering of feet in the distance,
and she hastily dried her eyes to see what was coming. It was
the White Rabbit returning, splendidly dressed, with a pair of white
kid gloves in one hand and a large fan in the other. He came trot-
ting along in a great hurry, muttering to himself as he came, “Oh!
the Duchess, the Duchess! Oh! won’t she be savage if I’ve kept
her waiting?” Alice felt so desperate that she was ready to ask help
of any one; so, when the Rabbit came near her, she began, in a low,
timid’ voice, “If you please, sir’— The Rabbit started violently,
dropped the white kid gloves and the fan, and skurried away into
the darkness as hard as he could go.

Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, as the hall was very hot,
she kept fanning herself all the time she went on talking. “Dear,
dear! How queer everything is to-day! And yesterday things went
on just as usual. I wonder if I’ve been changed in the night? Let
me think; was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost

)
18 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I’m not the
same, the next question is, who in the world am I? Ah, ¢hat’s the
great puzzle!” And she began thinking over all the children she
knew that were of the same age as herself, to see if she could have
been changed for any of them. .

“T’m sure I’m not Ada,” she said, “ for her hair goes in such long

mnie. and mine doesn’t go in ringlets at all; and I’m sure J can’t be
Mabel, for I know all
sorts of things, and she,
oh! she knows such a
very little! Besides, she’s
she, and /’# I, and—oh,
dear, how puzzling it all
is! I'll try if I know all
the things J used to know.
Let me see; four times
five is twelve, and four
times six is thirteen, and
four times seven is— oh,
dear! I shall never get
to twenty at that rate !
However, the multipli-
cation table don’t signi-
fy: let’s try geography.
London is the capital of
Paris, and Paris is. the
capital of Rome, and
Rome — no, ¢hat’s all
wrong, I’m certain! I must have been changed for Mabel! [ll try
and say, ‘How doth the little’””»— and she crossed her hands on
her lap, as if she were saying lessons, and began to repeat it; but
her voice sounded hoarse and strange, and the words did not come
the same as they used to do: —



THE RABBIT DROPPED THE FAN.


THE POOL OF TEARS. . 19

“How doth the little crocodile
Improve his shining tail,
And pour the waters of the Nile
On every golden scale!

How cheerfully he seems to grin,
How neatly spreads his claws,

And welcomes little fishes in
With gently smiling jaws!”

‘Tm sure those are not the right words,” said poor Alice; and her
eyes filled with tears again as she went on, “I must be Mabel after all,
and I shall have to go and live.in that poky little house, and have next
to no toys to play with, and oh, ever so many lessons to learn! No,
I’ve made up my mind about. it; if I’m Mabel, I'll stay down here!
It'll be no use their putting their heads down and saying, ‘Come up
again, dear!’ I shall only look up and say, ‘Who am J, then? Tell
me that first, and then, if I like being that person, I’ll come up; if
not, I'll stay down here till I’m somebody else’ — but, oh, dear!” cried
_ Alice, with a sudden burst of tears, “I do wish they would put their
heads down! Iam so zery tired of being all alone here!”

As she said this, she looked down at her hands, and was surprised
to see that she had put on one of the Rabbit's little white kid gloves
while she was talking. ‘How can I have done that?” she thought.
“I must be growing small again.” She got up and went to the table
to measure herself by it, and found that, as. nearly as she could guess,
she was now about two feet high, and was going on shrinking rapidly ;
she soon found out that the causé of this was the fan she was holding,
and she dropped it hastily, just in time to save herself from shrinking
away altogether. ’

“That was a narrow escape!” said Alice, a good deal frightened
at the sudden change, but very glad to find herself still in existence;
“and now for the garden,” and she ran with all her speed back to the
little door; but alas! the little door was shut again, and the little
golden key was lying on the glass table as before, “and things are
20 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

worse than ever,” thought the poor child, ‘for I never was so small
as this before, never! And I declare it’s too bad, that it is!”

As she said these words her foot slipped, and in another moment,
splash! she was up to her chin in salt water. Her first idea was that
she had somehow fallen into the sea, ‘and in that case I can go back
by railway,” she said to herself. (Alice had been at the seaside once
in her life, and had come to the gen-
eral conclusion that wherever you
go to on the English coast, you find
a number of bathing-machines in
the sea, some children digging in
the sand with wooden spades, then
a row of lodging-houses, and behind











Se them a railway station.) However,

= she soon made out that she was in
SSS the pool of tears which she had

eS oe pe OuE: wept when she was nine feet high.

‘“T wish I hadn't cried so much!” said Alice as she swam about, try-
ing to find her way out. “I shall be punished for it now, I suppose, by
being drowned in my own tears. That w7// be a queer thing, to be
sure! However, everything is queer to-day.”

Just then she heard something splashing about in the pool a little
way off, and she swam nearer to make out what it was; at first she
thought it must be a walrus or hippopotamus ; but then she remembered
how small she was now, and she soon made out that it was only a
mouse that had slipped in like herself.

“Would it be of any use, now,” thought Alice, “to speak to this
mouse? Everything is so out of the way down here, that I should
think very likely it can talk; at any rate, there’s no harm in trying.”
So she began, ‘“O Mouse, do you know the way out of this pool? I
am very tired of swimming about here, O Mouse!” (Alice thought
this must be the right way of speaking to a mouse; she had never done
such a thing before, but she remembered having seen in her brother’s
THE POOL OF TEARS. 21

Latin grammar, “ A mouse —of a mouse —to a mouse —a mouse —
O mouse!”) The Mouse looked at her rather inquisitively, and seemed
to her to wink with one of its little eyes, but it said nothing.

“Perhaps it doesn’t understand English,” thought Alice; ‘I dare
say it’s a French Mouse, come over with William the Conqueror.”
(For, with all her knowledge of history, Alice had no very clear notion
how long ago anything had happened.) So she began again: ‘‘ Ow est
ma chatte?” which was the first sentence in her French lesson-book.
The Mouse gave a sudden leap out of the water, and seemed to quiver
all over with fright. ‘Oh, 1 beg your pardon!” cried Alice hastily,
afraid that she had hurt the poor animal’s feelings, ‘I quite forgot you
didn’t like cats.”

“Not like cats!” cried the Mouse in a shrill, passionate voice.
“Would you like cats if you were me?” ,

‘Well, perhaps not,” said Alice in a soothing tone ; ‘don’t be angry
about it. And yet I
wish I could show you
our cat Dinah; I think
you'd take a fancy to



cats if you could only
see her. She is sucha
dear quiet thing,” Alice
went on, half to herself,
as she swam lazily about
in the pool; “and she



sits purring so nicely
by the fire, licking her
paws and washing her face; and she is such a nice soft thing to

BEG YOUR PARDON!” CRIED ALICE.

nurse; and she’s a capital one for catching mice —oh, I beg your
pardon!” cried Alice again; for this time the Mouse was bristling all
over, and she felt certain it must be really offended. ‘“ We won’t talk
about her any more if you'd rather not.”

«We, indeed!” cried the Mouse, who was trembling down tc the


22 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

end of his tail. ‘As if / would talk on such a subject! Our family
always hated cats — nasty, low, vulgar things! Don’t let me hear the
name again !”

“T won’t indeed !” said Alice in a great hurry to change the subject
of conversation. ‘“ Are you—are you fond—of—of dogs?” The
Mouse did not answer, so Alice went on eagerly: ‘There is such a
nice little dog near our house I should like to show you! A little
bright-eyed terrier, you know, with oh! such long, curly brown hair!
And it'll fetch things when you throw them, and it'll sit up and beg for
its dinner, and all sorts of things—I can’t remember half of them;
and it belongs to a farmer, you know, and he says it’s so useful, it’s
worth a hundred pounds! He says it kills all the rats and — oh, dear!”
cried Alice in a sorrowful tone, ‘I’m afraid I’ve offended it again!”
For the Mouse was swimming away from her as hard as it could go,
and making quite a commotion in the pool as it went.

So she called softly after it, “Mouse dear! do come back again,
and we won't talk about cats or dogs either, if you don’t like them!”
When the Mouse heard this, it turned round and swam slowly back to
her; its face was quite pale (with passion, Alice thought), and it said
in a low, trembling voice, ‘‘ Let us get to the shore, and then [ll tell
you my history, and you'll understand why it is I hate cats and dogs.”

It was high time to go, for the pool was getting quite crowded
‘with the birds and animals that had fallen into it: there was a Duck
and a Dodo, a Lory and an Eaglet, and several other curious crea-
tures. Alice led the way, and the whole party swam to the shore.
A CAUCUS-RACE AND A LONG TALE. 23

CHAPTER III.
A CAUCUS-RACE AND A LONG TALE.

Tuey were indeed a queer-looking party that assembled on the
bank, —the birds with draggled feathers, the animals with their fur
clinging close to
them, and all drip-
ping wet, cross, and
uncomfortable.

The first ques-
tion of course was,
howto getdry again.
They had aconsulta-
‘tion about this, and
after a few minutes
it seemed quite nat-
ural to Alice to find.
herself talking fa-
miliarly with them,



“LL MAKE YOU DRY ENOUGH!” SAID THE MOUSE,

as if she had known
them all her life. Indeed, she had quite a long argument with the
Lory, who at last turned sulky, and would only say, “I am older
than you, and must know better;” and this Alice would not allow,
without knowing how old it was, and as the Lory positively refused
to tell its age, there was no more to be said.

At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of some authority
among them, called out, ‘ Sit down, all of you, and listen tome! J’
soon make you dry enough!” They all sat down at once, in a large

ed

i
24 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

ring, with the Mouse in the middle. Alice kept her eyes anxiously
fixed on it, for she felt sure she would catch a bad cold if she did
not get dry very soon.

“Ahem!” said the Mouse with an important air, “are you all
ready? This is the dryest thing I know. Silence all round, if you
please! ‘William the Conqueror, whose cause was favored by the
pope, was soon submitted to by the English, who wanted leaders, and
had been of late much accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Ed-
win and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria ” —

“Ugh!” said the Lory with a shiver.

“TI beg your pardon,” said the Mouse, frowning, but very po-

.

litely ; ‘did you speak?”
“Not I!” said the Lory hastily.
“T thought you did,” said the Mouse. “I proceed. ‘Edwin and
Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him; and
even Stigand, the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, found it ad-

yo)

visable’ ” —
“Found what?” said the Duck.
‘Found 2¢,” the Mouse replied rather crossly; “of course you

»

know what ‘it’ means.”
‘‘T know what ‘it’ means well enough when / find a thing,” said

the Duck; ‘it’s generally a frog or a worm. The question is, what
did the archbishop find?”

The Mouse did not notice this question, but hurriedly went on,
“* Found it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William and
offer him the crown. William’s conduct at first was moderate. But
the insolence of his Normans’— How are you getting on now, my
dear?” it continued, turning to Alice as he spoke.

‘“As wet.as ever,” said Alice in a melancholy tone; “it doesn’t
seem to dry me at all.”

“In that case,” said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet, “I move

that the meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of more ener-.

getic remedies ” —
A CAUCUS—-RACE AND A’ LONG TALE. 25

“Speak English!” said the Eaglet. ‘I don’t know the meaning
of half those long words, and what’s more, I don’t believe you do
either!” And the Eaglet bent down his head to hide a smile: some
of the other birds tittered audibly.

“What I was going to say,” said the Dodo in an offended tone,
“was that the best thing to get us dry would be a caucus-race.”

‘What zs a caucus-race?” said Alice; not that she much wanted
to know, but the Dodo had paused as if it thought that somebody ought
to speak, and no one else seemed inclined to say anything.

“Why,” said the Dodo, “the best way to explain it is to do it.” .

(And as you might like to try the thing yourself, some winter day, I
will tell you how the Dodo managed it.)

First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle (‘the exact
shape doesn’t matter,” it said), and then all the party were placed
along the course, here and there. There was no “ One, two, three,

and away ;” but they began running when they liked and left off when,

they liked, so that it was not easy to know when the race was over.
However, when they had been running half an hour or so, and were
quite dry again, the Dodo suddenly called out, “The race is over!”
and they all crowded round it, panting and asking, “ But who has won ?”

_ This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal of
thought, and it sat for a long time with one finger pressed upon its
forehead (the position in which you usually see Shakespeare, in the
pictures of him), while the rest waited in silence. At last the Dodo
said, “Everybody has won, and all must have prizes.”

‘‘ But who is to give the prizes?” quite a chorus of voices asked.

“Why, she, of course,” said the Dodo, pointing to Alice with one
finger; and the whole party at once crowded round her, calling out in
a confused way, ‘‘ Prizes, prizes!”

Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put her‘hand into
her pocket, and pulled out a box of comfits (luckily the salt water had
not got into it), and handed them round as prizes. There was exactly
one a-piece all round.
26 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

“But she must have a prize herself, you know,” said the Mouse.

“Of course,” the Dodo replied very gravely. ‘‘ What else have —
you got in your pocket?” he went on, turning to Alice.

‘“ Only a thimble,” said Alice sadly.

‘Hand it over here,” said the Dodo.

Then they all crowded round her once more, while the Dodo sol-

emnly presented the thimble, saying, ‘‘ We beg your acceptance of this
elegant thimble;” and when it had fin-

ished this short speech, they all cheered.
Alice thought the whole thing
very absurd; but they all
looked so grave that she
did not dare to laugh, and
as she could not think of



anything to say, she sim-
ply bowed, and took the
thimble, looking as sol-
emn as she could.

The next thing was
to eat the comfits. This
was the cause of some
noise and confusion; the
large birds complained
that they could not taste
theirs, and the small ones

THE DODO PRESENTS THE THIMBLE, choked and had to be
patted on the back. However, it was over at last, and they sat down
again in a ring, and begged the Mouse to tell them something more.

“You promised to tell me your history, you know,” said Alice,
“and why it is you hate—C and D,” she added in a whisper, half
afraid that it would be offended again.

“Mine is a long and a sad tale!” said the Mouse, turning to Alice,
and sighing.
A CAUCUS—RACE AND A LONG TALE. 27

“Tt zs.a long tail, certainly,” said Alice, looking down with wonder at
the Mouse’s tail ; ‘‘ but why do you call itsad?” And she kept on puz-
zling about it while the Mouse was speaking, so that her idea of the tale

was something like this : —

“Fury said to
a mouse, That
he met
in the
house,
‘Let us
both go
to law:
f will
prosecute
you. —
Come, I’ll
_take no
denial:
We must
have a
trial ;
For
really
this
morning
I’ve
nothing
to do.’
Said the
mouse to
the cur,
©Such a
trial,
dear sir,
With no
jury or
judge,
would be
wasting
our breath.’
‘Tl be
judge,
Tll be ’
jury,’
Said
cunning
old Fury ;
‘Tl try
the whole
cause,
ani

condemn
you

to
death.”

“You are not attending!” said the
Mouse to Alice severely. ‘What are
you thinking of?”

“T beg your pardon,” said Alice very
humbly; ‘‘ you had got to the fifth bend,
I think.”

“JT had wzot/” cried the Mouse
sharply, and very angrily.

‘A knot!” said Alice, always ready
to make herself useful, and looking anx-
iously about her. ‘Oh, do let me help
to undo it!”

~“T shall do nothing of the sort,” said
the Mouse, getting up and walking away.
“You insult me by talking such non-
sense |”

“T didn’t mean it!” pleaded poor
Alice. ‘But you're so easily offended,
you. know.”

The Mouse only growled in reply.

“Please come back, and finish your
story!” Alice called after it; and the
others all joined in chorus, “ Yes, please
do!” but the Mouse only shook its head
impatiently, and walked a little quicker.

“What a pity it wouldn't stay!”
sighed the Lory, as soon as it was quite
out of sight; and an old crab took the
opportunity of saying to her daughter,
28 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

‘Ah, my dear! let this be a lesson to you never to lose your tem-
per!” .
“Hold your tongue, ma!” said the young crab a little snappishly ;
“‘you’re enough to try the patience of an oyster!”

“JT wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do!” said Alice aloud,
addressing nobody in particular. ‘“She’d soon fetch it back!”

“And who is Dinah, if I might venture to‘ask the question?”
said the Lory.

Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to talk about her
_ pet. ‘Dinah’s our cat. And she’s such a capital one for catching
mice, you can’t think! .And oh, I wish you could see her after the
birds! Why, she'll eat a little bird as soon as look at it!”

This speech caused a remarkable sensation among the party.
Some of the birds hurried off at once; one old magpie began wrap-
ping itself up very carefully, remarking, “I really must be getting
home; the night air doesn’t suit my throat!” and a canary called out
in a trembling voice to its children, ‘Come away, my dears! It’s
high time you were all in bed!” On various pretexts they all moved
off, and Alice was soon left alone.

“T wish I hadn’t mentioned Dinah!” she said to herself in a mel-

ancholy tone. ‘Nobody seems to like her down here, and I’m sure
she’s the best cat in the world! Oh, my dear Dinah! I wonder if
I shall ever see you any more!” And here poor Alice began to ery

again, for she felt very lonely and low-spirited. In a little while,
however, she again heard a little pattering of footsteps in the dis-
tance;.and she looked up eagerly, half hoping that the Mouse had
changed his mind, and was coming back to finish his story.
THE RABBIT SENDS IN A LITTLE BILL. 29

CHAPTER IV.
THE RABBIT SENDS IN A LITTLE BILL.

Ir was the White Rabbit, trotting slowly back again, and looking
anxiously about as it went, as if it had lost something ; and she heard
it muttering to itself, “The Duchess! The Duchess! Oh, my dear
paws! Oh, my fur and whiskers! She'll get me executed, as sure
as ferrets are ferrets! Where caz Ihave dropped them, I wonder!”
Alice guessed in a moment that it was looking for the fan and the
pair of white kid gloves, and she very good-naturedly began hunt-
ing about for them; but they were nowhere to be seen — everything
seemed to have cae since her swim in the pool, and the great
hall, with the glass table and the little door, had- vanished completely.

Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice, as she went hunting about,
and called out to her in an angry tone, “ Why, Mary Ann, what are
you doing out here? Run home this moment, and fetch me a pair
of gloves and a fan! Quick, now!” And Alice was so much fright-
ened that she ran off at once in the direction it pointed to, without
trying to explain the mistake that it had made.

“He took me for his housemaid,” she said to herself as she ran.
‘How surprised he'll be when he finds out whoI am! But I’d bet-
ter take him his fan and gloves—that is, if I can find them.” As
she said this, she came upon a neat little house, on the door of which
was a bright brass plate, with the name “W. RABBIT” engraved
upon it. She went in without knocking, and hurried up-stairs, in great
fear lest she should meet the real Mary Ann, and be turned out of
the house before she had found the fan and gloves.

‘How queer it seems,” Alice said to herself, “to be going mes-
30 ALICE’S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

sages for a rabbit! I suppose Dinah’ll be sending me on messages
next!” And she began fancying the sort of thing that would hap-
pen: ‘“‘Miss Alice! Come here directly, and get ready for your walk!’
‘Coming in a minute, nurse! But I’ve got to watch this mousehole
till Dinah comes back, and see that the mouse doesn’t get out.’ Only
I don’t think,” Alice went on, ‘“ that they’d let Dinah stop in the house
if it began ordering people about like that!”

By this time she had found her way into a tidy little room with a
table in the window, and on it (as she had hoped) a fan and two or
three pairs of tiny white kid gloves. She took up the fan and a pair
of the gloves, and was just going to leave the room, when her eye fell
upon a little bottle that stood near the looking-glass. There was no
label this time with the words “DRINK ME;” but nevertheless she
uncorked it, and put it to her lips. “I know something interesting is
sure to happen,” she said to herself, “whenever I eat or drink anything;
so I'll just see what
this bottle does. I
do hope it'll make
me grow largeagain,
for really I’m quite
tired of being such
a tiny little thing!”

It did so indeed,
much sooner than
she expected; and



PP \\\\WSS
Laud) LASS : I] before she had
Sz f WV 4 22 || drunk half the bot-
= tle, she found her
WHAT HAPPENED TO ALICE, head pressing hard

against the ceiling, and had to stoop to save her neck from being
broken. She hastily put down the bottle, saying to herself, ‘ That's:
quite enough —I hope I sha’n’t grow any more —as it is, I can’t get
out at the door—I do wish I hadn't drunk quite so much!”
THE RABBIT SENDS IN A LITTLE BILL. 31

Alas! It was too late to wish that! She went on growing and
' growing, and very soon had to kneel down on the floor. In another
minute there was not even room for this; and she tried the effect of
lying down, with one elbow against the door, and the other arm curled
round her head. Still she went on growing; and, as a last resource,
she put one arm out of the window, and one foot up the chimney, and
said to herself, ‘‘ Now I can do no more, whatever happens. What w2d/
become of me?”

Luckily for Alice, the little magic bottle had now had its full effect,
and she grew no larger; still it was very uncomfortable, and as there
seemed to be no sort of chance of her ever getting out of the room
again, no wonder she felt unhappy.

‘Tt was much pleasanter at home,” thought poor Alice, ‘when one
wasn’t always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about by
mice and rabbits. I almost wish I hadn’t gone down that rabbit-hole ~
—and yet—and yet — it’s rather curious, you know, this sort of life !
I do wonder what caz have happened to me! When I used to read
fairy-tales, I] fancied that kind of thing never happened, and now here
I am in the middle of one. There ought to be a book written about
me, that there ought! And when I grow up, I'll write one — but I’m
grown up now,” she added in a sorrowful tone; ‘at least, there’s no
room to grow up any more here.”

“ But then,” thought Alice, “ shall I zever get any older than I am
-now? ‘That'll be a comfort, one way — never to be an old woman —
but then always to have lessons to learn! Oh, I shouldn't like chat.”

““Oh, you foolish Alice!”. she answered herself. ‘How can you
learn lessons in here? Why, there’s hardly room for you, and no
room at all for any lesson-books !”

And so she went on, taking first one side and then the other, and
making quite a conversation of it altogether; but after a few minutes
she heard a voice outside, and stopped to listen.

‘Mary Ann! Mary Ann!” said the voice, “fetch me my gloves
this moment!” Then came a little pattering of feet on the stairs. -


32 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

Alice knew it was the Rabbit coming to look for her; and she trembled |
till she shook the house, quite forgetting that she was now about a thou-
sand times as large as the Rabbit, and had no reason to be afraid of it.
Presently the Rabbit came up to the door, and tried to open it; but
as the door opened inward, and Alice’s elbow was pressed hard against
it, that attempt proved a failure. Alice heard it a to itself, “Then

T'll go round and get in at the window.”
“ That you won't!” thought Alice;

and after waiting till she fancied she heard
the Rabbit just under the window, she
suddenly spread out her- hand, and made
a snatch in the air. She did not get hold
of anything ; but she heard a little shriek —
and a fall, and a crash of broken glass,
from which she concluded that it was just
possible it had fallen into a cucumber-
frame, or something of the sort.

Next came an angry voice, — the
Rabbit’s, —‘‘Pat! Pat! Where are you?”
And then a voice she had never heard ©
befores source, then hime here! Digging
for apples, yer honor!”

“ Digging for apples, indeed!” said the Rabbit angrily. “ Here!
Come and help me out of ¢#zs/” (Sounds of more broken glass.)

“ Now tell me, Pat, what’s that in the window?”

“Sure, it’s an arm, yer honor!” (He pronounced it “arrum.”

“An arm, you goose! Who ever saw one that size? Why, it
fills the whole window!”

‘Sure, it does, yer honor; but it’s an arm, for all that.”

“Well, it’s got no business there, at any rate; go and take it away!”

There was a long silence after this; and Alice could only hear
whispers now and then, such as, “Sure, I don’t like it, yer honor, at
allpat allie

Zr
OLED

‘f
i
i
1)
1)

rrr

aa



= =a 4
‘ PHO v

SED ee

ALICE SPRFAD OUT HER HAND,
THE RABBIT SENDS IN A LITTLE BILL. 33

“Do.as I tell you, you coward!” and at last she spread out her
hand, again and made another snatch in the air. This time there were
two little shrieks, and more sounds of broken glass. “What a number
of cucumber-frames there must be!” thought Alice. “I wonder what
they'll do next! As for pulling me out of the window, I only wish
they could. I’m sure / don’t want to stay in here any longer!”

She waited for some time without hearing anything more. At last
came a rumbling of little cart-wheels, and the sound of a good many
voices all talking together; she made out the words, ‘‘ Where’s the |
other ladder ?>— Why, I hadn’t to bring but one; Bill’s got the other.
— Bill! fetch it here, lad! — Here, put ’em up at this corner — No,
tie °em together first — they don’t reach half high enough yet — Oh!
they'll do well enough; don’t be particular — Here, Bill! catch hold
of this rope — Will the roof bear ?— Mind that loose slate — Oh, it’s
coming down! Heads below!” (a loud crash) — ‘“ Now, who did
that ?— It was Bill, I fancy — Who’s to go down the chimney ?—
Nay, Z sha’n’'t! You do it!— That I won't then !— Bill’s got to go
down — Here, Bill! the master says you've got to go down the
chimney !”

‘“Oh, so Bill’s got to come down the chimney, has he?” said
Alice to herself. ‘ Why, they seem to put everything upon Bill !
I wouldn’t be in Bill’s place fora good deal; this fireplace is narrow,
to be sure, but I ¢#4zz& I can kick a little.”

_ She drew her foot as far down the chimney as she could, and
waited till she heard a little animal (she couldn’t guess of what sort
it was) scratching and scrambling about in the chimney close above
her; then, saying to herself, “ This is Bill,” she gave one sharp kick,
and waited to see what would happen next.

The first thing she heard was a general chorus of ‘There goes
Bill!” then the Rabbit’s voice alone,.‘‘ Catch him, you by the hedge!”
then silence, and then another confusion of voices —‘“ Hold up his
head — Brandy now— Don’t choke him — How was it, old fellow? —
What happened to you?—Tell us all about it!”




34

ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

Last came a little feeble squeaking voice (‘ That’s Bill,” thought
Alice), “Well, I hardly know —no more, thank ye, I’m better now
. — but I’m a deal too flustered to tell you —all I know is, something

comes

at me like a Jack-in-the-box, and up I goes like a sky-rocket!”

“So you did, old fellow!” said the others.







SQA) WANG,

ee int

Sn
SS
SO

WS
\

SAN
S

SH \ STN
ne

S

w)\
he tify i)
a






Ss
SS
SS

ll lS

SS

eS Se

LS

“THERE GOES BILL!”

«“We must burn the “house down!” said
the Rabbit’s voice, and Alice called out as
loud as she could, “If you do, I'll set Dinah
at you!”

There was a dead silence instantly; and
Alice thought to herself, “I wonder what they
will do next! If they had any sense, they'd
take the roof off.” After a minute or two
they began moving about again, and Alice
heard the Rabbit say, “A barrowful will do,
to begin with.”

“A barrowful of what?” thought Alice ;
but she had not long to doubt, for the next
moment a shower of little pebbles came rat-
tling in at the window, and some of them hit
her in the face. “I'll put a stop to this,” she
said to herself, and shouted out, ‘‘ You'd
better not do that again!” which produced
another dead silence.

Alice noticed with some surprise that the
pebbles were all turning into little cakes as
they lay on the floor, and a bright idea came |
into her head. ‘‘1f I eat one of these cakes,”
she thought, “it’s sure to make some change
in my size; and as it can’t possibly make me

larger, it must make me smaller, I suppose.”
So she swallowed one of the cakes, and was delighted to find that _
she began shrinking directly. As soon as she was small enough to
THE RABBIT SENDS IN A LITTLE BILL. 35

get through the door, she ran out of the house, and found quite a
crowd of little animals and birds waiting outside. The poor little
lizard, Bill, was in the middle, being held up by two guinea-pigs, who
were giving it something out of a bottle. They all made a rush at
Alice the moment she appeared; but she ran off as hard as she could,
and soon found herself safe in a thick wood.

“The first thing I’ve got to do,” said Alice to herself, as she wan-
dered about in the wood, ‘‘is to grow to my right size again; and the
second thing is to find my way into that lovely garden. I think that
will be the best plan.”

It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, ane very neatly and simply
arranged ; the only difficulty was, that she had not the smallest idea :
how to set about it; and while she was peering about anxiously among
the trees, a little sharp bark just over her head made her look up in a
great hurry.

An enormous puppy was looking down at ‘her with large round
eyes, and feebly stretching out one paw, trying to touch her. “ Poor
little thing!” said Alice in a coaxing tone; and she tried hard to
whistle to it, but she was terribly frightened all the time at the thought
that it might be hungry, in which case it would be ae likely to eat
her up in spite of all her coaxing.

Hardly knowing what she did, she picked up a little bit of stick,
and held it out to the puppy; whereupon the puppy jumped into the
air off all its feet at once, with a yelp of delight, and rushed at the
stick, and made believe to worry it; then Alice dodged behind a great
thistle, to keep herself from being run over, and the moment she
appeared on the other side, the puppy made another rush at the stick,
and tumbled head over heels in its hurry to get hold of it; then Alice,
thinking it was very like having a game of play with a cart-horse, and
expecting every moment to be trampled under his feet, ran round the
thistle again; then the puppy began a series of short charges at the
stick, running a very little way forward each time and a long way back, »
and barking hoarsely all the while, till at last it sat down a good way
36 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

off, panting, with its tongue hanging out of its mouth, and its great
eyes half shut.

This seemed to Alice a good opportunity for making her escape ;
so she set off at once, and ran till she was quite tired and out of breath,
and till the puppy’s bark sounded quite faint in the distance.

« And yet what a dear little puppy it was,” said Alice, as she leaned

HY,

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Y i ‘
em P By Nid esing 7M: pw 7,
" 7 ; k ;
Ald, 2 Bir niyZe! We
hyp? ;

fi



THE ENORMOUS PUPPY.

against a buttercup to rest herself, and fanned herself with one of the
leaves. ‘I should have liked teaching it tricks very much, if — if I’d
only been the right size to do it! Oh,dear! I'd nearly forgotten that
I've got to grow up again. Let me see — how zs it to be managed ?
THE RABBIT SENDS IN A LITTLE BILL. 37

I suppose I ought to eat or drink something or other, but the great
question is, what ?”

The great question certainly was, ere Alice looked all round
her at the flowers and the blades of grass, but she could not see any-
thing that looked like the right thing to eat or drink under the circum-
stances. There was a large mushroom growing near her, about the
same height as herself; and when she had looked under it, and on both
sides of it, and behind it, it occurred to her that she might as well look
and see what was on the top of it.

She stretched herself up on tiptoe, and eed over the edge of
the mushroom; and her eyes immediately met those of a large blue
caterpillar that was sitting on the top with its arms folded, quietly
smoking a long hookah, and taking not the smallest notice a her or
of anybody olga:
38

ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

CHAPTER V.

ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR.

Tue Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other in silence. At last.
the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth, and addressed her in

VA

AY
HN

x

ZF.

S=

— =

Li,

3/22

THE CATERPILLAR ADDRESSING ALICE,

“I don’t see,” said the Caterpillar.



a languid, sleepy voice.

‘“Who are you?” said the
Caterpillar.

This was not an encoura-
ging opening for a conversa-
tion. Alice replied rather shyly,
“1 —] hardly know, sir, just at
present — at least, I know who
I was when I got up this morn-
ing, but I think I must have
been changed several times
since then.”

“What do you mean by
that?” said the Caterpillar stern-
ly. ‘“ Explain yourself.”

“I cannot explain myself,
I’m afraid, sir,” said Alice,
“because I’m not myself, you

“Tm afraid I can’t put it more clearly,” Alice replied very politely;
“for I can’t understand it myself to begin with ; and being so many
different sizes in a day is very confusing.”
ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR. 39

“Tt isn’t,” said the Caterpillar.

«Well, perhaps you haven’t found it so yet,” said Alice; “ but when
you have to turn into a chrysalis, — you will some day, you know, — and
then after that into a butterfly, I should think you'll feel it a little queer,
won't you?”

“Not a bit,” said the Caterpillar.

«Well, perhaps your feelings may be different,” said Alice; “all I
know is, it would feel very queer to me.” .

“You!” said the Caterpillar contemptuously. ‘Who are you ?”

Which brought them back again to the beginning of the conversa-
tion. Alice felt a little irritated at the caterpillar’s making such very
short remarks, and she drew herself up. and said, very gravely, “I think
you ought to tell me who you are, first.”

“Why ?” said the Caterpillar.

Here was another puzzling question ; and, as Alice could not think
of any good reason, and as the Caterpillar seemed to be in a very un-
pleasant state of mind, she turned away.

“Come back!” the Caterpillar called after her. “I’ve something
important to say!”

This sounded promising, certainly. Alice turned and came back
again.

‘Keep your temper,” said the Caterpillar.

‘Ts that all?” said Alice, swallowing down her anger as well as she
could.

“No,” said the Caterpillar.

Alice thought she might as well wait, as she had nothing else to do,
and perhaps after all it might tell her something worth hearing. For
some minutes it puffed away without speaking; but at last it unfolded
its arms, took the hookah out of its mouth again, and said, “So you
think you’re changed, do you?”

“Tm afraid I am, sir,” said Alice; ‘I can’t remember things as I
used — and I don’t keep the same size for ten minutes together!”

‘““Can’t remember what things?” said the Caterpillar.






ALICE’'§ ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

“Well, I’ve tried to say, ‘ How doth the little busy bee,’ but it all

came different!” Alice replied in a very melancholy voice.
‘Repeat ‘ You are old, Father Willianz,’” said the Caterpillar.

Alice folded her.hands, and began : —

“*Vou are old, Father William,’ the young man said,

‘And your hair has become very white ;
And yet you incessantly stand on your head—
Do you think, at your age, it is right?’

Fes itn,



Wiggs :

FATHER WILLIAM STANDS ON HIS HEAD.

‘In my youth,’ Father William replied to his son,
‘I feared it might injure the brain;

But now that I’m perfectly sure I have none,
Why, I do it again and again.’

“You are old,’ said the youth, ‘as I mentioned before,
And have grown most uncommonly fat;

Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door —
Pray, what is the reason of that?’

‘In my youth,’ said the sage, as he shook his Bray, locks,
‘I kept all my limbs very supple

By the use of this ointment — one shilling the box —_
Allow me to sell you a couple.’
ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR.

Lz
LL ogee,
Megs

LN
LL ILe,
LULL.



FATHER WILLIAM TURNS A SOMERSAULT.

‘You are old,’ said the youth, ‘and your jaws are too weak
For anything tougher than suet ;

Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak:
Pray, how did you manage to do it?’



FATHER WILLIAM FINISHES THE GOOSE,.

41
42 ALICE’S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

‘In my youth,’ said his father, ‘I took to the law,
And argued each case with my wife’;

And the muscular strength which it gave to my jaw,
Has lasted the rest of imy life.’

‘You are old,’ said the youth; ‘one would hardly suppose

That your eye was as steady as ever; .
Yet you balance an eel on the end of your nose —

What made you so awfully clever?’



ty Se ad



4 AMuniGer

FATHER WILLIAM BALANCES THE EEL,

‘I have answered three questions, and that is enough,’ '
Said his father; ‘don’t give yourself airs;

Do you think I can listen all day to. such stuff?
Be off, or I’ll kick you down stairs!’”

“That is not said right,” said the Caterpillar. .

‘Not guzte right, I’m afraid,” said Alice timidly; ‘‘some of the
words have got altered.”

“It is wrong from beginning to end,” said the Caterpillar decidedly ;
and there was silence for some minutes.

The Catetpillar was the first to speak.

‘What size do you want to be?” it asked.
ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR. . L 43

“Oh, I'm not particular as to size,” Alice hastily replied; “ only one
doesn’t like changing so often, you know.”

