THE JINGLE BOOK
A TUTOR who tooted the flute
Tried to teach two young tooters to toot.
Said the two to the tutor,
Is it harder to toot, or
To tutor two tooters to toot?"
THE JINGLE BOOK
& CO., LTD.
All rights reserved
BY THE MACMILLAN COMPANY.
Set up and electrotyped October, 1899. Reprinted November,
J. S. Cushing & Co. Berwick & Smith
Norwood Mass. U.S.A.
Co biilda's Cbild
THE TUTOR .Frontispiece
A SERIOUS QUESTION .. I
Two OLD KINGS .. 2
A DAY DREAM 5
OUR CLUB 7
AN INTERCEPTED VALENTINE II
A LONG-FELT WANT .. 13
THE MUSICAL CARP 14
THE INTELLIGENT HEN 15
THE HAPPY HYENA 17
A GREAT LADY I
OPULENT OLLIE 20
THE TWO BEARS 21
THE MACARONI MAN 24
THE 4.04 TRAIN 29
A VALUABLE GIFT. 30
THE GRANDILOQUENT GOAT 32
HOW THE CAT WAS BELLED .33
TRIANGULAR TOMMY 40
A MODERN INVENTION. 45
AN APRIL JOKE 46
AN ALICE ALPHABET. 48
THE FUNNY KITTENS 57
THE STRIKE OF THE FIREWORKS .60
THE ARCH ARMADILLO 63
A DREAM LESSON. 64
THE RIVALS 68
THE NEW Cup 70
THE NEW CUP.. 7........0
A PHOTOGRAPHIC FAILURE. 71
CHRISTMAS GIFTS .... .73
YOUNG AMERICA 74
A BICYCLE BUILT FOR TWO .. 75
DOROTHY'S OPINION 77
ROLY POLY ROY .79
MY BAROMETER 85
THE BUTTER BETTY BOUGHT .. .86
A MARVEL .. .87
AN ALPHABET Zoo 88
FOUND WANTING 94
A TRAGIC TALE OF TEA 96
STHE ERRATIC RAT 97
THE TWO FRIENDS 99
THE SMILING SHARK 102
THE MERCURY'S PLAINT 103
THE PIRATE POODLE 105
AN OLD LOVE 107
BOBBY'S POCKET I09
THE INSTRUCTIPHONE 112
THE LAY OF THE LADY LORRAINE 115
P 3eriou5 quesaiop
A KITTEN went a-walking
One morning in July,
And idly fell a-talking
With a great big butterfly.
The kitten's tone was airy, :
The butterfly would scoff;
When there came along a.fairy
Who whisked his wings right
And then -for it is written
Fairies can do such things -
Upon the startled kitten
She stuck the yellow wings.
) The kitten felt a
She rose into
Then flew down
to the river
..With fear her heart was
And she began to cry,
"Am I a butter-kitten?
Or just a kitten-fly ?"
?5wo Old KMjg
OH the King of Kanoodledum
And the King of Kanoodledee,
They went to sea
In a jigamaree-
A full-rigged jigamaree.
And one king couldn't steer,
And the other, no more could he;
So they both upset
And they both got wet,
As wet as wet could be.
S -- -
And one king couldn't swim
And the other, he couldn't, too;
So they had to float,
While their empty boat
Danced away o'er the sea so blue.
Then the King of Kanoodledum
He turned a trifle pale,
And so did he
But they saw a passing sail!
And one king screamed like fun
And the other king screeched like mad,
And a boat was lowered
And took them aboard;
And, my! but those kings were glad!
p Day Drqam
POLLY'S patchwork- oh, dear me! -
Truly is a sight to see.
Rumpled, crumpled, soiled, and frayed-
Will the quilt be ever made?
See the stitches yawning wide-
Can it be that Polly tried?
Some are right and some are wrong,
Some too short and some too long,
Some too loose and some too tight;
Grimy smudges on the white,
And a tiny spot of red,
Where poor Polly's finger bled.
Strange such pretty, dainty blocks-
Bits of Polly's summer frocks--
Should have proved so hard to sew,
And the cause of so much woe!
One day it was very hot,
And the thread got in a knot,
Drew the seam up in a heap -
Polly calmly fell asleep.
Then she had a lovely dream;
Straight and even was the seam,
Pure and spotless was the white;
All the blocks were finished quite--
Each joined to another one.
Lo, behold! the quilt was done,-
Lined and quilted, -and it seemed
To cover Polly as she dreamed!
WE'RE going to have the mostest fun!
It's going to be a club;
And no one can belong to it
But Dot and me and Bub.
We thought we'd have a Reading Club,
But couldn't 'cause, you see,
Not one of us knows how to read--
Not Dot nor Bub nor me.
And then we said a Sewing Club,
But thought we'd better not;
'Cause none of us knows how to sew -
Not me nor Bub nor Dot.
And so it's just a Playing Club,
We play till time for tea;
And, oh, we have the bestest times!
