THE SHPiEL
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November 7, 2006 November 21, 2006 5766 ,30 11n 5766 16 rTI.
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Ovations


for Oprah
'-j:* By Josh Kaller

ST he trumpets blared, the cherubs
I chimed, and a skyquake shook
the Golden Gates. Heaven was not
happy to send this one away. Her
S name brings joy when spoken and
g. "peace when sung.
'Tis Oprah.
She graces our television sets,
silver screens, book vendors, and
Web sites. To seat all her world-
wide fans would require at least
150 Ben Hill Griffin stadiums.
Appearing in Beloved, Charlotte's
Web, Native Son and various other
made-for-TV movies, she has
Certainly demonstrated her range
of talent. Her work in Spielberg's remake of The Color Purple the
Alice Walker book of slavery, suffering, and salvation in the South
brought her an Academy Award nomination. Her hands juggle the
many dimensions of her personality: talk show host, philanthropist,
radio personality, potential 2008 election candidate...There is no
limit to the Oprah.
But there was a beginning. Bor January 29, 1954 in Kosciusco,
Mississippi. Educated to read by her grandmother at two and a half,
and already giving speeches in front of her church at age three, Oprah
Winfrey was destined to talk and enlighten. Elected for Senior class
president, crown holder of the Miss Fire Prevention (1971) and Miss
Black Tennessee (1971) beauty competitions, graduate of Tennessee
State University, Oprah proved to have both beauty and brains. At 19
she read news for a Nashville radio station, and went on to become
Nashville's first female African-American TV correspondent. Her
success brought her to Baltimore where she caught a big break and
later found herself in the windy city hosting A.M Chicago the
beginning of Oprah's transformation from caterpillar into Monarch
Butterfly. The show A.M Chicago took on the name of its host and
The Oprah Winfrey Show was born. Thus her empire began.
Oprah now reigns supreme as Time magazine's most influential
woman. With a net worth of over $1.5 billion, she certainly holds the
scepter for the most powerful woman in the world.
Oprah's life is an important one for our collective human history.
Just as we search the minds and passions of women like Rosa Parks,
Susan B. Anthony, Mother Theresa, we too must look to Oprah as a
surrogate-mother to the left-behinds of our hearts. Looking deeper
into Oprah's history, we find it riddled with sexual assault, physical
and psychological abuse, drug use, promiscuity, and love-addiction.
It is the very dark background of her past that allows her brilliance
to shine.
If it were not for the hardships we trudge through on our mortal
moving minutes on this earth, would our efforts be worth anything?
I asked my mother.
My mother is a five-foot powerhouse of thought, intellect,
courage, and devotion. She is one of the strongest people I know.
For the past 26 years she has worked Monday-Saturday, 10am-
6pm, at her store. She worked for bread, she worked for butter,
she worked for her babies. Her success was dependent on only one
thing, herself. Many parallels to Oprah come to mind. My mom
never had it easy as a child, either.
(CONTINUED ON PAGE 8)


Sex Sells, but Does it Rule?

Scandals that Have Rocked the White

House and Beyond since the 17 t Century

By Lori Finkel

M ark Foley, Bill Clinton, and Israel's own Moshe Katsav are only the latest of the political elite to
enjoy a highly publicized romp at the expense of political reputation. Looking back in history, it
seems sex scandals within politics are by no means a New Deal. There must be something aphrodisiacal
about authority that got these men and their mistresses riled up and ready to rumble. Go ahead and buckle
your seatbelts, ladies and gents. We're about to examine a history of sex scandals in the ole' red, white and
blue.
If you're having first lady problems, I feel bad for you son
Oval-office shtupping began with our third President and author of the Declaration of Independence,
Thomas Jefferson. You remember him, the guy who advocated equality for mankind while housing slaves
in his backyard? Not only did Jefferson house slaves, he also knocked one up. Jefferson's mistress, a
black female slave named Sally Hemmings, bore many of his children. In time, South Carolina Senator
Strom Thurmond's similar private dealings would also be exposed. His illegitimate bi-racial daughter
stepped in front of news cameras shortly after his death.
(CONTINUED ON PAGE 6) .





Page 2 The Shpiel




The SHPiEL j




The Only Student-Run Jewish Campus Newspaper .
in the Country rA 4 '
Right Here at The University of Florida
Volume 2 Issue 6 I A A it


Table of Contents
(the Innards)



Finding Religion:
Catholicism + Judaism = Unitarian Universalism?


Eyes on the News:
Plus, a student trying to blog her way out of Iran.


Arts and Entertainment:
Local musician vs. MTV.


ilectio Day:
Sex and politics.


On the Campain Trail:
The Rabbi gives the secret to a successful run for office.


Ad Page:
L@@k!


Not All Those Who Wander are Lost:
Pimpin' and drunken debauchery version.


Sports and Books:
Learn how to behave yourself and stand on your head.


Calendar:
Get out; there's more to life than Borat.


Gin 'n' Jewce:
Party with your people.


Special thanks to Hillel at the University of Florida


"...and the American people deserve creative solutions!"


The SHPiEL Players


Chief Steward


First Mate Executive Advisor


Skipper.


