THE SHPiEL
VOLU ME2 ISSUE E4
October 10, 2006 October 24, 2006 5766 ,2 1 PWn 5766 ,18 )f'11


It's a Succah,


Sucka!


Turning to Civil


War? An Editorial


By David Dresher

T he recent headlines coming out of the Palestinian territories have been grim. At least ten people have
been killed, including a local Hamas leader as he was leaving morning prayers. And now Palestinian
Authority president Mahmoud Abbas is issuing statements such as "there is no dialogue now" at a news
conferences.
Would it surprise you to hear that this violence and killing of Palestinians can't be attributed to the
usual suspect, Israel, but to the Palestinians themselves? Talks of civil war and recent waves of violence
have broken out between the two mainstream Palestinian political entities the ruling militant Islamic
group, Hamas, and the other more secular militant group, Fatah.
To be completely honest, there isn't much difference between the two groups other than their approach
to Palestinian-Israeli relations. Hamas, which is designated as a terrorist organization by the United
States and European Union and is guilty of suicide bombings and terror attacks, refuses to recognize the
existence of the state of Israel. In doing so, Hamas has made itself the subject of international sanctions
and criticism since it came to power eight months ago.
This is where Fatah comes into the picture. Having been ousted in the recent Palestinian elections after
decades of control, tensions between Fatah and Hamas were already running high. As far as Israel is con-
cerned, although Fatah recognizes Israel and accepts past agreements, it still continues to allow violence
to be orchestrated against Israel by its various terror gangs. One such gang, and perhaps the most notable,
is the Al-Aqsa martyrs brigades, a group that is guilty of various attacks and suicide bombings on Israeli
civilians.
Since the Hamas election and subsequent international aid sanctions, thousands of Palestinian govern-
ment workers have been left without pay for eight months. This situation has resulted in mass civil unrest
that has culminated with gun battles, assassinations, and various threats.
On Monday, a leaflet distributed by the al-Aqsa martyrs brigades called for the assassination of the
exiled Hamas leader Khaleed Mashaal.'Not surprisingly, the Hamas leader Musri al-Mashri dismissed
the leaflet and its authors as "agents of the Zionist occupation" and said they were a "hired gang that
claims to be a nationalist force, but is in fact helping the Zionist occupation achieve what it had failed to
achieve."
As the saying goes, even if Israel isn't responsible for attacking your people and making threats,


(CONTINUED ON PAGE 9)


By Josh Kaller


H oly Challah, Did you see that
Succah?
And you thought you were finished
with God. Ha, were you wrong. This
season presents a cornucopia of knick-
knack patty-whacks give the Lord a
bone moments to set your soul a-sailing. If you didn't get enough,
you better believe there's more celebrating for Jews on the way.
And the time is called Succot. I know, you might be thinking
I'm sick of holidays, celebrations, and especially a succah.
But let me tell you, there is sure to be one hut that tickles your
blessing bone.
You might be asking yourself what the heck is a succah
and why is it important? Since we're friends I'll drop some
knowledge on you.
Succot is the holiday that directly follows Yom Kippur. In some
degree, it is a way to take us out of the hum-drum deliriums of
soul searching and into the festivities of little-shack making. It was
instituted to help remind us of the protection that the Lord gave us
during our exodus from Egypt. What type of protection you ask?
Oh, only your average cloud of protection.
Ok, great! Well, we lost the cloud. However, we still celebrate
the day.
So what do we do? At this time, Jews around the-world have
made and are living in little shacks, celebrating the new season.
These three- or four-walled domiciles come in many colors,
dimensions, and decorations. You won't believe the effort some
people go to.
Xzibit had recently taken time off from his MTV show, "Pimp
my Ride," and headed straight to Jerusalem to help out some
impoverished Jews. With a knapsack filled with pagers, stereos,
flat screens, and water beds, Xzibit and the SoCal crew sure
helped out the Macher family this holiday season. Equipped with
an etrogjuicer, a lulav lava lamp, and an automatic Oi vey Vubble
Machine, they are sure to be the light of the holiday this season.
"Pimp My Succah" is to premier 8pm Eastern time on theshpiel.
org* (not really).
But if you think Xzibit can hook up a succah, you should see
what other Jews do around the world. The laws regarding a succah
are interesting, so interesting I won't go into the details. Instead,
take a lesson from the sand saint and his trusty camel. Or kick back
with a Samaritan Jew as the Chiquita banana lady lays sprawled on
the roof of his succah.
People love to decorate little areas. But what does it come down
to? Partly, about making your home life different. We just came
from a holiday that gave us the time to enter into the holiest portions
of our personality and ask ourselves some questions. Hopefully,
we walked out of ourselves as new individuals. Now, we are asked
to change our physical settings: Sleep in a succah, eat in a succah,
study in a succah.
It's a reminder to return to humility and simplicity. Sure, some
people do it up in a big way. But your average succah is a modest
structure built by humbled souls with a desire for simplicity. Just us,
some walls, some roof, and a really good sight to the heavens.
If you see a succah on a car, near a bar, on beach, near a leach
- I say stop on by. And let yourself be reminded to keep it honest.
From the play pen, this is your host. Pop your colla' because
you've officially been pimped.





Page 2 The Shpiel
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The SHPiEL




The Only Student-Run Jewish Campus Newspaper
in the Country
Right Here at The University of Florida
Volume 2 Issue 4





Table of Contents I
(the Innards)



Sophomore Slump?
Time to listen to the younger folk.


Eyes on the News:
Plus, Syria's U.S. Ambassador was speaking.


Not All Those Who Wander are Lost:
The Wandering Jew on more local adventures.


The Dark Side of the Swamp:
The Shpiel's exclusive interview with Alberta.


Trash Talk:
The Rabbi says it's time to clean up.


Ad Page:
L@@k!


Leo at Large & The Gainesville Daily Statement:
What's really happening in Israel, and whodunit.


Arts and Entertainment:
Local band review & taking back the Tube.


Calendar:
Get out sometime; there's more to life than the NFL.


Arts and Entertainment:
The Sports Report, Soul Patrol & Posin' with Priel.