“J donw't know,” said the Caterpillar.

_ Alice said nothing ; she had never been so much contradicted in all
her life before, and she felt that she was losing her temper.

“ Are you content now?” said the Caterpillar.

“Well, I should like to be a /z##le larger, sir, if you wouldn’t mind,”
said Alice: ‘‘ three inches is such a wretched height to be.”

“Tt is a very good height indeed!” said the Caterpillar angrily,
rearing itself upright as it spoke (it was exactly three inches high).

“But ’m not used to it!” pleaded poor Alice in a piteous tone.
And she thought to herself, “I wish the creatures wouldn’t be. so
easily offended!”

‘You'll get used to it in time,” said the Caterpillar; and it put the
hookah into its mouth and began smoking again.

This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak again. In
a minute or two the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth, and
yawned once or twice, and shook itself. Then it got down off the
mushroom, and crawled away into the grass, merely remarking as it
went, “One side will make you grow taller, and the other side will
make you grow shorter.”

‘One side of what? The other side of what?” thought Alice to
herself. ;

‘‘Of the mushroom,” said the Caterpillar, just as if she asked it
aloud ; and in another moment it was out of sight.

Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a minute,
trying to make out which were the two sides of it; and as it was per-
fectly round, she found this a very difficult question. However, at last
she stretched her arms round it as far as they would go, and broke off
a bit of the edge with each hand. .

“And now which is which?” she said to herself, and nibbled a
little of the right-hand bit to try the effect: the next moment she felt
a violent blow underneath her chin; it had struck her foot!

e
44 _ ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

She was a good deal frightened by this very sudden change, but
she felt that there was no time to be lost, as she was shrinking rapidly;
so she set to work at once to eat some of the other bit. Her chin was
pressed so closely against her foot that there was hardly room to open
her mouth; but she did it at last, and managed to swallow a morsel of
the left-hand bit.

* * * * ke

* * * * &

‘Come, my head’s free at last!” said Alice in a tone of delight,
which changed into alarm in another moment, when she found that
her shoulders were nowhere to be found; all she could’ see, when she
looked down, was an immense length of neck, which seemed to rise
like a stalk out of a sea of green leaves that lay far below her.

‘What caz all that green stuff be?” said Alice. ‘* And where have
my shoulders got to? And oh, my poor hands, how is it I can’t see
you?” She was moving them about as she spoke, but no result seemed
to follow, except a little shaking among the distant green leaves.

As there seemed to be no chance of getting her hands up to her
head, she tried to get her head’ down to them, and was delighted to
find that her neck would bend about easily in-any direction, like a
serpent. She had,just succeeded in curving it down into a graceful
zigzag, and was going to dive in among the leaves, which she found to
be nothing but the tops of the trees under which she had been wander-
ing, when a sharp hiss made her draw back ina hurry. A large pigeon
had flown into her face, and was beating her violently with its wings.

“Serpent!” screamed the Pigeon.

“Tm zo¢ a serpent!” said Alice indignantly. ‘“ Let me alone!”

‘‘ Serpent, I say again!” repeated the Pigeon, but in a more sub-
dued tone, and added with a kind of sob, “I’ve tried every way, and
nothing seems to suit them! ”

“I haven’t the least idea what you're talking about,” said Alice.
ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR. - 7 45

“T’ve tried the roots of trees, and I’ve tried banks, and I’ve tried
hedges,” the Pigeon went on, without attending to her; ‘but those
serpents! There's no pleasing them!”

‘Alice was more and more puzzled, but she thought there was no
use in saying anything more till the Pigeon had finished.

“As if it wasn’t trouble enough hatching the eggs,” said the
Pigeon, “but I must be on the lookout for serpents night and day!
Why, I haven’t had a wink of sleep these three weeks!”

‘“['m very sorry you’ve been annoyed,” said Alice, who was be-
ginning to see its meaning.

‘“And just as I'd taken the highest tree in the wood,” continued
the Pigeon, raising its voice to a shriek, ‘“‘ and just as I was thinking I]
should be free of them at-last, they must needs come wriggling down
from the sky! Ugh! Serpent!”

‘But I’m zo¢ a serpent, I tell you!” said Alice, “I’m a—I’m a” —

“Well, what are you?” said the Pigeon. ‘I can see you're try-
ing to invent something!”

‘““T—Tm a little girl,” said Alice rather doubtfully, as she remem-
bered the number of changes she had gone through that day.

‘A likely story indeed!” said the Pigeon in a tone of the deepest
contempt.. ‘I’ve seen a good many little girls in my time, but never
one with such a neck as that! No, no! You're a serpent; and
there’s no use denying it. I suppose you'll be telling me next that
-you never tasted an egg!”

‘“T have tasted eggs, certainly,” said Alice, who was a very truthful
child ; “ but little girls eat eggs quite as much as serpents do, you know.”

‘“ T don’t believe it,” said the Pigeon; “but if they do, why then
they're a kind of serpent, that’s all I can say.”

This was such a new idea to Alice, that she was quite silent for a
minute or two, which gave the Pigeon the opportunity of adding,
‘You're looking. for eggs, I know ¢ha¢ well enough; and what does it
matter to me whether youre a little girl or a serpent?”

~“Tt matters a good deal to me,” said Alice hastily; “but I’m not
46 ALICE’S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

looking for eggs, as it papper ; and if I was, I shouldn’t want yours ;
I don’t like them raw.’

“Well, be off, then!” said the ek in a sulky tone, as it settled
down again into its nest. Alice crouched down among the trees as
well as she could, for her neck kept getting entangled among the
branches, and every now and then she had to stop and untwist it.
After a while she remembered that she still held the pieces of mush-
room in her hands, and she set to work very carefully, nibbling first at
one and then at the other, and growing sometimes taller and some-
times shorter, until she had succeeded in bringing herself down to her
usual height.

It was so long since she had been anything near the right size,
that it felt quite strange at first; but she got used to it in a few min-
utes, and began talking to herself as usual. ‘Come, there’s half my
plan done now! How puzzling all these changes are! I’m never
sure what I’m going to be, from one minute to another! However,
I’ve got back to. my right size; the next thing is, to get into that
beautiful garden — how zs that to be done, I wonder?” As she said
this, she came suddenly upon an open place, with a little house in it
about four feet high. ‘ Whoever lives there,” thought Alice, ‘it ‘ll
never do to come upon them ¢hzs size; why, 1 should frighten them
out of their wits!”» So she began nibbling at the right-hand bit again,
and did not venture to go near the house till she had brought herself
down to nine inches high.
PIG AND PEPPER, 47

CHAPTER VI.
PIG AND PEPPER.

For a minute or two she stood looking at the house, and wonder-
ing what to do next, when suddenly a footman in livery came running
out of the wood (she con-
sidered him to be a foot- § 7 HR



man because he was in
livery ; otherwise, judging
by his face only, she would
have called hima fish), and
rapped loudly at the door
with his knuckles. It was
opened by another footman
in livery, with a round face
and large eyes, like a frog;
and both footmen, Alice no-
ticed, had powdered hair,
that curled all over their
heads. She felt very curi-
ous to know what it was all 2
about, and crept a little way ; ; Zi” Ur a Non ron
out of the-wood to listen. . , (LP Biches rac CE Vn,
The Fish-Footman be-
gan by producing from un-



“FOR THE DUCHESS.”

der his arm a great letter, nearly as large as himself, and this he handed
over to the other, saying in a solemn tone, “ For the Duchess. An in-
vitation from the Queen to play croquet.” The Frog-Footman repeated


48 ALICE’S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

in the same solemn tone, only changing the order of the words a little,
‘From the Queen. An invitation for the Duchess to play croquet.”

Then they both bowed low, and their curls got entangled together.

Alice laughed so much at this that she had to run back into the
wood for fear of their hearing her; and when she next peeped out, the
Fish-Footman was gone, and the other was sitting on the ground near
the door, staring stupidly up into the sky.

Alice went timidly up to the door, and knocked.

““There’s no sort of use in knocking,” said the Footman, “and |
that for two reasons. First, because I’m on the same side of the door
as you are; secondly, because they’re making such a noise inside no
one could possibly hear you.” And certainly there was a most extra-
ordinary noise going on within,—a.constant howling and sneezing,
and every now and then a great crash, as if a dish or kettle had
been broken to pieces.

‘Please, then,” said Alice, ‘how am I to get in?”

“There might be some sense in your knocking,” the Footman went
on, without attending to her, “if we ‘had the door between us. For
instance, if you were zzszde, you might knock, and I could let you out,
you know.” He was looking up into the sky all the time he was
. speaking, and this Alice thought decidedly uncivil. ‘ But perhaps he
can’t help it,” she said to herself; “his eyes are so very nearly at the
top of his head. But at any rate he might answer questions. ‘“ How
am I to get in?” she repeated aloud.

‘‘T shall sit here,” the Footman remarked, “ till to-morrow ” —

At this moment the door of the house opened, and a large plate
came skimming out, straight at the Footman’s head ; it just grazed his
nose, and broke to pieces against one of the trees behind him.

‘or next day, maybe,” the Footman continued in the same tone,
exactly as if nothing had happened.

‘How am I to get in?” Alice asked again in a louder tone.

‘“‘ Are you to get in at:all?” said the Footman. ‘That’s the first
question, you know.”
PIG AND PEPPER. 49

It was, no doubt ; only Alice did not like to be told so. « It’s really
dreadful,’ she muttered to herself, “ the way all the creatures argue.
It’s enough to drive one crazy!”

The Footman seemed to think this a good opportunity for repeating
his remark with variations. ‘I shall sit here,” he said, ‘‘on and off,
for days and days.”

“ But what am Z
to do?” said Alice.

“Anything you
like,” said the Foot-
man, and the began
whistling.

‘‘Oh, there’s no
use in talking to
him,” said Alice des-
perately; “he’s per-
fectly idiotic!” And
she opened the door
and went in.

It led right intoa



large kitchen, which

“pig!” SAID THE DUCHESS.

was full of smoke

from one end to the other; the Duchess was sitting ona three-legged
stool in the middle, nursing a baby; the cook was leaning over the
fire, stirring a large caldron which seemed to be full-of soup.

“There's certainly too much pepper in that soup!” Alice said to
herself, as well as she could for sneezing.

There was certainly too much of it in the air. Even the Duchess
sneezed occasionally ; and as for the baby, it was sneezing and howling
alternately without a moment’s pause. The only two creatures in the
kitchen that did not sneeze were the cook, and a large cat which was
sitting on the hearth and grinning from ear to ear.

“Please, would you tell me,” said Alice a little timidly, for she was
50 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

not quite sure whether it was good manners for her to speak first, “ why
your cat grins like that ?”

“It’s a Cheshire cat,” said the Duchess, “and that’s why. Pig!”

She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice quite
jumped ; but she saw in another moment that it was addressed to the
baby, and not to her, so she took courage, and went on again, —

‘©T didn’t know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I didn’t
know that cats could grin.”

“ They all can,” said the Duchess; “and most of ’em do.”

“TJ don’t know of any that do,” Alice said very politely, feeling quite
pleased to have got into a conversation.

“You don’t know much,” said the Duchess ; ‘and that’s a fact.”

Alice did not at all like the tone of this remark, and thought it
would be as well to introduce some other subject of conversation. While
she was trying to fix on one, the cook took the caldron of soup off the
fire, and at once set to work throwing everything within her reach at
the Duchess and the baby; the fire-irons came first; then followed a
shower of saucepans, plates, and dishes. The Duchess took no notice
of them, even when they hit her; and the baby was howling so much
already that it was quite impossible to say whether the blows hurt it or
not. .

“ Oh, please mind what you are doing!” cried Alice, jumping up and
down in an agony of terror. ‘Oh, there goes his Jreczous nose!” as
an unusually large saucepan flew close by it, and very nearly carried it off.

“Tf everybody minded their own business,” said the Duchess in a
hoarse growl, ‘the world would go round a deal faster than it does.”

“Which would zo¢t be an advantage,” said Alice, who felt very glad
to get an opportunity of showing off a little of her knowledge. “ Just
think what work it would make with the day and night! You see the
earth takes twenty-four hours to turn round on its axis” —

“Talking of axes,” said the Duchess, “ chop off her head!”

Alice glanced rather anxiously at the cook, to see if she meant to
take the hint; but the cook was busily stirring the soup, and seemed
PIG AND PEPPER. 51

not to be listening, so she went on again, ‘Twenty-four hours I
think; or is it twelve ?— [”

“Oh, don’t bother me,” said the Duchess; “I never could abide
figures.” And with that she began nursing her child again, singing
a sort of lullaby to it as she did so, and giving it a violent shake at the
end of every line : —

“Speak roughly to your little boy,
And beat him when he sneezes;
He only does it to annoy,
Because he knows it teases.”

Cuorus (in which the cook and the baby joined).— “Wow! wow! wow!”

While the Duchess sang the second verse of the song, she kept
tossing. the baby violently up and down, and the poor little thing
howled so that Alice could hardly hear the words : —
“I speak severely to my boy,
I beat him when he sneezes ;

For he can thoroughly enjoy
The pepper when he pleases!”

Cuorus. — “ Wow! wow! wow!”

“Here! you may nurse it a bit, if you like!” said the Duchess to
Alice, flinging the baby at her as she spoke. “I must go and get
ready to play croquet with the Queen;” and she hurried out of the
room. ‘The cook threw a frying-pan after her as she went, but it just
~ missed her.

Alice caught the baby with some difficulty, as it was a queer-shaped
little creature, and held out its arms and legs in all directions, “ just
like a star-fish,” thought Alice. The poor little thing was snorting like
a steam-engine when she caught it, and kept doubling itself up and
straightening itself out again, so that altogether, for the first minute or
two, it was as much as she could do to hold it.

As soon as she had made out the proper way of nursing it (which
was to twist it up into a sort of knot, and then keep tight hold of its
52 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

right ear and left foot, so as to prevent its undoing itself), she carried
it out into the open air. ‘If I don’t take this child away with me,”
thought Alice, ‘‘ they’re sure to kill it in a day or two. Wouldn't it be
murder to leave it behind?” She said the last words out loud, and
the little thing grunted in reply (it had left off sneezing by this time).
“ Don’t grunt,” said Alice ; ‘that’s not at all a proper way of express-
ing yourself.”
The baby grunted again, and Alice looked very anxiously into its
face to see what was the matter with it. There could be
ss no doubt that it had a very turn-up nose, much more
like a snout than a real nose; also its eyes were
getting extremely small for a baby. Altogether,
. Alice did not like the look of the thing
at all. ‘But perhaps it was only sob-





bing,” she thought, and looked into its
eyes again to see if there were any tears.

No, there were no tears. ‘If you’re
going to turn into a pig, my dear,” said
Alice seriously, “I'll have nothing more
to do with you. Mind now!” The poor
little thing sobbed again (or grunted, it
was impossible to say which), and they
went on for some while in silence.

THE BABY GRUNTED AGAIN.

Alice was just beginning to think to
herself, “‘ Now, what am I to do with this creature when I get it
home?” when it grunted again, so violently that she looked down
into its face in some alarm. This time there could be zo mistake about
it; it was neither more nor less than a pig, and she felt that it would
be quite absurd for her to carry it any farther.

So she set the little creature down, and felt quite relieved to see it
trot away quietly into the wood. ‘If it had grown up,” she said to
herself, “it would have been a dreadfully ugly child; but it makes
rather a handsome pig, I think.” And she began thinking over other

s
PIG AND PEPPER. 53

children she knew, who might do very well as pigs, and was just saying
to herself, “ If one only knew the right way to change them ” — when
she was a little startled by seeing the Cheshire Cat sitting on a bough
of a tree a few yards off.

The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice. It looked good-natured,
she thought ; still, it had very long claws, and a great many teeth, so
she felt it ought to be treated with respect.

‘Cheshire Puss,” she began, rather timidly, as she did not at all
know whether it would like the name; however, it only grinned a lit-
tle wider. ‘‘ Come, it’s pleased so far,” thought Alice, and she went on,
‘Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to walk from here?”

“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,”. said
the Cat. |

“JT don’t much care where” — all Alice.

es ae it doesn’t matter which way you walk,” said ne Cat.

“so long as I get somewhere,” Alice added as an explanation.

‘“Oh, you’re sure to do that,” said the Cat, “if you only walk
long enough.”

Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried another
question. ‘What sort of people live about here?”

“In ¢hat direction,” the Cat said, waving its right paw round,
“lives a Hatter; and in ¢hat direction,’ waving the other paw,
“lives a March Hare. Visit either you like; they're both mad.”

“But I don’t want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked.

“Oh, you can’t help that,” said the Cat; “we're all mad here.
I’m mad. You're mad.”

“How do you know I’m mad?” said Alice.

“You must be,” said the Cat, “or you wouldn’t have come here.”

Alice didn’t think that proved it at all; however, she went on;
‘and how do you know that you’re mad?”

“To begin with,” said the Cat, ‘‘a dog’s not mad. You grant -
that?”

‘‘T suppose so,” said Alice.
54 ALICE’S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

“Well, then,” the Cat went on, “you see, a dog growls when it’s
angry, and wags its tail when it’s pleased. Now / growl when I’m
pleased, and wag my tail when I’m angry. Therefore I’m mad.”

“7 call it purr-
ing, not growling,”
said Alice.

“Call it what you
like,” said the Cat.
“Do you play cro-
quet with the Queen
to-day ?”

“JT should like
it very much,” said
Alice, ‘‘ but I haven't
been invited yet.”

“ You'll see me there,” said the Cat, and




vanished.
Alice was not much surprised at this, she

was getting so well used to queer things hap-
pening. While she was still looking at the
place where it had been, it suddenly appeared
again.

« By-the-by, what became of the baby?”
said the Cat, “I’d nearly forgotten to ask.”

“Tt turned into a pig,” Alice answered very
quietly, just as if the Cat had come back in a
natural way.

“T thought it would,” said the Cat, and van-

THE CAT GRINNED,

ished again.

Alice waited a little, half expecting to see it again, but it did not
appear; and after a minute or two she walked on in the direction in
which the March Hare was said to live. ‘I’ve seen Hatters before,”
she said to herself; “the March Hare will be much the most inte-
PIG AND PEPPER. 55

resting, and perhaps as this is May it won’t be raving mad —at least,
not so mad as it was in'March.” As she said this, she looked up, and
there was the Cat again, sitting on a branch of a tree.

“Did you say pig, or fig ?”’ said the Cat.

“T said pig,” replied Alice; ‘‘and I wish you wouldn’t keep ap-
pearing and vanishing so suddenly ; you make one quite giddy.”

“« All right,” said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite slowly,
beginning with the
end of the tail, and
ending with the grin,
which remained some
time after the rest of
it had gone.

“Well, I’ve often
seen acat without a
grin,” thought Alice;
‘but a grin without
acat! It’s the most
curious thing I ever



- “yOU’LL SEE ME THERE,” SAID THE CAT.

(322

saw in all my life

She had not gone much farther before she came in sight of the |
house of the March Hare. She thought it must be the right house,
because the chimneys were shaped like ears, and the roof was thatched
with fur. It was so large a house that she did not like to go nearer
till she had nibbled some more of the left-hand bit of mushroom, and
raised herself to about two feet high; even then she walked up to-
ward it rather timidly, saying to herself, “Suppose it should be raving
mad after all; I almost wish I’d gone to see the Hatter instead.”




56 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

CHAPTER VII.
A MAD TEA—PARTY.

THERE was a table set out under a tree in front of the house, and
the March Hare and the Hatter were having tea at it. A dormouse
was sitting between
them, fast asleep,
and the other two
were using it as a
cushion, resting
their elbows on it,
and talking over its
head. ‘Very un-
comfortable for the



Dormouse,” thought

vit | att iy é :

A j (Yiyy y lig 4 Yl: s
E VW il ayy YY Alice ; ‘only as it’s
asleep, I suppose it
doesn’t mind.”

“YOUR HAIR WANTS CUTTING,” SAID THE HATTER. The table was a

large one, but the three were all crowded together at one corner of
it: “No room! No room!” they cried out when they saw Alice ©
-coming. ‘“ There's plenty of room,” said Alice indignantly, and she
sat down in a large armchair at one end of the table.

“Have some wine,” the March Hare said in an encouraging tone.

Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it but
tea. ‘I don’t see any wine,” she remarked.

“There isn’t any,” said the March Hare.

“Then it wasn’t very civil of you to offer it,” said Alice angrily.
A MAD TEA—PARTY. 57

“Tt wasn’t very civil of you to sit down without being invited,”
said the March Hare.

“T didn’t know it was your table,” said Alice; “it’s laid for a
great many more than three.”

‘Your hair wants cutting,” said the Hatter. He had been looking
at Alice for some time with great curiosity, and this was his first speech.

‘You should learn not to make personal remarks,” Alice said with
some severity ; ‘it’s very rude.” r

The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this; but all he
sazd was, ‘“‘ Why is a raven like a writing-desk ?”

“Come, we shall have some fun now!” thought Alice. “I’m glad
they've begun asking riddles. I believe I can guess that,” she added
aloud.

“Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to
it?” said the March Hare.

SSAC EV ESO. said Alice.

- “Then you should say what you mean,” the March Hare went on.

“I do,” Alice hastily replied; “at least—at least I mean what
I say—that’s the same thing, you know.”

“Not the same thing a bit!” said the Hatter. “Why, you might
just as well say that ‘I see what I eat’ is the same thing as ‘I eat
what I see
© Vou might just as well say,” added the March Hare, “that ‘I
like what I get’ is the same thing as ‘I get what I like!’”

“You might just as well say,” added the Dormouse, who seemed
to be talking in his sleep, “that ‘I breathe when I sleep’ is the same

ane.

ieee

thing as ‘I sleep when I breathe

“Tt zs the same thing with you,” said the Hatter; and here the
conversation dropped, and the party sat silent for a minute, while Alice
thought over all she could remember about ravens and writing-desks.
which wasn’t much.

The Hatter was the first to break the silence.

‘What day of the month is it?” he said, turning to Alice. He
58 ALICE’S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

had taken his watch out of his pocket, and was looking at it uneasily,
shaking it every now and then, and holding it to his ear.

Alice considered a little, and said, ‘‘ the fourth.”

“Two days wrong!” sighed the Hatter. ‘I told you butter would
not suit the works!” he added, looking angrily at the March Hare.

“Tt was the dest butter,” the March Hare meekly replied.

‘“Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well,” the Hatter
grumbled; “you shouldn’t have put it in with the bread-knife.”

The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily ; then he
dipped it into his cup of tea, and looked at it again; but he could think
of nothing better to say than his first remark, ‘ It was the des¢ butter,
you know.”

Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity.
“What a funny watch!” she remarked. “It tells the day of the
month, and doesn’t tell what o'clock it is!”

“Why should it?” muttered the Hatter.

“ Does your watch tell you what year it is ?”

‘Of course not,” Alice replied very readily ; ‘ but that’s because it
stays the same year for such a long time together.”

‘Which is just the case with me,” said the Hatter.

Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter’s remark seemed to her
to have no sort of meaning in it, and yet it was certainly English. “I
don’t quite understand you,” she said, as politely as she could.

“The Dormouse is asleep again,” said the Hatter, and he poured a
little hot tea onto its nose.

The Dormouse shook his head impatiently, and said, without open-
ing his eyes, “ Of course ; just what I was going to remark myself.”

“Have you guessed the riddle yet?” the Hatter said, turning to
Alice again.

‘No; I give it up,” Alice replied. ‘‘ What’s the answer?”

‘‘T haven’t the slightest idea,” said the Hatter. .

“ Nor I,” said the March Hare.

Alice sighed wearily. “I think you might do something better
A MAD TEA—PARTY. 59

?

with the time,” she said, “than wasting it in asking riddles that have

no answers.”

“Tf you knew Time as well as I do,” said the Hatter, “you wouldn't
talk about wasting z¢. It’s h7m.”

“T don’t know what you mean,” said Alice.

“Of course you don’t!” the Hatter said, tossing his head contempt-
uously. ‘I dare say you never even spoke to Time!”

“Perhaps not,” Alice cautiously replied; ‘but 1 know I have to
beat time when I learn music.”

«Ah, that accounts for it,’ said the Hatter. ‘He won’t stand
beating. Now, if you only kept on good terms with him, he’d do
almost anything you liked with the clock. For instance, suppose it
were nine o’clock in the morning, just time to begin lessons ; you'd
‘only have to whisper a hint to Time, and round goes the clock in a
twinkling! Half-past one, time for dinner!”

Gat only wish it was,” the March Hare said to itself in a whisper.)

“That would be grand, certainly,” said Alice thoughtfully; ‘but
then —I shouldn’t be hungry for it, you know.”

“Not at first, perhaps,” said the Hatter ;
“but you could keep it to half-past one as
long as you liked.”

“Ts that the way you manage?” Alice
asked.

The Hatter shook his head mournfully.
“Not I,” he replied. ‘We quarrelled last
March —just before fe went mad, you
know” (pointing with his teaspoon at the



March Hare) — ‘‘ it was at the great con-
cert given by the Queen of Hearts, and I

i : HE HATTER SINGS.
had to sing : — THE

“¢Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!
How I wonder what you're at!’

You know the song, perhaps ?”
60 ALICE’S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

“I’ve heard something like it,” said Alice.
“Tt goes on, you know,” the Hatter continued, “in this way : —

““Up above the world you fly,
Like a tea-tray in the sky.
Twinkle, twinkle” —

Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began singing in its sleep,
“ Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle” —and went on so long that they
had to pinch it to make it stop. ae:

‘Well, ?'d hardly finished the first verse,” said the Hatter, “when
the Queen bawled out ‘ He’s murdering the time! Off with his head!’”

‘““How dreadfully savage!” exclaimed Alice.

“And ever since that,” the Hatter went on in a mournful tone,
‘“‘he won't do a thing I ask! It’s always six o'clock now.”

A bright idea came into Alice’s head. ‘Is that the reason so many
tea-things are put out here?” she asked.

“Yes, that’s it,” said the Hatter with a sigh; “ it’s always tea-time,
and we’ve no time to wash the things between whiles.”

“Then you keep moving round, I suppose?” said Alice.

“Exactly so,” said the Hatter; “as the things get used up.”

‘But when you come to the beginning again?” Alice ventured to ask.

‘‘ Suppose we change the subject,” the March Hare interrupted, yawn-
ing. “I’m getting tired of this. I vote the young lady tells us a story.”

“Tm afraid I don’t know one,” said Alice, rather alarmed at the

proposal.

“Then the Dormouse shall!” they both cried. ‘Wake up, Dor-
mouse!” And they pinched it on both sides at once. :

The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes. ‘I wasn’t asleep,” he said in

a hoarse, feeble voice; ‘‘] heard every word you fellows were saying.”
‘Tell us a story!” said the March Hare.
‘Yes, please do!” pleaded Alice.

“And be quick about it,” added the Hatter, ‘or you'll be asleep
again before it’s done.”
A MAD TEA—PARTY. 61

Once upon a time there were three little sisters,” the Dormouse
began in a great hurry, “and their names were Elsie, Lacie, and
Tillie; and they lived at the bottom of a well” —

“What did they live on?” said Alice, who always took a great
interest in questions of eating and drinking.

“They lived on treacle,” said the Dormouse, after thinking a min-
ute or two.

“They couldn’t have done that, you know,” Alice gently remarked;
“they'd have been ill.”

“So they were,” said the Dormouse; “ very ill.”

Alice tried a little to fancy to herself what such an extraordinary
way of living would be like, but it puzzled her too much; so she went
on, “ But why did they live at the bottom of a well?”

“Take some more tea,” the March Hare said to Alice very
earnestly.

“T’ve had nothing yet,” Alice replied in an offended tone “so I
can’t take more.”

“You mean, you can’t take /ess,” said the Hatter ; “it’s very easy to
take more than nothing.”

“Nobody asked your opinion,” said Alice.

““Who’s making personal remarks now?” the Hatter asked trium-
phantly. j

Alice did not quite know what to say to this; so she helped herself
to some tea and bread-and-butter, and then turned to the Dormouse,
and repeated her question. ‘‘ Why did they live at the bottom of a well?”

The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it, and
then said, “It was a treacle-well.”

‘““There’s no such thing!” Alice was beginning very angrily; but
the Hatter and the March Hare went, “Sh! sh!” and the Dormouse
sulkily remarked, “If you can’t be civil, you’d better finish the story
for yourself.”

‘No, please go on!” Alice said very humbly ; “I won’t interrupt
you again. I dare say there may be oxe.”
62 ALICE’S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

“One, indeed!” said the Dormouse indignantly. However, he
consented to go on. ‘And so these three sisters — they were learn-
ing to draw, you know” — .

“What did they draw?” said Alice, quite forgetting her promise.

“Treacle,” said the Dormouse, without considering at all this time.

‘I want a clean cup,” interrupted the Hatter; ‘let’s all move one
place on.”

He moved on as he spoke, and the Dormouse followed him; the
March Hare moved into the Dormouse’s place, and Alice rather un-
willingly took the place of the March Hare. The Hatter was the only
one who got any advantage from the change; and Alice was a good
deal worse off than before, as the March Hare had just upset the milk-
jug into his plate.

Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began
very cautiously, “ But I don’t understand. Where did they draw the
treacle from?”

‘You can draw water out of a water-well,” said the Hatter; “so I
think you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well — eh, stupid ?”

“But they were zz the well,” Alice said to the Dormouse, not
choosing to notice this last remark.

‘‘ Of course they were,” said the Dormouse — “ well in.”

This answer so confused poor Alice that she let the Dormouse go
on for some time without interrupting it.

‘They were learning to draw,” the Dormouse went on, yawning
and rubbing its eyes, for it was getting very sleepy; “and they drew
all manner of things — everything that begins with an M” —

‘Why with an M ?” said Alice.

‘“Why not?” said the March Hare.

Alice was silent.

The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time, and was going off
into a doze; but on being pinched by the Hatter, it woke up again with
a little shriek, and went on, ‘ That begins with an M, such as mouse-
traps and the moon and memory and muchness, — you know you say
A MAD TEA-PARTY. 63

things are ‘much of a muchness,’ — did you ever see such a thing asa
drawing of a muchness ?”

‘Really, now you ask me,” said Alice very much confused, ‘‘I don’t
think”

“Then you shouldn’t talk,” said the Hatter.

This piece of rudeness was more than Alice could bear; she got up
in great disgust, and walked off. The Dormouse fell asleep instantly ;
and neither of the others took
the least notice of her going,
though she looked back once
or twice, half hoping that they
would call after her; the last
time she saw them, they were
trying to put the Dormouse
into the teapot.

“ At any rate, Pl never go
there again!” said Alice as she
picked her way through the
wood.

“It’s the stupidest tea-party
I was ever at in all my life!”

Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had a door
leading right into it. ‘That's very curious!” she thought. “ But every-
thing’s curious to-day. I think I may as well go in at once.” And



INTO THE TEA-POT.

in she went.

Once more she found herself in a long hall, and close to the little
glass table. ‘‘ Now, I'll manage better this time,” she said to herself,
and began by taking the little golden key, and unlocking the door that
led into the garden. Then she set to work nibbling at the mushroom
(she had kept a piece of it in her pocket) till she was about a foot
high ; then she walked down the little passage ; hen — she found herself
at last in a beautiful garden, among the bright flower-beds and the cool
fountains.
64 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

CHAPTER VIII.
THE QUEEN’S Groowe eS.

A LARGE rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden ; the roses
growing on it were white, but there were three gardeners at it, busily
painting them red. Alice thought this a
very curious thing, and she went nearer
to watch them ; and just as she came
up to them she heard one of them say,
“ Look out now, Five! Don’t go splash-
ing paint over me like that! ”

“TI couldn’t help it,” said Five ina
sulky tone; ‘“ Seven jogged my elbow.”

On which Seven looked up and said,
“That’s right, Five! Always lay the
biame on others!”

“ Youd better not talk! said Five.
“I heard the Queen say only yesterday
you deserved to be beheaded.”

Vy7e “What for?” said the one who had
THE QUEEN’S GARDENERS.



FZ (LS T-

spoken first.

“That’s none of your business, Two!” said Seven.

“Yes, it zs his business!” said Five, “and I'll tell him; it was for
bringing the cook tulip-roots instead of onions.”

~ Seven flung down the brush, and had just begun, “ Well, of all the

unjust things” — when his eye chanced to fall upon Alice, as she stood
watching them, and he checked himself suddenly ; the others looked
round also, and all of them bowed low.

THE QUEEN’S CROQUET—GROUND. 65

“Would you tell me, please,” said Alice a little timidly, “why you
are painting those roses?” |

Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two. Two began, in
a low voice, ‘“‘ Why, the fact is, you see, miss, this here ought to have
been a ved rose-tree, and we put a white one in by mistake, and if the
Queen was to find it out, we should all have our heads cut off, you
know. So you see, miss, we’re doing our best, afore she comes, to” —
At this moment Five, who had been anxiously looking across the gar-
den, called out, ‘‘ The Queen! The Queen!” and the three gardeners
instantly threw themselves flat upon their faces. There was a sound
of many footsteps, and Alice looked round, eager to see the Queen.

First came ten soldiers carrying clubs; these were all shaped like
the three gardeners, oblong and flat, with their hands and feet at the
corners; next, the ten courtiers ; these were ornamentéd all over with
diamonds, and walked two and two, as the soldiers did. After these
came the royal children; there were ten of them, and the little dears
came jumping merrily along hand in hand, in couples; they were all
ornamented with hearts. Next came the guests, mostly Kings and
Queens, and among them Alice recognized the White Rabbit ; it was
talking in a hurried, nervous manner, smiling at everything that was
said, and went by without noticing her. Then followed the Knave of
Hearts, carrying the King’s crown on a crimson velvet cushion; and
last of all this grand procession came THE KING AND QUEEN
OF HEARTS.

Alice was rather doubtful whether she ought not to lie down on her
face, like the three gardeners, but she could not remember ever having
heard of such a rule at processions ; “and besides, what would be the
use of a procession,” she thought, “if people had all to lie down on
their faces, so that they couldn’t see it?” So she stood where she was
and waited.

When the procession came opposite to Alice, they all stopped and
looked at her, and the Queen said severely, “Who is this?” She
said it to the Knave of Hearts, who only bowed and smiled in reply.
66 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

‘‘Tdiot,” said the Queen, tossing her head impatiently; and turn-
ing to Alice, she went on, ‘‘ What’s your name, child ?”

“My name is Alice, so please your majesty,” said Alice very po-

litely ; but she added to herself, “‘ Why, they're only a pack of cards,
after all. I needn’t be afraid of them.’

‘‘And who are ¢hese ?” said the Queen, pointing to the three gar-
deners who were lying round the rose-tree ; for you see, as they were
lying on their faces, and the pattern on their backs was the same as the
rest of the pack, she could not tell whether they were gardeners, or
soldiers, or courtiers, or three of her own children.

“ How should 7 nO: >” said Alice, surprised at her own courage.
“It’s no business of wzzne.’

The Queen turned crimson with fury, and after glaring at‘her for a
moment like a wild beast, began screaming, ‘‘ Off with her head! Off” —

“ Nonsense!” said Alice very loudly and decidedly, and the Queen
was silent. |

The King laid his hand upon her arm, and timidly said, “ Consider,
my dear, she is only a child!”

The Queen turned angrily away from him; and said to the Knave,
“Turn them over!”

The Knave did so, very carefully, with one foot.

“Get up!” said the Queen in a shrill, loud voice; and the three
gardeners instantly jumped up, and began bowing to the King, the
Queen, the royal children, and everybody else.

“ Leave off that!” screamed the Queen. ‘“ You make me giddy.”
And then, turning to the rose-tree, she went on, ‘What have you been
doing here?”