Captain News Editor

Chancellor Executive Managing Editor

Commanding Columns Editor

President Executive Business Director


Ruling Executive Finance Director


Wizard of Executive Distributidn


The Eminent Ministers of Public Relations



Chief Executive Photographer


President Executive Israeli Correspondent

Executive Art Design/Layout Specialists


Royal Master of the Web


Executive Advertising Board


Rabbi Yonah Schiller
rabbiyonah@theshpiel.org

Michal Meyer
michalr@theshpiel.org


Josh Kaller
pundiit@ufl.edu


Kim Gouz

Hilary D'Angelo

Gisele Mazur

Laura Jones
ljoss@theshpiel.org

Ori Zalman Lubotsky
zoro@theshpiel.org

Isaac Sapoznik
sliml385@ufl.edu

Rachel Rodrigues
smarty22@ufl.edu
Alison Meyer
alimich@uff.edu

Jennifer Hamish
chippewa@theshpiel.org

Leo Stein

Tracy Flack
Allison Schiller

Jeremy Fields
froma@ufl.edu

Antoine Rohlehr


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Page 3 The Shpiel



Faith With a New Face


Religion receives a facelift to fit into a modern world


O ur lives are a series of chains; the chains of DNA that link our genetic structures,
the chains of thought that command our movements and guide our emotions, and
even the chains of ancestors that link us to our beliefs and heritage. But in a world
where the links overlap and tangle it is often difficult to see where the chains started, or
where they may lead.
Isla Greenwald, 18, of R.
Gainesville, Florida, grew up it,
in a home where the ties were .
so entangled it seemed nearly "
impossible for her to select one
branch of her family tree. Her "- -
mother, Pam, grew up in a Jewish
household, while her father,
James, was raised in a Catholic ;
family. With such a diverse past,
Isla's future religious beliefs
were unclear. The mixing of her o ,
parents' traditions led to their .i". ,
own blend of Universalism, a .
form of religious liberalism.
They based their beliefs
on accepting modern day
diversities and embracing
love as the highest means of
spirituality. Starting their own
new chain of contemporary
beliefs, their children were
able to grow and develop into a m p
hybrid of their ancestry. er a
"They called themselves a i :-
Cathojews," Pam Greenwald said.
"It never bothered them that they n.
were this mixed thing. It didn't mean that they were choosing one over the other, just
that they were learning more."
The family believed that all religions were based on the same ideals, and so focused
on meditation, reincarnation and karma as the core of their way of life. Their somewhat
atypical religious beliefs perfectly coincided with the family's unique lifestyle. Growing
up in the countryside the kids were raised on fresh goat's milk and a home schooled
education. The ingredients of a good life, Pam Greenwald said. The family opened
Angel Gardens, a store, restaurant, and home to "healing workshops" which offer solace
to those of all faiths, in 1991. Even with a strong personal understanding of their beliefs,
the family found it hard to exercise traditions that required the involvement of official
religious practices. The Catholic Church would not baptize the children because they
were not raised strictly Catholic, and they were denied many Jewish traditions because
they had never attended Hebrew school.
Isla, the youngest, watched her siblings Chlo6, Josiah and Mason miss out on the
traditional Jewish bar or bat mitzvah. The religious landmark that symbolizes the
reaching of adulthood at age 13 was neglected. The right of passage experienced by
their mother and by decades of Jewish ancestors seemed to have been overlooked. That
is until 6 years ago. Under her grandmother's influence 12-year-old Isla came home one
day and told her family she wanted to be bat mitzvahed. Realizing they had missed out
on something important, Josiah and Mason decided to follow the lead of their sister and
set in motion what the family calls "the fabulous trimitzvah."
With no knowledge of Hebrew the three began studying with Rabi Shaia Eisenberg
and their teacher Connie Stem. They embarked on a journey into their past, exploring
Judaism together and learning about their personal beliefs along the way. Many bumps
disrupted them on their speed course to learn torah and haftorah portions in only six
months. Their non-Jewish father had doubts, worrying that the ceremony meant they
were choosing to be Jewish rather then embracing both religions as they had been
brought up.
"I wasn't sure if I was letting the right thing happen, but in a spiritual sense
they wanted to do something spiritual and I supported that," James Greenwald said.
However, when James saw his children's dedication any underlying fears seemed to
melt away. He realized their Jewish heritage was something they needed to connect
with, it did not mean they were forgetting his beliefs but expanding on them. They also
faced a lot of pressure from Rabi Shaia Eisenberg; he had little experience working with
teens their age and held high expectations for his unique pupils.
"Shaia wasn't sure if these kids were dedicated," Pam said. "In the end they totally


pulled it off and blew his mind."
The weekend long affair included 40 guests from Atlanta and an array of
untraditional accents. Held at the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, a non-
denominational church, Isla had a separate service and party from her brothers.
S 18-year-old Josiah and
16-year-old Mason opted for
a Saturday afternoon service
-- .. and a party on Sunday. Even in
Sa community where Judaism
i" '"t was the minority, local friends
showed support. They joined the
celebration held at Market Street
Pub that catered to its unusually
more grown-up, teenage
attendees. The party's mature
Atmosphere, accompanied their
adult mind-sets, allowed them
S to have a greater comprehension
e; of their ceremonies importance.
Although they had passed
the traditional age of a bar
Mitzvah they felt more prepared
Mentally and emotionally for the
undertaking of adulthood.
S "I think it was a good thing
that I waited until I was 18
to do it because I was able to
appreciate it much more at that
age then I would have when I
was younger,":Josiah said.
Isla's services were held
Saturday morning and continued
at the Savannah Grand on Saturday night.
"It was neat learning a whole new language," Isla said of her experience. Getting up
onto the stage was difficult. Looking out into the crowd of familiar faces she was finally
able to display the efforts of a year of hard work. The words may not have been perfect,
she stumbled during part of the prayer, but their meaning was the same. Repeating the
lines spoken by her ancestors she was able to -follow in their footsteps, Isla said. She
will always consider herself both Catholic and Jewish but the trimitzvah brought a
spiritual connection with Judaism. Isla sees the experience as an opportunity to bring
her closer to the Jewish part of her family. At holiday gatherings like Passover, knowing
Hebrew has made her feel more included.
Both ceremonies incorporated a speech from their proud father and tears from all.
Their older sister Chloe who was not bat mitzvahed with her siblings came home from
college and was greatly surprised by their services. The idea of a bat mitzvah never
crossed her mind.
"We believe that g-d is on the inside, and our spirituality is more important then
going to church," Chloe said. She shied away from religious institutions but could
understand the spiritual and ancestral links that made her siblings coming-of-age
so important.
"I was proud of them," Chloe said.
Regardless of what religious standing each family member claims, a sense of
spirituality connects all of their unique beliefs. Pam is now an ordained minister for
the Alliance of Divine Love, a federally recognized non-denominational church.
Last November the entire family was present for the ordination ceremony, held at the
Seraphim Center. They watched as she sang a song on the guitar and received such
responsibilities as the ability to officiate weddings.
"Part of the reason I did it was for the spiritual training, a re-bat mitzvah," Pam said.
She was able to reconnect with the ideals of her past but in a modem way that embraces
all religions. She has not forgotten the ways of her ancestors but rather recycled their
beliefs into a new form that is attainable to those of all denominations.
From the outside, customary Jewish and Catholic beliefs may not be visible in the
Greenwald family but that is only because they lie deep within their hearts. The family
exemplifies modem day values but with a strong foundation in their past. They face the
world with an open mind that searches for new ways to make old traditions work. Each
member's divergent ideals are bridged by tradition. No matter how different they may
seem, the lesson of love taught by their ancestors is strong enough to link them to their
past, future, and most importantly to each other.