The SHPiEL Players


Captain Steward


First Mate Executive Advisor


Skipper


Dictator Executive News Editor/
Production Manager

Chancellor Executive Managing Editor

President Executive Business Director


Ruling Executive Finance Director


Wizard of Executive Distribution


The Eminent Ministers of Public Relations




Chief Executive Photographer


President Executive Israeli Correspondent

Executive Art Design/Layout Specialists


Royal Master of the Web


Executive Advertising Board


Rabbi Yonah Schiller
rabbiyonah@theshpiel.org

Michal Meyer
michalr@theshpiel.org


Josh Kaller
pundiit@ufl.edu


Kimberly Gouz
kimgouz@theshpiel.org

Hilary D'Angelo.

Laura Jones
ljo85@theshpiel.org

Zalman Lubotsky
zoro@theshpiel.org

Isaac Sapoznik
slimi385@ufl.edu

Rachel Rodrigues
smarty22@ufl.edu
Alison Meyer
alimich@ufl.edu

Jennifer Harnish
chippewa@theshpiel.org

Leo Stein

Tracy Flack
Allison Schiller

Jeremy Fields
froma@ufl.edu

Kelly Lammers
Antoine Rohlehr


Special thanks to Hillel at the University of Florida


. t h e s h p i e 1


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Page 3 The Shpiel


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M y first familiar face encounter on moving to Gainesville was with someone I had never met. I
saw him across a crowded grocery aisle; our eyes both registered recognition. My mind scanned
through its internal database of faces until it hit a match. Creepy Facebook stalker guy. The staple
in every modern college student's life; the guy you befriend out of pity, only to have him memorize
your profile, message you constantly, and poke you until you respond. Flash of recognition over, I
followed the appropriate protocol: lower gaze, deny, and walk away. It takes finesse to achieve this
pointedly and wordlessly in one swift motion. Welcome to Gainesville. I only have month's worth of
observations
and
encounters; I
imagine after
a year the
revelations
will really" sh
pile up.
"Everyone
knows ain u.t.
Gainesville
is just UF
disguised
as a city,"
says Lauren
Millcarek.
When she -.,. .
arrived at tUF sco- se
last fall, it "It e i
was not the
college town atmosphere that surprised the current sophomore. "We're a 9:30 p.m. movie city," she
says. Everything shuts down early on weeknights, our cultural hub is concentrated in a pathetic corner
we call downtown, and the university buildings weave in and out of fast food joints eager to cash in
on late-night study habits. While the setting wasn't shocking, the nuances of college life didn't always
meet expectations. "I thought of UF as a party school," Lauren says, "But going to parties can be more
work than they're worth." Spending hours getting dressed only to have your makeup melt by the time
the Later Gator comes puts a damper on any evening.
Kelly Chung expected to go out a lot her first semester, but the consequences proved unexpected.
Coming from a "party high school," she carried on the tradition, one that had never affected her
schoolwork before. "It ended up hurting me. I considered it a warning."
And as for meeting people? No one interacts directly. They text message instead, while tell tale
white cords hang from ears. Upperclassmen friends of mine agree. "I've done the cell phone trick," says
Junior Michel Bergeron. The trick? Whipping out your Razr and engaging in an imaginary conversation
the perfect way to avoid making eye contact and small talk. It's failsafe unless the sound of a real call
exposes your ruse. "It's hard," says Lauren, "college is supposed to be where you find your niche."
We're told to start networking from the moment we get here get
eam! involved, meet people who share our interests. This, they say, connects
ow Fat to success. Lauren has already passed through four majors in three
semesters, making her way from an ambitious premed/theatre major to
f the tasty film studies, and resting for the moment on telecommunications. "I went
l vfe 'lr h to preview looking to be a director. I met people, I talked to the advisors;
it was a year before someone told me there was a whole major devoted to
film studies." When so many people are so busy searching for what they
ake ciO want to do, they can't exactly help with your search.
-I(F '2g Going Greek is an option, though some equate sororities/fraternities
to paying for friends. I considered rushing before realizing that I had
managed, in the hubbub of college preparations, to leave behind a closet
full of sundresses and my complete set of Vera Bradley luggage (how
could I be so unprepared?). And while a hair-straightener can be a Jewish
M. girl's best friend, no set of tourmaline encrusted ceramic plates are any
So Good!!! match for walking in Florida humidity. Aside from transferring, there
isn't much I can do to maintain that look of sorority perfection while
prancing around a football field in heels, smiling my cares away.
College has surprised me, even taught me a few things. After talking
ites coni to sophomores, I know I will figure things out in time. "You learn how to
talk to people," says Kelly, "it gets easier." For Lauren, "Freshman year
was the best time of my life, and I expected that."


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Page 4 The Shpiel



Eyes __t News Syria's Ambassador to the U.S.
Seeking the Golan and Patience for Democracy

