The Balduin Library
ANNIE AT THE COTTAGE. Page2'
HEAD OR THE HEART.
CATHERINE D. BELL.
Knowledge puffeth up, but charity edifieth." 1 Cor. viii. 1.
PUBLISHED BY THE
AMERICAN TRACT SOCIETY,
164 TREMONT STREET, BOSTON.
I. THE HEYWOOD SCHOOL. 5
II. THE EXAMINATION 12
III. JANE'S COTTAGE IN DEEP LANE 25
IV. How JANE HAD LIVED IN LONDON 33
V. JANE IN THE COUNTRY 45
THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
THE HEYWOOD SCHOOL.
THE little parish school of Heywood was
in great excitement. The clergyman, Mr.
Adams, had announced his intention of ex-
amining the scholars in the Bible and Cate-
chism; and the children of the bookseller,
Mr. Blake, had great "news to tell of the
dozen or more of handsome Bibles and Tes-
taments which their father had got from Lon-
don for Mr. Adams, and which were to be
all given away in prizes to the best scholars.
The Bible that is for the highest prize,"
Nelly Blake cried, "is the very handsomest
father ever had in his shop. You never saw
such a beauty!"
6 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
"I wonder who will get it !" cried several
Oh, Annie Scott, of course," Nelly said.
And Annie Scott, of course," sounded
from every side. "No one has a chance
against Annie Scott."
Annie Scott, a girl between thirteen and
fourteen, sitting at the head of the highest
class, tried to look as if she did not hear;
but she could not help drawing up her head,
could not keep her eyes from dancing, her lips
from smiling, as she felt confident that they
were right, and that she was indeed pretty
sure of the highest prize. She was, perhaps,
the youngest girl in her class, and yet she
kept her place at the head with perfect ease
and great regularity. If she lost it for a
day, or even half a day, it was counted quite
an extraordinary event in the school, and
talked about for perhaps a day or two after-
Wards. She was well accustomed to being
looked up to, to hearing the other scholars
THE HEYWOOD SCHOOL. 7
say that she was sure to do best. In the
half-yearly examinations, or in chance visits
of strangers to the school, she was quite ac-
customed to have all the difficult questions
brought back to her. She knew and under-
stood perfectly the look of relief which came
over the master's face, when he turned to
her after having been fretted and worried by
the stupidity of the others, and was well ac-
customed to hear him say, Come, Annie,
you can answer that, I know, if no one else
There were many reasons for Annie's
superiority to the others. She was a very
bright child, with an excellent memory. She
learned quickly, and remembered easily, and
she had, besides, more time to give to her
lessons than any other girl in the school.
Mrs. Scott had only two little boys besides
Annie; and an orphan niece of her hus-
band's, a smart, active girl of eighteen, who
lived with them, gave her so much help in
8 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
her household work, that Annie was called
upon to do very little. Annie was very fond
of praise, and so eager to be first in every
thing, that she made good use of the leisure
thus given her, and spared no pains to learn
her lessons perfectly, and grudged no trouble,
so that she could be sure of surpassing her
companions, and keeping her place at the
head of her class.
As regarded Bible knowledge in particu-
lar, she had a great advantage over all the
others. Her father and mother were un-
commonly pious people, and took more pains
in teaching their children than perhaps any
parent in the place. 'Thus it was less Annie's
merit than her happiness that she was so far
before her companions, although she herself
did not think so. She prided herself greatly
upon her superiority, and was apt to look
with contempt upon every one who was in-
ferior to her.
There is big Jane coming," said one of
THE IIEYWOOD SCHOOL. 9
the girls, looking out of the window; I
wonder how she will get on."
Get on, indeed! cried Annie, with a
toss of her head. Why, she will never
get on at all. There never was such a fool.
She knows nothing. She is a perfect dis-
grace to the school. I wonder Mr. Jones
did not tell her to stay away to-day."
The disgrace to the school entered as
Annie spoke. She was a tall, awkward-
looking girl, about fifteen, who came in with
a shy, frightened air, and sat down in the
lowest class, among little ones of five or six
years old. No one knew much about Jane
Thorn--" big Jane," as the school-girls
called her. She had come to the school
about three weeks before this; had paid
for a month's schooling, and asked timidly
to be admitted into the class where the A B
C was taught. Before this, no one had ever
seen her about the village. For these three
weeks she had attended schoDl regularly,
10 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
was very diligent and attentive, and had
made very rapid progress in learning to read;
but she had made no friends nor acquaint-
ance among the girls. She always came in
time for the master, but only in time, not
half an hour before, as most of them did, to
enjoy a gossip in the school-room, or a game
in the yard; and the moment school was
over, she hastened away to the poor little
cottage in the outskirts of the village, where
she lived with an old woman whom she
called mother. The cottage stood by itself
in a lane that was little used, so that there
was no one to watch the strangers, to find
out what they did or how they lived; and,
indeed, they had been there some little time
before any one, except the master of the
shop where they bought their provisions,
knew of their existence.