t h e s h p i e


By Michal Meyer


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Eyes~te fti News Blogging for Freedom
Female Iranian Blogger, graduate student, speaks out

The "Quartet" of major powers guiding the Israeli-Palestinian peace process will By Josh Fleet
meet Dec. 1 in Jordan with moderate Arab states. The Jordan Times quoted senior
Jordanian officials as saying late Tuesday that representatives of the United States, Eu- anam Dolatshahi, recognized as Iran's first female blogger, would seem a surprising
presence on the University of Florida campus. One might expect a bit of celebrity
ropean Union, United Nations and Russia would meet at a Jordanian Dead Sea resort r r r
with foreign ministers from Egypt, Jordan and Saudi Arabia. about her, or at least a bit of arrogance. Instead, Dolatshahi, a graduate student in UF's
with foreign ministers from Egypt, Jordan and Saudi Arabia. .
joint mass communication-women's studies program, blends into the UF scene. Clad
Israel plans to open an elephant park. The Tourism Ministry announced Wednes- in blue jeans and a short-sleeved shirt, Dolatshahi addressed a modest crowd in a Reitz
Israel plans to open an elephant park. The Tourism Ministry announced Wednes-
day that it plans to open a park by 2008 near Kibbutz Nahal Oz, where 30 female Union classroom on Oct. 23. Despite her accomplishments, Dolatshahi doesn't call
day that it plans to open a park by 2008 near Kibbutz Nahal Oz, where 30 female
herself as a martyr, hero or anything of the sort. Her jailed and missing friends maybe,
elephants from Asia will roam free or be harnessed for visitors to ride. It's based on a herself as a mart, hero or anything of the sort. Her jailed and missingfriends maybe,
s r v e n B but she wishes her own role in the culture wars of Iran not be romanticized. She's
similar venture in Ball.
young but talks of better times as
distant memories though they are
The Palestinian Authority's funding has dropped by 60 percent since Hamas tookstat memos the are
power in March, according to a new report. The International Monetary Fund released only recently passed.
the information Wednesday, adding that the P.A. government payroll has increased. Dolathahi's presentation
focused on Internet censorship.
An Israeli man won the International Mr. Gay Competition. Nathan Shaked won the freedom of speech and human
title over the weekend in Palm Springs, Calif. Shaked, who holds a law degree, also rights. She described the reforms
administration of Mohammad-
holds:the Mr. Gay Israel title. His winnings include a modeling contract and a Carib- administration of Mohammad
bean cruise. Khatami as a time when Iranians ''
were gaining small freedoms and
SHezbollah's leader said "serious negotiations" were under way for the return of two rights on their own terms. From
Israeli soldiers the group kidnapped in July. Sheik Hassan Nasrallah said Tuesday that 1997-2005, during whichKhatami
the U.N.-appointed negotiator was shuttling proposals between Hezbollah and Israeli was elected and re-elected, most I
officials. by the female and youth vote. the
media flourished in the Islamic state
Hezbollah is demanding a new government in Lebanon. The militant group threat- ofIran. Criticism of the goT enment
ended to force early elections with street protests and the resignation of its two Cabinet was available inthe regular print
ministers if its demands are not met. m6dia and a more progress\ e culture
seemed to grow and prosper as a -
result. With the election of_ Nlahmoud ." "-
Marijuana prices in Israel reportedly have skyrocketed since the Lebanon war. result. ith the election of lahi oud
Ahmadinejad in 2005, howe\ er. the
government began shutting do% n
such liberal papers and even jailing -
he ral s a e j Sanam Dolatshahi during a recent presentation at UF.
thejournalists who wrote for them.
Photo by Adina Thompson.
SFeaturing: From this censorship sprang the
logging movement, a way for activists to express their discontent with the government
SDr. David Cook anonymously.
professional Athletic Motivational Dolatshahi, who currently monitors blogs in both Farsi and English, described E-
Coach zines, group blogs, blog awards, literary contests, and online political groups as if the
blogging culture she's a part of is complicated and established. She lists names: Sina
-. :..: ..- ;.- Joe Torre Motallebi, Mojtaba Semieenajad, Arash Sigarchi, Kianoosh Sanjari. These are the
Manager of the New York Yankees victims of government oppression, jailed or on the run for voicing their opinions. These
are the names of her friends. She does not seem at ease inAmerica while others suffer
Phil Jackson in Iran for want of freedom. She's had several close calls herself, when the government
Head Coach of the LA Lakers tracked the links and names of people mentioned by fallen activists.
Dolatshahi spoke about all the opportunities the internet has afforded the people
of Iran and the world. Though, she describes the daily-updated filters that have been
used to try to suppress logging. This can be done because all websites have the same
internet provider: the Iranian government. Words like "sex" and even "woman" warrant
Sthe removal of a web page. And yet, she knows the internet and Iran's blogs can never
be entirely suppressed. This is the nature of the internet, she says. This is her hope.
Despite everything, a substantial woman's movement has arisen on the web touting
Sblogs, feminists' websites and political campaigns. This online community has started
For more information on our Organization and details celebrating International Women's Day and hosts online protests of government actions
about the speakers, check us out on-line at: and policies. Dolatshahi helped start the "1 Million Signatures Campaign," a model
that has already seen results in Morocco, to move for change in Iran's constitutional
nationalspeakersxchange.com laws regarding women. This is the hope for women of Iran.
Dolatshahi and other activists have also been thinking globally. In order to have an
international voice, they've started blogs in English. Blogs like "Stop Censoring Us"
Or contact us at: (http://stop.censoring.us) update the world on the deplorable actions of the restrictive
443.904.6025 government in Iran (for a comprehensive list of English blogs by Iranians visit
blogsbyiranians.com). This, it seems, is hope for the freedom and the world.
Fax 410.358.9579 "When I started writing, I was completely anonymous," Dolatshahi says. Though
now in America, she says, "I am still careful."
Requests aside, there is little this brave woman can do to lessen her own importance
3307 Taney Road, Baltimore, Maryland 21215 within this progressive movement in Iran. As she continues to voice her opinion, even
from the relative safety of American shores, supporters of certain inalienable rights may
info@nationalspeakersxchange.com still have hope. And the government of Iran continues to be subverted; its symbolic, if
not actual, power eroded one entry at a time.


