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 The comic almanack for 1843
 New books for 1871
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The Comic almanack
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Permanent Link: http://ufdc.ufl.edu/UF00078634/00009
 Material Information
Title: The Comic almanack
Physical Description: 2 v. : fronts. (1 fold.) illus., plates (part fold.) ; 20 cm.
Language: English
Creator: Cruikshank, George, 1792-1878 ( illus )
Thackeray, William Makepeace, 1811-1863
Smith, Albert, 1816-1860
Beckett, Gilbert Abbott, 1811-1856
Mayhew, Horace, 1816-1872
Mayhew, Henry, 1812-1887
Hotten, John Camden, 1832-1873
Publisher: J. C. Hotten
Place of Publication: London
Creation Date: 1843
Publication Date: [1870-71]
 Subjects
Subjects / Keywords: Almanacs, English   ( lcsh )
Genre: non-fiction   ( marcgt )
 Record Information
Source Institution: University of Florida
Rights Management: All rights reserved by the source institution and holding location.
Resource Identifier: aleph - 000632441
notis - ADG2054
lccn - 31004883
System ID: UF00078634:00009

Table of Contents
    Front Cover
        Front Cover
    Front Matter
        Front Matter 1
        Front Matter 2
        Front Matter 3
        Front Matter 4
        Front Matter 5
    Half Title
        Half Title
    Frontispiece
        Image : cold water cure
    Title Page
        Title Page
    Preface
        Preface
    The comic almanack for 1843
        Page 345
        Oh ! law !
            Page 346
            Image : Oh law
        Law report
            Page 347
        January
            London and universal deposit association
                Page 348
        Charter
            Image : charter
            Page 349
            Page 350
        Lights of the present, not of other days
            Page 350
        February
            Charter party
                Page 351
        Morals for the million
            Page 352
            Image
        Few facts
            Page 353
        March winds
            Page 354
        March
            Distraining for rent - a court levy
                Page 355
        Cold water
            Page 356
            Page 357
        April
            Importation for foreign asses under the new tariff
                Page 358
            Ode to signor rubini
                Page 358
        British museum two hundred years hence
            Image : British museum
            Page 359
            Page 360
        May
            Page 361
            The boundary question
                Page 361
        Report on the public health
            Page 362
        China
            Image : China
            Page 363
            Page 364
        Completion of the tunnel
            Page 364
        June
            Page 365
            The cup day at Ascot
                Page 365
        Chimney sweepers lament
            Page 366
        Science
            Image : science
        Remarks on the weather
            Page 367
        Science under divers forms
            Page 367
            Page 368
        Effects of the income tax
            Image : tax
        July
            Page 369
            Effects of the income - tax
                Page 369
        Air um scare um travelling
            Page 370
            Image
            Page 371
        August
            Page 372
            The long vacation
                Page 372
        Show of hands for a liberal candidate
            Image
            Page 373
            Page 374
        September
            Page 375
            Poetical report of the dover cropping case
                Page 375
        Infant education
            Page 376
            Image
            Page 377
        October
            Page 378
            Indian rubber
                Page 378
        Height of improvement
            Image : height
            Page 379
            Page 380
        November
            Page 381
            The right of search
                Page 381
        Socialism - new harmony
            Page 382
            Image
            Page 383
        December
            Page 384
            Christmas beef a la mode de tariff
                Page 384
        Militia
            Page 385
        Chronology for the year 1842
            Page 386
            Page 387
            Page 388
    New books for 1871
        New books 1
        New books 2
        New books 3
        New books 4
        New books 5
        New books 6
        New books 7
        New books 8
        New books 9
        New books 10
        New books 11
        New books 12
        New books 13
        New books 14
        New books 15
        New books 16
        New books 17
        New books 18
        New books 19
        New books 20
        New books 21
        New books 22
        New books 23
        New books 24
        New books 25
        New books 26
        New books 27
        New books 28
        New books 29
        New books 30
        New books 31
        New books 32
    Back Matter
        Back Matter 1
        Back Matter 2
    Back Cover
        Back Cover
Full Text













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S Odd And Interesting

Dickens once visited Crilkshank's Atudio and there saw
a series of pictures illustrating the career of a London
thief. There was a sketch of Falin's den. the Artful
Dodger, Charley Bates and Bill Stkes. All these Dickeni
.worked Into the book, "Oliver Twist."


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THE

COMIC ALMANAC.


IST SERIES, 1835-1843.






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The Cold Water Cure.


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THE


COMIC ALMANAC

AN EPIIEMERIS:IN JEST AND EARNEST, CONTAINING

MERRY TALES, HUMOROUS POETRY,

QUIPS, AND ODDITIES.

BY
STHACKERAY, ALBERT SMITH, GILBERT A BECKETT,
THE BROTHERS MAYHEW.












"FULL INSIDE, SIR, BUT PLENTY OF ROOM ON THE ROOF."

lBiti mango Tunbreb Illustrations

BY GEORGE CRUIKSHANK
AND OTHER ARTISTS.

FIRST SERIES, 1835-1843.

LONDON:
JOHN CAMDEN HOTTEN, 74 & 75, PICCADILLY.











PRELIMINARY.




T HE Comic Almanacks" of George Cruikshank have long
been regarded by admirers of this inimitable artist as
among his finest, most characteristic productions. Extending
over a period of nineteen years, from 1835 to 1853, inclusive,
they embrace the best period of his artistic career, and show the
varied excellences of his marvellous power.
The late Mr. Tilt, of Fleet Street, first conceived the idea of
the Comic Almanack," and at various times there were engaged
upon it such writers as Thackeray, Albert Smith, the Brothers
Mayhew, the late Robert Brough, Gilbert A'Beckett, and it has
been asserted, Tom Hood, the elder. Thackeray's stories of
"Stubbs' Calendar, or the Fatal Boots," which subsequently
appeared as "Stubbs' Diary;" and Barber Cox, or the Cutting
of his Comb," formed the leading attractions in the numbers for
1839 and 1840. The Almanack was published at 2s. 6d., but
in 1848-9 the size was reduced and the price altered to Is.
The change did not produce the increased circulation expected,
and in 1850 it was again enlarged and published at 2s. 6d. In
this year some very spiritedly designed folding plates were added,
and this feature continued until 1853, when Mr. Tilt's partner,
the late Mr. Bogue, thought proper to discontinue the work.
For many years past, sets of the Almanack have been eagerly
sought after by collectors, and as much as 61. and 71. have
been given. for good copies.
A Second Series, completing the work, will shortly be pub-
lished. It will be uniform in size and appearance with the
present volume, and embrace the years 1844-1853.
J. C. H.
















THE


COMIC ALMANAC

FOR 1843.






THE 'COMIC ALMANAC.


OH! LAW!

THERE never were such times as these A barrister could once,
with ease, have got as many fees, by merely signing pleas, as would
have given him something more than bread and cheese; but destiny's
decrees have made it feasible no more to get such fees; and if the
lawyers please to live, they can no longer live by pleas.
Those days, alas! are flown, when seeds of litigation, shrewdly
sown, were very often known, not through a single life alone to have
thriven and grown, but to have reached the state that's called full
blown, in time for the attorney's son to make the crop his own. But
now the lawyers are thrown over-the system's overthrown.
The common law is common now no more; full many a clause
in Acts of Parliament has clipped its claw. The time is o'er, when,
for an hour, one could jaw about the spelling of the man who did
the indictment draw, and whose mistake, or clerical faux paw, had
floored poor ill-used justice by a literal flaw.
If Eldon now could rise and see the changes made since he would
doubt and disagree e'en with his own decree, what would the great
man's feelings be ? He'd say this seems not like the Court of Chan-
ceree, in whose old customs I had hoped that we had an estate in
fee; such suits as these would not have suited me!
Oh! who would once have dared to dream that judges could have
worked by steam ? Although, without a joke, justice would very
often end in smoke; and, from the speeches still-preserved on paper,
we find that legal eloquence was often only vapour; while law itself
contained, as it would seem, the element and principle of steam; for
those who ever had a bout of it, found it hot water, and were very
'glad when they got out of it. Mechanics' principles the lawyers
knew, and made amazing use of two-the wedge and screw But
of the third, in early legal cases, there is little heard; for though to
scientific men of old the lever was well known, as we are told, the
lawyers seem to have refused it, or never used it. The lever they
despised; at least we find them not leaving anything they could
take behind them! But it is also thought some early barristers so
often moved in court, that they had something like a notion of
coming to perpetual motion.


[I843,










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Oh, Law!







1843.]


A LAW REPORT.
Doe on the demise of Roe, versus Roe on the demise of Doe.

Tms was a case of ejectment. Gabble (Q.C.) for plaintiff.-" This
is a clear case of ouster (Shower, 2); but if the tenant in possession
disputes the title of tenant in tail, he cannot plead laches (Campbell,
1). In this case the remainder man was regularly let in, but the
widow cannot n6w claim dower (Blackstone, 3). Suppose the mort-
gagee had been anxious to foreclose, then plaintiff must have been
guided by the rule in Shelly's case (Adolphus and Ellis, 6.) Here
there is nothing of the kind. If defendant takes anything, it is in
the character of tenant in reversion after the possibility of issue
extinct (Shower, 1).
Thumpus (Serjeant) contra.-Doe takes only a chattel interest.
or, at most, a base fee (Taunton, 6). The court must presume that
the outstanding term is satisfied (East, 6). The rule is not now as
Coke laid it down, for Mansfield (C. J.) declined taking it up. This
is a case of common ouster. Doe walked in as trustee, and was
kicked out in tail. There is no relief for him at common law
(Bracton). The door was shut upon him by defendant's son, and
the parent is not answerable for the act of the boy (Chitty). Judg-
ment was now delivered by the court.
Mither (C.J.)-This is an uncommon case. Doe was never regu-
larly in, nor was Roe regularly out. Both took as devisees of the
same testator. The case in Shower cannot guide us here, though
the rule laid down has been recognized. I do not think there is
much in the objection to the widow's claim of dower, though I see
I have got it upon my notes. A mortgagee may suffer by lashes,
but then the defendant should have pleaded the tort. There is
nothing of this on the record, and the verdict must go accordingly.
Puny (J.)-I am of the same opinion. My brother Thumpus has
referred us to Bracton. I know the point in Bracton, and have de-
cided it twice the other way. But here I think the rule in Shelly's
case comes in and carries the verdict.
Twaddle (J.)-There are four points in this case; three of them
amounted to nothing, and the fourth has been conceded. The laches
ought to have appeared on the pleadings. There cannot be a use
upon a use (Sanders), but a trustee may take by the common law,
which the statute, Jac. II., c. 14, did not interfere with. The pro-
visions of the act removed much abuse, and the eighty-fourth is a
particularly wholesome section. Here these questions do not arise,
and, as the rule is clear, the verdict must follow it.
Shiver (J.)-I am of the same opinion.








348


84~


JANUARY.


It


(GeuLlemen in the Direction.)
LONDON AND UNIVERSAL DEPOSIT ASSOCIATION.
Time of taking in, ten to four. Drawing out, ten to one.
WANTED some fine young men, without delay,
To carry boards about the street,
And pop into the board-room once a day,
As shareholders, to muster a display,
When the directors meet.
It is expected all will be quite willing
To take a share for which they'll pay a shilling.
All those who don't object to taking more
Will profit in a very high degree ;
And any one who purchases a score
Becomes vice-president and life trustee.
To each vice-president, besides his pay
Of eighteen-pence a day,
Which is of all deductions clear,
There is allowed a pot of beer.
The company beg to propose ajob,
That is adapted well to any single swell,
Or may be undertaken by the mob.
In plainer terms to speak,.there is a meeting once a week,
At which it is advisable to muster,
Of flashy-looking gentlemen, a cluster.
A liberal price to any one who brings
Of gold, of course mosaic, a display;
But there is some reduction in the pay,
When the Directors find pins, chains, and rings.
Immediate application is required
From those by whom employment is desired;
Because the company will soon begin
To take Shareholders and deposits in.
And there is very little doubt,
That when the time arrives for drawing out,
The company, by some strange antic,
Will be removed across the Atlantic.



















































THE CHARTER -A Cbommors Scene.


5
--- P

'~"~"~;~3F


MO







I843.J 349

THE CHARTER.
A COMMONS SCENE IN THE YEAR 1943.
SEVERAL Members took the oaths, and the Speaker took his seat,
when six-and-twenty members all at once were on their feet. The
standing order then to move some dozen did begin; and, in com-
pliance with it, the Speaker ordered in, for all the honourable
members, each a go" of gin.
The worthy representative of Monmouth Street began to bring
before the house his well-digested plan, for making up the deficit, by
taxing every man who should be found to own a baked, potato-can.
He went into the history of taturs, from the day when first the
sun of science shone with resplendent ray, and pointed out for
baking them the most delicious way: he traced the rise of cans
from the very first of all, when they used to manufacture them par-
ticularly small, until the later era, when they made them very tall,
with half-a-dozen lanterns, from which the light would fall, the
notice of the populace unto the can to call, and, like a very basilisk,
the little boys enthral.
The member then for Battersea, in an impressive speech, brought
on his promised motion for giving Chelsea Reach, and also Twicken-
ham Meadows, another member each. He said, and while he said
it, he acknowledged it was true, that those who lived at Battersea
and Twickenham were few, but unto them the -suffrage undoubtedly
was due, because it had been given to Hammersmith and Kew.
The great election compromise was then at length discussed, and
it was soon decided that the sitting member must, upon a charge
of bribery, from out his seat be thrust; because he had corrupted,
with a pot of beer, a crust, and bit of cheese, a voter who took away
the dust.
The watercress and radish trade presented a petition, complain-
ing very bitterly of their distressed condition, and praying that
the Parliament would put a prohibition on foreign cress and radishes,
which caused a competition that threatened to annihilate at once
the home vendition. The House, in tongues as numerous as e'er
were heard at Babel, expressed at once a wish to do whatever it was
able, and ordered the petition, then, to lie upon the table.
But now the long discussion was eagerly resumed, upon the
knotty question, whether those who weren't illumed with a know-






THE COMIC ALMANAC.


ledge of the reading art, could ever be presumed fit persons unto
whom the nation's guidance should 'be doomedP 'Twas argued
very cleverly, and was by all confessed, that, as the members had
not been by property oppressed, enabling them to sympathize much
more with the distressed, and, as they were with very slight quali-
fications blessed, perhaps, if they had none at all, it would be for
the best.
The House was now impatient, and many rose to say, that they
had listened long enough, and wished to get away; for they had
sat sufficient time to constitute a day, and therefore hoped the
Speaker no longer would delay, in ordering to each of them their
ordinary pay.
With this the feeling of the House appeared to coincide; the
Speaker to the treasurer for funds at once applied, and at the
sight of money there arose, from every side, one universal clamour
of-" Divide! divide! divide!"




LIGHTS OF THE PRESENT, NOT OF OTHER DAYS.

'TIs moonlight where the silver waters stray,
'Tis safety-light in mines or caverns deep;
'Tis waxlight at the dinner-party gay,
'Tis rushlight in the room where mortals sleep.

'Tis candlelight in many a parlour neat,
Where father, mother, children, sit at tea:
'Tis gaslight in the office, shop, and street,
'Tis twilight when the muffin-boy we see.

'Tis skylight in the high and vaulted dome,
'Tis Bengal light where ships in danger toss,
'Tis Bude light where the Pall Mall loungers roam,
And it is Boccius light at Charing Cross.


-4-


[I843,






THE COMIC ALMANAC.


ledge of the reading art, could ever be presumed fit persons unto
whom the nation's guidance should 'be doomedP 'Twas argued
very cleverly, and was by all confessed, that, as the members had
not been by property oppressed, enabling them to sympathize much
more with the distressed, and, as they were with very slight quali-
fications blessed, perhaps, if they had none at all, it would be for
the best.
The House was now impatient, and many rose to say, that they
had listened long enough, and wished to get away; for they had
sat sufficient time to constitute a day, and therefore hoped the
Speaker no longer would delay, in ordering to each of them their
ordinary pay.
With this the feeling of the House appeared to coincide; the
Speaker to the treasurer for funds at once applied, and at the
sight of money there arose, from every side, one universal clamour
of-" Divide! divide! divide!"




LIGHTS OF THE PRESENT, NOT OF OTHER DAYS.