Gunmen from Mahmoud Abbas' Fatah faction threatened to assassinate leaders of
the rival Hamas. The Al-Aksa Brigade issued a statement Tuesday blaming Hamas By Daniel Sanmiguel
for a flare-up in factional fighting in the Gaza Strip and vowed to execute the radical
Islamic group's leader abroad, Khaled Meshaal. The Syrian ambassador to the United States attributed the tensions between Israel and
J Syria to the Israeli occupation of the Golan region, in a speech to a crowd of about
An Israeli Cabinet minister called for Hezbollah's leader to be assassinated. "He's 200 people at the University of Florida's Emerson Alumni Hall on Oct. 2.
bad for the Jews, he's bad for the Arabs, he's bad for the Christians," Infrastructure Imad Moustapha, the Syrian ambassador, said the more than 128,000 Syrians that
Minister Benjamin Ben-Eliezer said Saturday. "We should wait for the right opportu- live in the Israeli-occupied territory, obtained during the 1967 Six-Day War, face terrible
nity and not leave him alive," he told Army Radio. But Ben-Eliezer, a former defense living conditions and daily humiliation.
minister, said Israel should hold off on any assassination attempt until it can be sure of "[Regaining the Golan region] is a Syrian national priority," he said, noting that
not causing a large number of innocent casualties. Syria maintains a "Land for Peace" platform -- .. -'r
in which it will not.accept a treaty where- ." -
An Israeli Cabinet minister said another war with Hezbollah could be imminent. Israel does not give back the Golan.
Benjamin Ben-Eliezer, Israel's national infrastructure minister and former defense Moustapha said the countries' differing
minister, said Oct. 3 that the deployment of U.N. peacekeepers and the Lebanese army ideologies have prevented a peace treaty
in former Hezbollah strongholds was no guarantee that the current quiet would hold. from coming to fruition. He referred to
"I predict another war with Hezbollah within months," Ben-Eliezer told Israel Radio. Israel's policy of "Peace for Peace," and
said "[Israel's] government is not absolutely
Ehud Olmert said his first peace summit with Mahmoud Abbas could be imminent, cooperative when it comes to peace talks."
The Israeli prime minister told Israel Radio on Thursday that he hoped to hold face-to- While neither side seems willing to
face talks with the Palestinian Authority president within the next few days. compromise, Moustapha is optimistic that
peace is inevitable.
Condoleezza Rice said she hopes Ehud Olmert and Mahmoud Abbas will meet soon. "There is no other alternative," he said,
The U.S. secretary of state made her comments regarding a summit between the Is- adding later, "At one historic point Israel will
raeli prime minister and the Palestinian Authority president Wednesday after meeting sign a peace treaty with us."
Abbas in the West Bank. During his talk, entitled "Syria:
Challenges and Crisis," Moustapha also
Israel named the former chairman of the Jewish Agency for Israel, Sallai Meridor, as touched on the Israeli-Palestinian crisis and
its next ambassador to the United States. the war in Iraq. In each instance, he criticized
the United States for its role, citing that the
U.S. has not been actively working to broker Moustapha in a recent visit to the U.S.
peace between the Israelis and Palestinians and
that the invasion of Iraq was ill-advised.
"We in Syria believed that invading Iraq would open a Pandora's Box of frozen
evils," Moustapha said.
F eaturing" He said Syria was against the invasion as a matter of principle, and that the country
.r 1~i opposes foreign occupations of any kind.
'Dr. Da\id Cook Moustapha indicated that the United States has not only lost favor in Syria but with
Professional Athletic Motivational much of the Middle East. He denounced the U.S.' recent support and supplying of
'Coach weapons to Israel during the Israel-Hezbollah crisis and likened the occupation of Iraq
to the Nazi occupation of Europe during World War II.
Joe Torre Moustapha was quick to point out, however, that while diplomatic relations with
SManager of the New York Yankees the U.S. are at a low point, this has not always been the case. He stated that in previous
years, most of the people of the Middle East looked to the United States for guidance,
Phil Jackson seeing it as a benign power. He also informed the audience that Syria supported and
Head Coach of the LA Lakers fought on the side of the United States in the Second Gulf War and offered intelligence
related to Al Queda after the terror attacks of 9/11.
S/ The ambassador
Iended his talk with
a discussion of LET'S TALK ABOUT IT!
democracy. He saidLITERATURE
Syria and much of the JEWISH LITERATURE
Middle East desire
For more infonnation on our Organization and details democracy, and that Identity and Imagination
about the speakers, check us out on-line at: Syria is making strides A Mind of Her Own: Fathers and Daughters in a Changing World
towards realizing this
goal. He stressed,
nationalspeakersxchange.com however, that the
Middle East must Scholar-led book discussion will take place in the
Or contact us at: come to terms with Hillel Library. Free and open to the public.
443.904.6025 democracy at its own
pace, recognizing that OCTOBER 22 2:00 4:00 p.m.
Fax 410.358.9579 Syria still has a ways American Pastoral by Philip Roth
to go. Call 273-0369 or go to www.uflib.ufl.edu for more information.
"Syria is not
3307 Taney Road, Baltinore, Maryland 21215 Sw\itzerland." he Co-sponsored by Hillel atthe Universityof Florida UNIVERSITY of
said. and the University of Florida Center for Jewish Studies FLORIDA
infol)nationalspeakersxchange.com Let's Talk About Itl has been made possible through a George A. Smathers
grant from Nextbook and the American Library Assoc. Libraries


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Page 5 The Shpiel
* '.- .. --.


The 3Jew

American Mishaps Version
By Carol Reyes


Springfield, Missouri
The word is in: it's officially "on"
(whatever that means) between guide dogs
and macaque monkeys, for the service-ani-
mal throne.
Debby Rose, a Springfield woman
who has been saving stray monkeys for
over 10 years, wants her pet monkey to be
allowed into local restaurants to dine with
her (in a high chair. I would hope) as a ser-
vice animal. AP reported that Richard, her
bonnet macaque monkey, provides Rose
with emotional support to overcome her
anxiety disorder, allowing her to go out
comfortably in public places.
Some experts think that if Rose
hadn't spent the last 10 years of her life


Los Angeles, California
Abuse in the name of "art" made
the headlines after an August LA exhibi-
tion, w-hen photographer Jill Greenberg was
accused of child abuse by critics. The ex-
hibition, reported in American Photo, fea-
tured 27 2- and 3-year-old-kids crying, after
Greenberg had offered each one a lollipop
and then cruelly snatched it away.
The photographer admitted the pic-
tures might be a little bit
upsetting', but denied all
accusations. Greenberg'
Sis known as one of the
i- ** country's most success-
: ful commercial photogra-
S phers, as %well as an expert


surrounded b\ monkeys, she would d not
have a social anxiety disorder in the first
place. OK. so that's just me...
Rose said that the federal Ameri-
cans \vith Disabilities Act should allow her
monkey to enter food establishments. At
first, the local health department agreed,
but complaints from
customers at a buf-
fet-style restaurant
changed their opin-
ion.
Reportedly,
the smell of Cheddar
cheese and monkeey
poop don't mix well. ,.


at portraits of monkeys and apes. In the art
world, children are equivalent to monkeys in
diapers, so the next logicalstep was kids.
"Getting kids to cry is not the nicest
thing, but I'm not causing anyone'perma-
nent psychological damage." said Green-
berg. "The images inmnediately'get under
your skin."
Crocodile tears rolling down a 3-.
year-old's cheeks are quite the heartbreaker,
but the artist prefers calling them political
statements.
"Sometimes I just feel like cry-
ing about the way things are going." says
Greenberg.
Well boo hoo! No one took YOUR
lollipop.