In the ordinary arrangements of the
school the oldest and youngest classes were
far apart, but on this day, when the whole
THE HEYWOOD SCHOOL. 11
school was formed into one circle, they
were brought together. Only a few schol-
ars separated Annie Scott from Jane; and
Annie, casting scornful glances at the tall,
awkward girl, drew up her head higher
than ever, and smiled to herself in great
contentment, as she thought of the contrast
that there would be between them when they
came to answer questions. In her exalta-
tion she might have expressed her feelings
too plainly, and made remarks which would
reach the other's ears, and vex her a good
deal; but, as usual, Jane had not come at
all too soon, and was closely followed by
Mr. Adams and Mr. Jones.
THE examination by Mr. Adams was the
sole business of the day, and he began imme-
diately after opening the school by prayer.
At first .he examined only upon very well
known parts of Scripture history and biog-
raphy, and his questions were so easy that
even the little ones could answer them with-
out hesitation. Only poor big Jane was at
fault. Each time the question came round
to her, she was obliged to let it pass un-
answered, although, after her first failure,
Mr. Adams chose subjects upon which he
supposed it impossible she could be ignorant.
He evidently did not know what to make of
her. Seeing her among the little ones, he
might have supposed that she was wanting in
THE EXAMINATION. 13
ntellect, utterly stupid, or obstinately sullen,
nad it not been for the eager interest with
which she listened to the different questions
and answers as they passed round the school,
and her gentle, respectful manner of uttering
her one sad answer, Please, sir, I don't
know." At the second or third time of her
failing, as Mr. Jones saw the clergyman
pause, and look keenly at the poor girl, he
stepped forward to make excuses for her.
She is a good and very diligent girl," he
said, kindly ; but she is only beginning to
learn. You said, Jane, that you had never
been able to go to school before, did you
not ? "
Yes, sir; I never was at school before,"
she said, in a low, timid voice, and giving
Mr. Jones a glance of. earnest gratitude for
his kind consideration of her feelings.
Mr. Adams caught the look, and was
struck by it, it was so full of feeling. He
felt a strong interest in the girl, and was
14 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
very sorry for her, thus forced to expose her
ignorance before children so much younger,
and yet so much better informed than her-
If you don't know any thing about these
subjects upon which I have questioned you,
my dear child," he said, gently, can you
tell me any thing you do know about, and I
shall examine you upon it."
She looked quickly up at him with her
serious eyes, so full of meaning, hesitated a
moment, then gathering courage from his
kind looks, she answered, in a low voice, and
casting her eyes again to the ground, -
"I know that I am a sinner, and- that
Christ died for sinners."
The answer was so unexpected, and given
with so much feeling, that every one was
struck by it. Mr. Adams was greatly
God be thanked, my child," he said,
solemnly, laying his hand upon her head,
THE EXAMINATION. 15
" that he has taught you to know so much."
He said no more then; but when he came
back to her, after going again round the
school, leaving the Old Testament history
with which he had been engaged, he asked
her in those same kind, encouraging tones,-
And can you tell me, my child, who the
Lord Jesus Christ is ?"
"He is God, sir," she answered, rever-
ently. One with God equal to God."
And how, or why did he die for sin-
ners ? "
She again raised her eyes to his, and with
an earnestness of feeling which made her
voice low and tremulous, she replied, -
"He died for us, because we had by our
great sinfulness deserved to die, and God was
angry with us for our sins. Christ became a
man like us, that he might bear the punish-
ment which we had deserved, and it was
all poured out upon him, so that there might
be nothing left to us."
16 THE HEAD OR THE IEART.
"And God forgives us for Christ's sake ?"
He more than forgives us," she cried in
her great eagerness, forgetting that there
were so many to hear her; "he counts our
sins to Christ, and Christ's holiness to us,
and loves us as he loves Christ." The
last words were spoken with a burst of
tears. Her heart overflowed as she thought
and spoke of the glorious truth. She cov-
ered her face with her hands, and tried to
hide how much she felt.
Both Mr. Adams and Mr. Jones felt tears
rise to their own eyes. The child's com-
plete ignorance on every other point seemed
to render more touching her full understand-
ing of these. They felt half inclined to envy
her the depth, the freshness of feeling which
she :,ii.-: ''.1. and both rejoiced greatly in this
manifest token of God's having himself
taught her, himself dealt with her soul.
After a moment's pause Mr. Adams left her,
THE EXAMINATION. 17
and went on again with the regular examina-
tion. After a few more questions on Bible
history, he took the Catechism and examined
the children in it. The elder class answered,
upon the whole, very well; Annie Scott per-
fectly, without a single mistake. Some of
the younger scholars failed in the exact
words; but the greater part showed such a
knowledge of the meaning of the answers to
all the questions, as was very delightful to
Mr. Adams, and greatly to the credit of their
parents and teacher.
To Jane the Catechism was still more an
unknown book than the Bible. But now
that he knew how matters were with her, he
was careful not to expose her ignorance.
When he did ask her a question, it was more
with the manner of a friend anxious to
know what he could teach her, than of a
master trying to find out whether or not she
had learned her lesson properly. All the chil-
dren were conscious that he spoke to Jane
18 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
more tenderly than to them, and even, as it
seemed, with a kind of respect. But Annie
Scott was the only one who was offended by
this. She felt as if Jane was depriving her
of what was her own right, as if the inter-
est which Jane had awakened, both in Mr.
