-Ir,.,_ A, 258
YOUR PRE-SCHOOL CHILD
University of Florida
AC-P;:ULTURAL EXTENSION SERVICE
YOUR PRE-SCHOOL CHILD
This is the third in a series of circulars on the Family Life
Cycle. Other circulars are:
Call Us Mr and Mr'.
Now We Are Three
Your Child Starts to School
Your Adolescents in Your Family
Your MiddilEI Years
Your Retirement Years
V'-.'! I I X .! 1 l CY( 1. i.,
Your Pre- School Child
YOU HAVE I I'\,i l'
Your child has passed the
!II. days and is : . ., a real
child. i'; to this time have
learned 11 about . ,
SHe is not as .* as
S '. You '. have t
be I,' : I to e a .
ent. For ,.1 and
to en>., each other is more
important than methods ad
I rl' ,, i I use.
* He is .;,1,- to . and at
his own rate in .1
111, l1 I** at his own
rate and is not to be corn
pared with other ethe ver
* He -., his such i
lit. I ..v !'i.,:. p .. I these habits
them is part -; , 's growth
he'll i,. 1-; !' and out bad habits a
'. ilji r-1 No amount
* He has I.-l, -r .
Tears and smiles
to use his .II.' ...
In addition to these ';Ii you've learned
the answers. Join the crowd ir,1 knows
are no rules written to cover :
to study and learn about the basic
but I' want
and i' ..-l',nrl.riii .:.!, .I show that . best when
they are with adults who are at ease.
, \ '" \ -"
\ "', ._- '
Principles for Child Guidaiwe
As a result of extensive and intensive research, it has been
concluded that these are four basic principles for the wise ,;,i-
ance of children. I I." are summarized in the f" 11. ;I.. dia-
gram which is read irini the base upward:
HELP stimulates ABILITIES
RESPECT encourages SELF-PESPF'CT
S LOVE gives SECURITY
Love.-The foundation of wise ... ;1.., is the happy parent-
lll.1 ,ir,,t1.111-iiI built on love- love so sound and l :.,:,, that
it cannot be disturbed 1i ai,: 11.,ii the child does. Good or
,l.,,_'it, 1.,i1 i-I or manly, the child knows he can count on
the parent's love. I'lI- r',lin1;- I unconditional love contributes
to the child's I'."-liiie of security. A sense of security is basic
to a 'l, !'s .i ."-. If and development.
it.-pvct.-The second pII iill~. i 1 is based on the Love-?.' 1i it
r.l-1:,lin,.ii,' The parent's 1.- .... I for the !ii, contributes to
the child's f'---I ,I'-v of self-r. -in, f Respect means ...... i.;ii:, the
child as he is, not as you would like him to be or need him to be.
When a child knows that his I.s !in, his abilities and .i his
capacities are !.-p 1 -.1 then he ,i .... in -'. I.' in -. i-
.ritii ii and in his sense of adequacy. He is 1. '. .;,. a good
self- II .i' t
Help.--TI.- principle of guidance rests on the r.,, .i.i ;,i..
of love and r,-- i'.. 1. and relates to the parent's -, It l to teach,
train and ii 1 the .. 't to i,,;,. the child in be-
,I,.iI. the person he is capable ,,' becoming. .;?I,.,1.1 1 lI,
is the kind that -i 1 i, ;i ti the child's own efforts and knowl-
..L-. i. ,i...I.,, 1. "..... for him those 'hi,.'.;- i, can saf--1 do for
.\lAiroval.- I approval i the 'ill's t!,.'- and ac-
S promotes a healthy system of values. I I is
based on the child's own I .l..: his accomplishments.
*., I is a real incentive i ...n' i..I ; -I I. . \ nen
approval .. '. and accomplishments is shown, the child
learns what his ,, uI consider to be worthy. This i... n, .--
the child to i.ii I a set = worthy standards I.,, .i" 1 :ifi, the
parent's own values.
Growing I ,>,.il Uii,.pdi, n.,
A ,,;.. '-" recently said, I oniy thing a parent .....I
expect :.,ii his I is to grow .., not to need him! This is
just another way of I .. the apron st, -
should, need to and .'.T. zT be cut.
You have ".. ,' i many signs that
your. I: i' -,' I to become e : ,I, ... ,I ,.
He's i -. 1 trying to . .' him-
-.11 In these pre-school years the list will
grow OU..!I.. ou I' add these -;'ti,-. of
in.', I" r .... to the list!
Not i;, take a I ;. in the I'-
ernoon. '.vybe he does not N'I-.. I)
the -!, .- Let him rest quietly in the
bed with a nice ..'e book.
Not 'I 1 i. milk or eating a certain
vegetable. I *'t make an issue of it.
See that he gets his milk 1;.1 i... pud-
i.- soups and cheese 1.i awhile.
See that he gets his vitamins and min-
erals flii,...l,. other vegetables.
Wanting to feed himself. %I ik. this
I... -1.il, by 1.. iri-.., child-size equip- .
ment. He I1.I' -.I ,.'r if you try
to ' him. 1 ; i, iV 1, i, when he's tired or not feel-
anud ', i
S ) buttons, ',.*,.
and wide sleeves and
him ,' ..: I .: time for
,.. .' i with this by hav-
whenever i .. ;ii, l.rI. armholes
SI;- necks on --,i '-i r-. Allow
., -, and undressing.