Just Dot and Bub and me.
THERE lived in ancient Scribbletown a wise old writer-
Whose name was Homer Cicero Demosthenes McCann.
He'd written treatises and themes till, "For a change,"
"I think I'll write a children's book before I go to
He pulled down all his musty tomes in Latin and in
Consulted cyclopedias and manuscripts antique,
Essays in Anthropology, studies in counterpoise-
"For these," he said, "are useful lore for little girls
He scribbled hard, and scribbled fast, he burned the
And when he reached "The End" he felt rewarded
for his toil;
He said, "This charming Children's Book is greatly to
And now he's sorely puzzled that no child has ever
p? Itereepted Valeptire
LITTLE Bo-Peep, will you be mine?
I want you for my Valentine.
You are my choice of all the girls,
With your blushing cheeks and your fluttering curls,
With your ribbons gay and your kirtle neat,
None other is so fair and sweet.
[ II ]
Little Bo-Peep, let's run away,
And marry each other on Midsummer Day;
And ever to you I'll be fond and true,
Your faithful Valentine,
LITTLE BOY BLUE.
f Co q-Felt U/apt
NE day wee Willie and his dog
f Sprawled on the nursery floor.
He had a florist's catalogue,
And turned the pages o'er,
) Till all at once he gave a spring,
"Hurrah!" he cried with joy;
S. Mamma, here's just the very thing
To give your little boy!
"For when we fellows go to school,
We lose our things, you know;
And in that little vestibule
They do get mixed up so.
S" And as you often say you
Take care of 'em for
Why don't you buy
.- ~a rubber plant,
And an um-
2tbrella tree ? "
[ I3 ]
?i5e musical Qarp
THERE once was a corpulent carp
Who wanted to play on a .harp,
But to his chagrin
So short was his fin
That he couldn't reach up to C sharp.
[ 14 ]
E5e Irtelliqept pjeg
'TWAS long ago, a year or so, -
In a barnyard by the sea, i..
That an old hen lived whom
you may know
By the name of -
She scratched around in
the sand all day,
For a lively old hen _
And then do you know, it happened this way
In that barnyard by the sea;
A great wise owl came down one day,
And hooted at Fiddle-de-dee,
Just hooted at Fiddle-de-dee.
And he cried, "Hi! Hi! old hen, I say!
You're provincial, it seems to me !
"Why, what do you mean?" cried the old red hen,
As mad as hops was she.
"Oh, I've been 'round among great men,
In the world where the great men be.
And none of them scratch with their claws like you,
They write with a quill like me."
[ 15 ]
Now very few people could get ahead
Of that old hen, Fiddle-de-dee.
She went and hunted the posy-bed,
And returned in triumphant glee.
And ever since then, that little red hen,
She writes with a jonquil pen, quil pen,
She writes with a jonquil pen.
[ i6 ]
TDe Jappy Pyea
THERE once was a happy Hyena
Who played on an old concertina.
He dressed very well,
And in his lapel
He carelessly stuck a verbena.
p (reat lady
THIS is the Queen of Nonsense Land,
She wears her bonnet on her hand;
She carpets her ceilings and frescos her floors,
She eats on her windows and sleeps on her doors.
Oh, ho! Oh, ho! to think there could be
A lady so silly-down-dilly as she!
She goes for a walk on an ocean wave,
She fishes for cats in a coral cave;
[ 18 ]
She drinks from an empty glass of milk,
And lines her potato trees with silk.
I'm sure that forever and never was seen
So foolish a thing as the Nonsense Queen!
She ordered a wig for a blue bottle fly,
And she wrote a note to a pumpkin pie;
She makes all the oysters wear emerald rings,
And does dozens of other nonsensible things.
Oh! the scatterbrained, shatterbrained lady so grand,
Her Royal Skyhighness of Nonsense Land!
[ I9 ]
ONE Saturday opulent Ollie
Thought he'd go for a ride on the trolley;
But his pennies were few,-
He only had two, -
So he went and made mud-pies with Polly.
[ 20 ]
6Ie 6wo IeaF$
PRINCE CURLILOCKS remarked one day
To Princess Dimplecheek,
"I haven't had a real good play
For more than 'most a week."
Said Princess Dimplecheek, "My dear,
Your majesty forgets -
This morning we played grenadier
With grandpa's epaulets.
"And yesterday we sailed to Spain--
We both were pirates bold,
And braved the wild and raging main
To seek for hidden gold."
"True," said the prince; "I mind me well-
Right hardily we fought,
And stormed a massive citadel
To gain the prize we sought.
"But if your ladyship agrees,
Methinks we'll go upstairs
And build a waste of arctic seas,
And we'll be polar bears."
[ 21 ]
"Yes, if you'll promise not to bite,"
Fair Dimplecheek replied,
Already half-way up the flight,
His highness by her side.
"Princess, on that far window-seat,
Go, sit thee down and wait,
While I ask nursie for a sheet,
Or maybe six or eight."