Adams and Mr. Jones, ought rather to have
been excited by her own perfect ready an-
swering of every question. And even at the
moment when tile '.-.nuild Bible for the
best scholar was put into her hands, half its
charm was taken away, as she heard Mr.
Adams say to Jane,-
S" These prizes must all be given to those
who have showed most knowledge of the
Bible and Catechism, because for such they
were got. But so soon as you can read, come
to me, and I promise you that you shall not
be left a single day without the book you can
so well prize, so well use."
Indeed, I think it is very ridiculous, and
quite unfair of Mr. Adams to make such an
TIHE EXAMINATION. 19
ado with her," Annie cried, as she and her
young companions discussed the matter on
their way home. "She does not know as
much as the youngest child in the school."
I should think she does not, indeed," said
one. She did not even know the name of
"Nor Jacob's father," cried a third; and
they laughed together over the recollection of
poor Jane's failures.
"And then to see Mr. Jones and Mr.
Adams make .so much of her," pursued
Annie; "I declare it was too bad. Much
encouragement there is to us to take pains to
learn, and all that, if she' is to get as much
praise as we do "
A hand laid upon her shoulder checked
her indignant words; she turned round and
saw Mr. Adams behind her. It was evident
from his grave looks that he had overheard
what she had said.
My dear child," he said, seriously, do
20 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
you mean to say that youread your Bible,
and take pains to learn its history and doc-
trines only for the sake of being praised, or
made much of, as you call it ?"
"No, sir, no," she answered, much vexed
Or do you mean to say," he pursued,
"that when God, in his great goodness, has
placed you where you are carefully taught
to know his precious truths, the blessing is
greater in your eyes, because you know of
one who does not share it with you? Do
you rejoice more in your own knowledge of
the Scripture because Jane is ignorant ? "
"No, sir, I did not mean that," she said.
What, then, did you mean ? he asked
Annie looked at her companions, as if to
seek help, in answering, from them; but
they, awed by the gravity of Mr. Adams's
manner, were glad to draw back, and to leave
her to make the best of it. Mr. Adams stood
THE EXAMINATION. 21
still, evidently determined to have an answer.
Annie colored, stammered, hesitated, and at
last came out very bluntly with the truth, -
S"It was only that I that we thought it
was not fair to make so much of her who
knew nothing, as of--of"-
Of you who know so much," he con-
Of any of us, sir," she said more boldly.
" We all knew much more than she did.
We all answered much better."
Whose knowledge was of the most value,
do you think ?" he asked.
She did not answer-she did not under-
stand him. Jane, she thought, had no
knowledge worth speaking about. IHe con-
tinued very earnestly, and with a grave kind-
You can easily tell me the name of
Adam's wife, of Jacob's father, and a great
many more facts of the same kind; but could
you say, not with the lips or from the mind
22 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
merely, but from the heart, I know that I
am a sinner,' as Jane did? No doubt you
know much more of Scripture history than
she does; but do you know as well as Jane
does, what the holy God thinks of sin, what
a grievous and hateful thing it is in his
Annie tried to assert boldly that- she did;
but there was something in Mr. Adams's look,
in the solemnity of his manner, that checked
her, she knew not why. She could neither
meet nor avoid his searching gaze. She felt
uncomfortable, and wished that he would pass
on, and leave her alone. After a minute's
pause, to see if she meant to answer, he went
I am much interested in Jane, because I
think that in her I can see very strong proofs
that she is a child of my Father in heaven.
But, my dear child, my dear children, believe
me, my whole heart is also interested in you,
of whom I have, as yet, no reason to know
THE EXAMINATION. 23
whether you are God's children or not. It
would have made me and Mr. Jones more
happy than you can imagine, could we have
believed that every one of you possessed that
precious knowledge which God has given to
Jane -even the knowledge that she is a lost
sinner in God's sight, and that Christ has
died to save her."
There were again a few moments of silence.
The children did not know what to say,
and Mr. Adams was unwilling to say too
much at that time. He walked on a few
steps with them, and asked after the sick
father of one of the girls; the- baby brother
of another, and finally whether any of them
could tell him where Jane lived.
In Deep Lane," said two or three voices.
He considered for a moment, and looked at
"I have not time to go so far," he said,
" I have an appointment. Do any of you
pass near her house ?"
24 THE HEAD OR THE HEART,
"r do," said Annie Scott, very glad to be
able to speak freely again. "I pass the end
of the lane, and can take a message if you
He thanked her with all the pleasant cour-
tesy of manner natural to him, and asked her
to tell Jane that he should like to see her at
his house that evening at six o'clock. Annie
promised to deliver the message, and went
up Deep Lane to do so before going home.
JANE'S COTTAGE IN DEEP LANE.
THE cottage looked very miserable. An-
nie glanced at the broken window, torn
thatch, stained walls, and round the wild,
rough garden, and contrasted them with her
father's tidy, comfortable house, and her
mother's beautiful, flourishing flowers and
"Poor Jane, this must be a dreary place
to live in," she thought, as she knocked at
the door. Jane opened it, and smiled very
pleasantly when she saw who had knocked.
