The Baldwin Library
LADY CHAFFINCH'S BALL.
HEIGH-HO! well, I am at home again at last. I wonder
if I am the same innocent little Linnet that left these lowers
ipnly three months ago. What have I seen, where have I
..been ? -or rather, What have I not seen, where have I not
.been? I have visited China and Peru, Nova Scotia,
Trinidad, and Tuscany; I have been to Sweden, Egypt,
Germany, and Mexico, and I have some recollections of
4Sardinia, and the United States. This is good travelling
Sfor three months, is it not?
Let me think: how shall I tell you about it? I will
:-begin at the beginning-
Three months ago, as I was sitting in our summer-house,
: warbling one of my newest songs, our page Tom -Tom-tit
.e call him, he is such a funny little fellow -brought me a
tter that had just been left by the postboy.
I have it by heart.
My dear little Songbird," -this is a name they gave to
from my infancy, for they say I could sing before I could.
LADY CHAFFINCH'S BALL.
speak, -" My dear little Songbird," thus the letter began,
"All the world is coming to London this spring to see the
most wonderful of sights; try and persuade my dear sister,
that kind Mamma of yours, to let you pay your long-promised
visit to me. You must come in May, and you may stay with
me as long as you can bear to be away from your delightful
home. Let me know when I may expect you.
"Your loving Aunt,
And I remember that the envelope was addressed,
"Lady Linnet, Gorse Bush, Somersetshire;" and that in
the left-hand corner there was written, "For Miss Linnet."
Did not I fly to my "kind Mamma" as soon as I had read
this note, and when she had consented that I should go to
see that dear old Aunt of mine in London, did not I half
smother her with kisses. I thought the first of May would
never come,-but it did; and Tom-tit was sent to London
with me by the railway to take care of me.
My good Aunt received me with the greatest kindness,
and her son Drinkwater, ope of the handsomest young fellows
I ever saw in my life, began whispering compliments to me
as soon as ever we were left together. I had a lovely
little boudoir entirely for my own use, and my page Tom-tit
had nothing else to do but wait on me. My cousin Drink-
I LADY CHAFFINCH S BALL. 3
oiter and I were soon great friends; he took me to the
loera, where I listened to singing such as I had never heard
t Gorse Bush; he took me to the Chiswick Fete, where I
iw flowers such as I had never dreamed of; and he took me
4 how many times? well, I can't recollect to that dear, de-
ightful Crystal Palace, where we visited more foreign countries
han I knew of in my Geography, and where we often found
raselves quite alone, looking at those charming seeds from
he West India Islands; and where we enjoyed some of the
lost delightful days of all our lives,- at least, Drinkwater
Sid so; and I think I must say so too.
SEvery one has been to the Crystal Palace, so it is of no use
Ping about the Koh-i-noor, or the fierce-looking Amazon,
S.the beautiful Veiled Vestal, or the Greek Slave, or those
irrible-looking owls or funny foxes, or the other Comical
creatures that came from Wurtemberg. I will, therefore,
l. you how we amused ourselves when we were not inclined
b have our brains bewildered.
. First, let me inform you that my cousin, who was born in
mudon, knows all the grand people by sight, and bows to a
Oeat many of them. You may imagine what a treat it was
Mmne, who had lived in a country village all my life, to see
ifth my own eyes His Royal Highness the Prince, or His
.tace the Duke, or Her Grace the Duchess, or His Excellency
he Marquis, or the Most Noble the Marchioness, pass by in
LADY HAFFINCH'S BALL.
their grand, carriages. How I used to stand on tip-toe to
get a glimpse of their faces over the people's heads, and how
Drinkwater used to laugh at me.
One morning we were walking in Hyde Park, amusing
ourselves in the usual way, when Drinkwater whispered to
me hurriedly, "Here come a great Lion and Lioness." You
may imagine my sensations. Bewildered with terror, I was
about to leave him, and fly; but when I turned with trembling
limbs and looked in the direction he pointed out, I saw that
these fearful creatures appeared quite harmless: in fact, the
great Lion, though he looked very magnificent, was quietly
smoking a cigar; and except that the Lioness stared very
'fiercely, and wore spurs, and carried a riding-whip, I really
don't think I should have known that she was a Lioness.
A little Tiger, leading the Lioness's horse, followed them at
a short distance.
I noticed that every one made way for these important
members of society, who, indeed, seemed to think the earth
hardly good enough for them to walk upon; but when they
had passed by, I heard the people say, "That's the great
Mr. Grandboy. He is one of our celebrated Lions. He is
a perfect literary Beau Brummel; the author of several
novels, that have been read prodigiously; he composes
operas, sets the fashion of the cravat, and, they say, writes
leaders for 'The Times.'"
TH-R THE N .D R
.. .. ...
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-- ; ii- SL -~P-~~
"_~ Ci ".._.-" 1- : = ..-_ __--- = ._-
THE GREAT M1R. GRANUDBOY,ANVD THE PION. MRS. DELMIACARE.
LADY CHAFFINCH'S BALL. 5
, And who, pray, is the Lioness ?"
,That is the Hon. Mrs. Delmacare. She writes novels,
follows the hounds, and often whips her Tiger."
iuch were the remarks of the crowd.
lrinkwater told me that some of these Lions and Lionesses
!Oost extraordinary things, and that people run after them
.invite them to the most costly entertainments, where they
expected to amuse the guests by their roars. I am glad
Snot a Lioness.
