• TABLE OF CONTENTS
HIDE
 Front Cover
 Front Matter
 Frontispiece
 Title Page
 Copyright
 Table of Contents
 Down the rabbit-hole
 Pool of tears
 Caucus-race and a long tale
 Rabbit sends in a little bill
 Advice from a caterpillar
 Pig and pepper
 Mad tea-party
 Queen's croquet-ground
 Mock turtle's story
 Lobster quadrille
 Who stole the tarts
 Alice's evidence
 Back Cover
 Spine






Group Title: alice's adventures in Wonderland
Title: Alice's adventures in wonderland
CITATION PAGE TURNER PAGE IMAGE ZOOMABLE
Full Citation
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Permanent Link: http://ufdc.ufl.edu/UF00076840/00001
 Material Information
Title: Alice's adventures in wonderland
Physical Description: 3 p. l., 11-121 p. : col. front., col. plates. ; 26 cm.
Language: English
Creator: Carroll, Lewis, 1832-1898
McManus, Blanche, b. 1869 ( Illustrator )
M. F. Mansfield and A. Wessels ( Publisher )
Publisher: M. F. Mansfield and A. Wessels
Place of Publication: New York
Publication Date: [c1899]
 Subjects
Subject: Juvenile literature -- 1899   ( rbgenr )
Bldn -- 1899
Genre: Juvenile literature   ( rbgenr )
non-fiction   ( marcgt )
Spatial Coverage: United States -- New York -- New York
 Notes
Statement of Responsibility: by Lewis Carroll pseud. with 12 full-page illustrations in color from drawings by Blanche McManus.
Funding: Preservation and Access for American and British Children's Literature, 1870-1889 (NEH PA-50860-00).
 Record Information
Bibliographic ID: UF00076840
Volume ID: VID00001
Source Institution: University of Florida
Holding Location: Baldwin Library of Historical Children's Literature in the Department of Special Collections and Area Studies, George A. Smathers Libraries, University of Florida
Rights Management: All rights reserved, Board of Trustees of the University of Florida.
Resource Identifier: aleph - 001517069
oclc - 06436992
notis - AHD0167
lccn - 99005389 //r

Table of Contents
    Front Cover
        Front Cover 1
        Front Cover 2
        Front Cover 3
    Front Matter
        Front Matter
    Frontispiece
        Frontispiece
    Title Page
        Title Page
    Copyright
        Copyright
    Table of Contents
        Table of Contents
    Down the rabbit-hole
        Page 11
        Page 12
        Page 13
        Page 14
        Page 15
        Page 16
        Page 17
        Page 18
    Pool of tears
        Page 41
        Page 19
        Page 20
        Page 21
        Page 22
        Page 23
        Page 24
        Page 25
        Page 26
    Caucus-race and a long tale
        Unnumbered ( 26 )
        Page 27
        Page 28
        Page 29
        Page 30
        Page 31
        Page 32
        Page 33
        Page 34
    Rabbit sends in a little bill
        Unnumbered ( 35 )
        Page 35
        Page 36
        Page 37
        Page 38
        Page 39
        Page 40
        Page 41
        Page 42
        Page 43
        Page 44
    Advice from a caterpillar
        Unnumbered ( 46 )
        Page 45
        Page 46
        Page 47
        Page 48
        Page 49
        Page 50
        Page 51
        Page 52
        Page 53
        Page 54
    Pig and pepper
        Unnumbered ( 57 )
        Page 55
        Page 56
        Page 57
        Page 58
        Page 59
        Page 60
        Page 61
        Page 62
        Page 63
        Page 64
        Page 65
    Mad tea-party
        Unnumbered ( 69 )
        Page 66
        Page 67
        Page 68
        Page 69
        Page 70
        Page 71
        Page 72
        Page 73
        Page 74
        Page 75
    Queen's croquet-ground
        Unnumbered ( 80 )
        Page 76
        Page 77
        Page 78
        Page 79
        Page 80
        Page 81
        Page 82
        Page 83
        Page 84
        Page 85
    Mock turtle's story
        Unnumbered ( 91 )
        Page 86
        Page 87
        Page 88
        Page 89
        Page 90
        Page 91
        Page 92
        Page 93
        Page 94
        Page 95
    Lobster quadrille
        Unnumbered ( 102 )
        Page 96
        Page 97
        Page 98
        Page 99
        Page 100
        Page 101
        Page 102
        Page 103
        Page 104
    Who stole the tarts
        Unnumbered ( 112 )
        Page 105
        Page 106
        Page 107
        Page 108
        Page 109
        Page 110
        Page 111
        Page 112
    Alice's evidence
        Unnumbered ( 121 )
        Page 113
        Page 114
        Page 115
        Page 116
        Page 117
        Page 118
        Page 119
        Page 120
        Page 121
    Back Cover
        Back Cover 1
        Back Cover 2
    Spine
        Page 126
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Alice's


Adventures


LEWIS


in Wonderland


CARROLL


WITH TWELVE FULL-PAGE ILLUSTRATIONS IN COLOR
From Drawings by
BLANCHE McMANUS


M. F. MANSFIELD AND A. WESSELS
NEW YORK













COPYRIGHT, 1899, BY
M. F. MANSFIELD & A. WESSELS




















Contents

PAGE
Down the Rabbit-Hole . II
The Pool of Tears ..... 19
A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale 27
The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill .35
Advice from a Caterpillar . 45
Pig and Pepper . . 55
A Mad Tea-Party . . 66
The Queen's Croquet-Ground . 76
The Mock Turtle's Story . 86
The Lobster Quadrille . 96
Who Stole the Tarts? . 5. i0
Alice's Evidence . .. 13










CHAPTER I.


Down the Rabbit-Hole.

A ICE was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her
sister on the bank, and of having nothing to do;
once or twice she had peeped into the book her sister was
reading, but it had no pictures or conversations in it, and
what is the use of a book," thought Alice, "without pictures
or conversations?"
So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she
could, for the hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid),
whether the pleasure of making a daisy-chain would be worth
the trouble of getting up and picking the daisies, when
suddenly a white rabbit with pink eyes ran close by her.
There was nothing so very remarkable in that; nor did
Alice think it so very much out of the way to hear the
Rabbit say to itself, "Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be too
late!" (When she thought it over afterward, it occurred to
her that she ought to have wondered at this, but at the time
it all seemed quite natural); but when the Rabbit actually
took a watch out of its waistcoat-pocket, and looked at it, and
then hurried on, Alice started to her feet, for it flashed across
her mind that she had never before seen a Rabbit with either
a waistcoat-pocket or a watch to take out of it, and, burning
with curiosity she ran across the field after it, and was just in
time to see it pop down a large rabbit-hole under the hedge.
In another moment down went Alice after it, never once
considering how in the world she was to get out again.
1I








Adventures in Wonderland


The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some
way, and then dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice
had not a moment to think about stopping herself before she
found herself falling down what seemed to be a very deep
well.
Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for
she had plenty of time as she went down to look about her,
and to wonder what was going to happen next. First, she
tried to look down and make out what she was coming to,
but it was too dark to see anything; then she looked at the
sides of the well, and noticed that they were filled with
cupboards and bookshelves: here and there she saw maps and
pictures hung upon pegs. She took down a jar from one
of the shelves as she passed; it was labelled "ORANGE
MARMALADE," but to her great disappointment it was
empty; she did not like to drop the jar for fear of killing
somebody underneath, so managed to put it into one of the
cupboards as she fell past it.
"Well," thought Alice to herself, "after such a fall as this,
I shall think nothing of tumbling down stairs. How brave
they'll all think me at home! Why, I wouldn't say anything
about it, even if I fell off the top of the house." (Which
was very likely true.)
Down, down, down. Would the fall never come to an
end? "I wonder how many miles I've fallen by this time?"
she said aloud. I must be getting somewhere near the
center of the earth. Let me see: that would be four thousand
miles down, I think" (for, you see, Alice had learned several
12









Down the Rabbit-Hole


things of this sort in her lessons in the schoolroom, and
though this was not a very good opportunity for showing off
her knowledge, as there was no one to listen to her, still it
was good practice to say it over) "yes, that's about the right
distance-but then I wonder what latitude or longitude I've
got to?" (Alice had not the slightest idea what latitude was
or longitude either, but she thought they were nice grand
words to say.)
Presently she began again. "I wonder if I shall fall right
through the earth! How funny it'll seem to come out among
the people that walk with their heads downward! The
Antipathies, I think" (she was rather glad there was no one
listening this time, as it didn't sound at all the right word),
" but I shall have to ask them what the name of the country
is, you know. Please, ma'am, is this New Zealand or
Australia?" (and she tried to courtesy as she spoke-fancy
courtesying as you're falling through the air! Do you think
you could manage it?) "And what an ignorant little girl
she'll think me for asking! No, it'll never do to ask:
perhaps I shall see it written up somewhere."
Down, down, down. There was nothing else to do, so
Alice soon began talking again. "Dinah'll miss me very
much to-night, I should think!" (Dinah was the cat.) "I
hope they'll remember her saucer of milk at tea-time. Dinah,
my dear! I wish you were down here with me! There are
no mice in the air, I'm afraid, but you might catch a bat,
and that's very like a mouse you know. But do cats eat bats,
I wonder?" And here Alice began to get rather sleepy, and









Adventures in Wonderland


went on saying to herself, in a dreamy sort of way, "Do cats
eat bats? Do cats eat bats?" and sometimes, "Do bats eat
cats?" for, you see, as she couldn't answer either question, it
didn't much matter which way she put it. She felt that she
was dozing off, and had just begun to dream that she was
walking hand in hand with Dinah, and was saying to her
very earnestly, "Now, Dinah, tell me the truth: did you ever
eat a bat?" when suddenly, thump! thump! down she came
upon a heap of sticks and dry leaves, and the fall was over.
Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up on to her feet
in a moment: she looked up, but it was all dark overhead;
before her was another long passage, and the white rabbit was
still in sight, hurrying down it. There was not a moment
to be lost: away went Alice like the wind, and was just in
time to hear it say, as it turned a corner, "Oh, my ears and
whiskers, how late it's getting!" She was close behind it
when she turned the corner, but the Rabbit was no longer to
be seen: she found herself in a long, low hall, which was lit
up by a row of lamps hanging from the roof.
There were doors all round the hall, but they were all
locked, and when Alice had been all the way down one side
and up the other, trying every door, she walked sadly down
the middle, wondering how she was ever to get out again.
Suddenly she came upon a little three-legged table, all made
of solid glass; there was nothing on it but a tiny golden key,
and Alice's first idea was that this might belong to one of the
doors of the hall; but alas! either the locks were too large,
or the key was too small, but at any rate it would not open
14









Down the Rabbit-Hole

any of them. However, on the second time round, she came
upon a low curtain she had not noticed before, and behind it
was a little door about fifteen inches high; she tried the little
golden key in the lock, and to her great delight it fitted!
Alice opened the door and found that it led into a small
passage, not much larger than a rat-hole; she knelt down and
looked along the passage into the loveliest garden you ever
saw. How she longed to get out of that dark hall, and
wander about among those beds of bright flowers and those
cool fountains, but she could not even get her head through
the doorway; "and even if my head would go through,"
thought poor Alice, "it would be of very little use without
my shoulders. Oh, how I wish I could shut up like a
telescope! I think I could, if I only knew how to begin."
For, you see, so many out-of-the-way things had happened
lately that Alice had begun to think that very few things
indeed were really impossible.
There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door,
so she went back to the table, half hoping she might find
another key on it, or at any rate a book of rules for shutting
people up like telescopes: this time she found a little bottle
on it (" which certainly was not here before," said Alice), and
tied round the neck of the bottle was a paper label with the
words "DRINK ME" beautifully printed on it in large
letters.
It was all very well to say "Drink me," but the wise little
Alice was not going to do that in a hurry: "No, I'll look
first," she said, "and see whether it is marked 'poison' or
'5








Adventures in Wonderland


not ;" for she had read several nice little stories about children
who had got burned, and eaten up by wild beasts, and other
unpleasant things, all because they would not remember the
simple rules their friends had taught them, such as, that a
red-hot poker will burn you if you hold it too long; and
that if you cut your finger very deeply with a knife, it usually
bleeds; and she had never forgotten that, if you drink much
from a bottle marked "poison," it is almost certain to disagree
with you sooner or later.
However, this bottle was not marked "poison," so Alice
ventured to taste it, and finding it very nice (it had, in fact, a
sort of mixed flavor of cherry tart, custard, pineapple, roast
turkey, toffy, and hot buttered toast), she very soon finished
it off.