She asked Annie to come into tile kitchen.
It was a very poor-looking place. The plas-
tering was broken, and either hung in patches
away from the walls, or had fallen down al-
together, and left the lath lare and miserable-
26 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
looking. There was very little furniture in
the room, -a small bed, a table, a stool, an
arm-chair on one side of the fireplace, and
in it sat an old woman, cowering over the
small fire. She looked sharply round when
Annie came in, and showed a withered, very
cross, disagreeable countenance.
Who is that? And what 'does she
want? she asked, frowning at Annie.
It is Annie Scott, mother," said Jane.
"I told you about Annie, and about the
beautiful Bible she got. You have got it
with you," she added, looking at it admir-
ingly, but without the least envy. Annie
held it out to her. Jane took it and showed
it to the old woman.
Look what a beauty, mother. And it
is the Bible, too, God's Word."
I don't care what it is. I don't want to
see it," cried the old woman, angrily. If
it were yours, and we could sell it to buy
meat and drink, it would be something
JANE'S COTTAGE IN DEEP LANE. 27
worth talking about; but I don't care for it,
since we can't sell it."
Jane's face had been very bright and
pleasant all this'time; but now a cloud pass-
ed over it, and, with a deep sigh, she gave
Annie back her Bible. Annie saw the
change of expression and heard the sigh.
She fancied that Jane was sorry she could
not sell the .pretty Bible to get money for
food, and, being really a kind-hearted girl,
she felt great pity for both other and
daughter. They must," she thought, be
very poor to be living in such a miserable
house, anid to stand in such great need of
money as to wish to have my Bible only for
the purpose of selling it." Annie was not
much accustomed to see very poor people.
No one in Heywood was very rich, but
neither was any one in absolute want. And
perhaps she felt all the more sorry for Jane
and her mother, because she had hardly ever
before known any one who seemed in such
28 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
distress for want of money. The old woman
asking again very angrily what she wanted,
Annie gave her message hurriedly. Jane
looked greatly pleased.
Thank you for coming to tell me," she
said, heartily. I shall be so glad to go ; I
wished much to speak to him, but did not
like to go without being told."
"Do you know where Mr. Adams's house
is ? asked Annie.
Jane dicenot, but said she could find it
out. Annie offered to come and take her
Oh, thank you very much," said Jane
again, very gratefully. It is very kind of
you; you were very good to come to tell
me, before you had even taken home your
Bible to show it to them all."
Jane's gratitude was pleasant to Annie,
who liked to grant favors. She was begin-
ning to like Jane, and to forget all about the
jealousy she had felt for her. The two girls
JANE'S COTTAGE IN DEEP LANE. 29
went out together. Annie lingered after
saying good-bye, hesitated, and at last said,
Your mother seems to think that you
have not enough to -that you want money.
I have eighteen-pence of my own "
Oh, thank you very, very much," Jane
interrupted eagerly; but, indeed, we have
quite enough. We want for nothing. Only
I am all the same obliged to you."
But your mother seemed to think you
had not enough."
She might think it. She does think it.
But she does not know. She only fancies
things. She does not know any thing rightly
now. Her mind is quite gone. She is very
But you sighed too, and looked sorrow-
ful," Annie persisted, her compassion and
generosity increasing, the more unwilling
Jane seemed to be to profit by them.
Did I? If I did," she answered, look-
30 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
ing sorrowful again, "I suppose it was be-
cause poor mother did not care for God's
Word, and only thought of selling it."
"But how do you live? What do you
live upon? Annie asked, with a glance of
pity at the miserable house.
I can sew very quickly, and the shop
people say very well. Mr. Green, of the
big shop up there, gives me as many shirts
to make, and as much trimming to embroider,
as I can well manage to get done."
That is it How do you manage to get
any work done, and you at school all day? "
Oil!" Jane answered, cheerfully, there
are the mornings, and ever so many hours at
night; I get on famously. To be sure, when
this month is done, I have no money ready
for another at school just yet. But I can
keep on learning by myself for a little, now
I know the way; and when I sew all day
long, I'll soon-get enough for another month."
Annie still lingered, and seemed to have-
JANE'S COTTAGE IN DEEP LANE. 31
more to say. Jane stood at the door waiting
till she should say it. In the end it came
out very bluntly, -
Is that old woman your mother, Jane?
she looks so old."
No; my father and mother died of fever
in the same day, when I was only a week or
two old, I believe."
Your grandmother, then ?" Annie asked
No, I don't fancy she is any thing to me.
I don't certainly know how it was. I think
father and mother died in her house, and
she took care of me, because there was no
one else to do it. Any way, I have lived
with her ever since I can recollect."
She seems awfully cross and disagree
able," said Annie. I wonder how you can
live with her."
"She took care of me when I could not
take care of myself, and fed and clothed me
many a year. To be sure I must take care
32 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
of her now. I could not do any thing else,"
Jane said, simply.