A pile of sheets his highness brought.
"Dear princess, pray take these;
Although our path with danger's fraught,
We'll reach the polar seas."
Two furry rugs his lordship bore,
Two pairs of mittens white;
He threw them on the nursery floor
And shouted with delight.
He spread those sheets-the funny boy-
O'er table, floor, and chair.
"Princess," said he, "don't you enjoy
This frosty, bracing air?
"These snowy sheets are fields of ice,
This is an iceberg grim."
"Yes, dear, I think it's very nice,"
She said, and smiled at him.
And then they donned the rugs of fur,
The mittens, too, they wore;
And Curlilocks remarked to her,
"Now you must roar and roar."
Dimplecheek looked out from the cowl
Formed by her furry rug.
"I'm 'fraid of bears that only growl-
I like the kind that hug."
Tle Very merry voyag of tte
THIS figure here before you is a Macaroni Man,
Who is built, as you may notice, on a most ingenious
His skeleton, I beg to state, is made of hairpins
Which are bent and curved and twisted to a marvellous
His coat-sleeves and his trouser-legs, his head and eke
Are made of superfine imported macaroni paste.
And if you care to listen, you may hear the thrilling
Of the merry Macaroni Man's extraordinary sail.
One sunny day he started for a voyage in his yacht,
His anxious mother called to him, and said, "You'd
Although the sun is shining bright, I fear that it may
And don't you think, my darling boy, you'd better take
the train ?"
"Oh, no," said he, "no clouds I see, -the sky is blue
I will return in time for tea-good-by, my mother
Full merrily he started off, the day was fine and fair,
And to his great delight he found no dampness in the
You know if he gets wet, a Macaroni Man is spoiled,
And if he stands too near the steam, of course he may
But our hero used precautions, carefully he shunned
And when the steam blew toward him, he just steered
the other way.
Now, as the breeze was from the land, his course lay
out to sea;
He sailed so far that he felt sure he would be late for
He sailed, and sailed, and sailed, and sailed, he
feared the dew would fall-
He tried to turn,-but oh,
that steam! it would not do
A single puff blew toward him, and it nearly cooked
The mournful Macaroni Man felt sadly out of place.
But a happy thought occurred to him, "Ha, ha,-ho,
ho! said he,-
"I'll just sail on around the world, -and then, it seems
I'll reach my home (according to a careful estimate)
In time for tea, although I'll be perhaps a trifle
~. ~c-_-=; .
Then merrily his gallant ship sped
Quickly he crossed the ocean wide,
Covered the Mediterranean, spanned
"I'll reach my home to-night," he
I'm sure I shall."
He skimmed the Red Sea like a
o'er the bounding
he flew by France
the Suez Canal, -
thought, "oh, yes,
bird, the Indian
(But once, in Oceanica, he feared that he was lost).
He passed Australia on the fly, cut over Capri-
And as the sunset gun he heard, he swung around Cape
Still at full speed, he sailed due north, he rounded
Cape St. Roque,
Crossed the equator, and found out the Gulf Stream
was no joke.
He coasted by the seaboard States. Hurrah! all danger
Quickly he sailed the last few miles and reached his
home at last;
His mother welcomed him, and said, "I'm glad there
was no shower;
But hurry in, my bonny boy, I've waited tea an hour."
51e 4.04 6raiq
"THERE'S a train at 4.04," said Miss Jenny;
"Four tickets I'll take. Have you any?"
Said the man at the door:
"Not four for 4.04,
For four for 4.04 is too many."
L 29 ]
p Valuable dift
OLD Father Time, one day
In his study, so they say,
Was indulging in a surreptitious nap,
When from his drowsy dreams
He was wakened, as it seems,
By a timid but persistent little rap.
He yawned and rubbed his eyes
In indolent surprise,
Then slowly he arose from where he sat;
He opened wide his door,
And nearly tumbled o'er
The figure that stood waiting on the mat.
A tiny little dog,
With excitement all agog,
And angry eyes that seemed to flash and glower.
His manner was polite,
But he said, I claim my right!
And I've called, sir, to demand of you my hour."
"Your what? the old man said,
As he shook his puzzled head;
And the pertinacious puppy spoke with force:
" Well, sir, they often say,
'Every dog must have his day,'
So a puppy ought to have an hour, of course!"
The old man shook with glee,
But he said obligingly,
"The dog days are all gone, I grieve to say;
But since you've .-
come so far, / i K
And so mannerly \
I'll give ,
you just an
[ 31 ]
Te GraQdilo' quet Goat
A VERY grandiloquent Goat
Sat down to a gay table d'h6te;
He ate all the corks,
The knives and the forks,
Remarking: "On these things I dote."
Then, before his repast he began,
While pausing the menu to scan,
He said: Corn, if you please,
And tomatoes and pease,
I'd like to have served in the can."