Springfield, Massachusetts
One Hindu family sued another in
July over an arranged marriage gone \rTong.
After the bride-to-be presented herself to the
groom's family for the first time, and was
judged too ugly, action was taken and being
ugly became a crime.
Vijai V. Pandey and his wife claimed
they were "extremely shocked to find... she
was ugly... with protruded bad teeth, and
couldn't speak English to hold a conversa-
tion." The woman's complexion was also cited
as a reason for the broken engagement.
Some people would think that an ar-
ranged marriage would take care of the dating


process for homely women, and maybe make
it easier for them to find a partner, but for
some not even that will do the trick.
A spokesman for an American Hindu
organization tried to downplay skepticism over
arranged marriages, telling the Springfield
Republican newspaper that he had seen "very
handsome men who are happy with somewhat
homely women."
Pandey's civil complaint against Lallan
and his wife Kanti Giri of Boyds, Md.. seeks
$200,000 in damages. The charges against
them are fraud, conspiracy, and violation of
civil rights, among other claims resulting in
emotional distress. The Pandeys also spent


money on long-distance calls and airfare.
What is emotionally distressing is that
neither of these two families have ever heard
of an 'E-mail attachment'! This nifty little
thingamajig, where you can send pictures all
over the world, requires
no English! It makes me
question what is REAL- i
LY going on in Spring-
field. 1 say it should be
looked into.
As to the law- .
suit, I would simply call
it a case of bad genes. .



t h e s h p i e 1


- 111 ----


Columbia, Missouri
The Missourian reported that Colum-
bia resident Adam Ballard wants to exceed the
Army's body-fat requirement, thus forcing his
discharge and stopping his deployment to the
Middle East war zone.
Ballard, 22, now in his second year in
the Army, and an "administration specialist,' re-
cently came to grips with the true danger of his
situation: He could be sent to Iraq and required
to dri\ e a truck. (How dare they put him in such
a life-threatening situation?! They should have
given him the fim stuff, like shooting bazoo-
kas!)
In an attempt to stop his plans, the Army
has ordered Ballard to improve his nutrition and
step up his exercises.,The armed forces must be
quite desperate for Bal!ard's amazing truck-driv-
ing skills.
Ballard said he hadi o qualms because
recruiters had originally assured him a desk job.
When told that he might not be able to sit down
comfortably during the day, and take a nap, and
a coffee break, he panicked. That's 'my theory.
Ballard did not finish his college career.
and as the son of a general in the Armed Forces,
was pushed into joining the Army. His ploy to
get out is simple:
"Some days, I'll totally pig out on things
like pasta, or maybe I'll go to a restaurant," he
said. "I basically eat what I can to get full and
then just go to sleep."
I, for one, am glad that he might get out.
After that last statement, he sounds more like my
sophomore-year roommate than an Army man
worthy of a big truck.


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Page 6 The Shpiel


The Dark Side of the Swamp: A Personal Look at the Life of Alberta Gator


Story & Cartoon by Drew Schwartz

The green polyester smile sewn across her face makes it hard for her to express her true emo-
tions. Even a life that revolves around bringing cheer can be masked by sorrows. For Alberta
Gator, the line dividing her career and personal life seems to blur. Gainesville forgets about the
gator in the crowd, the gator that stands behind Albert.
Growing up in Merchants Millpond of North Carolina, Alberta fantasized of fame and fortune
beyond her small town. Searching for more, Alberta dared to venture south into the famous
swamp heard of in folk songs and legendary tales the city of alligators' dreams, the Univer-
sity of Florida.
There, a handsome, young gator named Albert whom she met and wed derailed her career
goals.
Sitting across from me is a face I have seen a million times, but now find unrecognizable. The
signature red rouge that normally paints her lips is missing. Before me is a softer face, whose
tired eyes show more depth than that transmitted by her usual blissful cheers.
"He took a chomp out of my heart the first time I saw him doing the wave at a football game. I
have never been the same since," Alberta said, looking down at her hands, trembling under such
candid honesty.
Albert E. Gator was.a simple towel boy, wiping sweat from bleachers and peddling Gatorade,
but with the help of Alberta he would climb to the top of the mascot world.
"Albert has got the looks, but when it comes to brains I have always been the mind behind the
man...or gator," Alberta said, as she proudly described the dedication that fostered his career.
She hand sewed his costumes, choreographed his dance routines, and even admits to assisting
poachers in wiping out Albert's competition (they made lovely pocketbooks). She is not embar-
rassed by the incidents she describes; they were acts of love.
Alberta has grown accustomed to playing second string. Taking the job offers Albert passes on
or accompanying him as a sidekick still provides some of the.exposure she desires. The tension 0
in their relationship may be the result of unmet career aspirations, but the blame spreads to infect
























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many personal issues.
Her orange bow flies astray and tears spot her face, but she is still smil-
ing. Her features are carved in stone, unchangeable despite the emotions that
linger beneath. She describes her husband as having an addictive personality.
Addicted to the spotlight, the attention of fans, orange and blue jumpsuits,
and to even more serious toxins, that help him fight off the highs and lows of
his job.
"He's been known to throw back one to many glasses of Manishewitz on
a Friday night and get a little crazy. One night he got arrested for kicking a
police officer's horse on University, he mistook him for a Vanderbilt Com-
modore; luckily we were able to keep it out of the papers," Alberta said. Los-
ing game nights turn ugly when the alligator we all love releases his angst by
hunting tigers, striking bulldogs, skinning wildcats, or dueling with knights.
"It is all because he just loves the gators so much," Alberta said, with the
unspoken words hanging between us perhaps he loves the gators more than
he loves her. His priorities align with his obligations to the orange and blue,
so family life is often put on hold. Alberta yearns for children, being used to
large gator families.
"Mating season falls in spring with the basketball, gymnastics and soccer
seasons; it is nearly impossible to find any time alone," Alberta said. Despite
her agitation about Albert's busy schedule, Alberta keeps pushing him to
achieve more.
"One day I hope to see him working with a professional team. I mean, real-
ly, if someone can name a team the Magic, then the Orlando Alberts does not
seem so impossible," Alberta said. Her own future, however, is not so clear.
"I know I could do wonderful things in Hollywood or New York; I have
a face for television and a knack for comedy that would fit perfectly in a
sitcom. It's a level I do not think Albert is capable of, and with me spend-
ing so much time on his career I just don't think I'll ever get my chance,"
Alberta said.
She sighs, telling me of the endless hours she must put in for Albert. She
says her world is no longer her own and that she is merely a slave to his
success. Rattling her perfectly manicured tangerine nails against the table ,
she gawks at her watch. I ask what important business she must conduct
today. "Oh nothing," Alberta replies, "I'm just worried the limo is going to
be late to pick me up for my massage, you know the parking on campus is
really horrible."
**When asked to comment on the story above, Albert E. Gator refused to
confirm or deny any details without the presence of his lawyer.