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Page 5 The Shpiel
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By Giselle Mazur


O n the first day of class
Professor Gary Langford
gets red in the face.
It's not the students; it's the
trumpet.
There are two kinds of
trumpet players, Langford says,
those who get red in the face
and those who don't. He wails
out an improved jazz riff and '
muffled chuckles fill the air as
his cheeks turn the color of a .
ripe tomato.
After 36 years with
the University of Florida,
Langford, assistant director of
the School of Music, is retiring
at the end of this school year.
Langford has acquired
small-time fame during his
time here in Gainesville,
having arranged over 400
selections for the "Pride of the.
Sunshine" Gator Marching -", i
Band over the past 25 years, as .
well as heading the band from Mn
1985 to 1995. -e r
On September 9 the --ni. Hr.n %
marching band thanked him personally. During the University of Central Florida football
game they spelled out "Thanks Gary" while in a marching formation. They then presented him
with a $20,000 endowment.
Twenty five years ago, says Langford, leaning forward in his chair to tell the story, the
marching band spelled out "Langford" on Florida Field. A man in a Chicago bar watching
the game via satellite saw the formation. He contacted the bandleader and told him that his
name was also Gary Langford. UF's Langford sent him a photograph of the formation.
After the UCF game, the same Gary Langford (whose boss was at the game and told him
of the "Thanks Gary" message) contacted UF's Langford again, and now the two photos,
separated by 25 years, hang on his wall.
Despite his long-term involvement with the "Pride of the Sunshine," and the Concert Band
and Symphonic Orchestra, Langford's main passion has always been jazz music.
"There's nothing like standing in front of a big band that's really cooking, says Langford.
His love of jazz led him into heading the Jazz Band and into teaching jazz history, though
the passion began while he was still a student at Bucknell University in Pennsylvania.
"That's how I cut my teeth on it," Langford says fondly of his undergraduate years spent
listening to jazz records.
Until then, Langford raised in a-small town had only listened to classical music. Jazz
was exciting and new, and challenged everything he'd been taught about music. He began
collecting jazz records, and never stopped. His collection currently stands at 4,000.
After returning from Vietnam in 1967, Langford attended graduate school at the University
of North Texas. He joined the One.O'clock Lab Band, a well-known jazz ensemble of the
school's finest musicians.
These days, Langford is a regular at Leonardo's 706, where he plays trumpet with the
house band.
He also plays while teaching jazz history; performing different songs to showcase
the many forms ofjazz. His class sings to learn timing, and claps on the offbeat to learn
syncopation. Robert Johnson, Jelly Roll Morton and Louis Armstrong are class regulars.
"It is always fun to introduce something you love to others," Langford says.
His students return after spring break with stories about connecting with their grandparents
or parents through jazz.
Retirement will allow him to concentrate more on music, says Langford. Working for the
university takes up 75 percent of his time, leaving only a fraction for what he loves.
Langford may yet return as an adjunct professor to the Jazz Band next year.
"I'llmiss working with the students," he says. "That has always been the most
rewarding aspect."


. t h e s h


By Jesseca E. Lee

t happened just a few years ago. America stood aghast as a cultural phenom-
enon swept the nation, and reality television became the next big thing. Soon
thereafter every American household was infected with society's new craze:
alternate reality.
But today we are no longer satisfied with passively observing the raw, uncut,
unscripted "reality" programs that were but a short while ago all the rage. The
spectator's goggles have been traded in and the televisions have been turned off.
Now, instead of watching reality unfold, people are jumping directly into the
fray. Reality TV is being replaced by virtual reality.
Several up-start Web sites have jumped onto the bandwagon, all sharing the
same basic concept. You create an account and then customize an avatar, an
online icon that represents your identity within the online world. Advanced cus-
tomization often comes at a price, which is how the sites generate profit. Players
then find their place in virtual society. Most of these sites run on actual currency
which players add to their accounts using a credit card or Paypal account. In
some communities they can even open up shop, creating a virtual business that
can generate an actual profit. From there the sky is the limit. Someone can be
himself or create an entirely different persona, a virtual alter-ego. Players can live
out any fantasy and indulge in every dark desire that the constraints of normal
existence might forbid.
Online communities are not in themselves a new revelation. Games like the
Sims Online, Final Fantasy XI and most recently World of Warcraft, have been
drawing the attention of teenagers for some time now. These virtual platforms are
called massively multiplayer online role-playing games, or MMORPGS. Ganers
can immerse themselves obsessively in fantastical worlds where tact and strategy
yield power and influence. From the comfort of their bedrooms they can con-
quer entire countries. Warcraft, undoubtedly the most successful 6f these games,
boasts the existence of 70 million souls within its universe.
Popular culture has -
been quick to recog-
nize the power of VR.
MTV, which pio-
- neered reality TV with
its popular series "The
Real World," has al-
ready created its own
virtual community
based on the hit show
"Laguna Beach: the
Real OC." Now fans
of the show can have
a slice of the drama
they watch weekly
by creating their own
Laguna avatar. Other
popular sites include "Second Life," "Them," "The Palace" and "Active Worlds."
The allure of VR is obvious. It allows individuals to fulfill what they had only
dared to dream of, exploring the deepest, dustiest corners of their character to
discover entirely new facets of their psyche. Repressed desires are secretly and
safely released. An unsatisfying virtual reality can be exchanged instantly for a
new one; problems can beresolved with the click of a button. Now, refreshing
life is as easy as refreshing a web page.
But the charm of online life is a double-edged sword. Although a virtual
doppelganger can be entertaining and enchanting, it comes with the threat of con-
sumption. It is easy to sink into the calm waters of an alternative- a reality which
might well be more attractive than one's actual life. Society's discontents might
find themselves slipping deeper into VR than they anticipated. Enjoyment may
too easily transform into obsession.
Our fascination with alternative realities far removed from our own has led
us past the simple satisfaction of observing others. Now we can create our own
second existence in which we escape. Fantasy was replaced with fact, and now
fact is being replaced. Virtual reality is indeed the escapist indulgence of the
future. The only question now is how far we will let these seemingly innocuous
fantasies take us, and if we will be able to pull out of these fictitious microcosms
we have created.


