• TABLE OF CONTENTS
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 Front Cover
 Frontispiece
 Title Page
 Alice's adventures in wonderla...
 Through the looking-glass
 Back Cover














Title: Alice's adventures in Wonderland and Through the looking-glass
CITATION PAGE TURNER PAGE IMAGE ZOOMABLE
Full Citation
STANDARD VIEW MARC VIEW
Permanent Link: http://ufdc.ufl.edu/UF00063835/00001
 Material Information
Title: Alice's adventures in Wonderland and Through the looking-glass
Alternate Title: Through the looking-glass
Physical Description: 192, 224, 12, 10 p. : ill. ; 19 cm.
Language: English
Creator: Carroll, Lewis, 1832-1898
Tenniel, John, 1820-1914 ( Illustrator )
Macmillan & Co ( Publisher )
Publisher: Macmillan and Co.
Place of Publication: New York
Publication Date: 1885
Edition: New ed in one volume.
 Subjects
Subject: Children -- Conduct of life -- Juvenile fiction   ( lcsh )
Conduct of life -- Juvenile fiction   ( lcsh )
Adventure and adventurers -- Juvenile fiction   ( lcsh )
Imagination -- Juvenile fiction   ( lcsh )
Dreams -- Juvenile fiction   ( lcsh )
Decision making -- Juvenile fiction   ( lcsh )
Innocence (Psychology) -- Juvenile fiction   ( lcsh )
Illusion (Philosophy) -- Juvenile fiction   ( lcsh )
Animals -- Juvenile fiction   ( lcsh )
Curiosity -- Juvenile fiction   ( lcsh )
Wit and humor, Juvenile   ( lcsh )
Fantasy literature -- 1885   ( rbgenr )
Publishers' catalogues -- 1885   ( rbgenr )
Bldn -- 1885
Genre: Fantasy literature   ( rbgenr )
Publishers' catalogues   ( rbgenr )
novel   ( marcgt )
Spatial Coverage: United States -- New York -- New York
 Notes
Statement of Responsibility: by Lewis Carroll ; with ninety-two illustrations by John Tenniel.
General Note: Publisher's catalogue follows text.
General Note: Illustrations engraved by Dalziel.
 Record Information
Bibliographic ID: UF00063835
Volume ID: VID00001
Source Institution: University of Florida
Rights Management: All rights reserved by the source institution and holding location.
Resource Identifier: aleph - 002223436
notis - ALG3685
oclc - 04727111

Table of Contents
    Front Cover
        Front Cover 1
        Front Cover 2
    Frontispiece
        Frontispiece
    Title Page
        Page 1
        Page 2
    Alice's adventures in wonderland
        Page 3
        Page 4
        Table of contents
            Page 5
            Page 6
        Introduction
            Page 7
            Page 8
        Down the rabbit-hole
            Page 9
            Page 10
            Page 11
            Page 12
            Page 13
            Page 14
            Page 15
        The pool of tears
            Page 16
            Page 17
            Page 18
            Page 19
            Page 20
            Page 21
            Page 22
        A caucus-race and a long tale
            Page 23
            Page 24
            Page 25
            Page 26
            Page 27
            Page 28
        The rabbit sends in a little bill
            Page 29
            Page 30
            Page 31
            Page 32
            Page 33
            Page 34
            Page 35
            Page 36
            Page 37
        Advice from a caterpillar
            Page 38
            Page 39
            Page 40
            Page 41
            Page 42
            Page 43
            Page 44
            Page 45
            Page 46
        Pig and pepper
            Page 47
            Page 48
            Page 49
            Page 50
            Page 51
            Page 52
            Page 53
            Page 54
            Page 55
        A mad tea-party
            Page 56
            Page 57
            Page 58
            Page 59
            Page 60
            Page 61
            Page 62
            Page 63
        The queen's croquet-ground
            Page 64
            Page 64a
            Page 65
            Page 66
            Page 67
            Page 68
            Page 69
            Page 70
            Page 71
            Page 72
        The mock turtle's story
            Page 73
            Page 74
            Page 75
            Page 76
            Page 77
            Page 78
            Page 79
            Page 80
        The lobster quadrille
            Page 81
            Page 82
            Page 83
            Page 84
            Page 85
            Page 86
            Page 87
        Who stole the tarts?
            Page 88
            Page 89
            Page 90
            Page 91
            Page 92
            Page 93
            Page 94
        Alice's evidence
            Page 95
            Page 96
            Page 97
            Page 98
            Page 99
            Page 100
            Page 101
            Page 102
    Through the looking-glass
        Page 103
        Page 104
        Introduction
            Page 105
            Page 106
        Looking-glass house
            Page 107
            Page 108
            Page 109
            Page 110
            Page 111
            Page 112
            Page 113
            Page 114
            Page 115
            Page 116
            Page 117
        The garden of live flowers
            Page 118
            Page 119
            Page 120
            Page 121
            Page 122
            Page 123
            Page 124
            Page 125
            Page 126
        Looking-glass insects
            Page 127
            Page 128
            Page 129
            Page 130
            Page 131
            Page 132
            Page 133
            Page 134
            Page 135
            Page 136
        Tweedledum and tweedledee
            Page 137
            Page 138
            Page 139
            Page 140
            Page 141
            Page 142
            Page 143
            Page 144
            Page 145
            Page 146
            Page 147
        Wool and water
            Page 148
            Page 149
            Page 150
            Page 151
            Page 152
            Page 153
            Page 154
            Page 155
            Page 156
            Page 157
            Page 158
        Humpty dumpty
            Page 159
            Page 160
            Page 161
            Page 162
            Page 163
            Page 164
            Page 165
            Page 166
            Page 167
            Page 168
            Page 169
        The lion and the unicorn
            Page 170
            Page 171
            Page 172
            Page 173
            Page 174
            Page 175
            Page 176
            Page 177
            Page 178
        "It's my own invention"
            Page 179
            Page 180
            Page 181
            Page 182
            Page 183
            Page 184
            Page 184a
            Page 185
            Page 186
            Page 187
            Page 188
            Page 189
            Page 190
        Queen Alice
            Page 191
            Page 192
            Page 193
            Page 194
            Page 195
            Page 196
            Page 197
            Page 198
            Page 199
            Page 200
            Page 201
            Page 202
            Page 203
            Page 204
        Shaking
            Page 205
        Waking
            Page 205
        Which dreamed it?
            Page 206
            Page 206a
            Page 207
            Page 208
    Back Cover
        Back Cover 1
        Back Cover 2
Full Text