When I had some hat recovered from the agitation caused
this rencontre, water persuaded me to take a walk
t. James's Park see those charming ducks, and the
Sswans, and thef ueer little creatures that dive so prettily.
.passed under. t arch with the great horse on the top;
kted my cousin ~if he knew what country such horses were
ad in, but he wouldd not tell me, and we walked on and
i came to the queen's Palace.
flere let me take breath;- just at the very moment we
shed the gateway, out rolled the royal carriage, and in it,
Eur great happiness, we beheld her Most Gracious Majesty
1een, and His Royal Highness the prince Albert; and
them were those dear children, the Princess Royal and
"Prince of Wiles Heaven bless them! How I didi lkng
ss them both. When the last wheel of the royal carriage
t quite out of sight,.we turned to look at the palace that
s/' '+ ''* '. *I
.6 LADY CHAFFINCHES BALL.
the Queen lived in, and Drinkwater pointed out to me the
funniest creature that ever Tr-aw standing on a pedestal by
the gate. He said it was a Unicorn, and that it was put
there on purpose to make the Queen laugh. After we had
counted the thousand and one windows in the front of the
Palace, we strolled along the pleasant path by the little lake,
and watched the children as they came with cakes in their
hands to feed those greedy geese, that seemed as if they would
gobble up cakes, and children, and all.
While we were resting ourselves on a seat under the trees,
some distant relations of ours, the Sparrowes of Evryware,
passed by. It was well they did not see us, for some of them
know me, and I must confess that I should not like to have
been seen speaking to such shabby ill-looking fellows. I
wonder what their relations in the country would have said,
had they seen them in such wretched condition. Their coats
were torn, one of them had lost part of his tail, and their faces
looked as if they had not been washed since the last shower
of rain. Fearing lest the Sparrowes should return and dis-
cover us, I asked Drinkwater to ta1k the ferry-boat to the
other side; and just as we landed we, had the pleasure of
seeing the great Lord Bison introduce his sister, Lady
Dorothy Zebu, to the renowned Admiral Macaw. You
should have seen the polite bow of the admiral, and the*
delightful curtsey of the lady, I was charmed beyond ex-
LADY ZEBU AND ADMIRAL MACAW.
~~____1___1__ ___ ~ _____1_ __I_ ~ ____ __i~
LADY CHAFFINCH S BALL. 7
S.Jression. Lord Bison has a fine military air; they say he
fought many battles on the American prairies. Lady Dorothy,
: who has just come from India, has, on the contrary, a mild,
;ibenignant countenance, and, I am told, is very religious. The
Admiral was covered with gold, and purple, and scarlet, and
:Alooked for all the world like one of his namesakes in that
beautifull place, the Zoological Gardens.
S This was one of my most eventful days in London, and
SI shall long remember it.
SBut now I must tell you of that evening shall I confess
it? the happiest evening of my life-when Drinkwater and I
: went to Lady Chaffinch's ball. My Aunt was too indisposed
to accompany us; she therefore called her son, and told him
to take great care of me, as much as if I were his own sister.
I have an idea that if my dear Aunt knew all, she would have
said that he rather exceeded his instructions: but never mind,
he took great care of me.
The carriage came for us at ten o'clock, when, had I
been at Gorse Bush, I should have been fast asleep on my
perch,-as Drinkwater says, for he loves to plague me about
being a Linnet. My Cousin was beautifully attired; he wore
a most superb cravat, of a deep ruby colour, and an under-
Wfaistcoat of the brightest amber; but, in fact, he always
attracts s admiration; and I think, without vanity, that I looked
6 0tremely well in the new brown dress I took with me from
LADY CHAFFINCH S BALL.
home. At a quarter past ten we entered Lady Chaffinch's
ball-room, and, for a moment, I was perfectly bewildered;
indeed, Drinkwater had to apologise to our hostess for my
strange behaviour by saying I was not quite well. However,
her ladyship, whom I had often seen in the country, was very
kind to me, led me to a seat, and began asking after her old
friends. This soon brought me to my senses; and after a
little while I could bear to look at the dazzling chandeliers,
the magnificent pier glasses, and the splendidly dressed
people, without being giddy at the sight. Soon after our
arrival, the band commenced playing, and some of the com-
pany arranged themselves for a dance. Old Sir Cayman
Alligator, an East-Indian Director, led out the graceful Lady
Caroline Giraffe, who, I must say, deserved the praise young
Nightingale bestowed upon her, when he said, she was one of
"Nature's nobility." I could not but admire her large, full
eyes, which looked at you so tenderly, and the gentle bending
of her beautiful neck; and then, what a contrast she was to
her horrid-looking partner! I suppose he must be very rich,
or I cannot think why Lady Chaffinch should have invited
him. Opposite to them stood young Lord Crowe, a younger
brother of the noble Earl of Ravenskind, and with him was
the Honourable Miss Pigeon. Lord Crowe is a good-looking
fellow, rather dark, it must be confessed; but as he wears
glasses, he looks very interesting. They say that his brother,
LADY COHAFFINCH S BALL.
the Earl, has picked up his groat wealth in a most unaccount-
able manner, and that the whole family have a singular want
of discrimination in the meaning of the words meum and tuum.
