The Shpiel ( September 12, 2006 )


Material Information

The Shpiel
Alternate title:
Physical Description:
v. : ill. (some col.) ; 35 cm.
The Shpiel
Place of Publication:
Gainesville Fla
Creation Date:
September 12, 2006
Publication Date:


Subjects / Keywords:
Jewish college students -- Periodicals -- Florida -- Gainesville   ( lcsh )
Jewish students -- Periodicals -- Florida -- Gainesville   ( lcsh )
Students -- Periodicals -- Florida -- Gainesville   ( lcsh )
Judaism -- Periodicals -- Florida -- Gainesville   ( lcsh )
Jewish way of life -- Periodicals   ( lcsh )
periodical   ( marcgt )
serial   ( sobekcm )
Spatial Coverage:
United States -- Florida -- Alachua -- Gainesville
29.665245 x -82.336097 ( Place of Publication )


Dates or Sequential Designation:
Vol. 1, issue 1 (Feb. 13/26, 2006)-
Numbering Peculiarities:
Issues also have Jewish calendar dates.
General Note:
Title from caption.
General Note:
"The Jewish newspaper at the University of Florida"--Masthead.
General Note:
Latest issue consulted: Vol. 1, issue 3 (Mar. 21/Apr. 3, 2006).

Record Information

Source Institution:
University of Florida
Rights Management:
All applicable rights reserved by the source institution and holding location.
Resource Identifier:
oclc - 65370113
lccn - 2006229065
System ID:


Material Information

The Shpiel
Alternate title:
Physical Description:
v. : ill. (some col.) ; 35 cm.
The Shpiel
Place of Publication:
Gainesville Fla
Creation Date:
September 12, 2006
Publication Date:


Subjects / Keywords:
Jewish college students -- Periodicals -- Florida -- Gainesville   ( lcsh )
Jewish students -- Periodicals -- Florida -- Gainesville   ( lcsh )
Students -- Periodicals -- Florida -- Gainesville   ( lcsh )
Judaism -- Periodicals -- Florida -- Gainesville   ( lcsh )
Jewish way of life -- Periodicals   ( lcsh )
periodical   ( marcgt )
serial   ( sobekcm )
Spatial Coverage:
United States -- Florida -- Alachua -- Gainesville
29.665245 x -82.336097 ( Place of Publication )


Dates or Sequential Designation:
Vol. 1, issue 1 (Feb. 13/26, 2006)-
Numbering Peculiarities:
Issues also have Jewish calendar dates.
General Note:
Title from caption.
General Note:
"The Jewish newspaper at the University of Florida"--Masthead.
General Note:
Latest issue consulted: Vol. 1, issue 3 (Mar. 21/Apr. 3, 2006).

Record Information

Source Institution:
University of Florida
Rights Management:
All applicable rights reserved by the source institution and holding location.
Resource Identifier:
oclc - 65370113
lccn - 2006229065
System ID:

Full Text

V 0 L U M E 2 1 S E2
September 12, 2006 September 26, 2006

5766 4 'wITl 5766 ,19 L~5

4 1 iGavels

By Josh Kaller

D o you smell that?
The posters, are freshly printed, the mud is wet and
ready, and the platforms are set for pontificating: It's Stu-
Sdent Senate time. Take a look around you? Are-there multi-
painted faces handing out insane amounts of inane ideas
.I .that represent the "DESIRES OF THE PEOPLE."
I want you to take a look. YES, you, reading this paper.
U, 4: Photo Jennifer Hamish Do they surround you? The Pants, the Swamp, the Action.
Do you hear them calling your name? Echoing into the
recesses of your soul asking, "What do YOU need?"
They arethere. But do you care? Probably not. Why are
we so apathetic to everything that happens beyond our face-
book profiles? Is this what our democracy will look like 20
years from now, when the reins of power are in our hands?
Ironically, the very generation with the greatest number
of cries for war and gatherings for peace is also parent to

Trading in Brains and Bucks

By Kimberly Gouz

H e's easy to miss. Donning a blue Gator T-shirt and khakis, Bryan Scott blends into the crowded Thursday-
afternoon scene at the Hub. But this soft-spoken, kind-eyed fraternity boy is anything but ordinary.,
Bryan, a third-year finance major, founded and operates www.CampusTrade.com; a snazzy craigslist-meets-
Facebook style Web site where college students can post unlimited classified ads for free. The site, which Bryan
created completely out of pocket, allows users to post profiles, leave and receive feedback, and "clip" ads they
want to save and revisit. Browse the 1,070 or so items listed to find everything from textbooks, subleases and
microwaves to shoes, an internship with the Republi-
can Party of Florida and, as of July 1, Gator foot iall I
Yes, even though scalping on campus can still eIarn
you a ride in a cop car, the elimination of F!orida':
ticket scalping law has made CampusTrade a safe
haven for all the ticket scalping action your oi ange-
and-blue paint laden, beer-guzzling self can handle.
Not so into'football? That's okay; Ana Guzman
wants to sell you a Columbian red-tail boa constrictor
K.B. wants.to buy your Archie Comic Books. .-nd
Mike Redondo, whose interests include trailing on
his fleet of yachts and watching his manserx ans fight
to the death in mock pirate battles, wants yoL to be
his trophy girlfriend.
CampusTrade is more convenient than a thrift store. -
cheaper than retail, and without eBay's shipping and i' .
handling charges. Did I mention the Gator football -
tickets? So, now that you know the glory that is
CampusTrade, you may ask where this Bryan kid got ,
'the brains, cash and chutzpah to power such a shpiel- P Phoo b Jennifer Harnish
tastic resource. P

democrats who
made some of
the most uncon-
scious deci-
sions in the past
decade (don't
get touchy
I'm using the

Let's care because
all we have is this
place, this format,
this opportunity.

platonic definition). The baby boomers spoke love and har-
mony, and now they watch as their heartfelt words stain any
memory of Woodstock with futility. All they have is, "That
was some good shit."
Take a look around, because now we are in
some shit. If this is what the Flower genera-
tion contributed, how far worse are we, The
Digi-Generation, going to be twenty years from
now? I guarantee you it can only get worse un-
less we start to care. Let's not care because it's
fashionable, because it's in, because the parties
in our pants might actually have an attendance
greater than one.
Let's care because all we have is this place,
this format, this opportunity. Let us not De-gen-
erate, and take for granted the very privileges
afforded to us. Let's participate, join in, give a
hand. The party leaders, the Student President,
everyone in Senate doesn't just want us in the
show, they need us there. If they are going to
do anything of value, it is only because we, The
People, have given them the chance of change.
Maybe I'm wrong, maybe all of you reading
right now do burn for action. Maybe, just may-
I be, all of you do care about what they do with


Page 2 The Shpiel


The Jewish Newspaper at
The University of Florida
Volume 2 Issue 2

Table of Contents

(the Innards)

Remember Darfur; a Comic on a Couch

Eyes on the News:
Do you really want to know what is happening out there?