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ALICE'S ADVENTURES
IN

WONDERLAND,

AND


THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS



BY
LEWIS CARROLL


WITH NINETY-TWO ILLUSTRATIONS
BY
JOHN TENNIEL


NEW EDITION IN ONE


VOL UME


BOSTON
LOTHROP PUBLISHING COMPANY












































COPYRIGHT, 1898,
BY
LOTHROP PUBLISHING COMPANY.


-iW .


-4,.
























IN WONDERLAND.


, t:
4 .


ALICE'S


ADVENTURES






















CONTENTS.





ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.
PAGE
CHAPTER I.
DOWN THE RABBIT-HOLE ... . ... .... . 9

.CHAPTER II.
THE POOL OF TEARS .. . . * 16

CHAPTER III.
A CAUCUS-RACE AND A LONG TALE . . . . 23

CHAPTER IV.
THE RABBIT SENDS IN A LITTLE BILL. . . . . 29
CHAPTER V.
ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR . . .* * 38

CHAPTER VI.
PIG AND PEPPER . . * * 47

CHAPTER VII.
A MAD TEA-PARTY ... . . .. 56

CHAPTER VIII.
THE QUEEN'S CROQUET-GROUND .... .... . * 64

CHAPTER IX.
THE MOCK TURTLE'S STORY .. . . * *. .. 73

CHAPTER X.
THE LOBSTER QUADRILLE . . . .. . 81

CHAPTER XI.
WHO STOLE THE TARTS ? .. . . * * 88

CHAPTER XII.
ALICE'S EVIDENCE ... . * * 95
5











CONTENTS.



THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS.


CHAPTER I.


LOOKING-GLASS HOUSE .



THE GARDEN OF LIVE FLOWERS .



LOOKING-GLASS INSECTS .



TWEEDLEDUM AND TWEEDLEDEE .



WOOL AND WATER .....



HUMPTY DUMPTY . ..



THE LION AND THE UNICORN .



"IT'S MY OWN INVENTION" .



QUEEN ALICE .......



SHAKING . .



WAKING ... . .



WHICH DREAMED IT? ....


. . . . 107

CHAPTER II.
. . . . 118

CHAPTER III.
. . . . 127

CHAPTER IV.
. . . 137

CHAPTER V.
. .. . . 148

CHAPTER VI.
. . . . 159

CHAPTER VII.
. . . . 170

CHAPTER VIII.
. . . . 179

CHAPTER IX.
. . . . . 191

CHAPTER X.
. . . . 205

CHAPTER XI.
. . . 205

CHAPTER XII.
. . . .206


PAGE



















INTRODUCTION.



ALL in the golden afternoon
Full leisurely we glide;
For both our oars, with little skill,
By little arms are plied,
While little hands make vain pretence
Our wanderings to guide.

Ah, cruel Three! In such an hour,
Beneath such dreamy weather,
To beg a tale, of breath too weak
To stir the tiniest feather!
Yet what can one poor voice avail
Against three tongues together?

