THE SHPiEL
VOLUME 5 ISSUE 6


11 Adar II 5768 24 Adar II 5768


March 18, 2008 March 31, 2008


Creating culture




is Jewlicious


BY JOSH FLEET
SHPiEL staff writer


At the Hillel at California State
University of Long Beach, a rabbi,
his wife and some other shlub have
been cooking up hefty portions of
cultural cholent--stew--for the past few
years, with the help of Cali's college
students.
CSU Long Beach, one of the largest
public universities in California, is
home to the Jewlicious Festival 4.0, a
pluralistic celebration that is gaining
recognition as a nationally trendsetting


Jewish music and culture event.
"The festival is a gathering of the
tribe," said Rabbi Yonah Bookstein, a
festival creator and organizer and a
Hillel campus rabbi at both CSULB and
the University of California, Irvine.
"It's really a magical weekend...
where everybody feels comfortable and
safe," he said.
The festival boasted multiple events
throughout the weekend and more than
50 musicians and presenters this year.
One event was the new "Greenkeit"
program which brought Jewlicious into
the green.


Jewlicious.com founder David
Abitbol, another of the festival's fathers,
was equally giddy about the success of
this year's venture.
But he was less willing to rely on
Jewish pop culture phrases to convey it.
"That sounded really schmaltzy,"
said Abitbol, mocking Rabbi Yonah.
One of main successes of the Festival
was that the audience "represented
a microcosm of the American Jewish
community," said Abitbol. Everyone
riffed off of each other, he said.
SEE FESTIVAL, PAGE 3


Top Chef chops

kosher suey

BY LANA SELIGSOHN
SHPiEL contributing writer
One of the major hardships of
keeping kosher is the difficulty of
finding exciting restaurants. Gainesville
offers a few kosher delights, but it
certainly'doesn't compare to Manhattan,
where a top Mediterranean-Asian fusion
restaurant also happens to keep kosher.
The restaurant is called Solo and just
signed on Hung Huynh, the winner of
Bravo's third season of "Top Chef"
reality show. His one-month contract as
executive chef begins March 2.
Preparing high-caliber kosher
food presents difficulties that take an
innovative chef.
SEE KOSHER, PAGE 2


th ~yud I el wpae o hrur







2| NEWS The SHPiEL: Volume 5, Issue 6


Kashrut rules no biggie for top chef


Short
SIor riefs
BY BEN CAVATARO }i

(Eight killed at Jerusalem seminary
Eight students were killed and 10 others wounded in an attack by a
lone gunman on a prominent Orthodox yeshiva in Jerusalem.
The attack, the deadliest in Israel in two years, took place at Merkaz
- Harav seminary in West Jerusalem. The gunman walked into a yard at
the seminary and killed a guard before shooting students in the library
with an AK-47 and a pistol. An off-duty Israeli soldier rushed to the
school after hearing shots and killed the shooter. The Arab attacker, who
remains unidentified, was found with documents that identify him as a
resident of East Jerusalem.
No group has claimed responsibility, although Gaza residents-
in the midst of an Israeli incursion that has claimed the lives of 120
Palestinians-celebrated upon hearing of the attack. The United Nations
and world leaders condemned the killings. Both Israeli and Palestinian
foreign ministry officials said the massacre would not halt continuing
peace talks.

{Jewish music to be played in former Nazi stadium)
A clarinetist performed in a stadium build by the Nazis March 7. Giora
Feidman, a Jewish musician who plays klezmer music, was the inaugural
performer in a 515-seat concert hall in the German city of Nuremberg.
The Congress Hall, the largest Nazi-built structure, was part of Nazi
rally grounds infamous for military parades and party conventions in
the late 1930s. Designed in grand neoclassical style after the Colosseum,
the building was to seat 50,000 but was never completed. The hall was in
ruins after World War II. A museum documenting Nazi crimes was built
on the site in 2000. The new $3.8 million concert hall will be used by
Nuremberg's symphony orchestra.

{London Jewish school embroiled in racial controversy}
A Jewish school in North London is under fire after refusing to accept
an 1 1-year-old student because his mother's conversion to Judaism is not
recognized by Britain's Chief Rabbi. The Jewish Free School, one of the
UK's most prestigious Jewish schools, was founded in 1732; with 2,000
students, it is the largest Jewish school in Europe, The case involves
allegations of racial bias and was heard by the High Court March 5.
The student, called "M" in court proceedings, was not accepted at
the school because of his mother's conversion status. "M" is the son
of a Jewish father and a Catholic mother who converted to Judaism.
According to Orthodox Jews, religion is passed through the mother.
Orthodox religious courts do not accept the conversion of the mother
as valid.
The court on Wednesday also discussed a similar lawsuit filed against
the same school by Kate and David Lightman. They claim their daughter
was denied admission to the school because the Office of the Chief Rabbi
did not recognize Kate's conversion to Judaism. She had headed the
department of English studies at Jewish Free School for 17 years.