Not All Those Who Wander are Lost:
Travel with our Wandering Jew through lands near and far.

Out of Africa:
Learn about Israeli Jews from Ethiopia.

Getting a New Head:
The Rabbi lets you in on a secret of Rosh Hashana.

Ad Page:
Love The Shpiel? So do these folks...and they are paying us!

Crossword Puzzle & Gainesville Daily Statement:
And you thought you knew how to rant....

Bands and Books:
Three Up High and Up, Up & Oy Vey


Get out sometime; there's more to life than Project Runway.

; -

The SHPiEL Players

Captain Guru Director

Her Highness the Executive Advisor

King of all that is Not Cheesy

Dictator Executive News Editor/
Production Manager

Prime Minister Executive Columns Editor/
Letters Editor

Chancellor Executive Managing Editor

President Executive Business Director

Ruling Executive Finance Director

The Eminent Ministers of Public Relations

Chief Executive Photographer

President Executive Israeli Correspondent

Executive Art Design/Layout Leader

Royal Master of the Web

Rabbi Yonah Schiller

Michal Meyer

Josh Kaller

Kimberly Gouz

Adina Thompson

Hilary D'Angelo

Laura Jones

Zalman Lubotsky

Rachel Rodrigues
Alison Meyer

Jennifer Harnish

Leo Stein

Allison Schiller

Jeremy Fields

Executive Advertising Board

Arts and Entertainment:
Gators, Chillin out with Jazz and Posin' with Priel.

Kelly Lammers
Antoine Rohlehr

Special thanks to Hillel at the University of Florida

t h e s h p i e 1


So r g

Darfur is Not Going Away

By Cristina Merrill

It's difficult to ignore mass murder, starvation and rape, under normal circumstances.
The United States government and media, however, are making it easy for us to do just that. The
region in focus here is the Darfur region of western Sudan. And the level of attention being given is
little to none. Violence on the people of Darfur by the Janjaweed, a militia group recruited from local
Baggara tribes, occurs on a daily basis now. Acts of bloodshed, which include mass killings, looting,
and rape, have caused a vast majority of the people of Darfur to flee their homes and seek refuge in
the surrounding. Sahara desert.
So, if the United States government and the media are not paying adequate attention to what is
taking place in Sudan, then who is? Answer: students. In the United States, university students are
among Darfur's most active supporters. Nikolas Wolfe, 21, is treasurer of Human Rights Awareness
on Campus at the University of Florida. The founder and former president of the HRAC, Wolfe is
frustrated with the minimal attention the Darfur crisis is receiving, and refers to what is happening as
Wolfe said genocide seldom receives adequate attention, but "students have been making it a point
to make Darfur a central issue."
Several non-governmental organizations such as Doctors Without Borders and the Red Cross have
set up refugee camps in these surrounding areas. Another prominent presence is the African Union
peacekeepers. At the end of this month, though, the United Nations Security Council's mandate
expires, and if it is not renewed, 7,000 UN peacekeepers will depart the region, leaving the people of
Darfur to fend for themselves against the Janjaweed militants.
So what will happen to these individuals? No one can really say, but predictions are not good, un-
less, the U.N. and the United States decide to take a stand and make a tangible difference. At the end
of this month, students from all around the country will be standing in front of the United Nations
building in New York City, demanding the United Nations and United States recognize these atrocities
and take a more active role in determining a viable solution.
Wolfe acknowledges that the issue is gaining awareness, noting that several celebrities have urged
students to call the United Nations and demand action. Still, there is a lot to be done, and it's up to
us to make a difference: to raise awareness on campus, to protest, to write, to tell our friends, to call
the United Nations and let it be known that this is simply unacceptable. Not convinced? Turn on your
computer, open Google Images and type in "Darfur."
You'll get the picture.

M atzah Ball


M y Mother's


y Father's


I am in


By Lori Finkel

Steve Solomon is convinced his family members possess only one purpose in life
to drive him into therapy. Their success is our gain as Solomon turns his life into
laughter in his one-man show, "My Mother's Italian, My Father's Jewish & I'm in
Solomon, who also wrote the musical score, combines rich ethnic dialects, sound
effects, and bawdy gestures to impersonate each of his 32 characters -

Page 3 The Shpiel

*Deses--' ..Tz_'Kab ,2.ba.h Di ,cofJeait em TI..v 2

i:~~ ~ j~.i;~~ .

" The Livnot Expe

Come to Israel for FREE
Ages 21 to 26
14 Day Trip
Hiking, Exploring. Community Service


~rience J~

Stop reading about Israel and experience it for
yourself If you're z2 yrs or older, like hiking and
community service, Livnot might be for you. We
have programs from two weeks to five months.

e fe israei ift < Septeber jth
For more information please visit www.livnot.com or
e-mail us at programs@livnot.com.

i 3 h A, e n 6'
"An MW z2j G*C 4-242,77 w OwvE~o r
W *O *fF g,%





t'ejM U'eDPAa\, W0. I q 113 0 1 u- P) I w lep

including police officers who have pulled him over, airport security person-
nel, Uncle Vito (who takes two hours to watch 60 Minutes) and his raspy-
voiced, four pack-a-day smoking sister. "Alright, so some of the characters
are a bit exaggerated," admits Solomon.
"Except for my sister; she really does smoke four packs a day and
doesn't understand why her voice sounds the way it does."
The hilariously guilt-ridden comic makes a return visit to Gainesville's
Curtis M. Phillips Center for a one-night-only performance of his show
on Tuesday, Sept. 12. Solomon, whose routine set in a therapist's waiting
room hits Broadway in November, stopped off here on his tour last February
and had the audience in raging fits of laughter. "I like Gainesville," Solo-
mon says. "They're good people."
Though he began doing impressions at age 12 impersonating a'Chinese
delivery boy Solomon only started a career in show business after getting
fed up with teaching high school physics and then his job as assistant super-
intendent of schools in Long Island, NY. "I wanted to leave the prestige of
a paying job and go on the road making $30 a night.".
Playing shows from New York to Montana, Solomon has headlined at
the Tropicana Hotel, Las Vegas and Atlantic City, been featured on Comedy
Central, and performed with George Carlin and Dionne Warwick.
Although the title suggests mostly Jewish and Italian humor, Solo-
mon's comic vignettes are meant for everyone. "I played in Montana
where there wasn't a single Jew or Italian, but [the audience] really got a kick out of
the show."