"What a curious feeling said Alice, I must be shutting
up like a telescope."
And so it was indeed; she was now only ten inches high,
and her face brightened up at the thought that she was now
the right size for going through the little door into that
lovely garden. First, however, she waited for a few minutes
to see if she was going to shrink any further; she felt a little
nervous about this, "for it might end, you know," said Alice
to herself, "in my going out altogether, like a candle. I
wonder what I should be like then ?" And she tried to fancy
what the flame of a candle looks like after the candle is blown
out, for she could not remember ever having seen such a thing.









Down the Rabbit-Hole


After a while, finding that nothing more happened, she
decided on going into the garden at once, but, alas for poor
Alice! when she got to the door, she found she had forgotten
the little golden key, and when she went back to the table
for it, she found she could not possibly reach it; she could
see it quite plainly through the glass, and she tried her best to
climb up one of the legs of the table, but it was too slippery,
and when she had tired herself out with trying, the poor little
thing sat down and cried.
Come, there's no use in crying like that!" said Alice to
herself, rather sharply; "I advise you to leave off this minute!"
She generally gave herself very good advice (though she very
seldom followed it), and sometimes she scolded herself so
severely as to bring tears into her eyes, and once she remembered
trying to box her own ears for having cheated herself in a
game of croquet she was playing against herself, for this
curious child was very fond of pretending to be two people.
"But it's no use now," thought poor Alice, "to pretend to
be two people! Why, there's hardly enough of me left to
make one respectable person! "
Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under
the table; she opened it, and found in it a very small cake,
on which the words "EAT ME" were beautifully marked
in currants. "Well, I'll eat it," said Alice, "and if it
makes me grow larger, I can reach the key; and if it
makes me grow smaller, I can creep under the door; so
either way I'll get into the garden, and I don't care which
happens."









Adventures in Wonderland

She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to herself "Which
way? Which way?" holding her hand on top of her head
to feel which way it was growing, and she was quite surprised
to find that she remained the same size; to be sure, this is
what generally happens when one eats cake, but Alice had
got so much into the way of expecting nothing but out-of-
the-way things to happen, that it seemed quite dull and stupid
for life to go on in the common way.
So she set to work, and very soon finished off the cake.

t $ $ 1 $J $ $ I 1 1 6 %














DRINK

ME


Or
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CHAPTER II


The Pool of Tears

"C URIOUSER and curiouser," cried Alice (she was
so much surprised that for the moment she
quite forgot how to speak good English); "now I'm
opening out like the largest telescope that ever was!
Good-by, feet" (for when she looked down at her feet,
they seemed to be almost out of sight they were getting
so far off). "Oh my poor little feet, I wonder who will
put on your shoes and stockings for you now, dears? I'm
sure I shan't be able! I shall be a great deal too far off
to trouble myself about you: you must manage the best
way you can; but I must be kind to them," thought
Alice, "or perhaps they won't walk the way I want to
go! Let me see: I'll give them a new pair of boots
every Christmas."
And she went on planning to herself how she would
manage it. "They must go by the carrier," she thought;
"and how funny it'll seem, sending presents to one's own
feet. And how odd the directions will look!
Alice's Right Foot, Esq.
Hearthrug,
near the Fender,
(with Alice's love.)
"Oh dear, what nonsense I'm talking."
'9









Adventures in Wonderland


Just at this moment her head struck against the roof of
the hall; in fact she was now rather more than nine feet
high, and she at once took up the little golden key and
hurried off to the garden door.
Poor Alice! It was as much as she could do, lying
down on one side, to look through into the garden with
one eye: but to get through was more hopeless than ever:-
she sat down and began to cry again.
"You ought to be ashamed of yourself," said Alice, "a
great girl like you" (she might well say this), "to go on
crying in this way! Stop this moment, I tell you!" But
she went on all the same, shedding gallons of tears, until
there was a large pool all round her, about four inches
deep and reaching half down the hall.
After a time she heard a little pattering of feet in the
distance, and she hastily dried her eyes to see what was
coming. It was the White Rabbit returning, splendidly
dressed, with a pair of white kid gloves in one hand and
a large fan in the other: he came trotting along in a
great hurry, muttering to himself as he came, "Oh! the
Duchess, the Duchess! Oh! won't she be savage if I've
kept her waiting?" Alice felt so desperate that she was
ready to ask help of any one; so, when the Rabbit came
near her, she began, in a low, timid voice, If you please,
sir- The Rabbit started violently, dropped the white
kid gloves and the fan, and skurried away into the dark-
ness as hard as he could go.
Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, as the hall was
20








The Pool of Tears


very hot, she kept fanning herself all the time she went
on talking. "Dear, dear! How queer everything is to-
day! And yesterday things went on just as usual. I won-
der if I've been changed in the night? Let me think:
was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost
think I can remember feeling a little different. But if
I'm not the same, the next question is, who in the world
am I? Ah that's the great puzzle!" And she began
thinking over all the children she knew, that were of
the same age as herself, to see if she could have been
changed for any of them.
"I'm sure I'm not Ada," she said, "for her hair goes
in such long ringlets, and mine doesn't go in ringlets at
all; and I 'm sure I can't be Mabel, for I know all sorts
of things, and she, oh! she knows such a very little! Be-
sides, she's she, and I'm I, and-oh dear, how puzzling it
all is! I'll try if I know all the things I used to know.
Let me see: four times five is twelve, and four times six
is thirteen, and four times seven is-oh dear! I shall
never get to twenty at that rate! However the multipli-
cation table don't signify: let's try geography. London is
the capital of Paris, and Paris is the capital of Rome,
and Rome-no, that's all wrong, I'm certain! I must
have changed for Mabel! I'll try and say 'How doth the
little-' and she crossed her hands on her lap, as if she
were saying lessons, and began to repeat it, but her
voice sounded hoarse and strange, and the words did not
come the same as they used to do:
21









Adventures in Wonderland


How doth the little crocodile
Improve his shining tail,
And pours the waters of the Nile
On every golden scale !

How cheerfully he seems to grin,
How neatly spreads his claws,
And welcomes little fishes in
With gently smiling jaws !"

I'm sure those are not the right words," said poor
Alice, and her eyes filled with tears again as she went on,
"I must be Mabel after all, and I shall have to go and
live in that poky little house, and have next to no toys
to play with, and oh! ever so many lessons to learn!
No, I've made up my mind about it; if I'm Mabel, I'll
stay down here! It'll be no use their putting their heads
down and saying, 'Come up again, dear!' I shall only
look up and say, Who am I, then? Tell me that first,
and then, if I like being that person, I'll come up; if
not, I'll stay down here till I'm somebody else'-but, oh
dear!" cried Alice with a sudden burst of tears, "I do
wish they would put their heads down! I am so very
tired of being all alone here!"
As she said this, she looked down at her hands, and
was surprised to see that she had put on one of the Rab-
bit's little white kid gloves while she was talking. "How
can I have done that?" she thought. "I must be grow-
ing small again." She got up and went to the table to
measure herself by it, and found that, as nearly as she
could guess, she was now about two feet high, and was
22









The Pool of Tears


going on shrinking rapidly; she soon found out that the
cause of this was the fan she was holding, and she
dropped it hastily, just in time to save herself from shrink-
ing away altogether.
"That was a narrow escape!" said Alice, a good deal
frightened at the sudden change, but very glad to find
herself still in existence; and now for the garden," and
she ran with all her speed back to the little door; but
alas! the little door was shut again, and the little golden
key was lying on the glass table as before, "and things
are worse than ever," thought the poor child, "for I
never was so small as this before, never! And I declare
it's too bad, that it is!"
As she said these words her foot slipped, and in an-
other moment, splash! she was up to her chin in salt
water. Her first idea was that she had somehow fallen
into the sea, "and in that case I can go back by railway,"
she said to herself. (Alice had been at the seaside once in
her life, and had come to the general conclusion, that
wherever you go to on the English coast you find a
number of bathing machines in the sea, some children
digging in the sand with wooden spades, then a row of
lodging houses, and behind them a railway station.) How-
ever, she soon made out that she was in the pool of tears
which she had wept when she was nine feet high.
"I wish I hadn't cried so much!" said Alice as she
swam about, trying to find her way out. I shall be
punished for it now, I suppose, by being drowned in my
23








Adventures in Wonderland


own tears. That will be a queer thing, to be sure!
However, everything is queer to-day."
Just then she heard something splashing about in the
pool a little way off, and she swam nearer to make out
what it was; at first she thought it must be a walrus or
hippopotamus, but then she remembered how small she
was now, and she soon made out that it was only a
mouse, that had slipped in like herself.
"Would it be of any use, now," thought Alice, "to
speak to this mouse? Everything is so out-of-the-way
down here, that I should think very likely it can talk; at
any rate there's no harm in trying." So she began; 0
Mouse, do you know the way out of this pool? I am
very tired of swimming about here, 0 Mouse!" (Alice
thought this must be the right way of speaking to a
mouse; she had never done such a thing before, but she
remembered having seen in her brother's Latin grammar,
"A mouse-of a mouse-to a mouse-a mouse-O
mouse! ") The Mouse looked at her rather inquisitively,
and seemed to her to wink with one of its little
eyes, but it said nothing.
"Perhaps it doesn't understand English," thought Alice;
"I daresay it's a French Mouse, come over with William
the Conqueror." (For, with all her knowledge of history,
Alice had no very clear notion how long ago anything
had happened.) So she began again: Oi est ma chatte ? "
which was the first sentence in her French lesson-book.
The Mouse gave a sudden leap out of the water, and
24









The Pool of Tears

seemed to quiver all over with fright. Oh, I beg your
pardon! cried Alice hastily, afraid that she had hurt the
poor animal's feelings. "I quite forgot you didn't like
cats."
"Not like cats!" cried the Mouse in a shrill passionate
voice. "Would you like cats if you were me?"
"Well, perhaps not," said Alice in a soothing tone:
"don't be angry about it. And yet I wish I could show
you our cat Dinah: I think you'd take a fancy to cats if
you could only see her. She is such a dear quiet thing,"
Alice went on, half to herself, as she swam lazily about
in the pool, "and she sits purring so nicely by the fire
licking her paws and washing her face-and she is such
a nice soft thing to nurse-and she's a capital one for
catching mice- oh, I beg your pardon!" cried Alice
again, for this time the Mouse was bristling all over, and
she felt certain it must be really offended. "We won't
talk about her any more if you'd rather not."
"We, indeed!" cried the Mouse, who was trembling
down to the end of his tail. "As if I would talk on
such a subject! Our family always hated cats: nasty, low,
vulgar things! Don't let me hear the name again!"
"I won't indeed!" said Alice, in a great hurry to
change the subject of conversation. "Are you-are you
fond-of-of dogs?" The Mouse did not answer, so
Alice went on eagerly: "There is such a nice little dog
near our house I should like to show you! A little
bright-eyed terrier, you know, with oh! such long curly
25








Adventures in Wonderland


brown hair! And it'll fetch things when you throw
them, and it'll sit up and beg for its dinner, and all sorts
of things-I can't remember half of them-and it belongs
to a farmer, you know, and he says it's so useful it's
worth a hundred pounds! He says it kills all the rats
and- oh dear!" cried Alice in a sorrowful tone.
"I'm afraid I've offended it again!" For the Mouse
was swimming away from her as hard as it could go,
and making quite a commotion in the pool as it went.
So she called softly after it: "Mouse dear! Do come
back again, and we won't talk about cats or dogs either,
if you don't like them!" When the Mouse heard this it
turned round and swam slowly back to her: its face was
quite pale (with passion, Alice thought), and it said in a
low, trembling voice, "Let us get to the shore, and then
I'll tell you my history, and you'll understand why it is I
hate cats and dogs."
It was high time to go, for the pool was getting quite
crowded with the birds and animals that had fallen into
it: there was a Duck and a Dodo, a Lory and an Eaglet,
and several other curious creatures. Alice led the way,
and the whole party swam to the shore.




































































0I









(h

















BwNH-&M SM










CHAPTER III


A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale

T HEY were indeed a queer-looking party that as-
sembled on the bank-the birds with draggled
feathers, the animals with their fur clinging close to
them, and all dripping wet, cross, and uncomfortable.
The first question of course was, how to get dry again:
they had a consultation about this, and after a few minutes
it seemed quite natural to Alice to find herself talking
familiarly with them, as if she had known them all her
life. Indeed, she had quite a long argument with the
Lory, who at last turned sulky, and would only say, "I
am older than you, and must know better;" and this
Alice would not allow, without knowing how old it was,
and as the Lory positively refused to tell its age, there
was no more to be said.
At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of some
authority among them, called out, Sit down, all of you,
and listen to me! I'll soon make you dry enough!"
They all sat down at once, in a large ring, with the
Mouse in the middle. Alice kept her eyes anxiously
fixed on it, for she felt sure she would catch a bad cold
if she did not get dry very soon.
"Ahem! said the Mouse with an important air, are
you all ready? This is the dryest thing I know. Silence
all round, if you please! 'William the Conqueror, whose
cause was favored by the pope, was soon submitted to by
27