“May it please your majesty,” said Two, in a very humble tone,
_ going down on one knee as he spoke, “ we were trying ” —

‘““Z see!” said the Queen, who had meanwhile been examining
the roses. “Off with their heads!” and the procession moved on,
three of the soldiers remaining behind to execute the unfortunate
gardeners, who ran to Alice for protection.
THE QUEEN’S CROQUET--GROUND. 67

“You sha’n’t be beheaded!” said-Alice, and she put them -nto a
large flower-pot that stood near. The three soldiers wandered about
for a minute or two, looking for them, and then quietly marched off
after the others.

‘‘ Are their heads off?” shouted the Queen.

“Their heads are gone, if it please your majesty!” the soldiers
shouted in reply.

“ That’s right!” shouted the Queen. “Can you play croquet ?”

The soldiers were silent, and looked at Alice, as the question was
evidently meant for her.

“Yes!” shouted Alice.

‘“Come on, then!” roared the Queen; and Alice joined the pro-
cession, wondering very much what would happen next.

‘“Tt’s a very fine day!” said a timid voice at her side. She was
walking by the White Rabbit, who was peeping anxiously into her face.

“Very,” said Alice ; ‘‘ where’s the Duchess?”

“Hush! Hush!” said the Rabbit in a low, hurried tone. He
looked anxiously over his shoulder as he spoke, and then raised him-
self up on tiptoe, put his mouth close to her ear, and whispered,
‘““She’s under sentence of execution.”

“What for?” said Alice.

** Did you say, ‘What a pity!’ ” the Rabbit asked.

‘No, I didn’t,” said Alice ; “1 don’t think it’s at alla pity. I said,
“What for?” ”

‘She boxed the Queen’s ears” — the Rabbit began. Alice gave
a little scream of laughter. ‘“ Oh, hush!” the Rabbit whispered in a
frightened tone. ‘The Queen will hear you! You see she came
rather late, and the Queen said” —

‘‘Get to your places!” shouted the Queen in a voice of thunder;
and people began running about in all directions, tumbling up against
each other ; however, they got settled down in a minute or two, and
the game began. pe

Alice thought she had never seen such a curious croquet-ground in
68 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

her life ; it was all ridges and furrows; the croquet-balls were live hedge
hogs, and the mallets live flamingoes, and the soldiers had to double
themselves up, and stand on their hands and feet, to make the arches.
The chief diffi-
culty Alice found at
first was in mana-
ging her flamingo.
She succeeded -in
getting its body
tucked away, com-
fortably enough, un-
der her arm, with its
legs hanging down;
but generally, just
as she had got its
iy neck nicely straight-
ES ened out, and was
going to give the
hedgehog a blow
with its head, it
would twist itself
round, and look up
into her face, with



SKE 2 Le La = | such a puzzled ex-
pression that she
could not help burst-
ing out laughing; and when she had got its head down, and was
going to begin again, it was very provoking to find that the hedgehog
had unrolled itself, and was in the act of crawling away. Besides all
this, there was generally a ridge or a furrow in the way wherever she
wanted to send the hedgehog to; and as the doubled-up soldiers were
always getting up and walking off to other parts of the ground, Alice
soon came to the conclusion that it was a very difficult game indeed.

“OFF WITH HER HEAD!” SCREAMED THE QUEEN.
THE QUEEN’S CROQUET—GROUND. 69

The players all played at once without waiting for turns, quarrelling
all the while, and fighting for the hedgehogs ; and in a very short time
the Queen was in a furious passion, and went stamping about, and
shouting, ‘“ Off with his head!” or, “ Off with her head!” about once
in a minute.

Alice began to feel very uneasy. To be sure, she had not as yet
had any dispute with thé Queen, but she knew that it might happen
any minute; ‘and then,” thought she, “what would become of me?
They're dreadfully fond of beheading people here; the great wonder
is that there’s any one left alive!”

She was looking about for some way of escape, and wondering
whether she could get away without being seen, when she noticed a
curious appearance in the air. It puzzled her very much at first; but
after watching it a minute or two she made it out to be a grin, and she
said to herself, “It’s the Cheshire Cat; now I shall have somebody to
tall aatone

“How are you getting on?” said the Cat, as soon as there was
mouth enough for it to speak with.

Alice waited till the eyes appeared, and then nodded. “It’s no
use speaking to it,” she thought, “till its ears have come, or at least
one of them.” In another minute the whole head appeared; and then
Alice put down her flamingo, and began an account of the game, feeling
very glad she had some one to listen to her. The Cat seemed to think
that there was enough of it now in sight, and no more of it appeared.

“T don’t think they play at all fairly,” Alice began, in rather a com-
plaining tone; ‘and they all quarrel so dreadfully one can’t hear one’s
self speak—and they don’t seem to have any rules in particular; at
_ least, if there are, nobody attends to them —and you've no idea how
confusing it is all the things being alive; for instance, there’s the arch
I’ve got to go through next walking about at the other end of the
ground; and I should have croqueted the Queen’s hedgehog just now,
only it ran away when it saw mine coming!”

‘‘ How do you like the Queen ?” said the Cat in a low voice.
ee See





7O ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

“Not at all,” said Alice; “she’s so extremely” — Just then she
noticed that the Queen was close behind her, listening; so she went
on, ‘likely to win, that it’s hardly worth while finishing the game.”

The Queen smiled and passed on.

“Who are you talking to?” said the King, coming up to Alice,
and looking at, the Cat’s head with great
curiosity.

“It’s a friend of mine—a Cheshire
Cat,” said Alice; ‘allow me to introduce:
ity

‘“T don’t like the look of it at all,” said
the King; “it may kiss my hand if it
likes.”

“Td rather not,” the Cat remarked.

‘Don’t be impertinent,” said the King;
‘and don’t look at me like that!” He
got behind Alice as he spoke.

“A cat may look at a king,” said



Alice. “I’ve read that in some book,

THE MALLETS WERE LIVE FLAMINGOES.

but I don’t remember where.”

“Well, it must be removed,” said the King very decidedly ; and he
called to the Queen, who was passing at the moment, ‘My dear! I
wish you would have this Cat removed!”

. The Queen had only one way of settling all difficulties, great
or small. “Off with his head!” she said, without even looking
round, 5

“Tl fetch the executioner myself,” said the King eagerly, and he
hurried off.

Alice’ thought she might as well go back and see how the game
was going on, as she heard the Queen’s voice in the distance, scream-
ing with passion. She had already heard her sentence three of the
players to be executed for having missed their turns; and she did not
like the look of things at all, as the game was in such confusion that
THE QUEEN’S CROQUET—GROUND. wt

she never knew whether it was her turn or not. So she went off in
search of her hedgehog.

The hedgehog was engaged ina fight with another hedgehog, which
seemed to Alice an excellent opportunity for croqueting one of them
with the other; the only difficulty was that her flamingo was gone
across to the other side of the garden, where Alice could see it trying
in a helpless sort of way to fly up into a tree..

By the time she had caught the flamingo and brought it back, the
fight was over, and both the hedgehogs were out of sight; ‘but it
doesn’t matter much,” thought Alice, “as all the arches are gone from
this side of the ground.”
So she tucked it away under

her arm, that it might not.
escape again, and went back
to have a little more conver-
sation with her friend.

When she got back to
the Cheshire Cat, she was
surprised to find quite a





large crowd collected round
it; there was a dispute go-
ing on between the execu-
tioner, the King, and the
Queen, who were all talk-
ing at once, while all the
rest were quite silent, and



looked very uncomfortable. -
The moment Alice ap-



peared she was appealed to
by all three to settle the
question; and they repeated their arguments to her, though, as they
all spoke at once, she found it very hard to make out exactly what

“THEY WERE ALL TALKING AT ONCE.”

they said.






72 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

The executioner’s argument was, that you couldn’t cut off a head
unless there was a body to cut it off from; that he had never had to do
such a thing before, and he wasn’t going to begin at 47s time of life.

he King’s argument was, that anything'that had a head could
be beheaded, and that you weren’t to talk nonsense.

The Queen’s argument was, that if something wasn’t done about
it in less than no time, she’d have everybody executed, all round.
(It was this last remark that had made the whole party look.so grave
and anxious.)

Alice could think of nothing else to say but “It belongs to the
Duchess; you'd better ask er about it.”

‘“‘She’s in prison,” the Queen said to the executioner; ‘“ fetch her
here.” And the executioner went off like an arrow.

The Cat’s head began fading away the moment he was. gone, and
by the time he had come back with the Duchess it had entirely dis-
appeared; so the King and the executioner ran wildly up and down
looking for it, while the rest of the party went back to the game.
THE MOCK TURTLE’S STORY. 73

CHAPTER IX.

THE MOCK TURTLE’S STORY.

“You can’t think how glad I am to see you again, you dear old
thing,” said the Duchess, as she tucked her arm affectionately into

Alice’s, and they walked off together.

Alice was very glad to find her in
such a pleasant temper, and thought
to herself that perhaps it was only the
pepper that had made her so savage
when they met in the kitchen. “When
I’m a Duchess,” she said to herself
(not in a very hopeful tone though),
“JT won’t have any pepper in my kitchen
at all. Soup does very well without.
Maybe it’s always pepper that makes
people hot-tempered,” she went on,
very much pleased at having found out
a new kind of rule, ‘and vinegar that
makes them sour—and camomile that
makes them bitter — and—and barley-
sugar and such things that make chil-



—< & -
SSS = &





———

“you’RE THINKING ABOUT SOMETHING.”

dren sweet-tempered. I only wish people knew ¢hat,; then they »
wouldn’t be so stingy about it, you know” —

She had quite forgotten the Duchess by this time, and was a little
startled when she heard her voice close to her ear. ‘You're think-
ing about something, my dear, and that makes you forget to talk. I
can’t tell you just now what the moral of that is, but I shall remem-

ber it in a bit.”
74 ALICE’S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

‘“Perhaps it hasn’t one,” Alice ventured to remark.

“Tut, tut, child!” said the Duchess. ‘Everything’s got a moral,
if only you can find it.” And she squeezed herself up closer to Alice’s
side as she spoke.

Alice did not much like her keeping so close to her; first, be-
cause the Duchess was very ugly, and secondly, because she was
exactly the right height to rest her chin on Alice’s shoulder, and it was
an uncomfortably sharp chin. However, she did not like to be rude,
so she bore it as well as she could.

“The game’s going on rather better now,” she said by way of
keeping up the conversation a little.

“Tis so,” said the Duchess; “and the moral of that is, ‘Oh, ’tis
love, ’tis love, that makes the world go round!’”

‘Somebody said,” Alice whispered, “that it's done by everybody
minding their own business!”

“Ah, well! It means much the same thing,” said the Duchess,
digging her sharp little chin into Alice’s shoulder, as she added; “and
the moral of ¢hat is, ‘Take care of the sense, and the sounds will
take care of themselves.’”

“ How fond she is of finding morals in things!” Alice thought to
herself. E

“I daresay you’re wondering why I don’t put my arm round your
waist,” said the Duchess aftera pause. ‘‘ The reasons, that I’m doubt-
ful about the temper of your flamingo.. Shall I try the experiment ?”

‘He might bite,” Alice cautiously replied, not feeling at all anxious
to have the experiment tried. :

“Very true,” said the Duchess ; “ flamingoes and mustard both bite.
And the moral of that is, ‘ Birds of a feather flock together.’ ”

‘Only mustard isn’t a bird,” Alice remarked.

“ Right, as usual,” said the Duchess. ‘“‘ What a clear way ycu have
of putting things!”

“It’s a mineral, I ¢hzzk,” said Alice. .

‘Of course it is,” said the Duchess, who seemed ready to agree to
THE MOCK TURTLE’S STORY. 75

everything that Alice said. ‘ There’s a large mustard-mine near here.
And the moral of that is, ‘The more there is of mine, the less there is
of yours.’”

“Oh, I know!” exclaimed Alice, who had not attended to this last
remark ; ‘it’s a vegetable. It doesn’t look like one, but it is.”

9?

“T quite agree with you, said the Duchess. ‘And the moral of
that is, ‘Be what you would seem to be, or, if you'd like it put more
simply, ‘Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it
might appear, to others that what you were or might have been was
not otherwise eo what you had been would have appeared to them
to be otherwise.’

‘““T think I should understand that better,” Alice sajd very politely,
“if Thad it written down; but I can’t quite follow it as you say it.” ,

“That’s nothing to what I could say if I chose,” the Duchess
replied in a pleased tone.

“Pray don’t trouble yourself to say it any longer than that,” said Alice.

“Oh, don’t talk about trouble!” said the Duchess. ‘I make you
a present of everything I’ve said as yet.”

“A cheap sort of present!” thought Alice. “I’m glad they don’t
give birthday presents like that!” But she did not venture to say it
out loud.

“Thinking Peain?” the Duchess asked, with another ‘dig of her
sharp little chin.

“T’ve a right to think,” said Alice sharply, for she was beginning to
feel a little worried. “ Just about as much right,” said the Duchess,
“as pigs have to fly. And the m” —

But here, to Alice’s great surprise, the Duchess’ voice died away,
even in the middle of her favorite word “ moral,” and the arm that was
linked into hers began to tremble. Alice looked up, and there stood
the Queen in front of them, with her arms folded, frowning like a
thunderstorm.

“A fine day, your majesty,” the Duchess began in a low, weak voice.

“Now, I give you fair warning,” shouted the Queen, stamping on




76 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

the ground as she spoke; “either you or your head must be off, and
that in about half no time! Take your choice!”

The Duchess took her choice, and was gone in a moment.

“Let's go on with the game,” the Queen said to Alice; and Alice
was too much frightened to say a word, but slowly followed her back to
the croquet-ground.

The other guests had taken advantage of the Queen’s absence, and
were resting in the shade. However, the moment they saw her they
hurried back to the game, the Queen merely remarking that a moment’s
delay would cost them their lives.

All the time they were playing, the Queen never left off quarrelling
with the other players, and shouting “ Off with his head!” or, “ Off
with her head!”

Those whom she sentenced were taken into custody by the soldiers,

who of course had to leave off being arches to do this, so that by the
end of half an hour

or so there were no
arches left, and all the
players, except the
King, the Queen, and
Alice, were in custody,
and under sentence of
execution.

Then the Queen left
off, quite out of breath,
and she said to Alice,
““ Have you seen the

THEY rane UPON A GRYPHON. Mock Turtle yet ? ”
“No,” said Alice ; ‘I don’t even know what a Mock Turtle is.”
‘It’s the thing Mock Turtle soup is made from,” said the Queen.
“T never saw one, or heard of one,” said Alice.
‘Come on, then,” said the Queen, ‘and he shall tell you his history.”
As they walked off together, Alice heard the King say in a low


THE MOCK TURTLE’S STORY. 77

voice to the company generally, ‘“ You are all pardoned.” —“ Come,
that’s a good thing!” she said to herself, for she had felt quite unhappy
at the number of executions the Queen had ordered.

They very soon came upon a Gryphon, lying fast asleep in the sun.
(If you don’t know what a Gryphon is, look at the picture.) “ Up,
lazy thing!” said the Queen, “and take this young lady to see the
Mock Turtle, and to hear his history. I must go back and see after
some executions I have ordered;” and she walked off, leaving Alice
alone with the Gryphon. Alice did not quite like the look of the crea-
ture, but. on the whole she thought it would be quite as safe to stay
with it as to go after that savage Queen; so she waited.

The Gryphon sat up and rubbed his eyes; then it watched the
Queen till she was out of sight; then it chuckled. ‘ What fun!”
said the Gryphon, half to itself, half to Alice.

“What zs the fun?” said Alice.

“Why, she,” said the Gryphon. ‘It’s all her fancy, that; they
never executes nobody, you know. Come on!”

« Everybody says ‘come on!’ here,” thought Alice, as she went
slowly after it. ‘I never was so ordered about before in all my life ;
never !”’

They had not yone far before they saw the Mock Turtle in the dis-
tance, sitting sad and lonely on a little ledge of rock ; and as they came
nearer, Alice could hear him sighing as if his heart would break. She
pitied him deeply. ‘What is his sorrow?” she asked the Gryphon ;
and the Gryphon answered, very nearly in the same words as before,
“Tt’s all his fancy, that ; he hasn’t got no sorrow, you know. Come on!”

So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who eee at them with ergs
eyes full of tears, but said nothing.

eoiinisenere youne, lady,” said the Cen: ‘“she wants for to know
your history, she do.”

“T’ll tell it her,” said the Mock Turtle in a deep, hollow tone. “ Sit
down both of you, and don’t speak a word till I've finished.”

So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some minutes, Alice
78 ALICE’S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

thought to herself, ‘I don’t see how he can ever finish, if he doesn’t

begin.” But she waited patiently.

“Once,” said the Mock Turtle at last, with a deep sigh, “I was a

real Turtle.”

These words were followed by a very long silence, broken only by
an occasional exclamation of “ Hjckrrh!” from the Gryphon, and the
constant heavy sighing of the Mock Turtle. Alice was very nearly
getting up and saying, “ Thank you, sir, for your interesting story ; ” but
she could not help thinking there mas¢ be more to come, so she sat still



THE MOCK TURTLE TELLS HIS STORY.

~and said nothing.

‘When we were
little,” the Mock Tur-
tle went on at last
more calmly, though
still sobbing a little
now and then, ‘“ we
went to school in the
sea. The master was
an old Turtle — we
used to call him Tor-
toise ” —

‘Why did you call

“him Tortoise, if he

wasn’t one?” Alice
asked.

“We called him
Tortoise because he’
taught us,” said the
Mock Turtle angrily ;
‘really, you are very’

dull!”

“You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking such a simple
question,” added the Gryphon; and then they both sat silent and
THE MOCK TURTLE’S STORY. 79

looked at poor Alice, who felt ready to sink into the earth. At last the
Gryphon said to the Mock Turtle, “ Drive on, old fellow! Don’t be
all day about it!” and he went on in these words : —

‘Yes, we went to school in the sea, though you mayn’t believe it” —

“T never said I didn’t!” interrupted Alice.

“Vou did,” said the Mock Turtle.

‘Hold your tongue!” added the Gryphon, before Alice could speak
again. The Mock Turtle went on.

“We had the best of educations — in fact, we went to school every
day” —

“I’ve been to a day-school too,” said Alice; “you needn’t be so
proud as ail that.”

“ With extras?” asked the Mock Turtle a little anxiously.

“Yes,” said Alice; ‘‘ we learned French and music.”

“And washing?” said the Mock Turtle.

“Certainly not!” said Alice indignantly.

“Ah! then yours wasn’t a really good school,” said the Mock Tur-
tle in a tone of great relief.’ ‘‘ Now at ours they had at the end of the
bill, ‘French, music, axd washing — extra.’”

“You couldn’t have wanted it much,” said Alice; “living at the
bottom of the sea.” ;

“T couldn’t afford to learn it,’ said the Mock Turtle with a sigh.
‘“T only took the regular course.”

“ What was that?” inquired Alice.

‘Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with,” the Mock Turtle
replied; ‘‘and then the different branches of Arithmetic, — Ambition,
Distraction, Uglification, and Derision.” -

“T never heard of ‘ Uglification,’” Alice ventured to say. ‘ What
is it?” |

The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise. ‘‘ Never heard
of uglifying !” itexclaimed. ‘ You know what to beautify is, I suppose?”

“Yes,” said Alice doubtfully ; “it means —to— make — anything
— prettier.”
80 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

‘“Well, then,” the Gryphon went on, “if you don’t know what to
_uglify is, you ave a simpleton.”

Alice did not feel encouraged to ask any more questions about it, so
she turned to the Mock Turtle and said, ‘“‘ What else had you to learn 2” -

“Well, there was Mystery,” the Mock Turtle replied, counting off
the subjects on his flappers — ‘‘ Mystery, ancient and modern, with Sea-
ography ; then Drawling — the Drawling-master was an old conger-eel
that used to come once a week; e taught us Drawling, Stretching,
and Fainting in Coils.”

‘““What was ¢had like?” said Alice.

‘Well, I can’t show it to you myself,” the Mock Turtle said; “I’m
too stiff. And the Gryphon never learned it.”

‘‘Hadn’t time,” said the Gryphon ; ‘I went to the Classical master,
though. He was an old crab, he was.” .

“I never went to him,” the Mock Turtle said with a sigh ; “he
taught Laughing and Grief, they used to say.”

‘So he did, so he did,” said the Gryphon, sighing in his turn; and
both creatures hid their faces in their paws.

‘“ And how many hours a day did you do lessons?” said Alice, in a
hurry to change the subject.

“Ten hours the first day,” said the Mock Turtle ; “ nine the next,
and so on.”

‘“ What a curious plan!” exclaimed Alice.

‘That's the reason they’re called lessons,” the Gryphon remarked ;
‘because they lessen from day to day.”

This was quite a new idea to Alice, and she thought it over a little
before she made her next remark. “Then the eleventh day must have
been a holiday ?”

‘Of course it was,” said the Mock Turtle.

“And how did you manage on the twelfth ?” Alice went on eagerly.

‘That's enough about lessons,” the Gryphon interrupted in a very
decided tone. “Tell her something about the games now.”
THE LOBSTER QUADRILLE. 8I

CHAPTER X.

THE LOBSTER QUADRILLE.

Tue Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and drew the back of one flapper
-across his eyes. He looked at Alice and tried to speak, but for a min-,

ute or two sobs. choked his
voice. ‘Same as if he had a
bone in his throat,” said the
Gryphon; and it set to work
shaking him and punching him
in the back. At last the Mock
Turtle recovered his voice, and,
with tears running down his
cheeks, he went on again, —
“You may not have lived
much under the sea” — (“I
haven't,” said Alice) — “and
perhaps you were never even
introduced to a Lobster ” —
(Alice began to say, “I once
tasted ””— but checked herself
hastily, and said, ‘“‘ No, never”)
—‘‘so you can have no idea



“LET’S TRY THE FIRST FIGURE,” SAID THE MOCK TURTLE,

what a delightful thing a Lobster Quadrille is.”

“No, indeed,” said Alice.

‘““Why,” said the Gryphon,

‘‘ What sort of a dance is it ?”
‘“‘you form a line along the seashore”—

“Two lines!” cried the Mock Turtle. ‘‘ Seals, turtles, salmon, and
so on; then, when you've cleared all the jelly-fish out of the way ” —
82 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

“That generally takes some time,” interrupted the Gryphon.

“You advance twice” —

“Each with a lobster as a partner!” cried the Gryphon.

“Of course,” the Mock Turtle said; ‘advance twice, set to part-
ners ” — .

‘Change lobsters, and retire in same order,” continued the Gryphon.

“Then you know,” the Mock Turtle went on, “ you throw the ” —

“The lobsters!” shouted the alae with a bound into the air.

‘As far out to sea as you can’

_« Swim after them!” screamed the Gryphon.

‘Turn a somersault in the sea!” cried the Mock Turtle, capering
wildly about.

“Change lobsters again!” yelled the Gryphon at the top of its voice.

“Back to land again, and—that’s all the first figure,” said the
Mock Turtle, suddenly dropping his voice; and the two creatures, who
had been jumping about like mad things all this time, sat down again
very sadly and quietly, and looked at Alice.

“Tt must be a very pretty dance,” said Alice timidly. |

“Would you like to see a little of it?” said the Mock Turtle.

‘Very much indeed,” said Alice.

‘Let's try the first figure!” said the Mock Turtle to the Gryphon.

“We can do it without lobsters, you know. Which shall sing?”

‘Oh, you sing,” said the Gryphon. “I’ve forgotten the words.”

So they began solemnly dancing round and round Alice, every now
and then treading on her toes when they passed too close, and waving
their fore paws to mark the time, while the Mock Turtle sang this, very
slowly and sadly: —

“¢Will you walk a little faster!’ said a whiting to a snail,
‘There’s a porpoise close behind us, and he’s treading on my tail.
See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance!
They are waiting on the shingle — will you come and join the dance?
Will you, won’t you, will you, won’t you, will you join the dance?
Will you, won’t you, will you, won’t you, won’t you join the dance?
THE LOBSTER QUADRILLE. 83

‘You can really have no notion how delightful it will be

When they take us up and throw us, with the lobsters, out to sea!’
But the snail replied, ‘Too far, too far!’ and gave a look askance —
Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he would not join the dance.
Would not, could not, would not, could not, would not join the dance.
Would not, could not, would not, could not, could not join the dance.

‘What matters it how far we go?’ his scaly friend replied,

‘There is another shore, you know, upon the other side.

The further off from England the nearer is to France;

Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance.

Will you, won’t you, will you, won’t you, will you join the dance?
Will you, won’t you, will you, won’t you, won’t you join the dance?’”

“Thank you; it’s a very interesting dance to watch,” said Alice,
feeling very glad that it was over at last; ‘‘and I do so like that curi-
ous song about the whiting!”

“Oh, as to the whiting,” said the Mock Turtle, ‘“ they — you’ve
seen them, of course?”

“Yes,” said Alice; “I’ve often seen them at dinn’
herself hastily.

“JT don’t know where Dinn may be,” said the Mock Turtle ; “ but if
you've seen them so often, of course you know what they’re like.”

“| believe so,” Alice replied thoughtfully. ‘They have their tails
in their mouths; and they’re all over crumbs.”

2

— she checked

“You're wrong about the crumbs,” said the Mock Turtle ; “crumbs
would all wash off in the sea. But they ave their tails in their

mouths; and the reason is” — here the Mock Turtle yawned and shut
his eyes — ‘tell her about the reason and all that,” he said to the
Gryphon. .

“The reason is,” said the Gryphon, “that they would go with the
lobsters to the dance. So they got thrown out to sea. So they had
to fall a long way. So they got their tails fast in their mouths. So
they couldn’t get them out again. That’s all.”

“Thank you,” said Alice, “it’s very interesting. I never knew so
much about a whiting before.” .
84 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

“T can tell you more than that, if you like,” said the Gryphon.
“Do you know why it’s called a whiting?”

‘I never thought about it,’ said Alice. ‘“ Why?”

“ L¢ does the boots and shoes,” the Gryphon replied very solemnly.

Alice was thoroughly puzzled. ‘ Does the boots and shoes!” she
repeated in a wondering tone.

‘“Why, what are your shoes done with?” said the Garin Sol
mean, what makes them so shiny?”

Alice looked down at them, and considered a little before she gave
her answer.“ They’re done with blacking, I believe.”

“ Boots and shoes under the sea,” the Gryphon went on ina deep
voice, “are done with whiting. Now you know.”

“And what are they made of?” Alice asked in a tone of great
curiosity.

‘« Soles and eels, of course,” the Gryphon replied rather impatiently ;
‘any shrimp could have told you that.”

“Tf I'd been the whiting,” said Alice, whose thoughts were still
running on the song, “I'd have said to the porpoise, ‘ Keep back, please ;

[22222

we don’t want you with us!

‘They were obliged to have him with them,” the Mock Turtle said ;
‘no wise fish would go anywhere without a porpoise.”

“Wouldn't it really?” said Alice in a tone of great surprise.

“Of course not,” said the’ Mock Turtle; “ why, if a fish came to me,
and told me he was going a journey, I should say, ‘With what porpoise ?’”

‘Don’t you mean ues ”?” said Alice.

“I mean what I say,” the Mock Turtle replied in an erence tone.
And the Gryphon added, ‘‘ Come, let’s hear some of your adventures.”

“T could tell you my adventures — beginning from this morning,”
said Alice a little timidly; “but it’s no use going back to eaieke ay.
because I was a different person then.”

‘ eon all that,” said the Mock Turtle.

“No, no! the adventures first,” said the ce in an impatient
tone; ‘‘explanations take such a dreadful time.”
THE LOBSTER QUADRILLE. 8 5

So Alice began telling them her adventures from the time when she
first saw the White Rabbit; she was a little nervous about it just at
first, the two creatures got so close to her, one on each side, and opened
their eyes and mouths so very wide, but she gained courage as she
went on. Her listeners were perfectly quiet till she got to the part
about her repeating, ‘“‘ You are old, Father William,’ to the Cater-
pillar, and the words all coming different; and then the Mock Turtle
drew a long breath, and esaid. very curious.” |

“It’s all about as curious as it can
be,” said the Gryphon.

“Tt all came different!” the Mock
Turtle repeated thoughtfully. “I should
like to hear her try and repeat something
now. ‘Tell her to begin.” He looked at
the Gryphon as if he thought it had some
kind of authority over Alice.

“Stand up and repeat, ‘’ 77s the votce
of the sluggard,” said the Gryphon.

‘«« How the creatures order one about,
and make one repeat lessons!” thought
Alice. ‘I might just as well be at school
“at once.”



However, she got up, and began to
repeat it; but her head was so full of the “{ MUST SUGAR MY HAIR,” SAYS THE
Lobster Quadrille that she hardly knew gee
what she was saying, and the words came very queer indeed : —

“?Tis the voice of the lobster; I heard him declare,
‘You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair.’

As a duck with its eyelids; so he with his nose,
Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out his toes.”

“That's different from what Z used to say when I was a child,”
said the Gryphon.
86 ALICE’S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

“Well, I never heard it before,” said the Mock Turtle; “but it
sounds uncommon nonsense.”

Alice said nothing; she had sat down again with her face in her
hands, wondering if anything would ever happen ina natural way again.

“T should like to have i explained,” said the Mock Turtle.

‘She can’t ou it,” said the Gryphon hastily. ‘Go on with
the next verse.”

“But about his toes?” the Mock Turtle persisted. ‘‘ How could he
turn them out with his nose, you know?”

“It’s the first position in dancing,” Alice said; but she was dread-
fully puzzled by the whole thing, and longed to change the subject.

“Go on with the next verse,” the Gryphon repeated impatiently ;
“it begins, ‘/ passed by his garden.” |
_ Alice did not dare to disobey, though she felt sure it would all come
wrong; and she went on in a trembling voice : —

“T passed by his garden, and marked, with one eye,
How the owl and the oyster were sharing the pie.”

«What zs the use of repeating all that stuff,” the Mock Turtle inter-
rupted, “if you don’t explain it as you goon? It’s by far the most
confusing thing / ever heard.”

‘Yes, I think you'd better leave off,” said the Con and Alice
was only too glad to do so.

‘« Shall we try another figure of the Lobster Quadrille : > the Gryphon
went on. ‘Or would you like the Mock Turtle to sing you a song?”

“Oh,a song, please, if the Mock Turtle would be so kind,” Alice
replied, so eagerly that the Gryphon said, in a rather offended tone, —

“Hm!” No accounting for tastes! Sing her ‘ Zurtle soup,’ will
you, old fellow?” |

The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and began,-in a voice sometimes
choked with sobs, to sing this : —

“ Beautiful Soup, so rich and green,
Waiting in a hot tureen!
THE LOBSTER QUADRILLE. 87

Who for such dainties would not stoop?

Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!

Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!
Beau — ootiful Soo — oop!
Beau — ootiful Soo — oop!

Soo —oop of the e—e— evening,
Beautiful, beautiful Soup!

-Beautiful Soup! Who cares for fish,

Game, or any other dish?

Who would not give all else for two p

ennyworth only of beautiful Soup?

Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup?
Beau — ootiful Soo — oop!
Beau — ootiful Soo — oop!

Soo—oop of the e—e— evening,
Beautiful, beauti— FUL SOUP!”

“ Chorus again,” cried the Gryphon; and the Mock Turtle had just
begun to repeat it, when a cry of ‘The trial’s beginning,” was heard
in the distance.

“Come on,” cried the Gryphon; and taking Alice by the hand, it
hurried off, without waiting for the end of the song.

“ What trial is it?” Alice panted as she ran; but the Gryphon only
answered, ‘“‘Come on,” and ran the faster, while more and more faintly
came, carried on the breeze that followed them, the melancholy words: —

“Soo — oop of the e —e— evening,
Beautiful, beautiful Soup!”


88 ALICE’S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

CHAPTER XI.
WHO STOLE THE TARTS?

Tue Kinc and Queen of Hearts were seated on their throne when
they arrived, with a great crowd assembled about them, —all sorts of
little birds and beasts, as well as the whole pack of cards. The Knave
was standing before them, in chains, with a soldier on each side to
guard him; and near the King was the White Rabbit, with a trumpet
in one hand, and a scroll of parchment in the other. In the very mid-
dle of the court was a table with a large dish of tarts upon it. They
looked so good that it: made Alice quite hungry to look at them. “JI
wish they'd get the trial done,” she thought, “and hand round the
refreshments.” But there seemed to be no chance of this, so she
began looking at everything about her to pass away the time.

Alice had never been in a court of justice before; but she had read
about them in books, and she was quite pleased to find that she knew’
the name of nearly everything there. ‘That's the judge,” she said to
herself, ‘‘ because of his great wig.”

The judge, by the way, was the King; and as he wore his crown
over the wig (look at the frontispiece if you want to see how he did
it), he did not look at all comfortable, and it was certainly not becoming.

“And that’s the jury-box,” thought Alice; ‘and those twelve crea-
tures” (she was obliged to say ‘‘ creatures,” you see, because some of
them were animals, and some were birds), “I suppose they are the
jurors.” She said this last word two or three times over to herself,
being rather proud of it; for she thought, and rightly too, that very
few little girls of her age knew the meaning of it at all. However,
“‘jurymen ” would have done just as well.
WHO STOLE THE TARTS? 89

The twelve jurors were all writing very busily on slates. ‘“ What
are they doing?” Alice whispered to the Gryphon. ‘“ They can’t have
anything to put down yet, before the trial’s begun.”

“ They’re putting down their. names,” the Gryphon whispered in
reply, “ for fear they should forget them before the end of the trial.”

“ Stupid things!” Alice began in a loud, indignant voice; but she
stopped herself hastily, for the White Rabbit cried out, “ Silence in
the court !”? and the King put on his spectacles and looked anxiously
round, to make out who was talking.

Alice could see, as well as if she were looking over their shoulders,
that all the jurors were writing down “ stupid things!” on their slates ;
and she could even make out that one of them didn’t know how to
spell “ stupid,” and that he had to ask
his neighbor to tell him. ‘ A nice mud-
dle their slates’ll be in before the trial’s
over!” thought Alice.

One of the jurors had a pencil that
squeaked. This, of course, Alice could
not stand; and she went round the court
and got behind him, and very soon found
an opportunity of taking it away. She
did it so quickly that the poor little juror
(it was Bill, the Lizard) could not make
out at all what had become of it; so,
after hunting all about for it, he was
obliged to write with one finger for the
rest of the day; and this was of very lit-



3 THE WHITE RABBIT AS HERALD.
tle use, as it left no mark on the slate. ;

“Herald, read the accusation!’ said the King.
On this the White Rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet, and
then unrolled the parchment scroll, and read as follows : —

“The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts,
All on a summer day;
. the

gO ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts,
And took them quite away!”

‘Consider your verdict,” the King said to the jury.

‘Not yet, not yet!” the Rabbit hastily interrupted. ‘ There’s a
great deal to come before that!”

‘Call the first witness,” said the King; and the White Rabbit blew
three blasts on the trumpet, and called out, “ First witness! ”

The first witness was the Hatter. He came in with a teacup in one
hand, and a piece of bread-and-butter in the other. ‘I beg pardon,
your majesty,” he began, “for bringing these in; but I hadn’t quite fin-
ished my tea when I was sent for.”

“You ought to have finished,” said the King. ‘ When did you

begin?”
The Hatter looked at the March Hare, who had followed him into
the court, arm-in-arm with the Dormouse. ‘‘ Fourteenth of March, I

think it was,” he said.

‘“‘ Fifteerith,” said the March Hare.

‘“‘ Sixteenth,” added the Dormouse.