Showing Tuesday, Sept. 12 at Curtis M Phillips Center. The performance starts at
7:30 pm and is expected to run about 80 minutes. Tickets are available at the Phil-
lips Center Box Office or on the website, which offers a coupon printout to purchase
discount tickets.

t h e s h p i e


0 r 9

Page 4 The Shpiel

Eyes ? tb News
E- - -- -- --- .-.--

Israel began lifting its blockade on Lebanon's air space and seaports Thursday. Israeli Prime Min-
ister Ehud Olmert's office said Israel had received assurances from the U.S. secretary of state, Con-
doleezza Rice, and the U.N. secretary-general, Kofi Annan, that foreign peacekeeper forces were
prepared to take over observation posts designed to monitor the possible smuggling of arms to He-

Israel appointed its first female Supreme Court president. Justice Dorit Beinisch formally took over
Thursday from President Aharon Barak and will begin her new duties next week. Beinisch, 64, has
served in the Supreme Court for more than a decade.

Katherine Harris, the Florida Republican who said electing non-Christians amounts to "legislating
sin," won her party's U.S. Senate primary. Harris, currently in the U.S. House of Representatives,
has said her comment to a Baptist publication was "taken out of context," although it was published
as a full transcript.

The world will not allow Iran to develop a nuclear program, President Bush said. The ultimatum,
delivered Tuesday in the second of a series of speeches on the terrorism threat, was significant be-
cause it suggested that Bush would lead an effort to isolate Iran if the current bid to do so at the
United Nations fails.

Iran unveiled a locally made warplane. Iranian television this week broadcast footage of the new
Sa'aga, or Lightning, fighter jet in action.

A U.S. rabbi caught in a television sting focused on Internet predators was convicted. A judge on
Wednesday found David Kaye guilty of traveling for sex with what he thought was a 13-year-old boy
he met on the Internet.

A kosher butcher in an Orthodox community in New York is accused of supplying nonkosher
chickens. The Department of Agriculture and Markets seized 15 cases of chickens from Hatzlo-
cha Grocery in Monsey after it received word that the chickens supplied by Shevach Meats were
not kosher.

Angels With Gavels (CONTINUED FROM P. 1)

YOUR $13 million a year; you do read the words the rainbow squad
hands out to you; you do listen to the jumbled pep-talk about platforms,
people, and performances. Maybe you are ready to vote.
But maybe not.
Will you give yourself a chance to care after exams, tests, and home-
work let you breathe? Maybe you'll begin to give a damn, only after
the dam bursts and floods us all with bureaucratic bullshit and backlash
-just like in the backwash of Katrina. This college.government is noth-
ing less than a taste of the very government we live under. If you don't
care about the concepts that hit your dorm rooms and your classrooms,
then when will you have the room to look at the things and places that
are around you.
If we don't start realizing that others' decisions have an effect on
us, we will be at a loss when we find no one to stand for something
we actually believe in. We were too busy to look. We were to busy to
check. We were to busy to bother. Well, next time you're sitting at a
bus stop and you wonder why this bus doesn't stop rain or shine, don't
complain to the Student Senate look to the student body that forgot
to say something.


Dr Da\ id Cook
Professional Athletic NMoti\ational

Joe TorTe
Manager of the New York Yankees

Phil Jackson
Head Coach of the LA Lakers

For more information on our Organization and details
about the speakers, check us out on-line at:


Or contact us at:

Fax 410.358.9579

3307 Taney Road, Baltimore. Maryland 21215


. t h e s h p i e 1

.:.*.. ...: a.--
. i .* '-.,
*'* t'tHI ;" I.1. -


o r g

Page 5 The Shpiel

The Wandering Jew

C recent City, California
Donny Johnson, a prisoner at the Pelican Bay State Prison in California, has be-
come an artist who works from behind the bars of his 8-by-12-foot concrete cell. Serv-
ing three life terms in solitary confinement for murder and related crimes, Johnson has
made a brush of foil, plastic and uniquely chosen strands of his own hair.

According to The
as his canvases, and I
candies to create his
might be too tempt-
his paintings at
Mexico, where ,
son has not touched
and people attribute
sense deprivation

New York Times, he uses blank postcards
mixes the remains of decomposed M&M
colorful painting (a good idea, Skittles
ing!) The inmate recently showed off
a gallery in San Miguel de Allende,
some were sold for over $500. John-
another person in close to two decades,
his art to the resulting isolation and
of living in solitary confinement.

Johnson's paintings set themselves apart from the artistic endeavors of thousands of
other inmates who choose to paint nude women and the beefy men of their lives.



W ellington, New Zealand
Protesting against the corruption and male domination of the New
Zealand judiciary court, Rob Moodie has decided to fight back in style:
woman's style, that is.
Moodie, 67,. a former police officer now turned respected litigator, (not
to mention bald and mustached) said that he is fed up with the lack of
sensitivity and care of the "old boys" in the system. The Dominion Post
reported that in an effort to show his solidarity with the women suffering
discrimination, he has decided to only wear women's clothing to work. He
has requested that he be addressed as "Ms. Alice" and his attire, highlighting
the unfair culture of male intimidation, power and control, will become frillier
if he senses that corruption has worsened.
The lawyer, also a married father ofthree, seems to enjoy this gender-bending
protest, and has given a few "flashes of lace" at the urinal. However, he is
reportedly keeping his trademark mustache, no matter how much it clashes
with his diamond broach.

ahuya, i nuaina
Shared interests and hobbies are essential to a working relationship,
any expert would say. Kanchana Ketkaew, the Scorpion Queen, and Bun-
thawee Siengwong, the Centipede King, now a happily married
couple, might be the epitome of compatible. .-
Ketkaew, who formerly held the Guiness Book record ..
for living in a cage for 32 days with over 3,400 scorpions, -
married Siengwong, who set the world record for spending .
28 days with 1,000 centipedes. The ceremony took place in
a Ripley's Hunted Adventure House, 50 miles south of Bang-
kok, where both ill-clad insect lovers adorned their white gar- .
ments with live scorpions and slimy centipedes; the groom,
not content with wearing the insects on his wedding day, was
said to also have a wiggly centipede in his mouth. The BBC
reports that the Thai couple exchanged vows, followed by a quick
climb into a coffin to finally consummate their promise of love.
Kanchana's world record as the scorpion record
holder has since been beaten, which leaves her
with the title of Scorpion Princess.