t h e s h p i e 1


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Page 7 The Shpiel



oi-r "s u_ 4 '.

-_ ... .- tl...-

4 o







The Goddess of entertainment has brought another
Sunassumning public figure to his knees. Professoi H3all's
teaching career is o\ er, or at least. significantly i altered, and e
are left entertained.

It is not clear ho\\ much his dismissal from the lecture hall had
to do w ith footage of his "performance' being posted all o\ er
the web. From BoingBoing to YouTube, the professor's lecture soon became a public
spectacle from a detached and amused vantage.

Now, I am always up for a good laugh, and I have been known to squeeze the last juices _
from any opportunity for humor. But with the Hall fiasco and subsequent third world-style F
trial conducted over the internet, I felt a humble pang for the professor.

You see, we have a little thing in Judaism called Lashon Hara (Lit. Bad Language).


Basically, you can't talk
Even if it is true. Talking
gives him or her a Shem Ra
is the opposite of what we
Ideally, we are aiming to lift
props to people who may
we do this, we are giving
name, and we are teaching
the ability to find the good in
prohibition of speaking Lashon
to ourselves as well...for


'One of the ways we
stay human is by
identifying with other
humans, not letting
the human race
become an object of
amusement.


trash about someone.
bad about someone
(Lit. Bad Name). This'
are really here to do.
each other up, to give
most need them. When
that person a good-
ourselves that we have
others. Interestingly, the
Hara is applicable
example, "I am such an


idiot," "I suck at that," "I am stupid." (Not good things to say.)


The big exception that would allow someone to speak Lashon Hara about another person
is mentioned in terms of one who has done questionable business with another. In that
transaction, if he has found that other person to be unfair, a cheat or an unreliable associate
and has, therefore, suffered a monetary loss, he can advise a third party not to engage
that person in a business dealing. The purpose, then, is to protect the third person from a
potential loss.

,One could argue that exposing Professor Hall, or any other public figure, is justified in
bringing to light dubious character traits that may deter you from investing in that person
in one way or another. If that is true, fine. My only hesitation would be to clarify that there
Sis a separation between the entertainment value and the preemptive attempt to avoid a
personal loss.

One of the ways we stay human is by identifying with other humans, not letting the human
race become an object of amusement. Compassion can be as simple as asking yourself,
"Am I getting any benefit from this besides getting a laugh?" This is challenging because
who doesn't like a good laugh?

It is interesting to note that the sympathetic comments on the video blogs highlighting
Professor Hall were overwhelmingly from former students, people with whom he a had
a relationship. In short, what feeds our empathy is our sense of investment. The more
connected we feel on a human level, the more we can internalize and "feel" for someone
else. Clearly the challenge to remembering this kind of humanity is made greater when
we talk about public strangers who make cameos on video blog sites.

Good luck!

Rabbi Yonah
ravyonah@ufhillel.org


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Page 8 The Shpiel


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Page 9 The Shpiel*
OO~aG^:^0-.-;.'^ ':uC^.5 ^-e^^^'^^


My Life as A Soap
Stories by Leo Stein
(Our Israeli Correspondent; i.e. UF student studying abroad in Israel for the year)

W hat's funnier than the transliteration of American products ("Buurghere Keeng")
in Hebrew? Israeli soap opera. I came home to find my entire family watching this
joke, only to find its appeal myself.
Israeli soaps, unlike American soaps, just aren't realistic;
This is what happens.
An angry father doesn't allow his daughter to be with her boyfriend, the bad-acting Ken doll.
Upset about the decision, boyfriend sits in a room and fantasizes about another girl
giving him advice on what he should do. A sexy fairy girl appears and tries convincing
boyfriend to stand up for himself.
During a biblical lesson on how King David stood up for himself, fairy girl breaks into
an intense lip-synched song. She gives a little striptease, and boyfriend joins in the song
and dances with her.
Yes, boyfriend knows that just like King David, he too must be courageous if he-wishes
to tango with his Goliath. "Let's go, let's show him what we're made of."
Then girlfriend's father enters the room mid-song, with boyfriend in mid-booty shaking.
He apologizes and explains the lesson fairy girl taught him, while admitting he loves his
girlfriend. The father sighs, and miraculously accepts the relationship.
Next shot: girlfriend and friends impatiently wait at the train station for boyfriend to
arrive, so they can go to the army together.
Waiting and waiting. What to do. He's given up on her. No, wait, boyfriend arrives at the
last minute with the good news. And a make-out session ensues. The friends start clapping.
Then, the entire cast of the show (about 30), walk into the train statiori one by one and start
clapping, too. After three minutes of saliva (no lie), the station is packed.
In Israeli soap operas, it's not just a fantasy life acted out by models who look like
actors. It's about a character saying her lines three times "Ori, shut your face and
kiss me" while a woman soldier sings a Smirnoff bottle into a microphone to provide
the harmony.
Yeah, I can see that happening in real life.