'TIs moonlight where the silver waters stray,
'Tis safety-light in mines or caverns deep;
'Tis waxlight at the dinner-party gay,
'Tis rushlight in the room where mortals sleep.

'Tis candlelight in many a parlour neat,
Where father, mother, children, sit at tea:
'Tis gaslight in the office, shop, and street,
'Tis twilight when the muffin-boy we see.

'Tis skylight in the high and vaulted dome,
'Tis Bengal light where ships in danger toss,
'Tis Bude light where the Pall Mall loungers roam,
And it is Boccius light at Charing Cross.


-4-


[I843,







1843.] FEBRUARY. 351


A CHARTER PARTY.
THE United Female Chartist Washerwomen met a deputation from the Infant
Society of Universal Suffrage and Vote by Ballot Orphans, in the long room of
the Institution belonging to the former, when a discussion ensued on the subject of
the Charter.
It was at length resolved to extend the five pints to six; and it was finally
agreed that three quarts should constitute the measure they are jointly going for.
Upon a proposition that they should adopt the principle of the whole hog, a dis-
cussion arose as to whether the gammon was to be included; but it was soon
decided that the whole hoggites would be nothing at all, if it were not for the
gammon, which was accordingly retained by a large majority.
The following subscriptions, in aid of the Victim Fund," were then read by
the secretary, who stated that the amounts were in the hands of the treasurer,
who was absent from indisposition:
Subscriptions to the Victinm Fund." s. d.
Eight-and-twenty patriotic mothers............................ 0 0 9
Three charwomen, who are ready to scour the country in
aid of the good cause ......................................... 0 3
Nine tailors, who feel as one man................................ 0 0 1
Ten patriotic grandmothers, who would see their grand-
children enjoying their freedom in the land of their
grandfathers...................................................... 0 0 5
The hands employed upon St. Martin's clock ................. 0 6
The great petition was then brought forward for additional signatures, when
it was resolved, that knowing how to write should not be a sine qud non for
signing it. Several chartist children were permitted to put their marks, and the
grand master of the lodge of juvenile levellers was appointed as controller of the
sand and blotting paper.
Inthe evening tea was served, and several rounds of patriotic toasts were given.

26. Bonaparte escaped from Elba, 1815.
Napoleon could not bear the exile's doom,
And Elba left, in search of Elba (elbow) room.






THE COMIC ALMANACK.


MORALS FOR THE MILLION.

THERE's nothing, in the present day,
That's done by halves; all's in the wholesale way.
We've singing for the million, not the-few,
And now we've writing for the million too.
The penny post has raised a batch,
Who manifest such zeal,
In scribbling with their pens of steel,
They seem to be inspired by Old Scratch.
The singing for the million's very well;
And if they would but tune the postman's bell,
Or make the dustman keep
Within the rules of harmony,
By always giving out his cry
In octaves, with the sweep;
Or, if the muffin-man could only be '
Persuaded to adopt the treble key,
So that his voice in melody might rise,
And as a tenor might be reckon'd,
Supported by the deep bass second
Of him whose song is-" Here's your kidney pies!"
In anybody's system we'll believe
That can such excellent results achieve;
If methods for the million thrive,
No doubt the time will soon arrive
When schools will by the multitude be sought,
Where morals for the million will be taught.
Then honesty will out of fashion go;
And virtue, if it sinks to the mobility,
Of course, by all pretending to gentility,
Will then be voted low.
If, in the present day,
'Tis thought much spirit to display
To steal a street-door knocker, or a bell,
Why not, in time, take handkerchiefs as well ?
As the elite of fashion will be few,
Policemen will have little then to do
Cases of robbery to detect,
For thieving will be so select.
Morality will then be taught
In every alley, lane, and court;
The principles of honour to instil
They'll open schools on Saffron Hill.
St. Giles will be the most revered of names,
And the swell mob may then be found
In western rookeries to abound-
['heir sanctuary the clubs that grace St. James.






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a-NW SAINT GI'LES Morals for the Millon.
NEW SAINT 0ILESs Morals for the Million.


_~3~1







1843.]


A FEW FACTS.

IT is a fact that Mr. Graball has resigned his very lucrative
situation, and that he thus relinquishes a thousand a year-bat
he has received another appointment with a salary of fifteen
hundred.
It is a fact that Mr. Skinflint put half-a-crown into the plate at
the last charity sermon-but it was a bad one.
It is a fact that the once dissipated and extravagant Mr. Meltall
remained at home every evening last week-but he had no money
to go out with.
It is a fact that the improvident and faithless Mr. Squander took
up a bill for ten pounds-but he gave one for twenty on the previous
day, in order to accomplish the object.
It is a fact that the master of one of the Union Workhouses shed
a tear--but he was standing near the cook who was scraping horse-
radish.
I It is a fact that Mr. Overhead can place his hand upon his heart,
and declare he does not owe a shilling in the world-but he has just
taken the benefit of the Insolvent Act.
It is a fact that Lord Stingy patronised the performances at
Covent Garden Theatre twice last season-but he went with an
order on each occasion.
It is a fact that the benevolent Mr. Bountiful gave his watch and
purse to a miserable object on Hounslow Heath-but he perceived
a stout bludgeon peeping from beneath the rags of the mendicant.
It is a fact that the coffer-dam of the Hungerford Suspension
Bridge was drained completely dry-but it was full of water a week
afterwards.
It is a fact that Oxford Street is at last paved with wood-but
the alteration has caused much annoyance to the heads of the
parish.
It is a fact that the Society for the protection of life against fire
were on the spot with their apparatus-but it was two days after
the conflagration had happened.
It is a fact that Mr. Feeling expresses great sympathy for the
poor-but he was never known to feel in his pocket for their relief.
It is a fact that some of the low-priced bakers give full weight-
but they are very liberal of alum.
SAA






THE COMIC ALMANACK.


MARCH WINDS.
THE Meteorological Society held their great meeting on Waterloo
Bridge, to watch the nature of the March winds, and several very
interesting phenomena were made manifest. A member having
placed himself in one of the recesses, waited the coming of a gust
from the north, and was presently in a position to relate the fol-
lowing particulars.
His first sensation was that of a severe blow in the face, which
drew moisture from both his eyes, and sent out his hair into a
number of almost horizontal lines, some of them forming right
angles with his forehead. On turning his back, for the purpose of
farther experiments, his hat underwent such rapid rarefaction, that,
becoming considerably lighter than the air, it was carried, in a
slanting direction, a few inches from his head, when the expansive
power of the atmosphere having ceased to take full effect, the gos-
samer fell by its own specific gravity to the earth, and revolved on
its own axis as far as the toll-gate.
A most interesting experiment was then tried with an ordinary
umbrella, upon which, in its closed state, the March wind was found
to have no particular power, though it was ascertained that there
was an equal atmospheric pressure on every part of the gingham.
On putting the umbrella up, and presenting it to the wind, the
holder of the machine was carried gently backwards, but on his
turning round, the sight became very animating to the bystanders.
The umbrella was completely turned inside out, and, at length, the
whole concern collapsed with a frightful crash-the points to which
the gingham was fastened being compressed together in a reverse
position to that which they were intended to occupy. The iron
rods attached to the whalebone immediately fell into angular
figures, and it was not thought advisable to proceed further with
the experiment.
It was proved, beyond the possibility of doubt, that if the human
eye be kept wide open in a March wind, the dust will be carried
upwards until it reaches the organ of vision. This was experienced
in two or three cases; and an enthusiast in the cause repeated the
experiment several times, when it was found to fail in no single
instance.








1843.J MARCH. 355



















DISTRAINING FOR RENT.-A COURT LEVY.
HOLLO! What's this ?-of dirty-looking fellows what a bevy!
It's the sheriff's people, I declare, coming to hold a levy;
It's true, since in the place I've been, no rent I've had to pay,
But they might give one a little quarter, at least, on quarter day.
They know I've paid some taxes, and surely might have waited,
For, like a book that's greatly puff'd, I'm sadly overrated;
The landlord surely did not think that I would have decamp'd,
Although by last year's water I was very nearly swamp'd.
They charge one dear for stuff that e'en to think of makes one shiver,
Much more to drink; I mean, of course, the fluid from the river;
By paying for it separate, as water, we're deluded,
For, when we come to use it, we find the gas included;
But, then, the Water Companies at trifles never stick,
They really lay it on, at times, abominably thick;
The tax collectors of distress will never make no bones,
I'm sure the paving board.are, in their hearts, a set of stones.
And as for windows, 'tis a shame, a rate for them to levy,
Which makes, as every one allows, the light come precious heavy;
But what am I about? oh! dear, amid this long digression,
The broker's man's got in, and I have lost my self-possession!

5. A protocol signed, announcing Mehemet Ali's uncon-
ditional submission to the Sultan.
The Sultan now may stand at ease,
Though Mehemet made him tremble daily,
When Ali, bent upon a breeze,
Was regularly Haily Galey.

31. The Allied Sovereigns entered Paris, 1814, and on the last
day of the month ended their march.
AA2







THE COMIC ALMANAC.


COLD WATER.
BY A PUPIL OF ONE OF THE LAKE POETS.
SOME sing the peaceful pleasures of the plains,
While other bards invoke the groves and woods;
But I, enamour'd of incessant rains,
Will make my theme cold water and the floods.
Let others sit beneath the leafy shade,
While murmuring breezes softly float about;
But I in purling brooks delight to wade,
Or stand beneath some friendly water-spout.
'Tis sweet the nectar of the gods to quaff,
And very pleasant is the rosy wine;
Refreshing is the taste of "half-and-half,"
But of all drinks cold water shall be mine.
The verdant turf is grateful to the feet,
And some recline upon the mossy vale;
But smoothest lawns yield not so soft a seat,
As that afforded by a well-fill'd pail.
Before another century has fled,
Water, thy virtues none will dare deny;
Posterity will humbly bare its head,
When thou in rain descendest from the sky.
The workman, when his daily labour's done,
Eager alike for luxury and rest,
Will to his water-butt impatient run,
The spigot turn-lie under-and be blest!
No longer to the couch will idlers fly,
When the siesta they would fain invite;
But neathh the pump will indolently lie,
While lackeys work away with all their might
No more will builders try their utmost skill,
As now, to render houses waterproof;
But all their tiles in little holes they'll drill
And make a shower-bath in every roof.
Economists will search in every street
For friendly water-spouts supplied with rain;
Where, gratis, they may with the luxury meet-
Ay, luxury!-of water on the brain.
No more shall watering-pots their blessings shed,
Alone on vegetables, fruit, and flowers;
But man, reclining on a water bed,
Shall be refresh'd by gently falling showers.


[1843






COLD WATER.


Umbrellas, also, will be only known
By specimens in old museums seen,
Which, as barbaric relics, will be shown
Of customs curious that once have been.
And if some Macintosh (which now we wear,
To keep off wet) escape the wreck of time,
Posterity may find it, and declare
Such cruel things were made to punish crime.
And when 'tis read in history's faithful page
That pickpockets were pump'd on, now and then,
Our children will despise a foolish age,
That so much honour'd such unworthy men.
Then hail! all hail! to hydropathic skill,
Upon whose principles it stands confess'd,
That he who cisterns vast will freely swill
May dropsy cure-or water on the chest.
For nauseous drugs no use there soon will be;
For salts, magnesia, senna, no pretence;
Dispensing chemists, all men will agree
To view as things with which they can dispense.
Physic to agriculture they'll apply,
And write prescriptions for a sickly crop;
With fever mixtures, when the land's too dry,
Inflammatory action they will stop.
In every farm, so modern savans say,
A chemist will be always needed near;
For, if the corn unhealthiness display,
He'd dose it for diseases of the ear.



A PROVERB REFUTED.
AT the Surrey menagerie every one knows,
(Because 'tis a place to which every one goes,)
There's a model of Rome; and as round it one struts,
One sinks the remembrance of Newington Butts;
And having a shilling laid down at the portal,
One fancies one's self in the city immortal.
This model so splendid one night was burn'd down,
When, lo! the next day, 'twas announced to the town
That the damage had all been repair'd and put straight,
In time for the next zoological fite.
Then who is there henceforth will venture to say
That Rome cannot sometimes be built in a day.






;58 APRIL. [1843,

IMPORTATION OF FOREIGN ASSES UNDER THE
NEW TARIFF.
OH! what on earth induced Sir Robert Peel
Such wondrous sympathy to feel
For that unprofitable class-the foreign ass ?
When we have native asses by the score,
Eow could Sir Robert think we needed more ?
But the provision is not worth a pin,
Which now, for twenty shillings, lets them in;
When they have all along been coming over,
For half a guinea, in the boats to Dover.
If with the common donkey we compare
The foreign asses-they display
A trifling difference of bray,
With coats peculiar, and lengthy hair.
Zoologists the jackass would describe
As of the vertebrated tribe,
But then there's so much softness in the head,
To the molluscous class, it might be said,
The foreign donkey throng-belong.
With further information all may meet,
On any afternoon, in Regent-street.
9. Fire Insurances due.
All those who don't wish their insurance to stop,
Out of policy wont let their policy drop;
And 'tis better, a premium though they require,
To be scorch'd in the Sun, than burnt out in the fire.


ODE TO SIGNOR RUBINI.
GREAT vocalist! that tak'st, with wondrous ease,
A rapid passage on the highest C's;
Thy compass beats the mariner's quite hollow,
For where it leads none but thyself can follow;
And then the wind, at will, 'tis thou canst raise,
By gentle airs, for which the public pays;
Thy skill e'en that of Orpheus far surpasses,
He charm'd wild beasts, but thou enchantest asses,
As in their stalls-places for donkeys fit-
With ears erect the dilettanti sit.
When hanging on the honey of thy lip,
Mellifluous harmony we seem to sip;
And, listening to the strain sent forth by thee,
A paradise the opera would be,
But for the little truth our purses teach,
That we are minus half a guinea each.






;58 APRIL. [1843,

IMPORTATION OF FOREIGN ASSES UNDER THE
NEW TARIFF.
OH! what on earth induced Sir Robert Peel
Such wondrous sympathy to feel
For that unprofitable class-the foreign ass ?
When we have native asses by the score,
Eow could Sir Robert think we needed more ?
But the provision is not worth a pin,
Which now, for twenty shillings, lets them in;
When they have all along been coming over,
For half a guinea, in the boats to Dover.
If with the common donkey we compare
The foreign asses-they display
A trifling difference of bray,
With coats peculiar, and lengthy hair.
Zoologists the jackass would describe
As of the vertebrated tribe,
But then there's so much softness in the head,
To the molluscous class, it might be said,
The foreign donkey throng-belong.
With further information all may meet,
On any afternoon, in Regent-street.
9. Fire Insurances due.
All those who don't wish their insurance to stop,
Out of policy wont let their policy drop;
And 'tis better, a premium though they require,
To be scorch'd in the Sun, than burnt out in the fire.


ODE TO SIGNOR RUBINI.
GREAT vocalist! that tak'st, with wondrous ease,
A rapid passage on the highest C's;
Thy compass beats the mariner's quite hollow,
For where it leads none but thyself can follow;
And then the wind, at will, 'tis thou canst raise,
By gentle airs, for which the public pays;
Thy skill e'en that of Orpheus far surpasses,
He charm'd wild beasts, but thou enchantest asses,
As in their stalls-places for donkeys fit-
With ears erect the dilettanti sit.
When hanging on the honey of thy lip,
Mellifluous harmony we seem to sip;
And, listening to the strain sent forth by thee,
A paradise the opera would be,
But for the little truth our purses teach,
That we are minus half a guinea each.








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.British Museum 2043 Curiosities of Ancient Times.