Imperious Prima flashes forth
Her edict to "begin .it"-
In gentler tone Secunda hopes
"There will be nonsense in it" -
While Tertia interrupts the tale
Not more than once a minute.

Anon, to sudden silence won,
In fancy they pursue
The dream-child moving through a land
Of wonders wild and new,
In friendly chat with bird or beast-
And half believe it true.

And ever, as the story drained
The wells of fancy dry,
And faintly strove that weary one
To put the subject by,
"The rest next time"-- "It is next time!"
The happy voices cry.









INTRODUCTION.


Thus grew the tale of Wonderland:
Thus slowly, one by one,
Its quaint events were hammered out-
And now the tale is done,
Andhome we steer, a merry crew,
Beneath the setting sun.

Alice, a childish story take,
And with a gentle hand
Lay it where childhood's dreams are twined,
In memory's mystic band,
Like pilgrim's withered wreath of flowers
Plucked in a far-off land.




"ALICE IN WONDERLAND" and "THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS" were written for a
real live Alice. Her name was Alice Liddell, and her father was a college professor; another
college professor, whose name was Charles Lutwidge Dodgson, was teacher of mathematics in
the same college the University of Oxford, in England. He wrote these wonder-stories
about Alice for Alice under the name of Lewis Carroll," and that is the name by which he is
known to the million and more children who have read his delightful accounts of Alice's mar-
vellous adventures.
Professor Dodgson died on the fourteenth of January, 1898, an old man of sixty-six; but
his story of Alice will never die. When you read it you will know why.
















ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.



CHAPTER I.

DOWN THE RABBIT-HOLE.

ALICE was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on
the bank, and of having nothing to do; once or twice she had peeped
into the book her sister was reading,
but it had no pictures or conversations
in it, and what is the use of a book,"
thought Alice, "without pictures or con-
versations ?"
,,111. So she was considering in her own
111'"A'1 mind (as well as she could, for the hot
day made her feel very sleepy and stu-
pid) whether the pleasure of making a
daisy-chain would be worth the trouble
of getting up and picking the daisies,
when suddenly a white rabbit with pink
eyes ran close by her.
There was nothing so very remarka-
ble in that; nor did Alide think it so
THE RABBIT LOOKED AT HIS WATCH. very much out of the way to hear-the
Rabbit say to itself, "Oh, dear! Oh, dear! I shall be too late!''
(When she thought it over afterward, it occurred to her that she
ought to -have wondered at this, but at the time it all seemed quite








ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.


natural); but when the Rabbit actually took a watch out of its waist-
coat-pocket, and looked at it, and then hurried on, Alice started to her
feet; for it flashed across her mind that she had never before seen
a Rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket or a watch to take out of it,
and, burning with curiosity, she ran across the field after it, and was
just in time to see it pop down a large rabbit-hole under the hedge.
In another moment down went Alice after it, never once consid-
ering how in the world she was to get out again.
The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way, and
then dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a moment
to think about stopping herself, before she found herself falling down
what seemed to be a very deep well.
Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly; for she had
plenty of time as she. went down to look about her, and to wonder
what was going to happen next. First, she tried to look down and
make out what she was coming to, but it was too dark to see anything;
then she looked at the sides of the well, and noticed that they were
filled with cupboards and bookshelves: here and there she saw maps
and pictures hung upon pegs. She took down a jar from one of the
shelves as she passed; it was labelled "ORANGE MARMALADE,"
but to her great disappointment it was empty; she did not like to
drop the jar for fear of killing somebody underneath, so managed
to put it into one of the cupboards as she fell past it.
"Well," thought Alice to herself, after such a fall as this, I
shall think nothing of tumbling down-stairs. How brave they'll all
think me at home! Why, I wouldn't say anything about it, even if I
fell off the top of the house." (Which was very likely true.)
Down, down, down. Would the fall never come to an end? "I
wonder how many miles I've fallen by this time?"' she said aloud.
" I must be getting somewhere near the centre of the earth. Let
me see, that would be four thousand miles down, I think" (for, you
see, Alice had learned several things of this sort in her lessons in
the schoolroom; and though this was not a very good opportunity


~-------







DOWN THE RABBIT-HOLE.