‘Write that down,” the King said to the jury; and the jury eagerly
wrote down all three dates on their slates, and then added them up,
and reduced the answer to shillings and pence.

“Take off your hat,” the King said to the Hatter.

“Tt isn’t mine,” said the Hatter.

“Stolen!” the: King exclaimed, turning to the jury, who instantly
made a memorandum of the fact.

‘I keep them to sell,” the Hatter added as an explanation; “I’ve
none of my own. I’ma hatter.”

Here the Queen put on her spectacles, and began staring hard
at the Hatter, who turned pale and fidgeted.

‘Give your evidence,” said the King; “and don’t be nervous, or
I'll have you executed on the spot.”

This did not seem to encourage the witness at all. He kept shift-
ing from one foot to the other, looking uneasily at the Queen, and
HO STOLE THE TARTS? gI

in his confusion he bit a large piece out of his teacup instead of the
bread-and-butter.

Just at this moment Alice felt a very curious sensation, which puz-
zled her a good deal until she made out what it was; she was begin-
ning to grow larger again, and she thought at first she would get up
and leave the court; but on second thoughts she decided to remain
where she was as long as there was room
fonunhen

“J wish you wouldn’t squeeze so,” said
the Dormouse, who was sitting next to her.
“Tcan) hardly breathe.”

“T can’t help it,” said Alice very meekly ;
“T’m growing,”

“You've no right to grow here,” said the
Dormouse. ©

“Don’t talk nonsense,’ said Alice more
boldly ; ‘you know you're growing too.”

“Ves, but 7 grow at a reasonable pace,”



said the Dormouse; “not in that ridiculous
fashion.” And he got up very sulkily, and

THE WRETCHED HATTER SHOOK

crossed over to the other side of the court. Se HORS Oe

All this time the Queen had never left off staring at the Hatter ;
and just as the Dormouse crossed the court, she said to one of the
officers of the court, “ Bring me the list of the singers in the last con-
cert!” on which the wretched Hatter trembled so that he shook both
his shoes off.

“Give your evidence,” the King repeated angrily, “or I'll have you
executed, whether you’re nervous or not.”

“I’m a poor man, your majesty,” the Hatter began in a trembling
voice; ‘and I hadn’t but just begun my tea — not above a week or
so —and what with oS bread-and-butter getting so thin —and the
twinkling of the tea”

“The twinkling of eh ?” said the King.
92 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

“It degan with the tea,” the Hatter replied.

“Of course twinkling begins with a T!” said the King sharply.
‘Do you take me for a dunce? Go on!”

‘I’m a poor man,” the Hatter went on, ‘and most things twinkled
after that — only the March Hare said” —

‘“‘T didn’t!” the March Hare interrupted ina great hurry.

‘You did!” said the Hatter.

‘“‘T deny it,” said the March Hare.

‘“‘ He denies it,” said the King; ‘“‘ leave out that part.”

“Well, at any rate, the Dormouse said” —the Hatter went on,
looking anxiously round to see if he would deny it too; but the
Dormouse denied nothing, being fast asleep.

“ After oe continued the Hatter, “I cut some more bread-and-
butter”

“But what did the mormon say?” one of the jury asked.

“That I can’t remember,” remarked the Hatter.

“You must remember,” said the King, “or I'll have you executed.”

The miserable Hatter dropped his teacup and bread-and- butter, and _
went down on one knee. “I’m a poor man, your majesty,” he began.

“You're a very poor speaker,” said the King.

Here one of the guinea-pigs cheered, and was immediately sup-
pressed by the officers of the court. (As that is rather a hard word, I
will just explain to you how it was done. They had a large canvas
bag, which tied up at the mouth with strings; into this they slipped the
guinea-pig, head first, and then sat upon it.) ;

“I’m glad I’ve seen that done,” thought Alice. ‘I’ve so often read
in the newspapers, at the end of trials, ‘There was some attempt at ap-
plause, which was immediately suppressed by the officers of the court,’
and I never understood what it meant till now.”

“Tf that’s all you know about it, you may stand’ down,” continued
the King.

“TI can’t go rio lower,” said the Hatter; “I’m on the floor, as it is.”

“Then you may sz¢ down,” the King replied.
WHO STOLE THE TARTS? 93

Here the other guinea-pig cheered, and was suppressed.

“Come, that finishes the guinea-pigs! ” thought Alice. “Now we
shall get on better.”

‘“T’d rather finish my tea,” said the Hatter, with an anxious look at
the Queen, who was reading the list of singers.

“You may go,” said the King; and the Hatter hurriedly left the
court, without even waiting to put his shoes on.

« And just take his head off outside,” the Queen added to one of
the officers; but the Hatter was out of sight before the officer could get
to the door.

“Call the next witness!” said the King.

The next witness was the Duchess’ cook, who carried the pepper-box
in her hand;'and Alice guessed who it was, even before she got into
the court, by the way the people
near the door began sneezing all at
once.

‘Give your evidence,” said the
King.

“Sha’n’t,” said the cook.

The King looked anxiously at
the White Rabbit, who said in a low
voice, ‘‘ Your majesty must cross
examine ¢hzs witness.”

“Well, if I must, I must,” the
King said with a melancholy air;
and after folding his arms, and frowning at the cook till his eyes were
nearly out of sight, he said in a deep voice, ‘What are tarts made of?”

‘Pepper, mostly,”



THE HATTER LEFT HURRIEDLY.

said the cook.

“ Treacle,” said a sleepy voice behind her.

“ Collar that Dormouse |” the Queen shrieked out.‘ Behead that
Dormouse! Turn that Dormouse out of court! Suppress him! Pinch
him! Off with his whiskers ! ”

For some minutes the whole court was in confusion, getting the
ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN. WONDERLAND.
gy

Dormouse turned out; and by the time they had settled down again,
the cook had disappeared.

‘Never mind!” said the King, with an air of great relief. “Call
the next witness.” “And he added in an undertone to the Queen,
‘Really, my dear, you ru cross examine the next witness. It quite
makes my forehead ache!’

Alice watched the White Rabbit as he fumbled over the list, feeling
very curious to see what the next witness would be like — “ for they
haven't got much evidence yet,” she said to herself. Imagine her sur-
prise, when the White Rabbit read out, at the top of his shrill little
voice, the name “ Alice.”
ALICE'S EVIDENCE, 95

CHAPTER XII.
ALICE'S EVIDENCE. ©

« Here!” cried Alice, quite forgetting in the flurry of the moment
how large she had grown in the last few minutes; and she jumped up
in such a hurry that she tipped over the jury-box with the edge of her
skirt, upsetting all the jurymen onto the heads of the crowd below, and
there they lay sprawling about, reminding her very much of a globe of
goldfish she had accidentally upset the week before.

“Oh, I deg your pardon!” she exclaimed in a tone of great dismay ;
and began picking them up again as quickly as she could, for the acci-
dent of the goldfish kept running in her head, and she had a vague
sort of idea that they must be collected at once and put back into the
jury-box or they would die.

“The trial cannot proceed,” said the King in a very grave voice,
“until all the jurymen are back in their proper places — ad,” he repeated
with great emphasis, looking hard at Alice as he said so.

Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that, in her haste, she had mae
the Lizard in head downwards, and the poor little thing was waving its
tail about in a melancholy way, being quite unable to move. She soon
got it out again, and put it right ; “ not that it signifies much, ” she said
to herself; “1 should think it would be gute as much used in the trial
one way up as the other.”

As soon as the jury had a little recovered from the shock of being
upset, and their slates and pencils had been found and handed back to
them, they set to work very diligently to write a history of the accident ;
all except the Lizard, who seemed too much overcome to do anything
but sit with its mouth wide open, gazing up into the roof of the court.

“What do you know about this business?” the King said to Alice.
96 ALICE’S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

“Nothing,” said Alice.

‘Nothing whatever ?” persisted the King.

‘Nothing whatever,” said Alice.

“That's very important,” the King said, turning to the jury. They
were just beginning to write this down on their slates, when the White
Rabbit interrupted, ‘“‘ Vzimportant, your majesty means, of course,” he
said in a very respectful tone, but frowning and making faces at him as
he spoke. .

‘‘ Unimportant, of course, I meant,” the King hastily said, and went
on to himself in an undertone, “important — unimportant — unimpor-
tant — important,” as if he were trying which word sounded best.

Some of the jury wrote it down “important,” and some of them “ un-
important.” Alice could see this, as she was near enough to look over
their slates; ‘“ but it doesn’t matter a bit,” she thought to herself.

At this moment the King, who had been for some time busily writ-
ing in his note-book, called out “Silence!” and read out from his book,
‘Rule Forty-two. Ad persons more than a mile high to leave the court.”

Everybody looked at Alice.

‘““’m not a mile high,” said A lice.

‘You are,” said the King.

“Nearly two miles high,” added the Queen.

“Well, I sha’n’t go, at any rate,” said Alice ; ‘“ besides, that’s not a
regular rule; you invented it just now.”

‘It's the oldest rule in the book,” said the King.

‘““Then it ought to be Number One,” said Alice.

The king turned pale, and shut his note-book hastily. ‘ Consider
your verdict,” he said to the jury in a low, trembling voice.

““There’s more evidence to come yet, please your majesty,” said the
White Rabbit, jumping up in a great hurry; “this paper has just been
picked up.”

‘What's in it?” said the Queen.

“IT haven’t opened it yet,” said the White Rabbit ; ‘‘ but it seems to
be a letter written by the prisoner to — to somebody.”
ALICE'S EVIDENCE. 97

“Tt must have been that,” said the King, “unless it was written to
nobody, which isn’t usual, you know.”

“Who is it directed to?” said one of the jurymen.

“Tt isn’t directed at all,” said the White Rabbit; ‘in fact, there’s
nothing written on the owtszde.” He unfolded the paper as he spoke,
and added, ‘It isn’t a letter after all; it’s a set of verses.”

‘Are they in the peeoes handwriting?” asked another of the
jurymen.

‘No, they’re not,” said the White Rabbit; “and that’s the queerest
thing about it.” (The jury all looked Be)

‘He must have imitated somebody else’s hand,” said the King.
(The jury all brightened up again.)

“Please your majesty,” said the Knave, “I didn’t write it, and they
can’t prove I did; there’s no name signed at the end.”

“Tf you didn’t sign it,” said the King, “that only makes the matter
worse. You must have cans some mischief, or else you'd have signed
your name like an honest man.’

There was a general clapping of ans at this; it was the first really
clever thing the King had said that day.

“That proves his guilt,” said the Queen.

“Tt proves nothing of the sort,” said Alice. ‘“ Why, you don't even
know what they’re about!”

«Read them,” said the King.

The White eas put on his spectacles. ‘“ Where shall I begin,
please your majesty?” he asked.

“Begin at the beginning,” the King said gravely, “and go on till
you come to the end; then stop.”

These were the verses the White Rabbit read : —

“They told me that you had been to her, He sent them word I had not gone
And mentioned me to him; (We know it to be true) ;
She gave me a good character, If she should push the matter on,
But said I could not swim. What would become of you?

4


98 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

I gave her one, they gave him two,
You gave us three or more;

They all returned from him to you,
Though they were mine before.

If I or she should chance to be
Involved in this affair,

He trusts to you to set them free,
Exactly as we were,

“you’RE NOTHING BUT A PACK OF CARDS!” CRIED ALICE.



My notion was that you had been
(Before she had this fit)

An obstacle that came between
Him, and ourselves, and it.

Don’t let him know she liked them best,
For this must ever be

A secret, kept from all the rest,
Between yourself and me.”

“That's the most
important piece of evi-
dence we've heard yet,”
said the King, rubbing
his hands; ‘‘so now let
the jury” —

“Tf any one of them
can explain it,” said Alice
(she had grown so large
in the last few minutes
that she wasn’t a bit
afraid of interrupting
him), “Tl give him
sixpence. J don’t be-
lieve there’s an atom of
meaning in it.”

The jury all wrote
down on their slates,
She doesn’t believe
there’s an atom of mean-
ing in it,” but none of
them attempted to ex-
plain the paper. .

“Tf there’s no meaning in it,” said the King, “ that saves a world of
trouble, you know, as we needn't try to find any. And yet I don’t


y * .
ALICE S EVIDENCE. 99

know,” he went on, spreading out the verses on his knee, and looking
at them with one eye; ‘I seem to see some meaning in them, after all.
— ‘said I could not swim’—you can’t swim, can you?” he added,
turning to the Knave.

The Knave shook his head sadly. “Do I look like it?” he said.
(Which he certainly did oz, being made entirely of cardboard. )

“All right so far,” said the King ; and he went on muttering over
the verses to himself: “‘ We know zt to be true’ — that’s the jury, of
course — ‘J gave her one, they gave him two’ —why, that must be what
he.did with the tarts, you know ” —

‘But it goes on, ‘ They all returned from him to you,” said Alice.

“Why, there they are!” said the King triumphantly, pointing to
the tarts on the table. ‘Nothing can be clearer than ¢ha¢. Then
again —‘ Before she had this fit’ —you never had fits, my dear, I
think?” he said to the Queen.

“Never!” said the Queen furiously, feos an inkstand at the
Lizard as she spoke. (The unfortunate little Bill had left off writing
on his slate with one finger, as he found it made no mark; but he now
hastily began again, using the ink, that was tickling down his face, as
long as it lasted.)

“Then the words don't fi¢ you,” said the King, looking round the
court with a smile. There was a dead silence.

“It’s a pun,” the King added in an angry tone, and everybody.
laughed. ‘‘ Let the jury consider their verdict,” the King said for
about the twentieth time that day. :

‘No, no, no!” said the Queen. “Sentence first — verdict after-
ward.”

“ Stuff and nonsense! ” ae Alice loudly. ‘‘ The idea of having the
sentence first!”

‘Hold your tongue !”’ said the Queen, turning purple.

“T wont !” said Alice.

‘“Offwith her head!” the Queen shouted at the top of her voice.
Nobody moved.
I0O ALICE’S ADVENTURE IN WONDERLAND

‘Who cares for you?” said Alice (she had grown to her full size
by this time). ‘ You’re nothing but a pack of cards!”" _

At this the whole pack rose up into the air, and came flying down
upon her; she gave a little scream, half of fright and half of anger, and
tried to beat them off, and found herself lying on the bank, with her
head in the lap of her sister, who was gently brushing away some dead
leaves that had fluttered down from the trees onto her face.

“Wake up, Alice dear!” said her sister ; ‘‘ why, what a long sleep
you've had!” ;

‘Oh, I’ve had such a curious dream
Alice; and she told her ‘sister, as well as she

!” said
could remember them, all these strange ad-
ventures of hers that you have just been read-
ing about; and when she had finished, her
sister kissed her, and said, “It was a curi-
ous dream, dear, certainly; but now run into
your tea; it’s getting late.” So Alice got up
and ran off, thinking while she ran; as well
she might, what a. wonderful dream it had
been.

\ 7 emcee eA {2h But her sister sat still just as she left her,
A gil Li Ae. leaning her head on her hand, watching the

Kw

OM Sap Se

: ein A RT setting sun, and think-
; : (UIT RSS Te IH WN

y a Pe ms ‘i ,







—ae ing of little Alice and
all her wonderful. ad-








ventures, till she too
began dreaming after
a fashion, and this was







SSOSS her dream : —

First, she dreamed
of little Alice herself.
Once again the tiny hands were clasped upon her knee, and the bright,

eager eyes were looking up into.hers. She could hear the very tones

THE KING MADE A PUN.
y
ALICES EVIDENCE. IOL

of her voice, and see that queer little toss of her head, to keep back
the wandering hair that wow/d always get into her eyes—and still as
she listened, or seemed to listen, the whole place around her became
alive with the strange creatures of her little sister’s dream.

The long grass rustled at her feet as the White Rabbit hurried
by; the frightened Mouse splashed his way through the neighboring
pool; shé could hear-the rattle of the teacups as the March Hare and
his friends shared their never- ending meal, and the shrill voice of the
Queen ordering off her unfortunate guests to execution. Once more
the pig-baby was sneezing on the Duchess’ knee, while plates and
dishes crashed around it; once more the shriek of the Gryphon, the
squeaking of the Lizard’s slate-pencil, and the choking of the sup-
pressed guinea-pigs, filled the air, mixed up with the distant sob of the
miserable Mock Turtle.

So she sat on, with closed eyes, and half believed herself in Won-
derland, though she knew she had but to open them again and all would
change to dull reality, —the grass would be only rustling in the wind,
and the pool rippling to the waving of the reeds; the rattling teacups
would change to tinkling sheep-bells, and the Queen’s shrill cries to the
voice of the shepherd-boy —and the sneeze of the baby, the shriek of
_ the Gryphon, and all the other queer noises, would change (she knew) to
the confused clamor of the busy farmyard ; while the lowing of the cattle
in the distance would take the place of the Mock Turtle’s heavy sobs.

Lastly she pictured to herself how this same little sister of hers
would, in the after-time, be herself a grown woman ; and how she would
. keep, through all her riper years, the simple and loving heart of her
childhood ; and how she would gather about her other little children,
and make their eyes bright and eager with many a strange tale, perhaps
even with the dream of Wonderland of long ago; and how she would
feel with all their simple sorrows, and find a pleasure in all their simple
joys, remembering her own child-life and the happy summer days.

THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLass,

AND

WHAT ALICE FOUND THERE.
DRAMATIS PERSON.

(As arranged before commencement of game.)

WHITE. RED.

PIECES. PAWNS. . PAWNS. PIECES.
TWEEDLEDEE. . .. . . . DAIsy. Daisy. . . . . ». Humpty Dumpty.
WINTCORN Mie newts alata ae eA G HAG MESSENGER... . . CARPENTER.
SHEEP aan ronan ane mOVSTER: OysTER.. . . . ~. WALRUS.

WE OUEENS Menangle cre TL View TIGER-LILY.. . . R. QUEEN.
NEAT RDAGR GL Ma tot ah icor ta oped ANE ROSE Oty anita tet ci aOR KCIN Ge
AGED Man... . . . . OYSTER. OvsTER. . . . . CROW.
WAHIGNI GHA uae irene cena rane EAT As GROG Hanis eee caleen sche KNIGHTS
TWEEDLEDUM. ... . . Daisy. DATS Velen nee ue eLUlONs

oe o ee
sa 28

a es ie
a ie Pate
KG we <

WHITE.

White Pawn (Alice) to play, and win in eleven moves.



PAGE PAGE
1. Alice meets R.Q.. . . . . 122 1. R.Q.toK. R’s 4th . . . . 126
2. Alice through Q.’s 3d (by ee
way) « 127 2 W. Q. to Q. B.’s 4th ee
to Q.’s 4th (Tweedledum ond shawl) . . . 147
Tweedledee). . . ee eel OO
3. Alice meets W. Q. (with ee 148 3. W. Q. to Q. B.’s 5th (becomes
4, Alice to Q.’s 5th (shop, river, sheep) . . . 153
shop) . . . 153 AE VV1 Os tone B’s 8th (leaves
5. Alice to Q.’s ‘6th (Humpty egg on shelf). . . 157
Dumpty) . . . 159 5. W.Q. to Q. B.’s 8th (lying f om
6. Alice to Q.’s 7th (ores) eG IREOKECS) Pa . 175
7. W. Kt.takesR. Kt. . . . . 181 6. R. Kt. to K.’s 2d (ch) ee eS)
8. Alice to Q.’s 8th (coronation) . 190 7. W. Kt. to K. B’s Sth. . . . 189
9. Alice becomes Queen . . . 191 8. R.Q. to K.’s sq. Suny 192
10. Alice castles (feast) . . . . 199 9. Queen’s castle . . . 197
11. Alice takes R. Q. and wins. . 205 10. W. Q. to Q. R. 6th Connie . 204

104
INTRODUCTION.

CuILD of the pure. unclouded brow
And dreaming eyes of wonder!

Though time. be fleet, and I and:thou
Are half.a life asunder,

Thy loving ‘smile will surely. hail

The love-gift of a fairy-tale.

I have not:seen thy. sunny face,
Nor heard thy silver laughter ;
No thought of me shall find a plac
In thy. young life’s hereafter —
Enough that now thou wilt not fail

To listen to my fairy-tale.

A tale begun in other days,
When summer suns were glowing —
A simple chime, that served to time
The rhythm of our rowing —
Whose echoes live in memory yet,

Come, hearken then, ere voice of dread,
With bitter tidings laden,

Shall summon to unwelcome bed
A melancholy maiden !

We are but older children, dear,

Who fret to find our bedtime near.

Without, the frost, the blinding snow,
The storm-wind’s moody madness —
Within, the firelight’s ruddy glow
And childhood’s nest of gladness.
The magic words shall hold thee fast:
Thou shalt not heed the raving blast.

And though the shadow of a sigh
May tremble through the story,

For “happy summer days” gone by,
And vanished. summer glory —

It shall not touch with breath of bale

Though envious years would say, “forget.” The pleasance of our fairy-tale.

105
Ne
\

Kggee
eee

age
SSSR

THE JABBERWOCK.



See page 116.
THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS.

CHAPTER I:
LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE.

One thing was certain, —that the whz¢e kitten had had nothing to do
with it; it was the black kitten’s fault entirely. For the white kitten
had been having its face hed
washed by the old cat for At tWilun Se Ns
the last quarter of an hour AN URN
(and bearing it pretty well,
considering) ; so you see
that it couldn't have had any
hand in the mischief. \




The way Dinah washed —_ 7
her children’s faces was this: SE HLA (Ss S
Ay ts AN SSO WEES
first she held the poor thing PULLERS NAS

° ° . ‘THE BLACK KITTEN.
down by its ear with one

paw, and then with the other paw she rubbed its face all over, the wrong
way, beginning at the nose; just now, as I said, she was hard at work
on the white kitten, which was lying quite still and trying to purr—
no doubt feeling that it was all meant for its good.

But the black kitten had been finished with earlier in the afternoon ;
and so, while Alice was sitting curled up in a corner of the great arm-
chair, half talking to herself and half asleep, the kitten had been having
a grand game of romps with the ball of worsted Alice had been trying
to wind up, and had been rolling it up and down till it had all come

107
108 THROUGH THE LOOKING—GLASS.

undone again, and there it was, spread over the hearth-rug, all knots
and tangles, with the kitten running after its own tail in the middle.

“Oh, you wicked, wicked little thing!” cried Alice, catching up the
kitten, and giving it a little kiss to make it understand that it was in
disgrace. ‘Really, Dinah ought to have taught you better manners !
You ought, Dinah, you know you ought !” she added, looking reproach-
fully at the old cat, and speaking in as cross a voice as she could man-
age; and then she scrambled back into the armchair, taking the kitten
and the worsted with her, and began winding up the ball again. But
she didn’t get on-very fast, as she was talking all the time, sometimes
to the kitten, and sometimes to herself. Kitty sat very demurely on
her knee, pretending to watch the progress of the winding, and now
and then putting out one paw and gently touching the ball, as if it
would be glad to help if it might.

“Do you know what to-morrow is, Kitty?” Alice began. ‘ You'd
have guessed if you'd been up in the window with me— only Dinah
was making you tidy, so you couldn’t. I was watching the boys getting
in sticks for the bonfire —and it wants plenty of sticks, Kitty! Only
it got so cold, and it snowed so, they had to leave off. Never mind,
Kitty, we'll go and see the bonfire to-morrow.” Here Alice wound two
or three turns of the worsted round the kitten’s neck, just to see how it
would look; this led to a scramble, in which the ball rolled down upon
the floor, and yards and yards of it got unwound again.

‘Do you know, I was so angry, Kitty,” Alice went on, as soon as
they were comfortably settled again, “when I saw all the mischief you
had been doing, I was very nearly opening the window and putting
you out into the snow! And you'd have deserved it, you little mis-
chievous darling! What have you got to say for yourself? Now don’t
interrupt me!” she went on, holding up one finger; “I’m going to tell
you all your faults. Number one: you squeaked twice while Dinah
was washing your face this morning. Now you can’t deny it, Kitty; I
heard you! What’s that you say?” (Pretending that the kitten was
speaking.) ‘Her paw went into your eye? Well, that’s your fault,
~ came, I should have to

much! I'd far rather

LOOKING—GLASS HOUSE. 10g

for keeping your eyes open — if you'd shut them tight up, it wouldn’t
have happened. Now don’t make any more excuses, but listen! Num-
ber two: you pulled Snowdrop away by the tail just as I had put down
the saucer of milk before her! What, you were thirsty, were you? How
do you know she wasn’t thirsty too? Now for number three: you un-
wound every bit of worsted while I wasn’t looking!

‘That's three faults, Kitty, and you've not been punished for any of
them yet. You know I’m saving up all your punishments for Wednes-
day week — suppose they, had saved up all my punishments!” she

wii nil
ist

went on, talking more
to herself than the kit-
ten. “What would
they do at the end of a
year? I should be sent
to prison, I suppose, /}
when the day came. L Wy
Or—let me see—sup-
pose each punishment








PH,
i)




was to be going with-
out a ee then, ¢ Hy
when the miserableday FY

go without fifty din- Hf
ners at once! Well, I J]
shouldn’t mind fhat





go without them than
eat them!
“Do you hear the



SSESN
SSK
SS

z . “KITTY, CAN YOU PLAY CHESS?”
snow against the win-

dow-panes, Kitty? How nice and soft it sounds! Just as if some one
was kissing the window all over outside. 1 wonder if the snow /oves the
trees and fields, that it kisses them so gently? And then it covers them
I1IO THROUGH THE LOOKING—GLASS.

up snug, you know, with a white quilt; and perhaps it says, ‘Go to
sleep, darlings, till the summer comes again.’ And when they wake up
in the summer, Kitty, they dress themselves all in green, and dance
about — whenever the wind blows—oh, that’s very pretty!” cried
Alice, dropping the ball of worsted to clap her hands. “And I do so
wish it was true! I’m
sure the woods look






Lanai
TLE Rh sleepy in the autumn,
iH when the leaves are get-

ting brown.

PS Leh

IY

“ Kitty, can you play
chess? Now, my dear,
don’t smile; ’'m asking
seriously. For when we











were playing just now,



Vin you watched just as if
you understood it; and
when I said ‘ Check!’
you purred! Well, it
was a nice check, Kitty,
and really I might have
SS = won, if it hadn’t been
for that nasty Knight
_ that came wriggling
\ << down among my pieces.
a Kitty, dear, let’s pre-
tend” — And here I
wish I could tell you half the things Alice used to say, beginning with
her favorite phrase, ‘Let's pretend.” She had had quite a long argu-
ment with her sister only the day before, all because Alice had begun
with, “Let’s pretend we’re kings and queens;” and her sister, who liked
being very exact, had argued that they couldn’t, because there were
only two of them, and Alice had been reduced at last to say, “Well, you

THE GLASS WAS BEGINNING TO MELT.
LOOKING-—GLASS HOUSE. III

can be one of them, then, and /’Z@ be all the rest.” And once she had
really frightened her old nurse by shouting suddenly in her ear, ‘‘ Nurse!
Do Iet’s pretend that I’m a hungry hyena and you're a bone!”

But this is taking us away from Alice’s speech to the kitten. ‘‘Let’s
pretend that you’re the Red Queen, Kitty! Do you know, I think if
you sat up and folded your
arms, you'd look exactly
like her. Now do try,
there’s a dear!” And ,
Alice got the Red Queen ti
off the table, and set it up



before the kitten as a



model for it to imitate; |
however, the thing didn’t |
i
i















succeed, principally, Alice
said, because the kitten





















~ wouldn’t fold its arm prop-































erly. So, to punishit, she | (el
held it up to the looking-
glass, that it might see
how sulky it was—‘“‘and if
you're not good directly,”



she added, “Tl put you
through into Looking- 9°”
glass House. How would & Vig
you like that?

“Now, if. you'll only
attend, Kitty, and not talk so much, I’ll tell you all my ideas about
Looking-glass House. First, there’s the room you can see through
the glass — that’s just the same as our drawing-room, only the things
go the other way. I can see all of it when I get upon a chair —all
but the bit just behind the fireplace. Oh! I do so wish I could see
that bit! I want so much to know whether they’ve a fire in the

THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS.
112 THROUGH THE LOOKING—GLASS.

winter; you never caz tell, you know, unless our fire smokes, and then

smoke comes up in that room too—but that may be only pretence,
just to make it look as if they had a fire. Well, then, the books
are something like our books, only the words go the wrong way; I
know that because I’ve held up one of our books to the glass, and
then they hold up one in the other room.

‘How would you like to live in Looking- wink House, Kitty? I
wonder if they’d give you milk in there? Perhaps Looking-glass milk
isn’t good to drink—but, O Kitty! now we come to the passage.
You can just see a little eed of the passage in Looking-glass House
if you leave the door of our drawing-room wide open; and it’s very
like our passage as far as you can see, only you know it may be quite
different on beyond. O Kitty! how nice it would be if we only could
get through into Looking-glass House! I’m sure it’s got, oh! such
beautiful things in it! Let’s pretend there’s a way of getting through
into it, somehow, Kitty. Let’s pretend the glass has got all soft like
gauze, so that we can get through. Why, it’s turning into a sort of a
mist now, I declare! It'll be easy enough to get through” — She
was up on the chimney-piece while she said this, though she hardly
knew how she had got there. And certainly the glass was beginning
to melt away, just like a bright silvery mist.

In another moment Alice was through the glass, and jumped lightly
down into the Looking-glass room. The very first thing she did was
to look whether there was a fire in the fireplace; and she was quite
pleased to find that there was a real one, blazing away-as brightly as
the one she had left behind. ‘So I shall be as warm here as I was in
the old room,” thought Alice; ‘“‘warmer, in fact, because there’ll be no
one here to scold me away from the fire. Oh, what fun it’ll be, when
they see me through the glass in here, and can’t get at me!”

Then she began looking about, and noticed that what could be
seen from the old room was quite common and uninteresting, but that
all the rest was as different as possible. For instance, the pictures
on the wall next the fire seemed to be all alive, and the very clock on

a
LOOKING-—GLASS HOUSE. II3

the chimney-piece (you know you can only see the back of it in the
looking-glass) had got the face of a little old man, and grinned at her.

“They don’t keep this room so tidy as the other,” Alice thought to
herself, as she noticed several of the chessmen down in the hearth
among the cinders; but in another moment, with a little “Oh” of
surprise, she was down on her hands and knees watching them. The
chessmen were walking about two and two.

“Here are the Red King and the Red Queen,” Alice said (in a

whisper, for fear of frightening eee ‘and there are the White King
and the White Queen
sitting on the edge of
the shovel, and here
are two castles walk-
ing arm in arm. I
don’t think they can
hear me,” she went
on as she put her
head closer down,
‘and I’m nearly sure
they can’t see me. I
feel somehow as if I
were invisible” —
Here something



THE CHESSMEN WERE WALKING ABOUT.

began squeaking on
the table behind Alice, and made her turn her head just in time to see
one of the White Pawns roll over and begin kicking ; she watched it
with great curiosity to see what would happen next.

“Tt is the voice of my child!” the White Queen cried out, as she
‘rushed past the King so violently that she knocked him over among
the cinders.

‘““My precious Lily! My imperial kitten!” and she began scram-
bling wildly up the side of the fender.

“Imperial fiddlestick!” said the King, rubbing his nose, which had
II4 THROUGH THE LOOKING—GLASS.

been hurt by the fall. He hada right to be a /zt#/e annoyed with the
Queen, for he was covered with ashes from head to foot.

Alice was very anxious to be of use; and as the poor little Lily was
nearly screaming herself into a fit, she hastily picked up the Queen,
and set her on the table by the side of her noisy little daughter.

The Queen gasped, and sat down; the rapid journey through the
air had quite taken away her breath, and for a minute or two she could
do nothing but hug the little Lily in silence. As soon as she recov-
ered her breath a little, she called out to the White King, who was sit-
ting sulkily among the ashes, ‘Mind the volcano!”

“What volcano?” said the King, looking up anxiously into the
fire, as if he thought that was

the most likely place to find
one.
‘“‘Blew—me—up,” panted
the Queen, who was still a lit-
> tle out of breath. ‘Mind you
“come up—the regular way—
don’t get blown up!”
Alice watched the White
King as he slowly struggled
\ up from bar to bar, till at last
| ; she said, —

S ‘Why, you'll be hours and
hours getting to the table, at
' that rate. I'd far better help
you, hadn’t 1?” But the King took no notice of the question; it was
quite clear that he could neither hear her nor see her.

So Alice picked him up very gently, and lifted him across more
slowly than she had lifted the Queen, that she mightn’t take his breath
away; but before she put him on the table, she thought she might as
well dust him a little, he was so covered with ashes.

She said afterward that she had never seen in all her life such






Logo,

==

LEE



ALICE PICKS UP THE WHITE KING,
LOOKING—GLASS HOUSE. 115

a face as the King made, when he found himself held in the air by an
invisible hand, and being dusted; and he was far too much astonished
to cry out; but his eyes and his mouth went on getting larger and
larger and rounder and rounder, till her hand shook so with laughing
that she nearly let him drop upon the floor.

“Oh! please don’t make such faces, my dear!” she cried out, quite
forgetting that the King couldn’t hear her. ‘You make me laugh so
that I can hardly hold you! And don’t keep your mouth so wide
open! All the ashes will get into it. There, now I think you're tidy
enough!” she added, as she smoothed his hair, and set him upon the
table near the Queen.

The King immediately fell flat on his back, and lay perfectly still;
and Alice was a little alarmed at what she had done, and went round
the room to see if she could find any water to-throw’over him. How-
ever, she could find nothing but a bottle of ink, and when she got back
with it she found he had recovered, and he and the Queen were talking
together in a frightened whisper — so low
that Alice could hardly hear what they said.

The King was saying, ‘“‘I assure you, my
dear, I turned cold to the very ends of my
whiskers !”

To which the Queen replied, ‘ You
haven't got any whiskers.”

‘The horror of that moment,” the King
went on, “I shall never, zever forget!”

“You will, though,” the Queen said, ‘if
you don’t make a memorandum of it.” :

Alice looked on with great interest as 9 T= waITe KnicHT stipes Down
the King took an enormous memorandum- Ror
book out of his pocket, and began writing. A sudden thought struck
her; and she took hold of the end of the pencil, which came some way
over his shoulder, and began writing for him.

The poor King looked puzzled and unhappy, and struggled with


116 . THROUGH THE LOOKING—GLASS.

the pencil for some time without saying anything; but Alice was too
strong for him, and at last he panted out, “My dear! I really must
getathinner pencil. I can’t manage this one a bit; it writes all manner
of things that I don’t intend” —

“What manner of things?” said the Queen, looking over the book
(in which Alice had put, “ Zhe White Knight ts sliding down the poker.
Fe balances very badly”). ‘That's nota memorandum of your feelings!”

There was a book lying near Alice on the table ; and while she sat
watching the White King (for she was still a little anxious about him,
and had the ink all ready to throw over him in case he fainted again),
she turned over the leaves to find some part that she could read; “ for
it’s all in some language I don’t know,” she said to herself.

It was like this.

-YKCOWREBBAJ

sevot yhtils eht dna, gillirb sawT’
;ebaw eht ni elbmig dna eryg diD

sevogorob eht erew ysmim IlA
.ebargtuo shtar emom eht dnA

She puzzled over this for some time, but at last a bright thought
struck her. ‘Why, it’s a looking-glass book, of course! And if I
hold it up to a glass the words will all go the right way again.”

This was the poem that Alice read.

JABBERWOCKY.

*T was brillig, and the slithy toves “Beware the Jabberwock, my son!