Adventures in Wonderland


the English, who wanted leaders, and had been of late
much accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and
Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria- "
Ugh said the Lory, with a shiver.
"I beg your pardon!" said the Mouse, frowning, but
very politely: "Did you speak?"
"Not I said the Lory, hastily.
"I thought you did," said the Mouse. "I proceed.
'Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and North-
umbria, declared for him; and even Stigand, the patriotic
archbishop of Canterbury, found it advisable- '"
"Found what ?" said the Duck.
"Found it," the Mouse replied rather crossly: "of
course you know what 'it' means."
I know what 'it' means well enough when I find a
thing," said the Duck: "it's generally a frog or a worm.
The question is, what did the archbishop find?"
The Mouse did not notice this question, but hurriedly
went on, 'Found it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling
to meet William and offer him the crown. William's
conduct at first was moderate. But the insolence of his
Normans How are you getting on now, my dear?"
it continued, turning to Alice as he spoke.
"As wet as ever," said Alice in a melancholy tone: "it
doesn't seem to dry me at all."
"In that case," said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its
feet, "I move that the meeting adjourn, for the imme-
diate adoption of more energetic remedies- "
28








A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale

"Speak English!" said the Eaglet. "I don't know the
meaning of half those long words, and what's more, I
don't believe you do either!" And the Eaglet bent down
his head to hide a smile: some of the other birds tittered
audibly.
"What I was going to say," said the Dodo in an
offended tone, "was, that the best thing to get us dry
would be a caucus-race."
"What is a caucus-race?" said Alice; not that she
much wanted to know, but the Dodo had paused as
if it thought that somebody ought to speak, and no one
else seemed inclined to say anything.
"Why," said the Dodo, "the best way to explain it is
to do it." (And as you might like to try the thing your-
self, some winter day, I will tell you how the Dodo
managed it.)
First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle
(" the exact shape doesn't matter," it said), and then all
the party were placed along the course, here and there.
There was no "One, two, three, and away," but they
began running when they liked and left off when they
liked, so that it was not easy to know when the race was
over. However, when they had been running half an
hour or so, and were quite dry again, the Dodo suddenly
called out, "The race is over!" and they all crowded
round it, panting, and asking, "But who has won?"
This question the Dodo could not answer without a
great deal of thought, and it sat for a long time with









Adventures in Wonderland


one finger pressed upon its forehead (the position in which
you usually see Shakespeare, in the pictures of him), while
the rest waited in silence. At last the Dodo said, "Every-
hody has won, and all must have prizes."
"But who is to give the prizes?" quite a chorus of
voices asked.
Why she, of course," said the Dodo, pointing to Alice
with one finger; and the whole party at once crowded
round her, calling out in a confused way, Prizes,
prizes! "
Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put
her hand into her pocket, and pulled out a box of com-
fits (luckily the salt water had not got into it), and
handed them round as prizes. There was exactly one
a-piece, all round.
"But she must have a prize herself, you know," said
the Mouse.
"Of course," the Dodo replied very gravely. "What
else have you got in your pocket ?" he went on, turning
to Alice.
"Only a thimble," said Alice sadly.
Hand it over here," said the Dodo.
Then they all crowded round her once more, while
the Dodo solemnly presented the thimble, saying, "We
beg your acceptance of this elegant thimble;" and,
when it had finished this short speech, they all cheered.
Alice thought the whole thing very absurd, but they
all looked so grave that she did not dare to laugh, and as
30








A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale

she could not think of anything to say, she simply bowed,
and took the thimble, looking as solemn as she could.
The next thing was to eat the comfits: this caused
some noise and confusion, as the large birds complained
that they could not taste theirs, and the small ones choked
and had to be patted on the back. However, it was over
at last, and they sat down again in a ring, and begged
the Mouse to tell them something more.
"You promised to tell me your history, you know,"
said Alice, "and why it is you hate-C and D," she
added in a whisper, half afraid that it would be offended
again.
"Mine is a long and a sad tale!" said the Mouse, turn-
ing to Alice, and sighing.
It is a long tail, certainly," said Alice, looking down
with wonder at the Mouse's tail; "but why do you call
it sad?" And she kept on puzzling about it while the
Mouse was speaking, so that her idea of the tale was
something like this:












Adventures in Wonderland


--" Fury said to
a mouse, That
he met
in the
house,
'Let us
both go
to law:
I will
prosecute
you.-
Come, I'll
take no
denial:
We must
have a
trial;
For
really
this
morning
I've
nothing
to do.'
Said the
mouse to
the cur,
Such a
trial,
dear sir,
With no
jury or
judge,
would be
wasting
our breath.'
I'll be
judge,
I'll be
jury,'
Said
cunning
old Fury;
I'll try
the whole
cause
and
conderm
you
to
death.'"








A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale

"You are not attending!" said the Mouse to Alice,
severely. "What are you thinking of?"
"I beg your pardon," said Alice very humbly; "you
had got to the fifth bend, I think?"
"I had not!" cried the Mouse, sharply and very angrily.
"A knot!" said Alice, always ready to make herself
useful, and looking anxiously about her. "Oh, do let me
help to undo it!"
"I shall do nothing of the sort," said the Mouse, get-
ting up and walking away. "You insult me by talking
such nonsense! "
I didn't mean it!" pleaded poor Alice. "But you're
so easily offended, you know!"
The Mouse only growled in reply.
Please come back, and finish your story!" Alice
called after it; and the others all joined in chorus, Yes,
please do!" but the Mouse only shook its head impatiently,
and walked a little quicker.
"What a pity it wouldn't stay!" said the Lory, as soon
as it was quite out of sight; and an old crab took the
opportunity of saying to her daughter, "Ah, my dear!
Let this be a lesson to you never to lose your temper!"
" Hold your tongue, ma!" said the young crab, a little
snappishly. "You're enough to try the patience of an
oyster! "
I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do!" said
Alice aloud, addressing nobody in particular. "She'd
soon fetch it back!"








Adventures in Wonderland


"And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask the
question ?" said the Lory.
Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to talk
about her pet. "Dinah's our cat. And she's such a cap-
ital one for catching mice, you can't think! And oh, I
wish you could see her after the birds! Why, she'll eat
a little bird as soon as look at it!"
This speech caused a remarkable sensation among the
party. Some of the birds hurried off at once: one old
magpie began wrapping itself up very carefully, remarking,
"I really must be getting home; the night air doesn't
suit my throat! and a canary called out in a trembling
voice to its children, Come away, my dears! It's high
time you were all in bed!" On various pretexts they all
moved off, and Alice was soon left alone.
"I wish I hadn't mentioned Dinah!" she said to her-
self in a melancholy tone. "Nobody seems to like her,
down here, and I'm sure she's the best cat in the world!
Oh, my dear Dinah! I wonder if I shall ever see you
any more!" And here poor Alice began to cry again, for
she felt very lonely and low-spirited. In a little while,
however, she again heard a little pattering of footsteps in
the distance, and she looked up eagerly, half hoping that
the Mouse had changed his mind, and was coming back
to finish his story.










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CHAPTER IV


The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill

IT was the White Rabbit, trotting slowly back again,
and looking anxiously about as it went, as if it had
lost something; and she heard it muttering to itself, "The
Duchess! The Duchess! Oh my dear paws! Oh my
fur and whiskers! She'll get me executed, as sure as fer-
rets are ferrets! Where can I have dropped them, I won-
der!" Alice guessed in a moment that it was looking
for the fan and the pair of white kid gloves, and she very
good-naturedly began hunting about for them, but they
were nowhere to be seen-everything seemed to have
changed since her swim in the pool, and the great hall,
with the glass table and the little door, had vanished
completely.
Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice, as she went hunt-
ing about, and called out to her in an angry tone, "Why,
Mary Ann, what are you doing out here ? Run home
this moment, and fetch me a pair of gloves and a fan!
Quick, now!" And Alice was so much frightened that
she ran off at once in the direction it pointed to, with-
out trying to explain the mistake that it had made.
He took me for his housemaid," she said to herself
as she ran. "How surprised he'll be when he finds out
who I am! But I'd better take him his fan and gloves
-that is, if I can find them." As she said this, she
came upon a neat little house, on the door of which was
35








Adventures in Wonderland


a bright brass plate with the name "W. RABBIT" en-
graved upon it. She went in without knocking, and
hurried upstairs, in great fear lest she should meet the real
Mary Ann, and be turned out of the house before she
had found the fan and gloves.
"How queer it seems," Alice said to herself, "to be
going messages for a rabbit! I suppose Dinah'll be send-
ing me on messages next!" And she began fancying the
sort of thing that would happen: "'Miss Alice! Come
here directly, and get ready for your walk!' 'Coming in
a minute, nurse! But I've got to watch this mousehole
till Dinah comes back, and see that the mouse doesn't get
out.' Only I don't think," Alice went on, "that they'd
let Dinah stop in the house if it began ordering people
about like that! "
By this time she had found her way into a tidy little
room with a table in the window, and on it (as she had
hoped) a fan and two or three pairs of tiny white kid
gloves: she took up the fan and a pair of the gloves, and
was just going to leave the room, when her eyes fell upon
a little bottle that stood near the looking-glass. There
was no label this time with the words "DRINK ME," but
nevertheless she uncorked it and put it to her lips. "I
know something interesting is sure to happen," she said to
herself, "whenever I eat or drink anything; so I'll just see
what this bottle does. I do hope it'll make me grow
large again, for really I'm quite tired of being such a tiny
little thing!"








The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill

It did so indeed, and much sooner than she had
expected, before she had drunk half the bottle, she found
her head pressing against the ceiling, and had to stoop to
save her neck from being broken. She hastily put down
the bottle, saying to herself, "That's quite enough-I hope
I shan't grow any more-As it is, I can't get out at the
door-I do wish I hadn't drunk quite so much!"
Alas! It was too late to wish that! She went on
growing and growing, and very soon had to kneel down
on the floor: in another minute there was not even room
for this, and she tried the effect of lying down, with one
elbow against the door, and the other arm curled round
her head. Still she went on growing, and, as a last re-
source, she put one arm out of the window, and one foot
up the chimney and said to herself, "Now I can do no
more, whatever happens. What will become of me?"
Luckily for Alice, the little magic bottle had now had
its full effect, and she grew no larger: still it was very
uncomfortable, and, as there seemed to be no sort of
chance of her ever getting out of the room again, no
wonder she felt unhappy.
"It was much pleasanter at home," thought poor Alice,
"when one wasn't always growing larger and smaller,
and being ordered about by mice and rabbits. I almost
wish I hadn't gone down that rabbit-hole-and yet-and
yet-it's rather curious, you know, this sort of life! I do
wonder what can have happened to me! When I used
to read fairy-tales, I fancied that kind of thing never hap-
37








Adventures in Wonderland


opened, and now here I am in the middle of one. There
ought to be a book written about me, that there ought!
And when I grow up, I'll write one-but I'm grown up
now," she added in a sorrowful tone, "at least there's no
room to grow up any more here."
"But then," thought Alice, "shall I never get any
older than I am now? That'll be a comfort, one way
-never to be an old woman-but then always to have
lessons to learn! Oh, I shouldn't like that."
"Oh, you foolish Alice!" she answered herself. "How
can you learn lessons in here? Why, there's hardly room
for you, and no room at all for any lesson-books!"
And so she went on, talking first to one side and then
the other, and making quite a conversation of it altogether,
but after a few minutes she heard a voice, outside, and
stopped to listen.
"Mary Ann! Mary Ann!" said the voice, "fetch me
my gloves this moment!" Then came a little pattering
of feet on the stairs. Alice knew it was the Rabbit com-
ing to look for her, and she trembled till she shook the
house, quite forgetting that she was now about a thousand
times as large as the Rabbit, and had no reason to be
afraid of it.
Presently the Rabbit came up to the door, and tried to
open it, but as the door opened inward, and Alice's elbow
was pressed hard against it, that attempt proved a failure.
Alice heard it say to itself, "Then I'll go round and get
in at the window."