[ 32 ]
jPow ti Qat was RBIIpd
A FABLE told by La Fontaine,
Two centuries or more ago,
Describes some rats who would arraign
A cat, their direst foe,
Who killed so many rats
And caused the deepest woe,
This Catiline of cats.
The poor rats were at their wits' end
Their homes and families to. defend;
And as a last resort
They took the case to court.
It seems they called a caucus wise
Of rats of every age and size,
And then their dean,
With sapient mien,
A very Solon of a rat,
Said it was best to bell the cat.
The quaint old tale goes on to tell
How this plan would have worked quite well,
But, somehow, flaws
No one would hang the bell.
Though there the ancient fable ends,
Later report the tale extends,
No longer is the truth withheld;
And so you have it here.
For the first time
Set down in rhyme
Just how that cat was belled.
The council, as 'twas getting late,
Was just about to separate,
When suddenly a rat arose
Who said he could a plan propose
Which would, he thought, succeed
And meet their urgent need.
Now as this rat was very small, *
And had no dignity at all,
Although his plan was well advised,
We really need not be surprised
That all the rats of riper years
Expressed the gravest doubts and fears;
He said, said he,
"If you will leave it all to me,
I will avow
Three days from now
That you shall all be free."
The solemn council then adjourned.
Each rat to home and fireside turned;
But each shook his wise head
And to his neighbor said:
"It is a dangerous job, in truth,
Though it seems naught to headstrong youth."
Now young Sir Rat we next behold,
With manner brave and visage bold,
Go marching down
To London town,
Where wondrous things are sold.
We see him stop
At a large shop,
And with the bland clerk's courteous aid
This was the purchase that he made:
A bicycle of finest make,
With modern gear and patent brake,
Pedometer, pneumatic tire,
And spokes that looked like silver wire,
A lantern bright
To shine at night,
Enamel finish, nickel plate,
And all improvements up to date.
Said sly Sir Rat: "It suits me well,
Especially that sweet-toned bell."
The shades of night were falling fast
When Sir Rat turned toward home at last.
The neighbors watched him as he passed
And said: "What is that queer-shaped thing?
Surely that can't be made to ring."
Sir Rat went on, nor stayed
To hear the jests they made;
And just outside the old cat's gate
He stopped and boldly braved his fate,
[ 36 ]
For if that cat
Should smell a rat
How quickly he'd come out and catch him,
And with what gusto he'd despatch him!
Sir Rat, against the picket-fence
Leaned the machine, then hurried hence,
And hid himself with glee,
And waited breathlessly
To see what that
Would say, when in the twilight dim
He saw that brightly shining rim.
Sir Rat, though hidden quite,
And safely out of sight,
Had scarcely time to wink his eye,
When Mr. Cat came sauntering by.
"Ha! Ha! said he,
"What's this I see,
A bicycle! and just my size!
Well, this, indeed, is a surprise!
This treasure great;
How quickly I'll fly o'er the ground
When I pursue my hunting round!"
He mounted it with eager haste,
It suited well his sporting taste;
He guided it at will,
And used the brake with skill,
He grasped the handle-bars, and then-
You see it was his custom when
He did a thing, to do it well-
Of course he used the clear-toned bell!
Victory now! the deed is done!
No longer at the set of sun
The rats fly shrieking to their nests,
They saunter round with merry jests
And ne'er a thought of fear,
Knowing full well
They'll hear the bell
When Mr. Cat draws near.
And young Sir Rat who did the deed,
Whose cleverness relieved their need,
His wondrous enterprise
Was lauded to the skies.
And everywhere his name
Was hailed with shouts of fame.
In difficulties, oft we see
Modern improvements frequently
Will prove a happy remedy.
P yiymq of 6riaqgular 5ommy
TRIANGULAR TOMMY, one morning in May,
Went out for a walk on the public highway.
Just here I will say,
'Twas a bright sunny day,
And the sky it was blue, and the grass it
The same sky and grass that you've all of you seen;
And the birds in the trees sang their usual song,
And Triangular Tommy went trudging along.
But I can tell you
He cared naught for the view.
He did just what small boys of his age always do:
He shouted out "Scat!"
At a wandering cat,
And he picked a big daisy to stick in his hat;
The clovers he topped,
And the toadstools he cropped,
And sometimes he scuffled and sometimes he hopped.
He took an old stick and poked at a worm,
And merrily chuckled to see the thing squirm;
When he chanced to look up,
and in gorgeous array
Triangular Tilly was coming his
Triangular Tom straightened up
in a jiff,
And put on his best manner exceed-
And as far as his angular shape would
Triangular Tom made a beautiful bow.
Triangular Tilly went smilingly by,
With a glance that was friendly, but just a bit
And Tom so admired her that after she passed,
A backward look over his shoulder he cast.
And he said, "Though I think many girls are
I really admire that Triangular Tilly."
But soon all such thoughts were put out of his head,
For who should come by but Triangular Ted,
The very boy Tom had been wishing to see!
"Hello!" said Triangular Tommy, said he.