KOSHER, FROM PAGE 1

All of the ingredients-seafood,
fresh produce, vegetables-must be
used without non-kosher additives,
herbs and spices. Meat pots and pans
must be meticulously separated from
dairy cooking ware.
Huynh is up to the challenge of the
kosher kitchen after his long journey to
win Top Chef last season. He is signed
on to work until April as a guest chef,
but he told the New York Times in a
telephone interview: "Who knows?
Maybe I'll fall in love with the place."
Solo is New York's first entirely
kosher fusion restaurant.
For a few. years, they have been
serving patrons daily on Madison
Avenue and 55th Street-except on
Shabbat.
The restaurant, which offers one of
the most impressive kosher wine lists
in the country, brought on Huynh to
give Solo the intense Asian flair it was
looking for.
The quick and original thinking
Huynh showed on "Top Chef" will help
him work under the strict dietary laws


of kashrut.
The four languages Huynh speaks
and the training he received in Asian
and French cuisine at the Culinary
Institute of America don't hurt, either.
According to the "Village Voice,"
Solo's operating partner Steven Traube
said, "We did this to show appreciation
to our customers, we're confidant that
they'll enjoy his food and talent.
Also, Hung's classical training in
various cuisines and his appreciation
for fused fare make him a perfect fit
for our restaurant." Flavorful items
like curry and lemongrass may make
a regular meal extraordinary while
keeping kosher.
The winner of second-season "Top
Chef," Ilan Hall, participated in a kosher
cook-off called "Dorm Room Challenge"
at the University of Michigan, according
to kosherblog.net.
Hall competed against a professional
kosher chef and won once again with his
tomato ravioli with poached egg yolks.
Like Huynh, he found that working
with the laws of kosher food was not
so difficult because, "Food is food is
food."


-2
THE SHPiEI.



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%0

'0
a,v







The SHPiEL: Volume 5, Issue 6


NEWS13


more than music at Jewlicious 4.0 in California


FESTIVAL, FROM PAGE 1

The festival "presents a very eclectic
mix of very smart Jewish" producers
of culture, said Rachel Bookstein, the
rabbi's wife and CSULB Hillel director.
Included in the mix this year were
Moshav, Ray Shmuel, Y-Love, Matisyahu
(in a surprise acoustic set) and many
more.
Erez Safar, founder and director
of Shemspeed.com, the independent
record label Modular Moods, and the
Sephardic Music Festival, came to the
Jewlicious Festival this year as both a
performer and presenter.
Safar, who will perform under his
moniker dj handler in Gainesville at
PurimPalooza Vol. 2 on March 20, says
the Jewlicious Festival is less a music
festival and "more about making
connections, being inspired and
celebrating it all with Jews."
"It represents unity-bringing all
types of Jews together: unaffiliated,
reform, Chabad, Jews of color," Safar
wrote in an email interview.
"All that with a wide variety of Jewish
music from parody comedic hip hop to
Hasidic rabbi rock, to Yemenite rock to.
Hasidic serious hip hop to spoken word
and acoustic music and reggae."
Steve Stoker, 20, a psychology
student at American Jewish University
in Los Angeles, Ca., attended last year's
festival because his school paid for him
to go.
This year, Steve paid his own way
and even volunteered when he got
there, he said.
"The majority of people come to have
a good time," Steve said. And "everyone
is there to be Jewish."
Steve, who is incredibly secular
but very passionate about the ideals


of tikkun olam (repairing the
world) and Jewish community
continuity, was most impressed
with universality of the festival.
Secular Jews can talk to
Orthodox Jews and there is no
judgment call, he said, echoing
the words of the festival's
organizers.
At any moment during the
festival, one might see "Ultra-
Orthodox Jews mixing with left-
wing peace activists mixing with
frat boys," Rabbi Yonah said.
The creators, said that in the
future they would like to take
the festival out of California and
across the continent, to Texas,
Washington state, Canada and
Florida.
For that to happen, ambitious
students inpotentialcommunities
will need to come together and
organize. "We're so grassroots,
it's kind of scary," they said.


Moshav Band Matisyahu


"Copyrighted Material'

Syndicated Content,

Available from Commercial News Providers"



photos courtesy of David Abitbol
Y-Love on the mic Rabbi Yonah Bookstein

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41 SPORTS


The SHPiEL: Volume 5, Issue 6


All slamming, no dunking


BY NERI STEIN
SHPiEL staff
writer

The Gators
played a
strong first
half until
they lost
their poise to
Kentucky in\
the second. And then to Tennessee
and Mississippi State and Vanderbilt
and Tennessee again. And then, when
it happened again against-Alabama, it
was all over.
The Gator basketball season had
a pretty clear story. The young,
talented team started out strong, but
eventually, they lost their composure
to the more experienced teams.
Even through sloppy play to
end the regular season, the Gators
still had a good shot at a bid to
the NCAA Tournament. But during
championship week, everything got
screwed up. As defending champs,


the Gators had a good chance at a
15 seed to defend their title. They
would've lost in the first round, but
it's the principle that counts.
That hope went to hell when
random teams began winning their
conference championships and
getting


automatic
bids to the
tournament
t h u s,
screwing
over bubble
teams like
the Gators.
But they


And the Gators didn't just fall apart
in the second half this time. They
actually never had it to begin with.
The Gators trailed by as many
as 28 points and Head Coach Billy
Donovan benched his starters early
for not playing with enough energy.
Donovan


Everything [Billy] said in the press
conference would've been said by
ESPN analysts on SportsCenter. And
that's where such statements belong.


still had the SEC


Tournament. The Gators won their
last four championship games at
the Georgia Dome, including one
football, so they had reason to be
hopeful from the start. If they could
win at least their first game of the
SEC Tournament, the Gators would've
had a good shot a going to the NCAA
Tournament.
Alas, Alabama proved too much.


w a s
extremely
disappointed
in his
squad after
the game,


saying this
year's team was no where near as
committed as last year's and that he
wasn't expecting much of a change
next season.
Wow Billy. Way to hit your team
when they're down. I'm sure they
loved losing each one of those
games.
If only there was a time before the
season starts when the coach could
judge players' basketball skills, and
how hard they play.