THE BRITISH MUSEUM TWO HUNDRED
YEARS HENCE.
THE British Association for the Advancement of Science, which began its
meetings at Bristol, has since been strongly recommended to go to Bath; and
if it is not sent permanently to Coventry before the year 2043, we may
conceive its having reached by that time a state of stagnancy in the neigh-
bourhood of Bloomsbury. As there will, of course, be antiquarians among
them, imagination can easily picture them clinging fondly to St. Giles's, as
the quarter inhabited by the Anglo-Greeks; and the members will, no doubt,
be searching, a hundred years hence, for the fossil remains of petrified crows
in the neighbourhood of'the Rookery.
The following is an anticipatory report of the meeting of the Association,
after having been cradled in the laps of time during the lapse of a couple of
centuries.
REPORT OF THE COMMITTEE, APRIL 1, 2043.
Your Committee have the satisfaction to state that, their funds being
thoroughly exhausted, they have been enabled to save the usual expense of
travelling, and have taken advantage of the liberality of the Government for
the purpose of visiting the British Museum. Your Committee remained some
time at the outer gate, for the purpose of making some observations on two
boxes, which it is understood have been there for sentries; but, as they have
not discovered what a sentry is, your Committee conclude that the word
must be a corruption of centuries.
On going through the court-yard the Association made some experiments
upon the atmosphere, with the view of calculating the difference (by means
of the differential calculus) between the air inside the gates and that which
circulates on the outside ; but your Committee are unable to state any satis-
factory result to their arduous experiment.
On entering the hall of the Museum your Committee have to complain of
being deprived of their walking-sticks; but this annoyance was in some
degree compensated by their receiving in exchange some very curious pieces
of tin, which are, no doubt, of very ancient origin. They were at once referred
to the chairman of the mineralogical section, who pronounced them to be the
coin generally in use in the nineteenth century, for the word tin is frequently
met with, in old books, where money is clearly the article alluded to.
Upon reaching the great room your Committee were met by an officer of
the Museum, who conducted them over the building, and pointed out to your
Committee the chief objects of interest.
The Association had the satisfaction of looking at a very ancient machine,
called the stocks, which served the double purpose of punishing offenders and
regulating the money market. The chairman of your Committee was
appointed to sit on the stocks, and did so for a considerable time, in the
course of which he fully ascertained how they might have been available for
punishment, but he is still at a loss to discover the monetary uses which our
ancestors evidently put them to. It must be regarded as one of the lost arts,
like chuck-farthing, and other mysteries, which are now only left to us in the
pages of history.
Your Committee were greatly delighted by a series of portraits of a tribe of
individuals, carrying flagelli, or whips, and whose noses Were made the subject







360 THE COMIC ALMANACK. r1843.

of a very learned paper by your president. The extreme redness of the point
was formerly supposed to arise from drinking brandy; but your president
having taken several successive draughts of that spirit, without any peculiar
redness in the nose becoming immediately obvious, was prevented by ex-
haustion, ending in utter prostration, from continuing his very ingenious and
interesting experiment. It is believed, by your Committee, that the redness
of nose, which was characteristic of the old auriga, or coach-driver, arose
from a constant habit of blushing, which the peculiar modesty of the race, as
it is found alluded to in reports of police cases in past ages, would account
for easily.
But the great attraction to your Committee consisted in the two celebrated
figures of antiquity, known to the public as the Whig and Tory, by whom,
according to old writers, this country was torn for a considerable period.
Your committee congratulate themselves that they do not live in those
shocking times, when, according to contemporary writers, the Whigs ruined
the British Constitution four times in six years, and the Tories gave, in the
same period, eleven death-blows to public liberty. How the Constitution
ever was restored to health, or how liberty was brought to life, has greatly
puzzled your Committee; but they have at last discovered that there were,
in those days certain pills which eradicated everything; and, as mention is
made in old books of various pillars of the state, your Committee have no
hesitation in attributing the wondrous cures to the means alluded to.
Your Committee had almost forgotten to mention a very curious old
machine, called-a drop; and, taken in connexion with the black-letter phrase
of "a drop too much," there can be no doubt that the drop now in the
Museum was that which is constantly spoken of as "too much," by the old
chroniclers.
The remains of a gibbet also gave rise to a curious discussion in one of
the sections, and your Committee at last decided that the instrument was
used by a hanging committee attached to a society of painters, who, under
the pretext of executing justice, were in the habit of resorting to all sorts of
ernelty.
The Association were likewise favoured with the perusal of a very scarce
old volume, mysteriously labelled, "A tax-gatherer's Book;" from which
your Committee are led to infer, that there were formerly a class of marauders
who traversed the kingdom, going from door to door, and exacting sums of
money from the inhabitants. To show the frivolous pretexts that sufficed for
these plunderers to carry on their system of rapine, your Committee have
only to observe that a demand was made on account of light and air, which
were actually in those days paid for by the people in the form of what was
called a window-tax.
Your Committee having concluded their inspection of the British Museum,
returned into the open air; and a shower of rain coming on, they had an
opportunity of making a series of observations on the effect which moisture
produces upon the skin, and the power of the animal caloric, in the human
foot, to resist for a time the chill ultimately engendered by walking into
puddles.











THE BOUNDARY QUESTION.

THE parlours of a house in Pleasant Row
Were occupied by Mrs. Snow;
The first-floor front and back
Were tenanted by Mrs. Black.
As neighbours, it is doubtful whether
They might not, perhaps, have lived and loved together,
But for their occupations ever clashing-
Both took in washing !
In quarrels they might ne'er have been entangled,
With bitter, friendship's cup had ne'er been dash'd,
If Mrs. Snow alone had wash'd,
Or had the fates ordain'd that Mrs. Black had mangled.
But destiny had otherwise decreed!
On the same house the passer-by might read
Two boards inscribed with letters large and clear,
"Washing done," said one;
The other, mocking, answered "here."
Heart-burnings soon arose,
Both wish'd to boil their clothes,
A wish, on either side, extremely proper,
Yet neither one was worth a separate copper.
But linen (as to all the world is known)
Is not got out of hand by being boil'd alone;
Another process it must needs abide-
It must be dried;
The operation of the tub
Was, in this instance, not the only rub !
In little houses it is always found,
The space is small allowed for. drying ground.
Such was the fault in mapping out the Row
Inhabited by Mesdames Black and Snow;
The boundary question they could never settle,
The copper feud had put them on their mettle;
And, to this day, it's not agreed, in fine,
Where each shall be content to draw the line.


MAY.


1843.1











THE BOUNDARY QUESTION.

THE parlours of a house in Pleasant Row
Were occupied by Mrs. Snow;
The first-floor front and back
Were tenanted by Mrs. Black.
As neighbours, it is doubtful whether
They might not, perhaps, have lived and loved together,
But for their occupations ever clashing-
Both took in washing !
In quarrels they might ne'er have been entangled,
With bitter, friendship's cup had ne'er been dash'd,
If Mrs. Snow alone had wash'd,
Or had the fates ordain'd that Mrs. Black had mangled.
But destiny had otherwise decreed!
On the same house the passer-by might read
Two boards inscribed with letters large and clear,
"Washing done," said one;
The other, mocking, answered "here."
Heart-burnings soon arose,
Both wish'd to boil their clothes,
A wish, on either side, extremely proper,
Yet neither one was worth a separate copper.
But linen (as to all the world is known)
Is not got out of hand by being boil'd alone;
Another process it must needs abide-
It must be dried;
The operation of the tub
Was, in this instance, not the only rub !
In little houses it is always found,
The space is small allowed for. drying ground.
Such was the fault in mapping out the Row
Inhabited by Mesdames Black and Snow;
The boundary question they could never settle,
The copper feud had put them on their mettle;
And, to this day, it's not agreed, in fine,
Where each shall be content to draw the line.


MAY.


1843.1






THE COMIC ALMANAC.


REPORT ON THE PUBLIC HEALTH.

THE Commissioners for inquiring into the state of the public
health have forwarded to each of their assistants a copy of the
following questions, with instructions to put them to all persons
residing in, visiting, or passing through the district:-
Q. How are you ?
This was the first and most obvious inquiry that the Commis-
sioners ordered to be addressed to the population; but, as the
returns were by no means so full as could be desired, it was deter-
mined to add another question, which should distinguish those
cases in which disease has been inherited. For this purpose it was
arranged that a second, or supplementary question should be framed,
and the Commissioners drew up the following:-
Q. How is your mother P
To both these questions the Commissioners have received nume-
rous replies, most of them short and concise; but it has been
observed that considerable soreness has been exhibited in some
cases, in which it has been thought advisable to ask for information
under the second head. The habits, or, perhaps, the Commissioners
ought rather to say, the prejudices of the English people are averse
to any investigation into their domestic affairs; and many, when
the health of their mothers has been inquired into, have manifested
a spirit that the Commissioners have found very detrimental to the
success of their efforts.
It occurred to the Commissioners that the chemists' shops in
poor neighborhoods would supply a vast mass of statistical in-
formation on the subject of the public health, and they have ordered
a return of all the prescriptions made up within the last year,
classing them under the two heads of cathartic and stimulant.
The Commissioners have also ordered a schedule to be drawn up of
all medicine-bottles purchased at the rag-shops, and have instructed
their assistants to drain the contents of those which were not quite
empty, for the purpose of ascertaining their properties, with a view
to classing them under the heads already mentioned.
It has been clearly ascertained that, in nine cases of acute tooth-
ache, in a very low neighbourhood, six had it out," one applied a
leech to the gum, and two did nothing. In a series of ninety-four
cases of cough, it has been calculated that four ounces of Spanish
liquorice were consumed, while about one moiety of the patients
very patiently waited to see what time would do for them.
The Commissioners observe, with regret, that the ordinary sneeze
has been lately prevalent, but it does not appear that any safe mode
of treatment has yet been discovered for checking it. The Commis-
sioners think it better to trust to nature in such a matter, though
they have known the operation of drawing the finger smartly along
the bridge of the nose, towards the forehead, sometimes successfully
resorted to.


.[1843.
























































A Set-of China, 1.943.









CHINA.
Private Letter from a Cioporal in a Regiment forming part
of the Expedition.
ADAWED GAL,
HERE I am in Chainy, and its rather hominous that, after all your jel-
lessy of Nancy, I should have been brought to Chuse-Ann; but that's
nayther here nor their, for I've only my duty to my kernel, which lays in a
nutshel. If I'd a been one of the unattached, it would not have signeyfied,
but the War Office is nothing but stone, as anybody may see, who looks at
it with half a high, and the Horse Guards is, by natur, as illumered as the
illumernatured clock at the top of it. But never mind; though Guvament
ssends my legs on a march that lasts from Jannivary to Deesember, my art
can stay in the deepot of your affexions. Yes, there, without the aid o'
barracks, it is regularly barrackaded. But I spose you'd like me to tell yer
something about Chainy and the Chainees. Well, yew no the plates called
the villa pattern, with three fellers on a bridge, looking as if they vus a goin
fishin-the vun vith a boatook, other vith a deal board, and the thurd vith
a cricket ball tied to the hend uv a walking stik. Nou, I dare say yew think
that's a correct drain of Chainees men and manners ; but, spoonies as they
are, I never seed 'em making such preshious basses of themselves, as they are
in all the plates yure muther has of 'em. Then the tree with the horanges,
is only to puff off the real Chainy, as they sells for two a penny in the streets;
because if they vus only half as big as the artist has made 'em they'd be
whoppers indeed, and the Chainees karacter is rather the other way; for
they're always whopt themselves, instead of being whoppers.
Ven I new I vus a going to Chainy, I took a number of Chambers ; I don't
meen that I highered a sweet of rooms, but I bort the Hinformation for the
People, treating (as they calls it, though one has to pay for the treat) of
Chainy. Akordin to the book, I find that the natives call Chainy the middle
country, and it really is among the middlins, for everything about it is werry
indifferent. The Great Wall runs so far that one can't say where it goes to,
vich is exakly the way with the troops, though it's ony in the long run that
they are anything like the wall, for they don't behave at all like bricks in any
other partickler. A good deal has been said about the sighs of the Grate
Wall of Chainy, and won says won thing, and won another; so that I've come
to the konklusion that it's just as broad as it's long, and that settles it. One
side of the place is bounded -by the Pacific; and I spose it's bathing in the
Pacific that makes the natives fight so preshusly shy of fighting. I hunder-
stand the hurth used to be a good deal given to hurthquaking; but the
ground has given up that game, and the quakin bisness is now dun by the
military, who are no great shakes after all, xsept in that rispect.
The natives say that Chainy is older than the deluge, but this must be a
delugion. At hall events it's not much like a place of the furst vater. I
think they make a mistake about the time when the flood happened, for they
were overrun by a tremendous great Khan, who plunged them into hot water,
and poured the cream of the Tartar troops all over them. This made such a
effervescence as never was; and as all the provinces was swamped, it's like
enuff they mistook the bursting out of this great Khan for the regular deluge.
The Hemperor is called the Brother of the Moon; and I shouldn't wander
if he's related in sum way, for' I think he's crack'd, which is a common
thing enuff in Chainy. They say he's the father of his people, and the
mother two, but I don't see how they make both of 'em apparent. The







364 THE COMIC ALMANAC. [1843.

Guvament robs the natives vith vun hand, and pitches into 'em vith the
other; so that betwixt being bamboozled and bambooed, they get a nice
time of it. They used to be werry klever in science, but they're losing
their hearts like winking; and though they don't paint particularly good
picters, they're great dabs at colours. Indeed, dying is the only thing they
seems to excel in, as the returns of their killed will prove, to anybody's
satisfakshun. As to ourselves, I've very little noose-hardly enuff to hang
a line upon. Of korse you hurd of the affair at the Bogue, and the pretty
Tilt we had with 'em but it was such a farce, that I thought of sending
the report to Messrs. TILT and BOGUE, for their Comic Allmyknack. The
knavy of the poor fellers is quite stationary, which means to say that it's
little better than brown paper; and as to their artillery, I don't believe their
gunpowder would be strong enuff to shake the nerves of an old washer-
woman. The soldiers all of 'em ware tails, and seem to be wery proud on
'em, for they always turn 'em to us directly they cum into akshun. Poor
Lin, who was to be the grate card, has turned out anything but a trump;
and I shouldn't wonder if he gets cut at last by a chop from the Hemperor.
The Chainees are werry proud of their feet, which I don't under at, con-
siderin that, in battle, they owe so much to 'em. The wumen's shoes are
so small that it hinterferes with rithmetic, and makes a foot only three or
four inches. It only shows how cramped they are in their hunderstandings.
I've urd it said that, sum day or another, the Chainees will adopt our abbits.
Only fancy the Hemperor in a coat down to his eels, and knee britches,
vitch, they say, will eventually be the long and the short of it. As to our
fashionable kustoms, they'd easy enuff fall into them, for I've seen 'em dance
at a ball in the most natural, manner.
But I must konklude ; for a Chainee regiment of 600 is cummin on, and
I'm ordered to relieve guard, with my six men, a quarter of an hour before
the time, so as to kill two burds with wun stone, by changing the sentries
and frightnin away the henemy.-Your dewoted MATHEW MUSKET.


THE COMPLETION OF THE TUNNEL.
THIS stupendous work is finished, and Wapping has reason to be proud of
such a truly wapping undertaking. Perhaps no enterprise ever had so much
cold water thrown upon it, and never was there a project which it seemed at
one time so difficult to go through with. The engineer has worked like a
horse, and has scarcely ever been out of the shaft.
The original shareholders, whose pockets were well drained, in fruitless
efforts to drain the tunnel, have now the satisfaction of once more running
through their property. For some time the ardour of the projectors was
damped by the works going on rather too swimmingly. When accidents
were every-day occurrences the Tunnel was a matter of interest; but since
the water has been effectually kept out, it has become a dry subject.
On more than one occasion the Company would have been swamped, in
spite of all hands being put to the pumps, if Government had not lent their
sucker. The funds, in fact, were at low-water mark long before the works
reached the same desirable point; and the more the Tunnel was set afloat
'he more were the shareholders aground in their undertaking.
But the perils are now past, and the Tunnel remains as a monument to
British enterprise. We should call it, perhaps, a pillar to the fame of the
engineer,,if it were not that a pillar is incomplete without two things, one
of which-the shaft-has been taken away, while the proprietors have long
since lost sight of the capital.