"Hello!" said Triangular Ted, and away
Those two children scooted to frolic and play.
And they had, on the green,
Where 'twas all dry and clean,
The best game of leap-frog that ever was seen,
Triangular Tom bent down this way, you know,
And Triangular Ted stood be-
side him, just so,
When one, two, three
With the greatest
Ted flew over Tom in a manner not slow.
They played hide-and-seek, they played marbles and tag,
They played they were soldiers,
and each waved a flag;
Till at last they confessed,
They wanted to rest;
So they sat down and chatted
with laughter and jest;
When Schoolmaster Jones they suddenly spied,
Come clumping along with his pedagogue stride,
As usual, with manner quite preoccupied;
With his hat on one side,
And his shoe-lace untied-
A surly old fellow, it can't be denied;
And each wicked boy
Thought that he would enjoy
An occasion the thoughtful old man to annoy,
And all of his wise calculations destroy.
So they thought they'd employ
A means known to each boy.
And across the wide pavement they fastened a twine
Exceedingly strong but exceedingly fine;
And Triangular Tommy laughed out in his glee,
To think how upset the old master would be!
Although very wicked, their mischievous scheme
Was a perfect success; and with a loud scream,
A horrible clash,
A thump and a smash,
Old Schoolmaster Jones came down
with a crash.
His hat rolled away, and his spectacles
And those dreadful boys thought it a howling good
And they just doubled up in immoderate glee,
SSaying, "Look at the Schoolmaster !
Tom gave a guffaw,
And Ted roared a "haw-
But soon their diversion was turned into awe,
For old Schoolmaster Jones was angry, they
Turned swiftly and fled,
And far down the street like a reindeer he sped,
Leaving Tommy to face the old gentleman's rage,
Who quickly jumped up, he was brisk
for his age, -
And with just indignation portrayed on
To Triangular Tommy he quickly gave
And hearing his squeals
And his frantic appeals,
Triangular Tommy fast took to his heels.
Now Tommy was agile and Tommy was spry;
He whizzed through the air-he just seemed
He rushed madly on, until, dreadful to
He came where the railroad was just in his
And alas! and alack!
He tripped on the track
And then with a terrible, sudden ker-thwack!
Triangular Tommy sprawled flat on his back--
And the train came along with a crash, and a crack,
A din, and a clatter, a clang, and a clack,
A toot, and a boom, and a roar, and a hiss,
And chopped him up all into pieces like this -
If you cut out papers just like them, A Ag. A, '
why, then, N "
If you try, you can put him together again.
P foder? Isve9tiog
OLD Santa Claus is up-to-date,
And hereafter, rumors say,
He'll come with his pack of glittering toys,
And visit the homes of girls and boys,
In a new reindeerless sleigh.
OH, it was a merry, gladsome day,
When the April Fool met the Queen of May;
She had roguish eyes and golden hair,
And they were a mischief-making pair.
They planned the funniest kind of a joke
On the poor, long-suffering mortal folk;
Pq Ppril Jok
And a few mysterious words he said,
His fool's cap close to her flower-crowned head.
Then he laughed till he made his cap-bells ring,
At the thought of the topsy-turvy Spring.
"'Tis a fair exchange," he said, with a wink-
"It is! she said, and what do you think?
The flowers that should bloom in the month of May
Every one of them came on an April day!
And they looked for April showers in vain,
But all through May it did nothing but rain!
fuq pfike plptabet
Sis for Alice a-dressing
99 the Queen.
B is for Borogoves, mimsy
C is the Cheshire
Cat, wearing a
C 48 ]
is the Duchess who had
a sharp chin.
E is the Eaglet who barred
out long words.
F the Flamingo, the queer-
est of birds.
[ 49 ]
G is the Gryphon,
loquacious and gay.
H Humt Dmpty Dumpty
9 in gorgeous array.
I is for Insects with
J is the Jabberwock
burbling with flame
Lis the Lobster who
ared his hair.
K is the King who was
whizzed through the
[ 5 1
MA the Mock Turtle,
1V1 whose tears freely
is for Oysters who
9 9 trotted so quick.
P is the Puppy
9 9 with a stick.
Q is the Queen who
ran very fast.
Ris the Rabbit who blew
a great blast.
[ 53 1
S is thSh Sheep, on her
T Tweedledum, with his
f noisy lament.
U is the Unicorn, valiant in
V is the Violet, saucy
W the Walrus,
S addicted to
X Executioner, seek-
ing the cat.
Y is the Youth Father Wil-
6 -" Fury said to
a mouse. That
he met in the
us both go
to law: I
take no deo
is the Zigzag the mouse's.
tail made. m,.
6ie Fugg~y Kittegs
ONCE there were some silly kittens,
And they knitted woolly mittens
To bestow upon the freezing Hottentots.
But the Hottentots refused them,
Saying that they never used them
Unless crocheted of red with yellow spots.