The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill

That you won't! thought Alice, and, after waiting
till she fancied she heard the Rabbit just under the win-
dow, she suddenly spread out her hand, and made a snatch
in the air. She did not get hold of anything, but she
heard a little shriek and a fall, and a crash of broken glass,
from which she concluded that it was just possible it had
fallen into a cucumber-frame, or something of the sort.
Next came an angry voice-the Rabbit's-" Pat! Pat!
Where are you?" And then a voice she had never heard
before, "Sure then I'm here! Digging for apples, yer
honor!"
Digging for apples, indeed!" said the Rabbit angrily.
"Here! Come and help me out of this!" (Sounds of
more broken glass.)
"Now tell me, Pat, what's that in the window?"
"Sure, it's an arm, yer honor!" (He pronounced it
"arrum.")
"An arm, you goose! Who ever saw one that size?
Why, it fills the whole window!"
T Sure it does, yer honor; but it's an arm for all that."
"Well, it's got no business there, at any rate; go and
take it away! "
There was a long silence after this, and Alice could
only hear whispers now and then, such as, Sure I don't
like it, yer honor, at all at all!"
"Do as I tell you, you coward!" and at last she
spread out her hand again and made another snatch in
the air. This time there were two little shrieks, and
39








Adventures in Wonderland


more sounds of broken glass. "What a number of cu-
cumber frames there must be!" thought Alice. "I won-
der what they'll do next! As for pulling me out of
the window, I only wish they could. I'm sure I don't
want to stay in here any longer!"
She waited for some time without hearing anything
more: at last came a rumbling of little cart-wheels, and
the sound of a good many, voices all talking together;
she made out the words, "Where's the other ladder?-
Why, I hadn't to bring but one; Bill's got the other-
Bill! fetch it here, lad!-Here, put 'em up at this corner
-No, tie 'em together first-they don't reach half high
enough yet-Oh, they'll do well enough; don't be partic-
ular-Here, Bill! catch hold of this rope-Will the roof
bear?-Mind that loose slate-Oh, it's coming down!
Heads below!" (a loud crash)-" Now, who did that?
-It was Bill, I fancy-Who's to go down the chimney?
-Nay, I shan't! rou do it ?-That I won't then!-Bill's
got to go down-Here, Bill! the master says you've got to
go down the chimney!"
Oh, so Bill's got to come down the chimney, has
he?" said Alice to herself. "Why, they seem to put
everything upon Bill! I wouldn't be in Bill's place for a
good deal; this fireplace is narrow, to be sure, but I think
I can kick a little."
She drew her foot as far down the chimney as she
could, and waited till she heard a little animal (she
couldn't guess of what sort it was) scratching and scram-
40









The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill

bling about in the chimney close above her; then, saying
to herself, "This is Bill," she gave one sharp kick, and
waited to see what would happen next.
The first thing she heard was a general chorus of
"There goes Bill!" then the Rabbit's voice alone, "Catch
him, you by the hedge!" then silence, and then another
confusion of voices-" Hold up his head-Brandy now-
Don't choke him-How was it, old fellow? What hap-
pened to you? Tell us all about it!"
Last came a little feeble squeaking voice ("That's Bill,"
thought Alice), Well, I hardly know-no more, thank'ye,
I'm better now-but I'm a deal too flustered to tell you
-all I know is, something comes at me like a Jack-in-
the-box, and up I goes like a sky-rocket!"
So you did, old fellow !" said the others.
"We must burn the house down!" said the Rabbit's
voice, and Alice called out as loud as she could, "If you
do, I'll set Dinah at you!"
There was a dead silence instantly, and Alice thought
to herself, "I wonder what they will do next! If
they had any sense, they'd take the roof off." After
a minute or two they began moving about again, and
Alice heard the Rabbit say, "A barrowful will do, to
begin with."
A barrowful of what ?" thought Alice; but she had
not long to doubt, for the next moment a shower of little
pebbles came rattling in at the window, and some of
them hit her in the face. "I'll put a stop to this," she
41








Adventures in Wonderland


said to herself, and shouted out, "You'd better not do
that again!" which produced another dead silence.
Alice noticed with some surprise that the pebbles were
all turning into little cakes as they lay on the floor, and
a bright idea came into her head. "If I eat one of
these cakes," she thought, "it's sure to make some change
in my size: and as it can't possibly make me larger, it
must make me smaller, I suppose."
So she swallowed one of the cakes, and was delighted
to find that she began shrinking directly. As soon as she
was small enough to get through the door, she ran out of
the house, and found quite a crowd of little animals and
birds waiting outside. The poor little lizard, Bill, was in
the middle, being held up by two guinea-pigs, who were
giving it something out of a bottle. They all made a
rush at Alice the moment she appeared, but she ran off
as hard as she could, and soon found herself safe in a
thick wood.
"The first thing I've got to do," said Alice to herself,
as she wandered about in the wood, "is to grow to my
right size again; and the second thing is to find my way
into that lovely garden. I think that will be the best
plan.
It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, and very neatly
and simply arranged; the only difficulty was, that she had
not the smallest idea how to set about it; and while she
was peering about anxiously among the trees, a little sharp
bark just over her head made her look up in a great hurry.
42








The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill

An enormous puppy was looking down at her with
large round eyes, and feebly stretching out one paw, try-
ing to touch her. "Poor little thing!" said Alice in a
coaxing tone, and she tried hard to whistle to it, but she
was terribly frightened all the time at the thought that it
might be hungry, in which case it would be very likely
to eat her up in spite of all her coaxing.
Hardly knowing what she did, she picked up a little
bit of stick, and held it out to the puppy; whereupon
the puppy jumped into the air off all its feet at once,
with a yelp of delight, and rushed at the stick, and made
believe to worry it; then Alice dodged behind a great
thistle, to keep herself from being run over, and, the mo-
ment she appeared on the other side, the puppy made an-
other rush at the stick, and tumbled head over heels in its
hurry to get hold of it; then Alice, thinking it was very
like having a game of play with a cart-horse, and expecting
every moment to be trampled under his feet, ran round
the thistle again; then the puppy began a series of short
charges at the stick, running a very little way forward
each time and a long way back, and barking hoarsely all
the while, till at last it sat down a good way off, panting,
with its tongue hanging out of its mouth, and its great
eyes half shut.
This seemed to Alice a good opportunity for making
her escape, so she set off at once, and ran till she was
quite tired and out of breath, and till the puppy's bark
sounded quite faint in the distance.








Adventures in Wonderland


"And yet what a dear little puppy it was," said Alice,
as she leaned against a buttercup to rest herself, and fanned
herself with one of the leaves: "I should have liked
teaching it tricks very much, if-if I'd only been the
right size to do it! Oh dear! I'd nearly forgotten that
I've got to grow up again. Let me see-how is it to be
managed? I suppose I ought to eat or drink something
or other; but the great question is, what?"
The great question certainly was, what? Alice looked
all round her at the flowers and the blades of grass, but
she could not see anything that looked like the right
thing to eat or drink under the circumstances. There
was a large mushroom growing near her, about the same
height as herself, and when she had looked under it, and
on both sides of it, and behind it, it occurred to her that
she might as well look and see what was on top of it.
She stretched herself up on tiptoe, and peeped over the
edge of the mushroom, and her eyes immediately met
those of a large blue caterpillar, that was sitting on the
top with its arms folded, quietly smoking a long hookah,
and taking not the smallest notice of her or of anything
else.





















































































































































.'tt ,d.^










CHAPTER V


Advice from a Caterpillar

THE Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other in
silence: at last the Caterpillar took the hookah
out of its mouth, and addressed her in a languid, sleepy
voice.
"Who are you?" said the Caterpillar.
This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation.
Alice replied rather shyly, "I-I hardly know, sir, just at
present-at least I know who I was when I got up this
morning, but I think I must have been changed several
times since then."
"What do you mean by that?" said the Caterpillar
sternly. Explain yourself."
"I cannot explain myself, I'm afraid, sir," said Alice,
"because I'm not myself, you see."
"I don't see," said the Caterpillar.
"I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly," Alice replied
very politely, "for I can't understand it myself to begin
with; and being so many different sizes in a day is very
confusing."
"It isn't," said the Caterpillar.
"Well, perhaps you haven't found it so yet," said
Alice; "but when you have to turn into a chrysalis-you
will some day, you know-and then after that into a but-
terfly, I should think you'll feel it a little queer, won't
you?"








Adventures in Wonderland


"Not a bit," said the Caterpillar.
"Well, perhaps your feelings may be different," said
Alice; "all I know is, it would feel very queer to me."
"You!" said the Caterpillar contemptuously. Who
are you ? "
Which brought them back again to the beginning of
the conversation. Alice felt a little irritated at the cater-
pillar's making such very short remarks, and she drew
herself up and said, very gravely, I think you ought to
tell me who you are, first."
"Why?" said the Caterpillar.
Here was another puzzling question; and, as Alice could
not think of any good reason, and as the Caterpillar seemed
to be in a very unpleasant state of mind, she turned away.
"Come back!" the Caterpillar called after her. "I've
something important to say!"
This sounded promising, certainly: Alice turned and
came back again.
"Keep your temper," said the Caterpillar.
Is that all?" said Alice, swallowing down her anger as
well as she could.
"No," said the Caterpillar.
Alice thought she might as well wait, as she had noth-
ing else to do, and perhaps after all it might tell her
something worth hearing. For some minutes it puffed
away without speaking, but at last it unfolded its arms,
took the hookah out of its mouth again, and said, So
you think you're changed, do you?"
46









Advice from a Caterpillar

"I'm afraid I am, sir," said Alice; "I can't remember
things as I used-and I don't keep the same size for ten
minutes together!"
"Can't remember what things?" said the Caterpillar.
"Well, I've tried to say 'How doth the little busy
bee,' but it all came different! Alice replied in a very
melancholy voice.
"Repeat 'Tou are old, Father William,' said the Cater-
pillar.
Alice folded her hands, and began:-


"' You are old, Father William,' the young man said,
And your hair has become very white;
And yet you incessantly stand on your head-
Do you think, at your age, it is right?'


'In my youth,' Father William replied to his son,
I feared it might injure the brain;
But now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
Why, I do it again and again.'


"'You are old,' said the youth, as I mentioned before,
And have grown most uncommonly fat;
Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door-
Pray, what is the reason of that ?'


"'In my youth,' said the sage, as he shook his gray locks,
I kept all my limbs very supple
By the use of this ointment-one shilling the box-
Allow me to sell you a couple.'









Adventures in Wonderland


"'You are old,' said the youth, and your jaws are too weak
For anything tougher than suet;
Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak:
Pray how did you manage to do it?'


"'In my youth,' said his father, 'I took to the law,
And argued each case with my wife;
And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,
Has lasted the rest of my life.'


"'You are old,' said the youth; one would hardly suppose
That your eye was as steady as ever;
Yet you balance an eel on the end of your nose-
What made you so awfully clever?'


"' I have answered three questions, and that is enough,'
Said his father; 'don't give yourself airs.
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff ?
Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!'"


"That is not said right," said the Caterpillar.
"Not quite right, I'm afraid," said Alice timidly; "some
of the words have got altered."
"It is wrong from beginning to end," said the Cater-
pillar decidedly, and there was silence for some minutes.
The Caterpillar was the first to speak.
"What size do you want to be?" it asked.
Oh, I'm not particular as to size," Alice hastily
replied; "only one doesn't like changing so often, you
know."
"I don't know," said the Caterpillar.
48








Advice from a Caterpillar

Alice said nothing: she had never been so much con-
tradicted in all her life before, and she felt that she was
losing her temper.
"Are you content now?" said the Caterpillar.
"Well, I should like to be a little larger, sir, if you
wouldn't mind," said Alice: "three inches is such a
wretched height to be."
It is a very good height indeed!" said the Cater-
pillar angrily, rearing itself upright as it spoke (it was
exactly three inches high).
"But I'm not used to it!" pleaded poor Alice in a
piteous tone. And she thought to herself, "I wish the
creatures wouldn't be so easily offended!"
"You'll get used to it in time," said the Caterpillar;
and it put the hookah into its mouth and began smok-
ing again.
This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak
again. In a minute or two the Caterpillar took the
hookah out of its mouth and yawned once or twice, and
shook itself Then it got down off the mushroom, and
crawled away into the grass, merely remarking as it went,
"One side will make you grow taller, and the other side
will make you grow shorter."
"One side of what? The other side of what?" thought
Alice to herself
"Of the mushroom," said the Caterpillar just as if she
asked it aloud; and in another moment it was out of sight.
Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom
49








Adventures in Wonderland


for a minute trying to make out which were the two
sides of it; and, as it was perfectly round, she found this
a very difficult question. However, at last she stretched
her arms round it as far as they could go, and broke off
a bit of the edge with each hand.
"And now which is which?" she said to herself, and
nibbled a little of the right-hand bit to try the effect: the
next moment she felt a violent blow underneath her chin;
it had struck her foot!
She was a good deal frightened by this very sudden
change, but she felt that there'was no time to be lost, as
she was shrinking rapidly; so she set to work at once to
eat some of the other bit. Her chin was pressed so
closely against her foot, that there was hardly room to
open her mouth; but she did it at last, and managed to
swallow a morsel of the left-hand bit.