364 THE COMIC ALMANAC. [1843.

Guvament robs the natives vith vun hand, and pitches into 'em vith the
other; so that betwixt being bamboozled and bambooed, they get a nice
time of it. They used to be werry klever in science, but they're losing
their hearts like winking; and though they don't paint particularly good
picters, they're great dabs at colours. Indeed, dying is the only thing they
seems to excel in, as the returns of their killed will prove, to anybody's
satisfakshun. As to ourselves, I've very little noose-hardly enuff to hang
a line upon. Of korse you hurd of the affair at the Bogue, and the pretty
Tilt we had with 'em but it was such a farce, that I thought of sending
the report to Messrs. TILT and BOGUE, for their Comic Allmyknack. The
knavy of the poor fellers is quite stationary, which means to say that it's
little better than brown paper; and as to their artillery, I don't believe their
gunpowder would be strong enuff to shake the nerves of an old washer-
woman. The soldiers all of 'em ware tails, and seem to be wery proud on
'em, for they always turn 'em to us directly they cum into akshun. Poor
Lin, who was to be the grate card, has turned out anything but a trump;
and I shouldn't wonder if he gets cut at last by a chop from the Hemperor.
The Chainees are werry proud of their feet, which I don't under at, con-
siderin that, in battle, they owe so much to 'em. The wumen's shoes are
so small that it hinterferes with rithmetic, and makes a foot only three or
four inches. It only shows how cramped they are in their hunderstandings.
I've urd it said that, sum day or another, the Chainees will adopt our abbits.
Only fancy the Hemperor in a coat down to his eels, and knee britches,
vitch, they say, will eventually be the long and the short of it. As to our
fashionable kustoms, they'd easy enuff fall into them, for I've seen 'em dance
at a ball in the most natural, manner.
But I must konklude ; for a Chainee regiment of 600 is cummin on, and
I'm ordered to relieve guard, with my six men, a quarter of an hour before
the time, so as to kill two burds with wun stone, by changing the sentries
and frightnin away the henemy.-Your dewoted MATHEW MUSKET.


THE COMPLETION OF THE TUNNEL.
THIS stupendous work is finished, and Wapping has reason to be proud of
such a truly wapping undertaking. Perhaps no enterprise ever had so much
cold water thrown upon it, and never was there a project which it seemed at
one time so difficult to go through with. The engineer has worked like a
horse, and has scarcely ever been out of the shaft.
The original shareholders, whose pockets were well drained, in fruitless
efforts to drain the tunnel, have now the satisfaction of once more running
through their property. For some time the ardour of the projectors was
damped by the works going on rather too swimmingly. When accidents
were every-day occurrences the Tunnel was a matter of interest; but since
the water has been effectually kept out, it has become a dry subject.
On more than one occasion the Company would have been swamped, in
spite of all hands being put to the pumps, if Government had not lent their
sucker. The funds, in fact, were at low-water mark long before the works
reached the same desirable point; and the more the Tunnel was set afloat
'he more were the shareholders aground in their undertaking.
But the perils are now past, and the Tunnel remains as a monument to
British enterprise. We should call it, perhaps, a pillar to the fame of the
engineer,,if it were not that a pillar is incomplete without two things, one
of which-the shaft-has been taken away, while the proprietors have long
since lost sight of the capital.







J843.] JUNE.


THE CUP DAY AT ASCOT.

WELL, this is beautiful, I do declare!
The bustle makes the scene a perfect fair,
Only there's so much fraud with great and small,
That, at a race, there's nothing fair at all;
Now, clear the ground, that horse is sure to win!
What! that poor brute! it looks uncommon thin;
They call it thoroughbred, but all must own
The animal is more like thorough bone.
But, after all, its backers show their gumption,
The creature's in a galloping consumption;
And though for many months it cannot last,
It all the symptoms shows of going fast.
They're off. they're off! oh, what a slapping pace!
Here's the perfection of the human race.
That rider will be thrown, 'tis very plain,
The only chance now left him is the mane:
The race is over, and the sport is up;
We'll leave them to enjoy their stakes and cup.
Now for the wine-the hamper let's unpack,
The glasses can be ready in a crack.
Oh dear! look here! this is a sad to-do,
During the run the wine's been running too;
And shan't I get into a pretty scrape,
This borrow'd cloak is done for with the cape;
Of my best wine this is a pretty clearer,
I wish it were my cheaper, not Madeira.
Well, let us have a glass of port instead;
We can't, here's all the crust upon the bread.
'Tis useless now to grumble at our fate,
We came to Ascot for the cup and plate;
While to our lot it has but chanced to fall,
That we see nothing in them after all!



1. Lord Howe's victory, 1794.
The French, no doubt, had made a vow
To conquer-but they knew not How(e).
21. QUEEN VICTORIA proclaimed. The longest day.
The Queen proclaimed upon the longest day!
May this coincidence be not in vain;
But prove prophetic of her lengthen'd sway,
And to the longest day prolong her reign.







J843.] JUNE.


THE CUP DAY AT ASCOT.

WELL, this is beautiful, I do declare!
The bustle makes the scene a perfect fair,
Only there's so much fraud with great and small,
That, at a race, there's nothing fair at all;
Now, clear the ground, that horse is sure to win!
What! that poor brute! it looks uncommon thin;
They call it thoroughbred, but all must own
The animal is more like thorough bone.
But, after all, its backers show their gumption,
The creature's in a galloping consumption;
And though for many months it cannot last,
It all the symptoms shows of going fast.
They're off. they're off! oh, what a slapping pace!
Here's the perfection of the human race.
That rider will be thrown, 'tis very plain,
The only chance now left him is the mane:
The race is over, and the sport is up;
We'll leave them to enjoy their stakes and cup.
Now for the wine-the hamper let's unpack,
The glasses can be ready in a crack.
Oh dear! look here! this is a sad to-do,
During the run the wine's been running too;
And shan't I get into a pretty scrape,
This borrow'd cloak is done for with the cape;
Of my best wine this is a pretty clearer,
I wish it were my cheaper, not Madeira.
Well, let us have a glass of port instead;
We can't, here's all the crust upon the bread.
'Tis useless now to grumble at our fate,
We came to Ascot for the cup and plate;
While to our lot it has but chanced to fall,
That we see nothing in them after all!



1. Lord Howe's victory, 1794.
The French, no doubt, had made a vow
To conquer-but they knew not How(e).
21. QUEEN VICTORIA proclaimed. The longest day.
The Queen proclaimed upon the longest day!
May this coincidence be not in vain;
But prove prophetic of her lengthen'd sway,
And to the longest day prolong her reign.







THE COMIC ALMANAC.


THE CHIMNEY-SWEEPER'S LAMENT.
UPON my vord and honour I never know'd sich times,
The climbing-boys must emigrate, and go to other climes;
The Lords and Kemmins, and the Kveen-yes, she, and all, alas!
Has pass'd an act, the vich I call a werry pretty pass:
They've akshually made a law, vich says, or else implies,
Henceforth, in his profession, no chimney-sweep shall rise.
They've closed agin us all the chimneys-isn't it a shame?
How would the politicians like all to be served the same ?
Because if all the dirty vays of rising should be barr'd,
Then politicians on themselves would find it werry hard.
Vy take the law It must be owned the road's uncommon black,
By vich they werry often rise to sit upon the sack.
If clean straightforward paths had been the only ones allowed,
How many chancellors might still have swell'd the briefless crowd!
For dirty vays may often raise a knave that's keen and cool,
Who otherwise might get the sack, but not the sack of wool.
Oh! vot is to become on us, and vither shall we rush?
They tell us that ve mustn't sweep, and yet they bid us brush.
Its vatchful eye on all but us the public kindly keeps,
They've got Humane Societies for everything but sweeps
Mayhap because the soot upon our faces does perwail,
Society believes that we are not within its pale;
But never mind, I'll emigrate, and then I'll live at ease,
Though chimneys I'm forbid to sweep, at least I'll sweep the seas;
And of the natives to make friends I'll do my best to try,
But if they run, vot then ?-I'm used to see blacks fly.
Or else to China I vill go, indeed I do not joke,
To stop the trade in opium, by curing all the smoke.
'Tis true I love my native land; but then, agin, you see,
My lucky I'm obliged to cut, because it has cut me :
But now good bye, I must not waste more time in idle talks,
And since my future walk's chalk'd out-at once I'll walk my chalks.




WHAT'S TO BE DONE WITH THE PARISH 'PRENTICESP
Poon little Jim, so short and slim,
A sweep alone, before, would take him;
But since the law's new sweeping clause,
The parish must a grow-sir make him.


[1843.
















































Sr4enoe uwiei De .verm fornms.


^F^3?^-
; ^-^-'*-^










REMARKS ON THE WEATHER.
PERHArs the best method of ascertaining the fact of its being warm or
cold is to go out into the air; but if you are unable to do this, and a person
coming in from out of doors is seen to rub his hands, you may presume that
the atmosphere is chilly.
An infallible method of ascertaining whether it is wet is to watch the
puddles in the streets, and if you see them agitated you may conclude that
rain is descending.
I If there has been a frost at night you may look for ice in the morning,
and, in winter, if you have no thermometer, you may get some valuable
information from the state of your pitcher.
The rattling of tiles overhead indicates wind; and a descent of soot down
your chimney foretells rainy weather.
The approach of winter may generally be prognosticated by a general
display of Chesterfield Wrappers, at the doors of cheap tailors'-shops; but
when 25,000 straw bonnets are seen in linendrapers' windows, spring may be
confidently looked forward to.
When the water-carts are particularly.active you may expect rain; and if
a flash'of lightning is visible, prepare for thunder.
When you see the advertisement of a flower-show, it would be prudent to
provide yourself on the day named with an umbrella.
If your water has not come into your cistern, you may conclude there has
been frost, unless you happen to be in arrear with your rates, when the
phenomenon may be otherwise accounted for.


SCIENCE UNDER DIVERS FORMS.
Letter from a Passenger on Board the Submarine Steamer.
WELL, here we are, safe and sound at the bottom of the Bay of Biscay,
where we intend to sleep one night, for the purpose of testing the qualities
of the bed of the ocean, which consists, as you will suppose, of several sheets
of water, and plenty of wet blankets, with billows instead of pillows on the
top of it.
Not being able to keep my. head above water I determined on making a
bold plunge, and therefore took my passage in the submarine steamer, where
several others, who were, like myself, over head and ears, were anxious to
keep out of the way, and having sunk all my available capital, I thought it
better to sink myself by way of looking after it.
We have had a very delightful voyage, but we met on our way with some
very odd fish, who stared rather rudely in at our cabin windows, and a party
of lobsters looked exceedingly black as we passed very near to them. The
mermaids were much alarmed at first, but soon became reconciled to our
appearance, and, when we talked of weighing our anchor, they, with much
simplicity, offered us the use of their scales.
You are aware that a company is forming for the purpose of turning the
tide of emigration towards the bottom of the sea ; and if people can live under
water, they ought not, from mere motives of pride, to be above it. There will,
of course, be some difficulty in dealing with the natives, but we have taken
the precaution to treat with an influential oyster, who, however, keeps ex-
tremely close, and, if he will not manifest a little more openness, it is expected










REMARKS ON THE WEATHER.
PERHArs the best method of ascertaining the fact of its being warm or
cold is to go out into the air; but if you are unable to do this, and a person
coming in from out of doors is seen to rub his hands, you may presume that
the atmosphere is chilly.
An infallible method of ascertaining whether it is wet is to watch the
puddles in the streets, and if you see them agitated you may conclude that
rain is descending.
I If there has been a frost at night you may look for ice in the morning,
and, in winter, if you have no thermometer, you may get some valuable
information from the state of your pitcher.
The rattling of tiles overhead indicates wind; and a descent of soot down
your chimney foretells rainy weather.
The approach of winter may generally be prognosticated by a general
display of Chesterfield Wrappers, at the doors of cheap tailors'-shops; but
when 25,000 straw bonnets are seen in linendrapers' windows, spring may be
confidently looked forward to.
When the water-carts are particularly.active you may expect rain; and if
a flash'of lightning is visible, prepare for thunder.
When you see the advertisement of a flower-show, it would be prudent to
provide yourself on the day named with an umbrella.
If your water has not come into your cistern, you may conclude there has
been frost, unless you happen to be in arrear with your rates, when the
phenomenon may be otherwise accounted for.


SCIENCE UNDER DIVERS FORMS.
Letter from a Passenger on Board the Submarine Steamer.
WELL, here we are, safe and sound at the bottom of the Bay of Biscay,
where we intend to sleep one night, for the purpose of testing the qualities
of the bed of the ocean, which consists, as you will suppose, of several sheets
of water, and plenty of wet blankets, with billows instead of pillows on the
top of it.
Not being able to keep my. head above water I determined on making a
bold plunge, and therefore took my passage in the submarine steamer, where
several others, who were, like myself, over head and ears, were anxious to
keep out of the way, and having sunk all my available capital, I thought it
better to sink myself by way of looking after it.
We have had a very delightful voyage, but we met on our way with some
very odd fish, who stared rather rudely in at our cabin windows, and a party
of lobsters looked exceedingly black as we passed very near to them. The
mermaids were much alarmed at first, but soon became reconciled to our
appearance, and, when we talked of weighing our anchor, they, with much
simplicity, offered us the use of their scales.
You are aware that a company is forming for the purpose of turning the
tide of emigration towards the bottom of the sea ; and if people can live under
water, they ought not, from mere motives of pride, to be above it. There will,
of course, be some difficulty in dealing with the natives, but we have taken
the precaution to treat with an influential oyster, who, however, keeps ex-
tremely close, and, if he will not manifest a little more openness, it is expected







THE COMIC ALMANAC.


that war to the knife must be resorted to. We at first anticipated some
hostility from the sharks, but, as we purposely abstained from bringing any
lawyers among the first settlers, we have now very little fear of a collision on
account of conflicting interests.
The appearance of our vessel has caused a considerable sensation among
the inhabitants of the ocean, but we have followed the plan of the early
emigrants to strange parts, and endeavoured to propitiate the various fish
by trifling presents. We threw a box of antibilious pills to a large party of
Cockles, and we pitched overboard a quantity of false collars to a group of
salmon, whose gills seemed sadly out of condition. We also distributed
copies of Crabbe and Shelley to as many of the crustaceous fish as approached
near enough to our vessel to enable us to do so; while to a dog-fish we pre-
sented a fine specimen of bark, which he did not appear very much to relish.
We met on our way down with one of the white sharks, which are known to
be the terror of mariners. The creature stared at us with both its eyes, and,
while we maintained an awful silence, the shark seemed to respond to our.
muteness by holding its jaw in the most alarming manner: the extended
cavity of its frightful mouth presented a harrowing exhibition, and it seemed
as if, like other exhibitions, it might be open from ten to four," and then it
would have been ten to one if we had escaped from being drawn into it.
The tremendous teeth seemed clearly to indicate that there would be "no
admittance except on business," and we at length sheered off from sheer
timidity.
If we can only manage to get up a colony down here, there will be plenty
of patronage at our disposal; and if we are allowed the appointment of a
bishop, where can there be a finer see than that which is here open to him ?
I have already issued prospectuses of a grand Oceanic Agricultural Associa-
tion, to be established for the purpose of regularly ploughing the deep, and
dividing the proceeds among the shareholders. I state, in my advertisement,
that, as we know the sea has produced sea-weed, we may reasonably expect
that other vegetable matter may be reared, and as irrigation is the chief
expense of agriculture, the saving in the article of water alone must keep
the thing afloat-to say nothing of what will naturally flow into the coffers
of the company.
I must now conclude my letter, for the vessel is about to start; and, as
"tide and time wait for no man," you will perceive that I am so far tied to
time as to be unable to add more than that I am
Your right down friend at the bottom,
DAVID DRINKWATEB.

P.S.-We have not yet visited the extensive locker of Davy Jones,
Esquire, but we intend very shortly doing so.


30. Penn died, 1718.
'Tis very obvious that science then
Had not found out the everlasting pen.


































































THE TAX UPON PROPERTY







JULY. 369


^ i 's'^.'