Did gyre and gimble in the wabe- The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
All mimsy were the borogoves, Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun

And the mome raths outgrabe. The frumious Bandersnatch ! ”
He took his vorpal sword in hand: And as in uffish thought he stood,

Long time the manxome foe he sought — The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
So rested he by the Tumtum tree, Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,

And stood awhile in thought. And burbled as it came!
®

LOOKING—GLASS HOUSE. I17

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack !

He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

“ And hast thou slain the Jabberwock? *T was brillig, and the slithy toves
Come to my arms, my beamish boy! Did gyre and gimble in the wabe ;
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!” All mimsy were the borogoves,
He chortled in his joy. ; And the mome raths outgrabe.

‘‘It seems very pretty,” she said when she had finished it; ‘but it’s
vather hard to understand!” (You see, she didn’t like to confess, even
to herself, that she couldn’t make it out at all.) ‘“‘ Somehow it seems
to fill my head with ideas— ohly I don’t exactly know what they are!
However, somebody killed something ; that’s clear, at any rate” —

‘But oh!” thought Alice, suddenly jumping up, “if I don’t make
haste I shall have to go back through the looking-glass before I’ve
seen what the rest of the house is like! Let’s have a look at.the gar-
den first!” She was out.of the room in a moment, and ran down-stairs
— or, at least, it wasn’t exactly running, but a new invention for getting
down-stairs quickly and easily, as Alice said to herself. She just kept
the tips of her fingers on the hand-rail, and floated gently down with-
out even touching the stairs with her feet; then she floated on through
the hall, and would have gone straight out at the door in the same way,
if she hadn’t caught hold of the door-post. She was getting a little
giddy with so much floating in the air, and was rather glad to find her-
self walking again in the natural way.
118 THROUGH THE LOOKING—GLASS.

CHAPTER II.
THE GARDEN OF LIVE FLOWERS.

“IT souLp see the garden far better,” said Alice to herself, “if I
could get to the top of that hill; and here’s a path that leads straight
A to it—at least—no, it doesn’t do that” (after
going a few yards along the path and turning
several sharp corners), ‘‘ but I suppose it will —
at last. But how curiously it twists! It’s more




likea corkscrew than
a path! Well, ¢hzs
‘turn goes to the hill,
I suppose — no, it
doesn’t! This goes
straight back to the
house! Well, then
I'll try it the other

And so she did;
wandering up and
down, trying turn
after turn, but al-
ways coming back to
the house, do what
she would. Indeed,

“WE can TALK,” SAID THE TIGER-LILY, when she turned a
corner once, rather more quickly than usual, she ran against it before
she could stop herself. ;
THE GARDEN OF LIVE FLOWERS. 11g

“Tt’s no use talking about it,” Alice said, looking up at the house,
and pretending it was arguing with her; “I’m zo¢ going in again yet.
I know I should have to get through the looking-glass again, back
into the old room, and there’d be an end of all my adventures!”

So, resolutely turning her back upon the house, she set out once
more down the path, determined to keep straight on till she got to the
hill. For a few minutes all went on well; and she was just saying, “I
really skal/ do it this time,” when the path gave a sudden twist and
shook itself (as she described it afterward), and the next moment she
found herself actually walking in at the door. :

“Oh, it’s too bad!” she cried; “I never saw such a house for
getting in the way! Never!”

However, there was the hill full in sight, so there was nothing to
be done but start again. This time she came upona large flower-bed,
with a border of daisies, and a willow-tree growing in the middle.

“O Tiger-lily,” said Alice, addressing herself to one that was waving
gracefully in the wind, “I ws you could talk! ”

“We can talk,” said the Tiger-lily, “when there’s anybody worth
talking to.”

Alice was so astonished that she couldn’t speak for a minute; it
quite seemed to take her breath away. At length, as the Tiger-lily only
went on waving about, she spoke again, in a timid voice, almost in a
whisper, ‘“ And caz all the flowers talk ?”

“As well as you can,” said the Tiger-lily. “And a great deal louder.”

“Tt isn’t manners for us to begin, you know,” said the Rose; “and
I really was wondering when you’d speak! Said I to myself, ‘Her face
has got some sense in it, though it’s nota clever one!’ Still, you’re the
right color, and that goes along way.” > :

“T don’t care about the color,” the Tiger-lily remarked. “If only
her petals curled up a little more, she’d be all right.”

Alice didn’t like being criticised, so she began asking questions.

‘‘Aren’t you sometimes frightened at being planted out here, with
nobody to take care of you?”’:
120 THROUGH THE LOOKING—GLASS.

‘“‘There’s the tree in the middle,” said the Rose; “what else is it
good for?”

‘But what could it do if any danger came?” Alice asked.

“Tt could bark,” said the Rose.

“It says ‘ Bough-wough!’” cried a Daisy ; ‘ that’s why its branches
are called boughs!”

‘“‘Didn’t you know ¢hat?” cried another Daisy; and ee they all
began shouting together, till the air seemed quite full of little shrill
voices. ‘Silence, every one of you!” cried the Tiger-lily, waving itself
passionately from side to side, and trembling with excitement. ‘‘They
know I can’t get at them!” it panted, bending its quivering head to-
ward Alice, “or they wouldn’t dare to do it!”

‘“Never mind!” Alice said in a soothing tone; and stooping down
to the daisies, who were just beginning again, she whispered, “ If you
don’t hold your tongues, I'll pick you!”

There was silence at once, and several pink daisies turned white.

“That’s right!” said the Tiger-lily. ‘The daisies are worst of all.
When one speaks, they all begin together, and it’s enough to make
one wither to hear the way they go on!”

“How is it you can all talk so nicely?” Alice said, hoping to get
it into a better temper by a compliment. ‘I’ve been in many gardens
before, but none. of the flowers could talk.”

“Put your hand down and feel the ground,” said the Tiger-lily.
“Then you'll know why.”

Alice did so. “It’s very hard,” she said; “but I don’t see. what
that has to do with it.”

“In most gardens,” the Tiger-lily said, “they make the beds too
soft —so that the flowers are always asleep.”

This sounded a very good reason, and Alice was quite pleased to
know it. ‘I never thought of that before!” she said.

“In my opinion you never think a¢ ad,” said the Rose severely.

“T never saw anybody that looked stupider,” a Violet said so sud-
denly that Alice quite jumped ; for it hadn’t spoken before.
THE GARDEN OF LIVE FLOWERS. I21I

“ Hold your tongue!” cried the Tiger-lily. “As if you ever saw any-
body! You keep your head under the leaves, and snore away there, till
you know no more what’s going on in the world than if you were a bud!”

‘“Are there any more people in the garden besides me?” Alice
said, not choosing to notice the Rose’s last remark.

“There’s one other flower in the garden that can move about like
you,” said the Rose. ‘I wonder how you do it”— (‘You're always
wondering,” said the Tiger-lily)—‘“ but she’s more bushy than you are.”

“Is she like me?” Alice asked eagerly ; for the thought crossed her
mind, ‘‘ There’s another little girl in the garden somewhere!”

“Well, she has the same awkward shape as you,” the Rose said;
“but she’s redder — and her petals are shorter, I think.”

‘‘Her petals are done up close, almost like a dahlia,” the Tiger-
lily interrupted; “not tumbled about anyhow, like yours.”

‘“But that’s not your fault,” the Rose added kindly; “ you’re begin-
ning to fade, you know—and then one can't help one’s petals getting
a little untidy.”

Alice didn’t like this idea at all; so, to change the subject, she
asked, ‘‘ Does she ever come out here?”

“‘T dare say you'll see her soon,” said the Rose. ‘‘She’s one of the
thorny kind.”

‘“Where does she wear the thorns?” Alice asked with some curi-
osity.

“ Why, all round her head, of course,” the Rose replied. ‘I was
wondering you hadn’t got some too. I thought it was the regular rule.”

“She’s coming!” cried the Larkspur. “I hear her footstep,
thump, thump, along the gravel-walk!”

Alice looked round eagerly, and found that it was the Red Queen.
“‘She’s grown a good deal!” was her first remark. She had indeed;
when Alice first found her in the ashes, she had been only three inches
high — and here she was, half a head taller than Alice herself!

“It’s the fresh air that does it,” said the Rose; ‘“ wonderfully fine
air it is out here.”
I22 THROUGH THE LOOKING—GLASS.

“JT think I'll go and meet her,” said Alice; for though the flowers
were interesting enough, she felt that it would be far grander to have
a talk with a real Queen.

‘“You can’t possibly do that,” said the Rose; ‘‘Z should advise
you to walk the other way.”

This sounded nonsense to Alice, so she said nothing, but set off at
once toward the Red Queen. To her surprise, she lost sight of her in
a moment, and found herself walking in at the front door again.

A little provoked, she drew back, and after looking everywhere for
the Queen (whom she spied out at last, a long way off), she thought
she would try the plan, this time, of walking in the opposite direction.

It succeeded beautifully. She had not been walking a minute before
she found herself face to face with the Red Queen, and full in sight of
the hill she had been so long aiming at.

‘Where do you come from?” said the Red Queen. ‘And where
are you going? Look up, speak nicely, and don’t twiddle your fingers
all the time.”

Alice attended to all these directions, and explained, as well as she
could, that she had lost her way.

“T don’t know what you mean by your way,” said the Queen; “all
the ways about here belong to me— but why did you come out here at
all?’’ she added in a kinder tone. “Courtesy while you’re thinking
what to say. It saves time.”

Alice wondered a little at this, but she was too much in awe of the
Queen to disbelieve it orl try it when I go home,” she thought to
herself ; “the next time I’m a little late for dinner.”

_ “It’s time for you to answer now,” the Queen said, looking at her
watch; “open your mouth a /i#/e wider when you speak, and always
say ‘your Majesty.’”’ :

“I only wanted to see what the garden was like, your Majesty” —

“That’s right,” said the Queen, patting her on the head, which
Alice didn’t like at all; “though when you say ‘ garden,’ — /’ve seen
gardens, compared with which this would be a wilderness.”
THE GARDEN OF LIVE FLOWERS. 123

Alice didn’t dare to argue the point, but went on, “ And I thought
I’d try and find my way to the top of that hill’? —

“When you say ‘hill,’” the Queen interrupted, “7 could show you
hills in comparison with which you'd call that a valley.”

‘No, I shouldn’t,” said Alice, surprised into contradicting her at
last ; “a hill can’t be a valley, you know. That would be nonsense” —

The Red Queen shook her head. “‘ You may call it ‘nonsense’ if
you like,” she said; “but /’ve heard nonsense compared with which
that would be as sensible as a dictionary. if

Alice courtesyed again, as she was afraid from. the Queen’s tone
that she was a /it#le offended, and they walked on in silence till they
got to the top of the little hill. ae!

For some minutes Alice stood without speaking, looking out in all
directions over the country — and a most curious country it was.
There were a number of -
tiny little brooks running
straight across it from side
to side, and the ground be-
tween was divided up into
squares by a number of lit-
tle green hedges reaching
from brook to brook.

“T declare it’s marked

Lg,



out just like a large chess- “ha
board!” Alice said at last. “JUST LIKE A GREAT CHESS-BOARD!”
“There ought to be some men moving about somewhere. And so
there are!” she added in a tone of delight, and her heart began to beat
quick with excitement as she went on. “It’s a great huge game of
chess that’s being played, —all over the world, — if this zs the world at
all, you know. Oh, what fun it is! How I wzs I was one of them! I
wouldn’t mind being a Pawn, if only I might join — though of course
I should 4zke to be a Queen best.”

She glanced rather shyly at the real Queen as she said this, but her
124 THROUGH THE LOOKING—GLASS.

companion only smiled pleasantly, and said, ‘‘ That’s easily managed.
You can be the White Queen’s Pawn, if you like, as Lily’s too young
to play ; and you're in the Second Square to begin with; when you get
to the Eighth Square you'll be a Queen” — Just at this moment,
somehow or other, they began to run.

Alice never could quite make out, in thinking it over afterward, how
it was that they began. All she remembers is that they were running
_ hand in hand, and the’

‘Queen went so fast
it was all she could do
to keep up with her;
and still the Queen
kept crying, ‘‘ Faster!
Faster!” Alice felt she
could not go faster,
though she had no
breath left to say so.
. _ The most curious
“FASTER! FASTER!” CRIED THE QUEEN. part of the thing was
that the trees and the other things round them never changed their
places at all; however fast they went, they never seemed to pass any-
thing. “1 wonder if all the things. move along with us?” thought poor
puzzled Alice. And the Queen seemed to guess her thoughts, for she
cried, ‘‘ Faster! Don’t try to talk!”

Not that Alice had any idea of doing ¢hat. She felt as if she would
never be able to talk again, she was getting so much out of breath ; and
still the Queen cried, ‘‘ Faster! Faster!” and dragged her along. ‘ Are
we nearly there?” Alice managed to pant out at last.

‘Nearly there!” the Queen repeated. ‘‘ Why, we passed it ten
minutes ago! Faster!” And they ran on for a time in silence, with
the wind whistling in Alice’s ears, and almost blowing her hair off her
head, she fancied. .

“Now! Now!” cried the Queen. ‘Faster! Faster!” And they


THE GARDEN OF LIVE FLOWERS. 125

went so fast that at last they seemed to skim through the air, hardly
touching the ground with their feet, till suddenly, just as Alice was get-
ting quite exhausted, they stopped, and she found herself sitting on the
ground breathless and giddy.

The Queen propped her up against a tree, and said kindly, ‘“ You
may rest a little now.”

Alice looked round her in great surprise. ‘Why, I do believe
we've been under this tree the whole time! Everything’s just as it was !”
“Of course it is,” said the Queen; ‘“ what would you have it?”

“Well, in ourx country,” said Alice, still panting a little, “you'd gen-
erally get to somewhere else — if you ram very fast for a long time, as
we've been doing.”

‘A slow sort of country!” said the Queen. ‘“ Now ere, you see,
it takes all the running you can do to keep in the same place. If you
want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!”

“T’d rather not try, please!” said Alice. ‘I’m quite content to stay
here — only I am so hot and thirsty !”

“T know what you'd like!” the Queen said good-naturedly, taking
a little box out of her pocket. ‘“ Have a biscuit ?”

Alice thought it would not be civil to say “No,” though it wasn’t at
all what she wanted. So she took it, and ate it as well as she could;
and it was very dry; and she thought she had never been so nearly
choked in all her life. |

“While you're refreshing yourself,” said the Queen, “ I'll just take
the measurements.” And she took a ribbon out of her pocket, marked
in inches, and began a the ground, and sticking little pegs in
here and there.

« At-the end of two yards,” she said, putting in a peg to mark the
distance, “I shall give you your directions. Have another biscuit?”

‘No, thank you,” said Alice; ‘‘ one’s guzte enough!”

“Thirst quenched, I hope?” said the Queen.

Alice did not know what to say to this, but luckily the ices did
not wait for an answer, but went on. “At the end of three yards I
126 THROUGH THE LOOKING—GLASS,

shall repeat them — for fear of your forgetting them. At the end of
Jour, I shall say good-by. And at the end of five, I shall go!”

She had got all the pegs put in by this time, and Alice looked on
with great interest as she returned to the tree, and then began slowly
walking down the row.

At the two-yard peg she faced round,-and said, ““A pawn goes two
squares in its first move, you know. So you'll go very quickly through
the Third Square, — by railway, I should think, — and you'll find your-
self in the Fourth Square in no time. Well, ¢ha¢ square belongs to
Tweedledum and Tweedledee — the Fifth is mostly water — the Sixth
belongs to Humpty Dumpty —pbut.you make no remark ?”

““J—T didn’t know I had to make one — just then,” Alice faltered
out.

“You should have said,” the Queen went on in a tone of grave re-
proof, “‘ ‘It’s extremely kind of you to tell me all this’ — however, we'll
suppose it said—the Seventh Square is all forest — however, one of
the Knights will show you the way —and in the Eighth Square we’
shall be Queens together, and it’s all feasting and fun!” Alice got up
and courtesyed, and sat down again.

At the next peg the Queen turned again; and this time she said,
‘Speak in French when you can’t think of the English for a thing,
turn out your toes as you walk, and remember who you are!” She
did not wait for Alice to courtesy this time, but walked on quickly to
the next peg, where she turned for a moment to say “ good-by,” and
then hurried on to the last.

How it happened, Alice never knew, but exactly as she came to the
last peg, she was gone. Whether she vanished into the air, or whether
she ran quickly into the wood (‘and she caz run very fast,” thought
Alice), there was no way of guessing; but she was gone; and Alice
began to remember that she was a Pawn, and that it would soon be —
time for her to move.
LOOKING-GLASS INSECTS. 127

CHAPTER III.
LOOKING-GLASS INSECTS.

OF course the first thing to do was to make a grand survey of the
country she was going to travel through. “It’s something very like
learning geography,” thought Alice, as she stood on tiptoe in hopes of
being able to see a little farther. ‘ Principal rivers — there ave none.
Principal mountains — I’m on the only one, but I don’t think it’s got
any name. Principal towns— why, what are those creatures making
honey down there? They can’t be bees — nobody ever saw bees a mile
off, you know ;” and for some time she stood silent, watching one of
them that was bustling about among the flowers, poking its proboscis
into them “just as if it was a regular bee,” thought Alice.

However, this was anything but a regular bee; in fact, it was an ele-
phant—as Alice soon found out, though the idea quite took her breath
away at first. - “ And what enormous flowers they must be!” was her
next idea. ‘Something like cottages with the roofs taken off, and stalks
put to them — and what quantities of honey they must maké! I think
Pll go down and— no, I won’t go just yet,” she went on, checking her-
_ self just as she was beginning to run down the hill, and trying to find
some excuse for turning shy so suddenly. “It'll never do to go down
among them without a good long branch to brush them away — and
what fun it'll be when they ask me how I liked my walk. I shall say,
‘Oh, I liked it well enough’ (here came the favorite little toss of the
head), ‘ only it was so dusty and hot, and the elephants did tease so!’”

‘‘T think I'll go down the other way,” she said after a pause; “and
perhaps I may visit the elephants later on. Besides, I do so want to -
get into the Third Square!”
128 THROUGH THE LOOKING—GLASS.

So with this excuse she ran down the hill, and jumped over the first

of the six little brooks.
* * * * *

* * * _ *

‘Tickets, please!” said the guard, putting his head in at the win-
dow. In a moment everybody was holding out a ticket; they were
about the same size as the people, and quite seemed to fill the carriage.

‘Now, then! Show your ticket, child!” the Guard went on, looking
angrily at Alice. And
a great many voices all
said together (“like
the chorus of a song,”
thought Alice), “Do
not keep him waiting,
child! Why, his time
is worth a thousand
pounds a minute!”

“Pm afraid I have
not got one,” Alice
said in a frightened
tone; ‘there. wasn’t
a ticket-office where
I came from.”. And
again the chorus of voices went on, “There wasn’t room for one where
she came from. The land there is worth a thousand pounds an inch!”

‘Don’t make excuses,” said the Guard; “you should have bought
one from the engine-driver.” And once more the chorus of voices went
on with, ‘The man that drives the engine. Why, the smoke alone is
worth a thousand pounds a puff!”

Alice thought to herself, “Then there’s no use in speaking.” The
voices didn’t join in this time, as she hadn't spoken, but to her great
surprise they all chought in chorus (I hope you understand what ¢hink-

me ns

“TICKETS, PLEASE!” SAID THE GUARD.


LOOKING—GLASS INSECTS. 129

tng im chorus means, for I must confess that Z don’t), ‘ Better say
nothing at all. Language is worth a thousand pounds a word!”

“T shall dream about a thousand pounds to-night, I know I shall!”
thought Alice.

All this time the Guard was looking at her, first through a telescope,
then through a microscope, and: then through an opera-glass. At last
he said, “ You're travelling the wrong way ;” and shut up the window.

“So young a child,” said the gentleman sitting opposite to her (he
was dressed in white paper), “ought to know which way she’s going,
- even if she doesn’t know her own name!”

A Goat, that was sitting next to the gentleman in white, shut his
eyes, and said in a loud voice, “ She ought to know her way to the
ticket-office, even if she doesn’t know her alphabet !”

There was a Beetle sitting next to the Goat (it was a very queer
carriage-full of passengers altogether), and as the rule seemed to be
that they should all speak in turn, Ze went on with, ‘“ She'll have to go
back from here as luggage!”

Alice couldn’t see who was sitting beyond the Beetle, but a hoarse
voice spoke next, “Change engines,” it said; and there it choked,
and was obliged to leave off.

“It sounds like a horse,” Alice thought to herself. And an ex-
tremely small voice, close to her ear, said, «You might make a joke on that —some-
thing about ‘horse’ and ‘ hoarse,’ you know.”

Then a very gentle voice in the distance said, ‘She must be la-
belled ‘ Lass, with care,’ you know ” —

And after that other voices went on (“What a number of people
there are in the carriage!” thought Alice), saying, “She must go by
post, as she’s got a head on her.” ‘She must be sent as a message
by the telegraph.” ‘She must draw the train herself the rest of the
way ;” and so on.

But the gentleman dressed in white paper leaned forward and whis-
pered in her ear, ‘“ Never mind what they all say, my dear, but take a
return ticket every time the train stops.”
130 THROUGH THE LOOKING—GLASS,

“Indeed, I sha’n’t!” Alice said rather impatiently. “1 don’t be-
long to this, railway journey at all. I was in a wood just now, and I

wish I could get back there!”

“You might make a joke on sia,” said the little voice close to her ear;
‘something about ‘you woud if you could,’ you know.’?

“Don’t tease so,” said Alice, looking about in vain to see where

the voice came from; ‘if you’re so anxious to have a joke made, why
don't you make one yourself?”

The little voice sighed deeply. It was very unhappy evidently, and
Alice would have said something pitying to comfort it, “if it would
only sigh like other people!” she thought. But this was such a won-
derfully small sigh that she wouldn’t have heard it at all, if it hadn’t
come guzte close to her ear. The consequence of this was that it
tickled her ear very much, and quite took off her thoughts from the
unhappiness of the poor little creature.

**T know you are a friend,” the little voice went on ; ‘*a dear friend, and an old
friend. And you won’t hurt me, though I a an insect.”

“What kind of insect?” Alice inquired a little anxiously. What
she really wanted to know was whether it could sting or not; but she
thought this wouldn’t be quite a civil question to ask.

“What, then you don’t ”— the little voice began, when it was drowned by
a shrill scream from the engine, and everybody jumped up in alarm,
Alice among the rest.

The Horse, who had put his head out of the window, quietly drew it
in and said, “It’s only a brook we have to jump over.” Everybody
seemed satisfied with this, though Alice felt a little nervous at the idea
of trains jumping at all. ‘However, it'll take us into the Fourth
Square ; that’s some comfort,” she said to herself. In another moment
she felt the carriage rise straight up into the air, and in her fright she
caught at the thing nearest to her hand, which happened to be the
Goat’s beard.
LOOKING—GLASS INSECTS. 131

But. the beard seemed to melt away as she touched it, and she
found herself sitting quietly under a tree; while the Gnat (for that’
was the insect she had been talking to) was balancing itself on a twig
just over her head, and fanning her with its wings.

It certainly was a very large Gnat; “about the size of a chicken,”
Alice thought. Still she couldn’t feel nervous with it, after they had
been talking together so long.

“then you don’t like all insects?” the Gnat went on, as quietly
as if nothing had happened.

“T like them when they can talk,” Alice. said. “None of dices
ever talk where 7 come from.” _ Te :

“What sort of insects do you oe in 1 where you come oe
the Gnat inquired.

“T don’t vesoice in insects’ at all,” Alice ce Sheenice I’m
rather afraid of them — at least, the large kinds.. But I can tell you
the names of some of them.” i

‘“Of course they answer to their names!” the Gnat remarked care-
lessly.

‘“‘T never knew them to do it.”

‘“What’s the use of their having names,” the Gnat said, “if they
won't answer to them?”

“No use to them,” said Alice; ‘but it’s useful to the people that
name them, I suppose. If not, why do things have names at all?”

“T can’t say,” the Gnat replied. ‘Farther on, in the wood down
there, they've got no names; however, go on with your list of insects ;
you're wasting time.”

‘Well, there’s the Horse-fly,” Alice began, counting off the names.
on her fingers.

‘All right,” said the Gnat; “half way up that bush, you'll see a'
Rocking-horse-fly, if you look. It’s made entirely of wood, and gets
about by swinging itself from branch to branch.”

‘“What does it live on?” Alice asked with great curiosity..

“Sap and sawdust,” said the Gnat. ‘Go on with the list.”
132 THROUGH THE LOOKING—GLASS.

Alice looked at the Rocking-horse-fly with great interest, and made
up her mind that it must have been just repainted, it. looked so bright
and sticky ; and then she went on, —

“And there's the Dragon-fly.”

‘Look on the branch above your head,” said the Gnat, ‘and there
you'll find a Snap-dragon-
fly. Its body is made of
plum-pudding, its wings of
holly leaves, and its head is
a raisin burning in brandy.”

«“ And what. does it live
on?” Alice asked as before.

“Frumenty and mince-
pie,” the Gnat replied ; “and
it makes its nest in a Christ-



mas-box.”

“And then there’s the
Butterfly,” Alice went on, after she had taken a good look at. the insect
with its head on fire, and had thought to herself, ‘I wonder if that’s
the reason insects are so fond of flying into candles, — because they
want to turn into Snap-dragon-flies !”

_ “Crawling at your feet,” said the Gnat (Alice drew her feet back in
some alarm), ‘‘ you may observe a Bread-and-butter-fly. Its wings are
thin slices of bread-and-butter, its body is a crust, and its head is a
lump of sugar.”

“And what does 7¢ live on?”

“Weak tea with cream in it.”

A new difficulty came into Alice’s head. ‘“ Supposing it couldn’t
find any?” she suggested.

“Then it would die, of course.’

“ But that must happen very often,” Alice ey Sg

“It always happens,” said the Gnat.

After this Alice was silent for a minute or two, pondering. The

THE ROCKING—HORSE-FLY,
LOOKING—GLASS INSECTS. 133

Gnat amused itself meanwhile by humming round and round her head ;
-at last it settled again, and remarked, ‘‘ 1 suppose you don’t want to lose
your name?”

‘No, indeed,” Alice said a little anxiously.

“And yet I don’t know,” the Gnat went on in a careless tone;
“only think how convenient it would be if you could manage to go
home without it! For instance, if the governess wanted to call you
to your lessons, she would call out, ‘Come here’—and there she
would have to leave off, because there wouldn’t be any name for her to
call, and of course you wouldn't have to go, you know.”

‘That would never do, I’m sure,” said Alice; ‘‘ the governess would
never think of excusing my lessons for that. If she couldn’t remem-
-ber my name, she’d call me 1
‘Miss!’ as the servants do.”

“Well, if she said ‘Miss,’
and. didn’t say anything
more,” the Gnat remarked,



“of course you'd miss your jy
lessons. That’s a joke. I \
wish you had made it.” \

“Why do you wish L
had made it?” Alice asked.
“Tt’s a very bad one.”

But the Gnat only sighed deeply, while two large tears came rolling
down its cheeks.

“You shouldn’t make jokes,” Alice said, “if it makes you so un-
happy.” .

Then came another of those melancholy little sighs, and this time
the poor Gnat really seemed to have sighed itself away; for when Alice
looked up there was nothing whatever to be seen on the twig, and as
-she was getting quite chilly with sitting still so long, she got up and
walked. on.

She very soon came to an open field, with a wood on the other side

THE SNAP—DRAGON-FLY,
‘I will remember, if I can! I’m determined to do it!

4

134 THROUGH THE LOOKING—GLASS.

of it; it looked much darker than the last wood, and Alice felt a /¢¢t/e
timid about going into it. However, on second thoughts she made up
her mind to go on; “for I certainly won't go dack,” she thought to
herself; and this was the only way to the Eighth Square.

‘This must be the wood,” she said thoughtfully to herself, ‘‘ where
things have no names. I wonder what'll become of my name when I
goin? I shouldn’t like to lose it at all—because they’d have to give
me another, and it would be
almost certain to be an ugly
one. But then the fun would
be, trying to find the creature
that had got my old name!
That’s just like the advertise-

=<). ments, you know, when peo-
=~ ple lose dogs— ‘answers to
the name of “Dash ;” had on
a brass collar’ —just fancy
i THE BREAD-AND-BUTTER-FLY. calling everything you met,
‘Alice,’ till one of them SHITE Only they wouldn’t answer at all, if
they were wise.’

She was rambling on in this way when she reached the wood ;
looked very cool and shady. ‘‘ Well, at any rate, it’s a great a
she said as she stepped under the trees, “after being so hot, to get into
the — into the — into what 2” she went on, rather surprised at not be-
ing able to think of the word. ‘I mean to get under the — under the
— under ¢hzs, you know!” putting her hand on the trunk of the tree.
“What does it call itself, I wonder? I do believe it’s got no name —
why, to be sure it hasn’t!” .

‘She stood silent for a minute, thinking; then she suddenly began
again. “Then it really Zas happened, after all! And now, who am I!
!” But being de-
termined didn’t help her much, and all she could say, after a great deal
of puzzling, was, “ L. I £zow it begins with L!”


LOOKIN G—GLASS INSECTS. 135

Just then a Fawn came wandering by. It looked at Alice with its
large, gentle eyes, but didn’t seem at all frightened. “Here, then!
Here, then!” Alice said, as she held out her hand and tried to stroke
it; but it only started back a little, and then stood looking at her again.

“What do you call yourself?” the Fawn said at last. Such a woft,
sweet voice it had!

“I wish I knew!” thought poor Alice. She answered, rather sadly,
“Nothing, just now.”

“Think again,” it said; ‘that won’t do.”

Alice thought, but nothing came of it. “ Please, would you tell me
what you call yourself?” she said
timidly. “I think that might help
a little.”

“Tl tell you if you'll come a
little farther on,” the Fawn said.
‘“‘T can’t remember here.”

So they walked on through the
wood together, Alice with her arms
clasped lovingly round the soft neck
of the Fawn, till they came out into
another open field; and here the
Fawn gave a sudden bound into the
air, and shook itself free from Alice’s
arms. Sa =

“Tm a Fawn!” it cried out ina
voice of delight; “and dear, me! “WHAT DO YOU CALL YOURSELF?” SAID THE FAWN.
you're a human child!” A sudden look of alarm came into its beauti-
ful brown eyes, and in another moment it had darted away at full speed.

Alice stood looking after it, almost ready to cry with vexation at
having lost her dear little fellow-traveller so suddenly. “ However, I
know my name now,” she said; “ that’s some comfort. Alice — Alice —
I won’t forget it again. And now, which of these finger-posts ought I
to follow, I wonder?”


13 6 THROUGH THE LOOKING-—GLASS.

It was not a very difficult question to answer, as there was only one
road through the wood, and the two finger-posts both pointed along it.
“T’ll settle it,” Alice said to herself, ‘when the road divides, and they
point different ways.”

But this did not seem likely to happen. She went on and on, a
long way; but wherever the road divided there were sure to be two
finger-posts pointing the same way, one marked “TO TWEEDLE-_
DUM’S HOUSE,” and the other “TO THE HOUSE OF TWEE-.
DLEDEE.” ;

“‘T do believe,” said Alice at last, ‘‘ that they live in the same house!
I wonder I never thought of that before; but I can’t stay there long.
I'll just call, and say ‘How d’ye do?’ and ask them the way out of the.
wood. If I could only get to the Eighth Square before it gets dark!”
So she wandered on, talking to herself as she went, till, on turning a
sharp corner, she came upon two fat little men, so suddenly that she
could not help starting back; but in another moment she recovered her-
self, ‘feeling sure that they must be —
TWEEDLEDUM AND TWEEDLEDEE. 137

CHAPTER IV.
TWEEDLEDUM AND TWEEDLEDEE.

THEY were standing under a tree, each with an arm round the other’s
neck; and Alice knew which was which in a moment, because one of
them had ‘‘DUM” embroidered on his collar, and the other ‘‘ DEE.”
“I suppose they’ve each got ‘TWEEDLE’ round at the back of the
collar,” she said to herself.

They stood so still _
she quite forgot they
were. alive, and was



just looking round
to see if the word
“TWEEDLE” was
written at the back of
each collar, when she
was startled by a voice
coming from the one
marked ‘ DUM.”

“Tf you think we
are waxworks,” said
he, “you ought to pay, you.
know. Waxworks weren’t made to be looked at for nothing, no how!”

“ Contrariwise,” added the one marked “DEE,” “if you think
we're alive, you ought to speak.”

“I’m sure I’m very sorry,” was all Alice could say; for the words
of the old song kept ringing through her head like the ticking of a
‘clock, and she could hardly help saying them out loud : —

TWEEDLEDUM AND TWEEDLEDEE,


138 THROUGH THE LOOKING—GLASS.

“ Tweedledum and Tweedledee Just then flew down a monstrous crow,
Agreed to have a battle; As black as a tar-barrel ; ;
For Tweedledum said Tweedledee Which frightened both the heroes so,
Had spoiled his nice new rattle. _ They quite forgot their quarrel.”

“T know what you're thinking about,” said Tweedledum ; “but it
isn’t so, nohow.”

“ Contrariwise,” continued Tweedledum, “if it was so, it might be;
and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn’t, it ain’t. That’s logic.”

“Twas thinking,” Alice said very politely, “ which is the best way
out of this wood; it’s getting so dark. ‘Would you tell me, please?”

- But the fat little men only looked at each other and grinned.
-- They looked so exactly like a couple of great schoolboys that Alice
couldn’t help pointing her fingerat Tweedledum and saying, ‘“‘ First Boy!”

“ Nohow!” Tweedledum cried out briskly, and shut his mouth up
again with a snap. :

“Next Boy!” said Alice, passing on to Tweedledee, though she felt
quite certain he would only shout out, “ Contrariwise!” and so he did.

“You've begun wrong!” cried Tweedledum. ‘The first thing ina
visit is to say ‘ How d’ye do?’ and shake hands!” And here the two
brothers gave each other a hug, and then they held out the two hands
that were -free, to shake hands with her.

Alice did not like shaking hands with either of them first, for fear of
hurting the other one’s feelings ; so, as the best way out of the difficulty,
she took hold of both hands at once — the next moment they were dan-
cing round inaring. This seemed quite natural (she remembered after-
ward), and she was not even surprised to hear music playing; it seemed
to come from the tree under which they were dancing, and it was done
(as well as she could make it out) by the branches rubbing one across
the other, like’ fiddles and fiddlesticks.

“But it certainly was funny” (Alice said afterward, when she was
telling her sister.the history of all this), “to find myself singing, ‘/ere
we go round the Mulberry bush. 1 don’t know when I began it, but
somehow I felt as if I’d been singing it a long, long time!”
TWEEDLEDUM AND. TWEEDLEDEE. 139

The other two dancers were fat, and very soon out ot breath. “Four
times round is enough for one dance,” Tweedledum panted out; and
they left off dancing as suddenly as they had begun: the music stopped
at the same moment. |

Then they let go of Alice’s hands, and stood looking at her fora
minute. There was a rather awkward pause, as Alice didn’t know how
to begin a conversation with people she had just been dancing with.
“Tt would never do to say ‘ How d’ye do?’ zow,” she said to herself.
“We seem to have got beyond that, somehow.”

‘“‘T hope you’re not much tired?” she said at last.

‘““Nohow. And thank you.very much for asking,” said Tweedledum.

‘So much obliged!” added Tweedledee. ‘‘ You like poetry?”

“Vees, pretty well — some poetry,” Alice said doubtfully. ‘* Would
you tell me which road leads out of the wood?”

“What shall I repeat to her?” said Tweedledee, looking round at
Tweedledum with great solemn eyes, and not noticing Alice’s question.