for showing off her knowledge, as there was no one to listen to her,
still it was good practice to say it over) ; "yes, that's about the right
distance-but then I wonder what latitude or longitude I've got to?"
(Alice had not the slightest idea what latitude was or longitude either,
but she thought they were nice grand words to say.)
Presently she began again. I wonder if I shall fall right through
the earth! How funny it'll seem to come out among the people
that walk with their heads downward! The Antipathies, I think"
(she was rather glad there was no one listening this time, as it
didn't sound at all the right word); "but I shall have to ask them
what the name of the country is, you know. Please, ma'am, is this
New Zealand or Australia ?" (And she tried to courtesy as she spoke
fancy courtesying as you're falling through the air! Do you think
you could manage it?) "And what an ignorant little girl she'll
think me for asking No, it'll never do to ask; perhaps I shall see
it written up somewhere."
Down, down, down. There was nothing else to do, so Alice soon
began talking again. "Dinah'll miss me very much to-night, I should
think! (Dinah was the cat.) "I hope they'll remember her saucer
of milk at tea-time. Dinah, my dear! I wish you were down here
with me! There are no mice in the air, I'm afraid, but you might
catch a bat, and that's very like a mouse, you know. But do cats
eat bats, I wonder?" And here Alice began to get rather sleepy,
and went on saying to herself, in a dreamy sort of way, Do cats
eat bats? .Do cats eat bats?" and sometimes, "Do bats eat cats?"
for, you see, as she couldn't answer either question, it didn't much
matter which way she put it. She felt that she was dozing off, and had
just begun to dream that she was walking hand in hand with Dinah,
and was saying to her very earnestly, Now, Dinah, tell me the truth;
did you ever eat a bat ?" when suddenly, thump! thump! down she
came upon a heap of sticks and dry leaves, and the fall was over.
Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up on to her feet in a
moment. She looked up, but it was all dark overhead; before her








i2 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

was another long passage, and the white rabbit was still in sight,
hurrying down it. There was not a moment to be lost: away went
Alice like the wind, and was just in time to hear it say, as it turned
a corner, Oh, my ears and whiskers, how late it's getting! She
was close behind it when she turned the corner, but the Rabbit was
no longer to be seen: she found herself in a long, low hall, which
was lit up by a row of lamps hanging from the roof.
There were doors all round the hall, but they were all locked,
and when Alice had been all the way down one side and up the
other, trying every door, she walked sadly down the middle, wonder-
ing how she was ever to get out again. Suddenly she came upon
a little three-legged table, all made of solid glass; there was nothing
on it but a tiny golden key, and Alice's first idea was that this might
belong to one of the. doors of the hall ;but alas! either the locks
were too large, or the key was too small, but at any rate it would
not open any of them. However,
on the second time round, she came
upon a low curtain that she had not
noticed before, and behind it was a
S~[little door about fifteen inches high;
/ she tried the little golden key in the
// Il lock, and to her great delight it fitted!
Alice opened the door and found
that it led into a small passage, not
much larger than a rat-hole; she
knelt down, and looked along the
SHE CAME UPON A LOW CURTAIN. passage into the loveliest garden you
ever saw. How she longed to get'out of that dark hall, and wan-
der about among those beds of bright flowers and those cool foun-
tains, but she could not even get her head through the doorway;
"and even if my head would go through," thought poor Alice, "it
would be of very little use without my shoulders. Oh, how I wish I
could shut up like a telescope! I think I could, if I only knew how to


I -- --- ----- r--


`;'t :-:;-?~~.~"r""~'~'~--~---- -------:_: .~. -; ~,ih








DOWN THE RABBIT-HOLE.


begin." For, you see, so many out-of-the-way things had happened
lately that Alice had begun to think that very few things indeed were
really impossible.
There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door; so she
went back to the table, half hoping she might find another key on it, or
at any rate a book of rules for shutting people up like telescopes. This
time she found a little bottle on it (" which certainly was not here be-
fore," said Alice), and tied round the neck of the bottle was a paper
label with the words DRINK ME"
beautifully printed on it in large letters.
It was all very well to say "Drink
me," but the wise little Alice was not
going to do that in a hurry. "No, I'll l
look first," she said, "and see whether
it's marked 'poison' or not;" for she had
read several nice little stories about chil-
dren who had got burned, and eaten up
by wild beasts, and other unpleasant
things, all because they would not re-
member the simple rules their friends
had taught them; such as, that a red-hot
poker will burn you if you hold it too
long; and that if you cut your finger "DRINK ME."
very deeply with a knife, it usually bleeds; and she had never for-
gotten that, if you drink much from a bottle marked "poison," it is
almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or later.
However, this bottle was not marked poison," so Alice ventured
to taste it; and finding it very nice (it had, in fact, a sort of mixed flavor
of cherry tart, custard, pineapple, roast turkey, toffy, and hot buttered
toast), she very soon finished it off.
Je -R- -R .-
@k c ,R- Q
k J@ -R JC @