-CZ


EFFECTS OF THE INCOME-TAX.
EVERYBODY is beginning to draw in to meet the necessity for pulling out.
Tradesmen are reducing their expenses in all directions, and a respectable
grocer has just dismissed an assistant who suited him to a T. A cook-shop
boy, who used to be kept purposely to carry out the provisions to the customers,
has been sent away, in order to enable the proprietor to carry out the provisions
of the income tax. A large linendrapery house in the Westminster Road has
cut off "a young man," who is thus thrown, as it were, as a burden on the rest
of the community.
Individuals in a respectable sphere of life, who could formerly keep a page,
have been obliged to turn over a new leaf; and it is a positive fact that a
Conservative peer intends, in the ensuing Session, putting down a Brougham.
But it is not only among old and established interests that the burden will
be felt, for it is ascertained beyond doubt that the boys will be alarming suf-
ferers. The toffey dealers have already commenced manufacturing an inferior
article, which is being palmed off upon the juveniles as the genuine Everton.
We have personally analysed a piece of Albert rock, under the new system,
and we have discovered an increased proportion of sand in its composition.
It is also a lamentable fact that a baked potato man has stopped up-we hope
not permanently-one of the chimneys of his apparatus, besides extinguishing
one of the fine lanterns with which it is adorned-a piece of retrenchment
that will fall first on the oilman, and ultimately on the whale-fishing interests.
An influential publican has shockingly reduced his only potboy, and the
unhappy lad is walking about the streets on a salary fourper cent. under that
of last year-a miserable victim to the income-tax, and a martyr (of course) to
Tory ascendancy.
Respectable families, who never before considered the matter worth a thought,
are looking narrowly to the candle-ends, giving, it is true, a momentary impulse
to the trade in save-alls, but the flush is feverish, and will, of course, be fol-
lowed by depression. The perquisites thus lost, by a stoppage in the kitchen-
stuff commerce, can only be made up by the servants taking it out of their
masters' bones, wnich used formerly to be abandoned to the grubbers, who
must in future look for grub in some other direction.
The penny-a-liners have also been lowered, in order to enable some of the
newspaper proprietors to pay the income-tax, but it is expected this reduction
will be counterbalanced by the increase in the number of cases of real distress,
and the other raw articles which form the staple of paragraphs.







JULY. 369


^ i 's'^.'


-CZ


EFFECTS OF THE INCOME-TAX.
EVERYBODY is beginning to draw in to meet the necessity for pulling out.
Tradesmen are reducing their expenses in all directions, and a respectable
grocer has just dismissed an assistant who suited him to a T. A cook-shop
boy, who used to be kept purposely to carry out the provisions to the customers,
has been sent away, in order to enable the proprietor to carry out the provisions
of the income tax. A large linendrapery house in the Westminster Road has
cut off "a young man," who is thus thrown, as it were, as a burden on the rest
of the community.
Individuals in a respectable sphere of life, who could formerly keep a page,
have been obliged to turn over a new leaf; and it is a positive fact that a
Conservative peer intends, in the ensuing Session, putting down a Brougham.
But it is not only among old and established interests that the burden will
be felt, for it is ascertained beyond doubt that the boys will be alarming suf-
ferers. The toffey dealers have already commenced manufacturing an inferior
article, which is being palmed off upon the juveniles as the genuine Everton.
We have personally analysed a piece of Albert rock, under the new system,
and we have discovered an increased proportion of sand in its composition.
It is also a lamentable fact that a baked potato man has stopped up-we hope
not permanently-one of the chimneys of his apparatus, besides extinguishing
one of the fine lanterns with which it is adorned-a piece of retrenchment
that will fall first on the oilman, and ultimately on the whale-fishing interests.
An influential publican has shockingly reduced his only potboy, and the
unhappy lad is walking about the streets on a salary fourper cent. under that
of last year-a miserable victim to the income-tax, and a martyr (of course) to
Tory ascendancy.
Respectable families, who never before considered the matter worth a thought,
are looking narrowly to the candle-ends, giving, it is true, a momentary impulse
to the trade in save-alls, but the flush is feverish, and will, of course, be fol-
lowed by depression. The perquisites thus lost, by a stoppage in the kitchen-
stuff commerce, can only be made up by the servants taking it out of their
masters' bones, wnich used formerly to be abandoned to the grubbers, who
must in future look for grub in some other direction.
The penny-a-liners have also been lowered, in order to enable some of the
newspaper proprietors to pay the income-tax, but it is expected this reduction
will be counterbalanced by the increase in the number of cases of real distress,
and the other raw articles which form the staple of paragraphs.






THE COMIC ALMANAC.


AIR-UM SCARE-UM TRAVELLING.
" WHo's for the excursion round the moon F
Here's the Original Fly Balloon.' "
Is it this that calls
At the top of St. Paul's,
Where I'm to take up my wife and babby P"
"No, sir, it's not ours ;
We only touch at the towers
Of Westminster Abbey."

We stop at the Great Bear,
To take in air;
Then at once, without waiting at all, we fly on,
In hopes of being in time to hear
Some of the music of the sphere,
Accompanied by the band of Orion.
What a funny sensation it is the clouds to enter:
Oh, don't you know the reason why
You feel rather comic when up in the sky P
'Tis caused by your distance from gravity's centre.

But here's the Zodiac, where we dine,
The Bull or the Lion is the sign;
To stop at Aquarius does not answer,
But we call to-day at the Crab, if we Can-sir.
Here's a lawyer wants to be starting soon,
To watch the action of the moon;
A barrister wishes much to know
If a place is vacant, that he may go
To study the laws of the stars' rotation,
With them keep pace,
As they roll through space,
And join their circuit in the long vacation.

The day of railways will be o'er,
And steam will be esteem'd no more,
When the result is seen
Of the experiment of Mr. Green,
Who says he can, as a matter of course,
In a balloon the Atlantic cross;
And, by way of proving he can,
He shows us a part of his plan,
Which looked, in miniature, very neat,
At the Polytechnic in Regent Street,
And answered, the truth to tell,
Uncommonly well,
As far as it went; but, the fact to say,
It went but a very little way.


















































- I-j-L ?f:




















Air-urn Sca~ro-urA TravgJ.I1'in







1843-] AIR-UtM SCARE-UM TRAVELLING.
No one could doubt the success of the notion,
If Hanover Square
One might compare
To the wide Atlantic Ocean.
It's a very fine thing,
To take hold of a string
Attached to a pretty toy balloon,
Guiding it easily either way,
And undertaking to say
The Atlantic may be traversed soon,
By similar means;
Which will be credited by men
When all the world are Greens,
But not till then!




TAKING OF NINGPO.

WHEN Ningpo fell, it was, in fact,
To the Chinese an awful stunner;
They fled in ranks so closely pack'd
As to remind one of Co-runner.




VICTORY OF GENERAL SALE.

IT was enough-oh! was it not ?
To turn with fright the Indians pale,
When knock'd down in an awful lot,
Without reserve, by General Sale.




OVERLAND MAIL ARRIVED FROM INDIA.

I REALLY cannot understand
How in its speed there's aught to brag on,
When the mail journeys overland,
Convey'd from India by a Wagho(r)n.


BB2






AUGUST.


GARDENING DIRECTIONS FOR AUGUST.
BLow off dust from plants in flower-using the mouth for the
more delicate sorts, and taking the bellows for those that are of
stronger constitution. Pull back ivy from adjacent gardens, and
train up against your own wall, with pieces of old waistcoating.
For borderings, you may now resort freely to the planting of
oyster-shells, which you can procure in large quantities from the
boys, after the grottos are demolished. It is not advisable to have
recourse to box, though, if you have planted it very close in the pre-
vious season, you may fill up the spaces that you will now find,
with the oyster-shells. They are not so liable to be attacked by
the grubs, and the cats do not displace them so readily by running
over them.

THE LONG VACATION.
PooR briefless one! thy furrowed face
For thy profession shows thy fitness;
And in its parchment lines we trace,
Too plainly, These indentures witness.'
Thy gown, thy bag, and all around,
Bespeak thine utter desolation;
Thy purse would lank and void be found-
Yes, all proclaims the long vacation.
Thy voice in court is always mute;
For known to all thy friends the fact is,
That, to thy melancholy flute,
Thou dost confine thy chamber practice.
They think thy clerk must sure enjoy
A sinecure-they much mistake;
They little know the wretched boy
Both cleans thy boots, and cooks thy steak.
Thy friends predicted unto thee
A judgeship; pray excuse my broaching
A theme that must unpleasant be,
Though to the bench thou art approaching.
Be of good cheer! perhaps, at last,
Fate may with some appointment bless thee,
And all thy present trials past,
In "brief authority" still dress thee.






AUGUST.


GARDENING DIRECTIONS FOR AUGUST.
BLow off dust from plants in flower-using the mouth for the
more delicate sorts, and taking the bellows for those that are of
stronger constitution. Pull back ivy from adjacent gardens, and
train up against your own wall, with pieces of old waistcoating.
For borderings, you may now resort freely to the planting of
oyster-shells, which you can procure in large quantities from the
boys, after the grottos are demolished. It is not advisable to have
recourse to box, though, if you have planted it very close in the pre-
vious season, you may fill up the spaces that you will now find,
with the oyster-shells. They are not so liable to be attacked by
the grubs, and the cats do not displace them so readily by running
over them.

THE LONG VACATION.
PooR briefless one! thy furrowed face
For thy profession shows thy fitness;
And in its parchment lines we trace,
Too plainly, These indentures witness.'
Thy gown, thy bag, and all around,
Bespeak thine utter desolation;
Thy purse would lank and void be found-
Yes, all proclaims the long vacation.
Thy voice in court is always mute;
For known to all thy friends the fact is,
That, to thy melancholy flute,
Thou dost confine thy chamber practice.
They think thy clerk must sure enjoy
A sinecure-they much mistake;
They little know the wretched boy
Both cleans thy boots, and cooks thy steak.
Thy friends predicted unto thee
A judgeship; pray excuse my broaching
A theme that must unpleasant be,
Though to the bench thou art approaching.
Be of good cheer! perhaps, at last,
Fate may with some appointment bless thee,
And all thy present trials past,
In "brief authority" still dress thee.












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Show of Hands for a Liberal Candidate.


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SHOW OF HANDS FOR A LIBERAL CANDIDATE.
THE borough is in commotion; the public spirit of the place, which is cold
without excitement, has become warm with; and every one, with the under-
standing of an infant, is in arms for one or the other of the candidates.
The bill-stickers are beginning to stick up for the different parties to the
approaching contest, and a linendraper has cut his principles to ribbons by
selling his favours to both sides. The Liberal candidate has just come into the
town, and has taken an oath that he will not spend a shilling in the contest;
so that, unless his agents understand business better than he does, his return
.to Parliament is out of the question; but his return to the place from whence
he came would be the wisest step possible.
The Tory candidate has taken another course, and all the voters in his in-
terest are reeling drunk about the streets, prepared to fight, or in fact to do
anything but to stand up for him.
The nomination took place yesterday, when the show of hands was decidedly
in favour of the Liberal; but, on the Tory being proposed, there was an exten-
sive show of cabbage-stalks, one of which was transplanted into the eye of the
honourable candidate. Most of the hands that were held up had something
upon the nail; and it is generally rumoured that all the ten-pounders were
loaded to the muzzle, at a dinner given by a committee-man from London, on
the popular side, who ran away with the money entrusted to him to pay the
bill, rather than damage the good. cause by letting in a proof of agency. He
preferred, like a true patriot, letting in the landlord.
The Corn Laws are, of course, the subject of much difference of opinion;
and one of the candidates is in favour of a sliding scale, while the other declares
that skates are the only things that ought to come in upon it. He expressed
also his conviction that we have no less an authority than that of Lord Nelson
for resisting, and even for evading the fixed duty; "for," he exclaimed, "were
not these the last words of the gallant hero-' England expects every man to do
his duty'?-which is equivalent to a strong recommendation to every man 'to
do' the authorities who collect the duty at the custom-house."
The Income Tax has caused an immense sensation in the borough, and the
blind beggar who stands at the corner of the street, who evidently sees the
matter in its true light, is indignant at having to expose the amount of his
earnings. He says it is an immoral law, for it places a tax on the offerings of
benevolence; but he admits that the Tariff offers him some equivalent, by let-
ting in timber at a lower rate, and giving buoyancy to the trade in lucifers.
Many declare they do not know what their income is, and on being told they
must find it out, reply that they certainly cannot find it at home; while others,
when called on for a return of what they have made, ask for a return of what
they have lost, a query by which the assessor is generally much mystified.
Moore and Murphy have sent back their papers without filling them up, but in
answer to the demand for an account of their last year's profits, have sent
copies of their respective almanacks, in every line of which "no prophets is
glaringly written.








374 THE COMIC ALMANAC. [1843.

Our Liberal candidate speaks very plainly on the subject, and declares that
he would rather see his constituents without any incomes at all, than that they
should be liable to the odious measure. His views on the Tariff are of the
same bold and startling character. He denounces the Government for letting
in more asses, and plainly tells the electors that they ought to stand up for
themselves, and 'assert the sufficiency of native asses for all reasonable
purposes.
The Tory has been trying the old game of kissing the children, and chatting
with the wives, but the independent electors are not to be gammoned in this
manner, as they formerly used to,be. He nursed Mrs. Snooks's twins for half
an hour yesterday, and having had them so long in his arms, he, of course,
spoke the truth when he said he knew what it must be to have a young family
on one's hands, and how tery glad the parents must be to get them off as soon
as possible. He has also bought cats enough,,at ten pounds a head, to stock
an island the size of St. Kitts; but ten to one if the voters come to the scratch
after all, and if they do there will be the clause in the new act that will be sure
to catch hold of him. The election will proceed to-morrow, and arrangements
have been made with an extensive rubbish carter to bring up the out-voters,
who are expectedto prove regular out-and-outers in favour of the Liberal. The
Tory is compelled to resort to the truck system, on account of his opponent
having taken all the other modes of conveyance, and there is no doubt that ta
vehicle for party purposes will be made of it.
The hustings have just come to the earth with a frightful crash, the scaffold-
ing having given way just as a poll was being loudly demanded. The confusion
was, of course, dreadful. An unbending Whig fell on to the bald head of a
Tory; and a stickler for the "five points," which are always in his mouth, re-
ceived between his teeth the end of a walking-stick. A free-trader, who
expresses openly his antipathy to anything in the shape of protection, was
fortunately saved by a plank falling in a slanting direction over him; and a
well-known participator in the late strike got a severe blow on both arms,
*which must keep the hands unemployed for a long period. The rival candi-
dates are being looked for among the rubbish, and a man is at work with a
spade, so that it may be supposed their situation is somewhat iWfra dig. at
present. Both must have received a few plumpers, and the state of their
respective polls must be rather unsatisfactory.

7. Hammersmith Suspension Bridge, 1825.,
The-bridge is hung in chain extremely neat,
The workmen's arduous task, 'tis true, is ended,
And uniformity is made complete,
For-like the bridge-the profits are suspended.

15. A Treaty concluded between the Danish and British
governments, relative to the passage of the Sound. The
affair was managed by means of Mr. Curtis's voice-con-
ductor.








1843.] SEPTEMBER. 375






















A POETICAL REPORT OF THE DOVER CROPPING CASE.

IN Dover jail two actors were locked up to wait for bail:
They had committed a most grave offence againstt common sense;
For, out of empty boxes,
Pit, and galleries,
They hoped one of the cunningest of Foxes
Would pay their salaries.
But this was not to be;
And so, to settle matters in a crack,
They both resolved, if they fell short, that he,
At least, should have his whack.
The managers' exchequer, it was known,
Was one of those allowed by all to be
To cash related in the same degree
As blood to stone.
The two comedians demanded cash!
The manager, (his plan was rather rash),
Upon their absence of attraction,
His actors did begin to twit,
When it was proved to more than satisfaction
That two of them, at least, could make a hit. *
"Stop," "stop I" exclaim'd the manager, enraged,
"Nor plant your weighty blows upon my nose;
You for the heavy business are not both engaged."
But now in Dover jail confined,
To pass the time while bail is coming,
They both for singing feel inclined,
And well-known tunes they set to humming;
But soon the jailor, passing by, prepares
To make them stop their singing,
And, as they wont, a pair of scissors bringing,
He comes, and straight cuts short their hairsr.
"'Twas right, no doubt," said Justice Lout,
But Graham thought" quite t'other;"
And so the jailer bundled out.
Nor stopped to tell his mother.








1843.] SEPTEMBER. 375






















A POETICAL REPORT OF THE DOVER CROPPING CASE.