But is not she awfully cross ? Annie
I don't mind that much. Oh! she
cried, with a sudden burst of tears, if she
would only love God, she might be a hun-
dred times crosser, I should not care;" and
she turned hastily into the house, unable to
Annie went home, eager to show her
Bible, but, perhaps, still more eager to tell
her mother about Jane. Mrs. Scott was a
very kind, motherly woman. She was much
interested in all Annie had to tell, and ad-
vised her to make a friend of Jane, and try
to help her as much as she could.
I could help her about her learning to
read," said Annie. I mean to offer to go
every afternoon, and give her a lesson, if
HOW JANE HAD LIVED IN LONDON.
.THE offer was made that evening; Jane
was very grateful, and accepted it eagerly.
The two girls had a pleasant walk to Mr.
Adams's house. Annie was greatly amused
by Jane's total ignorance of all country mat-
ters, and by the strange questions she asked
about every thing they saw.
"I never lived in the country before,"
Jane explained. "I have always lived in
In London !" Annie cried, with sudden "
respect for her new friend. Oh, how I
should like to see London There are such
beautiful things there, are there not ?"
I don't know. I suppose so," Jane an-
swered indifferently. "But I saw little of
34 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
them. I saw little of any thing but wicked-
ness and sorrow. Oh, such wickedness !"
"What kind of wickedness?" Annie
"All kinds. Lying, cheating, stealing,-
every thing. But it is bad enough to know
about it. I don't want to think -I don't
want to speak of it."
And in what kind of a place did you
live ? "
In many, many places," she answered in
a hurried way, as if she wished to forget all
about it. "Never long in one place, but
always in such dark, miserable holes. In
lanes, or in little courts, where the houses
were ever so high, and so close together, that
Sthe sun never got in to us, and we could
hardly see even a morsel of the sky. And
heaps upon heaps of people bad, cruel,
angry people -lived all together, and there
never was quiet, or peace, or any thing good."
She spoke with so much agitation that
HOW JANE HAD LIVED IN LONDON. 35
Annie's interest was strongly excited. She
was sorry to see how nearly they had reached
Mr. Adams's gate.
If you like, Jane," she said, I can wait
hereabouts for you till you come out; and if
you are not long, we shall have time to go
to that place in the wood where I told you
there were ever so many birds'-nests."
Jane was glad to think of seeing ever so
many birds'-nests,' and, as the shortened
school-time of that day had enabled her to
get well on with her work, she agreed to go.
Jane was not very long with Mr. Adams,
and came out with a countenance bright and
Oh, how very, very good God is to me! "
she cried, as soon as she had joined Annie.
" Mr. Adams has asked me to come to him
every Monday and Thursday evening, that
he may teach me many things I don't know
about God and his will; and I don't want
any thing in the world so much as that.
36 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
And a kind lady, whom he called his sister,
asked me about my work, and said that she
could get me work to do, and be able to pay
me better than the shop people; and she said,
too, that she should be glad to teach me to
read when you can not. And if I get good
pay, and have not the school to pay, or to be
so long time at it, I'll get on so well, and be
able to make mother quite as comfortable as
ever she was in the days I made most."
"Did you make more in London than
here ?" Annie asked, glad to come back to
the subject about which she was so curious.
" What did you do? How did you make
money there ? "
Ever since I can remember," Jane said,
the brightness going at once out of her face,
"I used to go out to beg all day long; at
first, when I was very little, I went with
mother, and then, as I got older, I went
"And did you, could you make so
JN' GIGITET E ET ,,
JANEEGGNG I TE STEE
JANE BEGGING IN THE STREET,
HOW JANE HAD LIVED IN LONDON. 31
much by begging ? Annie asked sur-
"By begging, telling all kinds of lies to
make people give, and often, often by steal-
ing, -' picking up little things,' as poor
mother called it," Jane said, drooping her
head under the shame and sorrow of the
But did not you know it was wrong ? "
"Not for a long time: there was no one
to teach me; but one day, a long while ago,
when I was still quite little, I begged from a
young lady who found out that I was telling
lies, and she said to me, 'Don't you know
that God is angry with you when you tell
lies ?' And I, poor miserable child, I
"asked her, 'Who is God?'"
Oh," cried Annie, shocked. Did not
"No," answered Jane, "I didn't know
who God was; think of that! I knew who
38 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
the police were, and that it was best to keep
from making them angry, but I knew noth-
ing at all about God, or about his anger
against sin. A crowd came past just after I
had asked the lady who God was, and she
was hurried away before she could answer;
but the look in her face, the sorrow, the fear,
as I thought, when I said the words, made
me think that God must be some very great
person, and that it must be very terrible to
make him angry. I asked everybody I knew
for many and many a day after that if they
knew God, but some said they didn't, and
some were angry and bade me hold my
tongue, and I never could meet my young
iady again to tell me."
And then did you forget about it? "
"No, I couldn't forget; a dreary feeling
always came over me when I thought of that
lady's frightened, sorrowful look, it was as
if she had seen some one going to kill me.