“<« The Walrus and the Carpenter’ is the longest,” Tweedledum re-
plied, giving his brother an affectionate hug; and yee began:—

ancy mt ae sun was Sea

Here pate a engured to interrupt him. “If it’s very long,” she said
as politely as she could, ‘‘ would you please tell me first which road” —
Tweedledee smiled gently, and began again : —

“The sun was shining on the sea, The sea was wet as wet could be,

Shining with all his might; The sands were dry as dry.

He did his very best to make You could not see a cloud, because
The billows smooth and bright — No cloud was in the sky;

And this was odd, because it was _ No birds were flying overhead —
The middle of the night. There were no birds to fly.

The moon was shining sulkily, The Walrus and the Carpenter
Because she thought the sun Were walking close at hand;

Had got no business to be there They wept like anything to see
After the day was done — Such quantities of sand ;

‘It’s very rude of him,’ she said, ‘Tf this were only cleared away,’

‘To come and spoil the fun !’ They said, ‘it would be grand!’
Pe ee ae

140 THROUGH THE

‘If seven maids with seven mops
Swept it for half a year,

Do you suppose,’ the Walrus said,
‘That they could get it clear?’

‘I doubt it,’ said the Carpenter,
And shed a bitter tear.

“Oysters, come and walk with us!’
The Walrus did beseech.

‘A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,
Along the briny beach;

We cannot do with more than four,
To give a hand to each.’

LOOKING—GLASS.

Four other Oysters followed them,
And yet.another four;

And thick and fast they came at last,
And more, and more, and more —
All hopping through the frothy waves,

And scrambling to the shore.

The Walrus and the Carpenter
Walked on a mile or so,

And then they rested on a rock
Conveniently low ;

And all the little Oysters stood .
And waited in a row.



THE WALRUS AND THE CARPENTER.

The eldest Oyster looked at him,
But never a word he said;

The eldest Oyster winked his eye,
And shook his. heavy head —
Meaning to say he did not choose

To leave the oyster-bed.

But four young Oysters hurried up,
All eager for the treat ;
Their coats were brushed, their faces
washed,
Their shoes were clean and neat —_
And this was odd, because, you know,
They hadn’t any feet.

‘The time has come,’ the WajJrus said,
‘To talk of many things ;
Of shoes—and ships—and sealing-
wax —
Of cabbages — and kings —
And why the sea is boiling hot —
And whether pigs have wings.’

‘But wait a bit,’ the Oysters cried,
‘ Before we have our chat;

For some of us are out of breath,
And all of us are fat!’

‘No hurry!’ said the Carpenter.
They thanked him much for. that.
TWEEDLEDUM AND TWEEDLEDEE.



141

“BUT WAIT A BIT,’ THE OYSTERS CRIED,

‘A loaf of bread,’ the Walrus said,
‘Is what we chiefly ‘need ;

Pepper and vinegar besides
Are very good indeed —

Now if you’re ready, Oysters dear,
We can begin to feed.”

fi

eee



Sy



‘It was so kind of you to come!
And you are very nice!’

The Carpenter’said nothing but
‘Cut us another slice - .

I wish you were not quite so deaf —
I’ve had to.ask you twice !’

“ THEY’D EATEN EVERY ONE.”

‘But not on us!’ the Oysters cried,
Turning a little blue;

‘After such kindness, that would be
A dismal thing to do!’

‘The night is fine,’ the Walrus said,
‘Do you admire the view?

‘It seems a shame,’ the Walrus said,
‘To play them such a trick,

- After we’ve brought them out so far,

And made them trot so quick !’
The Carpenter said nothing but
‘The butter’s spread too thick!’
142 THROUGH THE. LOOKING—GLASS.

‘I weep for you,’ the Walrus said; ’£O Oysters,’ said the Carpenter,

‘I deeply sympathize. ’ “You've hada pleasant run !
With sobs and tears he sorted out ' Shall we be trotting“home again ?’
Those of the largest size, But answer came there noné —
Holding his pocket-handkerchief . And _-this was scarcely odd, because

Before his streaming eyes. They’d eaten every one.”

‘“‘T like the Walrus best,” paid Alice = me vee you see, he was a
little sorry for the poor oysters.”

“He ate more than the- Gunner fener ? ‘aid -Tweedledee.
“You see, he held his handkerchief in front, so that the Carpenter
couldn’t count how many he took. Contrariwise.”

“That was mean!” Alice said indignantly. “ Then I like the Car-
penter best — if he didn’t eat so many as the Walrus.”

‘But he ate as many as he could get,” said Tweedledum.

This was a puzzler.
After a pause, Alice began,
“Well! They were doch
very unpleasant charac-

“ters? — Here she checked
herself in some alarm, at
hearing something that
sounded to her like the puff-
ing of a large steam-engine
‘in the wood near them,
‘though she feared it was
: more likely to be a wild
beast. “Are there any lions or tigers about here?” she-asked timidly.

“It’s only the Red King snoring,” said Tweedledee.

“Come and look at him!” the brothers cried; and they each took
one of Alice’s hands, and led her up to where the King was sleeping.

“Isn’t he a Zovely sight?” said Tweedledum.

Alice couldn’t say honestly that he was. He had-a tall red night-
cap on, with a tassel, and he was lying crumpled up into a sort of





Ni
ae
AS Sea NY

AK



THE RED KING SNORING,

,
TWEEDLEDUM AND TWEEDLEDEE. 143

untidy heap, and snoring loud — “ fit to snore his head off!” as Twee-
dledum remarked.

“ Pm afraid he'll catch cold with lying on the damp grass,” said Alice,
who was a very thoughtful little girl.

‘“He’s dreaming now,” said Tweedledee; “and what do you think
he’s dreaming about?”

Alice said, ‘* Nobody can guess that.” |

‘Why, about you /” Tweedledee’ exclaimed, clapping his hands
triumphantly. ‘And if he left off dreaming about you, where do you
suppose you'd be?”

‘“Where I am now, of course,” said Alice. i

“Not you!” Tweedledee retorted contemptuously. “ You'd be no-
where. Why, you're only a sort of ones in his dream!”

“If that there King was to wake,” added Tweedledum, “ you ‘dg go
out —bang! just like a candle!”

“T shouldn’t!” Alice exclaimed indignantly. ‘‘ Besides, if 7’ only
a sort of thing in his dream, what are you, I should like to know? re

“Ditto,” said Tweedledum.

“Ditto, ditto!” cried Tweedledee.

He shouted this so loud that Alice couldn’t help saying, “ Hush!
you'll be waking. him, I’m afraid, if you make so much noise.”

“Well, it’s no use your talking about waking him,” said ayecuie!
dum, ‘when you're only one of the things in his dream. You know
very well you’re not real.”

“I am real!” said Alice; and began to cry.

“You won't make yourself a bit realler by crying,” Tweedledee
remarked, ‘“There’s nothing to cry about.”

“If I wasn’t real,” Alice said, half laughing through her tears, it
all:seemed so ridiculous, “I shouldn’t be able to cry.”

“IT hope you don’t suppose those are real téars?” Tweedledum
interrupted in a tone of great contempt.

‘‘T know they’re talking nonsense,” Alice thought to herself; “and
it’s foolish to cry about it.” So she brushed away her tears, and went
144 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS.

on as cheerfully as she could, “ At any rate, I’d better be getting out
of the wood, for really it’s coming on very dark. Do you think it’s
going to rain?”

Tweedledum spread a large umbrella over himself and his brother,
and looked up into it.
‘“No, I don’t think it is,”
he said; ‘‘at least, not
under here. Nohow.”

“But it may rain
outside ?”

_ “Tf it chooses — it
Ie said Tweedledee;.

‘we've no objection.
Contrariwise.”

‘Selfish things!”
thought Alice; ‘and she
was just going to say
‘“ Good-night,” and leave them, when Tweedledum sprang out. from
under the umbrella, and seized her by the wrist.

“Do you see that?” he said, in a voice choking with passion, and
his eyes grew large and yellow all in a moment, as he pointed with a
trembling finger at a small white thing lying under the tree.

“It’s only a rattle,” Alice said, after a careful examination of the
little white thing. “Not a rattleszake, you know,” she added hastily,
thinking that he was frightened; ‘only an old rattle quite old and
broken.”

“T knew it was!” cried Tweedledum, beginning to stamp about
wildly and tear his hair. ‘It’s spoiled, of course!” Here he looked
at Tweedledee, who immediately sat down on the ground, and tried to
hide himself under the umbrella.

Alice laid her hand upon his arm, and said ina soothing tone, “ You
needn’t be so angry about an old rattle.”

“But it isn’t old!” Tweedledum cried in a greater fury than ever.



“1 KNEW IT WAS!” CRIED TWEEDLEDUM.
TWEEDLEDUM AND TWEEDLEDEE. 145

“It’s new, I tell you—I bought it yesterday — my nice New RATTLE!”
and his voice rose to a perfect scream. |

All this time Tweedledee was trying his best to fold up the umbrella
with himself in it; which was such an extraordinary thing to do that
it quite took off Alice’s attention from the angry brother. But he
couldn’t quite succeed ; and it ended in his rolling over, bundled up
in the umbrella, with only his head out, and there he lay, opening and
shutting his mouth and his large eyes, “looking more like a fish than
anything else,” Alice thought.

“Of course you agree to have a battle,’ Tweedledum said in a
calmer tone.

“I suppose so,” the other sulkily replied, as he crawled out of the
umbrella; “only she must help us to dress up, you know.”

So the two brothers went off hand-in-hand into the wood, and re-
turned in a minute with their arms full of things, such as bolsters, blan-
kets, hearth-rugs, table-cloths, dish-covers, and coal-scuttles. “I hope
you're a good hand at pinning and tying strings,” Tweedledum remarked.
‘Every one of these things has got to go on, somehow or other.”

Alice said afterward she had never seen such a fuss made about any-
thing in all her life, the way those two bustled about; and the quantity
of things they put on, and the trouble they gave her in tying strings
and fastening buttons. “ Really, they'll be more like bundles of old
clothes than anything else, by the time they’re ready!” she said to her-
self, as she arranged a bolster round the neck of Tweedledee, “ to keep
his head from being cut off,” as he said.

“You know,” he added gravely, “it is one of the most serious things
that can possibly happen to one in a battle, —to get one’s head cut off.”

Alice laughed loud; but she managed to turn it into a cough, for
fear of hurting his feelings.

‘Do I look very pale?” said Tweedledum, coming up to have his
helmet tied on. (He cadled it a helmet, though it certainly looked much
more like a saucepan.)

‘‘ Well — yes —a /i##le,” Alice replied gently.
146 THROUGH THE LOOKING-—GLASS.

I’m very brave generally,” he went on in a low voice; “only to-
day I happen to have a headache.”

“And /’ve got a toothache!” said Tweedledee, who had overheard
the remark. ‘I’m far worse than you!”

“Then you'd better not fight to-day,” said Alice, ee it a good
opportunity to make peace.

“We must have a bit of a fight; but I don’t care about going on
long,” said Tweedledum. ‘‘ What’s the time now?”

Tweedledee looked at his watch, and said, “ Half-past four.”

“Let's fight till six, and then have dinner,” said Tweedledum.

“Very well,” the other said rather sadly; “and ske can watch us —
only you'd better not come very close,” he added; “I generally hit
; everything I can see
—when I get really
excited.”

“And J hit every-
thing within reach,”
cried Tweedledum,
“whether I can see
iOt NOtW a

Alice laughed.
“You must hit the
trees pretty often, I
should think,” she



said.
ALICE PUTS ON THE ARMOR.
Tweedledum
looked round him with a satisfied. smile. ‘I don’t suppose,” he said,

“there'll be a tree left standing for ever so far round, by the time we’ve
finished !”

“And all about a rattle!” said Alice, still hoping to make them a
Zittle ashamed of fighting for such a trifle.

“IT shouldn’t have minded it so much,” said Tweedledum, “if it
hadn’t been a new one.”
TWEEDLEDUM AND TWEEDLEDEE. 1497

“‘T wish the monstrous crow would come!” thought Alice.

‘“There’s only one sword, you know,” Tweedledum said to his
brother; ‘but you can have the umbrella — it’s quite as sharp. Only
we must begin quick. It’s getting as dark as it can.”

“And darker,” said Tweedledee. —

It was getting dark so suddenly that Alice thought there must be a
thunderstorm coming on. ‘What a thick black cloud that is!” she
said. ‘And how fast it comes! Why, I do believe it’s got wings!”

““Tt’s the crow!” Tweedledum cried out in a shrill voice of alarm ;
and the two brothers took to their heels, and were out of sight in a
moment.

Alice ran a little way into the wood, and stopped under a large tree.

“Tt can never get at me fere,” she thought; “it’s far too large to
squeeze itself in among the trees. But I wish it wouldn’t flap its wings
so — it makes quite a hurricane in the wood — here’s somebody's shawl
being blown away!”
148 THROUGH THE LOOKING—GLASS.

CHAPTER V.
WOOL AND WATER. » 2

Sue caught the shawl as she spoke, and looked about for the owner.

In another moment the White Queen came running wildly through the

wood, both arms stretched out wide, as

if she were flying, and Alice very civ-
illy went to meet her with the shawl.

“T’m very glad I happened to be
in the way,” Alice said, as she helped
her to put on her shawl again.

The White Queen only looked at
her in a helpless, frightened sort of
way, and kept repeating something in
a whisper to herself that sounded like
“ bread-and-butter, bread-and-butter ;”
and Alice felt that if there was to be
any conversation at all, she must man-
age it herself. So she began rather
timidly, ‘Am I addressing the White

ALICE HELPS THE WHITE QUEEN. ”
Queen?



“Well, yes, if you call that a-dressing,” the Queen said. ‘It isn’t
my notion of the thing at all.”

Alice thought it would never do to have an argument at the very
beginning of their conversation, so she smiled, and said, “If your Maj-
esty will only tell me the right way to begin, I’ll do it as well as I can.”

“ But I don’t want it done at all!” groaned the poor Queen. “I’ve
been a-dressing myself for the last two hours.”
WOOL AND WATER. 149

It would have been all the better, as it seemed to Alice, if she had
got some one else to dress her, she was so dreadfully untidy. ‘‘ Every
single thing’s crooked,” Alice thought to herself; ‘and she’s all over
pins! May I put your shawl straight for you?” she added aloud.

“1 don’t know what’s the matter with it!” the Queen said in a mel-
ancholy voice. ‘It’s out of temper, I think. I’ve pinned it here, and
I’ve pinned it there, but there’s no pleasing it!”

“It can't go straight, you know, if you pin it all on one side,” Alice
said, as she gently put it right for her; ‘and, dear me, what a state
your hair is in!”

“The brush has got entangled in it!” the Queen said with a sigh.
‘And I lost the comb yesterday.”

Alice carefully released the brush, and did her best to get the re
into order. ‘‘ Come, you look rather better now!” she said, after alter-
ing most of the pins. ‘But really, you should have a lady’s-maid! ”

“Tm sure I'll take you with pleasure!” the Queen said. ‘“Two-
pence a week, and jam every other day.”

Alice couldn’t help laughing, as she said, ‘I don’t want you to hire
me —and I don’t care for jam.”

“Tt’s very good jam,” said the Queen.

“Well, I don’t want any /o-day, at any rate.”

“You couldn’t have it if you dd want it,’ the Queen said. ‘The
rule is, jam to-morrow and jam yesterday — but never jam to-day.”

“ Tt must come sometimes to ‘jam to-day,” Alice objected.

‘No, it can’t,” said the Queen. ‘It’s jam every other day; to-day
isn’t any other day, you know.”

“T don’t understand you,” said Alice. ‘It’s dreadfully confusing!”

“That’s the effect of living backward,” the Queen said kindly; “it
always makes one a little giddy at first”

“Living backward!” Alice repeated in great astonishment. ‘I
never heard of such a thing!”

“but there’s one great advantage in it,—that one’s memory
works both ways.”
150 _ THROUGH THE LOOKING—GLASS.

“Tm sure mzne only works one way,” Alice remarked. “I can’t
remember things before they happen.”

‘It’s a poor sort of memory that only works backward,” the Queen
remarked.

“ What sort of things fc you remember best?” Alice ventured to ask.

“Oh, things that happened the week after next,” the Queen replied
in a careless tone. ‘‘ For instance, now,” she went on, sticking a large
piece of plaster on her finger as she spoke, ‘“‘there’s the King’s Messen-
ger. He’s in prison now, being punished;
and the trial doesn’t even begin till next
Wednesday; and of course the crime comes
last 6f all.”

‘Suppose he never commits the crime?”
said Alice.

“That would be all the better, wouldn’t
it?” the Queen said, as.she bound the
plaster round her finger with a bit of ribbon.

Alice felt there was no denying ¢hat.
‘Of course it would be all the better,” she
said; “but it wouldn’t be all the better his
being punished.”

“You're wrong ¢here, at any rate,” said
the Queen; “were you ever punished ?”

“Only for faults,” said Alice.

“And you were all the better for it, I know!” the Queen said tri-
umphantly.

“Yes; but then I fed done the things I was punished for,” said
yaice ma on makes all the difference.”

‘But if you Aadnz’t done them,” the Queen said, “ that would have
been better still; better and better and better!’ Her voice went
higher with each “better,” till it got quite to a squeak at last.

Alice was just beginning to say, ‘‘ There’s a mistake somewhere ” —
when the Queen began screaming, so loud that she had to leave the



“THE CRIME COMES LAST OF ALL.”
‘WOOL AND WATER. 151

sentence unfinished. ‘Oh, oh, oh!” shouted the Queen, shaking her
hand about as if she wanted to shake it off. ‘ My finger’s bleeding !
Oh, oh, oh, oh!”

Her screams were so exactly like the whistle of a steam-engine that
Alice had to hold both her hands over her ears.

“What zs the matter?” she said, as soon as there was a chance of
making herself heard. ‘ Have you pricked your finger?”

“J haven’t pricked it yet,” he Queen said ; “ but I soon shall — oh,
oh, oh!”

‘When do you expect to do it?” Alice asked, feeling very much
‘inclined to laugh.

‘“When I fasten my,;shawl again,” the poor Queen groaned out ;
“the brooch will come undone directly. Oh, oh!” As she said the
words the brooch flew open, and the Queen ee wildly at it, and
tried to clasp it again.

“Take care!” cried Alice. ‘“ You're holding it all crooked!” And
she caught at the brooch; but it was too late; the pin had slipped, and
the Queen had pricked her finger.

‘That accounts for the bleeding, you see,” she said to Alice with a
smile. ‘‘ Now you understand the way things happen here.”

‘But why don’t you scream now?” Alice asked, holding her hands
ready to put over her ears. again.

“Why, I've done all the screaming already,” said the Queen.
“What would be the good of having it all over again?”

By this time it was getting light. “The crow must have flown
away, I think,” said Alice; ‘I’m so glad it’s gone. I thought it was
the night coming on.” ;

“JT wish Z could manage to be glad!” the Queen said. ‘“ Only I
never can remember the rule. You must be very happy, living in this
wood, and being glad whenever you like!”

“Only it is so very lonely here!” Alice said in a melancholy voice ;
and at the thought of her loneliness two large tears came rolling down
her cheeks.
152 THROUGH THE LOOKING—GLASS.

‘Oh, don’t go on like that!” cried the poor Queen, wringing her
hands in despair. ‘Consider what a great girl you are. Consider
what a long way you've come to-day. Consider what o'clock it is.
Consider anything, only don’t cry !

Alice could not help laughing at this, even in the midst of her tears.
“Can you keep from crying by considering things?” she asked.

‘““That’s the way it’s done,” the Queen said with great decision;
“nobody can do two things at once, you know. Let’s consider your
age to begin with. How old are you?”

‘“‘T’m seven and a half exactly.”

“You needn’t say ‘exactly,’” the Queen remarked; “1 can believe
it without that. Now I'll give you something to believe. I’m just one
hundred and one, five months, and a day.”

“ T can’t believe ¢hat,”’ said Alice.

”

“Can’t you?” the Queen said in a pitying tone. ‘Try again;
draw a long breath, and shut your eyes.”
Alice laughed. ‘ There’s no use trying,” she said; “one can’t

believe impossible things.”

“T dare say you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen.
‘When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why,
sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before break-
fast. There goes the shawl again!”

The brooch had come undone as she spoke, and a sudden gust of
wind blew the Queen’s shawl across a little brook. The Queen spread
~ out her arms again, and went flying after it, and this time she succeeded

in catching it for herself. ‘Ive got it!” she cried in a triumphant
‘tone. ‘‘ Now you shall see me pin it on again, all by myself! ”
“Then I hope your finger is better now,” Alice said very politely,
as she crossed the little brook after the Queen.
* % % * *
‘Oh, much better,” cried the Queen, her voice rising into a squeak
WOOL AND WATER. 153

as she went on. “Much be-etter! be-etter! be-e-e-etter! be-e-ehh!”
The last word ended in a long bleat, so like a sheep that Alice quite
started.

She looked at the Queen, who seemed to have suddenly wrapped
herself up in wool. Alice rubbed her eyes, and looked again. She
couldn’t make out what had happened at all. Was she ina shop? And
was that really — was it really
a sheep that was sitting on the
other side of the counter?
Rub as she would, she could.
make nothing more of it;. she
was in a little dark shop, lean-
ing with her elbows on the
counter, and opposite to her
was an old Sheep, sitting in
an armchair knitting, and every
now and then leaving off to
look at her through a great
pair of spectacles.

‘“What is it you want to
buy?” the Sheep said at last,
looking up for a moment from
her knitting.

“T don’t guzte know yet,”
Alice said very gently. “I
should like to look all round me first, if I might.”

“You may look in front of you, and on both sides, if you like,” said
the Sheep; ‘but you can’t look a round you—unless you've got
eyes at the back of your head.”

But these, as it happened, Alice had zo¢ got; so she contented her-
self with turning round, looking at the shelves as she came to them.

The shop seemed to be full of all manner of curious things; but
the oddest part of it all was that whenever she looked hard at any



“ARE YOU A CHILD OR A TEETOTUM?” ASKED THE SHEEP.
154 THROUGH THE LOOKING—GLASS.

shelf, to make out exactly what it had on it, that particular shelf was
always quite empty, though the others round it were crowded as full
as they could hold. |

“Things flow about so here,” she said at last in-a plaintive tone,
after she had spent a minute or so in vainly pursuing a large bright i
thing, that looked sometimes like a doll and sometimes like a work-
box, and was always in the shelf next above the one she was looking
at. ‘‘And this one is the most provoking of all—but I'll tell you
what,” she added, as a sudden thought struck her, “I'll follow it up
to the very top shelf of all. It'll puzzle it to go through the ceiling,
Mexpect«

But even this plan failed. The “ thing” went through the ceiling as
quietly as possible, as if it were quite used to it.

‘“Are you a child or a teetotum?” the Sheep asked, as she took
up another pair of needles. “You'll make me giddy soon, if you go
on turning round like that.” She was now working with fourteen pairs
at once, and Alice couldn’t help looking at her in great astonishment.

“How caz-she knit with so many?” the puzzled child thought to
herself. ‘She gets more and more like a porcupine every minute.”

“Can you row?” the Sheep asked, handing her a pair of knitting-
needles as she spoke.

“Yes, a little; but not on land—and not with peedieey — Alice
was beginning to say, when suddenly the needles turned into oars in
her hands, and she found that they were in a little boat, gliding along
between banks; so there was nothing for it but to do her best.

“Feather!” cried the Sheep, as she took up another pair of needles.

This didn’t sound like a remark that needed any answer, so Alice
said nothing, but pulled away. There was something very queer about
the water, she thought, as every now and then oe oars got fast in it,
cand would hardly come out again.

‘Feather! Feather!” the Sheep cried again, taking more needles.
“You'll be catching a crab directly.”

“A dear little crab!” thought Alice. “I should like that.”
WOOL AND WATER. 155

“Didn’t you hear me say ‘Feather’?” the Sheep cried angrily,
taking up quite a bunch of needles.

uf Indeed I did,”, said Alice; “‘you’ve said it very often, and very
loud. Please, where are the crabs?”

‘In the water, of course!” said the Sheep, sticking some of the
~ needles: into her hair,
as her hands were
full. “Feather, I
say!”

‘« Why do you say
‘Feather’ so often?”
Alice asked at last,
rather vexed. “I’m
not a bird!”

Vou are,” said
the Sheep; ‘you're
a little goose.”

This offended
Alice a little, so there
was no more conver-
sation for a minute or
two, while the boat
glided gently on,
sometimes among
beds of weeds (which
made the oars stick



“you’LL BE CATCHING A CRAB DIRECTLY,” SAID THE SHEEP.

fast in the water worse
than ever), and sometimes under trees, but always with the same tall
river-banks frowning over their heads.

‘Oh, please! there are some scented rushes!” Alice cried in a
sudden transport of delight. ‘There really are—and such beau-
ties!” c

“You needn’t say ‘ please’ to me about ’em,” the Sheep said, with-


I 56 THROUGH THE .LOOKING-GLASS.

out looking up from her knitting ; ‘I didn’t put ’em there, and I’m. not
going to take ’em away.”

‘“No, but I meant — please, may we wait and pick some?” Alice
pleaded. ‘If you don’t mind stopping the boat for a minute.”

‘“ How am / to stop it?” said the Sheep. “If you leave off rowing,
it’ll stop of itself.”

So the boat was left to drift down the stream as it would, till it
glided gently in among the waving rushes. And then the little sleeves
were carefully rolled up, and the little arms were plunged in elbow-
deep, to get hold of the rushes a good long way down before breaking
them off; and for a while Alice forgot all about the Sheep and the
knitting, as she bent over the side of the boat, with just the ends of
her tangled hair dipping into the water, while with bright, eager eyes
she caught at one bunch after another of the darling scented rushes.

‘‘T only hope the boat won’t tipple over!” she said to herself.
‘Oh, what a lovely one! Only I couldn’t quite reach it.” And it
certainly azd seem a little provoking (‘almost as if it happened on
purpose,” she thought), that though she managed to pick plenty of
beautiful rushes as the boat glided by, there was always a more lovely
one that she couldn’t reach.

“The prettiest are always farther!” she said at last, with a sigh at
the obstinacy of the rushes in growing so far off, as with flushed
cheeks and dripping hair and hands, she scrambled back into her place,
_and began to arrange her new found treasures.

What mattered it to her just then that the rushes had begun to fade,
and to lose all their scent and beauty, from the very moment that she
_ picked them? Even real scented rushes, you know, last only a very
little while, and these, being dream-rushes, melted away almost like
snow, as they lay in heaps at her feet; but Alice hardly noticed this,
there were so many other curious things to think about.

They hadn’t gone much farther before the blade of one of the oars
got fast in the water and wouddn’t come out again (so Alice explained
it afterward) ; and the consequence was that the handle of it caught her
WOOL AND WATER. 157

under the chin; and in spite of a series of little shrieks of ‘Oh, oh,
oh!” from poor Alice, it swept her straight off thé seat, and down
among the heap of rushes.

However, she wasn’t a bit hurt, and was soon up again. The Sheep
went on with her knitting all the while, just as if nothing had hap-
pened. ‘“ That was a nice crab you caught!” she remarked, as Alice
got back into her place, very much relieved to find herself still in the
boat.

“Was it? I didn’t see it,” said Alice, peeping cautiously over the
side of the boat into the dark water. ‘I wish it hadn’t let go—lI
should so like a little crab to take home with me!” But the Sheep
only laughed scornfully, and went on with her knitting.

“ Are there many crabs here?” said Alice.

Crabs and all sorts of things,” said the Sheep; “plenty of choice,
only make up your mind. Now, what do you want to buy?”

“To buy!” Alice echoed in a tone that was half astonished and
half frightened ; for the oars and the boat and the river had vanished all
in a moment, and she was back again in the little dark shop.

“T should like to buy an egg, please,” she said timidly. ‘“ How do

gE,
you sell them?”
“Fivepence farthing for one, twopence for two,” the Sheep replied.
“Then two are cheaper than one?” Alice said in a surprised tone,
taking out her purse.
” said the Sheep.
“Then F'll have one, please,” said Alice, as she put the money
down on the counter. For she thought to herself, “They mightn’t be

at all nice, you know.”

‘Only you mst eat them both, if you buy two,

The Sheep took the money, and put it away in a box; then she
said, “I never put things into people’s hands — that would never do ;
you must get it for yourself.” And so saying, she went off to the
other end of the shop, and set the egg upright on a shelf.

“T wonder why it wouldn’t do?” thought Alice, as she groped her
way among the tables and chairs; for the shop was very dark toward
158 THROUGH THE LOOKING—GLASS.

the end. “The egg seems to get farther away the more I walk toward _
it. Let me see, is this a chair? Why, it’s got branches, I declare!
How very odd to find trees growing here! And actually here’s a little
brook! Well, this is the very-queerest shop I ever saw!”

% % % * *

* % * * *
So she went on, wondering more and more at every step, as every-
thing turned into a tree the moment she came up to it, and she quite
expected the egg to do the same.
HUMPTY DUMPTY. I59

CHAPTER VI.
HUMPTY DUMPTY.

However, the egg only got larger and larger, and more and more
‘human. When she had come within a few yards of it, she saw that it had
Df eyes and a nose and
® mouth; and when she
had come close to it, she
saw clearly that it was —
HUMPTY DUMPTY
@ himself. ‘It can’t be
® anybody else!” she
said to herself. “Tm
as certain of it as if his
name were written all




over his face!”
It might have been written a hundred times,
easily, on that enormous face. Humpty Dumpty
was sitting with his legs crossed, like a Turk, on
the top of a high wall, — such a narrow one that
Alice quite wondered how he could keep his
balance, — and as his eyes were steadily fixed
in the opposite direction, and he didn’t take the
least notice of her, she thought he must be a
stuffed figure after all.

“ And how exactly like an egg he is!” she
said aloud, standing with her hands ready to catch him, for she was
every moment expecting him to fall. .

HUMPTY DUMPTY.
160 THROUGH THE LOOKING—GLASS.

“It’s very provoking,’ Humpty Dumpty said after a long silence,
looking away from Alice as he spoke, “to be called an egg — very /”

“T said you looked like an egg, sir,” Alice gently explained. “ And
some eggs are very pretty, you know,” she added, hoping to turn her
remark into a sort of compliment.

“Some people,” said Humpty Dumpty, looking away from her as
usual, “have no more sense than a baby!”

Alice didn’t know what to say to this. It wasn’t at all like conversa-
tion, she thought, as he never said anything to her ; in fact, his last
remark was evidently addressed to a tree; so she stood and softly

repeated to herself: —

“ Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall:
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the King’s horses and all the King’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty in his place again.”

?

“That last line is much too long for the poetry,” she added, almost
out loud, forgetting that Humpty Dumpty would hear her.

“Don’t stand chattering to yourself like that,’ Humpty Dumpty
said, looking at her for the first time, ‘“ but tell me your name and your
business.”

“My xzame is Alice, but” —

“Jt’s a stupid name enough!” Humpty Dumpty interrupted impa
tiently. ‘What does it mean?” — :

“ Must a name mean something?” Alice asked doubtfully.

“Of course it must,’ Humpty Dumpty said with a short laugh,
‘“‘ My name means the shape I am—and a good handsome shape it is,
too. With a name like yours you might be any shape almost.”

“Why do you sit out there alone?” said Alice, not wishing to begin
an argument.

‘Why, because there’s nobody with me!” cried Humpty Dumpty.
“Did you think I didn’t know the answer to that? Ask another.”

‘Don’t you think you’d be safer down on the ground?” Alice went
HUMPTY DUMPTY. 161

on, not with any idea of making another riddle, but simply in her good-
natured anxiety for the queer creature. ‘‘ That wall is so very narrow!”

‘What tremendously easy riddles you ask!” Humpty Dumpty
growled out. ‘“ Of course I don’t think so! Why, if ever I did fall off
— which there’s no chance of — but zf I did” — Here he pursed up
his lips, and looked so solemn and grand that Alice could hardly help
laughing. ‘“JZf I did fall,” he went on, “the King has promised me —
ah, you may turn pale, if you like! You didn’t think I was going to
say that, did you? Zhe King has promised me— with his very own
mouth —to— to”

‘©To send all his horses and all his men,” Alice interrupted, rather
unwisely.

“ Now I declare, that’s too bad!” Humpty Dumpty cried, breaking
into a sudden passion. ‘“ You’ve been listening at doors — and behind
trees — and down chimneys — or you couldn’t have known it!”

“T haven’t, indeed!” Alice said very gently. “It’s in a book.”

“Ah, well! They may write such things in a dook,” Humpty
Dumpty said in a calmer'tone. ‘‘That’s what you call a History of |
England, that is. Now, take a good look at me! I’m one that has
spoken to a King, J am; mayhap you'll never see such another ; and
to show you I’m not proud, you may shake hands with me!” And he
grinned almost from ear to ear, as he leaned forward (and as nearly as
possible fell off the wall in doing so) and offered Alice his hand. She
watched him a little anxiously as she took it. “If he smiled much
more, the ends of his mouth might meet behind,” she thought ; “ and
then I don’t know what would happen to his head! I’m afraid it would
come off!”

“Yes, all his horses and all his men,” Humpty Dumpty went on.
“They'd pick me up again in a minute, ¢zey would! However, this
conversation is going on a little too fast ; let’s go back to the last re-
_mark but one.” —

“I’m afraid I can’t quite remember it,” Alice said very politely.
“In that case we start fresh,” said Humpty Dumpty, “and it’s my
162 THROUGH THE LOOKING-—GLASS,

turn to choose a subject.” (‘He talks about it just as if it was a
game!” thought Alice.) ‘So here’s a question for you. How old
did you say you were ?”

Alice made a short calculation, and said, ‘Seven years and six
months.”

“Wrong!” Humpty Dumpty exclaimed triumphantly. ‘“ You never
said a word like it! ”

“I thought you meant, ‘ How old ave you?’” Alice explained.

“If I'd meant that, I’d have said it,” said Humpty Dumpty.

Alice didn’t want to begin another argument, so she said nothing. .

‘‘ Seven years and six months!”” Humpty Dumpty repeated thought-
fully. ‘An uncomfortable sort of age. Now if you’d asked my advice,
I'd have said, ‘ Leave off at seven ’ — but it’s too late now.’

“T never ask advice about growing,” Alice said indignantly,

‘Too proud ?” the other inquired.

Alice felt even more indignant at this suggestion. “I mean,” she
said, “ that one can’t help growing older.”

‘“ One can’t perhaps,” said Humpty Dumpty, “ but ¢wo can. With
proper assistance you might have left off at seven.”

“What a beautiful belt you’ve got on!” Alice suddenly remarked.

(They had had quite enough of the subject of age, she thought; and
if they really were to take turns in choosing subjects, it was her turn
now.) ‘At least,” she corrected herself on second thoughts, “a beauti-
ful cravat, I should have said —no, a belt, I mean — I beg your pardon!”
she added in dismay; for Humpty Dumpty looked thoroughly offended,
and she began to wish she hadn’t chosen that subject. “If only I
knew,” she thought to herself, ‘‘ which was neck and which was waist! ”

Evidently Humpty Dumpty was very angry, though he said nothing
for a minute or two. When he did speak again, it was in a deep growl.

“It is a— most — provoking — thing,” he said at last, “when a
person doesn’t know a cravat from a belt!”

“I know it’s very ignorant of me,” Alice said in so humble a tone
that Humpty Dumpty relented. _
HUMPTY DUMPTY. 163

“Tt’s a cravat, child, and a beautiful one, as you say. It’s a present

from the White King and Queen. There now!”