T> \/.' C:.J R!piiii
', ,.,
Birthda\ parties and circuses might not
be the ornl places to see a clo-wn show\ noi a-
da\s. as fertilitr clinics c ar added to the list
Reports s.a that omen Io \ish to s-ccess-
full:, perpetuate the species nmut be open to
"clowniiin around' A fertility research team .'-
told guests at an international medical meeting
in Prague that \%omen '\ho \\ere exposed to i
entertainment from clowns \\ere almost rt"ice
as successtil at in-\ itro fertilization than those
\ithl no clo\wn exposure Israeli doctor She-
\ach Friedler. leader of the team. is a trained
The teamn- decided that rnen \\iLh red noses and
big feet might not cut it Ior these older \\omen. i M IE m
and so the "jadlt-friendl\" 'chef Shlomi Algussi ,- ..i._.
came to life as the modem-day trckster, Soon
after the introduction of clown therapy into hospitals in Zerifin, Israel, the
conception rate increased from 20 to 35 percent. Not many clinics are ex-
pected to introduce the fertilization technique. Patients are willing to pay for
medication, but some are still skeptical when it comes to paying for clowns.

t h e s h p i e 1

Be Fruitful



The Kung-Fu Jews of


Sn the highly populated city of Shanghai,
Lyou can watch as the world's largest
human ant colony, which consists of 15 million people, march
to and fro everyday; But you never would have guessed hidden
amongst this nation of DVD rippers, Technology tyrants, and
Nintendo nerds that you would find Jews hustling in the hood.
In this large city, there is a small, quaint, and cute 250 person
Jewish community nestled somewhere amongst the fried rice.
How did they get there? Why did they go there? Was it the
desire for affordably cheap at-home technology coupled with a
love of soy sauce that led them this far east of the Western Wall,
all the way to the Great Wall? We will never know. But what we
do know is this:

Chinese food is not only delicious, light, and tasty it is
also appropriate for the Shabbat Dinner table. Challah
and chopstix were never seen happier together.

The academicians of China have finally understood the
merits of the Jews, which can be taught through the
Jewish Studies program at the University of Shanghai.
-Solomon, Spinoza, and Saigon all under one roof.

The population of the Chinese people is the not the only
number, raising. With the first Jewish wedding and
a new pre-school, the Chinese census bureau will
definitely have to work a little harder to tally that total.

A brand spanking new Jewish center has finally unveiled
its synagogue, school, restaurant, and Woman's Bath
for this growing community. Godzilla has recently
discovered his Jewish roots through his grandmother,
and is said to be attending services regularly.

Information compiled by Alison Nyman

I w, LOM

Tr i b Zs 1




-" '


0 r 9

Page 6 The Shpiel
,,,,,,,,,.OOO 0 OO01 .00O0Q OO0 000 0Q QO0

Out of Africa i

..To Israel

.-* .. jm.. -

Brains and Bucks (CONTINUED FROM 1)

Well, back in second grade, while most of us played with our easy-bake
ovens and trimmed the hair on our Barbie dolls (ok, maybe that's just me),
Bryan, the son of a computer programmer, taught himself computer code. By
the ripe-old age of 15, Bryan had opened JaxPCs, a computer consulting busi-
ness that specializes in areas such as training, networking, web solutions, and
custom hardware installations.
CampusTrade, a subsidiary of JaxPCs, was funded with money earned from
Bryan's computer consulting work and other odd jobs, including selling used
golf balls to his neighbors, And how much does one make selling golf balls?
As much as $200 a day, if you're pre-pubescent Bryan Scott. Bryan says he
started the golf ball business one summer, just for the fun of it. Each day,
after returning from summer camp, Bryan would venture onto the golf course
behind his Jacksonville home to see if the lake was low. On a good day, the
water had receded just enough to expose the golf balls, nestled at the bottom,
waiting to be collected. It took all afternoon, but Bryan didn't mind the hunt,
sometimes collecting as many as 100 golf balls in one stretch.
Bryan says he created CampusTrade, much like the golf ball business, for
fun and out of a curiosity and love for business process. For the first year,
Bryan absorbed the costs of running CampusTrade, deciding it was better to
take a loss than to flood the site with ads before a substantial user base was
achieved. Three weeks ago, he slowly began to incorporate a small amount of
advertising into the site, and though he hasn't.broken even yet, Bryan says his
profit margins are already very high.
In addition to the affect CampusTrade has on the numbers in Bryan's bank
account, there is also a question of how the site, which allows users to post-
unlimited ads, is affecting other local business that depend on advertising dol-
lars for survival. Two such businesses, The Independent Florida Alligator and
The Shpiel, agreed to comment on the issue. Stephanie Garry, the editor of the
Alligator, says a lot of fear exists in the newspaper industry because of free
online advertisements.
"The Alligator is free because of the money it receives from advertise-
ments," Stephanie says, "[and so] I believe the money we've always gotten for
display ads and classified serves a purpose other than purely advertising."
Stephanie adds that the general consensus at the Alligator is that advertising
sales have not declined due to free online advertisements on CampusTrade,
although it's hard to know for sure. CampusTrade's motto-of-sorts, displayed
on some pages of the Web site, is "save time, save money, save trees," reflect-
ing the mentality that advertising on the internet is not only cost-effective, but
perhaps more efficient than printing ads in a newspaper.
"I'm not a tree-hugger, but it seems pretty wasteful/to print 50,000 to 60,000
copies of a newspaper a day when most of them end up in the trash, and are
not recycled, or blowing around campus," Bryan says.
Josh Kaller, a columnist and spokesperson for The Shpiel, said Campus-
Trade is taking away all of The Shpiel's classified.
"It's because of him we don't even have classifieds" Kaller joked.

Sn such a new, small, and crowded country like
SIsrael, tension breeds easily. Like America, im-
migration has shaped the state. So who is an Israeli?
i Is it the man who can trace his family roots here back
seven generations? Is it the survivor who made her
way here after the Holocaust? Is it an Arab? Identify-
Sing who isn't an authentic Israeli is simpler.
With all the different Jewish groups who've
Made a home here, one of the least respected are
the Ethiopians. Unintegrated in every city, the fault
is not entirely theirs. After asking several Israelis, I
learned that iman here just aren't interested in where the Ethiopians are coming, or even get-
ting to kno,, then Ethiopians are freelUaders in this country, they say a common response to
new groups of imlij ats F or e aamnple, many Israelis blatantly despise the Russian Jews who
arrived en mass during thei Eighties Besides profiting from non-Jewish laws (some Russian
stores sell pork and open on the Sabbath) and maintaining a reluctance to learn Hebrew, many
Russians coimmuriities are di&conrnected from the rest of society. Nevertheless, explained Yossi
-Yolah, an acquaintance l ho specializes in Israeli society, the majority of Israelis would much
rather receive a white Russian Je.e into the country than a black Ethiopian.
That's strange,. since Isral i as conceived as a haven for discriminated-against Jews.
It as [sIjrael that rescued Je% ish Ethiopians from genocide and famine in the mid-Eight-
Sies and Ile% them to Isael to like. But these days, some Israelis still can't see them as really
r Isaehi
So in this daze of conftusion, I i ent to an Ethiopian Sabbath service in Beer Sheva. With the
same prayers, the same speech from a rabbi, and the same communal spirit, it's similar to a
million other services. Afterwards, I went to the head rabbi and he told me warmly, "Thank you
for coming, and know that you're always welcome here." I wish some Israelis could say the
same to him.