14 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

What a curious feeling said Alice ; I must be shutting up like
a telescope."
And so it was indeed; she was now only ten inches high, and her
face brightened up at the thought that she was now the right size for
going through the little door into that lovely garden. First, however,
she waited for a few minutes to see if she was going to shrink any fur-
ther; she felt a little nervous about this, for it might end, you know,"
said Alice to herself, in my going out altogether, like a candle. I
wonder what I should be like then ? And she tried to fancy what the
flame of a candle looks like after the candle is blown out, for she could
not remember ever having seen such a thing.
After a while, finding that nothing more happened, she decided on
going into the garden at once; but, alas for poor Alice when she got
to the door, she found she had forgotten the little golden key, and when
she went back to the table for it, she found she could not possible reach
it; she could see it quite plainly through the glass, and she tried her
best to climb up one of the legs of the table, but it was too slippery;
and when she had tired herself out with trying, the poor little thing sat
down and cried.
Come, there's no use in crying like that! said Alice to herself,
rather sharply; I advise you to leave off this minute She gene-
rally gave herself very good advice (though she very seldom followed it),
and sometimes she scolded herself so severely as to bring tears into her
eyes; and once she remembered trying to box her own ears for having
cheated herself in a game of croquet she was playing against herself, for
this curious child was very fond of pretending to be two people. But
it's no use now," thought poor Alice, to pretend to be two people !
Why, there's hardly enough of me left to make one respectable person !"
Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under the
table; she opened it, and found in it a very small cake, on which the
words EAT, ME were beautifully marked in currants. Well, I'll
eat it," said Alice; and if it makes me grow larger, I can reach the
key; and if it makes me grow smaller, I can creep under the door;








DOWN THE RABBIT-HOLE. 15

so either way I'll get into the garden, and I don't care which hap-
pens.
She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to herself, "Which way?
Which way?" holding her hand on the top of her head to feel which
way it was growing, and she was quite surprised to find that she
remained the same size; to be sure, this is what.generally happens
when one eats cake, but Alice had got so much into the way of ex-
pecting nothing but out-of-the-way things to happen, that it seemed
quite dull and stupid for life to go on in the common way.
So she set to work, and very soon finished off the cake.


*








ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.


CHAPTER II.

THE POOL OF TEARS.

"CURIOUSER and curiouser," cried
Alice (she was so much surprised that
for the moment she quite forgot how
to speak good English); "now I'm
opening out like the largest telescope
that ever was! Good-by, feet" (for
when she looked, down at her feet,
l they seemed to be almost out of sight,
they were getting so far off). Oh,
my poor little feet, I wonder who will
put on your shoes and stockings for you
now, dears? I'm sure I sha'n't be
able! I shall be a great deal too far
off to trouble myself about you: you
W /must manage the best way you can; but
IJ I must be kind to them," thought Alice,
"or perhaps they won't walk the way I
want to go! Let me see; I'll give them
a new pair of boots every Christmas."
And she went on planning to her-
self how she would manage it. "They
= must go by the carrier, she thought;
Sand how funny it'll seem, sending
presents to one's own feet. And how
"I'M OPENING OUTI" CRIED ALICE. odd the directions will look!"








THE POOL OF TEARS.


Alice's Right Foot, Esq.
Hearthrug,
near the Fender,
(with Alice's love).

Oh, dear, what nonsense I'm talking! "
Just at this moment her head struck against the roof of the hall;
in fact, she was now rather more than nine feet high, and she at once
took up the little golden key and hurried off to the garden door.
Poor Alice! It was as much as she could do, lying down on one
side, to look through into the garden with one eye; but to get through
was more hopeless than ever: she sat down and began to cry again.
You ought to be ashamed of yourself," said Alice, a great girl
like you" (she might well say this), "to go on crying in this way!
Stop, this moment, I tell you!" But she went on all the same, shed-
ding gallons of tears, until there was a large pool all round her, about
four inches deep, and reaching half down the hall.
After a time she heard a little pattering of feet in the distance,
and she hastily dried her eyes to see what was coming. It was
the White Rabbit returning, splendidly dressed, with a pair of white
kid gloves in one hand and a large fan in the other. He came trot-
ting along in a great hurry, muttering to himself as he came, Oh!
the Duchess, the Duchess! Oh! won't she be savage if I've kept
her waiting?" Alice felt so desperate that she was ready to ask help
of any one; so, when the Rabbit came near her, she began, in a low,
timid" voice, If you please, sir" The Rabbit started violently,
dropped the white kid gloves and the fan, and skurried away into
the darkness as hard as he could go.
Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, as the hall was very hot,
she kept fanning herself all the time she went on talking. "Dear,
dear! How queer everything is to-day And yesterday things went
on just as usual. I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let
me think; was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost








ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.