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Page 6 The Shpiel

S d P i i As un-sexy as politics is, a fact for which the comb-over can vouch, there's
ex and o litics (CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1) something obviously erotic about power.
Makes you wonder if judges really do wear anything under those robes...
Seventh president Andrew Jackson followed suit by marrying his wife before she
was divorced from her husband.
Dr. Eric Morser, a lecturer in the History department at the University of Florida, ''-
said in Mrs. Jackson's defense, however, that "she thought she was divorced. The -
circumstances were a little bit cloudy," he said.
Crowds chanted, "Ma, Ma, where's my Pa?" for the election of 1884 Democratic--.
candidate Grover Cleveland, who fathered an illegitimate child to Maria Crofts Halpin.
Cleveland was stuck paying child support to his baby's momma because, although .
Halpin was involved with more than a few men at the time, Cleveland was the only N. -. .,
bachelor among them.
Franklin Roosevelt got it bad for his wife Eleanor's social secretary, Lucy Mercer,
with whom he had opens affairs, causing the first lady to opt for a divorce. -
Yes, a quick look at scandals throughout American history appears one-sided,
with high-ranking men putting their boots under the beds of servants and secretaries. aU
A closer examination, however, reveals that the women in politics took hold of their
power, too, and it worked for them like a heavy-handed pour of Manechewitz and
pinch of Spanish fly.

Ladies be pimps too, go on brush ya' shoulders off .
"There's a tradition of women throughout American history understanding that they
had limits placed on them because of gendered expectations," Morser said, "but some
were willing to at least challenge this in some way." .
In this case, women in politics posed their challenge with sex.
The first woman to be nominated for president, Victoria Woodall, although married,
was a supporter of free love a social movement in the early nineteenth century that
rejected marriage. The free love movement thought of marriage as a form of social
bondage, from which women needed to be liberated.
.Playing musical beds like her alley cat husband, First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt, a
first-wave feminist who championed human rights, allegedly had her own affairs to
remember. Speculation circles around extended camping trips to Lake Chazzy that
Eleanor and her bodyguard Earl Miller often took, alone.
Eleanor is also suspected to have been bisexual, having had an alleged lesbian affair
with White House correspondent Lorena Hickok, who was invited to live in the White
House in 1940.


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s ,. For more information and to REGISTER visit www.jnf.org/springbreak .- r
or contact us at asb@jnf.org or 212-879-9305 x245
,, ..ISRAIEL

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W W W


0 r 9






Page 7 The Shpiel


C corruption is not just for politicians. The rest of us also
can't seem to get our actions in line with what we
know is the right thing to do. We have minor victories, but
largely we fall short. We generally don't help the home-
less guy, we don't all vote and we don't care enough to do
anything about a known genocide. Life is busy, and let's
face it, we all make ourselves Numero Uno. Yet, despite
our altruistic shortcomings, we DO care and often we
feel guilty about being a low-impact member of soci-
ety. On a really good
day, we might even get into an argument about a WE COUNT ON OUR
worthy cause or go so far as to make a move to 'LEADERS' TO CLARIFY
better the situation. INSTEAD OF WREAK-
Don't let this get you down; it could be worse...
much worse. ING CONFUSION
You could be an elected public official. People AND CLOUDING :
who make it their business to stand behind issues, SENSITIVE ISSUES.
our leaders precipitate change through advocacy,
education and representation. Their success is measured by how effectively they
become symbols of what they stand for. Therefore, depending on the type, their
corruption can reach new heights of dismal failure. (There is a sad poetic justice
when a nationally-known anti-gay religious leader is accused of soliciting a male
prostitute). Yet with all the inconsistencies, contradictions and betrayal of mes-
sage and image, we're all human and shouldn't we all have the opportunity to be
forgiven?
As a human, yes. As a spokesperson, political leader and illuminator, no way. Too
much damage has been done, too much ugliness revealed.. .publicly. We count on our
'leaders' to clarify instead of wreaking confusion and clouding sensitive issues.


As a private individual, you can be easier on yourself, but the message is the
same. You can be, to some degree, a bad politician; you stand for things that often
look very different from your daily practice. How can you narrow the gap between
what you know and what you do? How do you upgrade your integrity?
You have the luxury of not having to resign from your post. You have the opportu-
nity to fail again and again without fail. The job performance rating that you have
to concern yourself with is your own. Your sense of integrity comes from your
becoming an inspiring leader, a person of principles, backed up by action while
just you look on.
You would be better served if you were to launch your own internal inquiries, iden-
tify what hasn't been working and what needs to change. When you do this, then you
should all run for office.

Do the Right Thing,
Rabbi Yonah


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I C


By Leo Stein
Truth may walk through the world unarmed." Bedouin proverb
The most mysterious people on earth are probably the Bedouin, an Arabic people who
have lived nomadically throughout the Middle Eastern and North African deserts for some
3,000 years. They have learned to live with very little and in their collective memory reside
millions of stories and customs that encompass a grace so foreign from other cultures. They
will tell a folk story of love and spirits for hours, acting out each character. They will tell every
guest that comes into the tent, even an enemy, they are required at least two cups of tea; or
explain that vengeance for a murder from another tribe would be waited out a whole generation
until the other tribe least suspects the act.
How can a people live for so long in the desert, and want to?
Meeting up with a Bedouin from a local market, he explained to me their rationale.
"The desert is our true lover, our poem, and we have no home besides her." This means that
many Bedouin, including many Israeli Bedouins, do not associate themselves with the laws
and regulations of the state they live in. The result is old traditions with plenty of burdens.
When it comes to garbage, many Bedouin neighborhoods put all of it in a huge 10-foot-tall pile
and bum it. This not only stinks the place up, but causes serious, excessive pollution. There
have also been reports of female circumcision that still go on once the girl reaches puberty, and
are performed by her own aunt.
But they also have a reputation for being highly secretive and relaxed. The first time I en-
countered them, 2 years ago in the Sinai Desert of Egypt, they let me sleep in their small tribal
housing beside the Red Sea. There I would see men sitting and watching the sea for hours,
never moving. When I talked to them, they spoke slowly and maintained a glare in their eyes
that illustrated either a secret or a charm. And that's how I always saw them: a mixture of both.
Although they have stopped moving from place to place, they still live with very little
materialism and know the desert as well as themselves. When they join the Israeli army, they
specialize in tracking the enemy's trails from miles and miles away. It's as if they model them-
selves after the desert, living in the open with silence and patience.
When I was invited to play with some of their musicians in the Sinai, one of them said,
"This song is about who we are as Bedouins." At that point, the player unveiled a melody that
sounded like asandstorm flying, and finding its way to where it began.