So the silly little kittens
Took their blue and white striped mittens
To a Bear who lived within a hollow tree;
[ 57 ]
The Bear responded sadly,
"I would wear your mittens gladly,
But I fear they are too gay for such as me."
Then the kittens, almost weeping,
Came to where a Cow lay sleeping,
And they woke her with this piteous request,
"Won't you wear our mittens furry?"
Said the Cow, "My dears, don't worry;
I will put them on as soon as I am dressed."
Then the Cow put on her bonnet
With a wreath of roses on it,
And a beautiful mantilla fringed with white;
And she donned the pretty mittens,
While the silly little kittens
Clapped their paws in admiration at the sight.
TD Strip of tu? Fireworks
'TWAS the night before the Fourth of July, the people
The fireworks were stored in the old town hall that
stood on the village green.
The steeple clock tolled the midnight hour, and at its
The fire in the queer old-fashioned stove lifted its voice
"The earth and air have naught to do, the water, too,
And only fire is made to work on Independence Day.
"I won't stand such injustice! It's wrong, beyond a
And I shall take my holiday. Good-by, I'm going out!"
Up spoke a Roman candle then, "The principle is
Suppose we strike, and all agree we will not work
"My stars! said a small sky-rocket. "What an awful
time there'll be,
When the whole town comes together to-night, the great
display to see "
"Let them come," said a saucy pinwheel, "yes, let
them come if they like,
As a delegate I'll announce to them that the fireworks
are going to strike!"
"My friends," said a small cap-pistol, "this movement
is all wrong, -
Gunpowder, noise, and fireworks to Fourth of July
My great ancestral musket made Independence Day,
I frown on your whole conspiracy, and you are wrong,
Jtnd so they talked and they argued, some for and
some against, -
And they progressed no further than they were when
Until in a burst of eloquence a queer little piece of
Arose in his place and said, "I think we ought to
show some spunk.
And I for one have decided, although I am no shirk,
That to-day is a legal holiday and not even fire should
"And I am of some importance," -here he gave a
"For without my assistance none of you could very
well be put off."
"You are right," said the Roman candle, "and I think
we are all agreed
[ 61 ]
To strike for our rights and our liberty. Hurrah! we
shall succeed !"
The dissenters cried with one accord, "Our objections
Hurrah, hurrah for the fireworks' strike!" and they
cried again, Hurrah! "
Then a match piped up with a tiny voice, "Your
splendid scheme I like.
I agree with all your principles and so I, too, will
Suiting the action to the word, the silly little dunce
Clambered down from his matchsafe and excitedly struck
He lost his head, and he ran around among the fire-
And he cried, "Hurrah for the fireworks' strike! Hur-
rah for the Fourth of July! "
With his waving flame he lit the punk- a firecracker
caught a spark, -
Then rockets and wheels and bombs went off -no
longer the place was dark!
The explosions made a fearful noise, the flames leaped
high and higher,
The village folk awoke and cried, "The town hall is on
So the strike of the fireworks ended in a wonderful
Of pyrotechnic grandeur on Independence Day!
F 62 ]
,De freI armadillo
THERE once was an arch Armadillo
Who built him a hut neathh a willow;
He hadn't a bed
So he rested his head
On a young Porcupine for a pillow.
p Drea/m T essorq
ONCE there was a little boy who wouldn't go to bed,
When they hinted at the subject he would only shake
When they asked him his intentions, he informed them
That he wouldn't go to bed at all, and Nursey needn't wait.
As their arguments grew stronger, and their attitude
I grieve to say that naughty boy just yelled and screamed
And he made up awful faces, and he told them up and
That he wouldn't go to -bed for all the nurses in the
Then Nursey lost her patience, and although it wasn't
Retorted that for all she cared he might sit up all
He approved of this arrangement, and he danced a jig
And turned a somersault with glee; he was a -naughty
And so they all went off to bed and left him sitting there,
Right in the corner by the fire in Grandpa's big arm-
He read his books and played his games, he even
sang a song
And thought how lovely it
would be to sit up all
But soon his games grew
stupid, and his puz-
zles wouldn't ,
He drew himself
up stiffly with
a sudden lit-
And he said, "I am I
not sleepy, and I
love to play alone- ~
And-I-think-" the rest was
mumbled in a drowsy monotone.
He leaned back on the cushions like that night he had
His head began to wobble and his eyes began to droop;
He closed them for a minute, just to see how it would
And straightway he was sound asleep, and dreamed this
He thought he saw a garden filled with flowers and
A great big gardener with a hoe came walking down
"Ah, ha!" exclaimed the gardener, as he clutched him
by the head,
"Here's a fine specimen I've found; I'll plant him in
this bed! "
He held the boy in one big hand, unheeding how he
And with the other dug a hole enormous, deep, and wide.