think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I'm not the
same, the next question is, who in the world am I ? Ah, that's the
great puzzle!" And she began thinking over all the children she
knew that were of the same age as herself, to see if she could have
been changed for any of them.
I'm sure I'm not Ada," she said, for her hair goes in such long
ringlets, and mine doesn't go in ringlets at all; and I'm sure I can't be
Mabel, for I know all
sorts of things, and she,
oh! she knows such a
very little! Besides, she's
she, and I'm I, and-oh,
dear, how puzzling it all
Sis I'll try if I know all
the things I used to know.
Let me see; four times
I -~I ) five is twelve, and four
times six is thirteen, and
four times seven is- oh,
dear! I shall never get
to twenty at that rate!
However, the multipli-
cation table don't signi-
fy: let's try geography.
London is the capital of
Paris, and Paris is. the
capital of. Rome, and
THE RABBIT DROPPED THE FAN. Rome- no, that's all
Rome no, that's all
wrong, I'm certain! I must have been changed for Mabel! I'll try
and say, 'How dolh the little' "- and she crossed her hands on
her lap, as if she were saying lessons, and began to repeat it; but
her voice sounded hoarse and strange, and the words did not come
the same as they used to do: -








THE POOL OF TEARS.


"How doth the little crocodile
Improve his shining tail,
And pour the waters of the Nile
On every golden scale!

How cheerfully he seems to grin,
How neatly spreads his claws,
And welcomes little fishes in
With gently smiling jaws !"

I'm sure those are not the right words," said poor Alice; and her
eyes filled with tears again as she went on, I must be Mabel after all,
and I shall have to go and live in that poky little house, and have next
to no toys to play with, and oh, ever so many lessons to learn! No,
I've made up my mind about it; if I'm Mabel, I'll stay down here!
It'll be no use their putting their heads down and saying, 'Come up
again, dear!' I shall only look up and say, 'Who am I, then? Tell
me that first, and then, if I like being that person, I'll come up; if
not, I'll stay down here till I'm somebody else'- but, oh, dear cried
Alice, with a sudden burst of tears, I do wish they would put their
heads down! I am so very tired of being all alone here!"
As she said this, she looked down at her hands, and was surprised
to see that she had put on one of the Rabbit's little white kid gloves
while she was talking. How can I have done that ?" she thought.
" I must be growing small again." She got up and went to the table
to measure herself by it, and found that, as. nearly as she could guess,
she was now about two feet high, and was going on shrinking rapidly;
she soon found out that the cause of this was the fan she was holding,
and she dropped it hastily, just in time to save herself from shrinking
away altogether.
"That was a narrow escape!" said Alice, a good deal frightened
at the sudden change, but very glad to find herself still in existence;
"and now for the garden," and she ran with all her speed back to the
little door; but alas! the little door was shut again, and the little
golden key was lying on the glass table as before, and things are








ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.


worse than ever," thought the poor child, for I never was so small
as this before, never! And I declare it's too bad, that it is! "
As she said these words her foot slipped, and in another moment,
splash! she was up to her chin in salt water. Her first idea was that
she had somehow fallen into the sea, and in that case I can go back
by railway," she said to herself. (Alice had been at the seaside once
in her life, and had come to the gen-
eral conclusion that wherever you
go to on the English coast, you find
a number of bathing-machines in
the sea, some children digging in
the sand with wooden spades, then
a row of lodging-houses, and behind
them a railway station.) However,
____- she soon made out that she was in
----- the pool of tears which she had
ALICE SWAM ABOUT. wept when she was nine feet high.
I wish I hadn't cried so much! said Alice as she swam about, try-
ing to find her way out. I shall be punished for it now, I suppose, by
being drowned in my own tears. That will be a queer thing, to be
sure! However, everything is queer to-day."
Just then she heard something splashing about in the pool a little
way off, and she swam nearer to make out what it was; at first she
thought it must be a walrus or hippopotamus; but then she remembered
how small she was now, and she soon made out that it was only a
mouse that had slipped in like herself.
"Would it be of any use, now," thought Alice, to speak to this
mouse? Everything is so out of the way down here, that I should
think very likely it can talk; at any rate, there's no harm in trying."
So she began, Mouse, do you know the way out of this pool ? I
am very tired of swimming about here, O Mouse! (Alice thought
this must be the right way of speaking to a mouse; she had never done
such a thing before, but she remembered having seen in her brother's







THE POOL OF TEARS.


Latin grammar, A mouse -of a mouse -to a mouse -a mouse -
O mouse! ") The Mouse looked at her rather inquisitively, and seemed
to her to wink with one of its little eyes, but it said nothing.
Perhaps it doesn't understand English," thought Alice; I dare
say it's a French Mouse, come over with William the Conqueror."
(For, with all her knowledge of history, Alice had no very clear notion
how long ago anything had happened.) So she began again: Ou est
ma chatte ?" which was the first sentence in her French lesson-book.
The Mouse gave a sudden leap out of the water, and seemed to quiver
all over with fright. Oh, I beg your pardon!" cried Alice hastily,
afraid that she had hurt the poor animal's feelings, I quite forgot you
didn't like cats."
Not like cats!" cried the Mouse in a shrill, passionate voice.
" Would you like cats if you were me?"
"Well, perhaps not," said Alice in a soothing tone; "don't be angry
about it. And yet I
wish I could show you
our cat Dinah; I think
you'd take a fancy to -
cats if you could only
see her. She is such a
dear quiet thing," Alice
went on, half to herself,
as she swam lazily about
in the pool; and she
sits purring so nicely
by the fire, licking her BEG YOUR PARDON I" CRIED ALICE.
paws and washing her face; and she is such a nice soft thing to,
nurse; and she's a capital one for catching mice oh, I beg your
pardon! cried Alice again; for this time the Mouse was bristling all
over, and she felt certain it must be really offended. We won't talk
about her any more if you'd rather not."
We, indeed cried the Mouse, who was trembling down to the








ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.


end of his tail. "As if I would talk on such a subject! Our family
always hated cats nasty, low, vulgar things Don't let me hear the
name again "
I won't indeed said Alice in a great hurry to change the subject
of conversation. "Are you-are you fond--of- of dogs?" The
Mouse did not answer, so Alice went on eagerly: "There is such a
nice little dog near our house I should like to show you! A little
bright-eyed terrier, you know, with oh! such long, curly brown hair!
And it'll fetch things when you throw them, and it'll sit up and beg for
its dinner, and all sorts of things -I can't remember half of them;
and it belongs to a farmer, you know, and he says it's so useful, it's
worth a hundred pounds He says it kills all the rats and oh, dear! "
'cried Alice in a sorrowful tone, '' I'm afraid I've offended it again! "
For the Mouse was swimming away from her as hard as it could go,
and making quite a commotion in the pool as it went.
So she called softly after it, "Mouse dear! do come back again,
and we won't talk about cats or dogs either, if you don't like them!"
When the Mouse heard this, it turned round and swam slowly back to
her; its face was quite pale (with passion, Alice thought), and it said
in a low, trembling voice, Let us get to the shore, and then I'll tell
you my history, and you'll understand why it is I hate cats and dogs."
It was high time to go, for the pool was getting quite crowded
-with the birds and animals that had fallen into it: there was a Duck
and a Dodo, a Lory and an Eaglet, and several other curious crea-
tures. Alice led the way, and the whole party swam to the shore.








A CAUCUS-RACE AND A LONG TALE.


CHAPTER III.

A CAUCUS-RACE AND A LONG TALE.

THEY' were indeed a queer-lookirig party that assembled on the
bank, -the birds with draggled feathers, the animals with their fur
clinging close to
them, and all drip-
ping wet, cross, and "
uncomfortable.
The first ques-
tion of course was, w
howto get dry again.
They had a consulta-
tion about this, and oi,
after a few minutes
it seemed quite nat-
ural to Alice to find
herself talking fa-
miliarly with them,
military with them, I'LL MAKE YOU DRY ENOUGH I" SAID THE MOUSE.
as if she had known
them all her life. Indeed, she had quite a long argument with the
Lory, who at last turned sulky, and would only say, I am older
than you, and must know better;" and this Alice would not allow,
without knowing how old it was, and as the Lory positively refused
to tell its age, there was no more to be said.
At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of some authority
among them, called out, Sit down, all of you, and listen to me! 7I'1
soon make you dry enough! They all sat down at once, in a large







ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.


ring, with the Mouse in the middle. Alice kept her eyes anxiously
fixed on it, for she felt sure she would catch a bad cold if she did
not get dry very soon.
"Ahem!" said the Mouse with an important air, "are you all
ready? This is the dryest thing I know. Silence all round, if you
please! William the Conqueror, whose cause was favored by the
pope, was soon submitted to by the English, who wanted leaders, and
had been of late much accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Ed-
win and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria"-
"Ugh !" said the Lory with a shiver.
"I beg your pardon," said the Mouse, frowning, but very po-
litely; "did you speak?"
"Not I! said the Lory hastily.
"I thought you did," said the Mouse. I proceed. 'Edwin and
Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him; and
even Stigand, the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, found it ad-
visable'"
"Found whale t?" said the Duclk.
"Found it," the Mouse replied rather crossly; of course you
know what 'it' means."
I know what 'it' means well enough when I find a thing," said
the Duck; it's generally a frog or a worm. The question is, what
did the archbishop find?"
The Mouse did not notice this question, but hurriedly went on,
"' Found it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William and
offer him the crown. William's conduct at first was moderate. But
the insolence of his Normans'- How are you getting on now, my
dear?" it continued, turning to Alice as he spoke.
"As wet as ever," said Alice in a melancholy tone; "it doesn't
seem to dry me at all."
In that case," said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet, "I move
that the meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of more ener-.
getic remedies"-







A CAUCUS-RACE AND A LONG TALE.