“Ts it really ?” said Alice, quite pleased to find that she ad chosen

_a good subject after all.

‘They gave it me,” Humpty Dumpty continued thoughtfully, as he
crossed one knee over the other and clasped his hands round it, “ they
gave it me — for an un-birthday present.”

‘“‘T beg your pardon?” Alice said with a puzzled air.

“I'm not offended,” said Humpty Dumpty.

“T mean, what zs an un-birthday present?”

‘A present given when it isn’t your birthday, of course.”

Alice considered a little. ‘T like birthday presents best,” she said
at last.

“You don’t know what you're talking about!” cried Humpty
Dumpty. ‘ How many days are there in a year?”

‘Three hundred and sixty-five,” said Alice.

‘And how many birthdays have you?”

pa Once

“And if you take one from three hundred and sixty-five, what
remains?”

‘Three hundred and sixty-four, of course.”

Humpty Dumpty eee doubtful. “I'd rather see that done on
paper,” he said.

Alice couldn’t help smiling < as she took out anes memorandum ae
and worked the sum for him:—

365
I

364

I{umpty Dumpty took the book and looked at it carefully. “ That
seems to be done right” — he began.

“You're holding it upside down!” Alice interrupted.

“To be sure I was!” Humpty Dumpty said gayly, as she turned it
164 THROUGH THE LOOKING—GLASS.

round for him. ‘I thought it looked a little queer. As I was saying,
that seems to be done right, though I haven’t time to look it over
thoroughly just now; and that shows that there are three hundred and.
sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents” —

“Certainly,” said Alice.

“And only one for birthday presents, you know. There’s glory for
you!”

“T don’t know what you mean by ‘glory,’” Alice said.

Humpty Dumpty smiled contemptuously. ‘‘ Of course you don’t —
till I tell you. I meant‘ there’s a nice knock-down argument for you!’ ”

“But ‘glory’ doesn’t mean ‘a nice knock-down argument,’” Alice
objected.

‘“When J/ use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful
tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.”

‘‘The question is,” said Alice, ‘whether you caz make words mean
so many different things.”

‘The question is,” said Humpty Dumpty, “ which is to be master
— that’s all.” .

Alice was too much puzzled to say anything, so after a minute
Humpty Dumpty began again. ‘They’ve a temper, some of them —
particularly verbs, they're the proudest —adjectives you can do any-
thing with, but not verbs. However, / can manage the whole lot of
them! Impenetrability! That’s what I say!”

‘Would you tell me, please,” said Alice, ‘what that means ?”

“Now you talk like a reasonable child,” said Humpty Dumpty,
looking very much pleased. ‘I meant by ‘ impenetrability’ that we’ve
had enough of that subject, and it would be just as well if you’d men-
tion what you mean to do next, as I suppose you don’t mean to stop
here all the rest of your life.”

“That’s a great deal to make one word mean,” Alice said, in a
thoughtful tone.

‘“When I make a word do a Jt of work like that,” said Humpty
Dumpty, “I always pay it extra.’
HUMPTY DUMPTY. 165

“Oh!” said Alice. She was too much puzzled to make any other
remark.

“Ah, you should see ’em come round me of a Saturday night,”
Humpty Dumpty went on, wagging his head gravely from side to side —
‘for to get their wages, you know.”

(Alice didn’t venture to ask what he paid them with; and so you
see I can’t tell you.)

“You seem very clever at explaining words, sir,’ said Alice.
“Would you kindly tell me the meaning of the poem called ‘ Jabber-
wocky’?” ;

‘“Let’s hear it,” said Humpty Dumpty. ‘I can explain all the
poems that ever were invented —and a good many that haven’t been
invented just yet.” } :

This sounded very hopeful, so Alice repeated the first verse : —

. ‘°Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.”

“That’s enough to begin with,” Humpty Dumpty interrupted ; ‘there
are plenty of hard words there. ‘4rz//ig’ means four o'clock in the
afternoon — the time when you begin dvozdzng things for dinner.”

“That'll do very well,” said Alice; ‘and ‘ sdéthy’ ?”

“Well, ‘st¢éhy’ means lithe and slimy. ‘Lithe’ is the same as ‘ ac-
tive.’ You see, it’s like a portmanteau, — there are two meanings packed
up into one word.” .

“‘Tsee it now,’ Alice remarked thoughtfully ; “and what are ‘Zoves’ ?””

“Well, ‘doves’ are something like badgers —they’re something like
lizards — and they’re something like corkscrews.”

‘They must be very curious-looking creatures.”

“They are that,” said Humpty Dumpty ; ‘also they make their nests
under sun-dials — also they live on cheese.”

“And what’s to ‘gyre’ and to ‘ g¢mble’?”
"166 THROUGH THE LOOKING—GLASS.

“To ‘gyre’ is to go round and round like a gyroscope. To ‘gtméle’
is to make holes like a gimblet.” —

“And ‘che wade’ is the grass-plot round a sun-dial, I suppose?”
said Alice, surprised at
her own ingenuity.

“Of course it is.
Low It’s called ‘wade, you
uae know, because it goes
na ao a long way before it,
and a long way behind
it”? —

“And a ae way
beyond it on each
side,” Alice added.

‘Exactly so. Well,
then, ‘7zmsy’ is flimsy
and ‘iniserable’ (there’s
another portmanteau
for you). And a ‘dor-
ogove’ isathin, shabby-
looking bird, with its
feathers sticking out
all round something
; like a live mop.”

THEY meee AND GIMBLED. aa And then ‘ monte
vaths’ ?°* said Alice. “I’m afraid I’m giving you a great deal of
trouble.” .

‘Well, a ‘vath’ is a sort of a green pig; but ‘ome’ I’m not certain
about. I think it’s short for ‘from home’— meaning that they’d lost
their way, you know.”

‘And what does ‘ outgrabe’ mean?”

“Well, ‘outgrabing’ is something between bellowing and whistling,
with a kind of sneeze in the middle. However, you'll hear it done, may-


HUMPTY DUMPTY. 167

be, down in the wood yonder; and when you’ve once heard it you'll be
quite content.. Who's been repeating all that hard stuff to you?”

“T read it in a book,” said Alice. ‘But I had some poetry repeated
to me, much easier than that, by — Tweedledee, I think it was.”

« As to poetry, you know,” said Humpty Dumpty, stretching out one
of his great hands, “‘ 7 can repeat poetry as well as other folk, if it comes
to that” —

‘Oh, it needn’t come to that!” Alice hastily said, hoping to keep
him from beginning.

“The piece I’m going to repeat,” he went on, without noticing her
remark, ‘“‘ was written entirely for your amusement.”

Alice felt that in that case she really oughé to listen to it, so she sat
down,.and said ‘Thank you” rather sadly.

“Tn winter, when the fields are white,
I sing this song for your delight —

only I don’t sing it,” he added as an explanation.

‘“T see you don’t,” said Alice.

“Tf you can see whether I’m singing or not, you’ve sharper eyes than
most,” Humpty Dumpty remarked severely. Alice was silent.

“In spring, when woods are getting green,
I’ll try and tell you what I mean.”

“ Thank you very much,” said-Alice.

“In summer, when the days are long, In autumn, when the leaves are brown,
Perhaps you’ll understand the song: Take pen’ and ink, and write it down.”

‘“‘T will, if I can remember it so long,” said Alice.
“You needn’t go on making remarks like that,” Humpty Dumpty
said ; ‘‘ they’re not sensible, and they put me out.”

“T sent'a message to the fish: The little fishes of the sea,
I told them, ‘This is what I wish.’ They sent an answer back to me.

The little fishes’ answer was,
‘We cannot do it, sir, because’’’? —
168 THROUGH THE LOOKING—GLASS.

“I’m afraid I don’t quite understand,” said Alice.
“It gets easier farther on,” Humpty Dumpty replied.

“T sent to them again to say, My heart went hop, my heart went thump,

‘It will be better to obey.’ I filled the kettle at the pump.

The fishes answered with a grin, Then some one came to me and said,
‘Why, what a temper you are in! ‘The little fishes are in bed.’

I told them once, I told them twice, I said to him, I said it plain,

They would not listen to advice. ‘Then you must wake then up again.’
I took a kettle large and new, I said it very loud and clear;

Fit for the deed I had to do. I went and shouted in his ear.”

Humpty Dumpty raised his voice almost to a scream as he repeated
this verse; and Alice thought with a shudder, “I wouldn’t have been
the messenger for anything!”

“But he was very stiff and proud ;
He said, ‘You needn’t shout so loud!’

And he was very proud and stiff;
He said, ‘I’d go and wake them, if, —

I took a corkscrew from the shelf;
I went to wake them up myself.

And when I found the door was locked,
I pulled and pushed and kicked and
knocked.

And when I found the door was shut,
I tried to turn the handle, but ” —

There was a long pause.

“Is that all?” Alice timidly asked.

“That’s all,” said Humpty Dumpty.
‘“‘ Good-by.”

This was rather sudden, Alice thought; but, after such a very strong
hint that she ought to be going, she felt that it would hardly be civil to
stay. So she got up, and held out her hand. ‘“ Good-by, till we meet
again!” she said as cheerfully as she could.



“] WENT AND SHOUTED IN HIS EAR.”
HUMPTY DUMPTY. 169

“T shouldn’t know you again if we adzd meet,” Humpty Dumpty
replied in a discontented tone, giving her one of his fingers to shake;
“you're so exactly like other people.”

“The face is what one goes by generally,” Alice remarked in a
thoughtful tone.

“That’s just what I complain of,” said Humpty Dumpty. ‘“ Your
face is the same as everybody has — the two eyes, so” (marking their
places in the air with his thumb) — “nose in the middle, mouth under.
It’s.always the same. Now, if you had the two eyes on the same side .
of the nose, for instance, or the mouth at the top, that would be some
help.”

“Tt wouldn’t look nice,” Alice objected. But Humpty Dumpty only
shut his eyes and said, ‘“ Wait till you’ve tried.”

Alice waited a minute to see if he would speak again; but as he
never opened his eyes or took any further notice of her, she said,
‘“‘Good-by!” once more; and, getting no answer to this, she quietly
walked away. But she couldn’t help saying to herself as she went, “ Of
all the unsatisfactory” (she repeated this aloud, as it was a great com-
fort to have such a long word to say) —“‘of all the unsatisfactory
people I ever met” — She never finished the sentence, for at this
moment a heavy crash shook the forest from end to end.
170 THROUGH THE LOOKING—GLASS.

CHAPTER VII. .
THE LION AND THE UNICORN.

THE next moment soldiers came running through the wood, at first in
twos and threes, then ten or twenty together, and at last in such crowds
that they seemed to
fill the whole forest.
Alice got behind a
tree for fear of being
run over, and watched
them go by.

She thought that
in all her life she had
never seen soldiers so
uncertainon their feet.
They were always trip-
ping over something
or other; and when-
ever one went down,
several more always
fell over him, so that
the ground was soon
covered with little
heaps of men.

Sagi Then came the’
Z-7Mh\ MNP horses. Having four

THE UNCERTAIN SOLDIERS. feet, these managed
rather better than the foot-soldiers, but even they stumbled now and then ;


THE LION AND THE UNICORN. 171

and ‘it seemed to be a regular rule that whenever a horse stumbled, the
rider fell off instantly. The confusion got worse every moment; and
Alice was very glad to get out of the wood into an open place, where
she found the White King seated on the ground, busily writing in his
memorandum book.

“T’ve sent them all,” the King cried, on seeing Alice. ‘Did you hap-
pen to meet any soldiers, my dear, as you came through the wood ?”

“Yes, I did,” said Alice; ‘“‘ several thousand, I should think.”

“Four thousand two hundred and seven, that’s the exact number,”
the King said, referring to his book. ‘I couldn’t send all the horses,
you know, because two of them are wanted in the game. And I haven't
sent the two Messengers, either. They’re both gone to the town.
Just look along the road and tell me if you can see either of them.”

“I see nobody on the road,” said Alice.

‘“‘T only wish / had’ such eyes,” the King remarked in a fretful tone.
“To be able to see nobody! And at that distance too! Why, it’s as
much as / can do to see real people, by this light.”

All this was lost on Alice, who was still looking intently along the
road, shading her eyes with one hand. ‘I see somebody now!” she
exclaimed at last. ‘ But he’s coming very slowly — and what curious
attitudes he goes into.” (For the Messenger kept skipping up and
down, and wriggling like an eel, as he came along, with his great hands
spread out like fans on each side.)

“Not at all,” said the King. ‘ He’s an.Anglo-Saxon Messenger,
and those are Anglo-Saxon attitudes. He only does them when he’s
happy. His name is Haigha.” (He pronounced it so as to rhyme
with ‘“ mayor.”)

“T love my love with an’ H,” Alice couldn’t help beginning, ‘“ be-
cause he is Happy. I hate him with an H, because he is Hideous. I
fed him with — with —with Ham sandwiches and Hay. His name is
Haigha, and he lives ” —

“He lives on the Hill,” the King remarked simply, without the
least idea that he was joining in the game, while Alice was still hesi-
ee ee Oe ae re

172 THROUGH THE. LOOKING—GLASS.

tating for the name of a town beginning with H. ‘ The other Messen-
gers called Hatta. I must have two, you know — to come and go.
One to come, one to go.”

‘“T beg your pardon,” said Alice.

“Tt isn’t respectable to beg,” said the King.

“TJ only meant that I didn’t understand,” said Alice. ‘* Why one to
come and one to go?”

“ Don’t I tell you?” the King repeated impatiently. ‘“ I must have
two — to fetch and carry. One to fetch, and one to carry.”

At this moment the Messenger arrived. He was far too much out
of breath to say a word, and could only wave his hands about, and
make the most fearful faces at the poor King.

“ This young lady loves you with an H,” the King said, introducing
Alice in the hope of turning off the Messenger’s attention from himself ;
but it was no use — the Anglo-Saxon attitudes only got more extraordi-
nary every moment, while the great eyes rolled wildly from side to side. |

“You alarm me! ” said the King. ‘I feel faint. A ham sandwich!”

On which the Messenger, to Alice’s great amusement, opened a bag
that hung round his neck, and handed a sandwich to the King, who
devoured it greedily.

‘Another sandwich!” said te King.

“There’s nothing but hay left now,” the Messenger said, peeping
into the bag.

“Hay, then,” the King murmured in a faint whisper.

Alice was glad to see that it revived him a good deal. ‘ There’s
nothing like eating hay when you're faint,” he remarked to her, as he
munched away.

“T should think throwing cold water over you would be better,”
Alice suggested ; ‘‘or some sal-volatile.”

‘“‘T didn’t say there was nothing deéer,” the King replied. “I said
there was nothing /zke it.” Which Alice did not venture to deny.

‘“Whom did you pass on the road?” the King went on, holding out
his hand to the Messenger for some more hay.

ee
THE LION AND THE UNICORN. 173

“Nobody,” said the Messenger.

“Quite right,” said the King; “this young lady saw him too. So
of course Nobody walks slower than you.”

‘““T do my best,” the Messenger said in a sullen tone. ‘I’m sure
nobody walks much faster than I do!”

“He can’t do that,” said the King, “ or else he’d have been here first.
However, now you've got your breath, tell what’s happened in town.”

‘“T’ll whisper it,” said the Messenger, putting his hands to his mouth
in the shape of a trumpet, and stooping so as to get close to the King’s
ear. Alice was sorry for this, as she wanted to hear the news too.
However, instead of whispering, he simply shouted at the top of his
voice, ‘“‘ They’re at it again!”

“Do you call ¢hat a whisper?” cried the poor King, jumping up
and shaking himself. ‘If you do such a thing again, I’ll have you but-
tered! It went through and through my head like an earthquake !”

“Tt would have to be a very tiny earthquake!” thought Alice.
““Who are at it again?” she ventured to ask.

“Why, the Lion and the Unicorn, of course,” said the King.

« ‘ Fighting for the crown?”

“Yes, to be sure,” said the King; “and the best of the joke is that
it’s my crown all the while! Let’s run and see them.” And they trotted
off, Alice repeating to herself, as she ran, the words of the old song : —

“The Lion and the Unicorn were fighting for the crown:
The Lion beat the Unicorn all round the town.
Some gave them white bread, some gave them brown ;,
Some gave them plum-cake and drummed them out of town.”

“Does — the one — that wins — get the crown?” she asked, as
well as she could, for the run was putting her quite out of breath.

“Dear me, no!” said the King. ‘‘ What an idea!”

“Would you — be good enough,” Alice panted out, after running a
little farther, ‘to stop a minute —just to get — one’s breath again?”

“Tm good enough,” the King said, “ only I’m not strong enough.
174 . THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS.

You see, a minute goes by so fearfully quick. You might as well try
to stop a Bandersnatch !”

Alice had no more breath for talking, so they trotted on in silence
till they came in sight of a great crowd, in the middle of which the Lion
and Unicorn were fighting. They were in such a cloud of dust, that at
first Alice could not make out which was which; but she soon managed
to distinguish the Unicorn by his horn.

They placed themselves close to where Hatta, the other Messenger,
was standing watching the fight, with a cup of tea in one hand and a
piece of bread-and-butter in the other.

‘“‘He’s only just out of prison, and he hadn’t finished his tea when
he was sent in,” Haigha whispered to Alice; ‘‘and they only give

them oyster-shells in
there—so you see
he’s very hungry and
thirsty. How are
you, dear child?” he
went on, putting his
arm affectionately
round Hatta’s neck.
Hatta looked
| round and nodded,
and went on with his
bread-and-butter.
“Were you happy
in prison, dear child?”
said Haigha.

Hatta looked round once more, and this time a tear or two trickled
down his cheek; but not a word would he say.

“Speak, can’t you?” Haigha cried impatiently. But Hatta only
munched away, and drank some more tea.

‘Speak, won’t you?” cried the King. ‘‘ How are they getting on
with the fight ?”







“TEN MINUTES FOR REFRESHMENTS,”
THE LION AND THE UNICORN. . 175

Hatta made a desperate effort, and swallowed a large piece of bread-
and-butter. They’re getting on very well,” he said in a choking voice ;
‘each of them has been down about eighty-seven times.”

“Then I suppose they’ll soon bring the white bread and the brown?”
Alice ventured to remark. —

“Tt’s waiting for em now,” said Hatta; “this is a bit I’m eating.”

There was a pause in the fight just then; and the Lion and the Uni-
corn sat down, panting, while the King called out, ‘“Ten minutes allowed
for refreshments!”” Haigha and Hatta set to work at once, carrying
‘round trays of white and brown bread. Alice took a piece to taste, but
it was very dry.

‘“T don’t think they'll fight any more to-day,” the King said to Hatta;
‘go and order the drums to begin.” And Hatta went bounding away
like a grasshopper.

- For a minute or two Alice stood een watching him. Suddenly she
brightened up. ‘‘ Look, look!”’ she cried, pointing eagerly. ‘ There’s
the White Queen running across the country! She came flying out of
the wood over yonder. How fast those Queens cam run!”

wee There’s some enemy after her, no doubt,” the King said, without
even looking round. ‘That wood’s full of them.”

‘But aren’t you going to run and help her?” Alice asked, very
much surprised at his taking it so quietly.

“No use, no use!” said the King. “She runs so fearfully quick.
You might as well try to catch a Bandersnatch! But I'll make a mem-
orandum about her, if you like. She’s a-dear good creature,” he re-
peated softly to himself, as he opened his memorandum book. ‘Do
you spell ‘creature’ with a double ‘e’?”

At this moment the Unicorn sauntered by them, with his hands in
his pockets. ‘I had the best of it this time!” he said to the King,
just glancing at him as he passed.

“A little—a little,’ the King replied rather nervously. ‘ You
shouldn’t have run him through with your horn, you know.”

Tt didn’t hurt him,” the Unicorn said carelessly ; and he was going
176 THROUGH THE LOOKING—GLASS.

on, when his eyes happen to fall upon Alice. He turned round instantly,
and stood for some time looking at her with an air of the deepest disgust.

“What — is — this?” he said at last.

“This is a child!” Haigha replied eagerly, coming in front of Alice
to introduce her, and spreading out both his hands toward her in an
Anglo-Saxon attitude. ‘We only found it to-day. It’s as large as
life, and twice as natural !”

“I always thought they were fabulous monsters!” said the Unicorn.
“Ts it alive?”

“Tt can talk,” said Haigha solemnly.

The Unicorn looked dreamily at Alice, and said, ‘ Talk, child.”

Alice could not help her lips curling up into a smile as she began,
“Do you know, I always thought Unicorns were fabulous monsters,
too! I never saw one alive before!”

“Well, now that we Zave seen each other,” said the Unicorn, “ if
you'll believe in me, I’ll believe in you. Is that a bargain?”

“Ves, if you like,” said Alice.

“Come, fetch out the plum-cake, old man!” the Unicorn went on,
turning from her to the King. ‘None of your brown bread for me!”

‘‘ Certainly — certainly!” the King muttered, and beckoned to
Haigha. ‘Open the bag!” he whispered. “Quick! Not that one
—that’s full of hay!”

Haigha took a large cake out of Peer and gave it to Alice to hold,
while he got out a dish and carving-knife. How they all came out of it
Alice couldn’t guess. It was just like a conjuring trick, she thought.

The Lion had joined them while this was going on. He looked very
tired and sleepy, and his eyes were half shut.‘ What’s this!” he said,
blinking lazily at Alice, and speaking in a deep hollow tone that sounded
like the tolling of a great bell.

“Ah, what zs it now?” the Unicorn cried eagerly. ‘“ You'll never
guess! J couldn’t.”
The Lion looked at Alice end “Are you animal — or vegeta-_

ble — or mineral ?” he said, yawning at every other word.
THE LION AND THE UNICORN. 7

“It’s a fabulous monster!” said the Unicorn before Alice could reply.

-“ Then hand round the plum-cake, Monster,” the Lion said, lying
down and putting his chin on his paws. ‘“ And sit down, both of you”
_ (to the King and the Unicorn) ; “ fair play with the cake, you know!”

The King was evidently very uncomfortable at having to sit down
between the two great creatures, but there was no other place for him.

“What a fight we might have for the crown xow /” the Unicorn
said, looking slyly up at the crown, which the poor King was nearly
- shaking off his head, he trembled so much.

‘“‘T should win easy,” said the Lion.

‘“‘T’m not so sure of that,” said the Unicorn.

““Why, I beat you all round the town, you chicken!” the Lion re-
plied angrily, half getting up as he spoke.

~ Here the King interrupted, to prevent the quarrel going on. He
was very nervous, and his voice quite quivered. ‘All round the town?”
he said. ‘“That’s a good long way. Did you go by the old bridge, or
the market-place? You get the best view by the old bridge.”

“T’m sure I don’t know,” the Lion growled out as he lay down
again. ‘There was too much dust to see anything. What a time the
Monster is cutting up that cake!”

Alice had seated herself on the bank of a little brook, with the great
dish on her knees, and was sawing away diligently with the knife.

“It’s very provoking !.” she said, in reply to the Lion (she was get-
ting quite used to being called “the Monster”). ‘I’ve cut several
slices already, but they always join on again!”

“You don’t know how to manage Looking-glass cakes,” the Uni-
corn remarked. “Hand it round first, and cut it afterward.”

This sounded nonsense; but Alice very obediently got up, and car-
ried the dish round, and the.cake divided itself into three pieces as she
did so. ‘Mow cut it up,” said the Lion, as she returned to her place.

“J say, this isn’t fair!” cried the Unicorn, as Alice sat with the
knife in her hand, very much puzzled how to begin. “The Monster
has given the Lion twice as much as me!”
‘nothing ever will!”

178 : THROUGH THE LOOKING—GLASS.

“She's kept none for herself, anyhow,” said the Lion. ‘“ Do you
like plum-cake, Monster?”
But before Alice could answer him the drums began.
Where the noise came from she couldn’t make out; the air seemed
full of it, and it rang through and through her head till she felt quite
deafened. She started to her feet, and sprang across the little brook in
her terror, and had just time to see the Lion and the Unicorn rise to
their feet, with angry looks at being interrupted in their feast, before
she dropped to her knees, and put her hands over her ears, vainly trying
to shut out the dreadful uproar. .
“Tf ¢ha¢ doesn’t ‘drum them out of town,’” she thought to herself,



THE DRUMS.
“Irs MY OWN INVENTION.” 179

GRAPE Re VALE

“17'S MY OWN INVENTION.”

Arter a while the noise seemed gradually to die away, till all was
dead silence, and Alice lifted up her head in some alarm. There was

no one to be seen,
and her first thought
was that she must
have. been dreaming
about the Lion and
the Unicorn and those
queer Anglo-Saxon
Messengers. How-
ever, there was the
great dish still lying
at her feet, on which
she had tried to cut
the plum-cake. ‘So
I wasn’t dreaming
after all,” she said to
herself, ‘unless —
unless we're all part
of the same dream.



THE RULES OF BATTLE,

Only I do hope it’s my dream, and not the Red King’s. I don’t like:

belonging to another person’s dream,” she went on in a rather com-

plaining tone; “I’ve
happens.”

a great mind to go and wake him, and see what

At this moment her thoughts were interrupted by a loud shouting
180 THROUGH THE LOOKING—GLASS.

of “ Ahoy! Ahoy! Check!” and a Knight, dressed in crimson armor,
came galloping down upon her, brandishing a great club. Just as he
reached her, the horse stopped suddenly. ‘ You’re my prisoner,” the
Knight cried, as he tumbled off his horse.

Startled as she was, Alice was more frightened for him than for her-
self at the moment, and watched him with some anxiety as he mounted
again. As soon as he was comfortably in the saddle, he began once
more, ‘ You’re my””—but here another voice broke in, ‘“ Ahoy! Ahoy!
Check!” and Alice looked round in some surprise for the new enemy.

This time it was a White Knight. . He drew up at Alice’s side; and
tumbled off his horse just as the Red Knight had done; then he got on
again, and the two Knights sat and locked at each other for some time
without speaking. Alice looked from one to the other in some bewil-
derment.

‘‘She’s my prisoner, you know!” the Red Knight said at last.

“Yes; but then / came and rescued her!” the White Knight replied.

«Well, we must fight for her, then,” said the Red Knight, as he
took up his helmet (which hung from the saddle, and was something
the shape of a horse’s head) and put it on.

“You will observe the Rules of Battle, of course?” the White Knight
remarked, putting on his helmet too.

“I always do,” said the Red Knight; and ey began banging away
at each other with such fury that Alice got behind a tree to be out of
the way of the blows.

‘““T wonder, now, what the Rules of Battle are?” she said to herself,
as she watched the fight, timidly peeping out from her hiding-place.
‘One Rule seems to be that if one Knight hits the other, he knocks
him off his horse, and if he misses, he tumbles off himself; and another
Rule seems to be that they hold their clubs with their arms, as if they
were Punch and Judy. What a noise they make when they tumble!
Just like a whole set of fire-irons falling into the fender! And how
quiet the horses are! They let them get on and off them just as if they

[2

were tables!
“IT’S MY OWN INVENTION.” 181

Another Rule of Battle, that Alice had not noticed, seemed to be that
they always fell on their heads, and the battle ended with their both fall-
ing off in this way, side by side; when they got up again they shook ~
hands, and then the Red Knight mounted and galloped off.

“Tt was a glorious victory, wasn’t it?” said the White Knight, as he
came up panting.

“‘T don’t know,” Alice said pore “T don’t want to be any-
body’s prisoner. I want to be a Queen.”

“So you will, when you’ve crossed the next Brooke said the White
Knight. ‘ll see you safe to the end of the wood —and then I must .
go back, you know. That’s the end of my move.”

“Thank you very much,” said Alice. ‘‘May I help you off with your
helmet?” It was evidently more than he could manage by himself;
however, she managed to shake him.out of it at last.

“ Now one can breathe more easily,” said the Knight, putting back
his shaggy hair with both hands, and turning his gentle face and large
mild eyes to Alice. She thought she had never seen such a strange-
looking soldier in all her life.

He was dressed in tin armor, which seemed to fit him very badly,
and he had a queer-shaped little deal box fastened across his shoulders,
upside-down, and with the lid hanging open. Alice looked at it with
great curiosity.

“T see you’re admiring my little box,” the Knight said in a friendly
tone. “It’s my own invention—to keep clothes and sandwiches in.
You see I carry it upside-down, so that the rain can’t get in.”

“But the things can get out,” Alice gently remarked. “Do you’
know the lid’s open?”

“T didn’t know it,” the Knight said, a shade of vexation passing over
his face. ‘Then all the things must have fallen out! And the box is
no use without them.” He unfastened it as he spoke, and was just go-
ing to throw it into the bushes, when a sudden thought seemed to
strike him, and he hung it carefully on a tree. “Can you guess why
I did that?” he said to Alice.


182 THROUGH THE LOOKING—GLASS.

Alice shook her head.

“In hopes some bees may make a nest in it—then I should get the
honey.”

“ But you've got a beehive, or something like one, fastened to the
saddle,” said Alice.

“Yes, it’s a very good beehive,” the Knight said, in a discontented
tone; “one of the best kind. But not a single bee has come near it
yet. And the other thing is a mouse-trap. I suppose the mice keep
the bees out, or the bees keep the mice out, I don’t know which.”

‘‘T was wondering what the mouse-trap was for,” said Alice. “It
isn’t very likely there would be any mice on the horse’s back.”

‘Not very likely perhaps,” said the Knight; “ but if they do come,
I don’t choose to have them running all about.”

“You see,” he went on after a pause, “it’s as well to be provided
for everything. That’s the reason the horse has all those anklets round
his feet.”

“But what are they for?” Alice asked in a tone of great curiosity.

“To guard against the bites of sharks,” the Knight replied. ‘It’s
an invention of my own. And now help me on. I'll go with you to
the end of the wood. What's that dish for?”

“It’s meant for plum-cake,” said Alice.

“We'd better take it with us,” the Knight said. “It'll come in
handy if we find any plum-cake. Help me to get it into this bag.”

This took a long time to manage, though Alice held the bag open
very carefully, because the Knight was so very awkward in putting in
the dish; the first two or three times that he tried he fell in himself
instead. ‘It’s rather a tight fit, you see,” he said, as they got it in at
last; “there are so many candlesticks in the bag.”” And he hung it to
the saddle, which was already loaded with bunches of carrots and fire-
irons and many other things.

“T hope you’ve got your hair well fastened on?” he continued, as
they set off.

“Only in the usual way,” Alice said, smiling.
“17's MY OWN INVENTION,” 183

“That's hardly enough,” he said anxiously.‘ You see, the wind is
so very strong here. It’s as strong as soup.” :

‘Have you invented a plan for keeping the hair from being blown
off?” Alice inquired. ;

“Not yet,” said the Knight. ‘ But [ve got a plan for keeping it
from falling off.”

_ “T should like to hear it very much.”

“First you take an upright stick,” said the Knight. “Then you
make your hair creep up it, like a fruit-tree. Now, the reason hair falls
off is because it hangs down —things never fall upward, you know.
It's a plan of my own invention. You may try it if you like.”

It didn’t sound a comfortable plan, Alice thought; and for a few
minutes she walked on in silence, puzzling over the idea, and every
now and. then stopping to
help the poor Knight, who
certainly was ot a good rider.

Whenever the horse
stopped (which it did very
often), he fell off in front;
and whenever it went on
again (which it generally did
rather suddenly), he fell off
behind. Otherwise he kept
on pretty well, except that
he had a habit of now and
then falling off sideways; and




as he generally did this on ee
the side on which Alice was. TN TAY,

walking, she soon found that . WHENEVER THE HORSE STOPPED HE FELL OFF,

it was the best plan not to walk guz¢e close to the horse.

“I’m afraid you’ve not had much practice in riding,” she ventured
to say, as she was helping him up from his fifth tumble.

The Knight looked very much surprised, and a little offended, at the
A
184 THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS.

remark. ‘What makes you say that?” he asked, as he scrambled back
into the saddle, keeping hold of Alice’s hair with one hand to save
himself from falling over on the other side.

“Because people don’t fall off quite so often when they’ve had
much practice.”

‘“T’ve had plenty of practice,” the Knight said very gravely ; ‘plenty
of practice!”

Alice could think of nothing better to say than “ Indeed?” but she
said it as heartily as she could. They went on a little way in silence
after this, the Knight, with his eyes shut, muttering to himself, and Alice
watching anxiously for the next tumble.

“The great art of riding,” the Knight suddenly began in a loud
voice, waving his right arm as he spoke, ‘is to keep” — | Here the
sentence ended as suddenly as it had begun, as the Knight fell heavily
on the top of his head exactly in the path where Alice was walking.
She was quite frightened this time, and said in an anxious tone, as she
picked him up, ‘“‘ I hope no bones are broken ?”

‘None to speak of,” the Knight said, as if he didn’t mind breaking
two or three of them. “The great art of riding, as I was saying, is—
to keep your balance properly. Like this, you know ” —

He let go the bridle, and stretched out his arms to show Alice what
he meant, and fell flat on his back, right under the horse’s feet.

‘Plenty of practice! ’’ he went on repeating, all the time that Alice
was getting him on his feet again; “ plenty of practice!”

‘It’s too ridiculous!” cried Alice, losing all her patience this time.
“You ought to have a wooden horse on wheels, that you ought!”

“ Does that kind go smoothly?” the Knight asked, in a tone of great
interest, clasping his arms round the horse’s neck as he spoke just in
time to save himself from tumbling off again.

“Much more smoothly than a live horse,” Alice said, with a little
scream of laughter, in spite of all she could do to prevent it.

“Tl get one,” the Knight said thoughtfully to himself. “One or
two — several.”

“IT’S MY OWN INVENTION.” 185

There was a short silence after this, and then the Knight went on.
“Tm a great hand at inventing things. Now, I dare say you noticed,
_the last time you picked me up, that I was looking rather thoughtful ?”
“You were a little grave,” said Alice.

“Well, just then I was inventing a new way of getting over a gate.
~ Would you like to hear it ?”

“Very much indeed,” Alice said politely.

“Tl tell you how I came to think of it,” said the Knight. ‘“ You
see, I said to myself, ‘The only difficulty is with the feet; the head is
high enough already.’ Now, first I put my head on the top of the gate
—then the head’s high enough; then I stand on my head —then the
feet are high enough, you. see — then I’m over, you see.”

“ Yes, I suppose you'd be over when that was done,” Alice said
thoughtfully ; “but don’t you think it would be rather hard ?”

“T haven't tried it yet,” the Knight said gravely, “so I can’t tell for
certain; but I’m afraid it would be a little hard.”

He looked so vexed at the idea that Alice changed the subject
hastily. ‘“ What a curious helmet you’ve got,” she said cheerfully. “Is
that your invention too?”

The Knight looked down proudly at his helmet, which hung from
the saddle. ‘‘ Yes,” he said; ‘“‘ but I’ve invented a better one than that
—like a sugar-loaf. When I used to wear it, if I fell off the horse, it
always touched the ground directly. So I had a very little way to fall,
you see. _ But there was the danger of falling zzéo it, to be sure. “That
happened to me once; and the worst of it was, before I could get out
again, the other White Knight came and put it on. He thought it was
his own helmet.”

The Knight looked so solemn about it that Alice did not dare to
laugh. ‘I’m afraid you must have hurt him,” she said in a trembling
voice, ‘‘ being on the top of his head.”

“T had to kick him, of course,” the Knight said very seriously.
“ And then he took the helmet off again; but it took hours and hours
to get me out. I was as fast as— as lightning, you know.”
186 THROUGH THE LOOKING—GLASS.

‘ But that’s a different kind of fastness,” Alice objected.