His partner, who had a nice, dove-coloured dress on, appeared
very desirous of pleasing the young Lord, and I thought they
seemed very happy together. The other couples were Sir
Hector Downcharge, of Kennelhouse, a great sportsman,
who came in his militia uniform, and Miss Pie, the daughter
of the celebrated Mrs. Margaret, or Mag Pie, as'her neigh-,7
bours call her. And opposite to them were a Mr. Puddock,
a person connected with the City, who, through the death
Sof a relative, has just come into possession of a fine marshy
estate among the Lincolnshire Fens; and Miss Lavinia
Greyhound, who, as all the world knows, was a long time
engaged to young Hare, who ran away from her in a very
shameful way, and hurt her feelings so much that she did
not appear again in public for several months.
Drinkwater and I stood aside, and entertained ourselves
with quiet remarks to each other, not always complimentary
to the company. He thought Miss Pie the prettiest of the
dancers, and certainly she was sweetly dressed, and looked
very well. Her partner, Sir Hector, was, without doubt, the
handsomest of the gentlemen, though he appeared to me to
give himself airs, like an overfed spaniel that has been too
much petted, and to lounge about in a way not at all becoming
LADY CHAFFINCH'S BALL.
a lady's ball-room. The little fellow from the City, his
vis-a-vis, was a very different person-he seemed determined
to let us all know that he had lately been taking twelve
dancing-lessons of Madame Hopper, for he turned his toes
out in the most elegant way, and was evidently quite impressed
with a belief that he was astonishing the spectators with his
surprising agility. The very tie of his cravat made Drink-
water nearly die with suppressed laughter; and when the
youth began dancing, we were obliged to take a walk into
the adjoining Conservatory, lest our merriment should be
discovered. I never knew a more delightful place than this
Conservatory; the flowers in it are brighter than I have seen
elsewhere; and some that Drinkwater gathered for me were
far sweeter than any I had ever known before. We staid
sometime in this Conservatory looking at the beautiful exotics,
and talking of nothing else but of them and the weather;
and it was not till we had been there more than half-an-hour
that I discovered that we were quite alone. We immediately
returned to the ball-room, where, luckily, our absence had not
been discovered, and in a few minutes were whirling round
in a most delightful waltz.
But I have forgotten the rest of the company. Foremost
in dignity was the Countess Auk, of Stornaway Rock, in
the Hebrides; and with her were her two nieces, Lady Isa-
bella Snipe and the Honourable Miss Woodcock. I saw Mr.
LADY CHAFFINCH'S BALL.
Reynard, the celebrated member for Hollowoak, having a long
gossip with the Countess and her young charges, for both of
whom he seemed to profess great admiration. Mr. Jay, the
member for Chatterfield, was likewise there, and paid a good
deal of attention, I thought, to the Honourable Miss Dove, a
cousin of Miss Pigeon's. Miss Dove plays very nicely, and
sometimes; when the band required rest, she rattled off a
waltz in fine style, Mr. Jay most attentively turning the
Drinkwater also pointed out to me Miss Stork, the
daughter of the Attorney-General, so famous for the length of
his bill; Miss Blaccap, who, they say, sings as sweetly as a
Robin-Redbreast; Lord Bruin, who has just come from a
tour in Russia; the Right Honourable Mr. Ramshead; and
a crowd of folks, more or less known, most of whom would
stand by the doorway and prevent the servants and the fresh
air from entering the room.
About three o'clock the Countess of Auk's carriage was
summoned, and the company began to retire. Drinkwater
and I stood shivering on the stairs full half-an-hour before
Lady Goldfinch's brougham was announced; and when we
reached home, I found I had been fast asleep with my head
on Drinkwater's shoulder.
Ten days after Lady Chaffinch's ball, I was obliged to
tear myself away from my kind aunt and my dear cousin,
LADY CHAFFINCH S BALL.
and with only Tom-tit for my companion, to return to this
dismal Gorse Bush, which I used to think the sweetest of
homes. Now I do nothing but wonder how long it will be
before my aunt invites me to London again. Tom-tit brings
me letters from the post-boy much oftener than before, and
were it not for them, I do not think I could bear my
This is the substance of some letters I have lately received
from my dear friend, Julia Linnet. She is a warm-hearted
little thing, easily led away by her enthusiasm. At first, I
was afraid she would pine away with melancholy; but all
my uneasiness was dispelled a few mornings since, when a
lace-bordered envelope reached me, enclosing two cards tied
together with silver-cord, on one of which was written,-
r' .- __ II
-r.--~---------- -- -~-1 ~-- ------~--r~c~-
,j,,- ----~ ---------- --- ---- bl:~i;c~SUh~
THE LORD OF THE MANOR.
SIR VANE PEACOCK was the owner of large estates in
Cumberland, and a great game preserver. His tenantry were
bound to protect all the hares, partridges, and pheasants that
fed on their young corn; and, in return, Sir Vane entertained
them once a-year with a dinner of roast mutton and potatoes,
when good luck enabled them to bring their rents on Old
Michaelmas-day. A great personage was Sir Vane Peacock.
He was the possessor of two thousand acres of the richest
arable land in the county, besides his own park and grounds,
of a hundred and twenty acres, well covered with fine trees.