Come, my head's free at last!" said Alice in a tone
of delight, which changed into alarm in another moment,
when she found that her shoulders were nowhere to be
found: all she could see, when she looked down, was an
immense length of neck, which seemed to rise like a stalk
out of a sea of green leaves that lay far below her.
"What can all that green stuff be?" said Alice. "And
where have my shoulders got to? And oh, my poor
hands, how is it I can't see you?" She was moving
50








Advice from a Caterpillar

them about as she spoke, but no results seemed to follow,
except a little shaking among the distant green leaves.
As there seemed to be no chance of getting her hands
up to her head, she tried to get her head down to them,
and was delighted to find that her neck would bend about
easily in any direction, like a serpent. She had just suc-
ceeded in curving it down into a graceful zigzag, and
was going to dive in among the leaves, which she found
to be nothing but the tops of the trees under which she
had been wandering, when a sharp hiss made her draw
back in a hurry: a large pigeon had flown into her face,
and was beating her violently with its wings.
"Serpent!" screamed the Pigeon.
"I'm not a serpent!" said Alice indignantly. "Let me
alone! "
Serpent, I say again!" repeated the Pigeon, but in a
more subdued tone, and added with a kind of sob, "I've
tried every way, and nothing seems to suit them!"
"I haven't the least idea what you're talking about,"
said Alice.
I've tried the roots of trees, and I've tried banks, and
I've tried hedges," the Pigeon went on, without attending
to her; "but those serpents! There's no pleasing them!"
Alice was more and more puzzled, but she thought
there was no use in saying anything more till the Pigeon
had finished.
"As if it wasn't trouble enough hatching the eggs,"
said the Pigeon, "but I must be on the lookout for ser-








Adventures in Wonderland


pents night and day? Why, I haven't had a wink of
sleep these three weeks!"
"I'm very sorry you've been annoyed," said Alice, who
was beginning to see its meaning.
"And just as I'd taken the highest tree in the wood,"
continued the Pigeon, raising its voice to a shriek, "and
just as I was thinking I should be free of them at last,
they must needs come wriggling down from the sky!
Ugh! Serpent!"
"But I'm not a serpent, I tell you!" said Alice, "I'm
a- I'm a-"
"Well! What are you?" said the Pigeon. "I can
see you're trying to invent something!"
"I-I'm a little girl," said Alice, rather doubtfully, as
she remembered the number of changes she had gone
through that day.
"A likely story indeed!" said the Pigeon in a tone of
the deepest contempt. I've seen a good many little girls
in my time, but never one with such a neck as that!
No, no! You're a serpent; and there's no use denying it.
I suppose you'll be telling me next that you never tasted
an egg!"
"I have tasted eggs, certainly," said Alice, who was a
very truthful child; "but little girls eat eggs quite as
much as serpents do, you know."
"I don't believe it," said the Pigeon; "but if they do,
why then they're a kind of serpent, that's all I can say."
This was such a new idea to Alice, that she was quite








Advice from a Caterpillar

silent for a minute or two, which gave the Pigeon the op-
portunity of adding, "You're looking for eggs, I know
that well enough; and what does it matter to me whether
you're a little girl or a serpent?"
It matters a good deal to me," said Alice hastily;
"but I'm not looking for eggs, as it happens; and if I
was, I shouldn't want yours: I don't like them raw."
"Well, be off, then!" said the Pigeon in a sulky tone,
as it settled down again into its nest. Alice crouched
down among the trees as well as she could, for her neck
kept getting entangled among the branches, and every now
and then she had to stop and untwist it. After a while
she remembered that she still held the pieces of mush-
room in her hands, and she set to work very carefully,
nibbling first at one and then at the other, and growing
sometimes taller and sometimes shorter, until she had suc-
ceeded in bringing herself down to her usual height.
It was so long since she had been anything near the
right size, that it felt quite strange at first, but she got
used to it in a few minutes, and began talking to herself
as usual. Come, there's half my plan done now! How
puzzling all these changes are! I'm never sure what I'm
going to be, from one minute to another! However, I've
got back to my right size: the next thing is, to get into
that beautiful garden-how is that to be done, I won-
der?" As she said this, she came suddenly upon an open
place, with a little house in it about four feet high.
" Whoever lives there," thought Alice, it'll never do to
53








Adventures in Wonderland

come upon them this size: why, I should frighten them
out of their wits!" So she began nibbling at the right-
hand bit again, and did not venture to go near the house
till she had brought herself down to nine inches high.













CHAPTER VI


Pig and Pepper

F OR a minute or two she stood looking at the
V house, and wondering what to do next, when
suddenly a footman in livery came running out of the
wood (she considered him to be a footman because he
was in livery: otherwise, judging by his face only, she
would have called him a fish) and rapped loudly at the
door with his knuckles. It was opened by another foot-
man in livery, with a round face and large eyes like a
frog; and both footmen, Alice noticed, had powdered
hair that curled all over their heads. She felt very
curious to know what it was all about, and crept a little
way out of the wood to listen.
The Fish-Footman began by producing from under his
arm a great letter, nearly as large as himself, and this he
handed over to the other, saying in a solemn tone, "For
the Duchess. An invitation from the Queen to play
croquet." The Frog-Footman repeated in the same solemn
tone, only changing the order of the words a little,
" From the Queen. An invitation for the Duchess to
play croquet."
Then they both bowed low, and their curls got en-
tangled together.
Alice laughed so much at this that she had to run back
into the wood for fear of their hearing her, and when she
next peeped out the Fish-Footman was gone, and the other









Adventures in Wonderland


was sitting on the ground near the door, staring stupidly
up into the sky.
Alice went timidly up to the door, and knocked.
"There's no sort of use in knocking," said the Foot-
man, "and that for two reasons. First, because I'm on
the same side of the door as you are; secondly, because
they're making such a noise inside, no one could possibly
hear you." And certainly there was a most extraordinary
noise going on within-a constant howling and sneezing,
and every now and then a great crash, as if a dish or
kettle had been broken to pieces.
"Please, then," said Alice, "how am I to get in?"
"There might be some sense in your knocking," the
Footman went on without attending to her, "if we had
the door between us. For instance, if you were inside,
you might knock, and I could let you out, you know."
He was looking up into the sky all the time he was
speaking, and this Alice thought decidedly uncivil. "But
perhaps he can't help it," she said to herself; his eyes
are so very nearly at the top of his head. But at any rate
he might answer questions-How am I to get in?" she
repeated, aloud.
"I shall sit here," the Footman remarked, "till to-
morrow-"
At this moment the door of the house opened, and a
large plate came skimming out, straight at the Footman's
head: it just grazed his nose, and broke to pieces against
one of the trees behind him.
56








Pig and Pepper

or next day, maybe," the Footman continued in
the same tone, exactly as if nothing had happened.
"How am I to get in?" Alice asked again in a louder
tone.
Are you to get in at all?" said the Footman.
"That's the first question, you know."
It was, no doubt: only Alice did not like to be told so.
"It's really dreadful," she muttered to herself, the way
all the creatures argue. It's enough to drive one crazy!"
The Footman seemed to think this a good opportunity
for repeating his remark, with variations. "I shall sit
here," he said, on and off, for days and days."
"But what am I to do?" said Alice.
Anything you like," said the Footman, and began
whistling.
Oh, there's no use in talking to him," said Alice des-
perately: he's perfectly idiotic!" And she opened the
door and went in.
The door led right into a large kitchen, which was full
of smoke from one end to the other: the Duchess was
sitting on a three-legged stool in the middle, nursing a
baby; the cook was leaning over the fire, stirring a large
caldron which seemed to be full of soup.
"There's certainly too much pepper in that soup!"
Alice said to herself, as well as she could for sneezing.
There was certainly too much of it in the air. Even
the Duchess sneezed occasionally; and as for the baby, it
was sneezing and howling alternately without a moment's
57









Adventures in Wonderland


pause. The only two creatures in the kitchen that did
not sneeze, were the cook, and a large cat which was sit-
ting on the hearth and grinning from ear to ear.
"Please, would you tell me," said Alice, a little timidly,
for she was not quite sure whether it was good manners
for her to speak first, "why your cat grins like that?"
"It's a Cheshire cat," said the Duchess, and that's
why. Pig "

She said the last word with such sudden violence that
Alice quite jumped; but she saw in another moment that
it was addressed to the baby, and not to her, so she took
courage, and went on again.
"I did'nt know Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I
didn't know that cats could grin."
"They all can," said the Duchess; and most of 'em
do."
"I don't know of any that do," Alice said very politely,
feeling quite pleased to have got into a conversation.
"You don't know much," said the Duchess; "and
that's a fact."
Alice did not at all like the tone of this remark, and
thought it would be as well to introduce some other sub-
ject of conversation. While she was trying to fix on one,
the cook took the caldron of soup off the fire, and at once
set to work throwing everything within her reach at the
Duchess and the baby-the fire-irons came first; then fol-
lowed a shower of saucepans, plates and dishes. The
Duchess took no notice of them, even when they hit her;
58









Pig and Pepper

and the baby was howling so much already, that it was
quite impossible to say whether the blows hurt it or not.
Oh, please mind what you are doing! cried Alice,
jumping up and down in an agony of terror. "Oh, there
goes his precious nose! as an unusually large saucepan flew
close by it, and very nearly carried it off.
"If everybody minded their own business," said the
Duchess in a hoarse growl, "the world would go round
a deal faster than it does."
"Which would not be an advantage," said Alice, who
felt very glad to get an opportunity of showing off a little
of her knowledge. "Just think what work it would
make with the day and night! You see the earth takes
twenty-four hours to turn round on its axis- "
"Talking of axes," said the Duchess, "chop off her head!"
Alice glanced rather anxiously at the cook, to see if she
meant to take the hint; but the cook was busily stir-
ring the soup, and seemed not to be listening, so she went
on again: "Twenty-four hours, I think; or is it twelve ?
I-"
"Oh, don't bother me," said the Duchess; "I never
could abide figures." And with that she began nursing
her child again, singing a sort of lullaby to it as she did
so, and giving it a violent shake at the end of every line:

"Speak roughly to your little boy,
And beat him when he sneezes;
He only does it to annoy,
Because he knows it teases."
59









Adventures in Wonderland


CHORUS


(in which the cook and the baby joined)


"Wow! wow wow !


While the Duchess sang the second verse of the song,
she kept tossing the baby violently up and down, and
the poor little thing howled so, that Alice could hardly
hear the words:

"I speak severely to my boy,
I beat him when he sneezes;
For he can thoroughly enjoy
The pepper when he pleases !"


CHORUS

"Wow! wow! wow!"


"Here! you may nurse it a bit, if you like!" said the
Duchess to Alice, flinging the baby at her as she spoke.
"I must go and get ready to play croquet with the
Queen," and she hurried out of the room. The cook
threw a fryingpan after her as she went, but it just missed
her.
Alice caught the baby with some difficulty, as it was a
queer-shaped little creature, and held out its arms and legs
in all directions, "just like a star-fish," thought Alice.
60









Pig and Pepper

The poor little thing was snorting like a steam engine
when she caught it, and kept doubling itself up and straight-
ening itself out again, so that altogether, for the first min-
ute or two, it was as much as she could do to hold it.
As soon as she had made out the proper way of nurs-
ing it (which was to twist it up into a sort of knot, and
then keep tight hold of its right ear and left foot, so as to
prevent its undoing itself), she carried it out into the open
air. "If I don't take this child away with me," thought
Alice, "they're sure to kill it in a day or two: wouldn't
it be murder to leave it behind?" She said the last
words out loud, and the little thing grunted in reply (it
had left off sneezing by this time). "Don't grunt," said
Alice: "that's not at all a proper way of expressing your-
self."
The baby grunted again, and Alice looked very anxiously
into its face to see what was the matter with it. There
could be no doubt that it had a very turn-up nose, much
more like a snout than a real nose: also its eyes were
getting extremely small, for a baby: altogether Alice did
not like the look of the thing at all. "But perhaps it
was only sobbing," she thought, and looked into its eves
again, to see if there were any tears.
No, there were no tears. "If you're going to turn into
a pig, my dear," said Alice, seriously, "I'll have nothing
more to do with you. Mind now!" The poor little
thing sobbed again (or grunted, it was impossible to say
which), and they went on for some while in silence.
6r








Adventures in Wonderland


Alice was just beginning to think to herself, Now,
what am I to do with this creature when I get it home?"
when it grunted again, so violently, that she looked down
into its face in some alarm. This time there could be no
mistake about it: it was neither more nor less than a pig,
and she felt that it would be quite absurd for her to carry
it any further.
So she set the little creature down, and felt quite relieved
to see it trot away quietly into the wood. "If it had
grown up," she said to herself, "it would have been a
dreadfully ugly child: but it makes rather a handsome
pig, I think." And she began thinking over other chil-
dren she knew, who might do very well as pigs, and was
just saying to herself, "If one only knew the right way
to change them- when she was a little startled by
seeing the Cheshire Cat sitting on a bough of a tree a
few yards off.
The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice. It looked
good-natured, she thought; still it had very long claws
and a great many teeth, so she felt it ought to be treated
with respect.
Cheshire Puss," she began, rather timidly, as she did
not at all know whether it would like the name: how-
ever, it only grinned a little wider. "Come, it's pleased
so far," thought Alice, and she went on, "Would you tell
me, please, which way I ought to walk from here?"
"That depends a good deal on where you want to get
to," said the Cat.