M money is a sexy devil. Go to a Gainesville shop that sells hookah pipes, and you'll
easily spend $60 plus on something you think is high quality. Hand-made with
Yemeni metal. Right. Then go to a real Tel Aviv market, and you'll find it for less than $10.
Most things, especially if they're originally Middle Eastern, are cheaper here. The only true
exception is gas and technology, both because they come from...er...distant neighbors. My
grocery bill never goes over $20 for my bi-weekly needs. It goes 4.3 shekels to a dollar; .
but whether or not you comprehend the price conversions, many Americans have trouble
mastering the skills of traditional shopping: bargaining.
Many, many markets offer the cheapest goods, but only if you know how to argue well.
Too many foreigners come to the markets their first time and get blindly ripped off by these
professional arguers. And they will enjoy ripping you off, because not bargaining is almost
a symbol of disrespect. So, do you know how to bargain?
Here's a quick tutorial. To'begin with, take it slow. Don't just stick adamantly to your
lower price and hope he'll accept. It's a dancing lesson: move together -you'll lead, and
dip, when you're both ready.
"Hundred shekels. It's great quality."
Give him a look of are you joking with me.
"I can sell this in Jerusalem for twice as much."
Call his bluff on the famous 'could have' line. "Then sell it in Jerusalem. I don't think
I'm interested anyway."
"Alright, 90 shekels."
Now don't settle for the first few offers. Don't raise your voice, but don't let him conquer
the conversation. Don't let him speak more than you; stop the American politeness and
learn to cut him off on occasion. Always look into his eyes when you speak and show no
fear. Use lines like, "Do I look like a tourist to you?" When he cuts the price to 70 shekels,
start walking away. He'll think you're bluffing, so do this boldly.
He'll stop you and say, "Alright, 60 shekels. But only because my family needs to
eat tonight."
He's weakened. Now make your offer. "No, 50."
"I just can't. Listen, maybe we can do 55. My family eats too much as it is."
"Fifty or I walk." Start making the leaving gestures until he says,
"Alright, alright! (Much gesturing and rolling of eyes). Maybe we can do 50. Hey, do
you have a girlfriend? My cousin's husband's sister's daughter is a lovely girl ..."
And that is Middle Eastern shopping. Makes Gainesville shopping seem... dull.


Gainesville

Daily Statement
By Michael Adler
President Bush admits to killing JonBennet Ramsey

The President claims that doing so was "...within my inherent authority as
Commander-in-Chief."
"I did it to defend the security of the United States," said President Bush. "I
cannot, however, explain why this needed to be done, or how it makes you safer,
because doing so would
give too much information
to the terrorists. If you want
America to be secure and
safe, you'll have to put your
trust in your Commander in
Chief." He continued: "Some
of my critics say that it isn't
true. They say I don't have
the authority to protect you
in a time of war. They are
good patriotic Americans, but
they are confused. They are
unwittingly doing the work of
the terrorists, when they say
things that create divisions,
among us and weaken our
resolve. They cannot be
allowed to succeed." --
Marcus O'Reilly, a
professor at the Harvard
School of Law, said that the President's claims are controversial. "The'president's
claims, while not unprecedented," he said "are a matter of some disagreement." He
Added that, "Law suits will undoubtedly be filed in this matter, and eventually this
issue of presidential power will have to be ruled on by the Supreme Court. I think
the administration has a strong case, and I expect the court to rule in their favor."
Members of Congress are not waiting for the Court to act. Though a few lonely
voices challenge the President's assertions, the majority is set to vote on a bill that
will legalize killing little girls. Senator Mel Martinez (R, Fl) said (responding to
criticism of the President from Nancy Pelosi), "You would really feel like an idiot if
you learned that JonBennet Ramsey was giving secrets to Al Qaeda. If you want to
surrender to the terrorists, then. I can arrange a flight for you to Afghanistan, but
as for myself and a majority of this Congress, we are Americans and we're going
to stay and fight." He continued: "We need to give the President whatever tools he
needs to keep us safe, and if that means declaring open season on little girls than
so be it."
JonBennet Ramsey's father said "I hope we can keep our senses and not turn this
into another media circus. But for the record, the President has my full support."


Palestinian Civil War: Editorial (CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1)

blame Israel anyway.
As far as I'm concerned, the common denominator between these two groups is
violence. Both groups use violence to advance their agendas, be it against Israel or
amongst themselves. It seems ludicrous to think that the Palestinians would even
have the time to fight amongst themselves with all the oppression from Israel they
supposedly face daily.
The clashes between Hamas and Fatah have shown the world that the Palestinians
have bigger problems to face than Israel. The recent conflict in the Palestinian ter-
ritories has clearly revealed the Palestinian leadership's violent tendencies, for those
who weren't convinced by the decades-long support of terrorism through bombings
and various hijackings.
As the thoughts of a unity government fade into the horizon and the violence es-
calates, the Palestinian people must now create and unite behind a new movement
that renounces violence and seeks to promote Palestinian self-determination through
peaceful means. The sooner both Palestinian parties renounce violence and recog-
nize the legitimacy of Israel, the closer the Palestinians will be to securing a state to a
state and the sooner the peace process can be revived.