Sir Vane would have been happy but for one circumstance:
he could not prevent the village poachers from destroying his
Game. It was in vain that he employed keepers and offered
rewards for every depredator they apprehended or killed;
year after year rolled by, and still Sir Vane's great struggle
in life was to preserve his partridges. Sir Vane was a county
, magistrate, and it may be imagined how summarily he dealt
. with all offenders brought before him. In one year, two
THE LORD OF THE MANOR.
young fellows, named Martin and Weesel, both belonging to
the village, were shot by his keepers, Martin in the leg and
Weesel in the back, because they were found near a rabbit-
warren at a suspicious hour in the evening; and an old fellow,
whom they called Horny Owl, was so severely beaten on
the head by one of the Baronet's men, that he only lived
two days afterwards. Old Horny was concealed in the trunk
of a hollow oak, and was found there with no less than three
young partridges in his possession, which he pleaded he was
about to take home for his little ones' supper. But Sir Vane
could never catch the rascals who did the most mischief: one
was a notorious character, known as Bill Kite; the others a
family of brothers, whose name was Lurcher. These were too
old at the sport, and too cunning, to let the keepers get near
them, and it is believed they made a very excellent living out
of Sir Vane's game-preserves.
Among the Baronet's tenantry was a Mr. Pointer, a
thoroughly well-bred individual, who lived at a farm close
by the park, and who generally accompanied Sir Vane on his
shooting-excursions. Mr. Pointer had but one son, named
Carlo, with whose training he had taken much pains, and
at an early age Carlo promised soon to know as much about
field matters as his worthy father. But Carlo had one failing
which his parent little dreamed of. On one occasion, when
on a visit to a neighboring farm, the youth had tasted a hare,
THE LORD OF THE MANOR.
and ever afterwards he longed to regale himself again on
such delightful food. One unlucky morning Carlo was
rambling about his father's farm with a gun on his arm,
merely to shoot the rooks and frighten away the sparrows,
when a hare jumped out of her form and ran away straight
before him. The opportunity was too tempting. Bang! went
Carlo's gun, and poor pussy tumbled head over heels. Carlo
looked round him with anxious glances, and fancying the coast
was clear, took up his prize and put it in his pocket; lut just
as he was vaulting over a gate, Towser, the head-keeper at the
park, emerged from behind the hedge, and, without a word,
took Carlo's gun from his arm and the hare from his pocket.
Carlo. was no match for Towser, so he allowed himself to be
led before the great Sir Vane without opposition. Towser
related the whole of Carlo's terrible offence, which he had wit-
nessed from behind the fence, and the indignant Sir Vane
demanded the criminal's reply. Carlo assumed a bold and
careless air; told the Baronet that he wished to have the hare
for his dinner, and that he could see no harm in killing animals
that were feeding on his father's corn. This enraged Sir Vane
to such an extent that he started from his chair, seized the gun
from Towser, and would certainly have shot Carlo on the spot,
had not the youth sprung upon the Baronet, wrenched the gun
out of his hands, and laid him sprawling on the floor. Towser
ran to his master's assistance, and Carlo, without waiting for
THE LORD OF THE MANOR.
his sentence, jumped through the open window into the garden,
flew across the lawn with the speed of a greyhound, and quickly
put forty long miles between himself and Peacock Hall.
Ten days afterwards Carlo read in "The Sportsman's
Chronicle" that, much to the regret of his family and a numer-
ous circle of admiring friends, Sir Vane Peacock had died
suddenly of apoplexy, brought on by a fall. Not a word was
said about the cause of the accident; indeed the Baronet, on
his deathbed, remembering that he himself had commenced the
outrage, had expressly forbidden Towser to mention it, and
Carlo thought that he might as well return home at once.
Sir Vane Peacock left no children, and the estates descended
to his cousin, Sir Java Peacock, who, fortunately for Carlo, had
been too long a witness of the evils arising from game-pre-
serving to wish to continue them. Immediately after taking
possession, the new landlord sent a note round, informing
every tenant on his estate that he was at perfect liberty to
shoot or course all the game he found on his own farm.
It is said that from that time Carlo dined off roast hare and
currant-jelly at least once in every week for the remainder of
--2' I I II :
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f ~-"-r.,.. c* *.~
.-_ CC~'LL ---r-
~_-' :1-~:~~;~~-~:`--~-. ..- -.'il'E. C II J
A COUNTRY STORY. BY WARREN RABBITT.
IN a charming retreat, upon the borders of a wood in
Gloucestershire, I once enjoyed the society of some friends,
named Leverett, with whom I was very intimate. They seemed
to be the happiest little family in the world, subsisted mostly
on the produce of their farm, and always welcomed a neighbour
like myself with great hospitality. I resided at that time at a
pleasant place called the Sandpits, not far from their abode,
and I often looked in as I passed by, for half an hour's chat
with the old lady, or to ask Jack or his brother Bob to take a
stroll with me in the woods. The father was remarkable for
his extreme caution, seldom went far from home, and never
meddled with other people's affairs. It would have been well
had his sons followed his example; but then I should not have
had this tale to tell.
Close by us, at the largest farm-house in the county, there
lived a Mr. Chanticleer, one of the proudest and most irritable
.fello-s ever had the misfortune to meet with. To see the
airs with which he strutted about his farm-yard, and drove
all the ducks and geese flying to make way for him, often made
Jack Leverett and myself laugh: but when he went out for a
walk with his wife and daughters, his consequence appeared to
be increased tenfold, and one wondered where the path was
broad enough for him to walk upon.