Pig and Pepper

"I don't much care where- said Alice.
"Then it doesn't matter which way you walk," said
the Cat.
"-- so long as I get somewhere," Alice added as an
explanation.
"Oh, you're sure to do that," said the Cat, "if you
only walk long enough."
Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried
another question. "What sort of people live about
here ?"
In that direction," the Cat said, waving its right paw
round, "lives a Hatter; and in that direction," waving the
other paw, "lives a March Hare. Visit either you like;
they're both mad."
"But I don't want to go among mad people," Alice
remarked.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat; "we're all
mad here. I'm mad. You're mad."
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have
come here."
Alice didn't think that proved it at all; however, she
went on: "and how do you know that you're mad?"
"To begin with," said the Cat, "a dog's not mad.
You grant that?"
I suppose so," said Alice.
"Well then," the Cat went on, "you see a dog growls
when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now








Adventures in Wonderland


I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm
angry. Therefore I'm mad."
"I call it purring, not growling," said Alice.
"Call it what you like," said the Cat. "Do you play
croquet with the Queen to-day?"
"I should like it very much," said Alice, "but I haven't
been invited yet."
"You'll see me there," said the Cat and vanished.
Alice was not much surprised at this, she was getting
so well used to queer things happening. While she was
still looking at the place where it had been, it suddenly
appeared again.
"By-the-by, what became of the baby?" said the Cat.
"I'd nearly forgotten to ask."
It turned into a pig," Alice answered very quietly,
just as if the Cat had come back in a natural way.
"I thought it would," said the Cat, and vanished again.
Alice waited a little, half expecting to see it again, but
it did not appear, and after a minute or two she walked
on in the direction in which the March Hare was said to
live. "I've seen Hatters before," she said to herself; "the
March Hare will be much the most interesting, and per-
haps as this is May it won't be raving mad-at least not
so mad as it was in March." As she said this, she looked
up, and there was the Cat again, sitting on a branch of a
tree.
"Did you say pig, or fig?" said the Cat.
"I said pig," replied Alice; "and I wish you wouldn't








Pig and Pepper

keep appearing and vanishing so suddenly; you make one
quite giddy."
"All right," said the Cat; and this time it vanished
quite slowly, beginning with the end of the tail, and end-
ing with the grin, which remained some time after the
rest of it had gone.
"Well, I've often seen a cat without a grin," thought
Alice; but a grin without a cat! It's the most curious
thing I ever saw in all my life!"
She had not gone much farther before she came in sight
of the house of the March Hare: she thought it must be
the right house, because the chimneys were shaped like
ears and the roof was thatched with fur. It was so large
a house, that she did not like to go nearer till she had
nibbled some more of the left-hand bit of mushroom, and
raised herself to about two feet high: even then she
walked up toward it rather timidly, saying to herself, "Sup-
pose it should be raving mad after all, I almost wish I'd
gone to see the Hatter instead."





















r : ,-
A. r
)~~ ;1


jilil


2-










CHAPTER VII


A Mad Tea-Party

THERE was a table set out under a tree in front
of the house, and the March Hare and the Hat-
ter were having tea at it: a Dormouse was sitting be-
tween them, fast asleep, and the other two were using it
as a cushion, resting their elbows on it, and talking over
its head. Very uncomfortable for the Dormouse," thought
Alice: "only as it's asleep, I suppose it doesn't mind."
The table was a large one, but the three were all
crowded together at one corner of it: "No room! No
room !" they cried out when they saw Alice coming.
"There's plenty of room," said Alice indignantly, and
she sat down in a large arm-chair at one end of the
table.
Have some wine," the March Hare said in an en-
couraging tone.
Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing
on it but tea. "I don't see any wine," she remarked.
"There isn't any," said the March Hare.
"Then it wasn't very civil of you to offer it," said Alice
angrily.
"It wasn't very civil of you to sit down without being
invited," said the March Hare.
"I didn't know it was your table," said Alice; "it's
laid for a great many more than three."
"Your hair wants cutting," said the Hatter. He had








A Mad Tea-Party

been looking at Alice for some time with great curiosity,
and this was his first speech.
"You should learn not to make personal remarks," Alice
said with some severity: "it's very rude."
The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this;
but all he said was, "Why is a raven like a writing-
desk ?"
Come, we shall have some fun now!" thought Alice.
" I'm glad they've begun asking riddles-I believe I can
guess that," she added aloud.
"Do you mean that you think you can find out the
answer to it ?" said the March Hare.
"Exactly so," said Alice.
"Then you should say what you mean," the March
Hare went on.
"I do," Alice hastily replied; "at least-at least I
mean what I say-that's the same thing, you know.
"Not the same thing a bit!" said the Hatter. "Why,
you might just as well say that 'I see what I eat' is the
same thing as 'I eat what I see!'"
"You might just as well say," added the March Hare,
"that 'I like what I get' is the same thing as 'I get what
I like!'"
"You might just as well say," added the Dormouse,
who seemed to be talking in his sleep, that I breathe
when I sleep' is the same thing as 'I sleep when I
breathe!'"
"It is the same thing with you," said the Hatter, and








Adventures in Wonderland


here the conversation dropped, and the party sat silent for
a minute, while Alice thought over all she could remem-
ber about ravens and writing-desks, which wasn't much.
The Hatter was the first to break the silence.
"What day of the month is it ?" he said, turning to
Alice: he had taken his watch out of his pocket, and was
looking at it uneasily, shaking it every now and then, and
holding it to his ear.
Alice considered a little, and said, "The fourth."
"Two days wrong!" sighed the Hatter. "I told you
butter wouldn't suit the works!" he added, looking angrily
at the March Hare.
It was the best butter," the March Hare meekly replied.
"Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well," the
Hatter grumbled: "you shouldn't have put it in with the
bread-knife."
The March Hare took the watch and looked at it
gloomily: then he dipped it into his cup of tea, and
looked at it again: but he could think of nothing better
to say than his first remark, "it was the best butter, you
know."
Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some
curiosity. "What a funny watch!" she remarked. "It
tells the day of the month, and doesn't tell what o'clock
it is!"
"Why should it?" muttered the Hatter. "Does your
watch tell you what year it is ?"
"Of course not," Alice replied very readily: "but that's








A Mad Tea-Party

because it stays the same year for such a long time to-
gether."
"Which is just the case with mine," said the Hatter.
Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter's remark
seemed to her to have no sort of meaning in it, and yet
it was certainly English. "I don't quite understand you,"
she said, politely as she could.
"The Dormouse is asleep again," said the Hatter, and
he poured a little hot tea on to its nose.
The Dormouse shook his head impatiently, and said,
without opening his eyes, "Of course, of course: just what
I was going to remark myself."
"Have you guessed the riddle yet?" the Hatter said,
turning to Alice.
"No, I give it up," Alice replied: "what's the answer?"
"I haven't the slightest idea," said the Hatter.
"Nor I," said the March Hare.
Alice sighed wearily. "I think you might do some-
thing better with the time," she said, than wasting it in
asking riddles that have no answers."
"If you knew Time as well as I do," said the Hatter,
"you wouldn't talk about wasting it. It's him."
"I don't know what you mean," said Alice.
Of course you don't!" the Hatter said, tossing his
head contemptuously. "I dare say you never even spoke
to Time!"
"Perhaps not," Alice cautiously replied: "but I know
I have to beat time when I learn music."
69









Adventures in Wonderland


"Ah that accounts for it," said the Hatter. He
won't stand beating. Now, if you only kept on good terms
with him, he'd do almost anything you liked with the
clock. For instance, suppose it were nine o'clock in the
morning, just time to begin lessons: you'd only have to
whisper a hint to Time, and round goes the clock in a
twinkling! Half-past one, time for dinner!"
("I only wish it was," the March Hare said to itself
in a whisper.)
"That would be grand, certainly," said Alice thought-
fully: "but then-I shouldn't be hungry for it, you know."
"Not at first, perhaps," said the Hatter: "but you
could keep it to half-past one as long as you liked."
"Is that the way you manage?" Alice asked.
The Hatter shook his head mournfully. Not I," he
replied. "We quarrelled last March-just before he went
mad, you know"-(pointing with his teaspoon at the
March Hare)-" it was at the great concert given by the
Queen of Hearts, and I had to sing.

"'Twinkle, twinkle, little bat?
How I wonder what you're at ?'

You know the song perhaps?"
"I've heard something like it," said Alice.
"It goes on, you know," the Hatter continued, "in this
way:
"' Up above the world you fly,
Like a teatray in the sky.
Twinkle, twinkle- "
70









A Mad Tea-Party

Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began singing in
its sleep, "twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle and went
on so long that they had to pinch it to make it stop.
"Well, I'd hardly finished the first verse," said the Hatter,
"when the Queen bawled out 'He's murdering the time!
Off with his head!'"
How dreadfully savage! exclaimed Alice.
"And ever since that," the Hatter went on in a mourn-
ful tone, "he won't do a thing I ask! It's always six
o'clock now."
A bright idea came into Alice's head. "Is that the
reason so many tea-things are put out here ?" she asked.
"Yes, that's it," said the Hatter with a sigh: "it's al-
ways tea-time, and we've no time to wash the things be-
tween whiles."
"Then you keep moving round, I suppose?" said Alice.
"Exactly so," said the Hatter: "as the things get used
up.
"But when you come to the beginning again?" Alice
ventured to ask.
Suppose we change the subject," the March Hare in-
terrupted, yawning. "I'm getting tired of this. I vote
the young lady tells us a story."
"I'm afraid I don't know one," said Alice, rather
alarmed at the proposal.
"Then the Dormouse shall!" they both cried. "Wake
up, Dormouse!" And they pinched it on both sides at
once.









Adventures in Wonderland


The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes. "I wasn't
asleep," he said in a hoarse, feeble voice: I heard every
word you fellows were saying."
"Tell us a story!" said the March Hare.
"Yes, please do!" pleaded Alice.
"And be quick about it," added the Hatter, "or you'll
be asleep again before it's done."
Once upon a time there were three little sisters," the
Dormouse began in a great hurry; and their names
were Elsie, Lacie, and Tillie; and they lived at the bot-
tom of a well- "
"What did they live on?" said Alice, who always took
a great interest in questions of eating and drinking.
"They lived on treacle," said the Dormouse, after
thinking a minute or two.
"They couldn't have done that, you know," Alice gently
remarked: "they'd have been ill."
"So they were," said the Dormouse; "very ill."
Alice tried a little to fancy to herself what such an ex-
traordinary way of living would be like, but it puzzled her
too much, so she went on: "But why did they live at
the bottom of a well ?"
"Take some more tea," the March Hare said to Alice,
very earnestly.
"I've had nothing yet," Alice replied in an offended
tone, "so I can't take more."
"You mean, you can't take less," said the Hatter: "it's
very easy to take more than nothing."
72








A Mad Tea-Party

"Nobody asked your opinion," said Alice.
"Who's making personal remarks now?" the Hatter
asked triumphantly.
Alice did not quite know what to say to this: so she
helped herself to some tea and bread-and-butter, and then
turned to the Dormouse, and repeated her question. "Why
did they live at the bottom of a well?"
The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think
about it, and then said, "It was a treacle-well."
"There's no such thing!" Alice was beginning very
angrily, but the Hatter and the March Hare went "Sh!
sh! and the Dormouse sulkily remarked, If you can't be
civil, you'd better finish the story for yourself."
"No, please go on!" Alice said very humbly: "I
won't interrupt you again. I dare say there may be one."
"One, indeed!" said the Dormouse indignantly. How-
ever, he consented to go on. "And so these three sisters
-they were learning to draw, you know--"
"What did they draw?" said Alice, quite forgetting
her promise.
"Treacle," said the Dormouse, without considering at
all this time.
"I want a clean cup," interrupted the Hatter: "let's
all move one place on."
He moved on as he spoke, and the Dormouse followed
him: the March Hare moved into the Dormouse's place,
and Alice rather unwillingly took the place of the March
Hare. The Hatter was the only one who got any ad-
73








Adventures in Wonderland


vantage from the change: and Alice was a good deal
worse off than before, as the March Hare had just upset
the milk-jug into his plate.
Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so
she began very cautiously: "But I don't understand. Where
did they draw the treacle from?"
"You can draw water out of a water-well," said the
Hatter; "so I think you could draw treacle out of a
treacle-well-eh, stupid?"
"But they were in the well," Alice said to the Dor-
mouse, not choosing to notice this last remark.
"Of course they were," said the Dormouse-"well in."
This answer so confused poor Alice, that she let the
Dormouse go on for some time without interrupting it.
"They were learning to draw," the Dormouse went on,
yawning and rubbing its eyes, for it was getting very
sleepy; "and they drew all manner of things-everything
that begins with an M- "
"Why with an M?" said Alice.
"Why not?" said the March Hare.
Alice was silent.
The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time, and
was going off into a doze, but, on being pinched by the
Hatter, it woke up again with a little shriek, and went
on: "That begins with an M, such as mousetraps, and
the moon, and memory, and muchness-you know you say
things are (much of a muchness'-did you ever see such
a thing as a drawing of a muchness?"