IN Dover jail two actors were locked up to wait for bail:
They had committed a most grave offence againstt common sense;
For, out of empty boxes,
Pit, and galleries,
They hoped one of the cunningest of Foxes
Would pay their salaries.
But this was not to be;
And so, to settle matters in a crack,
They both resolved, if they fell short, that he,
At least, should have his whack.
The managers' exchequer, it was known,
Was one of those allowed by all to be
To cash related in the same degree
As blood to stone.
The two comedians demanded cash!
The manager, (his plan was rather rash),
Upon their absence of attraction,
His actors did begin to twit,
When it was proved to more than satisfaction
That two of them, at least, could make a hit. *
"Stop," "stop I" exclaim'd the manager, enraged,
"Nor plant your weighty blows upon my nose;
You for the heavy business are not both engaged."
But now in Dover jail confined,
To pass the time while bail is coming,
They both for singing feel inclined,
And well-known tunes they set to humming;
But soon the jailor, passing by, prepares
To make them stop their singing,
And, as they wont, a pair of scissors bringing,
He comes, and straight cuts short their hairsr.
"'Twas right, no doubt," said Justice Lout,
But Graham thought" quite t'other;"
And so the jailer bundled out.
Nor stopped to tell his mother.






376 THE COMIC ALMANAC. [1843.


INFANT EDUCATION.
BABY-LONIAN UNIVERSITY.
THE grand aim of modern infant education is to make learning
very attractive; to invest Lindley Murray with a magnetic power
over the pupil's mind, and dress Dilworth in an adhesive plaster
that shall cause all the little boys in the kingdom to stick to it. If
Mavor's Spelling can be converted into a magic spell, there is a hope
that the infant population may be charmed into an appreciation of
ba, be, bi, bo, bu; and such will be the progress of education that we
may have, before the expiration of a century, universities at which
the wet nurse and the professor may be alike required to attend
to the physical and intellectual wants of the infant students. A
Bachelor of Arts will not only be entitled to the distinction of B.A.,
but may add the letters B.Y. to complete his description. It has
already been suggested that philosophy should be taught by toys,
and it will be easy to give a lecture on the laws of motion, illustrated
by a game at marbles, or to explain the theory of equations by re-
ference to the pleasing pastime of nine-pins.
The Pens Asinorun, that has puzzled many of our modern youth,
will be much more easily overcome when a real donkey-ride is
resorted to; and the difficult process of looking for the square root
will be greatly facilitated by a spade, when the student finds him-
self sent forth to dig in the garden of science.
Already has the worthy Mr. Wilderspin introduced, in many
places, the agreeable system of making fun of school; and if he
would only consent to put his infant pupils into the fantastical caps
and gowns which are worn at the universities, the joke would be
still richer than it is at present. "-To that complexion we shall
come at last;" and if education is to be made game of, the sooner
we go "the whole hog," the better.
The following is an extract from a report that is intended to illus-
trate the enormous success of the Wilderspin system:-
Teacher. What is this I hold in my hand ?
Children. A piece of glass.
Teacher. What can you do with it ?
Children. Scrape slate pencil.
Teacher. What else P what can your eyes do with it P
Children. Look at it.







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INFANT EDUCATION.


Teacher. If you put it to your eye can you see through it ?
Children. Not if you shut your eye.
Teacher. Can you break glass ?
Children. We'll try (one child breaks a window).
Teacher. Then glass is brittle ?
Children. Rather.
Teacher. Will the shutter break ?
Children. We are not going to try that.
Teacher. (Striking the shutter violently). Now, what have I done ?
Children. Made a great noise, and hurt your own knuckles.
Teacher. What is wax ?
Children. A soft substance.
Teacher. Is there any other sort of wax that is not soft ?
Children. Yes, the whacks you give us when we don't know our
lessons.
Teacher. What does a cow give us ?
Children. Nothing.
Teacher. Well, what does the milkman give us ?,
Children. He gives us nothing; we buy it.
Teacher. What do we buy from him ?
Children. Milk and water.
Teacher. What's this ?
Children. A frying-pan.
Teacher. What use does your mother make of it ?
Children. She sometimes beats father about the head with it.
Teacher. Has your mother got a mangle ?
Children. No, she's sold it.
Teacher. What colour is the orange ?
Children. Orange colour.
Teacher. How large is this orange which I hold in my hand ?
Children. As big again as a half.
Teacher. How long will oranges keep in this climate P
Children. Not a day, when you get hold of them.
Teacher. That will do; you may go home.
Children. Thankee, sir.






OCTOBER.


[1843.


INDIAN RUBBER.
THE Society for washing the physical blackamoor morally white,
and altering the complexion of Indian society, has sent out 1000
copies of Major A. on Short Whist," in the hope that a friendly
rubber may do more towards rubbing off the rust of barbarism than
any other hitherto-attempted experiment. It is thought by the
Society in question that, as among Europeans those who are called
blacklegs generally succeed best at cards, the niggers, who have the
advantage of being black all over, may compete successfully with
the most accomplished member of Crockford's. The reports on the
subject are not yet very encouraging, for though there can be but
one odd trick in the course of a single deal, the Indian disciples of
Major A. perform a series of the very oddest tricks all throughthe
game; and when their instructor endeavoured to make them under-
stand, by signs, that clubs were led, they followed suit in good
earnest, and began scoring away at a tremendous rate with their
tomahawks. It is feared that the idea of teaching the blacks by
the card must be discarded. The only game for which they show a
natural inclination is cribbage, at which their hands are always
excellent.
Among the observations and notes of the emissaries sent out by
the Society, we find it recorded, as a curious fact in natural history,
that, though perfectly black in the hand, the Indians have all the
characteristics of the light-fingered population of this country.
It is thought impossible to wean the natives at once from the
eccentric habit of scalping; but it has. been ingeniously suggested
that the propensity may be directed to proper objects, and it is in
contemplation to put pots of porter before one of the tribes, when,
if they proceed as usual to decapitation, leaving nothing but the
headless beer, it will not at all signify.


STOPPAGE OF THE MILLS.
Indeed, I never saw the like,
Our minds with wonder it must fill,
Though mills ensue when people strike,
The strikes have stopped full many a mill.

29. Raleigh beheaded. You don't say so ? raly!






OCTOBER.


[1843.


INDIAN RUBBER.
THE Society for washing the physical blackamoor morally white,
and altering the complexion of Indian society, has sent out 1000
copies of Major A. on Short Whist," in the hope that a friendly
rubber may do more towards rubbing off the rust of barbarism than
any other hitherto-attempted experiment. It is thought by the
Society in question that, as among Europeans those who are called
blacklegs generally succeed best at cards, the niggers, who have the
advantage of being black all over, may compete successfully with
the most accomplished member of Crockford's. The reports on the
subject are not yet very encouraging, for though there can be but
one odd trick in the course of a single deal, the Indian disciples of
Major A. perform a series of the very oddest tricks all throughthe
game; and when their instructor endeavoured to make them under-
stand, by signs, that clubs were led, they followed suit in good
earnest, and began scoring away at a tremendous rate with their
tomahawks. It is feared that the idea of teaching the blacks by
the card must be discarded. The only game for which they show a
natural inclination is cribbage, at which their hands are always
excellent.
Among the observations and notes of the emissaries sent out by
the Society, we find it recorded, as a curious fact in natural history,
that, though perfectly black in the hand, the Indians have all the
characteristics of the light-fingered population of this country.
It is thought impossible to wean the natives at once from the
eccentric habit of scalping; but it has. been ingeniously suggested
that the propensity may be directed to proper objects, and it is in
contemplation to put pots of porter before one of the tribes, when,
if they proceed as usual to decapitation, leaving nothing but the
headless beer, it will not at all signify.


STOPPAGE OF THE MILLS.
Indeed, I never saw the like,
Our minds with wonder it must fill,
Though mills ensue when people strike,
The strikes have stopped full many a mill.

29. Raleigh beheaded. You don't say so ? raly!

















































































The Height of Improvement- putting up the Shutters


I .






1843.] 379

THE HEIGHT OF IMPROVEMENT.

WHEEm will improvement stop ?
Oh! why will tradesmen soar
Wildly from floor to floor,
Instead of sticking to the shop ?
Glass
Never, till now, was brought to such a pass.
If Smith should pull his shop-front down,
Straightway at demolition's work goes neighbour Brown.
Some facts disclosed of late
Have opened people's eyes a little,
Showing that glass concerns are sometimes brittle,
And houses may be dished that put their strength in plate.
It would be well .enough if all were fair,
And, like the windows, quite upon the square;
But 'tis not so,
Because we know
Appearances are seldom worth a pin;
Windows and doors immense
Are often a pretence
For letting people in.
Such large concerns
Have sometimes small returns;
And when into a scrape they fall,
The creditors look black,
And want their money back,
Or else their goods, of which there's no return at all.
'Tis wonderful, but true,
People are caught by the delusion;
'Tis odd that glass in such profusion
Is not at once seen through.
How vain to cut a temporary dash,
If, after all,
The windows fall,
With a,tremendous smash;
But still they'find a falling off in gains,
Who take less panes.






THE COMIC ALMANACK.


In walking down a London street,
Our gaze what strange announcements meet!
One would suppose,
From many a placard, when you've read it,
That bankruptcy were quite a credit:
And so it is for what one knows
"A Bankrupt's Stock !-look here !
The premises we needs must clear!"
And this is often true;
For clear the premises they do.

And when to carry all before them they're inclined,
They sometimes take good care there's nothing left behind
That assignees can take,
A dividend to make.
And when their books are brought
Before the Court,
Their ledgers to explain
Would puzzle one professing leger-demain.
If shop enlargement should proceed
Beyond its present height,
Some new invention we shall need
For shutting up at night.
The mania did begin
In building palaces for selling gin;
But the infection's regularly caught
By tradesmen now of every sort:
We soon shall see
Tripe from gilt columns hung,
Or sausages festooned and slung
From cornices of richest filigree;
Liver, illumined by the strongest lights,
Will tempt the passer-by at nights;
In mirrors, whose reflection
Is skilfully on all sides thrown.
For general inspection
Hap'orths of cats' meat will be shown.
But here we needs must stop,
Quite beaten in the race;
With the extravagances of the shop
Imagination can't keep pace!







1843.] NOVEMBER. 381



















THE RIGHT OF SEARCH.
COME, turn out your pockets, and empty your purse,
Produce your account-books, your income to show;
If embarrassed, exposure will make matters worse,
And perhaps 'twill be better the sooner you go.
On the margin of ruin suppose that you stand,
Oh say, man of trade, can it matter a pin
If prying commissioners lend you a hand,
To the gulf ihat's beneath you, to tumble you in!
Then out with your ledger; 'tis true that you owe
Unto the assessor himself some hard cash;
But perhaps, after all, it is right he should know,
And sell you up first, lest he lose by your smash.
With America lately we've had a great fuss,
About right of search, and the boundary line;
But at home, in exerting the right upon us,
To keep within bounds the assessors decline.
Then do not discourage a neighbour who'd pry;
For though for awhile his design you may baulk,
He'll be certain to know your concerns by-and-by,
For e'en the discreetest assessor will talk.
Though you lose by your business, oh why should you care,
If the fact is presented to every one's view?
For if your account-books no profit declare,
Though it's nothing to others-it's nothing to you.







1843.] NOVEMBER. 381



















THE RIGHT OF SEARCH.
COME, turn out your pockets, and empty your purse,
Produce your account-books, your income to show;
If embarrassed, exposure will make matters worse,
And perhaps 'twill be better the sooner you go.
On the margin of ruin suppose that you stand,
Oh say, man of trade, can it matter a pin
If prying commissioners lend you a hand,
To the gulf ihat's beneath you, to tumble you in!
Then out with your ledger; 'tis true that you owe
Unto the assessor himself some hard cash;
But perhaps, after all, it is right he should know,
And sell you up first, lest he lose by your smash.
With America lately we've had a great fuss,
About right of search, and the boundary line;
But at home, in exerting the right upon us,
To keep within bounds the assessors decline.
Then do not discourage a neighbour who'd pry;
For though for awhile his design you may baulk,
He'll be certain to know your concerns by-and-by,
For e'en the discreetest assessor will talk.
Though you lose by your business, oh why should you care,
If the fact is presented to every one's view?
For if your account-books no profit declare,
Though it's nothing to others-it's nothing to you.






THE COMIC ALMANAC.


SOCIALISMo-"NEW HARMONY."

OH, Socialism is a pretty thing
For bards to sing:
And Harmony's a title worth some guineas,
To take in ninnies;
And make them fancy that a place which revels
In such a name as Harmony," must be
A spot where men like angels all agree,
Instead of quarrelling, as they do, like devils.
The harmony of such a place
Is thorough base!
They've everything in common, so they say;
Even not uncommon wives: perchance they may;
And, if the principle they carry through,
The babies may be sometimes common, too;
Making it puzzling, rather,
For some of them to find their father.
Of goods there is community,
Leading, of course, to unity;
If four-and-twenty Socialists require,
At the same time, the kitchen fire,
A chop to fry,
Who shall to any one the right deny ?
For Owen says that every man,
In his community, shall use the frying-pan,
Just when and where, and how he may require.
So brotherly love
Permits him to shove
All who impede him, from (or into, perhaps) the fir
And then, how very strange
Their labour they exchange!
The cobbler who woldd like a dish
Of fish,
Goes to the fishmonger and heels a shoe,
Then carries off a sole or two.
The lawyer wants a coat-a decent fit;
To pay the tailor's bill
He need but make the tailor's will,
Or serve him'with the copy of a writ.


[1843.











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NEW HARMONY All Owin'- No payin.






SOCIALISM--" NEW HARMONY."


A comic singer wants a brilliant ring !
He takes it, and begins to sing
A comic song,
Proportionably long;
And when of stanzas there are quantum suff,
Of his own labour he's exchanged enough;
Thus, by a due exertion of his wits,
He with the jeweller may soon.cry quits.
"'Tis true, 'tis pity; pity 'tis 'tis true,"
That when the Socialists their plans endeavour
To put in force, although successful never,
Yet, in one sense, they of it make a do:"
Their landlord they would gladly pay,
If he, to take his rent,
In labour were content:
But as he wont do that, they run away.
It is a sect, I vow,
That's much run after now;
And Socialists are followed more
Than ever they had been before.
It's rather funny
That they who rail at cash as worst of human curses,
Should, out of other people's purses,
Take so much money.
Some think that honesty requires
All to their means should limit their desires;
But Socialism rather leans
To measuring its wants by other people's means.
Brotherly love may be all very well in its way,
But one would rather avoid its display,
When the warmth of affection
Is shown in a predilection
(To Socialists often known)
Of treating other folk's goods as their own.
But now we bid adieu to Mr. Owen,
Who very long the game had carried on;
Three times he set it-" going, going, going,"
And, like himself, knock'd down at last-'tis gone !


1843.]








DE-L~~CEMBER. [143


CHRISTMAS BEEF A LA MODE DE TARIFF.
Beef & la mode de Tarif," well I ween
To such lean cattle very few will lean.
It really passes all belief,
No wonder foreigners a'n't fond of beef.
Poor beasts, 'tis very clear
To any one possess'd of gumption,
That if they'd not come over here,
They'd have been carried off by home consumption.
At Christmas time, such beef to eat,
None would consider meet.
Surely the duty upon cattle laid,
For them was most unjustly paid,
When the new tariff would have let them in,
As what they are-mere skin.
If better beef than this is to the French unknown,
It must be very clear,
When it comes over here,
That what to them is bon-to us is bone.


THE FLEET MERGED IN THE QUEEN'S BENCH.
SunE England's naval glory now is past,
No more can poets to it write their odes;
The Fleet is swamp'd-yes, it is merged at last,
Not in the Yarmouth, but the Borough Roads.

15. Izaak Walton died, 1683.
Death at the stream of life's a constant dangler,
And on this day for Walton was an angler.


[1843-


DECEMBER.








DE-L~~CEMBER. [143


CHRISTMAS BEEF A LA MODE DE TARIFF.
Beef & la mode de Tarif," well I ween
To such lean cattle very few will lean.
It really passes all belief,
No wonder foreigners a'n't fond of beef.
Poor beasts, 'tis very clear
To any one possess'd of gumption,
That if they'd not come over here,
They'd have been carried off by home consumption.
At Christmas time, such beef to eat,
None would consider meet.
Surely the duty upon cattle laid,
For them was most unjustly paid,
When the new tariff would have let them in,
As what they are-mere skin.
If better beef than this is to the French unknown,
It must be very clear,
When it comes over here,
That what to them is bon-to us is bone.