Mr. Chanticleer was extremely jealous of any intrusion
upon his property, and warned off every one who did but set
foot on his land. Tom Leverett knew this well enough, and
knew what a pugnacious and litigious fellow his neighbour was,
so he ought to have been more careful than to give Chanticleer
any ground of complaint. Tom, it appears, had a great taste
for botany, and often rose early to indulge in his favourite
pursuit. One morning, in the ardour of his search for some
particular plant, Tom crept through the hedge into one of
his neighbour's fields; and so much absorbed was he in the
discovery of some sweet-tasting grass which he had never
before met with, that he did not notice the approach of Mr.
Chanticleer, until that worthy was close upon him.
Chanticleer, it appears, always made a practice of rising
early; but though Tom had distinguished his voice-so loud
you might have heard it half a mile off-calling to the people
in the farm-yard, he did not at all expect a visit from him in
the particular field that he was examining.
"Well, sir," said Mr. Chanticleer to Tom, in an =authori-
tative tone, as he came close up to him, "may I ask what
brings you here ?"
"I am studying botany," replied Tom.
"Studying fiddlesticks !" cried his neighbour; "what busi-
ness have you in my fields ?"
"I have examined all the plants on our side," answered
"Then go back and examine them again," cried Mr. Chan-
ticleer, putting himself in a great passion, and don't let me
see you here any more !"
"You need not be angry, sir," said Tom, "I have done no
"Angry, sir! what do you mean by angry ?" spluttered
out the other. "I'll teach you to tell me I'm angry!" and so
saying, he thrust Tom with all his force into the hedge.
Luckily there was a gap there, and Tom was able to get
through, and thus escape from any further insult. He heard
Chanticleer's voice shouting after him; Tom did not stay
to listen, but ran towards the wood as fast as his legs would
It so happened, that just before Tom reached home he met
Captain Bulldog, an old officer of the Guards, who had retired
on half-pay, with an extra pension for the loss of one of his
legs, which he had left on the field, and to him Tom recounted
all the circumstances of the assault. The Captain immediately
told Tom that he had but one course to pursue, which was, to
call Chanticleer out. Tom did not at first understand this
phrase; but, on its being explained to him, his knees knocked
together, and he begged the Captain to say nothing more of
the matter. But the Captain, who owed Chanticleer a grudge,
insisted that Tom should place himself entirely inP his haids,
took the poor youth to his own house, and did not let him rest
till Tom had fairly indited a challenge. This the Captain had
the great satisfaction of delivering personally to Mr. Chanti-
cleer, who turned very red in the face on reading it, and made
some little attempts at an apology. These the Captain would
not listen to, saying, the insult was too great for apologies;
and Chanticleer was at last obliged to refer him to his friend,
Sir Wiley Reynard, of Underwood, to arrange a meeting.
Poor Tom! I think I see him now, as he came with his
long face to tell me of the scrape he had got into.
"I would stay at home," said the unfortunate youth, with
tears in his eyes, "but that I am afraid of offending Captain
Bulldog, who will, perhaps, challenge me himself, if I don't
fight Chanticleer; and of the two enemies," added Tom, forcing
a faint smile, "you know which I should prefer."
Afterwards, Tom told me where the meeting was to be;
and as I thought my young neighbour might want a friend, I
determined to be near at hand.
It was about six o'clock on a cold, grey, autumn morning,
that I concealed myself in a thicket by the side of Goose Com-
mon, and waited the arrival of the combatants. Captain Bull-
dog, with young Leverett by his side, were first on the field,
and I could see that poor Tom shook in every limb. They
did not wait long. A post-chaise soon came clattering
along the road, and out of it jumped Sir Wiley Reynard, Doc-
tor Crane, and Mr. Chanticleer. Sir Wiley and the Captain
soon arranged the preliminaries, and Chanticleer walked boldly
and jauntily to his post. Not so my friend. Poor Tom, faint-
hearted at all times, was now terrified to such a degree, that
the Captain had absolutely to support him, or he would cer-
tainly have dropped. Presently, Sir Wiley gave the signal to
fire; Tom complied at once, and sent his bullet flying some-
where above my head, about as wide of the mark as it well
could be; and then, without waiting for the compliment of a
return, off he started as fast as ever his legs carried him in his
life, cleared the hedge at a bound, and ran straight into a thick
wood. I nearly died with laughter, not only to see Tom run,
but to behold the terrible look of the Captain, as he gazed
after his flying friend; to watch the surprised and somewhat
pleased look of Chanticleer, who seemed half inclined to fire
after the fugitive; and to see the puzzled expression of Sir
Wiley's face, and the comical grin on Dr. Crane's, as he tapped
his box and offered the Baronet a pinch. After a few moments
of silence, no one knowing what to do in such an unusual
dilemma, the Captain walked up to Sir Wiley, and offered, if
the Baronet were not satisfied, to fight either Mr. Chanticleer or
the Baronet himself, whichever was preferred. But Sir Wiley
replied very politely that he was perfectly satisfied with Captain
Bulldog, and that he only regretted that the Captain should
act for such a coward as Mr. Thomas Leverett. On this
the Captain began abusing poor Tom so terribly, that I thought
it best to beat a retreat and see after my runaway friend.