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Page 8 The Shpiel
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Office: (352) 378-1571
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Doin' the-Oprah (CONTINUED FROM. PAGE 1)
"It was a challenge," she told me.
I could hear the grunt of the breath and grind of the teeth it took for my mother to maintain
her sanity growing up.
Would she have been the same person without the delinquent family? She paused, recalling
fleeting memories relived, and re-examined.
"No," she said.
Why do people with the worst upbringings have the greatest successes? My mother is a
success. Though still $1.5 billion shy by some people's definition of success, she certainly
qualifies in my book. She began her business at age 20. With my brother knocking to come
out to the world, she still pulled 50 plus hours a week to support our family. Now, sitting on
a well-established boutique, she has more than just a hint of what it takes to be successful.
My mother admits that without her earlier troubles, she never would have had the fuel to
persevere.
Watch Oprah's show, and watch the battered and abused, and the sob stories. Oprah's
guests have either conquered their demons, or are still subject to them. Her show provides
catharsis, a social antidote against entrapments. She lets the nation know that she is tainted, her
guests are tainted, the cameraman is tainted, the audience is tainted. But what Oprah does is to
transform the darknesses of our collective souls and mold them into positive action.
How does she mould a sad, Southern black girl with pigtails into a one woman empire?
How did my mother go from poor, immigrant Cuban to success in retail? How did Rosa Parks
go from being a woman on a bus to being a celebrated figure of rights, race, and equality?
Oprah was not born Oprah. Every single person who ever had an impact trained every day.
of their lives for their mission. They may not have known it, but the routine seconds were the
very training grounds for their task. Those of us never touched by tragedy wonder, "Will we
fail to succeed because we did not have failed childhoods?" No, of course not. But those like
myself, who've got it good, may suffer from the Laziness of Luxury. Life is provided, nothing
is demanded, and you slide on by.
I say STOP! Stop sliding and learn to, examine life as if you lived it.
My life is not heroic. I never had the pains of a stinging belt. I have never waded through
the bug, mug, and swamp of the human condition. If we got it good, it is our duty to ensure
someone else gets it better.
From Oprah and my mother, I know that tragedy can breed triumph. Also triumph can
beget triumph. If a couple of poor little girls can make a big difference, so can you.
Never forget that.


t h e s h p i e 1


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W W W


0 r 9






Page-9 The Shpiel
S ..... ... ., .: .. ....
i :~- fr."


Pi






Little Rock. Arkansas
A drunken man cut off in traffic while dri%-
ing his SUV \\as arrested after allegedly shooting a
crossbow\ across the highway at a motorist.
Wayne Allen Dierks Jr., 26, \\as driving
while intoxicated and carrymg a suspended driver's
license. He posted bail after his arrest Sunday on
charges of committing a terrorist act, and posses-
sion of an instrument of crime the crossbow and
an extremely sharp toothpick in the glo\ e compart-
iment... extremely sharp.
Howe\ er, crossbow hunting season for
deer, bear and turkey began October 1, so I'm not
surprised that someone might be carrying a cross-
bo\\ in their vehicle this time of year. I have one
ct htnhp in m m tnmLkn for cnirLl rnr-acinns' hpnr.


II


3NbcPM't .EW




tpin' and Drunken Debauchery Versio on
By Carol Reyes .
to Gilgenbach and shot a crossbow that ricocheted ,
Oslo. Norway
off his back %\indon., which shattered. The % ictim
In a one-of-a- lknd jail break, a \enr drunk ;-
of the temble crossbo\\-attack then called 911 and r
oung man surprised pnson guards by breaking "
followed his attacker until the police arrived. The
ll te p e he into their northern Norw\ay jail. AP reports. ',
crossbo\%-attacker then shot again, this time after
The Norw egian, identified only as being
parkulng in an empty lot.
pan t e ae mo a in his 20s, arrived at the jail drunk, blowing kisses
After Dierks' arrest, officers found a cooler, t
and hearingg a Telemarksbunad, the traditional
containing 11 unopened beers, one opened can, andans d I
SNonrwegian woman's dress. Ok, so he didn't... I
a Richard Sim-
SR ro tJ ust love that word: Telemarksbunad! Say it three
mons %orkou:t times fast.
cassette. which ex-
cassee hch ex .One of the guards on duty that night, iden-
plains his ag es-. tified as Broen, said the district prison in the Arctic;-
sion. Then again,
ie ... ri.st town of Bodoe is rebuilding its outer fence, and
Dierks registered Ft
that the man broke through a section of temporary
0.12 on a blood-
tlnh'holi t'ct" th, encng.


... : .. ....`.03 .. q It The weak fence is of no help to real pris-
unning across Sorority Ron\. and such. legal threshold is e-
A ,P,' reot ......:... ..... m'. ....:. owners seeking a \wav out, however, since they are
AP reports that Dierks allegedly came up 0.08.
.. ., .. ... .. ., confined within the walls of the jail compound.
Concord. California behind his car, wIlch backed into him (ne'er leave The young drunkard was apparently trying
A man was injured by hs own car in a your car in reverse gear). The collision knocked to find his way home after a Friday night party.
SSeptember incident, him into traffic, but some of the bikers pulled him Hell of a party that must've been!
Richard Brooks. 50, whom authorities said into safety. "I don't think this gui kLnew where he
Shad been drinking, was injured after inexplicable Authorities said they had no idea "why was," Broen said on the radio.
becoming enraged at a group of bikers in traffic. Brooks decided to go after the bikers, who kept When police came to pick up the man to
and driving towards them in his car \while waving a calm and didn't assault him in retaliation. The take him home, lie told them he thought he was
Spool cue with his left arm. The bikers were dressed obvious explanation is that Brooks belongs to in Moerkved, a
in Harley-Dan idson attire, including leather and the Fashion Police, and w as upset at the sight of neighborhood f
skdll caps. leather and skulls so early in the day. about 10 kilome- -
After this incident, pool cues officially Brooks suffered cuts and scratches and ters east of the
make it onto the failed was taken to a nearby hospital. He could face prison.
"i -drunken-weapon list. charges of drunken dri ing and assault with a I say he
: The San Francisco deadly weapon. had a date with
Chronicle reports that Coincidentally, "Moby Dick's Lipstick Bjoern in Cell #
Brooks got out of his car. Lounge", a gay bar near the scene, reported a 5. and things got :I-
still in a rage. He walked lost pool cue the night before. trough. .P ...o. .coun..