U U-~L__ _~ ~~~_~

t h e s- h p i e 1

*The Shpiel
seeks staff members.

The Shpiel will hold an open house on -
Wednesday, Sept. 13 from
7:30 p.m. to 9 p.m. at the Hillel.
Professor Mike Foley from the
College of Journalism will speak at the event,
and representatives from The Shpiel
will be able to answer questions.
We are looking for dedicated and hardworking
individuals to fill the following positions:
Advertising Sales
Staff Writers
Section Editors
Graphic Designers

For more information contact Laura Jones at


0 r 9

Page 7 The Shpiel

Agreed. the rabbis anJd d.eain did not con0.suhlt ilh e.ch
other on the edticatioi.al project ve call 'College.' No,
there e\ ident ['.e te i o late-nighit braiinitorming I esseioins
struggling v. ith ho' to li\ e a robust Je' ish lile within ,
college environment. I don't want to try to sum up the
values that dictate college life, that would be thin ice for a mid-thirties graduate of
rabbinical school; but I can say that there is no easy answer for doing the Jewish
thing on a college campus where Jewish life is sort of...not the focus. With the High
Holidays approaching, this becomes even more apparent.

New Year-ing It

Some of us go to shull," some of us go to "temple," and some of us "don't."
Rosh Hashana (literally 'Head of the Year') is really a time when we stop and
recognize the origins of things. Our
tradition tells us that 1 HATE TO existence as we
know it was birthed on.this day. A
good time to check out BREAK IT TO YOU, what we have
given birth to...through BUT JUDAISM our actions,
words and thoughts. Regaining our
greater context and REALLY DOESN'T reorienting our
vision, we are reminded of our story
and prodded into our HAPPEN IN SHUL future. Images
of family, food and frumpy hats at
services may come to OR TEMPLE. mind. This is
good stuff...but we've got to step it up.
On Rosh Hashana, if we aren't looking at
ourselves a bit harder, then we could be missing an opportunity. But keep in mind,
we eat honey with apples to remind us that if we don't look a little sweet in our own
eyes, we probably aren't looking at ourselves right.

Kickin it off Right

The Wildcats are coming to The Swamp, Saturday, Sept. 23, the first day of
Rosh Hashana, and some of these ideas are becoming a bit fuzzy as you walk with
the throngs towards the stadium. That could be because you have had a few, or
because you are having a hard time making out the Jewish New Year amidst the
Tailgate haze. There are two ways to proceed. One: you could go to Hillel, hang with
some folk who are trying to connect to the New Year in a plush building, with great
food and chill environment. Two: Bring an elevated head space to whatever you
are doing. So hpw do I elevate a scene that seems to be far from anything I would
associate with Jewish religious experience? Well, this is actually a great challenge
Judaism is posing to us. I hate to break it to you, but Judaism really doesn't happen
in shul or temple. Those are nice and important pieces to a much larger Jewish
landscape. The stage I am talking about is life. Being Jewish is about perceiving
your life with a heightened sense of value and opportunity. In its ideal, every
moment is rich with meaning and possibility. If our internal eyes are open, things
are better, you are better and going to shul is better. Who knows, it could be the best
game of your life.

Happy New Year,
let's make it sweet.
Rabbi Yonah

Sendyour questions to rabbiyonah@theshpiel.org

., p ...i ......l.


I141 I

IU _

Cox Communications services available in most areas. Cox Limited Basic Service is required for Cox Digital Cable packages. Cable modem
purchase or rental required for Cox High Speed IntemetCable Telephone modem equipment required for Cox Digital Telephone service.
Modem with battery backup will be provided and installed by Cox. Modem and battery backup shall remain the property of Cox and must be
returned upon discontinuation of service.If Modem isdisconnected or removedor battery is not charged,telephone serviceincluding access
to emergency 911 services, will not be available. Installation, inside wiring, jacks activation fees, taxes and surcharges additional.Telephone
service provided by Cox FloridaTelcom, LPan affiliate of Cox Communications, Inc.Other restrictions apply. 02006 Cox Communications, Inc
All rights reserved.

t h e s h p i e 1

o r g


Page 8 The Shpiel

.... ... ........-...........



1412 W. University Ave. 3422 S.W. Archer Road
Gainesville, FL 32603 Gainesville, FL 32608
(352) 376-3826 (352) 372-1171
Next to Chipotle Next to Blockbuster

(352) 372-5375 BUSINESS
(800) 755-0086 TOLL FREE
(352) 371-1526 FAX
(352) 376-0839 RESIDENCE
3870 NW 83 Street
Gainesille, FL 32606
f I.www.mmparrish.com
Each Office is Independently Owned And Operaed.

X. ii -.. T, -.

.0 i

,* i, '. .;.'"lRC, INC,
.' "-' .
J'aJ y Linkenhelt
EC13001848 ., Hi. : i, I, I.-.I ,n
4000 S.W. 35th Terrace Gainesville, FL 32608
.Voice 352-373-3516 e Fax 352-335-3836

10100 NW 13"' Street Pam and James Greenewald
Gainesville, FL 32653-9705 386-462-7722 386-462-4377 (Fax)
gardenangel22@alltel.net 352-359-1133 352-359-0857 (Cell)


MIKE SANGUINE 352-377-5817

P eI .*0r3

Premier Productions
is a revolutionary
company founded with
one distinct vision in
mind Help make the
most of your event.


M.M. Parrish Construction
3455 SW 42nd Avenue
Gainesville, Florida 32608
Office: (352) 378-1571
Fax: (352) 377-0669
e-mail: gainesville@mmpcc.com
website: www.mmpcc.com
CGC 056005



-. Gainesit, F&rinda-

: Thinking Globally-Roasting Locally.

j -- ^100% (Pure Sfiade growm Organic
f5ifrtitudeY eirloom 4ra6ica

Don't live with pain & stress
Dr. Jeffrey S. Gordon
Chiropractic Physician

305 SW 7th. Terrace, Gainesville Fl 32601
6 blocks from campus
we can contactyour doctor or attorney for records

A"44 WWW"4Im V w
~oc14et244 t T4e ~t4d!







Identity and Imagination
A MIND OF HER OWN:.Fathers and Daughters in a Changing World
,.l .i Ia l1 I A 1 .1 i Mi. ,
Scholar-led book discussion will take place in the Hillel
Library. Free and open to the public.
OCTOBER 1 1185 Park Avenue
10:00 a.m. 12:00 p.m. by Anne Roiphe

2:00 4:00 p.m.
2:00 4:00 p.m.