But who's really that surprised?
If I remember correctly, Billy was a
little busy during last off season.
So Bill, next time you want to
question the players' commitment,
don't say you want to stay at Florida
and then a month later sign with the
Orlando Magic purely for money-
there wasn't anything else there you
could've worked with-and then a
few days later come back to Florida.
The Gators don't lose any points
in my book for this.one. We'll go to
the NIT Tournament which will give
us some big-game experience against
teams we can definitely beat. We
weren't going to have a stellar season
and that was clear from the start.
But Billy, you do lose points. A
coach can talk to his team like that,
but he shouldn't talk to the media in
the same way.
Everything you said in the press
conference would've been said by
ESPN analysts on SportsCenter.
And that's where such statements
belong.


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The SHPiEL: Volume 5, Issue 6


SCENE [5


Todd Hasak-Lowry short-story collection


BY BEN CAVATARO
SHPiEL staff writer

Todd Hasak-Lowy is going global.
The UF assistant professor of modern
Hebrew language and literature
published his well-received debut
fiction work-the short-story collection
"The Task of This Translator"-in 2005.
Now Hasak-Lowy's work has been
translated into Hebrew.
The story collection, "sets the
mundane interactions of everyday life
against tragic backdrops," according to
the Jewish cultural website Nextbook.
Hasak-Lowy's seven stories are filled
with the detail of an academic writer
and the irony and tension of a creative
writer.
In "The End of Larry's Wallet,"
India and Pakistan are about to launch
all-out nuclear war, while the main
character, Larry, is concerned with his
lost billfold. Hasak-Lowy told blogger
Tao Lin that Larry-whose life has been
destroyed and who lost his wife and
maybe his child-is concerned with his
own problems, which appear trivial.
But, Hasak-Lowy says, "They're real,
at least to him. Real and overwhelming.
In that sense, characters in almost every
story are facing just about all they can
handle.


Hasak-Lowy, 38, born to a Jewish
family in Michigan, lived for a year on
a kibbutz in the Negev after high school
before going to college and receiving
his PhD in comparative literature from
the University of California, Berkeley.
He wrote in an email from Israel that
he has "spent longish chunks. of time in
Israel both during undergrad and when.
writing my dissertation as well," and is
now living in Israel along with his family
doing academic research supported by
a one-year stipend.
Still, his connection to Israel is largely
independent of his fiction, which Hasak-
Lowy describes as an "unintended side
effect of my graduate study."
Hasak-Lowy told Erika Dreifus
that he was inspired by the "highly
analytical, exacting, and plain wordy"
style of authors such as Yaakov Shabtai
and Nicholson Baker, Hasak-Lowy began
sporadically writing fiction along with
scholarly papers.
"I don't have a regular writing
schedule," said Hasak-Lowy. "In fact, I
don't write regularly.
This is a function of not only
my academic teaching and research
responsibilities, but the fact that I don't
write unless I have something that I'm
truly excited to be writing about as
well."


In "On the Grounds of the Complex
Commemorating the Nazis' Treatment
of the Jews," Hasak-Lowy writes a story
about two men at Yad Vashem, the
Israeli memorial to the Holocaust, who
fight over a pastry.
The narration is "very exacting, but
also somewhat neutral or objective or
disinterested" in a way "that disinterest
is revealed to be ridiculous," Hasak-
Lowy told
Nextbook.
Has ak-
Lowy, who
wrote the
book over
seven to
eight years, a
said that -
when he striy l
wrote "On
the Grounds"
he was
"trying to
write about
the impossibility of saying anything
intelligent about the Holocaust.
That's why the story focuses on
naming: the two guys aren't named, the
place is not named, the Holocaust is not
named."
The Hebrew translation, which
was published in February, was done


THE TASK OF THIS
.1 R A S A 0

]o r A i(; '


by Yitzhar Vardi. Hasak-Lowy's new
academic book "Here and Now: History,
Nationalism and Realism in Modern
Hebrew Fiction" was published recently
by Syracuse University Press. His next
novel, "Captives," published by Spiegel
& Grau, is scheduled to be released in
fall.


A Vida: taking a look at the life of secret Jews


During the Inquisition, many Jews kept their religion in the closet


BY FARYN HART
SHPiEL staff writer

"If you point at the Friday night stars,
warts will sprout on your fingers!"
This old wives' tale suddenly
adopted new meaning and a Yiddish
translation, Bobe-mayse (superstition),
for Seu Jorge (his name's been changed
for privacy purposes) when he learned
he was Jewish last year.
The status of a Jew is categorized
by his or her commitment to rabbinic
tradition. With the expansion of Jewish
denominations, it seems there is a
new congregation with new amenities,
sprouting every other day.
The fact that Judaism has become an
ethnicity may trouble Orthodoxy bent
on preserving biblical lore.
But many believers, followers or
enthusiasts who would otherwise be
turned away are being welcomed into
the family.
Jorge's family is from Sao Paulo,
Brazil and has roots in the country from
as far back as the 1560's.
It seems too significant that at
that time, Sephardic Jews in Spain
and Portugal were forced to convert


to Christianity or desperately flee
countries of their birth and heritage
during the Inquisitions.
These Jews became known as
Marranos, or secret Jews, which was
originally a derogatory term meaning
"pig" that echoes the sacrilege of
eating pork. The persecution did not
deter these Jews from practicing their
ancestral traditions "in the closet".
Literally, candles lit to welcome in the
Sabbath on Friday nights were kindled
in closets and songs and customs were
disguised by Christian camouflage.
The question arises of the Jewish
status of Anmsim, which is the preferred
term to Marrano and means "forced
ones" in Hebrew.
Anusim are Jews who have been
forced to abandon their Judaism against
their will and do all in their power to
continue practicing Judaism despite the
coercion.
This explains the strange customs
that Jorge and other Marrano families
practice. It was never questioned why
laws of family purity were practiced.
Why dust was swept toward the center
of the room and not out the door (later
discovered to acknowledge the Mezuzah