I wished so much to know God ; and I never
HOW JANE HAD LIVED IN LONDON. 39
could again tell lies, because she had said
that made him angry, and I did not know
but that he might be near me, and hear me,
and so I was afraid. Mother was very angry
because I would not tell lies, for I never got
much by ': ..-_ when I only told the truth;
and she used to try to make me, to beat me,
and let me go for a day at a time without
any thing to eat; and I was so unhappy, that
I often thought I'd do as she bade me; but
always when the time came I couldn't, I
was afraid. I did not know who God was,
or whether he heard me or not, and I never
could speak the lies when I thought that
maybe he did hear; and I could never steal
after that. I don't know that I could have
found out for myself that it was wrong to
tell lies, but whenever I thought about it, I
knew that it was wrong to steal. The things
were not mine, and I had no business with
them; I saw that, and was afraid to take
40 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
"And did your mother give up trying to
make you ? "
For a long, long time she didn't, or if
sometimes for a day or two she let me alone,
then a day would come when she wanted gin
very sorely, and she'd be harder than ever.
But after a long time a girl called Ellen came
to live in our house, and she proved to be a
great happiness to me."
Did she know God ?" Annie asked.
"No; but she was quiet and kind, and like
nobody I had ever been with before. I liked
to sit beside her whenever I could ; she had
been better off once, and had learned to sew
beautifully. I liked to see her needle go so
quickly out and in, and to watch the pretty
things she made. Once she had made a
great deal of money by the trimmings and
collars and sleeves that she sewed; but
when she came to us she was ill and weak,
and could not work long, and so she had got
poor, and that was why she had come to live
HOW JANE HAD LIVED IN LONDON. 41
in our miserable place. She taught me to sew
too; she took a great deal of pains to teach
me, and she said that I learned very quickly.
And so I was soon able to make a great deal,
and mother got to be better pleased with
Could you make more then than you had
done by begging ? "
Not than I had once done. When I was
very little they say I was pretty," Jane said,
looking down with a smile upon her long,
awkward limbs; "and when I was sent out
in the cold and wet with very little upon me,
and told dismal stories, people were very
sorry, and often gave me a great deal. Even
when I got to sew well and quickly, I
couldn't make so much as that; but I made
a good deal, and poor mother got to be pretty
well content, and we went on happier to-
gether; but all the time poor Ellen was get-
ting worse, and very weak. Often she could
not go out about our work; I could take the
42 THE HEAD OR THE IIEART.
finished work to the shops, but I did not do
so well about taking orders, and Ellen al-
ways tried to go for that F....-i f. One day,
when she was very weak, she had gone, and
she had got so weary she could hardly walk.
Crossing the street she couldn't get fast
enough out of the way of a carriage, and she
was knocked down. She was not much hurt,
but only so shaken and frightened, that I
don't think she ever got the better of it; but
she always said that fall was the greatest bless-
ing of her life. The carriage was full of
ladies; they were so sorry that they got out
to see to her themselves ; they sent her home
in a cab, and one of them came that very
day to ask about her. I was with Ellen, and
oh Jane cried, interrupting herself, what
a blessing God sent us in that good lady "
Was she your lady who told you that
God would be angry with you ?" Annie
"No; but she must have been the same kind
HOW JANE HAD LIVED IN LONDON. 43
of lady, for so soon as she had asked about
Ellen's health, and about how she and I lived,
and had promised to send the things Ellen
wanted, and to get a doctor to see her, she
began to ask us about God. And when she
found that we knew nothing about him, she
came every day to teach us; and oh, what
she taught us She taught us who God is,
and what he is, how glorious and holy, and
hating sin with a holy and a great hatred.
She made us feel that we were terrible sin
ners in God's sight, and she told us what
Christ had done and suffered for miserable
sinners like us, for his enemies, for those
who despised and hated him. She told
as how he had left his glorious home in
heaven, and come down to this earth to be
made one of us, and been cold and hungry
and faint and weary, for our sakes, and been
spitted upon, and cruelly used by men whom
he came to save; and how he died upon the
cross for us, and how all our sins were count-
44 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
ed to him, and all the wrath and curse of
God for our sins was poured out upon him;
and how he was in an agony of soul for the
fearful weight of sins that was put upon him,
and that he was willing to bear it so that we
might go free; and how, when he cried out,
'It is finished,' then an end was made of our
sins for ever, and God cast them behind his
back, so that they could never more be found
or be brought up against us."
JANE IN THE COUNTRY.
JANE spoke so eagerly and with such in-
tense feeling that breath failed her, and she
was obliged to stop for a moment. Annie
looked curiously at her; she hardly under-
stood her. Never had she felt so much
about these things. Jane caught the look.