American Pastoral
by Philip Roth
Bee Season
by Myla Goldberg

Call 273-0369 or go to www.uflib.ufl.edu for more information.
Co-sponsored by Hillel at the University of Florida UNIVERSITY of
and the University of Florida Center for Jewish Studies uF FLORIDA
Let's TalkAbout It! has been made possible through a George A. Smathers
grant from Nextbook and the American Library Assoc. Libraries

t h e s h p i e 1


0 r 9



Page 9The Shpief


By Michael Adler

House-passed immigration bill calls for public ex-
ecutions to dissuade illegals; Elephant lobbies sen-

The House of Representatives last week passed a
sweeping immigration reform bill that called for
public executions of suspected illegal aliens. Mean-
while, debate raged both in the Senate and in the
streets, with legislators introducing competing
bills, and students staging walk-outs.

Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D. Tx) introduced the most
liberal bill in Congress, allowing illegal immigrants

to become citizens

if they work for one year with-

out pay, submit a $5,000 application fee, and demon-
strate their civic consciousness by donating three
organs to the terminally ill. Opponents attacked
Jackson Lee's bill as giving "amnesty" to law break-
ers. As Jackson Lee introduced the bill, an elephant
ran through the house floor, though representatives
were too busy shouting to notice.

On the opposite side of the issue, James Nonsense-
brenner (R. WI) and Peter King (R. NY) introduced a
bill calling for shooting border crossers on sight.
In addition, anyone caught giving food or water
to suspected illegal aliens would also be shot on
sight. "If we make the United States inhospitable
enough, the illegals will stop coming," said Non-
sensebrenner. Peter King added that "Shooting on

1. If it's an apple, it sure ain't red
6. Even more of a color that is notice-
able in its lack of color
11. A wood and a color
12. Many of these make up the blue-
print of life
13. What accountants hate, yet pro-
vides jobs for garbage collectors
16. Unmelted
18. A decimal volume (Abbr.)
19. What is owed
20. To lease or to allow
21. Popular breed of dog
22. An inhabitant of a small Asian
25. Who gives you access to the
Internet? (Abbr.)
26. A small amount of digital infor-
27. A bitter herb or a French street
28. A description of Florida in
30. Not happy
32. An article of female attire
35. A direction
37. The worst place to finish in a race
39. How you pour a drink after too
much of 6 down
40. A small distance
41. An edible root
42. Spanish which
43. A kind of cabbage
44. Someone enlisted inthe military
is this
45. To restore or to make over
47. An oven for clay
49. Apart of the human body
50. A European country well known
for ice cream and art (Abbr.)
51. Mountains in Switzerland
53. Falls over something
55. Leader of famous Irish band.
57. Tidy
58. Mucus from the respiratory tract
60. A poker stake or what comes
61. Sacred
62. Approximate leaving time (Abbr.)
63. To age is to get __

1. In the present time
2. Nevertheless
3. A minor prophet

4. A bad or mischievous person
5. To get down on your knees
6. An alcoholic drink made with
juniper berries
7. A fever that recurs regularly
8. Not today or tomorrow
9 Direction (Abbr.)
10. A color
14. Units of current
15. To hit with an open hand
16. Before growing into the beautiful
swan, what was the creature?
17. Chunks of floating ice (much
more than fits in a glass of Coke)
21. A bad thing to do if you're
planning on heaven T \
23. A little word used to indi- E D
cate place .\1
24.A city within London N l
29. To use your brain E T
31. Southern state (Abbr.) C
32. Yet another color K V
33. A color found on horses
34. To be not awake
36. Ghost or specter, or even a
38. To droop --
39. Another use for a finger- E
nail RE

46. Unpopular cousin to the bee
48. To mix
51. A less kind description of an
uptight person
52. The top of the head or a meat
55. A very non-kosher sandwich
56. The standard dictionary of
English English (Abbr.)
59. An element (Abbr.) of the male

rD>I) P 1N'E l | I
0 0 YO A R R W0 VON E s|
L P_ L m I W Io 8
L i PAL L LE 0 0 7

) I% N [ k I T

sight is a little bit more inhospitable
than the wimpy house bill calling for
public executions."

While they gave their speeches, the el-
ephant came back, this time with bright
orange letters, spelling out NAFTA,.
spray painted on its sides. It ran up
and down the aisles, trumpeting loudly,
forcing representatives to shout louder
at each other.

Senators John McCain (R. AZ), and Ed
Kennedy (D. Ma) collaborated pn a middle
of the road bill. Introducing the bill,
McCain said, "Everyone understands that
the current system is broken. We can-
not allow people to continue to ignore-f
the rule of law, unless they're the
president." The bill allows any Latin
American who wants to work in the United
States to receive a permanent work visa,
providing that person has a sponsorwith
a job waiting. The sponsor will be ex-
empted from labor laws such as minimum
wage and union recognition. For popu-
lation census, these immigrant workers
will count as 3/5 of a person. Any im-
migrant worker found to have left their
official job may be shot on sight.

On the streets, debate and protest
raged. High school students across Cali-
fornia, Texas, Colorado, New Mexico, Ne-
vada, and Minnesota walked out of class
and took to the streets to protest the
immigration bills. On August 20, the
fourth day of such protests, the LA uni-
fied school district was ready. Riot po-
lice held numerous schools in lock-down.
When students tried to walk out, they -
were beaten by batons, and shot with
tazers. "We're doing this for their own
safety" said district spokesperson Chris
Eftichou. "We want to send a message to
parents that school is the safest place
for their children."

t h e s h p i e 1



o r g

Page lOThe Shpiel

Just Make Sure You

By Oiselle Mazur

They are the guys you went to high school
with. Those "too cool for school" garage
band guys with a knack for horsin' around and
an undeniably sarcastic wit. They are Three Up
High. And just as summer tans fade into dark
circles under the eyes of late night crammers,
these guys wilt under the pressure of band prac-
tice and study, right? But these guys don't drop
chords or grades, living proof of the possibility '
of combining cool and school. Made up of two
University of Florida students, a Santa Fe Com-
munity College student and a self-proclaimed 4
bum, the band members have a broad perspec-
tive on their demanding lifestyle.
Brelan Moritz, guitarist gnd lead vocals for
Three Up High, admits to struggling at times to
keep up with both school and the band.
"Being a microbiology and cell science major is hard enough on its own," Brelan
says, "but I made that decision and if I'm dedicated, I can do it."
The guys have the chemistry of years of friendship, and when Steven Nobles, drum-
mer and SFCC student, explains the importance of utilizing time, he provides an open
invitation to rag on him.
"What's your major again? Oh, that's right, recreation," jokes Luke Bessey, bassist
and UF finance major.
The group laughs and Steven retorts, "I like to think of it as leisure studies."
Joking aside, Steven explains how in the past, when behind in math class, he sought
help from Luke, who excels in the subject.