that could not be placed over the doors)
or why at Christmas some families
would celebrate the birth of Moses
rather than Christ in the basements of
Brazil. The Anusim arranged marriages
between cousins in order to keep the
bloodline pure, since crypto-Judaism
made it impossible to tell who was truly
Jewish.
After five or six generations of
disguised Jewish practices in Brazil
and children not informed of their
heritage, the validity of the Anisim is
controversial and dubious.
Three years ago, when speaking
with a friend whose family had recently
learned of their Marrano descent,
Jorge's sister realized that the family
customs her friend was describing were
similar to her own. The friend showed
her a book with an index of all the
Sephardic last names from Portugal and
in the book was her own name.
The family has since taken on the
extensive research necessary to prove
their Jewish heritage from a maternal
line validated by the near impossible-
to-find and meager pile of birth, death
and marriage certificates that survived
burning during the Inquisition.


The Jorge's were not brought up
with any religion. They never went to
church though they expected they were
Christian.
When learning he was Jewish, Jorge
was eager to take on his new Jewish way
of life. He comes to Rabbi Yonah's "Let's
Get Biblical" lessons on Wednesday
nights at the University of Florida
Hillel., has been attending Shabbat
services on Fridays and recently took
part in the first all-night Yeshiva held at
Hillel. He loves the sense of community
and brotherhood that encompasses
Judaism. "Everyone knows each other
and I'm even more comfortable with
Jewish jokes now," he said.
The truth is that any institution
exudes a sense of exclusivity difficult
to penetrate. If you were circumcised at
eight days old, you were automatically
accepted into a family that connects you
to a tree that extends its roots around
the world. The doubt and difficulty that
accompanies converts and returned
Jews doesn't exist.
Proving lineage is difficult and
requires a commitment the Jorge's
have undertaken. The proof is in the
pudding...as long as it is kosher!







61 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT


The SHPiEL: Volume 5, Issue 6


AA)/


An interview with Alic o Rabin
An -interview with I Alicia Jo Rabin


BY ELAINE WILSON
SHPiEL staff writer

The strings of Alicia Jo Rabin's fiddle
can serenade shipmates, sing the songs of
Biblical women or perhaps start a mosh pit.
This talented and versatile young woman
could even make an entire shtetl do the
two-step.
Beginning classical training on the violin
at 3 years old, Alicia Jo Rabins never knew
music would take her out to sea or into a
museum to tell the story of Jews across the
ages.
Currently playing with the band

The SHPiEL: I read that you learned
some of your "old-timey" tunes
while you were on a schooner. What
brought you out to sea? What was
that experience like?

Alicia Jo: I had never been on a boat
before and I wanted to go somewhere
abroad and I wasn't sure where. I
heard through a friend about the "sea
semester" where they teach you how
to sail a tall ship on a schooner. No
recorded music was allowed on board
because it would drive everyone
crazy and I had my violin. I didn't
want to play classical music because
it didn't seem quite right, and there
was a man with a fiddle who taught
me some fiddle tunes. That's how I
got into fiddle music.


TS: Your introduction to klezmer
took place when a strange man
handed you sheet music and told
you that you had the "soul of a
Klezmer." What was your initial
impression and what influenced
you to keep up with it?

AJR: I was playing in the street in
Baltimore and put my case out to play
to make dollars or make people smile,
and this older man came by and said
"you should play klezmer if you don't
already." I told him I didn't and he


"Golem," a folk-punk group that captures
the sound of Eastern European Jews with
a modern edge, Alicia Jo brings klezmer to
our generation.
On March 16, the fiddler extraordinaire
performed original music and poetry at
New York City's Jewish Museum for the
event, "Off the Wall: Artists at Work," taking
museum goers through the museum's
galleries while bringing to life the tragic
stories of women in the Torah with a series
called "Girls in Trouble."
Alicia Jo shpieled for us about inspiration
on the waves, her klezmeric soul and her
fascination with the Torah's darker side:

told me to stay there and came back a
half an hour later with a folder full of
sheet music.

I grew up in a neighborhood where
there weren't many [Jews] and so I
always had all these questions about
what Judaism really meant. I got
interested in the music because it was
Jewish music and some of the songs
were ones that my grandmother used
to sing me. I also found a record called
"Fidl" by Alicia Svigals and loved it.
And between learning the sheet music
and hearing the recording of the
music, I really learned that I wanted
to play this style. I ended up having a
couple of lessons with Alicia [Svigals]
and she actually recommended me
to the band "Golem" who I now play
with.


TS: For the "Girls in Trouble" songs
played before exhibits-did you
pick and choose according to your
favorite Torah stories?

AJR: I had already started to write
it and the museum invited me to
perform. So I actually am picking
from a larger selection of music.

I am drawn to darker stories in the
Torah-I was an English major in
college so I love a good story-and


photos courtesy of Alicia Jo Rabin


I found so many dark, rich, nuanced
stories in the Torah that were things
I hadn't expected to be in there. And
I picked some of these to write about
because I think the tension between
this religious book with all of this
wisdom and these stores showing
how dark the world can be fascinates
me. I like that the Torah isn't a book
that has sweet stories all the time.


TS: How did you emulate the distress
of women from thousands of years
ago? What is the songwriting
process?