The Knight shook his head. “It was all kinds of fastness with
me, I can assure you!” he said. He raised his hands in some excite-
ment as he said this, and instantly rolled out of the saddle, and fell head-
long into a deep ditch.

Alice ran to the side of the ditch to look for him. She was rather
startled by the fall, as for.some time he had kept on very well, and she

was afraid that he really was hurt this time. However, though she
could see nothing but

the soles of his feet, she
was much relieved to
hear that he was talking
on in his usual tone.
“ All kinds of fastness,”
he repeated ; “‘but it was
careless of him to put
another man’s helmet
on —with the man in it



‘“How can you go
on talking so quietly,
head downward?” Alice asked, as she dragged him out by the feet,
and laid him in a heap on the bank.

The Knight looked surprised at the question.’ ‘‘ What does it mat-
ter where my body happens to be?” he said. ‘My mind goes on
working all the same. In fact, the more head downward I am, the more
I keep inventing new things. Now, the cleverest thing of the sort that
I ever did,” he went on after a pause, “was inventing a new pudding
during the meat course.”

“In time to have it cooked for the next course ?” said Alice.
“Well, that was quick work certainly!”

‘Well, not the zex¢ course,” the Knight said in a slow, thoughtful
tone; ‘no, certainly not the next course.”

ALICE DRAGS THE WHITE KNIGHT OUT OF THE DITCH.
“IT'S MY OWN INVENTION.” 187

“Then it would have to be the next day. I suppose you wouldn’t
have two pudding courses in one dinner?”

«Well, not the zext day,” the Knight repeated as before; ‘not the
next day. In fact,’ he went on, holding his head down, and his voice
getting lower and lower, ‘‘I don’t believe that pudding ever was cooked!
In fact, I don’t believe that puadin es. ever will be cooked! And yet it
was a very clever pudding to invent.” |

_ “What did you mean it to be made of?” Alice asked, hoping to
cheer him up, for the poor Knight seemed quite low-spirited about it.

“Tt began with blotting-paper,” the Knight answered with a groan.

‘That wouldn’t be very nice, I’m afraid” —

‘Not very nice alone,” he interrupted quite eagerly ; “but you’ve
no idea what a difference it makes mixing it with other things, such
as gunpowder and sealing-wax. And here I must leave you.” They
had just come to the end of the wood.

Alice could only look puzzled; she was thinking of the pudding.

“You are sad,” the Knight said in an anxious tone; “let me sing
you a song to comfort you.” :

“Ts it very long?” asked Alice, who had heard a lot of poetry that day.

“Tt’s long,” said the Knight; “but very beautiful. Everybody that
hears me sing it, either it brings the ears into their eyes, or else ” —

“ Or else what?” said Alice, for the Knight had paused suddenly.

“Or else it doesn’t, you know. The name of the song is called
‘Haddocks Eyes.”

“Oh, that’s the name of une song, is it?” Alice said, trying to feel
interested.

“No, you don’t understand,” the Knight said, a little vexed. ‘“ That’s
what the name is called. The name really is, ‘ The Aged, Aged Man.”

“Then I ought to have oe ‘That’s what the sozg is called,” Alice
corrected herself.

“No, you oughtn’t; that’s quite another thing! The song is called
‘Ways and Means ;’ but that’s only what it’s cadled, you know!”

“ Well, what zs the song, then?” said Alice, completely bewildered.
188 THROUGH THE LOOKING—GLASS.

‘“T was coming to that,” the Knight said. ‘The song really zs
‘A-Sztting on a Gate, and the tune’s my own invention.”

So saying, he stopped his horse, and let the reins fall on its neck;
then, slowly beating time with one hand, with a faint smile lighting up
his gentle, foolish face as if he enjoyed the music of his song, he began.

Of all the strange things that Alice saw in her journey “ Through
the Looking-Glass” this was the one that she always remembered most
clearly. Years afterward she could bring the whole scene back again,
as if it had been only yesterday, — the mild blue eyes and kindly smile
of the Knight — the setting sun gleaming through his hair, and shining
on his armor in a blaze of light that quite dazzled her—the horse
quietly moving about, with the reins hanging loose on his neck, crop-
ping the grass at her feet — and the black shadows of the forest behind
— all this-she took in like a picture, as, with one hand shading her eyes,
she leaned against a tree, watching the strange pair, and listening, in a
half dream, to the melancholy music of the song.

‘But the tune zsz’¢ his own invention,” she said to herself ; ‘it’s
‘IT gtve thee all, I can no more.” . She stood and listened very atten-
tively, but no tears came into her eyes.

But I was thinking of a plan
To dye one’s whiskers green,
And always use so large a fan
That they could not be seen.
So, having no reply to give
To what the old man said,

“T’ll tell thee everything I can;
There’s little to relate.
I saw an aged, aged man,
A-sitting on a gate.
‘Who are you, aged man?’ I said,
‘And how is it you live ?’

And his answer trickled through my head
Like water through a sieve.

He said, ‘I look for butterflies
That sleep among the wheat;
I make them into mutton-pies,
And sell them in the street.
I sell them unto men,’ he said,.
‘Who sail on stormy seas;
And that’s the way I get my bread —
A trifle, if you please.’

I cried, ‘Come, tell me how you live!’
And thumped him on the head.

His accents mild took up the tale:
He said, ‘I go my ways,
And when I find a mountain-rill
I set it in a blaze;
And thence they make a stuff they call
Rowland’s Macassar Oil —
Yet twopence-halfpenny is all
They give me for my toil.’
“IT'S MY OWN INVENTION.” 189

But I was thinking of a way Or madly squeeze a right-hand foot
To feed one’s self on batter, Into a left-hand shoe,
And so go on from day to day Or if I drop upon my toe
Getting a little fatter. A very heavy weight,
I shook him well from side to side, I weep, for it reminds me so
Until his face was blue: Of that old man I used to know —
“Come, tell me how you live,’ I cried, Whose look was mild, whose speech was
‘ And what it is you do!’ slow,

Whose hair was whiter tl
He said ‘I hunt for haddocks’ eyes Peres aie euernsaOn

Among the heather bright,
And work them into waistcoat buttons
In the silent night.
And these I do not sell for gold
Or coin of silvery shine,
. But for a copper halfpenny,
And that will purchase nine:

‘I sometimes dig for buttered rolls,
Or set limed twigs for crabs:

I sometimes search the grassy knolls
For wheels of Hansom cabs.

And that’s the way’ (he gave a wink)
‘ By which I get my wealth —

And very gladly will I drink
Your Honor’s noble health.’



THE OLD MAN AND THE WHITE KNIGH7â„¢,

I heard him then, for I had just
Completed my design

To keep the Menai bridge from rust
By boiling it in wine.

I thanked him much for telling me
The way he got his wealth,

But chiefly for his wish that he

Whose face was very like a crow,
With eyes like cinders, all aglow,
Who seemed distracted with his woe,
Who rocked his body to and fro,
And muttered mumblingly and low,

: : As if his mouth were full of dough
Might drink ble health. 2
pemeiegecine Sign nae, Who snorted like a buffalo —
And now, if e’er by chance I put ~ That summer evening, long ago,
My fingers into glue, A-sitting on a gate.”

As the Knight sang the last words of the ballad, he gathered up the
reins, and turned his horse’s head along the road by which they had
come. ‘“ You've only a few yards to go,” he said, “down the hill and
over that little brook, and then you'll be a Queen. But you'll stay and
see me off first?” he added, as Alice turned with an eager look in the
190 ~ THROUGH THE LOOKING—GLASS. :

direction to which he pointed. ‘I sha’n’t be long. You'll wait, and wave
your handkerchief when I get to that turn in the road? I think it’ll én-
courage me, you see.”

‘“Of course [ll wait,” said Alice; ‘and thank you very much for
coming so far —and for the song —I liked it very much.”

‘“‘T hope so,” the Knight said doubtfully ; ‘but you didn’t cry so
much as I thought you would.”

So they shook hands, and then the Knight rode Slowly away into the
forest. ‘It won’t take long to see him off, I expect,” Alice said to her-
self, as she stood watching him. ‘There he goes! . Right on his head,
as usual! However, he gets on again pretty easily — that comes of
having so many things hung round the horse.” So she went on talking
to herself, as she watched the horse walking leisurely along the road, and
the Knight tumbling off, first on one side, and then on the other. After
the fourth or fifth tumble he reached the turn, and then she waved her
handkerchief to him; and waited till he was out of sight.

“T hope it encouraged him,” she said, as she turned to run down
the hill; “and now for the last brook, and to be a Queen! How grand
it sounds!” A very few steps brought her to the edge of the brook.
“The Eighth Square at last!” she cried as she bounded across, and
threw herself down to rest on a lawn as soft as moss, with little flower-
beds dotted about it here and there. ‘Oh, how glad I am to get here!
And what zs this on my head?” she exclaimed in a tone of dismay,
as she put her hands up to something very heavy that fitted tight all
round her head.

“* But how caz it have got there without my knowing it?” she said
to herself, as she lifted it off, and set it on her lap to make out what it
could possibly be.

It was a golden crown.
QUEEN ALICE. IgI

CHAPTER IX.
QUEEN ALICE.

“WELL, this zs grand!” said Alice. ‘I never expected I should be
a Queen so soon —and I'll tell you what it is, your Majesty,” she went
on ina severe tone’(she
was always rather fond
of scolding herself),
‘it'll never do for you
to be lolling about on
the grass like that!
Queens have to be dig-
nified, you know!”

So she got up and
walked about — rather



stiffly just at first, as

QUEEN ALICE.

she was afraid that the
crown might come off; but she comforted herself with the thought that
there was nobody to see her. “And if I really ama Queen,” she said,
as she sat down again, “I shall be able to manage it quite well in time.”

Everything was happening so oddly that she didn’t feel a bit sur-
prised at finding the Red Queen and the White Queen sitting close to
her, one on each side. She would have liked very much to ask them
how they came there, but she feared it would not be quite civil. How-
ever, there would be no harm, she thought, in asking if the game was
over.

“Please, would you tell me” — she began, looking timidly at the
Red Queen.
192 THROUGH THE LOOKING-—GLASS.

‘« Speak when you’re spoken to !”” the Queen sharply interrupted her.

“But if everybody obeyed that rule,” said Alice, who was always
ready for a little argument, “and if you only spoke when you were
spoken to, and the other person always waited for you to begin, you see
nobody would ever say anything, so that” —

* “ Ridiculous!” cried the Queen. ‘Why, don’t you see, child”? —
Here she broke off with a frown, and after thinking for a minute, sud-
denly changed the subject of the conversation. ‘‘ What do you mean
by ‘If you really are a Queen’? What right have you to call yourself
so? You can’t be a Queen, you know, till you’ve passed the proper
examination. And the sooner we begin it, the better.”

“T only said ‘if,’ ”’ poor Alice pleaded in a piteous tone.

The two Queens looked at each other, and the Red Queen remarked
with a little shudder, “She says she only said ‘if’? —

“But she said a great deal more than that,” the White Queen
moaned, wringing her hands. ‘Oh, ever so much more than that.”

“So you did, you know,” the Red Queen said to Alice. ‘“ Always
speak the truth —think before you speak — and write it down afterward.”

“Tm sure I didn’t mean” — Alice was beginning, but the Red
Queen interrupted her impatiently.

“That's just what I complain of. You should have meant! What
do you suppose is the use of a child without any meaning? Even a
joke should have some meaning — and a child’s more important than a
joke, I hope. You couldn’t deny that, even if you tried with both hands.”

“] don’t deny things with my hands,” Alice objected.

‘Nobody said you did,” said the Red Queen. ‘I said you couldn’t
if you tried.”

‘“‘She’s in that state of mind,” said the White Queen, “that she
wants to deny something — only she doesn’t know what to deny.”

‘“A nasty, vicious temper,” the Red Queen remarked; and then
there was an uncomfortable silence for a minute or two.

The Red Queen broke the silence by saying to the White Queen,
“‘T invite you to Alice’s dinner-party this afternoon.”
QUEEN ALICE. 193

The White Queen smiled feebly, and said, “And I invite you.”

“7 didn’t know I was to have a party at/all,’ said Alice; ‘but if
there is to be one,,I think / ought to invite the guests.”

“We gave you the opportunity of doing it,” the Red Queen re-
marked ; ‘‘ but I dare say you’ve not had many lessons in manners yet.”

‘Manners are not taught in lessons,” said Alice. ‘‘ Lessons teach
you to do sums, and things of that sort.”

“Can you do Addition?” the White Queen asked. ‘ What’s one
and one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one
and one?”

“7 don’t know,” said Alice. ‘J lost count.”

“She can’t do Addition,” the Red Queen interrupted. ‘Can you
dc Subtraction? Take nine from eight.”

‘“Nine from eight I can’t, you know,” Alice replied very readily ;
“but” —

“She can’t do Subtraction,” said the White Queen. ‘Can you do
Division? Divide a loaf by a knife — what’s the answer to that?”

“T suppose”? — Alice was beginning, but the Red Queen answered
for her. ‘‘ Bread-and-butter, of course. Try another Subtraction sum.
Take a bone from a dog — what remains?”

Alice considered. ‘The bone wouldn’t remain, of course, if I took
it; and the dog wouldn’t remain — it would come to bite me —and
I’m sure Z shouldn’t remain!”

“Then you think nothing would remain?” said the Red Queen.

‘“‘T think that’s the answer.”

at Wrong as usual,” said the Red Queen; “ the dog’s temper would
remain.”

‘But I don’t see how” —

“Why, look here!” the Red Queen cried. ‘‘ The dog would lose
its temper, wouldn’t it?”

“ Perhaps it would,” Alice replied cautiously.

“ Then, if the dog went away, its temper would remain !” the Queen
exclaimed triumphantly.
194 THROUGH THE LOOKING—GLASS.

Alice said, as gravely as she could, ‘‘ They might go different ways.”
But she couldn’t help thinking to herself, ““ What dreadful nonsense. we
are talking!”

“She can’t do sums a dz¢/” the Queens said together with great
emphasis.

“Can you do sums?” Alice said, turning suddenly on the White
Queen ; for she didn’t like being found fault with so much.

The Queen gasped, and shut her eyes. ‘I can do Addition,” she
said, “if you give me time; but I can’t do Subtraction under any
circumstances |”

‘Of course you know your A B C?” said the Red Queen.

“To be sure I do,” said Alice.

“So do I,” the White Queen whispered; ‘we'll often say it over
together, dear. And I'll tell you a secret —I can read words of one
- letter! Isn’t that grand? However, don’t be discouraged. You'll

come to it in time.”

Here the Red Queen began again. ‘‘ Can you answer useful ques-
tions?” she said. ‘“ How is bread made?” :
“T know ¢hat/” Alice cried eagerly. ‘You take some flour” —

“Where do you pick the flower?” the White eee asked aed
a garden, or in the hedges?”

“Well, it isn’t zcked at all,” Alice explained ; “ it’s oe —

“How many acres of ground?” said the White Queen. “ You
mustn’t leave out so many things.” .

“Fan her head!” the Red Queen anxiously interrupted. “ She'll
be feverish after so much thinking.” So they set to work, and fanned
her with bunches of leaves, till she had to beg them to leave off, it blew
her hair about so.

“ She’s all right again now,” said the Red Queen. “Do you know
Languages? What's the French for fiddle-de-dee?”

“ Fiddle-de-dee’s not English,” Alice replied gravely.

‘“Who ever said it was?” said the Red Queen.

Alice thought she saw a way out of the difficulty this time. “If
QUEEN ALICE. 195

you'll tell me what language ‘ fiddle-de-dee’ is, I’ll tell you the French
for it!”’ she exclaimed triumphantly.

But the Red Queen drew herself up rather stiffly, and said, ‘‘ Queens
never make bargains.”’.

“I wish Queens never asked questions,” Alice thought to herself.

“Don’t let us quarrel,” the White Queen said in an anxious tone;
“what is the cause of lightning ?”

“The cause of lightning,” Alice said very decidedly, for she felt
quite certain about this, “is the thunder — no, no!” she hastily cor-
rected herself, ‘‘I meant the other way.”

“It’s too late to correct it,’ said the Red Queen; ‘‘when you've
once said a thing, that fixes it, and you must take the consequences.”

“Which reminds me,” the White Queen said, looking down, and
nervously clasping and unclasping her hands, “we had szch a thunder-
storm last Tuesday — I mean one of the last set of Tuesdays, you know.” .

Alice was puzzled. ‘(In owr country,” she remarked, ‘“‘there’s only ;
one day at atime.”

The Red Queen said, “ That’s a poor, thin way of doing things.
Now, sere we mostly have days and nights two or three at a time, and
sometimes in the winter we take as many as five nights together — for
warmth, you know.” :

“ Are five nights warmer than one night, then?” Alice ventured to
ask. im

“ Five times as warm, of course.”

“ But they should be five times as cold, by the same rule ” —

“Just so!” cried the Red Queen. “ Five times as warm, and five
times as cold — just as I’m five times as rich as you are, and five times
as clever!”

Alice sighed, and gave. it up. “It’s exactly like a riddle with no
answer!” she thought.

“ Humpty Dumpty saw it too,” the White Queen went on in a low
voice, more as if she were talking to herself. ‘‘ He came to the door.
with a corkscrew in his hand ” —
196 THROUGH THE LOOKING-—GLASS. -

‘What did he want?” said the Red Queen. .

“ He said he would come in,” the White Queen went on,,. “ because
he was looking for a hippopotamus. Now, as it happened, there wasn’t '
such a thing in the house that morning.”

“Ts there generally?” Alice asked in an astonished tone.

‘Well, only on Thursdays,” said the Queen. .

‘“‘T know what he came for,” said Alice; ‘‘ he wanted to punish the
fish, because” —

Here the White Queen began again. ‘It was such a thunderstorm,
you can’t think!” (“‘ She zever could, you know,” said the Red Queen.)
“And part of the roof came off, and ever so much thunder got in—and
it went rolling round the room in great lumps—and knocking over the

‘tables and things—till I was so frightened I couldn’t remember my
own name A

Alice thought to herself, “I never should é-y to remember my name
in the middle of an accident! Where would be the use of it?” but she
did not say this aloud, for fear of hurting the poor Queen’s feelings.

“Your Majesty must excuse her,” the Red Queen said to Alice,
taking one of the White Queen’s hands in her own, and gently stroking
it; “she means well, but she can’t help saying foolish things, as a gen-
eral rule.”

The White Queen looked timidly at Alice, who felt she ought to
say something kind, but really couldn’t think of anything at the moment.

‘‘ She never was really well brought up,” the Red Queen went on:
“but it’s amazing how good-tempered she is! Pat her on the head,
and see how pleased she'll be!” But this was more than Alice had
courage to do.

“A little kindness—and putting her hair in papers—would do
wonders with her” —

The White Queen gave a deep sigh, and laid her head on Alice’s
shoulder. “I am so sleepy!” she moaned. _ :

‘«She’s tired, poor thing!” said the Red Queen. ‘“ Smooth her hair
—lend her your nightcap — and sing her a soothing lullaby.”

Liza
QUEEN ALICE. 'Q7

“T haven't got a nightcap with me,” said Alice, as she tried to obey
the first direction ; ‘‘and I don’t know any soothing lullabies.”
“T must do it myself, then,” said the Red Queen, and she began, —
“ Hush-a-by lady, in Alice’s lap!
Till the feast’s ready, we’ve time for a nap;

When the feast’s over, we'll go to the ball—
Red Queen, and White Queen, and Alice, and all!

“And now you know the words,” she added, as she put her head.
down on Alice’s other shoulder, ‘just sing it through to me; I’m get-
ting sleepy too.” In another moment both Queens were fast asleep,
and snoring loud.

“What am I to do?” exclaimed Alice, looking about in great per-
plexity, as first one round head, and then the other, rolled down from
her shoulder, and lay like a heavy lump in her tap: ‘‘T don’t think it
ever happened before that
any one had to take care
of two Queens asleep at
once! No, not in all the
History of England — it |
couldn’t, you know, be- Wi
cause there never was
more than one Queen at
a time. Do wake up, —




ty Ne
: ” AOR
you heavy things!” she Q ph WOR
% - i = i en Sy re Ne RY
went on in an impatient “ss Dancin coae) oon ane

tone; but there was no
% BOTH QUEENS WERE FAST ASLEEP.

answer but a gentle snoring.

The snoring got more distinct every minute, and sounded more like
a tune. At last she could even make out words, and she listened so
eagerly that when the two great heads suddenly vanished from her lap
she hardly missed them.

She was standing ‘before an arched doorway, over which were the

words QUEEN ALICE in large letters, and on each side of the arch
198 THROUGH THE LOOKING-—GLASS,

there was a bell-handle. One was marked “ Visitors’ Bell,” and the other
« Servants’ Bell.” 7

“T’'ll wait till the song’s over,” thought Alice, “ and then I'll ring
the — the — which bell must I ring?” she went on, very much puzzled
by the names. “I’m nota visitor, and I’m not a servant. There ought
to be one marked ‘ Queen,’ you know” —

Just then the door opened a little way, and a creature with a long
beak put its head out for a moment, and said, “ No admittance till the

- week after next!” and shut the
door again with a bang.

Alice knocked and rang in
vain for a long time ; but at last
a very old Frog, who was sit-
ting under a tree, got up and
hobbled slowly toward her. He
was dressed in bright yellow,
and had enormous boots on.

‘‘ What is it now?” the Frog
said in a deep, hoarse whisper.

Alice turned round, ready
to find fault with anybody. -
“Where's the servant whose
|?) business it is to answer the
| door ?” she began angrily.

“Which door?” said the
Frog.

Alice almost stamped with
irritation at the slow drawl in which he spoke. ‘“ Zzs door, of course!”

The Frog looked at the door with his large dull eyes for a minute ;
then he went nearer and rubbed it with his thumb, as if he were trying
whether the paint would come off; then he looked at Alice.

‘To answer the door?” he said. ‘‘ What’s it been asking of ?” He
was so hoarse that Alice could scarcely hear him.



“‘ WHAT’S IT BEEN ASKING OF?” SAID THE FROG.
QUEEN ALICE. 199

“ T don’t know what you mean,” she said.
“T speaks English, doesn’t 1?” the Frog went on. “Or are you
deaf? What did it ask you?”
“ Nothing!” Alice said impatiently. ‘I’ve been knocking at it!”
«“ Shouldn’t do that — shouldn’t do that,” the Frog muttered.
. «Wexes it, you know.” Then he went up and gave the door a kick
with one of his great feet. ‘‘ You let z¢ alone,” he panted out, as he
hobbled back to his tree, ‘and it'll let yew alone, you know.”
At this moment the door was flung open, and a shrill voice was
heard singing : —
“To the Looking-Glass world it was Alice that said,
‘I’ve a sceptre in hand, I’ve a crown on my head;

Let the Looking-Glass creatures, whatever they be,
Come and dine with the Red Queen, the White Queen, and me!’”

And hundreds of voices joined in the chorus : —

“Then fill up the glasses as quick as you can,
And sprinkle the table with buttons and bran;
Put cats in the coffee, and mice in the tea—
And welcome Queen Alice with thirty-times-three!”

Then followed a confused noise of cheering, and Alice thought to
herself, “‘ Thirty times three makes ninety. 1 wonder if any one’s count-
ing?” Ina minute there was silence again, and the same shrill voice
sang another verse:— | fs

“ ¢Q Looking-Glass creatures,’ quoth Alice, ‘draw near!
’Tis an honor to see me, a favor to hear;

’Tis a privilege high to have dinner and tea
Along with the Red Queen, the White Queen, and me Wea

Then came the chorus again : —

“Then fill up the glasses with treacle and ink,
Or anything else that is pleasant to drink ;
Mix sand with the cider, and wool with the wine —
And welcome Queen Alice with ninety-times-nine !”

“ Ninety times nine!” Alice repeated in despair. “ Oh, that'll never
200 THROUGH THE LOOKING—GLASS.

be done! I'd better go in at once;” and in she went, and there was a
dead silence the moment she appeared.

Alice glanced nervously along the table as she walked up the large
hall, and noticed that there were about fifty guests, of all kinds; some
were animals, some birds, and there were even a few flowers among them.
“T’m glad they’ve come without waiting to be asked,” she thought; “I
should never have known who were the right people to invite!”

There were three chairs at the head of the table; the Red and White
Queens had already taken two of them, but the middle one was empty.
Alice sat down in it, rather uncomfortable at the silence, and longing
for some one to speak.

At last the Red Queen began. ‘You've missed the soup and fish,” -
she said. ‘ Put on the joint!” And the waiters set a leg of mutton
before Alice, who looked at it rather anx-
iously, as she had never had to carve a
joint before.

“You look a little shy;.let me intro-
duce you to that leg of mutton,” said the
Red Queen, ‘‘ Alice— Mutton; Mutton —
Alice.” The leg of mutton got up in the
dish and made a little bow to Alice; and
Alice returned the bow, not knowing
whether to be frightened or amused.

““May I give you a slice?” she said,
taking up the knife and fork, and look-
ing from one Queen to the other.

“Certainly not,” the Red Queen said
very decidedly; it isn’t etiquette to cut
any one you've been introduced to. Remove the joint!” And the
waiters carried it off, and brought a large plum-pudding in its place. _

‘“‘T won’t be introduced to the pudding, please,” Alice said rather
hastily, “or we shall get no dinner at all. May I give you some?”

“But the Red Queen looked sulky, and growled, ‘‘ Pudding — Alice ;



THE LEG OF MUTTON RESPONDS,
QUEEN ALICE. 201

Alice— Pudding. Remove the pudding!” and the waiters took it away
so quickly that Alice couldn’t return its bow.

However, she didn’t see why the Red Queen should be the only one
to give orders, so, as an experiment, she called out, ‘‘ Waiter! Bring back
the pudding!” and there it was again in a moment, like a conjuring
trick. It was so large that she couldn’t help feeling a /z¢é/e shy with it,
as she had been with the mutton ; however, she conquered her shyness
by a great effort, and cut a slice and handed it to the Red Queen.

‘‘What impertinence!” said the Pudding. ‘“I wonder how you'd
like it, if I were to cut a slice out of you, you creature !”

It spoke in a thick, suety sort of voice, and Alice hadn’t a word to
say in reply; she could only sit and look at it and gasp.

“Make a remark,” said the Red Queen; ‘‘it’s ridiculous to leave all
the conversation. to the pudding!”

“Do you know, I’ve had such a quantity of poetry repeated to me
to-day,” Alice began, a little frightened at finding that the moment she
opened her lips there was a dead silence, and all eyes were fixed upon
her; “and it’s a very curious thing, I think—every poem was about
fishes in some way. Do you know why they’re so fond of fishes all about
nenetas

She spoke to the Red Queen, whose answer was a little wide of the
mark. ‘As to fishes,” she said very slowly and solemnly, putting her
mouth close to Alice’s ear, “her White Majesty knows a lovely riddle—
all in poetry —all about fishes. Shall she repeat it?”

“Her Red Majesty’s very kind to mention it,” the White Queen
murmured into Alice’s other ear, in a voice like the cooing of a pigeon.
“Tt would be such a treat! May lee?

“Please do,” Alice said very politely.

The White Onsen laughed with delight, and eed Alice’s. cheek.

Then she began : —
“¢ First, the fish must be caught.’
That is easy: a baby, I think, could have caught it.
‘Next, the fish must be bought.’
That is easy: a penny, I think,.would have bought it.
202 THROUGH THE -LOOKING—GLASS.

‘Now cook me the fish!’

That is easy, and will not take more than a minute.
‘Let it lie in a dish!’

That is easy, because it already is in it.

‘Bring it here! Let me sup!’

It is easy, to set such a dish on the table.
‘Take the dish-cover up!’

Ah, that is so hard that I fear I’m unable!

For it holds it like glue —

Holds the lid to the dish, while it lies in the middle:
Which is easiest to do,

Un-dish-cover the fish, or dishcover the riddle?”

“Take a minute to think about it, and then guess,” said the Red
Queen. ‘“ Meanwhile, we’ll drink your health. Queen Alice’s health!”
she screamed at the top of her voice, and all the guests began drinking
it directly, and very queerly they managed it; some of them put their
glasses upon their heads like extinguishers, and drank all that trickled
down their faces — others upset the decanters, and drank the wine as it
ran off the edges of the table—and three of them (who looked like
kangaroos) scrambled into the dish of roast mutton, and began eagerly
lapping up the gravy, “just like pigs in a trough!” thought Alice.

‘““You ought to return thanks in a neat speech,” the Red Queen
said, frowning at Alice as she spoke.

‘We must support you, you know,” the White Queen whispered,
as Alice got up to do it, very obediently, but a little frightened.

“Thank you very much,” she whispered in reply, “but J can do
quite well without.”

‘That wouldn’t be at all the thing,” the Red Queen said very de-
cidedly ; so Alice tried to submit to it with a good grace.

(‘And they ad push so!” she said afterward, when she was telling
her sister the history of the feast. ‘You would have thought they
wanted to squeeze me flat!) . :

In fact, it was rather difficult for her to keep in her place while she
made her speech; the two Queens pushed her so, one on each side,
QUEEN ALICE. ; 203

that they nearly lifted her up into the air. ‘I rise to return thanks” —
Alice began; and she really add rise as she spoke, several inches; but
she got hold of the edge of the table, and managed to pull herself down
again. 5
‘“Take care of yourself!” screamed the White Queen, seizing Alice’s
hair with both her hands. ‘‘ Something’s going to happen!”
And then (as Alice afterward described
HE Bae it) all sorts of things happened in a moment.
The candles all grew up to the ceiling, look-
ing something like a bed of rushes with fire-
works at the top. As to the bottles, they
each took a pair of plates, which they hastily
fitted on as wings, and so, with forks for legs,
went fluttering about in all directions; “and
very like birds they look,” Alice thought to
herself, as well as she could in the dreadful
confusion that was beginning. _












At this moment
she heard a hoarse
laugh at her side, and
turned to see what
was the matter with
the White Queen,
but instead of the
Queen, there was the
leg of mutton sitting
in the chair. ‘‘ Here
I am!” cried a voice
from the soup-tu-
reen; and Alice
turned again, just
in time to see the

ef
SHE SEIZED THE TABLE-CLOTH. QO ueen 5s broa d,
204 THROUGH THE LOOKING—GLASS.

good-natured face grinning at her for a moment over the edge of the
tureen, before she disappeared into the soup.

There was not a moment to’be lost. -Already several of. the guests
were lying down in the dishes, and the soup-ladle was walking up the
table toward Alice’s chair, and beckoning to her impatiently to get out .
of its way.

“I can’t stand this any longer!” she cried, as she jumped up and
seized the table-cloth with both hands; one good pull, and plates, dishes,
guests, and candles came crashing down together in.a heap on ‘the floor.

“And as for you,’ she went on, turning fiercely upon’ the Red
Queen, whom she considered as the cause of all the mischief —but' the
Queen was no longer at her side. She had suddenly dwindled down
to the size of a little doll, and was now on the table merrily running
round and rourd after her own shawl, which was trailing behind her:

At any other time Alice would have felt surprised at: this, ‘but ‘she
was far too much excited to be surprised at anything zow. “As for
you,” she repeated, catching hold of the little creature in the very act
of jumping over a bottle which had just lighted upon the table, “*T’ll
shake you into a kitten, that I will!”
SHAKING. — WAKING. 205

CHAPTER X.

SHAKING.

Sue took her off the table as she spoke,
and shook her backward and forward with
all her might.

The Red Queen made no resistance
whatever; only her face grew very small,
and her eyes got large and green; and
still, as Alice went on shaking her, she
kept on growing shorter—and fatter —
and softer — and rounder — and —



“VPLL-SHAKE YOU —

GLUE Rae a

WAKING.
- 1

—and it really was a kitten, after all.







—INTO A KITTEN.”


206 - THROUGH THE LOOKING-—GLASS.

CHAPTER XII.
WHICH DREAMED IT?’

“Your: Red Majesty shouldn’t purr so loud,” Alice said, rubbing
her eyes, and addressing the kitten respectfully, yet with some severity.
“You woke me out of oh! such
a nice dream! And you've
been along with me, Kitty—
all through the Looking-Glass
world. Did you know it,
dear?”

It is a very inconvenient
habit of kittens (Alice had once
made the remark) ‘that, what-
ever you say to them, they a/-
ways purr. “If they would
only purr for ‘yes,’ and mew
= for ‘no,’ or any rule of that

sort,’ she had said, “so that
_one could keep up a conversa-
tion! But how can you talk

—— Sa
SAE



“TM SURE YOUR PAW CAN WAIT,” SAID ALICE.

.

with a person if they always say the same thing?”
On this occasion the kitten only purred; and it was impossible to

”

guess whether it meant “yes” or “no.
So Alice hunted among the chessmen on the table till she found the
Red Queen; then she went down on her knees on the hearth-rug, and
put the kitten and the Queen to look at each other. ‘‘ Now, Kitty,” she
cried, clapping her hands, “confess that was what you turned into!”
eee

ale






WE ee at Se ee Pi

WHICH ee IT? _207

(‘‘ But it wouldn’t look at it,” she said, when she was explaining the
thing afterward to her sister; “ it turned away its head, and pretended
not to see it; but it looked a ttle ashamed of itself, so I think it must
have been the Red Queen.”)

‘‘ Sit up a little more stiffly, dear!” Alice cried with a merry laugh.
‘And courtesy while you’re thinking what to — what to purr. It saves
time, remember!” And she caught it up, and gave it one little kiss,
‘‘just in honor of its having been a Red Queen.”

‘‘ Snowdrop, my pet!” she went on, looking over her shoulder at the
White Kitten, which was still patiently undergoing its toilet, “when w2//
Dinah have finished with your White Majesty, I wonder? That must
be the reason you were so untidy in my dream. Dinah, do you know
that you're scrubbing a White Queen? Really, it’s most disrespectful
of you! .

“And what did Dinah turn to, I wonder?” she prattled on, as she
settled comfortably down, with one elbow on the rug, and her chin in her
hand, to watch the kittens. “Tell me, Dinah, did you turn to Humpty
Dumpty? I ¢hzxk you did — however, you'd better not mention it to
your friends just yet, for I’m not sure. %

“ By the way, Kitty, if only you’d been really with me in my dream,
there was one thing you woud have enjoyed —I had such a quantity of
poetry said to me, all about fishes! To-morrow morning you shall have a
real treat. While you're eating breakfast, I’ll repeat ‘The Walrus and the
Carpenter’ to you; and then you can make believe it’s oysters dear!

‘Now, Kitty, let’s consider who it was that dreamed it all. This is
a serious question, my dear, and you should zof go on licking your paw
like that—as if Dinah hadn’t washed you this morning! You see,
Kitty, it west have been either me or the Red King. He was part of
my dream, of course—but then I was part of his dream too! Was
‘it the Red King, Kitty? You were his wife, my dear, so you ought to
know. O Kitty, do help to settle it! I’m sure your paw can wait!”
But the provoking kitten only began on the other paw, and pretended
it hadn’t heard the question.


THROUGH THE LOOKING—GLASS.

Which do you think it was?

A boat, beneath a sunny sky,
Lingering onward dreamily
.In an evening of July —

Children three that nestle near,
Eager. eye and willing ear,
Pleased a simple tale to hear —

Long has paled that sunny sky;
Echoes fade and memories die;
Autumn frosts have slain July.

Still she haunts me, phantomwise,
Alice moving under skies
Never seen by waking eyes.

Children yet, the tale to hear,

Eager eye and willing ear,
Lovingly shall nestle near.

In a Wonderland they lie,
Dreaming as the days go by,
Dreaming as the summers die.

Ever drifting down the stream —
Lingering in the golden gleam —
Life, what is it but a dream?

THE END.