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Bling. Bling (Not)
By Giselle Mazur
E vision this: Pants so low they put France to shame. A grill so bling it would
make Cartier worry. Must be hip hop, right?
Not in Hector "Etchlne" Galvez's case. One of the emcees of local hip hop sensation/
Voice of the People, Hector is smart, humble, and articulate.
Polite and passionate, he reflects the group's social conscience rather than a
bad attitude.
Voice of the People was started in 2004 by Hector and Marley "The Messenger"
Montano, manager and co-emcee of VOTP.
"It started as a coalition of artists working
together," Hector says, adding that he and Marley
were simply collaborating, helping one another
with production and shows.
But the duo soon realized they had created a as.
powerful team of poetics and voice, and decided
to join forces.
After getting together with Shen Hunt,
guitarist and keyboardist, Ricky Abella,
bassist, Kenny "DJ Kenfolk" Johnson,
drummer and trumpeter, and the bands most
recent addition Shireen Taha on saxophone,
VOTP forged a unique hip hop sound backed
by a jazzy, soulful band.
A live band allows more room for creativity,
Hector says. Listeners will take a performer more
seriously when he is backed by instruments,
rather than simply rhyming to a stereo.
And rhyme they do.
The socially conscious lyrics attack
issues ranging from bettering oneself to
politics overseas.
One of the group's latest songs, "Targets,"
addresses the Israeli-Palestinian conflict and begs
listeners to reevaluate their perceptions of those -'.-..
involved, from terrorists and liberation fighters to
armed forces and civilians.
*Too many people are really complacent
,,ut what's going on," Hector says. 'to yi Jeniifr Hami .
His pers'oral motivation for creating music -
with a voic. stems from a childhood filled with his parents' protest music. Later, that
inspired him to write lyrics that would enlighten,.or at least let his thoughts be voiced.
Despite some relatively dark subject matter, VOTP's songs are profanity free, a
conscious decision Hector and Marley made.
Marley provided the clinching argument against profanity-laced music. He first
heard hip hop in the public library and immediately fell in love with the sound. Yet, as
Marley told Hector, if that music had been laced with curse words and strong sexual
content, the library would have banned it and Marley might never have fallen in
love and VOTP might be nothing more than a jumble of letters.
"One little sticker can decide whether or not a little kid can buy [the CD]," Hector
says, speaking of explicit content warnings on music.
When VOTP released their first CD, "What We're Feeling," they pressed 1,000
copies and sold or gave them away. Since then, the music has made its way from
Tampa to Miami, and even onto Pennsylvania. Fans from afar contacted the band,
raving about the tunes. While the band is unsure how the CDs traveled so far, they are
excited by its wide distribution.
Surprisingly, selling CDs is not the band's main focus. While always a goal,
VOTP's main interest lies in creating songs that are both beautiful and cohesive.
Quality and meaning is worth more than simply punching out prepackaged plastic
songs for the mass market.
Their music is reminiscent of old school trip hop, with clear influences by such
socially aware artists as The Roots and Bob Marley, and their ability to tell a good
story is evocative of Johnny Cash.
Recently, the band played a show in Miami at the Wallflower Gallery, and they
hope to soon release a recording of the show.
To experience Voice of the People, be sure to catch them in Jacksonville the
weekend the Gators take on the Georgia Bulldogs, Oct. 28, or catch them at the arts
festival in downtown Gainesville on Nov. 4.
For more information on VOTP visit http://www.myspace.com/VoiceofthePeople.


I
4.




7


Cara on Jewish TV

By Cara Bowen

Over the summer, while living on the Israeli coast, I was necessarily on the prowl
for some good distractions. I wanted to immerse myself in anything not connected
to the reality of missiles and rockets. Among the many dull gems I came across was the
television show "Weeds," airing Monday nights on Showtime and every night on the
pirate bay. The series was not only comfortably removed from the reality of wartime
- it was far beyond even the "reality" of the L.A. suburbs. Lax marijuana laws and
easy-going CPAs were but two points in the show's fantastical web. I inhaled it. Back in
Gainesville, I tuned in to the second season of "Weeds."
And how it spites me! In a characteristically implausible move,
one of the characters decides to go to rabbinical school to avoid being
shipped off to Iraq. The head of this school is a young, hot Israeli
woman, whom the draft dodger, Andy, immediately undertakes to
seduce. He is eager to showcase his Jewish knowledge, mangling the
words meduzot (jellyfish) and glida (ice cream) on the way. Of course, I
was excited at first two of my favorite things in one show!
But its already-ridiculous representations of Judaism and Israeliness
keep deteriorating. Sure, I'm still watching it; if nothing else, it has
brought into relief the ways in which Jews are succeeding and failing at
talking about themselves on television.
Yet Larry David ("Seinfeld"), creator of HBO's current "Curb Your
SEnthusiasm," gets it.
'In trying both to inform and to be authentic, "Weeds" fails to say
anything significant about contemporary Jewish life in the U.S. The
Hebrew words our male lead brings home from school like notes pinned
to his kindergartner's jacket are always shat out in the same sitcom
formula. For example "Be-sayder! That's Hebrew forfine." These are
never part of a larger joke, never have consequences in the narrative, and
never have anything else to add either thematically or plot-wise. They
fail at any kind of meaningful commentary on the world of their viewers.
On "Curb," we find a somewhat similar picture an intermarried
S-- family, and pointedly Jewish characters with little knowledge of or
;: 'devotion to their religion. But as the series progresses, exactly this
; becomes a big part of the joke. It works because the writers know much
more than their characters the reversal of the deal with "Weeds." In
S the fifth and most recent season of"Curb," you can find these Jewish
S:: -: : .' misunderstandings at the center of almost every joke. He buys scalped
tickets for Rosh Hashanah services; frantically tries to affix a mezuzah to
his door post before his father sees it bare; steals a Commemorative Passion: the Movie
Nail from around his father-in-law's neck; invites a sex-offender to the Passover meal at
his home, because the parolee is Jewish "and that's what.you're supposed to do."
Larry David the writer knows something that Larry David the character doesn't.
On episode "The Ski Lift," Larry the character tries to plunge headfirst into a Modem
Orthodox community, in order to get something he needs out of one of it's members.
Larry dons a kippa and heads to the local Deli in order to get on the other man's good .
side. He also tries to pass in his speech. He manages at first to do the accent (after all,
David isn't Cali-bor).
The other, Jewishly observant man characteristically frames his English words with
Yiddish. In response, Larry makes choking sounds and clears his throat as he waves his
hands around. "Yech, ech ech ach, ech!"
Back to "Weeds" -.when Andy first meets the Israeli woman, she insults him in
Hebrew and then asks if he understood. This is again in sitcom formula, with yellow
subtitles popping up the screen. She then resists him by telling him he's not man enough
for her.
The 'Rabbinical school' story in "Weeds," so far, is just another field for chasing
women. Andy's new vocab won't connect him to anything. Likewise these moments in
the show leave viewers with very little.
"The Ski Lift" climaxes with Larry David eating edible underwear he found in his
pocket (non-kosher gelatin!) while sitting on a stalled ski lift with the Orthodox dude's
young, unmarried, also observant daughter. It is dusk. She has already had to bury some
dishes Larry unkoshered, and finally must leap from the ski lift in order not to be alone
with a man after dark. HBO's got halacha!
"Weeds" tries to incorporate Jewishness by displacing a secular character into a
Jewish world, and bringing home his words of wisdom. But "Curb Your Enthusiasm"
depends on that lack of words. Larry can utter only gibberish with no "that means
!" to fill afterwards. To 'get' "Curb," you don't have to know how to fill in the blank
- the joke is the very gap.