When I arrived home I found him sitting in my little back-
parlour, just as I expected. He had covered his face with his
hands, and was crying bitterly. I comforted the poor fellow
as well as I could, and did not give him the least grounds for
suspecting that I had been a witness of his behaviour. In a
little time he became calmer, and then he told me that the
report of his own pistol had frightened him so much, that,
for his life, he could not help running away.
It was not many days after this that Tom came to me again,
evidently in great pain; and, from the broken sentences that
escaped him, I learned that as he and his brother Bob were
walking in the public road, Chanticleer had met them; and
after calling Tom by every abusive name he could think of, had
ended by thrashing him with a ridirig-whip, till the unfortunate
youth could scarcely stand. I thought this was carrying the
matter too far, so I walked home with him to speak to his-
father about it. The old gentleman was very much excited
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.MR. LEVERETT'S INTIN'RVIEW WITH SHARPE VULTURE, ESQ.
at Tom's account of the quarrel; he had not heard a word
about it till that day, and said that Chanticleer should pay
dearly for what he had done; and as for Tom's mother, .she
fainted away at first, and ended by urging her husband to
prosecute that rascal Chanticleer, even if it cost them their last
grain of food. She thought but little of what she was saying
then, but she remembered it afterwards.
On that very afternoon old Mr. Leverett and Bob took the
railway to Gloucester, and went at once to the 'celebrated
lawyer, Mr. Sharpe Vulture, of Billocost Row. Mr. Vulture,
who was just going home to dinner, and was both hungry and
savage, heard their story with great impatience, told them to
come again the next morning, and bade them good day. He
thus saved his dinner hot, and pocketed an extra fee for an
additional consultation. His client, little used to lawyers' plea-
santries, thought this behaviour very strange; but as he had
some relations close by the town, he resolved that he and Bob
would spend the night with them, and they told me they were
most hospitably entertained.
On the next morning the father and son again called on
the celebrated Mr. Sharpe Vulture, and this time with better
success, for that worthy recommended that Mr. Leverett should
first apply to a magistrate for a warrant against Mr. Chanti-
cleer; and, secondly, that Tom should commence an action
against him for the assault.
To both these courses old Leverett offered no opposition;
and on Bob's ,evidence Sir Simon Graveowl, a magistrate of
noted wisdom, granted a warrant against Chanticleer, which
Mr. Sharpe Vulture immediately gave to an active young police-
man to execute. Now, it happened to be market-day at
Gloucester, and as Mr. Chanticleer was a large consumer of
barley, he usually attended the Corn Exchange during certain
hours. This the policeman knew; so no sooner had he received
the warrant than he walked straight to Mr. Chanticleer as he
stood talking loudly to a large circle of friends and neighbours,
- old Mr. Drake, young Mr. Gosling, Mr. Peacock, Mr. Pid-
geon, Mr. Swann, and several others,-and forthwith arrested
him. Poor Mr. Chanticleer! how crest-fallen he looked! All
his crowing was stopped in a moment. He walked by the
policeman's side in silence, and looked as much like a culprit
as any thief that was ever found with the stolen goods in his
The policeman, thrown off his guard by Chanticleer's quiet-
ness, walked by his side without holding him, and of this my
neighbour was not slow to avail himself; for just as they had
passed a narrow street, he suddenly ran back, and, with a loud
noise, flew along the pavement as if twenty Sharpe Vultures
were pursuing him. The policeman was not slow to
follow; and when the unfortunate Chanticleer was stopped
by a sentinel at the gate of the barracks, he seized his
prisoner with such violence by his red neck-tie, that he
almost strangled him there and then.
Old Leverett chuckled to himself, and was greatly delighted
to see Chanticleer brought into the magistrate's room by two
policemen, one holding him tightly by each arm. Mr. Sharpe
Vulture immediately brought forward the accusation against
the prisoner. Bob's evidence was taken: it was declared that
Tom was too unwell from the effects of the assault to attend
in person, and Mr. Chanticleer was fined five pounds For
this amount he immediately wrote an order on his bankers,-
Brier, Primrose, and Whitethorn; and then, greatly to old
Leverett's chagrin, the prisoner was discharged, and all parties
left the court.
Mr. Sharpe Vulture advised instant proceedings at law.
Accordingly, an action was brought for damages; but through
some little informality, the plaintiff was defeated, and had to
pay his own and Mr. Chanticleer's lawyers' costs. Mr. Sharpe
Vulture advised a second action, which was tried, I remember,
at the Assizes just twelve months after the assault complained
of. Counsel were engaged on each side. Mr. Badger was for
Chanticleer, and the Hon. Mr. Muff for the Leveretts. Badger
had Captain Bulldog put into the witness-box, and the whole
story of the duel was told in court, making even the learned
judge roar with laughter. Badger proved, beyond a doubt,
that Tom had well deserved castigation for his cowardice, and
that Mr. Chanticleer had only laid his whip lightly across his
shoulders; that Bob, as one of the family, was not to be
believed; and that the defendant bore the highest character for
gentleness of disposition. The Hon. Mr. Muff proved nothing,
but that he richly deserved his name, and the jury returned a
verdict for the plaintiff, damages one farthing.
Poor old Leverett! this trial completely ruined him. Sharpe
Vulture seized all his property, and the once happy little family
were sent adrift on the wide world without a home.