AJR: I tend to take a long time to write
a song so I would read the story a lot


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The SHPiEL: Volume 5, Issue 6


Apple's


ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT I


not just keeping the doctor away:


MacBook Air ad shoots Yael Naim to Fame


BY DANIELLE NICHOLS
SHPiEL staff writer

Lately, the Apple Company has been
doing a lot more than selling iPods,
laptops and iPhones. It has promoted
music artists as well by using a wide
array of music in the commercials for
these products. When Apple decides
to use an artist's song, the song gains
mass popularity by the next day.
When Apple decided to use Yael
Naim's song "New Soul" to pitch their
new MacBook Air product, the song
instantly jumped up the iTunes song
downloads chart. The song is currently
ranked No. 1 on iTunes and the album,
also entitled "New Soul," ranks sixth.
Yael was born in 1978 in Paris but
she spent a large part of her childhood
in Ramat Hacharon, a small town not far
from Tel Aviv. She began her musical
career at the age of 18 when she met
Wynton Marsalis' musicians in a jazz
club in Tel Aviv. She performed some
concerts with them and eventually


managed to form a group called The
Anti Collision who played in clubs
around the country.
However, it was in 2000 at a charity
concert in Paris that Yael was noticed by
EMI producers with whom she signed a
contract for an album. Her first album,
"In a Man's Womb," recorded in Paris
and Los Angeles, was finally released in
2001 but did not gain much publicity
or success. Her name really began
to circulate after she was spotted by
director Elie Chouraqui, who asked her
to play the role of Miriam (Moses' sister)
in "The Ten Commandments." She was
then approached to do the original
sound track for the film "Harrison's
Flowers."
Yael's music really began to bloom
and take a unique direction when she met
multi-instrumentalist David Donatien
on stage in 2004. He renewed her
motivation to pursue producing music
without the help of a major label. In a few
years, they assembled an eclectic group
of musicians which consisted of Xavier


Tribolet (drums), Laurent David
(bass), Voed Nir (cello) and Julien
Feltin (electric guitar). Between all
of the artists they have created a
sound of their own that has been
described as having a touch of
folk and jazz with mysterious
and evocative words sung with a
delicate and intentionally slightly
husky voice.
Yael may end up following the
same rise to stardom as other
singers who became famous'
for being featured in Apple
commercials. Leslie Feist, a
Canadian singer whose hit "1234"
was used in Apple commercials
during the iPod Nano release, has
now sold over 500,000 copies
of her album and has four Grammy
nominations.
Yael's second album "New Soul,"
from her self-titled album, has songs in
French, English and Hebrew. She worked
with David Donatien for over two years
to build her collection of songs for


the album and recorded it using one
computer in her Paris apartment. The
album has been popular in France since
its release in the fall of last year and will
be released in the US on the March 18 by
Atlantic Records. However, the album
can already be accessed worldwide on
iTunes Apple store.


of times and a commentary about the
story to get a richer version of it in
my mind and have, more material to
pick from. I do a lot of waiting for
the character's voice to speak to me.
I've had novelists tell me that they
hear their characters voices speak to
them and I have experienced the same
things when I've been trying to write


AliciaJo performing with Golem.


a song. I'll hear the characters' voice:
"No, no that's not actually how it went."
There's something archetypal about each
of [the women] and there's something that
a normal person now could relate to.


TS: How do you feel. about performing
at the Jewish Museum? What does this
point in your career signify?

AJR: I'm excited about this performance
because it's the first public performance of
the song cycle and it's non-formal, as it will
be played traveling through the galleries.
I'm playing a song about Jephthah's
daughter who is sacrificed by her father,
and the museum has a gallery with a
sacrificial altar where I'll be playing it. I
think it will be exciting having something
in the museum to connect to this story
about something that actually happened.


TS: You will also be reading your poetry
during the event. Do you ever experience
a crossover of themes with your poetry
into music, or vice versa?

AJR: I do. I find that whenever I'm making
art I'm thinking about the same questions
through different media and I think


that the crossover might not be as
obvious for someone who saw into
my head. But I think I'm asking the
same questions through poems or
instrumental music.

Part of the exciting thing is, I
think, museums and religion have
a tendency to freeze things in time,
in a way, but art and spirituality are
essentially, in a really personal way.
living their own lives.

I'm excited to be playing new,
live music in museum galleries and
learning new songs about really old
stories. And. the experience of these
things together will be tremendous.

A recording of the performance will
be made into a pod cast to make an
audio tour. It will be included on the
museum website so those who can't
be there for the performance can
download it and put it on their iPod
to listen to it as they walk through
the galleries.

For more information regarding Alicia Jo and
the "Off the Wall: Artists at Work" project she's
a part of, hit their Web site at http://www.
thejewishmuseum.org/offthewall/.







8 1KVETCH The SHPiEL: Volume 5, Issue 6

: IIIIIIIlIIllIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIllIIl lll l 1 1 1 1IIIIIIIIIIIIII 1 IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIiiIIIIIIII11111111 IIIIIIIIIIIIII I IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIII IIIIIIU. 1..