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Page 11 The Shpiel
'. _. "-.-) G O'.-- "C .-,> .O"2 .C '.cV 'L "- "- o o


OCTOBER


oi cu youer pr a Sf


* The Gators are still undefeated after trumping both
Alabama and LSU!

* Bama was beat 28-13. Senior Chris Leak threw
two touchdown passes to bring the team out of the
hole in the second quarter and onto win.

* The Gators brought it home against LSU with a
final score of 23-10 in front of 90,714 fans, the
second largest crowd in the Swamp's history.
Freshman Tim Tebow helped bring the team to
victory by throwing the first two touchdown passes
of his career. / j

* Gator Growl was a success as fans enjoyed enter-
tainment from comedians Gabriel Iglesias and Jim
Gaffigan as well as the National Anthem sung by
members of Sister Hazel.


Oct. 23: Go entertain yourself...

Oct. 24: Join us at Hillel at 5:30 p.m. for Pumpkin Carving
with the Boys and Girls Club

Oct. 25: Check out Rock and Roll Hall of Famer "Gregg
Allman & Friends" at the Phillips
Center at 7:30 p.m.

Oct. 26: Get the scoop from Carl Hiaasen at 8 p.m. in the
Phillips Center

Oct. 27: Kesher Convention begins today, through Sunday "

Oct. 28: Take a trip to Jacksonville to watch the Gators
battle the University of Georgia at 3:30 p.m.

-------


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Hispanics; More Than Just Soccer?


By Derek Bernstein
S.', watch a lot of football. I'm not just your
S -. B I. average one game a week kind of person.
I watch more football than Bernie Machen
.. .......talks about Binge Drinking". But every
Week when I sit down for a little pigskin ac-
H .tion it seems like the game is missing some-
thing....
Hli p n-

S1 Noi\
I'm not
talking
about
kickers.
;-w"r 7mThere,


tons of Hispanic kickers who all grew up plaa ini L
soccer. I'm talking about running backs, wide re-
ceivers, linebackers (real football players). A poll ..
given by ESPN showed that football was the most
popular sport to Hispanics, way ahead of basket-
ball, baseball and even soccer. Even ten NF L teams
broadcast in Spanish on the radio.
So why aren't there more professional Hispanic -c
players? If you look at our own Gators rosier \ ou
see that only four of the over one hundred athletes 1
on the roster have traditional Hispanic last names
In the NFL the number is even lower. In a cirt like -
Miami, where a good number of Hispanic people
reside, their Dolphins only field one Hispanic
player, and he just so happens to be the kicker.
Being the huge football fan that I am I can onl N
name Jeff Garcia and Tony Gonzalez off the top of
my head. If you thought about baseball or soccer
you an name an unlimited amount of players So
why aren't more Hispanics playing football? No"\
at this point you're probably saying: well, .i hat are
communities and the NFL doing to help diA ersi f
football so that when I watch football I can see
more Gonzalez's and Rodriguez's. Well itjust so P I
happens that the NFL this week has launched
a branch of their web site (NFL.com) called



Discover Your Soul

Bv Leo Stein

D o \ou haxe soul? In the music world. that used to mean collecting _lotow\\n
records like Marx in Ga\.e and Otis Redding Toda\. though. \L e ha'e another
definition. Neo-Soul This generation of singingg soul has ne\er been fresher or
more heartfelt. Some are %%ell kno'\n. like D'.-Angelo i1 'kno\, .that naked gtu. in
the music \ ideo). Jill Scott. and John Legend. Some sound like the\ belong in a
Motonri band. like Mai\cell and .Angie Stone. And then there are the true gems.
those set to be discovered. NIM favorite Neo-Soul singer is this Canadian called
Rem\ Shand. No\., I'm usually a skeptic when it comes to Canadian musicians
(don't ask but after hearing Shand's prodigious album. Tihe 11r I Feel. it was
impossible not to tell people about him. This man imoes into a fimked-jazzx -hip-
hoppit, -soul music. and I can't think of a more brilliant musician in the genre.
Besides an incredible shining range. he \%rite. and plaN s his ow\n music. .-1 ot
it. So %\ hen \ou hear the piano guitar drums horn's snths organ etc. on Shand's The
Win I FccI. that's him you're hearing. And if that doesn't coni ince '.ou of the man's
genius, the 'words themsel es. their depth and meaning. w\ ill con\ since e\ en the tin
eared. It used to be that singing passionately was enough to corer omer emprt 1\ rics '


NFL.com/Latino which offers a sporting view dedicated to enhancing the interest
of Latinos to play football.
Only time will tell if the hopes of the NFL will come true, but for now the spreading
of diversity in football can only do one thing for the game...make it better, and any-
thing that makes football better is a good thing. So to all of the Spanish football players:
juegan futbol Americano (Play Football.)


II
".'. Ma. be if. cu sang Ohl. baby %\ ith
enough pain. people \wouldn't notice
that that \was pretm much it Yet in
"Burning Bridges" Shand sings. Gilh
and hWn.1r h,_ v croS.~sd into n hali/t ". L
tor hioldminu on about lea\ ing things
behind. In "Take a Nlessage." he sings.
But u Ihrbor cd ill tde'lnscs iand
0-,1 1". /V a il mki Ie a ld 1t 0 btrfik's ll/01
hl.qe back to describe the frustration in
: rerurrln'i to an old lo e
But e\en disregarding the talent
Sand I ricism. there's something simple
se\\ in the groo e. Most of the work
is upbeat and \well-mastered. and the
harmonies of hns singing are enough to
put 1 \ou in a li\ing-chilling mind set
Shand is a master in putting L ou iin a
Good mood. because the music is just
oo grooT\ for anything else. Remn.
Shand needs to be heard, for no other
:" reason than he stands as one of the finest
'., soul musicians of his time


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