A Mad Tea-Party

"Really, now you ask me," said Alice, very much con-
fused, "I don't think-- "
"Then you shouldn't talk," said the Hatter.
This piece of rudeness was more than Alice could bear:
she got up in great disgust, and walked off: the Dor-
mouse fell asleep instantly, and neither of the others took
the least notice of her going, though she looked back
once or twice, half hoping that they would call after her:
the last time she saw them, they were trying to put
the Dormouse into the teapot.
"At any rate I'll never go there again!" said Alice as
she picked her way through the wood.
It's the stupidest tea-party I was ever at in all my
life "
Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees
had a door leading right into it. That's very curious!"
she .thought. "But everything's curious to-day. I think
I may as well go in at once." And in she went.
Once more she found herself in a long hall, and close
to the little glass table. "Now I'll manage better this
time," she said to herself, and began by taking the little
golden key, and unlocking the door that led into the gar-
den. Then she set to work nibbling at the mushroom
(she had kept a piece of it in her pocket) till she was
about a foot high: then she walked down the little
passage-then she found herself at last in a beautiful gar-
den, among the bright flower-beds and the cool fountains.























































7'7


4:


... *rf"


., ".(.'."










CHAPTER VIII


The Queen's Croquet-Ground

A LARGE rose-tree stood near the entrance of the
garden: the roses growing on it were white, but
there were three gardeners at it, busily painting them red.
Alice thought this a very curious thing, and she went
nearer to watch them, and just as she came up to them
she heard one of them say, "Look out now, Five! Don't
go splashing paint over me like that!"
"I couldn't help it," said Five in a sulky tone; "Seven
jogged my elbow."
On which Seven looked up and said, "That's right,
Five! Always lay the blame on others!"
"You'd better not talk! said Five. "I heard the
Queen say only yesterday you deserved to be beheaded."
"What for?" said the one who had spoken first.
"That's none of your business, Two!" said Seven.
"Yes, it is his business!" said Five, "and I'll tell him
-it was for bringing the cook tulip-roots instead of
onions."
Seven flung down the brush, and had just begun, "Well,
of all the unjust things- when his eye chanced to fall
upon Alice, as she stood watching them, and he checked
himself suddenly; the others looked round also, and all of
them bowed low.
"Would you tell me, please," said Alice, a little timidly,
"why you are painting those roses?"
76








The Queen's Croquet-Ground

Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two. Two
began, in a low voice, "Why, the fact is, you see, miss,
this here ought to have been a red rose-tree, and we put
a white one in by mistake, and if the Queen was to find
it out, we should all have our heads cut off, you know.
So you see, miss, we're doing our best, afore she comes,
to- At this moment Five, who had been anxiously
looking across the garden, called out "The Queen! the
Queen!" and the three gardeners instantly threw them-
selves flat upon their faces. There was a sound of many
footsteps, and Alice looked round, eager to see the Queen.
First came ten soldiers carrying clubs; these were all
shaped like the three gardeners, oblong and flat, with
their hands and feet at the corners; next the ten court-
iers; these were ornamented all over with diamonds, and
walked two and two, as the soldiers did. After these
came the royal children; there were ten of them, and
the little dears came jumping merrily along hand in hand,
in couples; they were all ornamented with hearts. Next
came the guests, mostly Kings and Queens, and among
them Alice recognized the White Rabbit; it was talking
in a hurried nervous manner, smiling at everything that
was said, and went by without noticing her. Then fol-
lowed the Knave of Hearts, carrying the King's crown
on a crimson velvet cushion; and, last of all this grand
procession, came THE KING AND QUEEN OF
HEARTS.
Alice was rather doubtful whether she ought not to lie
77









Adventures in Wonderland


down on her face like the three gardeners, but she could
not remember ever having heard of such a rule at pro-
cessions: "and besides, what would be the use of a pro-
cession," she thought, "if people had all to lie down on
their faces, so that they couldn't see it?" So she stood
where she was and waited.
When the procession came opposite to Alice, they all
stopped and looked at her, and the Queen said severely,
"Who is this?" She said it to the Knave of Hearts,
who only bowed and smiled in reply.
"Idiot," said the Queen, tossing her head impatiently;
and, turning to Alice she went on, What's your name,
child?"
"My name is Alice, so please your majesty," said Alice
very politely; but she added, to herself, "Why they're
only a pack of cards, after all. I needn't be afraid of
them."
"And who are these ?" said the Queen, pointing to the
three gardeners who were round the rose-tree; for you
see, as they were lying on their faces, and the pattern on
their backs was the same as the rest of the pack, she
could not tell whether they were gardeners, or soldiers, or
courtiers, or three of her own children.
"How should I know ?" said Alice, surprised at her
own courage. "It's no business of mine."
The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, after glaring
at her for a moment like a wild beast, began screaming,
"Off with her head! Off--"
78








The Queen's Croquet-Ground

"Nonsense!" said Alice, very loudly and decidedly, and
the Queen was silent.
The King laid his hand upon her arm, and timidly
said, "Consider, my dear: she is only a child!"
The Queen turned angrily away from him, and said to
the Knave, "Turn them over!"
The Knave did so, very carefully, with one foot.
"Get up!" said the Queen in a shrill, loud voice, and
the three gardeners instantly jumped up, and began bowing
to the King, the Queen, the royal children, and everybody else.
"Leave off that!" screamed the Queen. "You make
me giddy." And then, turning to the rose-tree, she went
on, "What have you been doing here?"
"May it please your majesty," said Two, in a very
humble tone, going down on one knee as he spoke, "we
were trying- "
"I see!" said the Queen, who had meanwhile been
examining the roses. Off with their heads! and the
procession moved on, three of the soldiers remaining behind
to execute the unfortunate gardeners, who ran to Alice for
protection.
"You shan't be beheaded!" said Alice, and she put
them into a large flower-pot that stood near. The three
soldiers wandered about for a minute or two, looking for
them, and then quietly marched off after the others.
"Are their heads off ?" shouted the Queen.
"Their heads are gone, if it please your majesty!" the
soldiers shouted in reply.









Adventures in Wonderland


"That's right!" shouted the Queen. "Can you play
croquet?"
The soldiers were silent, and looked at Alice, as the
question was evidently meant for her.
"Yes !" shouted Alice.
"Come on then!" roared the Queen, and Alice joined
the procession, wondering very much what would happen
next.
"It's-it's a very fine day! said a timid voice at her
side. She was walking by the White Rabbit, who was
peeping anxiously into her face.
"Very," said Alice: "where's the Duchess?"
"Hush Hush!" said the Rabbit in a low, hurried
tone. He looked anxiously over his shoulder as he spoke,
and then raised himself upon tiptoe, put his mouth close
to her ear, and whispered, "She's under sentence of exe-
cution."
"What for?" said Alice.
"Did you say, 'What a pity!'" the Rabbit asked.
"No I didn't," said Alice: "I don't think it's at all
a pity. I said 'What for?'"
"She boxed the Queen's ears- the Rabbit began.
Alice gave a little scream of laughter. Oh hush!" the
Rabbit whispered in a frightened tone. "The Queen
will hear you! You see she came rather late, and the
Queen said- "
"Get to your places!" shouted the Queen in a voice of
thunder, and people began running about in all directions,
o8








The Queen's Croquet-Ground

tumbling up against each other: however, they got settled
down in a minute or two, and the game began.
Alice thought she had never seen such a curious
croquet-ground in her life: it was all ridges and furrows;
the croquet-balls were live hedgehogs, and the mallets live
flamingoes, and the soldiers had to double themselves
up and stand on their hands and feet, to make the
arches.
The chief difficulty Alice found at first was in manag-
ing her flamingo: she succeeded in getting its body
tucked away, comfortably enough, under her arm, with its
legs hanging down, but generally, just as she had got its
neck nicely straightened out, and was going to give the
hedgehog a blow with its head, it would twist itself round
and look up into her face, with such a puzzled expression
that she could not help bursting out laughing: and when
she had got its head down, and was going to begin again,
it was very provoking to find that the hedgehog had un-
rolled itself, and was in the act of crawling away: besides
all this, there was generally a ridge or a furrow in the way
wherever she wanted to send the hedgehog to, and, as the
doubled-up soldiers were always getting up and walking
off to other parts of the ground, Alice soon came to the
conclusion that it was a very difficult game indeed.
The players all played at once without waiting for
turns, quarreling all the while, and fighting for the hedge-
hogs; and in a very short time the Queen was in a
furious passion, and went stamping about, and shouting,








Adventures in Wonderland


"Off with his head!" or "Off with her head!" about
once in a minute.
Alice began to feel very uneasy: to be sure, she had
not as yet had any dispute with the Queen, but she knew
that it might happen any minute, "and then," thought
she, "what would become of me? They're dreadfully
fond of beheading people here: the great wonder is, that
there's any one left alive!"
She was looking about for some way of escape, and
wondering whether she could get away without being
seen, when she noticed a curious appearance in the air: it
puzzled her very much at first, but after watching it a
minute or two she made it out to be a grin, and she said
to herself, It's the Cheshire Cat: now I shall have
somebody to talk to."
"How are you getting on?" said the Cat, as soon as
there was mouth enough for it to speak with.
Alice waited till the eyes appeared, and then nodded.
"It's no use speaking to it," she thought, "till its ears
have come, or at least one of them." In another minute
the whole head appeared, and then Alice put down her
flamingo, and began an account of the game, feeling very
glad she had some one to listen to her. The Cat seemed
to think that there was enough of it now in sight, and
no more of it appeared.
"I don't think they play at all fairly," Alice began, in
rather a complaining tone, "and they all quarrel so dread-
fully one can't hear one's self speak-and they don't seem








The Queen's Croquet-Ground

to have any rules in particular; at least, if there are, nobody
attends to them-and you've no idea how confusing it is
all the things being alive; for instance, there's the arch
I've got to go through next walking about at the other
end of the ground-and I should have croqueted the
Queen's hedgehog just now, only it ran away when it saw
mine coming!"
How do you like the Queen?" said the Cat in a
low voice.
"Not at all," said Alice: "she's so extremely- "
Just then she noticed that the Queen was close behind
her, listening; so she went on, "Likely to win, that it's
hardly worth while finishing the game."
The Queen smiled and passed on.
"Who are you talking to?" said the King, coming up
to Alice, and looking at the Cat's head with great
curiosity.
"It's a friend of mine-a Cheshire Cat," said Alice;
"allow me to introduce it."
I don't like the look of it at all," said the King;
"it may kiss my hand if it likes."
"I'd rather not," the Cat remarked.
"Don't be impertinent," said the King, "and don't look
at me like that!" He got behind Alice as he spoke.
"A cat may look at a king," said Alice. "I've read
that in some book, but I don't remember where."
"Well, it must be removed," said the King very de-
cidedly, and he called to the Queen, who was passing at