|W1GQeEoDe D h Kh3a3dGt Think of the children

Children cheating of many armies who killed in their family's houses or while the responsibility of the "other side,"
KHADER ABU EL-HAUA don't vote civilians over and over. shopping with their parents. I say such speeches are empty noise.
and I can see Both the Axis and the Allies argued Infants don't even fight with I'm a Muslim, and I do believe in =
the reasons about targeting government officials words. They don't even know how to God and Judgment Day. I trust that
why. But this and civilians on both sides. Saying say'Mom' yet. Children who are killed God will question every criminal who
Doesn't mean it was "total war" or saying anyone by bombings in shops care about toys killed children unjustly. The excuses
they should who works in the government of the and delicious foods and drinks. They of being on the "just side in the war"
be ignored Commander in Chief is a part of the don't care who is fighting whom. will not work. God is not stupid or -
in politics or enemy war machine, was horrifying. They are pure innocence, heedless, I'm sure. If criminals are -
treated like Whether the head of one of these There is a very nasty game of forgiven, it is because they are His
nothing during wars. governments was a king, a president politics going on inside the Israeli and creation, but if He punishes them,
S Throughout human history of or a despot, no Palestinian then it is because He is the Almighty,
conflict, there have been soldiers of consideration governments: the Wise.
Armies, mercenaries, militias, armed of innocent 1 really don't understand games of Kids will be in paradise playing,
Settlers of colonies, policemen with civilians was those losers who don't popularity, happy and having fun, no matter =
- guns, and guerrillas. Some people taken. .. p o w e r what. They are innocent anyways.
argue about the difficulty to draw There is too istinguis between elections. Children don'tvote,butwe canvote
Sthe line between a citizen and a much sadness fighters and nonfighters. And I don't for people who lead communities. If
Military person during any conflict, in seeing how think they we are not in a war zone we still have
Sor between fighters on or off .the many innocent have finished power over politicians, by our votes
Battlefield. I really don't understand people are killed. I wonder how much playing the game of money. These and demands. From local efforts it =
those losers who don't distinguish madness there is in the empty heads games can be very addictive, can reach to international levels to
Between fighters and nonfighters. of people who kill children. To both sides, I say: if you can protect children living where violence
S I'm not an expert on international Many times in the conflict in solve your problems without using and war is a local issue.
law or Geneva treaties. But I'm sure the Holy Land I've seen Palestinian weapons, and you're using them, May Peace be in the Holy Land.
That kids are innocent, military groups and the Israeli army then you're cheating yourselves, Amen.
I'm very disgusted with how both try to put pressure on the other side your people, and the innocent kids Questions? Comments? Contact Khader
World wars were conducted, and the by killing civilians. Kids are killed who are in your care. If they say it's at khader.abuelhaija@gmail.com
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII1 l lI llII IIII1 IIII1l1l1 IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII 1IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII 11I 1ll 11IIIIIIIIII1 IIIIIIIIII IIII






Days since Super Smash Bros Brawl 10 O M a o"
came out for Nintendo Wii:
Number of playable characters in Brawl: 35
Badass-ness (on 1-10 scale) of the new
Smash Ball in Brawl: 9.3
Nintendo Wii's sold in February: 432,000 w I 7 i
Nintendo NES (original Nintendo) units 60000000
sold worldwide: 60,000,000
Years since NES was released in the US: 22
Initial price of the Pong home console in $100 Kori I 1 if
1975:
Average number of books children read ei T n o I,
per month before the video game hike 4l -
of the early 1980s:
After the hike: 1 t wit,
Cases of depression expected to be I
reported when Lost takes another long 21,000 MOVW It .'
break after next week's episode: I


The SHPiEL does not guarantee that the information or statistics in this table are either factual
or accurate, and in fact we probably just made half of this crap up. So please don't hold us
accountable if you try to show off your new knowledge in front of all your friends and someone
calls you out on your idiocy.








The SHPiEL: Volume 5, Issue 6


KVETCH 19
1'


My goodness my Guinness is greater


BY DOUG SHARF
SHPiEL staff writer

Over spring break I fell in love with a
man named Arthur Guinness.
We-met at an Albertson's, saw each
other through the glass refrigerator
door, and the rest is history.
And just when I thought things
couldn't get any better, Art surprises
me. I hear a rattle after finishing my
bottle of Draught. I squint, one eye and
look in to see what appears to be a
white, plastic cylinder. Immediately my
fingers were on the keyboard, scurrying
to Guinness.com.
Get this folks: in the Draught bottles,
Guinness puts what is called a "rocket
widget." It is a rocket shaped plastic
thing that releases nitrogen gas every
time the bottle is tilted up for a swig.
This release agitates the beer in just
the right way so the trademark creamy
head remains on the beer till the very
last drop.
My past Guinness experience has
been limited to pints at the bar; so this
widget is new to me and I feel it is my
duty to shed this light on those who are
in the dark.
What also jumps out at me is
Guinness' honest business ethic.
Keeping the essential creamy head in
a Draught bottle costs them millions
and millions of dollars per year, but the


cost of the beer was not raised by any
noticeable amount.
How would life be if all big businesses
had this kind of upstanding morality?:
Sara Lee would have Lipitor
sprinkled on their cheesecakes
All bongs would come with built
in ash-catchers
Orville Redenbacher's would
come with dental floss in the bag
Washers and dryers would come
with maids
The closest thing that's out is a
Spalding basketball that has a pump
installed into it, so at least there is
evidence of progress.
SIf your minds weren't already
completely blown away, Guinness now
makes a surgery can. This is a can of
Draught that when poured into the glass
is totally flat, but then you place it on
this device. When you push the button
on the device, it sends an ultrasonic
pulse through the beer, igniting the
dormant nitrogen and carbon dioxide.
Now you have a Guinness that tastes
just like it came from the keg. Generally
the device can only be found in bars,
but I have a feeling this surging unit
will soon be a standard in domestic
kitchens around the world.
So, thank you, Arthur. I will always
love you.