Keep Your Night Job

"If you are in a band together, you have
to help each other," Luke says. "I think
the band actually helps me to be a better
student." Then with a smile, he adds, "Yeah,
we really hate each other." But the reputa-
tion of rock-n-rollers has preceded Three Up
High. In high school "One More Look," one
of the band's ballads, was voted senior class
song, but the school stopped the band from
playing at graduation.
"The-principal didn't like that the vale-
dictorian was in a rock band," Brelan says.
A case, he believes, of stereotypes getting in
the way of thinking, as he clearly did not fit
the mold of a slacker songster. Their music
is evidence enough that these guys are more
than power chord ripping, drum bashing ma-
terial. The metaphorical lyrics of songs such
Sas "Spider Song," and "Four Letter Word"
an allusion to love rather than obscen-
ity- prove to be more than they first appear, just like the guys themselves.
While Three Up High is indeed born of that common band heritage one that
holds band practices in storage bays with an ever-present gaggle of groupies willing
to play audience, it offers far more than meets the eye.
Ignore their banter ("Whatever you do, don't come to our show," is standard),
skip your studies for a night, and go grade Three Up High live at Sidebar on Septem-
ber 27.

For more about the band visit http://www.myspace.com/threeuphigh

Sn Comics

By Jeremy Fields

W ho do you need when the world turns scary? When the march of
fear from Great Depression to Nazis to communism- approaches
your front door, who can you turn to? Forget governments and armies, call
Captain America or Batman.
The turbulent decades of the 1930s to the 1960s saw the birth of the
superhero genre. As the X-Men and other comic book heroes become
pop culture icons, one thing remained constant. They shared a common
origin; they were all created by Jews.
Coincidence? Try telling that to the superheroes and their creators. In
those days, Jewish illustrators were shunned from most "respectable"
positions. Many turned to comic book publishers, who were predominantly
Jewish, and helped revitalize the medium. Before the. superhero, stories of
romance, mystery and monsters filled comic books, none of which had a
large following.Not until 1938, when the first lager-than-life hero appeared
in the skies of Metropolis, did the Golden Age of Comics began.
Very few of these illustrators collaborated with one another, yet certain
common themes emerge in their work certain Jewish themes. Did the
common culture shared by the creators of the comic book superhero sub-
consciously graft itself onto the genre?
In his book, Up, Up, and Oy Vey!, Rabbi Simcha Weinstein explores this
very notion. Examining eight major comic book properties, and devoting
a chapter to each, he presents many examples of genuine Jewishness along
the way.
From the very first page, it is clear that passion for his comics and his Judaism fill
Weinstein. Given the premise of the book,'I expected the two to play off of each other
quite nicely, though they do come into conflict as the rabbi presents his evidence.
Most of his arguments are grounded, but when Weinstein steps with his religious foot
forward it ends up in his mouth. For example, he postulates that the iconic 'A' on
Captain America's mask is a reference to the traditional Jewish golem (one would in-
scribethe letters aleph [A], mem [M] and tav [T], spelling the Hebrew word for truth
on the forehead of a golem to give it life). It couldn't simply stand for America, could

it? At times, Weinstein digs too deep for
Of all the comic book heroes
covered in his investigation, the
chapter dedicated to he X-Men simul-
taneously illustrates the book's strengths
and weaknesses. The comic focuses
on a minority group's struggle to find
acceptance in a society that loathes and
fears them. Two schools of thought
dominate: Professor Xavier's dovish
stance and Magneto's hawkish outlook.
While this plot could easily serve as a
microcosm for Israel's struggle in the
world, or the plight of the Jewish people
as a whole, it could also represent the
struggle of any other minority. This
is not to say that the creators' Jewish
background had nothing to do with
the themes explored in the comic, but
rather that it was not the sole motivat-'
ing factor. Weinstein acknowledges it as
such as if any sign of a Jewish theme
discredits all other possibilities.
Granted, assigning influences is a
tricky business. Yet Weinstein uses even
the most indirect allusions to possibly
Jewish themes, no matter how far the
stretch, as solid evidence of the genre's
Jewish roots. Seek and you will find, he
believes. He seeks a definitive answer... something I doubt even the creators themselves
could truthfully provide.
Weinstein writes both passionately and insightfully about the Jewish undertones
prevalent in American comic books. The Jewish connection to the comic book superhe-
ro is undeniably there, albeit subtle, but Weinstein tries too hard to prove its existence.
By forcing every possible instance into the spotlight, he detracts from the strength of his
findings, leaving his reader with as many poor examples as substantial ones. His zeal is
his best friend and worst enemy.

t h e s h p i e 1




o r g

Page 11 The Shpiel



Gives ARMS to our
brothers in Israel, lay
Tefilin, say Schema,
and enjoy break-
fast at 9 a.m. at the
Lubavitch Jewish
Reality Check:
'Welcome to the Real
World" of school and
stress, held in the
Reitz Grand Ballroom
from 2-5 p.m.
Ready for the Kesher
Kickoff at Lake
Wauberg? Meet at
the Hillel at
12:30 p.m.



Maybe you can Hear the whole shpiel
relate to "My about the Shpie/at the
Mother's Italian, Hillel at 7:30 p.m.
My Father's Jewish, See page 12 for more!
and I'm in Therapy"
performing at the Meet the love of
Phillips Center at your life at the 706
7:30 p.m. Bistro for a MEGA
($10 student ticket) singles event for
grad students and
aShr coming! young professionals.

open at 7:15 p.m, he Interested in the
speaks at 8, and there s winter Taglit-Brth-
Q&A to right trip? Come to
SfoIovJ the info session at 8

p e HJ13

Get a job!
Or just bring your resume
to the Career Showcase
at the O'Dome between 9
a.m. and 3 p.m.
Are you Less Than Jake?
Are you going to see
the concert at Common
Grounds two nights in a
row? Doors open at
6 p.m. ($17 tickets)
,.I~iiim SlilS

Learn what it's all
about with Torah on
Tap at 7:30 p.m. at
Mellow Mushroom.
Spend a night in
Israel (or pretend
at the Hillel) with
open mic night, an
Israeli BBQ, hukkah,
music, and more
starting at 8 p.m.
in the Hillel living


The"Let's Go
Downtown" series
presents "A Leadon
Family Spectacu--
lar"with bluegrass
and the like, in the
Plaza at 8 p.m.
Show your sophis-
ticated side and go
see the Miami City
Ballet, at the Phillips
Center at 7:30 p.m.
($10 student ticket)

Shabbat Services
and free dinner at
7:15 p.m. at the

- 11-


Learn to knit like a
champ in the Hillel
Living Room with
Allison at 8:30 p.m.

ke your laptop to tne
)r, or to the Reitz Union
nnade between 10 a.m.
3 p.m. to receive free
vare, games, virus pro-
ion, music, and more!