He jammed the little fellow in, and said in gruffest tone,
"This is the bed for naughty boys who won't go to
And then the dirt was shovelled in, it covered up his
His ankles, knees, and waist and arms, and higher yet
For still the gardener shovelled on, not noticing his cries;
It came up to his chin and mouth-it almost reached
Just then he gathered all his strength and gave an
And woke himself, and put an end to that terrific dream.
And he said, as Nursey tucked him up and bade him
"When I am planted in a bed, I like my own the
Two well-built men, neither giant nor dwarf,
Were Monsieur Elims and Mynheer Nworf.
They lived in a town not far away,
And spent their time in work and play.
Now Monsieur Elims was loved by all-
By rich and poor, by great and small.
And Mynheer Nworf remarked one day,
"Brother, explain to me, I pray,
[ 68 ]
Why no one likes me as well as you,
No matter what I may say or do.
I have stores of knowledge packed in my head;
I am learned and wise and very well read;
I can dance, I can sing, I'm extremely polite;
I am worth a large fortune all in my own right.
But still, and this question has caused me much
While I am neglected, you're everywhere sought."
Monsieur Elims replied: My dear sir, that is true,
But you see, I am I, and you see, you are you.
If I receive praises and you receive blame,
'Tis doubtless because each lives up to his name."
You'll find his defence rather puzzling, I fear;
But read their names backward the meaning is clear.
6e J'eue Kup
" I'VE a lovely new cup from Uncle John,"
Said .Dorothy; "only see -
It has beautiful golden letters on,
And they spell Remember Me.' "
"Oho!" laughed Fred. "Why, Dorothy dear,
They put that on mugs and plates:
I've studied jography 'most a year,
And I know the names of the States.
And when you see that anywhere, -
At least, since this fuss with Spain,-
It's the President who puts it there,
And it means 'Remember the Maine'! "
P pPlotograpik Failure
MR. HEZEKIAH HINKLE
Saw a patient Periwinkle
With a kodak, sitting idly by a rill.
Feeling a desire awaken -
For to have his picture taken, r
Mr. Hezekiah Hinkle stood stock-still.
Mr. Hezekiah Hinkle
Felt his brow begin to wrinkle,
And his pose assume a sad and solemn style;
But the Periwinkle trusted,
As the focus he adjusted,
That his customer would kindly try to smile.
Mr. Hezekiah Hinkle
Felt his eyes begin to twinkle,
And his mouth took on a broad and open grin;
Said the Periwinkle, sadly,
"If you stretch your jaw so madly,
I fear perhaps that I shall tumble in."
Mr. Hezekiah Hinkle
Felt his hair begin to crinkle,
As it rose up on his forehead in affright;
Though his comrade spoke so mildly,
Mr. Hinkle wondered wildly,
How he could escape this dire and awful plight.
Mr. Hezekiah Hinkle
Said, "I fear it's going to sprinkle,
And really for a storm I'm not prepared."
Then without a further warning
He politely said, "Good morning,"
And the patient Periwinkle stood and stared.
TEN Christmas presents standing in a line;
Robert took the bicycle, then there were nine.
Nine Christmas presents ranged in order straight;
Bob took the steam engine, then there were eight.
Eight Christmas presents and one came from Devon;
Robbie took the jackknife, then there were seven.
Seven Christmas presents direct from St. Nick's;
Bobby took the candy box, then there were six.
Six Christmas presents, one of them alive;
Rob took the puppy dog, then there were five.
Five Christmas presents yet on the floor;
Bobbin took the soldier cap, then there were four.
Four Christmas presents underneath the tree;
Bobbet took the writing desk, then there were three.
Three Christmas presents still in full view;
Robin took the checker board, then there were two.
Two Christmas presents, promising fun,
Bobbles took the picture book, then there was one.
One Christmas present and now the list is done;
Bobbinet took the sled, and then there were none.
And the same happy child received every toy,
So many nicknames had one little boy.
WEE Willie sat a-
And he shook his
Around him on the
His treasures lay ou
Firecrackers and torpedoes,
Trumpet and flag and drum,
Rockets and pinwheels and paper caps,
For Fourth of July had come.
"But it makes me sort o' sorry,"
Wee Willie said with a sigh,
"To think of those poor little English boys
Without any Fourth of July."
l Bieyelq built for 6uo
THERE was an ambitious young eel
Who determined to ride on a wheel;
But try as he might,
He couldn't ride right,
In spite of his ardor and zeal.
If he sat on the saddle to ride
His tail only pedalled one side;
And I'm sure you'll admit
That an eel couldn't sit
On a bicycle saddle astride.
Or if he hung over the top,
He could go, but he never could stop;
For of course it is clear
He had no way to steer,
And under the wheel he would flop.
His neighbor, observing the fun,
Said, "I think that the thing can be done,
If you'll listen to me,
You'll quickly agree
That two heads are better than one.
[ 75 ]
"And this is my project, old chap,
Around our two waists I will wrap
This beautiful belt
Of bottle-green felt
And fasten it firm with a strap."