THE FLEET MERGED IN THE QUEEN'S BENCH.
SunE England's naval glory now is past,
No more can poets to it write their odes;
The Fleet is swamp'd-yes, it is merged at last,
Not in the Yarmouth, but the Borough Roads.

15. Izaak Walton died, 1683.
Death at the stream of life's a constant dangler,
And on this day for Walton was an angler.


[1843-


DECEMBER.










THE MILITIA.
Tins fine old force is still upon a peace footing, and the Govern-
ment has refused new regimentals to any of the men, who are
nearly all grown too corpulent to wear their old ones. The coat of
the colour-sergeant of the Lancashire Lights has been pieced in
the back, and is now made to meet in front; and a false hem
having been made to his regulation ducks, he is enabled, by the aid
of very lengthy straps, to wear the uniform of the regiment. The
band has dwindled to a solitary drum, and, as the War Office will
not allow of any augmentation, the adjutant, who plays a little on
Sthe flute, takes a part on public occasions, when the staff is expected
to attend muster.
There is now a field day once in six months, when the regiment,
which consists of seven superannuated sergeants and one private, go
through a sham fight; and on the last occasion they carried the
pound by a coup de main, in spite of the beautiful manoeuvring of
the adjutant, who personated the garrison.
During the recent strike in the North the militia's instructions
were to act as a reserve, and they followed the recommendation to
the letter, for such was their modesty that they were not to be
drawn out from their dipdt on any pretext whatever. The thanks
of the city were afterwards presented to the adjutant in a congreve
box, and he received an autograph letter from the mayor, speaking
strongly of the forbearance that the militia had exhibited













PEACE ESTABLISHMENT.
CC







THE COMIC ALMANAC.


CHRONOLOGY FOR THE YEAR 1842.

JANUARY.
17th.-Prince Albert laid the first stone of the new Royal Exchange.
Every one present greatly admired the manner of the Prince, and the stone
itself was particularly struck by him.
25th.-A holiday at the Law Courts. Nothing doing, and nobody done.
31st.-The King of Prussia visited Newgate in the morning, and Drury
Lane Theatre at night. His Majesty saw murderers at both places, and
admired the new drop at each.
FEBRUARY.
3rd.-The Queen opened Parliament in person with a speech from the
throne, showing her readiness at all time to put in her spoke for the common
wheel.
20th.-The Corn Law Debate brought to a close. The duty of eight
shillings a quarter objected to by a county member, on the ground, that it
would amount to thirty-two shillings a year.

MARCH.
11th.-Sir R. Peel made his financial statement, and declared his intention
of increasing the duty on whisky; an announcement that had not the effect
of raising Irish spirits.
16th.-The day fixed for the earthquake that was to have broken London
into little bits. It, however, broke nothing but its appointment.
18th.-The Queen and Prince Albert having visited Drury Lane Theatre,
the house was full, and the royal pair gave an audience to the manager.

APRIL.
4th.-The House of Commons resolved itself into a Committee of Ways
and Means, when Sir R. Peel's ways of getting means were much objected to.
18th.-Discussion in the House of Lords on the New Corn Bill, when the
Duke of Buckingham plainly intimated that the Premier deserved to be turned
out, for having taken others in.
22nd.-A dispute between Mr. Lumley and Signor Mario, when the latter
complained of hoarseness, and the former declared that he also was taken by
the throat.
MAY.
2nd.-Presentation of the Chartist's petition. Its weight made a deep
impression on the floor of the House, but none at all on the members.
12th.-The Queen's Ball Masque. Several old ladies endeavoured to con-
ceal their years by appearing in the costumes of the middle age.
21st.-Prince Albert sat for six hours as judge in the Stannaries Court, and
performed the judicial office so well that two things were tried at once-the
cause before him and his own patience.
23rd.-Execution of the murderer Good. A good riddance.
In the course of this month the Whigs charged the Tories with the greatest
assurance in having taken up the former's policy.


[1843.







CHRONOLOGY FOR THE YEAR 1842.


JUNE.

3rd.-Continuance of the sugar duties moved by the Chancellor of the Ex-
chequer. He contended that though the tax was little in separate pounds of
moist it amounted to a great deal in the lump.
4th.-Proclamation issued on the subject of certain sovereigns discovered
to be light. The new regulation not to affect India, where the natives princes
are all of a dark complexion.
13th.-The Queen made her first trip by railway, and the Court expected
to adopt the fashion of trains.
23rd.-A question put to Sir R. Peel on the subject of the Nelson Monu-
ment, the base of which had not been proceeded with for want of the capital.
Several attempts made to retard the public business by incessantly moving
the adjournment of the House, and bring the Premier to a stand by perpetual
motion.
JULY.
2nd.-A letter exploded at the Post-office--a proof of its being in a great
'hurry to go off.
3rd.-Attempt of the varlet Bean on the life of Her Majesty. It appeared
that the little deformity was given to sentiment, and that the hump on his
back weighed heavily on his mind.
7th.-Mr. Hume moved for a Return of the actual services of all flag
officers, which was refused from a fear that many of them would turn out to be
much below the standard. He was denied-similar information respecting
general officers, since so many of them had not done anything particular, and
had never been in any action except as defendants.
10th.-M. Claudet, the patentee of the Daguerreotype, undertook to do like-
nesses, on first attempt, in less than a second.
13th.-Mr. Hume complained that at the British Museum no children are
admitted under eight; and he declared that juvenile capacity for instruction
was much under-eighted.
The same honourable member censured the locality and the expense of the
New Houses of Parliament, objecting to the site of the building, and the sight
of money required for completing it.

AUGUST.

lst.-Miss A. Kemble married to a count, and will, it is to be hoped, find
her account in the step taken.
'Tis a pity Miss Kemble retires so soon,
When money she makes to so pretty a tune.
5th.-Prince Albert shot ninety-six rabbits in the royal preserves. The
animals, anxious for the honour of seeing the Prince, fell the unhappy victims
of a too fatal curiosity.
6th.-A gentleman having received a newspaper sealed with the motto,
"Time flies," was charged full postage on account of "information" con-
tained on the wrapper.
14th.-Gooseberries, apples, and pears selling for a mere nothing in Covent
Garden Market, being, as the growers declared, the fruits of the Tariff.
25th.-Trial of the vagabond Bean, who was found to be one 'of a very
inferior kidney.







THE COMIC ALMANAC.


SEPTEMBER.
1st.-The Queen landed at Edinburgh, the tide having risen before the
Provost was out of bed.
2nd.-A return presented to Parliament of the condition of the inmates of
Greenwich Hospital, when it was found that there were thirty-six pensioners
who had only the right leg left.
3rd.-Covent Garden Theatre was advertised to open, but Miss Adelaide
Kemble was too hoarse to sing; and though her father had so much at stake
in the theatre, it was found that his daughter had no voice at all in it.
6th.-Mr. Carter bitten severely in the thumb by one of his lions. The
animal was recently purchased and not used to his master, who was trying a
few tricks merely to get his hand in.
12th.-An investigation into the Dover cropping case. The jailor, finding
he was not to cut the hair of the prisoners, cut his own stick, and resigned
his situation.
21 st.-A calculation made, that the shelves of the King's Library at Paris
extend to twenty miles-a proof of what extraordinary lengths some writers
will go to.
OCTOBER.
1st.-It was generally suggested that banking-houses should close at four,
because the system of shutting at five (after which hour there is still much
to be done) has the effect of driving their business very often to sixes and
sevens.
10th.-News arrived of Akbhar Khan being prepared to treat; but from
such a Khan nothing can be expected but half-and-half measures.
12th.-Miss Briers and Mary Ann Morgan brought to Union Hall oh a
charge of having conspired to lead Mr. Woolley into another union against
his will. Mr. Woolley, though evidently on thorns, and regularly caught by
the Briers, declared his intention not to prosecute; he, however, commenced
a suit for divorce against Mary, in reference to whom he refused to be
Molly-fied.


HOERID MU1UDEB.


London: Savih, Edwards and Co., Printers, Chandos Street, Covdnt Garden.










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t" ---- :-- C---



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STEPIHENS. '4to, with 56 full-page inimitable designs by this Artist.
Cloth and gold, gilt edges, 35s.
** In artistic circles the very highest praise has been accorded to the above designs.

The Rosicrucians; their Rites and Mysteries. With
Chapters on the Ancient Fire- and Serpent-Worshippers, and Explana-
tions of the Mystic Symbols represented in the Monuments and
Talismans of the Primeval Philosophers. By HAcRRAVE JEiNNINS.
Crown 8vo, 316 wood engravings, los. 6d.
John Camden HIotten, 74 and 75, Piccadilly, TV.









VERY IMPORTANT NEW BOOKS.

Flagellation and the Flagellants; a History of the
Rod in all Countries, from the Earliest Period to the Present Time.
By the Rev. WILLIAM COOPER, B.A., with numerous Illustrations.
Thick crown 8vo, 121. 6d.


"A very remarkallce, and '.i .. very readable, volume. Those who
care for quaint stories of the hire'. ll i 1uch matter for reflection, and not
a little amusement, in MNr. Cooper's Flagellation book."- Daily Tcleijlih.
The Englishman's House, from a Cottage to a
Mansion: a Practical Guide to Members of Building Societies, and all
interested in Selecting or Building a House. By C. J. RICiHADSON,
Architect (Author of Old English Mansions," &c.). Second Edition,
corrected and enlarged, with nearly 600 Illustrations. Crown 8vo,
550 p1ges, cloth, 7s. 6d.












1-1' o.
J..













Tt... V. 1i .....' not inappropriately be termed "A BOOK HOl SES."
t, ,, I house, from a workman's cottage to a nobleman's palace.
The book is intended to supply a want long felt, viz., a plain, non-technical
account of every manner of house, with the cost and manner of building.

Johan Camdein gotten, 74 and 75, Piccadilly, W. 7











VJER Y IMPORILINT N'JIW I;OOKS.

Mary Hollis; a Romance of the clays of Charles II..
and William Prince of Orange, from the Dutch of H. J. Schimmel,
"the Sir Walter Scott of Holland." 3 vols. crown 8vo, i IIs. 6d.
** This novel relates to one of the most intere-ting periods of ourt history. It has created the
glentc ett excittmnc t on the Colltillelt, where it qu cly passed through savcral editions. It is now
triallluted front the Dutch with tile assistant e of the outlllhor.

UNIFORM WITH DOCTOR SYNTAX.
Wonderful Characters. Memoirs and Anecdotes of
Remarkable and Eccentric Persons of Every Age and Nation. Front
the text of HENRY WsILSO and JAMES CAuLFIELD. 8VO. SIXTY-ONE
T:ULL-PAGE E-NGRAVINGS OF E.XTrAORDIYnAY PEIRSOXS. 7. 6d.






-C






(Ci .-Z



*,* One of the cheapest and most naming books ev e published. 'There nre so manye curkl i
matters discussed in this volume, tltitt an sn t o o t I takoit it up will not readily lay it down. Thf
r 1tto ittlion is atmo,t .entt ef devoted to consider tliol of ,l'g-F.ed Ladtes, and the ariou sto, ien
concerning them.

Artemus Ward in London. Including his well-known
Letters to "Punch." Square 16mo, is. 6d.; cloth, zs.
*0* An entirely new volume of Wit and tFun by the famous humorist, and one which is sure to
become popular.

NEW BOOK ON TIE LONDON PARKS.
Taking the Air; or, the Story of our London Parks.
By JAcon LtAWOOD. With numerous illustrations. Vol. I., Iyde
Park; Vol. II., St. James's Park, The Green Park, and Mary Bone
Gardens. Price i8s. the two volumes.
1. i I I I I 11 I of these favourite out-f-
door re I I 't i I tt I I the promenades, lte idt ,.
thle 1rview, and other d ; 's I l. down t to thlo le le
S t Ingether with tloe txploitn
Si i, the Code of Honour.

John Ca.noden Ilottcn, 74 aiLd 75, PiccaalillU, Tf.











VERY IMPORTANT NEWl BOOKS.

An Epic of Women, and other Poems. By Arthur
W. E. 0 SHALUGIINESSY With some Original Designs by MIr. J. T.
IYETTLESIIIp. Just out, feap. 8vo, with woodcuts, cloth, very neat,
price 61.
"What he has given us is remarkable. With its quaint title, and quaint illus.
trations, A Epic OF WO-EN will be a rich treat to a wide circle (if admirers."
-Alt/heiae', Nov. 5, 1870.
Combine Morris and Swinburnc, and inspire the product with a fervour
essentially ,;. .1 ., ,u have, as we take it, a fair notion of Mr. O'ha:ighi-
nessy's poc Oct. 30, 1870.
Anacreon. Illustrated by the Exquisite Designs of
GIRODET. Translated by THOMAs MOORE. Oblong 16mo, in vellum
cloth and Etruscan gold, 12s. 6d.


'-I





ii,




~Ii rr'ii


I



/ :i i i iI
-~ I, It.:'-


II


A MOST BEAUTIFUL AND) CAPTIVATING VOLUMI. The well-knowl
Paris house, Firniin Didot, a few years since produced a very small edition oii
these exquisite designs by the photographic process. aud sold a 1 edition al
2I per copy. The designs have been universally admired by II, artists andt
poets.
Albert Durer's "Little Passion." As Engraved by
the distinguished artist in i509-o1, consisting of 37 inimitable designs
upon wood. With a survey ot Durer's Works by \V. C. Prime. Royal
4to. The illustrations in exquisite facsimile, emblematic binding, 25i.
-Only too copies of this beautiful book were printed.

8 John Canden Hotten, 74 andl 75, Piccadill', 11'.










VE7RiY IMPORTANT NEW LOOKS.

The Champion Pig of England. A Capital Story for
Schoolboys. Cloth gilt. With spirited Illustrations by Concanen,
coloured and plain, 3s. 6d.


UNIFORM WITH 211R. RUSKIN'S EDITION OF "GERMAN
POPULAR STORIES."
Prince Ubbely Bubble's New Story Book.
THE DRAGON ALL COVERED WITH SPIKES.
THE LONG.TAILED NAG.
THE THREE ONE-LEGGED MEN.
THE OLD FLY AND THE YOUNG FLY
TO-I AND THE OGRE.
And many other talcs.
By J. TEMPIrETON LUCA.s With numerous Illustrations by Matt
Morgan, Barnes, Gordon Thompson, Brunton, and other artists. In
small 4to, green and gold, 4s. 6d.
-- Gilt leaves, 5s. 6d.










*** This is an entirely new story-book, and one that is likely to become
very popular.

Acrostics in Prose and Verse. Edited by A. E. H.
Izmo, gilt cloth, gilt edges, 3s.
-- SECOND SERIES. Izmo, gilt cloth, gilt edges, 3s.
-- THIRD SERIES. Izmo, gilt cloth, gilt edges, 3s.
- FOURTH SERIES. With 8 Pictorial Acrostics. I2mo, gilt
cloth, 3s.
- FIFTH SERIES. Easy Double. Historical. Scriptural Acrostics.
izmo, gilt cloth, gilt edges, 3s.
The most popular Acrostics published.
.* Enac series sold separately. These are the best volumes of Aerostics ever issued. They compi' :e
i i ,l evely variety of acrostic, and tie se t would amus tie e younger meniberl
of w inter.
The whole complete in a case, The Acrostic Box," price I5s.
Joht Camden sHottea, 74 alnc 75, Piccadilly, IV. 7











VERY IMPORTANT NE VW BOOKS.

POPULAR EDITION OF MR. DISRAELI'S SPEECHES.
Disraeli's (The Right Hon. B.) Speeches on the Con-
stitutional Policy of the Last 30 Years. Royal i6mo, Is. 4(1.; in cloth,
Is. IOd.
S** I Selecte nd edited, with tie approvall of the late First Minister of the Crown, by .T. 1
:t is mlinly fotudli oo a eirelol comlir ison of the Tilws newspaper i i'
cce to il hlorrected by Mr. Disraeli, and of which the publisher has obtained special
liecoce to a'ail hoinscl.

Artemus Ward's Lecture at the Egyptian Hall, with
the Panorama, 6s. Edited by T. W. ROBERTsoX (Author of "Caste,"
"Ours," "Society," &c.), and E. P. HINGSTOX. Small 4to, exqvi-
sitely priiited green aid gold, WITH NUMEROUS TINTED ILLUSTLATIAONS,
price 6s.

