Alexandria. Indianapolis 'speak' to me for two da% s." Steele could perform his magic which took about
Cat's fangs are fined for two gold crowns A month before the gold crowns were put, 15 minutes to complete.
: by his dentist owner. AP reports that Steele tranquihzed Sebastian to get "The cat gets a lot of attention now." said
Dentist David Steele fitted his 1-year-old his coat trimmed, and used the occasion to take Steele. Everyone is tickled to death when they see
Persian cat, Sebastian, for some bling on his two impression of his teeth. He then sent those impres- him."
bottomm canrnes, which grew out in an under bite sions to a company that prepares crowns for human Though the crowns are said to mainly
similar to a bulldog's. Steele said he was worried patients. strengthen Sebastian's teeth, they reportedly sug-
ithe unique canines would break offor become a Two weeks gest "a hip-hop star's guard-cat or a movie villain's
-'problem. ago, veterinar- pet." I think we all agree. however, that the real
However, the feline or... sexy beast, as I lan Larry Owen P-I-M-P here is Sebastian.
Like to call him, didn't seem too happy with his new tranquilized the Sebastian reportedly added some more
, look at first. cat at the Alex- blmg to his grill, bought a new Cadillac to cruse
"He's normally around me all the time," andria Animal around the hood, and now spends his time hollering
r Steele said. "After I put the crowns on, he didn't Hospital, so at the hounds.

w w w t h e s h p i e o r g






Page-lo The Shpiel
o;.Just Read It! "' '


Just Read It! "W ni ty f Sha
T- _. T -.. -_ __ T-' 1 J i*


By Jeremy Fields


Even in the age of the almighty Google, we must sometimes resort
to more primitive means in order to find the answers we seek. I'm
talking about books. You know, those little bundles of joy that we schlep
to class. And Judaism being the religion of the book, a book on Jewish
history is the topic of this week.
*A book on Jewish history, admittedly, sounds rather dry (not to
mention depressing.) Granted this depends on both the author and the
reader, but there's no denying that people would rather be entertained
than lectured to. I have come across a book able to balance the two; it is
the best of both worlds informative and hilarious. Before reading on,
ask yourself: Do funny things make you laugh?
Ifso, Jewtopia: The Chosen Book for the Chosen People is right up
y-ur alley! Written by two Jewish comedians, Bryan Fogel and Sam
Wolfson, Jewtopia provides a succinct survey of Jewish history and
culture all within roughly 200 pages. Fogel and Wolfson
cover everything from conspiracy theories to food, throwing
in a decent dose of both culture and history throughout. The
result is neither haughty nor degrading.
Fogel and Wolfson's witty approach to Judaism is a
refreshing means of educating. Much like Jon Stewart's
America (The Book), the authors of Jewtopia ingeniously
flesh out a concise account of where the Jews came from
and how our traditions acknowledge that history. Whether
through conversations with Jewish mothers, an investigation
of Jewish stereotypes, or various travel tips, Sam and Bryan
touch upon many of the foundations of modern Jewish
culture while simultaneously paying respect to the past.
And, of course, they exercise their right to Jewish comedy.
Take this story about the Jewish handicap for hardware, for
example:
A rabbi's students wanted to stump their teacher one
day, and so the boldest student came to him and asked,
'rabbi, there is a ladder, there are 613 rungs on this ladder
corresponding to the 613 commandments. There is someone
near the top and someone near the bottom (the one near the
top does almost all of the commandments, while the one
near4$he bottom does few of the commandments). Who in
the eyes of God is higher?'
The Rebbe was silent for a long time. Then he said,
sounding concerned, 'Are you saying there are Jews on a
ladder? My son, we had better go help them.'
This book can be enjoyed by all: Yid or goy, rebbe or
shmendrik, this book will make you laugh. And, at the very
least, it is a great way to brush up on the things you slept
through in Hebrew school.


By Derek Bernstein
I'm sick and tired of "Thug U."
What is "Thug U" you ask? Well, it's the term given to
the University of Miami because of its disgusting activities
on and off the field. By now almost everyone knows what
happened when the Florida International University's Golden "
Panthers met the Hurricanes in the Orange Bowl. A five minute
brawl ensued resulting in 13 Miami players getting suspended ,
for just one laughable game. One player, like a gladiator wield-
ing an ax, swung his helmet at an FIU player resulting in an
indefinite suspension. Which game did they receive this one
game suspension for? Duke. Let's just say Duke is not as good'
athletically as it is academically when it comes to football.
Okay, let's just say Duke sucks. FIU, who struggles just to get
scholarship athletes, kicked two players off their team.
When I was a budding young soul in high school I was aj 1
huge Hurricanes fan. That all ended when I became a Gator,
and after the brawl I couldn't be happier to be one. Watching it on TV made my stomach turn and
made me glad I never sent my application to Miami. While the campus is beautiful and South Beach
is amazing, they are missing something in their football program: class. I believe this lack of class
comes from the area of recruiting that while very plentiful in talent, lacks moral background. This
area I speak of is Miami-Dade County. Now, I'm not saying every football player in Miami-Dade is
a moral-less thug. But if you look back on the history of Miami football and see where their players
come from, it's no surprise.
What I gained from football in my years of play was hard work, determination and above all else:
respect. I don't think the program at Miami is working hard enough to push its players to become not
just better athletes, but better human beings. Out of the thousands of players who play college football
each year only a handful will be able to support themselves through their talents. What does that mean
for the rest of the players? Well, it means they have to make it on their character and intelligence.
While many players see a scholarship as a way to make millions in the future, they should see it as
an opportunity for higher education, especially at a private college like Miami where tuition costs
$27,000 a year,
What can be learned from all of this? Well, besides the fact that "Thug U" is classless, we can take
this opportunity to reflect on our own teaching methods. Whether you're a coach, an older brother or a
dad, this is a time to sit down with your young athlete. Teach him or her that what is seen on TV is not
the way real athletes act, and sports are about more than simply playing well; they are about respect
and responsibility.