Go for something
different, hear the
Percussions sing
the music of U2 at
the Philips Center
at 7:30 p.m. ($10
student ticket)
Rock out to
Tom Petty and the
Heartbreakers in
the O'Dome
at 7:15 p.m.

22 E1

The latest trend: go
see the Stein Mart
& Dignity U Wear
fashion show at
Savannah Grand at
11:30 a.m. ($25 tick-
ets benefit Children's
Home Society)
.Erev Rosh Hashana,
cpresvirp at RPit7 for I

Take the Gator
Plunge! Visit the
Plaza of the
Americas at 8 a.m.
to learn how to get
involved in your
Take a road trip to
see the Gators beat

Bring your pup to
Westside Park at 8
a.m. for the
25th annual
Days a




23 e
Rosh Hashana:
Conservative ser-
vices at Reitz at 9:30
a.m., free lunch at
Hillel at 1:30 p.m.,
Tashlich at the Duck
Pond at 4 p.m., Sep-
hardic services at
Hillel at 9:30 a.m.

Cheeron the
all denominations, Gators when they play
free dinner at the Kentuckyin the Swamp
Hillel at 8:30 p.m.th a

'Special Sephardic Autumnal Equinox
Traditional Minyan .(a.k.a. the first day
and free meal at of autumn)
Hillel at 6 p.m.

The Gators romped UCF 42-0 this past
Saturday night. UCF (1-1) were embarrassed
in front of over 90,000 fans. Chris Leak had a
career high of 352 yards and 4 touchdowns.
The Gator record now is 2-0....GO Gators! A
full recap of the action can be found at http://

Sep. 24: Rosh Hashana

Sep. 25 26:Find something to do?

Sep. 27: The Tao of Judaism at 6 p.m. at the Hillel
Scrapbooking in the Hillel living room at 7:30 p.m.
Learn to Knit and join the Hillel Initting Circle
in the Living Room at Hillel at 8:30 p.m.

Sep. 28: Torah on Tap at 7 p.m.-at the Mellow Mushroom

Sep. 29: The 13th Annual Charity Golf Classic to benefit
at the Haile Plantation Golf and Country Club

Sep. 30: Gator football vs. Alabama in the Swamp

t .h e s h p i e I

o r 9


Iln --. .-i


m -






Pagg 12 The Shpiel

If You Don't Know,

Now You Know
By Derek Bernstein
y now you might think you're the
Greatest Gator fan ever, but let min
S e-- tell you that just because you've been it,
The Swamp and yelled with 90,000 fairs
doesn't mean you know anything e, cin- it
you're the kind of person who does the mtnst
heinous things it is possible to do at a Gate- |
Same. Let me help you out; I've got a li st of
Rules that will make you not only wis, r blt '
a better "Rowdy Reptile"
Rule # 1. Do not start the wave IIm lwe
first quarter. For God's sake, I don't care A

throw my $11 nachos on your head. Trust me, I can throw a football r
those mountains.
Rule # 2. Wear orange or blue, period! I know you got that cool
white T-shirt with Albert on a surfboard, but the thing is, when the gan e
starts and Mr. Orange and Blue starts his chant, I don't hear him say.
"Now give me the big White, White, White. White, White." There's ia t
reason the Gators are Orange and Blue. I don't care that your mom bought
it for you for Hannukah keep it in the closet till baseball season when
nobody cares.
Rule #3. Get loud! Why did we win all of our games at home last season and lose
three on the road? Three words, "home field advantage." EA sports lists "The Swamp"
as the hardest place to play for a visiting team, and the only way to keep this up is if you
wake up on Sunday mornings with a sore throat. Yell till you're light in the head. I once
yelled so loud I lost my voice for a week. Keep on yelling.
Rule #4. I know I told you to yell until you need a Halls lozenge, but please shut
up when we are on offense. We yell to mess up their offense, not ours. When it's third
and one in the fourth quarter I beg you to please shut your mouth.
Rule #5. Learn the chants. Oh ya, you'll learn "Gator bait" mighty fast and "Jaws"
is pretty simple. But I'm talking about the fight song and "We are the Boys." Nothing
maktfyour best friend from FSU madder then you singing ridiculous Gator songs while
we are beating the Noles.



Rule # 6. This might be the most important rule of all. Don't get too wasted before
the games. I know good ol' "Weekend at Bernie Machen" will be happy I'm telling you
this, but listen up. Nothing's worse than starting to drink at 8 a.m. for a 7 p.m. game.
You will either fall asleep at the tailgating site and never make the game or spend the
whole time at the game waiting in the ridiculous women's restrooms lines. All I ask is
that you wait till the end of the game to hit up University Avenue where the beer and the
bathrooms are plentiful.
Final Rule. It is your responsibility, no, your job, to make any fan of another team
feel like crap while in Gainesville. I don't care if they drove from Kentucky in their sta-
tion wagon with eight kids. I'm not saying go kill someone, but make them cry as you
tell them how terrible their team is. Remember, you are a Gator, and if you're not you're
Gator Bait!"
Now you're educated, get out there and enjoy the best thing about being a
Gator football.

By Leo Stein
E ven that great jazz man Miles Davis hated the word "jazz."
Yet for a fusion of free-range creativity and technical brilliance, you can't beat great jazz. What's up? For Davis, the very
diversity of jazz, with genres ranging from Boogaloo to Indian Fusion to corny Smooth Jazz, made it impossible for one word to
meaningfully describe that breadth. Hate the word, but don't hate jazz just because you didn't like the bits you heard.
Any good party, studying session, or romantic occasion could use an atmosphere more profound than repetitive bass thump-
ing and hollering. When you pop in Charles Mingus on his finest record, Mingus Ah Um, listen to the.solos when the whole
band stops and all you hear are brushes of upright bass moving to
the chilled breath of the song's melody. Play anything from John THE GRIEAT CIIILLERS:
Coltrane's popular Blue Train and you'll feel the rain outside as if M N GL
you've just come back from a wild party. Technically termed Post-Bop CHARLIE HUNTER JOHN COLTRANE
Free Form, I'm going to call this type of jazz Chill Night Music the BiL, EVANS MILES DAVIS BILLIE HOLIDAY
music best played for lounging or insomnia. WES MONTGOMERY BEN WEBSTER
Thelonius Monk makes a piano hum for you. Bill Evans makes CHARLES MINGUS DAVE HOLLAND
you feel you had too. much to drink, while Billie Holiday's painfully
warm voice plays your nostalgia. And sure, even Miles takes a hesitant trumpet and turns it into the cool night air you breathe.
This kind of music chills you out and puts "cool" back into our moving vegiacular. These legends mold the environment
around you into a bluesy, no-stress area. There's nothing electronically-manipulated to feign their talent; nothing loud or over-the-
top. With Chill Night Jazz, it's simply a matter of absorbing a good piece of company with mighty fine rhythm.

-t h e s h p i e 1


o r g