S.. no, no." This is a r I. : his i.til. his independ-
ence. ,. 1 ,-. !. this stage. TI.-. are not
just stubborn. to minimize the no's." Stay away
ions. .. rather than say, "Do vnii
want to to bed?" , h be sure to get a 'no'), -.,., "It
is time to go to bed." : i are people : action, so when
*sayo is time to .. to bed," start toward the bed.
T this is a co:on incn yours.
*oi're i most i * this is a concern **' yours.
' ,, years, there have been
j', j' Stop
now i ..... that!
L.e1ve that alone!
COMPLETE t I II--'' I -. 'NO LIPIII t
that alone! here!
I lil. 1 1 '1. 1,.i-1 .. teachers, and psychotherapists have
found that permissiveness with limits, rather than unrestricted
permissiveness is pIL fvriu.d. as well as ntilvii by children."
WHAT IS DISCIPLINE?
D i.s..'iilin is
JTI, ipi.i your child become a happy ii .I! L'. expressive,
t 'il; i.l. your child to understand his personality to see
whether he needs patience and ":.,' .i," 'i or I'I1 -
ness and steadfastness.
TT, !,in your child n' .'I "' ... 4. iii, and learn
.ii ...,i 1.t.I- w ays of : .- -- ii t:- these '6. ';irI, -
U. -ibL' the rI.- i...i of inlii.ii r-It I'. T will help the
child learn ..'. I.i,11-h behavior.
KIni" iL, the developmental 1.........- the preschool
child so you will not : i behavior .... -1 his ability.
L.' iii, as your ultimate goal a person who has learned
self-di-, :. 1in.
PRACTICAL TIPS ON DISCIPLINE
These are i,_-. -iltn- not I'...i-ii ..... methods:
Try to minimize situations that require II-.I :1 For
example, remove the prized vase until the child is large
l n.1 -ll to understand not to bot her it.
Look for the cause ,i misbehavior-not just the overt act.
Study your child. Keep in tune with him.
Put yourself in the 1ili's place every now and then. See
tlhiii- t-,in his point of view.
Give a child ,ili i ... .,i.,I ,i. for ,i2 bedtime. Let
him know it will soon be time to .... to bed. I 1'..,- will give
him time to .ili-i what he's l..lin:' or at least get to a
good stopping ,.1, .
Give the child an opportunity to evpl;iin his il.iit of view.
Things are not always as we think they are.
\1.- ..'... A. H., Motivation and Personality, p. 86
Let h Iliil.1, participate in the planning of some of your
I',l.I activities. This I i make them feel more a part
the !,,I. I., ," behavior "I not be necessary to
Set reasonable limits, .' ;* what : are, why they are
necessary, and _(- ..'. to stay within them. I -ri.i ch
shows that children want : :,-
Fit the i ..; i,,li i to the misbehavior. I I,.r should
be as little time as i..- '.* between misbehavior and pun-
Punish when a child needs ., I :;, ,i and not when you
need to ;,,,, I
Use the positive :..- I whenever !..-- il. Avoid
," and i .'t."
:.-'1 i now and then to see how you're .i. i!,L' What
kind of results are you ,-'I: ? Is .... child g-r..-.iLc
into a happy, II -i...; expressive, cooperative individual
or is he lI dr w,!..:, r non-expressive and un-
..-.. I '' ;ve ?
tlni-.]ilih'-r for Growth
I' i,, r like parents, need the ';:* ', kind of climate and
soil i- growth. "' i, home has the main 1, -i..... i- li I,, pro-
\ ;Ili,- this atmosphere. The Committee on Home IP? I....iiliif
has -.IL,', -. 1 that there is a healthy atmosphere fI., growth
when a child:
i- loved and wanted-and knows it.
Is 1I. ..1 to grow I1 I. ,...- ;-; ... help when needed.
Has some ';-... and space.
Is a part ..: the fa'-r; 'eels that he belongs to and has
I, i with the f rl;,.
Is corrected without 1,- :i, hurt, shamed or ,n'1I-,1.1 MI --
takes and 'I .'I .." are understood as a normal part .,I
.Ir, ,. i!t,-' up .
Has freedom that fits his age and needs; has i,'-I,,,-ili-!-
ties that fit his .i-.' and In-lI,..I nl
* ,. what he feels and .- things out without being
or ashamed. I. learn "..Ili mistakes as well
* i-. his .... 1' care as much about him as "Ih". do about
his brothers and sisters.
* : '. .'.' and consistently I;-,i i; !l.-. from inlai; '.,
has limits his behavior ....: is 1 1! ..1 to take iii.-il-.,iini
S for his own actions.
* Has :....;, i,.. to believe in and work for because his par-
ents have : their ideals and .., .I~ Litil
.Joe. ( Our Children ..* .. ''ie Extension .,\ -
ice. University of Massachusetts.
Preparediby: lRuthii E. Harris, Fami!Y Life Specialist
COOI'OPERAITIVEI EXTENSION WORKh IN AG;RICIUILITURE AN'[) IIOMF ECOINOIMIC
,'It., rf May 8 and June :0. 191 1
Flwi~ii~t Stn t(? U1 I~nivttrii) t and I)Vtedi Ii S e Ditate, Departm nt r jtue. ('
:,I. O. Iwatki n" D iir',et'rr