Mr. Hotten has conceived the happy idea of printing Artemus Ward's
'Lecture' in such a way as to afford the reader an accurate notion of the
emphasis, by-play, &c., with which it was delivered. We have no hesita-
tion in saying that Mr. Hotten has almost restored the great humorist to
the flesh."-Daily Telegraph.
The tomahawk fell from our hands as we roared with laullhter--th pipe of peace slipped from
between our lips as our eyes filled with tears! Laughter for Artemts's wit-rears for hlis uitiinil
death! This boik is a recoid of both. Those o nevt r satw Artemus in the flesh, let them read of
hini in the spirit."--Tonuha iwk.
"It actually reproduces Ward's Lecture, which was brinful of first-class wit and hunIt lr,"-
--Daily Nelas.
SIt keeps yoil inl fiti of lanhllter."-Ler ler.
'One of tie choice and curious volumes for tlhe ssue of which Mir. Ifotten lhas become famous."-
"The Lecture is not alone droll ; it is full of informnation."--E .rntmir.
"It adds one to the books of genuine funl wlil e oha t."--Slitl( Tties.

Redding's (Cyrus) Personal Reminiscences of Emi-
nent Men. Thick cr. 8vo, three vols., 5s. complete.
*** Fill of anmsing stories of eminent Literaryi and other Celebrities
of the present century. The work is a fund of anecdote.
Apply to 3Mr. Hotten DIRECTS or this or k.

Joll Camden iotten, 74 and 75, Piccadilly, IW.









VERY IMPORTANT NEW BOOKS.

THE NEW "PUNIANA SERIES" OF

CHOICE ILLUSTRATED WORKS OF
HUMO UR.
















Elegantly printed, on toned paper, full gilt, gilt esgs, for tsh
Drawing Room, price 6s. each :-
1. Carols of Cockayne. By Henry S. Leigh. Vers de
Society, and charming Verses descriptive of London Lite. With numer-
ous exquisite little designs by ALFRED CONCANEN and the late JouN
LEECH. Small 4to, elegant, uniform with "Puniana," 6s.

2. The "Bab Ballads" New Illustrated Book of Hu.
MOUR; OR, A GREAT DEAL OF RHYME WITH VERY LITTLE REASON.
By W. S. GILBERT. WITII A MOST .AUGIIABLE ILLUSTRATION ON
NEARLY EVERY PAGE, DRAWN BY THE AUTHOR. Un toned paper, gilt
edges, price 6s.

"An awfully Jolly Book for Parties."
3. Puniana. Best Book of Riddles and Pu-s ever
formed. Thoughts Wise and Otherwise. With nearly ioo exquisitely
fanciful drawings. Contains nearly 3.000 of the best kiddies and 1o,ooo
most outrageous Puns, and is one of the most popular books ever issued.
New edition, uniform with the "Bab Ballads," price 6s.
Why did Du Chailln get so angry when he was chafed about the
Gorilla ? Why ? ee ask.
Why is a chrysalis like a hot roll ? You will doubtless remark, Be
cause it's the grub that makes the butter fly !" But see Puniana."
Why is a wide-awake hat so called? Because it never had a nap, and
never wants one.
The Saturday Review aays of this moat amuaing work--" Enormoon burlesque-unapproachable
and pre-eminent. We venture to think that this very queer volume ill be a favourite. It dearves
to be o i .. o et credit with the young holiday
people, i. i I o by ins tahileut."
John Camden THotten, 74 and 75, Piccadilly, ;V.











VERY IMPORTANT rEW BOOKS.

Seymour's Sketches. A Companion Volume to "Leech's
Pictures." The Book of Cockney Sports, Whims and Oddities. Nearly
200 highly amusing Illustrations. Oblong 4to, a handsome volume, half
morocco, price i2s.
*** A re-issue of the famous pictorial cnmicalities which were no popular thirty years ago. The
volume is admirably adapted tor a table-book, and the pictures a ill doubtlies arain meet ith t hat
.r'rulnrty which was extended utoards them when the artist projected with Ir. liekens the famous
Pckwiek- Papera."

The Famous DOCTOR SYNTAX'S" Three Tours.
One of the most Amusing and Laughable Books ever published. With
the whole of Rowlandson's very droll full-page illustrations, in colours,
after the original drawings. Comprising the well-known Touns:-
x. In Search of the Picturesque.
2. In Search of Consolation.
3. In Search of a Wife.
The three series complete and unabridged from the original editions in
one handsome volume, with a Life of this industrious Author-the En-
glish Le Sage-now first written by John Camdca Hotten.




i ~ '. .. _-- 1


k ,:-



*9* It is not a little surprising that the most voluminous and popular
English writer since the days of Defoe should never before have received
ite small honour of a biography. This Edition contains the whole of the
original, hitherto sold fbr E Its. 6d., but which is now published at
7s. 6d. only.

A VERY USEFUL BOOK. In folio, half morocco, cloth sides, 7s. 6d.
Literary Scraps, Cuttings from Newspapers, Extracts,
Miscellanea, &c. A FOLIO SCRAP-BOOK OF 340 COLbUMEAS,
formed for the reception of Cuttings, &c., with guards.
SW Authors and literary men have thanked the publisher for this useful
book.
A.* A most useful volume, and one of the cheapest ever sold. The book is sure to be appreciated'
and to become popular.

Hone's Scrap Book. A Supplementary Volume to the
"Every-Day Book," the Year Book," and the Table-Book." From
the MSS. of the late WILLIAM HOlNE, with upwards of One Hundred
and Fifty engravings of curious or eccentric objects. Thick Sco, uniform
with Year-Book," pp. 800. [In preparation.

John Camden Rhotten, 74 and 75, Piccadilly, W.










VERY IMPORTANT NEW BOOKS.

MIore Yankee Drolleries. A Second Series of cele-
brated Works by the best American Humorists. ARTEMUS WARD'S
TRAVELS; HlAXS BREM1T-ANN; PRIOFESSOI AT TIIE B-IREAK(FAST-TABLE;
BiGcow PAPERS, Part. II.; JosI BILLINGS. With an Introduction
by George Augustus Sala. Crown 8vo, 700 pages, cloth extra, 3s. 6d.
*** An entirely lew gathering of Transa tlantio humour. Twelve thousand copies of the First
sec ies Iohave bcen old.

UNIFORM WITH DR. SYNTAX.
Life in London; or, the Day and Night Scenes of
Jerry Hawthorn and Corinthian Tom. Crown 8vo. IVITIH THE
WHOLE OF CRUIKSHANK'S VERY DROLL ILLUSTRATIONS,
IN COLOURS, AFTER THE ORIGINALS. Cloth extra, 7s. 6d.





V*. '
It.- r. -'. .








Tom and Jerry taking a stroll.
*** One of the most popular hooks ever issued. It was an immense favourlte sit h George IV.,
and as a picture of ago was often quoted by Thackeray, who devotes one of
his l nd clihut i i ptiun of it. Clean second-lhand copies of this work always
realise from 1 to 2.


Pierce Egan's "Finish" to "Liife In and Out of
London," 8vo, cloth extra, WITH SPIRITED COLOURED ILLUSTRATIONS
BY CRUIKSIIANK, I8S.
*e* This is the quaint original edition of one of the most amusing pictures of London life ever
written.
Apply to 31r. Hottce DIRECT for this oortk.


Fine Old Hunting Books, with Coloured Plates.
MR. JORROCICS JAUNTS AND JOLLITIES.
LIFE AND ADVENTURES OF JACK MYTTON.
ANALYSIS OF THE HUNTING FIELD.
LIFE OF A SPORTSMAN. BY NIJIROD.
AppIly to 1Mr. Hotten DIRECTfOi0 these books.


Jon, Caon7lesn Hotten, 74 anlo 75, T V.











VERY IMPORTANT NIEW BOOKS.

Mark Twain's New Pilgrim's Progress. A delight-
fully fresh and amusing Volume of Travel. Companion to the popular
"INNOCENTs ABROAD." 31. 6. ; paper, Is.
-. Readers who approved of this Author's quaint story of The Jumping
Frog," will 1 .:. 1 with the "New Pilgrim's Progress:" there has
been no wo. .r .. for years.

Mark Twain's Innocents Abroad. 1THE VO YAl1
OUT. Price 39. 6d. c:oth extra a paper edition, is.


















A delightfrl froS- .Ird n~ oi-i "n. nimio of travels. Readers who appre-
iate true wit !.. i i',,. I i i.r. I with "The Innocents Abroad."

The Luck of Roaring Camp, and other Stories.
By BRET HARTE. Crown 8vo, toned paper, 3. 6d.; a paper edition, is.
The Work of a new candidate to literary honour. The Publisher of a book
is not perhaps always the most unbiassed person to give an opinion about it;
but in the present instance the writer has no hesitation i .. r' i i,,. _:
readers will be charmed with these inimitable stories of .... ...
West--away on the Pacific slope. The fun, the very hunmc .. i '**, has a
May freshness about it, which smacks not of the Old World.

Champagne: its History, Manufacture, Properties,
&c. By CHAR1LES TOVEY, Anthor of Wine and ine Countries,"
'- British and Foreign Spirits," &c. Crown 8vo, with numerous illus-
trations, 5 .
A practical work, by one of the largest champagne merchants in London.
Acrostics. An Entirely New and Original Work,
constituting the FIFTH SERIES of the popular A. E. H. Acrostics.
12'no, cloth elegant, 40. 61.
** The authr.--- i 1 s1- ff ,b-h position in the North of England, and her
books are very i .... .. .. tr I. Iest Families in the country

John Clamden Hotten, 74 and 75, Piccadilly, Ti. 9










VERY IMPORTANT' NEWIV BOOKS.

AARON PENLEY'S Sketching in Water Colours, 21s.
By the Author of The English School of Painting in Water-Colours,"
&r. ILLUSTRATED WITir TWENTY-OcNE BEAUTIFUL; CIIRO-1O-LITHiO-
GRAPIts, produced with the utmost care to resemble original WATER-
COLOUR DRiAWINGS. Small folio, the text tastefully printed, in hand-
some binding, gilt edges, suitable for the drawing-room table, price z s.
*** It has long been felt tlint the magnificent work of thie ~ I,
IOater-colourr published at 4 4s., was too deIar for geonil( i eci,
the inIti oeitons of the distinguished author., ith twenty-one bIutiful specii ens of wo ater-colouu
painting. 11 Is A MOSt CHAt3ItLINGi 'lI:Sl :i. FOll A YOLUNi LADY.


A Clever and Brilliant Book (Comtpanion to the "BRon Gaultier
Ballads"), PUCK ON PEGASUS. BY II. CHOLMONDELEY
PENNELL.




















i ,praise as" a *leer
'/ ,, ... TO NO OTHER
S WRICORK OF0 THE PRESENT DAY ILA V
SO MANY' DISTINGUISHED ARTISTS CONTRIBUTED ILLUS-
TRATIONS. To the designs of GEORGE CRUIIh'SlANK, JOHN
LEECH, JULIAN PORTCII, "P1HIZ," anmd other ar-tists, SIR NOEL
PATON, MILLAIS, JOHN TENNIEL, RICHARDI DOYLE, and 3M.
ELLEN EDWARDS have oivt' contributed several exquisite pictures,
this making the inew edition-wchich is TWICE T'riE SIZE OF TIHE OLD ONE,
ind contains irresistibly funny pieces-THE BEST BOOK FOR Til;'
DRA WING-ROOM 4 TABLE NOW PUBLISHED.
In. 4to, printedt within an india-paper tone, and elegantly bound, gilt,
gilt edges, price los. 6d. only.

Johit Camden Hotten, 74 ald 75, Piccadilly, V.











VERY IMPORTANT NEWV BOOKS.

MOST AMUSING NEW BOOK.
Caricature History of the Georges (House of Hanover).
Very entertaining book of 640 pages, with 400 Pictures, Caricatures,
Squibs, Broadsides, Window Pictures. By T. WmIGnT, F.S.A. 7. 6d.


,** Companion Volume to "History of Signboards." Reviewed in
almost every English journal with highest approbation.
"A set of carinctures such as we have in Mr. Wright's volume brings the surfaco of the age
before us with a vividness that no prose writer, even of tie highest power, could emiliae.
,Macaulay' most brilliant sentcce is weak by the side of tie little woodcut from Gillray wicjt i c,
as Durke and Fox."-Saturday ilevicw.
"A more amusing work of its kind never issued from the press."--Art Journal
"This is one of the most agreeable and interesting books of the season."-Public Opinion.
It seems superfluous to say that this is an entertaining book. It is indeed one of the most
entertaining books we have read for a long time. It is history teaching by caricature. Tihele is
enrdliy a eent of note, ialdly a pel sonla g of msak, Ii a momelts
potic. c hiich is not atilised oind ilostrated ill these pan, i. aoturists frSlo
IHogarth to Gillray, and itroml Gillny to Cruikshank."-. orla ing Star.
It is emphatically one of the livelest of books, as also oneof the moat interesting. It has thk
twofold nlerit of being at once auisiing and i li- oI odd polges which mnke up tile
goodly volume are d(Ibuly enhanced by oOImIU ti, .I 1I.. ..*, of which a dozen are full-pagu
engravings."-AYlrnint Post.
"Mr. Thomas Wright is so ripe a scholar, and is so rich in historical reminiscences, that he
cannot fail to make an iotenretiin book on auysubject he undertakes to illustrate. Ilo has anlieved
a scncess on the present occasion."-Pi ess

NTotice.---arge-paper Edition. 4to, only 100 printed,
on extra fine paper, wide margins for the lovers of choice books, with
extra Portraits, half-morocco (a capital book to illustrate), 30s.

Romance of the Rod: an Anecdotal History of the
Birch in Ancient and Modern Times. With some quaint illustrations.
Crown 8vo, handsomely printed. [In preparation.

John Camden Hotten. 74 and 75, Piccadilly, TV.











VERY IMPORTANT NEW BOOKS.

Popular Shilling Books of Hunour.
ARTEMUS WARD: His BOOK. HOOD'S VERE VEREKER.
ARTrEMUS WARD AMONG THE HOLMES' WIT AND HUMOUR.
MORMONS. NEVER CAUGHT.
EIGLOW PAPERS. CHIPS FROM A ROUGH LOG.
ORPHEUS C. KERR PAPERS. MR. SPROUTS: HIS OPINIONS.
JOSH BILLINGS.

Yankee Drolleries. Edited by George Augustus Sala,
Containing Artemus Ward; Biglow Papers; Orpheus C. Kerr; Major
Jack Downing; and Nasby Papers. One of the cheapest .books ever
published. New Edition, on toned paper, cloth extra, 700 pages, 3s. 6.

Orpheus C. Kerr Papers. The Original American
Edition, Three Series, complete. 3 vols. Svo, cloth; sells at l zs. 6d.,
now specially offered at Iss.
*** A most mirth-provoking work. It was first introduced into this country by the English
officers who were quartered during the late war on tie Canadian frontier. Thiey found it one of
the drollest pieces of composition they had ever met with, and so bought copies over for the
delectation of their friends.

A Keepsake for Smokers. The Smoker's Text-
Book." By J. HAMER, F.R.S.L. This day, exquisitely printed from
"silver-faced" type, cloth, very neat, gilt edges, 2s. 6d., post free.




THE TRUE CONSOLE.
He .ho diir. not ,nuh~ek h ith.
knorn no .nO a a re n. or r.iu..th



.r *r i ol nd un y lrl w ln oiubo iid


ULWtl, u on t h imo ho ht. Soman n"


"A pipe Is a great comforter, a pleasant soother. The man who smokes thinks like a sage, and
ucts like a Samaritan."--uiler.
A tiny volume, dedicated to the votaries of the weed; beautifully printed on toned paper in, wt

Thackeray, Iaane Browne, Cowper, and Byron."--Th Field

Laughing Philosopher (The), consisting of several
Thousand of the best JOKES, WITTICISMS, PUNS, EPIGRAMS, HUMOROUS
SToRIEs, and Witty Compositions in the English Language; intended
as "Fun for the Million." Square lzmo, nearly 800 pages, frontis-
piece, half morocco neat, 5s. 6d.

Joohn OCmndcen IHottee, 74 and 75, Piccadilly, W.