The last time I heard of them, the mother and the two sons
were living in an humble way not far from the sea-side; the
father was dead; Tom still continued his favourite study, but
he always took great care not to trespass in other people's
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THE DE M-OUSA S.
THE DE. MOUSAS.
IN one of those charming Italian villas lately built at
Bayswater, live Mr. Persian and Lady Angora De Mousa,
personages of much consequence in the society to which they
belong. Late hours, and a somewhat gay life, have a little
impaired Lady Angora's beauty; but she still attracts great
admiration, and her husband is as proud of her as ever.
A highly respectable couple, but of plainer pretensions
than the De Mousas, reside in Cypress Cottage, a small house
in the adjacent Gravel-pits,-Mr. Thomas and Mrs, Tabitha
Tortoshell, with a family of one son and two daughters. Mr.
De Mousa is of foreign extraction, but Mr. Tortoshell claims
him as a cousin by his mother's side, and is not a little prouA
of the relationship.
The De Mousas are in very easy circumstances, and indulge
in many expensive luxuries, having Devonshire clotted cream
every morning at breakfast, and a fricassee of some small
deer, that they appear to be very fond of, for their supper.
MR. PORCUPINE'S STUDIO.
__ C-- --?
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MANY years ago there lived a celebrated artist who
became very famous for his portraits of the great meh of the
day. His name was Porcupine. It is recorded, that noble-
men of the highest rank used to visit his studio, take luncheon
with him, and honour him with their criticism.
In his earlier time he was much patronised by two of the
great nobility, both members of the Dilettante Society, who
did much to bring the young artist into notice-these were
the great Lord Forestking and the well-remembered Sir Hyde
Jungle. His Lordship's patronage had, in the first instance,
been solicited for Mr. Porcupine by an eccentric individual, a
Mr. Munkey, a hanger-on of the aristocracy, who aped their
manners, but who had little of his own. He had met with
Porcupine in the country, had expressed great admiration at
his peculiar talent, and promised, if he would visit London,
to introduce him to the very first society. Mr. Porcupine,
innocently believing him, left his country hedgerows, and
took a garret in a back-street in London. It was here that
Lord Forestking first visited him, and gave him the com-
mission to paint his portrait.
Porcupine generally had an old friend with him, whom
he had long known in the country, who had come to see
the town, and who lodged in the same house. His name
When Porcupine had made some advancement in the
portrait, Lord Forestking and his friend, Sir Hyde, came one
day to inspect it, attended by the ever meddling Mr. Munkey.
His Lordship seated himself in a chair opposite the picture,
and expressed himself very much satisfied with the likeness,
declaring, that he never before knew that he was so handsome
"The portrait is-ah-very well, and the painting is-
ah-adnirable," said Sir Hyde; "but do not you think-
ah-that the nose is a leetle too long? and are you sure,"
addressing Porcupine, that the left eye is not-ah-slightly
"I have not remarked it," returned Mr. Porcupine,
"The colouring is excellent; but-ah-'pon my honour,
I never saw his Lordship wear a coat of that tint; and do
not you think the hair is rather darker than his Lord-
"'Perhaps," suggested Mr. Porcupine, "you would see it
better in another light;" and he immediately moved the
"Do you know," said Mr. Munkey to Mr. Dobbin-they
were at the other end of the room-" Sir Hyde Jungle is
esteemed one of our finest critics in the arts ? He has visited
most of the great Continental galleries, and can tell you the
dimensions of every celebrated picture, and the exact spot
on which it is hung."
"How can one individual be the possessor of so much
learning!" said Dobbin. "I cannot even remember the di-
mensions of the common in my native village, though I have
been round it often and often."
"Oh! Sir Hyde is, as you remark, a possessor of great
learning. He studies anatomy too, and is very fond of
dissecting all kinds of animals. I am told that no professor
at St. Bartholomew's can do it more rapidly."
"What a wonderful individual!"
"Ah! now that I see it better," said the Baronet, I
think the hair as near right as it can be; but-ah-you have
given his Lordship two-ah-curls on the left temple, which
I do not think his Lordship ever has."
"Would your Lordship wish to have them taken out?"
"'Pon honour, Sir Hyde," said his Lordship, "I really
44 THE PORTRAIT-PAINTER.
think the portrait is a very good one; and I like those two
curls so much, that I'll make my barber give them to me
"I perfectly agree with your Lordship," replied the con-
noisseur; and if Mr. Porcupine will but attend to the sug-
gestions I have thrown out, this picture will make his for-
tune;" and the learned critic began to put on his gloves and
seek his hat.
The Lord and the Baronet wished the artist good morning,
and, with their attendant, departed.
Poor Porcupine threw himself into his chair, and gazed
wistfully at the picture. His first thought was to thrust his
foot through the canvass, but the word suggestions" and
"make his fortune" rang in his ears, and he burst into a long
He is very learned, that Sir Hyde Jungle," observed his
friend, Mr. Dobbin, at the conclusion of the laugh.
"A very learned man," said Porcupine.
"And did he not promise to make your fortune?"
"He did," replied the artist; "and if he can he may."