Adventures in Wonderland


that moment, "My dear! I wish you would have this cat
removed! "
The Queen had only one way of settling all difficulties,
great or small. "Off with his head!" she said without
even looking round.
"I'll fetch the executioner myself," said the King eagerly,
and he hurried off.
Alice thought she might as well go back and see how
the game was going on, as she heard the Queen's voice
in a distance, screaming with passion. She had already
heard her sentence three of the players to be executed for
having missed their turns, and she did not like the looks
of things at all, as the game was in such confusion that
she never knew whether it was her turn or not. So she
went off in search of her hedgehog.
The hedgehog was engaged in a fight with another
hedgehog, which seemed to Alice an excellent opportunity
of croqueting one of them with the other; the only
difficulty was, that her flamingo was gone across to the
other side of the garden, where Alice could see it trying
in a helpless sort of way to fly up a tree.
By the time she had caught the flamingo and brought
it back, the fight was over, and both the hedgehogs were
out of sight; "but it doesn't matter much," thought
Alice, "as all the arches are gone from this side of the
ground." So she tucked it away under her arm, that it
might not escape again, and went back to have a little
more conversation with her friend.
84








The Queen's Croquet-Ground

When she got back to the Cheshire Cat, she was sur-
prised to find quite a large crowd collected round it;
there was a dispute going on between the executioner, the
King, and the Queen, who were all talking at once, while
all the rest were quite silent, and looked very uncomfortable.
The moment Alice appeared, she was appealed to by
all three to settle the question, and they repeated their
arguments to her, though, as they all spoke at once, she
found it very hard to make out exactly what they said.
The executioner's argument was, that you couldn't cut
off a head unless there was a body to cut it off from;
that he had never had to do such a thing before, and he
wasn't going to begin at his time of life.
The King's argument was, that anything that had a head
could be beheaded, and that you weren't to talk nonsense.
The Queen's argument was, that if something wasn't
done about it in less than no time, she'd have everybody
executed, all round. (It was this last remark that had
made the whole party look so grave and anxious.)
Alice could thing of nothing else to say but It belongs
to the Duchess: you'd better ask her about it."
She's in prison," the Queen said to the executioner:
"Fetch her here." And the executioner went off like an arrow.
The Cat's head began fading away the moment he was
gone, and, by the time he had come back with the
Duchess, it had entirely disappeared; so the King and the
executioner ran wildly up and down looking for it, while
the rest of the party went back to the game.













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CHAPTER IX


The Mock Turtle's Story

"Y OU can't think how glad I am to see you again,
you dear old thing," said the Duchess, as she
tucked her arm affectionately into Alice's and they walked
off together.
Alice was very glad to find her in such a pleasant
temper, and thought to herself that perhaps it was only
the pepper that had made her so savage when they met
in the kitchen. "When I'm a Duchess," she said to her-
self (not in a very hopeful tone though), "I won't have
any pepper in my kitchen at all. Soup does very well
without. Maybe it's always pepper that makes people
hot-tempered," she went on, very much pleased at having
found out a new kind of rule, "and vinegar that makes
them sour-and camomile that makes them bitter-and-
and barley-sugar and such things that make children sweet-
tempered. I only wish people knew that; then they
wouldn't be so stingy about it, you know- "
She had quite forgotten the Duchess by this time, and
was a little startled when she heard her voice close to her
ear. "You're thinking about something, my dear, and
that makes you forget to talk. I can't tell you just now
what the moral of that is, but I shall remember it in a
bit."
"Perhaps it hasn't one," Alice ventured to remark.
"Tut, tut, child!" said the Duchess. "Everything's








The Mock Turtle's Story


got a moral, if only you can find it." And she squeezed
herself up closer to Alice's side as she spoke.
Alice did not much like her keeping so close to her;
first, because the Duchess was very ugly, and secondly,
because she was exactly the right height to rest her chin
on Alice's shoulder, and it was an uncomfortably sharp
chin. However, she did not like to be rude, so she bore
it as well as she could.
"The game's going on rather better now," she said by
way of keeping up the conversation a little.
"'Tis so," said the Duchess; "and the moral of that
is-'Oh, 'tis love, 'tis love, that makes the world go
round!'"
"Somebody said," Alice whispered, "that it's done by
everybody minding their own business!"
"Ah, well! It means much the same thing," said the
Duchess, digging her sharp little chin into Alice's shoulder
as she added, "and the moral of that is-' Take care of
the sense, and the sounds will take care of themselves.'"
"How fond she is in finding morals in things!" Alice
thought to herself.
I dare say you're wondering why I don't put my arm
round your waist," said the Duchess after a pause; "the
reason is, that I'm doubtful about the temper of you
flamingo. Shall I try the experiment?"
"He might bite," Alice cautiously replied, not feeling
at all anxious to have the experiment tried.
"Very true," said the Duchess; "flamingoes and mus-








Adventures in Wonderland

tard both bite. And the moral of that is-' Birds of a
feather flock together.' "
Only mustard isn't a bird," Alice remarked.
"Right, as usual," said the Duchess; "what a clear way
you have of putting things!"
"It's a mineral, I think," said Alice.
Of course it is," said the Duchess, who seemed ready
to agree to everything that Alice said; "there's a large
mustard-mine near here. And the moral of that is-' The
more there is of mine, the less there is of yours.' "
Oh, I know!" exclaimed Alice, who had not attended
to this last remark, "it's a vegetable. It doesn't look like
one, but it is."
"I quite agree with you," said the Duchess, "and the
moral of that is-' Be what you would seem to be'-or,
if you'd like it put more simply-' Never imagine
yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to
others that what you were or might have been was not
otherwise than what you had been would have appeared
to them to be otherwise.' "
"I think I should understand that better," Alice said
very politely, "if I had it written down; but I can't quite
follow it as you say it."
"That's nothing to what I could say if I choose," the
Duchess replied in a pleased tone.
"Pray don't trouble yourself to say it any longer than
that," said Alice.
Oh, don't. talk about trouble!" said the Duchess.
88








The Mock Turtle's Story

"I make you a present of everything I've said as
yet."
"A cheap sort of a present!" thought Alice. "I'm
glad they don't give birthday presents like that! But
she did not venture to say it out loud.
"Thinking again?" the Duchess asked, with another
dig of her sharp little chin.
I've a right to think," said Alice sharply, for she was
beginning to feel a little worried.
"Just about as much right," said the Duchess, as pigs
have to fly; and the m- "
But here, to Alice's great surprise, the Duchess' voice
died away, even in the middle of her favorite word 'moral,'
and the arm that was linked into hers began to tremble.
Alice looked up, and there stood the Queen in front of
them, with her arms folded, frowning like a thunderstorm.
"A fine day, your majesty!" the Duchess began in a
low, weak voice.
Now, I give you fair warning," shouted the Queen,
stamping on the ground as she spoke; "either you or
your head must be off, and that in about half no time!
Take your choice!"
The Duchess took her choice, and was gone in a
moment.
"Let's go on with the game," the Queen said to Alice,
and Alice was too much frightened to say a word, but
slowly followed her back to the croquet-ground.
The other guests had taken advantage of the Queen's








Adventures in Wonderland


absence, and were resting in the shade: however, the mo-
ment they saw her, they hurried back to the game, the
Queen merely remarking that a moment's delay would
cost them their lives.
All the time they were playing the Queen never left
off quarrelling with the other players, and shouting "Off
with his head! or Off with her head !"
Those whom she sentenced were taken into custody by
the soldiers, who of course had to leave off being arches
to do this, so that by the end of half an hour or so there
were no arches left, and all the players, except the King,
the Queen, and Alice, were in custody, and under sentence
of execution.
Then the Queen left off, quite out of breath, and said
to Alice, "Have you seen the Mock Turtle yet?"
"No," said Alice, I don't even know what a Mock
Turtle is."
"It's the thing Mock Turtle soup is made from," said
the Queen.
I never saw one, or heard of one," said Alice.
"Come on, then," said the Queen, "and he shall tell
you his history."
As they walked off together, Alice heard the King say
in a low voice, to the company generally, "You are all
pardoned." "Come, that's a good thing!" she said to
herself, for she had felt quite unhappy at the number of
executions the Queen had ordered.
They very soon came upon a Gryphon, lying fast asleep
90








The Mock Turtle's Story


in the sun. (If you don't know what a Gryphon is,
look at the picture.) "Up, lazy thing!" said the Queen,
*( and take this young lady to see the Mock Turtle, and
to hear his history. I must go back and see after some
executions I have ordered"; and she walked off, leaving
Alice alone with the Gryphon. Alice did not quite like
the look of the creature, but on the whole she thought it
would be quite as safe to stay with it as to go after that
savage Queen: so she waited.
The Gryphon sat up and rubbed his eyes; then it
watched the Queen till she was out of sight: then it
chuckled. "What fun!" said the Gryphon, half to itself,
half to Alice.
"What is the fun?" said Alice.
"Why, she," said the Gryphon. "It's all her fancy,
that: they never executes nobody, you know. Come
on!"
"Everybody says come on here," thought Alice, as
she went slowly after it: I never was so ordered about
before in all my life; never! "
They had not gone far before they saw the Mock
Turtle in the distance, sitting sad and lonely on a little
ledge of rock, and, as they came nearer, Alice could hear
him sighing as if his heart would break. She pitied him
deeply. What is his sorrow?" she asked the Gryphon,
and the Gryphon answered, very nearly in the same words
as before, "It's all his fancy, that: he hasn't got no
sorrow, you know. Come on!"







Adventures in Wonderland


So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who looked at
them with large eyes full of tears, but said nothing.
"This here young lady," said the Gryphon, "she wants
for to know your history, she do."
"I'll tell it her," said the Mock Turtle in a deep,
hollow tone: "sit down both of you, and don't speak a
word till I've finished."
So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some minutes.
Alice thought to herself, "I don't see how he can ever
finish, if he doesn't begin." But she waited patiently.
"Once," said the Mock Turtle at last, with a deep
sigh, "I was a real Turtle."
These words were followed by a very long silence,
broken only by an occasional exclamation of "Hjckrrh!"
from the Gryphon, and the constant heavy sighing of the
Mock Turtle. Alice was very nearly getting up and say-
ing, "Thank you sir, for your interesting story," but she
could not help thinking there must be more to come, so
she sat still and said nothing.
"When we were little," the Mock Turtle went on at
last, more calmly, though still sobbing a little now and
then, "we went to school in the sea. The master was an
old Turtle-we used to call him Tortoise---"
"Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn't one?"
Alice asked.
"We called him Tortoise because he taught us," said
the Mock Turtle angrily; "really you are very dull!"
"You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking such
92








The Mock Turtle's Story

a simple question," added the Gryphon; and then they
both sat silent and looked at poor Alice, who felt ready
to sink into the earth. At last the Gryphon said to the
Mock Turtle, Drive on, old fellow! Don't be all day
about it!" and he went on in these words:
"Yes, we went to school in the sea, though you mayn't
believe it- "
I never said I didn't!" interrupted Alice.
"You did," said the Mock Turtle.
"Hold your tongue!" added the Gryphon, before Alice
could speak again. The Mock Turtle went on.
"We had the best of educations-in fact, we went to
school every day--"
"I've been to a day-school too," said Alice; "you
needn't be so proud as all that."
"With extras?" asked the Mock Turtle a little
anxiously.
"Yes," said Alice, "we learned French and music."
"And washing?" said the Mock Turtle.
"Certainly not!" said Alice indignantly.
"Ah! then yours wasn't a really good school," said the
Mock Turtle in a tone of great relief. "Now at ours
they had at the end of the bill, 'French, music, and
washing-extra.'"
You couldn't have wanted it much," said Alice;
"living at the bottom of the sea."
"I couldn't afford to learn it," said the Mock Turtle
with a sigh. "I only took the regular course."
93








Adventures in Wonderland


"What was that!" inquired Alice.
Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with," the
Mock Turtle replied: "and then the different branches
of Arithmetic-Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and
Derision."
"I never heard of 'Uglification,'" Alice ventured to say.
"What is it?"
The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise.
"Never heard of uglifying!" it exclaimed. "You know
what to beautify is, I suppose?"
"Yes," said Alice, doubtfully: "it means-to-make-
anything-prettier."
"Well then," the Gryphon went on, "if you don't
know what to uglify is, you are a simpleton."
Alice did not feel encouraged to ask any more questions
about it, so she turned to the Mock Turtle, and said,
"What else had you to learn?"
"Well, there was Mystery," the Mock Turtle replied,
counting off the subjects on his flappers-" Mystery, ancient
and modern, with Seaography : then Drawling-the
Drawling-master was an old conger-eel, that used to come
once a week: he taught us Drawling, Stretching, and
Fainting in Coils."
"What was that like?" said Alice.
"Well, I can't show it you, myself," the Mock Turtle
said: "I'm too stiff. And the Gryphon never learned it."
"Hadn't time," said the Gryphon: I went to the
Classical master, though. He was an old crab, he was."




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