S t h e s h p i e 1


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Page 11 The Slpiel
aaF


NOV


____- DECEM


Vote in the election
for our state repre-
sentatives! Go to the
polls between 7 a.m.
and 7 p.m. or send
your absentee ballot.
Don't forget!!
A balloon display will
be up in the Plaza of
the Americas support-
ing the campaign to
stop the genocide in
Darfur. At 4 p.m.,
speakers talk about
the crisis & what we
can do to stop it. A
candlelight vigil to
follow. 7


Can you handle a Tex.
Busted! That's the as Hold'em Blackjack
name of the film the Tournament? Comn-
Libertarian Activist pete at the Orange &
Network will be show- Brew
ing at Orange & Brew starting at 7:30 p.m.
at 7 p.m. to spread See Proof, by the
the word on citizen's oridaPlayers, at Phil
constitutional rights lips Center at 8 p.m.
t the Un t o lips Center at 8 p.m.
to the University of
o t U o Admission is free and
Florida students and
acultthe plot is priceless!
faculty.
Hear the Swamp
Sipp' on GI & Jam, benefitting Lyr-
SEWCEF A Shpiel spon0 ics for Life, starring
ord ar atyMoonshine Sister Hazel and
sored ehab from 10 Hootie & the Blow
(abo a.m. Open bar' fish in the O'Dom(

1p." t at 9p.m. 9


E n a N a


90 minutes of Yoga
with Adam Vadama,
7 p.m.


Tao of Judaism, 6 p.m
Caf6 Ivrit at Orange
and Brew, 6 p.m.
Israeli Dance, 7 p.m.
Scrapbooking,
7:30 p.m.
Knitting Circle,
8:30 p.m.


90 minutes of Yoga
with Adam Vadama,
7 p.m.


(IE a__ a m U U


Get ready to paint the
town at KOACH's Paint-
"ball Party. Meet at Hillel
at 1 p.m. to carpool
and be sure to contact
maxh@ufl.edu to RSVP
for just for more info.
I


The Gainesville
Community Band
is having a special
veteran's Day Concert
at the Phillips Center
at 7:30 p.m.


14
Cheer on the bas-
ketball team in the
O'Dome at 7 p.m.
as they battle North
Florida


15
Are you the next Ste-
ven Spielberg? Submit
your latest film to
be shown at the first
annual Florida Art
Film Festival at the
Acrosstown Repertory
Theatre. Today is the
official deadline for
the Dec. 9-10 show!
Visit acrosstown.org
for more info.
--.
-


16
Don't forget! Today is
the last day to register
for classes for the
spring semester!
Let your inner Rowdy
Reptile come out
for the basketball
team when they play
Jacksonville in the
O'Dome at 7 p.m.


Go thank a veteran,
for supporting their
country and for being
the cause of a day for


It's the Grand Open-
ing of the Haille Vil-
lage Farmer's Market,
open from 8:30 a.m.
tn nnn Ta~rtp thp


forget the story you know, this
version you don't want to show the
kids. Visit thehipp.org for info.
Where: The Hippodrome
When: Now through November 12
-Times: Tues-Fri at 8 p.m., Sat at 5
p.m. & 8:30 p.m., Sun at 2 p.m. &
7:30 p.m. Price: $25 for Adults,
W14 *L h $10 for Students
l D RL )W


I LOOK into me lives or ) young people in me it s the classic musical or young Deue wno
80s, disconnected from their parents, living winds up in the enchanted mansion of
as best they can with problems being thrown a Beast. Don't miss the "tale as old as
I their way. Visit acrosstown.org for info. I time." Visit gcplayhouse.org for info.
Where: Acrosstown Repertory I Where: The Vam York Theater
When: Now through When: Now through November 19,
November 18 I & November 30 to December 17
Times: Thurs-Sat at 8 p.m. I Times: Wed- .
r Price: $9 for Adults, $7 for Sat at 8p.m. '
Students & Sun at
I "TTHIS I OUR YOUTH"I 2 p.m.
_____- ___ _____ ____ _Price: $15 .. .


19: Take a 5k walk around Lake Alice to
benefit the Children's Miracle Network
20: Deadline to drop or add a fall course by
petition
21: Gator Basketball plays Prairie View at
7:30 p.m. in the O'Dome
22: Starting at 11 a.m. have some Thaaks-
giving Lunch in the Plaza of the
Americas
23: Thanksgiving! No School!
24: Premiere of A Tuna Christmas at the
Hippodrome
25: Premiere of The Christmas Carol at the
Hippodrome
S


t h e s h p i


.


m


v i


m


m


B


NO CLASS!. local organic produce
Get clean at the Ex- and breads & enjoy
treme Dance Team's the art and music.
car wash at the BP on
34th & Archer, 11:30 Watch the Gators beat
a.m. to 3:30 p.m. Soth Carolina in the
The UF School of wamp today for the last
STheater & Dance game n the SEC run-of
presents A Funny Dance the night away
Thing Happened' to live music by the
on the Way to the Prism Band at Swing
Forum, at Constans and Sway Dance
Theater at 8 p.m. Club, 8 to 11 p.m. I

10 11 l


Free Shabbat lunch,
12:30 p.m.
Shabbat dinner and
services, 7:30 p.m. Mincha afternoon
services and discus-
sion class, 2 p.m.



17 e; 18
Hear one of the best Gator football goes-up
writers of the "Gen- against Western Caro-
eration of the 80s," lina in the Swamp for
Orly Castel Bloom, at the last home game of
Hillel from 7-8 p.m. the season _s
Watch the Florida Our basketball cham-
Players get Bent! At pions are at it again,
7:30 p.m. the Con- playing Tennessee- i 3
stans Theater becomes Chattanooga in the
1934 Berlin and the O'Dome at 7 p.m.
setting for an unusual
situation. IL '

Party hard Friday night, then go to AE< I L
Afterdark at the AE4 house at 832 W.
Panhellenic Drive between 1 & 4 a.m. for -
live music & an all you can eat buffet for $5.
Proceeds benefit the Elizabeth Glaser
Unrlir,!^;^ ATT)Q;r.lw^.lrin l


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Page 1i The Shpiel
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MOONSHiNE--ROOFtOP CLUB
DOWNtOWN ABOVE REHAB

WEDNESDAY NiqHt, NOVEMBER 8tH
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SFEAtURiN4Q:
SHip VHOp COLLECtiVE, LiVE MUSiC
WitH FUNKAtRON AND FRiENDS
S"DJ., GiVEAWAYS, FREE T-SHiRtS



SA PRODUCtiON OF "~ rPi


SPONSORED BY '
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