Oh, Annie Scott!" she cried, with great
feeling; "you have known these things all
your life; you can hardly think what it was
to us to hear them for the first time. Oh,
the day when she told us that all Christ's -
holiness was counted to us, and that God,
for Christ's sake, loved us even as he loved
Christ, I thought I could not stand it; I
cried it could not be true, it was too good
to be true! Then she read itout of the
46 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
book which she had told us was God's own
Word; she said that it was the blessed
Christ himself who had said it. Then we
knew that it must be true, only it was too
great, too grand, we could not take it in;
and Ellen said that for all her pain, and her
weary, weary days and nights, she'd like to
live ever so many years, that she might think
about it, and go over it again and again, and
get it into her heart. And when the lady
told her that she should think about it, and
learn about it for ever in heaven, she sat
right up in bed and clasped her hands above
her head, and cried out, Oh, and then I
shall have a bigger heart, and be able to
know more about it!' And ever from that
day she wished so much to get away, that
she might get a bigger heart, and be able to
love Christ, and to know how much he loved
"And did she soon go away ? "
She was not long after that. And, oh,
JANE IN THE COUNTRY. 47
God was so good that he allowed the laay to
stay in town and come to see us, till the very
day before Ellen died, and then she was
obliged to go away."
And you were left alone," Annie said,
I didn't feel alone. I always felt that
God was beside me after that. And though
I did want sorely to have some one to read
God's words to me, and to tell me more
about him, yet God taught me so many new
things and great things, out of what I had
heard, and made them all so real to me, that
I couldn't ask any thing more. I minded the
words that the lady had read, -how Christ
had promised that the Holy Ghost should
take of the things of Christ and show them
to us; and I felt that it was all true, glori-
ously true, for that he did it to me."
Didn't you go to church? You would
have learned more there," Annie said.
"I didn't know what church was," said
48 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
Jane. Once the lady advised me to go to
church; but I didn't know what she meant,
and hadn't time to ask. One day I passed a
church when they were singing, and I liked
the sound and went in; and, oh, what that
was to me! The prayers, the sermon, -I
can never forget them. The minister said
the text so often that I got it learned, and it
was my greatest comfort ever after. The
words were, He' that spared not*.his own
Son, but delivered him up for us all, how
shall he not with him also freely give us all
things.' You can't think how much these
words have been to me ever since."
"Did you never go back to hear more ?"
I went back and back, times and times;
but I knew nothing about churches. I did-
n't even know that it was on Sunday they
were open, and so I never got back at the
right time all the times I tried. We didn't
stay very long in London after that. I
couldn't bear to live with all those wicked
JANE IN THE COUNTRY. 49
people, and to see their wickedness, and to
hear it. They did not know a God to love,
but they knew a God to curse and blas-
pheme; and I couldn't stand it. I thought
sometimes it would kill me, most of all, when
poor mother had taken too much gin, and
cursed like the rest. And I kept begging
her to come away from that horrible place,
and praying to God to make her ready to go.
And God did make her ready. A woman
came up from the country to our place, ind
she told mother that it was much better to
live in the country, and that every thing
cost less money there; and so she was will-
ing, and we came away."
And why did you come here?" Annie
We wandered on, seeking a quiet place
where I might hope to get work, and came
here on a Sunday afternoon. I did not know
any thing about Sundays then, you know,"
she said, in answer to a look of wonder from
50 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
Annie. I didn't know but that we might
travel one day as well as another. When
we passed the church, the door was open,
and we went in; and when I heard Mr.
Adams preach, I thought that I should like
so very much to live where I could hear
him always. As we went through the town,
seeking a quiet, cheap place to sleep in, we
came to that cottage in the lane. A woman
lived there alone, who took us in for the
Oh, I remember," interrupted Annie;
"a Mrs. Grey, a soldier's wife, lived there
for a short time, and went away in a great
hurry to join her husband."
Yes," Jane went on. In the morning,
when I asked her about staying here, she
told me that she .had heard from her hus-
band on the Saturday that his regiment had
come back from foreign parts to England,
ani. that he wanted her to come to him.
She had paid a year's rent, and, as she was
JANE IN THE COUNTRY. 51
in a great hurry to get away, she said I
might have the house for the rest of the
year for only ten shillings."
And had you ten shillings ?" Annie
asked, looking down at Jane's poor, scanty
Yes; before we left London, I worked
very, very hard. I got a great deal sold
there, and had the money to bring, besides
several pieces of trimming to sell as we came
along. I took them to the better houses in
the ii l'.., and to the grand gentlemen's
places, and sold nearly all of them. They
were very much thought of. At first, I
asked the same price that the shop-people
gave me; but a lady told me that it was far
too little, and she changed all the prices for
me, making some of them twice or three
times more ; and I got the high prices quite
easily, and grew very rich. After I had
paid the ten shillings, and a little more for
an old bed, table, and stool, that ?Ih:. Grey
52 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
did not want to take with her, I had enough
to buy an old easy chair for mother, from a
man in the village, and a nice, soft cushion
for the back. I had still two pieces of trim-
ming, and I took them to Mr. Green, and
he bought them, and ordered more, and gave
me a dozen shirts to make, coarse shirts,
with little work, which I got done so quickly
you can not think. Then when I found
that I could keep mother comfortable, and
pay for a month's schooling too, I was so
glad. I did so want to learn to read God's
Word; and he made it so easy for me to
begin to learn. I think nobody in the world
is so well off, or has things go so well as I
have. I have every thing I want now."