Neurotica for picky eaters


BY LORI FINKEL
SHPiEL staff writer

A few days ago I watched this
...ahem... free adult-Internet movie
where the young lady getting shtupped
featured a bold, black Star of David
tramp stamp. I never realized there was
a fetish for Jews until I scrolled down
and read viewer comments. Among
many were, "Do you know where I can
find naked Jewish women?" and "Damn,
that Jew chick is HOTT."
Well you're damn right, MrSpank27.
If you too have a fetish for talit
wearers and yarmulke bearers, check out
KinkyJews.com. KinkyJews is hosting
a Purim soiree, King Achashverosh's
Purim Striptease Extravaganza, at a
strip club in Manhattan. From what I
could glean from the site, this isn't just
another Hillel-type mixer-it's the real


SUSAN NEUGROSCHEL, GRI, CRS
REALTOtKSSOCIA. rE
(352) 3725375 BUS., (800 755-0086 TOIl FREE
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kink. The event is so underground that
you have to e-mail someone to find out
the time and place for meeting up.
I'd find out for you, but I'm at a
public library and I'd like to keep my
computer.
Scroll down KinkyJews and you'll
find just about every porn site and
Internet group relating to Jews in the
nude. One advantage to checking out
the sites: The guilt-free self-love. Now
you can honestly say "yes" when mom
asks if you've been seeing any nice
Jewish girls.
It's self-affirming (and about time)
that we hot young Jewish chicks
serve as the object of fantasy. We've
transcended to an established fetish
just like every other cultural and ethnic
group out there. Finally, we're legit.
Now get on your knees and take me
shopping.


19 Ways The SHPiEL Would Probably


Not Advise You to Save Some Cash

Okay, we've all been there. Spring break just passed and on the heels
of the boozin' and schmoozin' and 3 a.m. pizza runs and cruises to the
Bahamas or Mexico or the this year's new tropical paradise destination,
you get home and realize you're flat broke. Now, there are a lot of things
you can do that will help ease the pressure, but we here at The SHPiEL just
wanted to tell you a list of ways that we would probably not advise yoi,
save some green (most of them anyway). Because I mean, of course none of
us have ever done any of these things, and some of them could probably
get you in trouble. So if you do try anything on this list just know that we
can't be your one phone call and no we don't have bail money because we
are just as strapped as you are.

1) Spice Up Your Life- take salt and pepper shakers from
tables at fast food joints
2) Rollin Papers- Those TP holders in public restrooms
open with any set of keys
3) A Real Dish- Bring a backpack, and dining hall dishes
come home with you
4)- Milk it Good- Bring empty bottles and fill them with a
milk and juice at buffets
5) Keep it Saucy- Stuff your pockets with free condiment
packets from gas stations
6) Making Spoons- Load up on free plastic utensils
available all over campus
7) Wrap it Before You- Yes, free condoms are available on
campus so no excuses!
8) Lean Back- Front yards have lawn furniture that would
go with your living room
9) Raise it Up- Construction sites are a great place to get
cinder blocks for bed risers
10) Gotcha Covered- Skip cover, ask someone leaving the
bar for their wrist band
11) Home Sweet Home- Locate abandoned apartments/
houses and become a squatter
12) Blinding Light- Put sunglasses on your head, walk
around the store a bit and leave
13) Sportin' Ink- Take ink cartridges out of the package in
the store (no security tag)
14) Chips are Down- Moe's chips are endless, just swipe an
empty basket or bag
15) Under Wraps- On the plane, don't return the blanket and
pillow they give you
16) Drink it in- Wear an "I'm 21, buy me a drink hat" to the
bar and booze for free
17) Park It- Stand at a parking area with an official looking
sign and charge people
18) Chump Change- Throw a fistful of pennies in the toll
basket and it lets you pass
19) Buggin' Out- Bring a dead bug to dinner, say it was in
your food, voila! free meal


@ Is Tonya Blackman
TRETOW MANAiGER

Phone: (800) 258-2861
Fax: (877) 942-4135
www.myserviceoffice.com
e-mail: tblacltman @*veodfiee.com


uTHE SHPiEL
Opinions expressed in this section do not necessarily
reflect those of The SHPiEL. We encourage comments
from readers who possess all points of view. No,
really, we're interested in what you have to say. Feel
free to write a letter to the editor or you can contact
us with a column idea. Please send comments to
theshpiel@gmail.com.






10 1 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT


The SHPiEL: Volume 5, Issue 6


i








The SHPiEL:Volume 5, Issue 6 :CALENDAR & GAMES Il 11





ur SMy Tuesday Wednesdayuraana Fidyig StuardaO


0


JAM Purim carnival
North Lawn of the
Reitz Union
2 pm 4 pm

Suddenly Last Sum-
mer
last showing at the
Hippodrome
8pm d^k


JAM BBQ & foam
party
Hillel
6:30 pm
Klezmer
Congregatic B'I-
israel
7 pm 10,


i K
.1
, r


Band of Horses
Common Grounds
(sold out)
Juno
Reitz Union Cinema
8 pm & 10:30 pm
KOACH: Party in
the Old Country
Hillel
7 pm.


4jWILI,


"Israel at 60"
Plaza of the Americas
11 am
Klezmer
Congregate B'Nai
Israel
7 pm


Gator Soccer
vs Iowa
5 pm

Sweeney Todd-
Reitz Union Cinema
8 pm & 10:30 pm


199


Discussion about
the media's portray-
al of Israel
Temple Shir Shalom
7 pm
Phantom Planet
Market Street Pub
8 pm
Let's Get Bibliial
with Rabbi Yonah
Hillel
8 pm


Purim Extravaganza
Congregation B'Nai
Israel
6:30 pm
Hairs and other
Animals
Reitz Union Gallery
7 pm
Purim P za vol.2
10 p
10 pm


VegFest
Plaza of the Americas
10 am
Expanded Knitting
Circle
Hillel
7:30 pm
The Gong Show
Orange and Brew :
9 pm


Miegillan reading
Turlington, Plaza of the
Americas, Reitz Union
All Day
"The Orphanage"
Hippodrome
7 pm and 9 pm
I Am Legend
Reitz Union Auditorium
9pm& 11:30 pm


Kabbalat Shabbat
Congregation B'Nai
Israel
6 pm
"4 Months, 3
Weeks and 2
Days" opens
Hippodrome
7 pm & 9 pm :.,
.. .
-- ..
-- ,....ff ..