The next time Sir Hyde saw the portrait, he thought the
nose and the eyes were quite right-the tone of colour on
the coat admirable-and the hair marvellously exact. The
day after, Lady Jungle and several friends came to see the
picture, and one gave Mr. Porcupine a commission for a
THE PORTRAIT-PAINTER. 45
portrait of her darling Wilhelmina. A rush of orders fol-
lowed, and the great Sir Hyde Jungle did what the artist
never believed, he kept his promise, and, by his wonderful
talk, made Mr. Porcupine's fortune.
THE STUFFED ANIMALS IN THE EXHIBITION.
A STORY. BY POLICEMAN X X.
ONE night as I was a-going my rounds, seeing that all
things were right, I felt so tired and drowsy that I could
hardly keep awake; so, when I came to the Stuffed Animals,
I lay down on the bench there to rest myself. I have heard
of many marvellous things, but nothing that ever I knew of
equals the story I am going to tell you.
I had not been lying on the bench five minutes-not more
than ten minutes certainly-when I heard a confused noise
as if a crowd of visitors had been let into the building. You
may be sure I was astonished, but fancying there might be
something in the wind, I kept still and breathed very softly.'
Presently a large party came into the passage where the
Stuffed Animals were, and you may imagine how I did stare-
sure enough they were a lot of the beasts from the Zoological
Gardens. But the most curious thing was, that many of
them were dressed just like Christians. First came the big
Elephant, putting me in mind, for all the world, of Mr. Trunk,
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THE STUFFED ANIMALS IN THE GREAT EXHIBITION. 47
the great City merchant; then the Hippopotamus, with a fez
cap on exactly like the Abyssinian prince, Ippo, that was
in the Exhibition a few days before; then a Kangaroo, with a
smart bonnet and shawl, in the same style as Mrs. Jumper's;
then a Wild Boar, looking like a country lout in a smock-
frock; then a Beaver, no better dressed than one of our
navvies, and who stamped on the Cat's toes, and made her
squeak out so shrilly, that she made my ears tingle; then
came a Parroquet, dressed like a dandy, and with him were
two fashionable birds, Miss Cockatoo and Miss Snowy Owl;
then followed an old Crocodile, looking like one of those
withered Indian nurses, and in her arms she carried a young
Frog that might have been an Indian baby. Besides these,
there was a young Monkey, exactly like my brother's boy,
Jack; a Mouse, dressed in the last-fashioned palet6t; and
a little thing that for a long time I could make nothing of,
but I fancy they call her a Duck-billed Platypus.
To have heard the remarks these animals made on their
stuffed fellow-creatures would have made me die of laughter,
but that I felt rather frightened and uncomfortable at my
position so near them. The young Indian clapped his hands
when he saw the two Frogs a-shaving, and the Snowy Owl
flew up to see if the Great Horned Owl above her was really
stuffed or not. The Cat seemed very much inclined to jump
at the young Partridges; and the Mouse, dapper as he was,
48 THE STUFFED ANIMALS IN THE GREAT EXHIBITION.
shrank back with fear when he caught sight of the Martins
At length Dent's clock struck four. The noise seemed
to frighten them away; for, when I jumped up, and rubbed
my eyes, they were all gone, nor could I make out by which
door they left.
When I reported all this to my inspector, the only rewards
I got were, to be told I had been dreaming, and to have my
night's allowance of porter stopped for a fortnight.
**' **" "**
c, a u ~
LORD FALCON AND HIS LONDON GUESTS.
ALDERMAN GOBBLE'S AMBITION.
NOT many years since, Mr. Alderman Gobble was a
famous member of the Corporation of the City of London.
No one was more esteemed at the great Guildhall feasts than
he was. No one, at Christmas time, was more constant at
the Mansion-House dinners, where he was invariably placed
at the head of the table, close by the Lord Mayor.
Mr. Gobble was born in Norfolk, at one of those fine
old-fashioned farm-houses so frequently met with in that
county, and was often heard to tell the tale of his first coming
to London, on a bitterly cold day, when the whole country
was covered with snow, on the top of the "Telegraph"
coach. It was Christmas-Eve, in the year 1815, and the
roof was crowded with such piles of turkeys, geese, hares,
and pheasants, that he always said he had preserved an
affection for them throughout his life.
ALDERMAN GOBBLE S AMBITION.
Some few years after his arrival in London, Mr. Gobble
became a member of the Worshipful Company of Poulterers,
and shortly afterwards he was elected Common-councilman by
a great majority of the voters, who, to show their approbation
of his excellence, invited him to a handsome dinner at Poul-
terers' Hall. In due time, the Common-councilman became an
Alderman; and it was at a grand ball given on the occasion,
that he fell in love with Miss Owlet, the daughter of a
magistrate very celebrated for his wisdom. The wedding
was attended by all the great City people; and after this union
Mr. Gobble had the satisfaction of becoming the most popular
member of the Corporation, and was more frequently than
ever seen at the Corporation dinners.
But the Alderman's ambition did not rest satisfied with
municipal honours. He read the debates in the House of
Commons, until he thought he could speak as well as most
of them, and aspired to become a member of Parliament.
In this laudable desire, he was greatly abetted by his beloved
spouse, who was deeply impressed with the conviction that he
would be one of the most eloquent members of the House.
It happened that, about this time, the borough of Wood-
side became vacant. Mr. Rabbetson, the member, while
on a visit to Earl Falcon, the owner of half the village of
Woodside, was accidentally killed by his Lordship while they
were out together for a day's sport.