This done, with a dignified mien
The two squirmed up on the machine,
And rode gayly away,
Or at least, so they say,
Who witnessed the wonderful scene.
[ 76 ]
MAMMA has bought a calendar,
And every single page
Has pictures on of little girls
'Most just about my age.
And when she bought it yesterday,
Down at the big bazaar,
She said, "What lovely little girls,
How true to life they are."
But I don't think they're true to life,
And I'll just tell you why;
They never have a rumpled frock
Or ribbon bow awry.
And though they play with cats and dogs,
And rabbits and white mice,
And sail their boats and fly their kites,
They always look so nice.
And I am sure no little girl
That ever I have seen,
Could play with dogs or sail a boat
And keep her frock so clean.
TDe Roll of Roly poly Roy
ONCE on a time a lad I knew -
His sister called him Bubby;
His cheeks were red, his eyes were -
And he was plump and chubby.
Indeed, he was so stout a boy,
Some called him Roly Poly Roy;
They called him that
For he was fat
And very plump and chubby.
He caused his father grief profound,
And made his mother worry,
Because he'd roll along the ground
When he was in a hurry.
For as he couldn't see his toes,
He often tumbled on his nose;
So, on the whole,
'Twas best to roll
When he was in a hurry.
"Get up!" the people urged, but he
Replied, "There's no use talking;
I roll around because, you see,
It's easier than walking."
And though it looked extremely droll
To see the lad lie down and roll,
It was, forsooth,
For that fat youth
Far easier than walking.
One day he thought he'd try to ride;
Alas, he was so bulky,
He tumbled off the other side,
Which made him rather sulky.
He heard his comrades jeer and scoff,
Again he tried and tumbled off,
And when he fell
They'd shout and yell-
Of course it made him sulky.
Just out of town there was a place
With rolling ground and hilly,
And here Roy started for a race
With Dick and Tom and Willy.
You'll know of course before you're told
That Roy just laid him down and rolled;
And so, you see,
Beat Dick and Tom and Willy.
That day two giants came along
From Huncamunca Valley,
Seeking some tenpins good and strong
For their new bowling alley.
They reached the hilly sort of place
Just as our hero won the race;
"Look at him roll!"
They said. "He'll bowl
On our new bowling alley.
"The other boys are squarely built;
For tenpins they'll do finely!
No matter if a few get kilt,"
And then they smiled benignly.
[ 81 ]
Quickly they kidnapped ten small boys,
All howling with a fearful noise;
They took them all,
And Roy for ball,
And then they smiled benignly.
They hurried to their home and then
Began their barbarous bowling.
They set in rows the children ten
And then set Roy a-rolling.
But as the giants were strong and great,
They shot poor Roy at such a rate,
And with such might,
That out of sight
Poor Roy was set a-rolling.
He rolled and rolled and rolled and rolled,
But soon, his fears dispelling,
With happiness he did behold
He'd safely reached his dwelling.
Secure and safe from further harms,
His mother caught him in her arms,
And said with joy,
My darling boy,
You've safely reached your dwelling."
Now rolling seems to him to be
More dangerous than walking.
And Roly Poly Roy you'll see
Along the sidewalks stalking.
He'll always have a certain fear
That giants may be lurking near,
And so he'll go
With motion slow
Along the sidewalk stalking.
MY little maid with golden hair
Comes each morning for a
And I know the day will be
fine and fair
When Polly looks like this.
Or I know the clouds will frown
SThe skies will be dull and
And perhaps there'll be a pass-
When Polly looks this way.
But a violent storm of rain or
I can prognosticate,
For the sign will never fail, I "
When this is Polly's pate.
TJe Butter Betty Bou t
BETTY BOTTA bought some butter;
"But," said she, "this butter's bitter!
If I put it in my batter
It will make my batter bitter.
But a bit o' better butter
Will but make my batter better."
Then she bought a bit o' butter
Better than the bitter butter,
Made her bitter batter better.
So 'twas better Betty Botta
Bought a bit o' better butter.
AN old astronomer there was
Who lived up in a tower,
Named Ptolemy Copernicus
He said: I can prognosticate
With estimates correct;
And when the skies I contemplate,
I know what to expect.
When dark'ning clouds obscure my sight,
I think perhaps 'twill rain;
And when the stars are shining bright,
I know 'tis clear again."
And then abstractedly he scanned
The heavens, hour by hour,
Old Ptolemy Copernicus
P() lptabet Zoo
A WAS an apt Alligator,
Who wanted to be a head-waiter;
He said, "I opine
In that field I could shine,
Because I am such a good skater."
B was a beggarly Bear,
Who carefully curled his front hair;
He said, "I would buy
A red-spotted tie, -
But I haven't a penny to spare."
C was a cool Chimpanzee,
Who went to an afternoon tea.
When they said, "Will you take
A caraway cake ?"
He greedily took twenty-three!
D was a diligent Doe,
In summer she shovelled the snow;
In the spring and the fall
She did nothing at all,
And in winter the grass she would mow.