The Vagina Monologues Yoga Nidra for
Reitz Union Auditorium Stress Reduction
9:30 am Student Health Care ) A flick we've picked
West Gallery Space in Center
the Reitz Union 12 pm
11am
Yoga Music we groove to
All About My Mother Hillel .
(Todo Sobre Mi 5:30 pm
Mama) -
Reitz Union en Jazz Free Sci-Fi movie screening, 7 pm
8 pm & 10: 3 Leonardo's 706 r I '
8pm & 10:37:30 pmi 6


Gator Soccer
vs Longwood
12 pm & 2:30 pm--
Micah Shalom & the
Babylonians
Common Grounds
6 pm
Turkish Cultural Night
Reitz Union Gra
Ballroom
8 pm
L8


18th Annual Kanapaha
Spring Garden Festival
Kanapaha Botanical
Gardens
9 am 6 pm
National Treasure:
Book of Secrets
Reitz Union Auditorium
8 pm & 10:30 pm
Soulphoinmc
The Atlantic
10 pm


06


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121 FEATURE


The SHPiEL: Volume 5, Issue 6


Mordecai, the other Sorting Hat


BY NERI STEIN
SHPiEL staff writer

We all remember what it was like
during the summer between junior and
senior year of high school when you
wanted to relax, have fun and not worry
about school. But your parents just
wouldn't let you.
""So what colleges are you going to


apply to? What do you want to major
in? What are you going to do with your
life?"
God that was fun to hear twice a
day. But I admit I was starting to worry
about it myself. Finally, when senior
year started and my dad asked where I
wanted to go to school, I came up with
the right answer.
"I'm applying to Hogwarts."


PURIMPALOOZA


"You can't go there."
"Why not?"
"Because it's not a real school."
My mom, on the other hand, had
other feelings towards Hogwarts.
"There aren't any Jews there."
Well, let's examine that fact now,
-shall we? Hogwarts is a place that
accepts everyone (everyone *who's a
wizard, that is). There are four different


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houses, so we've got to fit in at least
one, right? I'll play the Sorting Hat for a
moment -- but I'm not singing a song.
Gryffindor: the house of courage
and chivalry. The Gryffindors are the
leaders of the pack, if you will. With
that in mind, I'd put Steven Spielberg,
Sandy Koufax and of course, Daniel
Radcliffe in this house. Dustin Hoffman
is also one of our top guys I'd say. And
uh... needless to say, Paul Newman. But
our token Gryffindor, in other words,
our Neville Longbottom, is Ben Stiller.
Always the butt of the joke but clearly
everyone's favorite.
And on to Ravenclaw. The house of
the wisest and most creative wizards
of all. They are also the wittiest-
apparently. Clearly, Bob Dylan is right
at home here along with Jon Stewart,
Mel Brooks and the always stunning and
intelligent Natalie Portman. Ravenclaw's
token member is Luna Lovegood and
her Jewish counterpart is Wynona
Ryder. Unfortunately we have to have
a Cho Chang. That honor goes to Paula
Abdul. I know, her mother is Jewish and
her father is actually a Syrian Jew. She's
really not that fun to have around and
that's why she's our Cho Chang.
Hufflepuff: the shy but loyal and
dependable folks. Oh, MatthewBroderick
you were born to be in Hufflepuff. And
Selma Blair is right there next to you.
Albert Einstein is a tricky one but I'd
say he's a bit more of a Hufflepuff than
a Ravenclaw. And the real-life Jewish
version of Cedric Diggory, Hufflepuff's
Gryffindoresque member, is without
question Harrison Ford. He's not too
outlandish, but he sure does steal the
spotlight.
Lastly, those sneaky Slytherins.
They're cunning, ambitious and kind
of the bad guys I guess. It's a little
hard to imagine we fit in this house,
but I happen to think they have a bad
rap. Alan Greenspan, Mark Cuban,
internet mogul and owner of the Dallas
Mavericks, and Bob Kraft of Kraft
Cheese and owner of the New England
Patriots, are all darn good businessmen
with a lot of ambition, but that doesn't
make any of them evil. Bruce Pearl on
the other hand, is not a Voldemort but
is definitely a Draco Malfoy. You really
only like him sometimes.
The Head Boy and Head Girl honors
have to go to Matthew Broderick and his
beautiful wife Sara Jessica Parker. Their
son and Gwyneth Paltrow's daughter
will take the title when they're old
enough.
But wait a second. I'm not saying
there aren't any Jews at Hogwarts
already. Hermione Granger couldn't be
more Jewish. She's got big, bushy brown
hair, she's the smartest in the class
and she's a Muggle-born who handles
adversity with her head held high. Oh,
and both of her parents are dentists so,
case closed.


V -


MEGILLAH READING AT 8:30 P.M.

PARTY BEGINS AT 10:00 P.M. AT XS.


OPEN BAR, COSTUME CONTESTS AND FREE

GIFTS ALL NIGHT. FEATURING THE VELV IUN

PINK AND, RETURNING FOR THE SECOND

TIME, DJ HANDLER FROM NEW YORK.


'50 G Ui BE


~ "