Annie was silent. She thought of the
many blessings and comforts of her home,
and her conscience reminded her how often
she felt unhappy and discontented among
And do you get on at school as fast
JANE IN THE COUNTRY. 53
as you like?" she asked, after a minute or
In learning the spelling-book, Mr. Jones
says no one ever got on so fst before," Jane
said, modestly. I suppose it is because
God helps me so much. When I asked him,
I felt as if he would, and I am sure he does.
But there are some things that it is harder
to learn than I thought it would be."
"What things?" Annie asked.
"Why, you know, I never learned any
thing out of the Bible before. There are so
many things in it that I don't know, and
that even the very little ones know. And
so when Mr. Jones speaks to you, and ex-
plains the Bible, there are ever so many
things that I can't understand, and that he
thinks you all know about; and that makes
me sad and puzzled."
Why don't you ask people about them?"
I do ask Mr. Jones sometimes, and he is
very kind; but he is busy, and there are so
54 THE HEAD OR THE HEART,
But we, big girls, could have told you,
if you had asked us," Annie said, with an
air of superiority.
Yes, I knew that; but- but," she said,
hesitating, "you-none of you seemed to
Again Annie's conscience spoke loudly,
and reminded her how scornfully she had
behaved to poor Jane.
Ah! she cried, frankly, "we did not
behave at all well. I air very sorry. But
now, Jane, you can't be afraid to ask me."
"No, not now," Jane said, t.ill .;,
" you are very kind."
Her gratitude quickened Annie's remorse.
It was too bad of us," she said again.
" Didn't you feel that it was very bad, and
v.lry hard of us?"
I did feel that at first," Jane answered,
with a smile; and it was a kind of comfort
to keep saying to myself that you were very
unkind; but when Mr. Adams preached that
JANE IN THE COUNTRY. 55
Sunday about God's telling us not to be angry
with each other, I prayed to God to keep
me from thinking you unkind, and he did it
I have never thought much about it since
Again Annie was silent. Again she con-
trasted Jane's conduct with her own in simi-
lar cases, and, curiously, there came into her
mind the recollection that she had called this
girl a disgrace to the school. The girls had
talked so fast that they had gone the wrong
road, and found themselves coming back to
Deep Lane, without having seen the birds'
nests. Annie proposed that they should turn
again; but Jane, looking at the sunset, said
it was time she should be home to get her
mother's supper. She began to walk very
fast, as if afraid of being too late.
You need not be so particular about
such a cross old. patch. She can wait a
little, surely," said Annie.
"Why, you see," Jane answered, "I
56 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
can't give poor mother the only thing she
wants, and that is gin. I can't give it to
her, because it makes her wild, and she says
wicked things against God then. So, when
I can't give her gin, I must make every
thing else as nice as I can for her. It is all
I can do."
And that was why you bought an easy-
chair and a cushion for her, instead of a new
gown for yourself ? Annie asked.
Oh," Jane said, with a bright look, "I
was so glad to get it. You can't think how
happy I was when I saw her lie back so
comfortably in it, and heard her say that it
was so nice."
"But, Jane," Annie asked, "did you
never see your good lady again?"
"No; she was called out of London in
great haste, but she sent her maid to see me,
and to say that, if I liked, she would take me
to the country with her, and board me with
a good old woman, and send me to school."
JANE IN THE COUNTRY. 57
"And did you not like that?" Annie
asked, in great surprise.
"Like it! yes, I should think so," Jane
answered, smiling; "but you see I could
not go. I could not leave mother, now that
she can't work for herself. The lady once
told me that God had said, Love your
neighbors as yourself;'.and so I knew that
he must wish me to do every thing I possibly
could for her."
'" You are very good, Jane," burst from
Annie. All persons do not do what they
know God wishes them to do."
"Don't they?" Jane asked, standing still
to look more earnestly for an answer. "Ah!
I think they must. I know so little of what
God wishes me to do, that I am glad to do
that little the very best I can. 0 Annie,
what a joy it is to know of any thing that
God wishes me to do, when he loves me so
much. How can I help doing it with all my
58 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
They had reached the cottage, and Jane
went in at once. Annie looked after her,
and again the words, Disgrace to the
school," came back upon her mind.
How little I knew," she thought, "when
I said that. I wish I were like her."
She might have wished it more, could she
have followed Jane into the house, and
watched her patience and gentleness with
the poor, cross, old woman. She had been
so very cross that day that Jane fancied she
was missing her gin more than usual; and
the good, loving girl had bought an expen-
sive delicacy for her supper, resolving to live
upon dry bread for a day or two to make up
for it. She cooked the supper with the
greatest care, and coaxed the old woman to
eat it with beautiful kindness. And when
at last she got her into bed and asleep, and
had eaten her own poor supper with a thank-
ful heart, she fairly burst into tears of glad-
ness as she thought of all the mercies of that
JANE IN THE COUNTRY. 59
It was a memorable day to both Jane and
Annie. For Jane, it brought friends who
continued to love and help her through all
her life. And to Annie, it brought the great
blessing of making her feel, for the first time
in her life, the difference between knowing
God's will and doing it. For the rest of
that day, and for many days, her mind was
very busy about Jane and her story; and,
by God's blessing, the end of it was that
she gave herself no rest until she had learned
to know God, and to know herself, even as
~r ,.; h