Speak English!" said the Eaglet. I don't know the meaning
of half those long words, and what's more, I don't believe you do
either And the Eaglet bent down his head to hide a smile: some
of the other birds tittered audibly.
What I was going to say," said the Dodo in an offended tone,
was that the best thing to get us dry would be a caucus-race."
"What is a caucus-race?" said Alice; not that she much wanted
to know, but the Dodo had paused as if it thought that somebody ought
to speak, and no one else seemed inclined to say anything.
"Why," said the Dodo, the best way to explain it is to do it."
(And as you might like to try the thing yourself, some winter day, I
will tell you how the Dodo managed it.)
First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle (" the exact
shape doesn't matter," it said), and then all the party were placed
along the course, here and there. There was no One, two, three,
and away;" but they began running when they liked and left off when.
they liked, so that it was not easy to know when the race was over.
However, when they had been running half an hour or so, and were
quite dry again, the Dodo suddenly called out, "The race is over! "
and they all crowded round it, panting and asking, But who has won ? "
This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal of
thought, and it sat for a long time with one finger pressed upon its
forehead (the position in which you usually see Shakespeare, in the
pictures of him), while the rest waited in silence. At last the Dodo
said, "Everybody has won, and all must have prizes."
But who is to give the prizes ?" quite a chorus of voices asked.
"Why, she, of course," said the Dodo, pointing to Alice with one
finger; and the whole party at once crowded round her, calling out in
a confused way, Prizes, prizes !"
Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put her hand into
her pocket, and pulled out a box of comfits (luckily the salt water had
not got into it), and handed them round as prizes. There was exactly
one a-piece all round.







ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.


But she must have a prize herself, you know," said the Mouse.
Of course," the Dodo replied very gravely. What else have
you got in your pocket ? he went on, turning to Alice.
Only a thimble," said Alice sadly.
Hand it over here," said the Dodo.
Then they all crowded round her once more, while the Dodo sol-
emnly presented the thimble, saying, We beg your acceptance of this
elegant thimble;" and when it had fin-
ished this short speech, they all cheered.
Alice thought the whole thing
very absurd; but they all
looked so grave that she
did not dare to laugh, and
as she could not think of
anything to say, she'im-
ply bowed, and took the
Sthimble, looking as sol-
emn as she could.
The next thing was
to eat the comfits. This
was the cause of some
noise and confusion; the
large birds complained
that they could not taste
theirs, and the small ones
THE DODO PRESENTS THE THIMBLE. choked and had to be
patted on the back. However, it was over at last, and they sat down
again in a ring, and begged the Mouse to tell them something more.
You promised to tell me your history, you know," said Alice,
"and why it is you hate -C and D," she added in a whisper, half
afraid that it would be offended again.
Mine is a long and a sad tale!" said the Mouse, turning to Alice,
and sighing.








A CAUCUS-RACE AND A LONG TALE.


It is a long tail, certainly," said Alice, looking down with wonder at
the Mouse's tail ; but why do you call it sad ? And she kept on puz-
zling about it while the Mouse was speaking, so that her idea of the tale
was something like this :-
"Fury said to You are not attending said the
a mouse, That Mouse to Alice severely. What are
he met you thinking of?"
in the
house, I beg your pardon," said Alice very
'Let us humbly; you had got to the fifth bend,
both go
to law: I think."
Will "I had not!" cried the Mouse
prosecute
you.- sharply, and very angrily.
Come, Ill "A knot! said Alice, always ready
take no
denial: to make herself useful, and looking anx-
We must
have a iously about her. Oh, do let me help
trial to undo it!
For
really I shall do nothing of the sort," said
this
morning the Mouse, getting up and walking away.
n I've "You insult me by talking such non-
nothing
to do.' sense "
Said the
mouse to "I didn't mean it!" pleaded poor
the cur,
'Such a Alice. "But you're so easily offended,
trial,
dear sir, you know."
With no
jury or The Mouse only growled in reply.
judge be "Please come back, and finish your
wasting story! Alice called after it; and the
our breath.'
I'll be others all joined in chorus, "Yes, please
judge,
I'll be do!" but the Mouse only shook its head
jury,'
Said impatiently, and walked a little quicker.
cunning
old Fury; "What a pity it wouldn't stay!"
I'll try
the whole sighed the Lory, as soon as it was quite
caand out of sight; and an old crab took the
condemn
you opportunity of saying to her daughter,
dt h.o
dedth.'"







ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.


"Ah, my dear! let this be a lesson to you never to lose your tem-
per!"
Hold your tongue, ma! said the young crab a little snappishly;
"you're enough to try the patience of an oyster!"
"I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do!" said Alice aloud,
addressing nobody in particular. "She'd soon fetch it back!"
"And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask the question?"
said the Lory.
Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to talk about her
pet. Dinah's our cat. And she's such a capital one for catching
mice, you can't think! .And oh, I wish you could see her after the
birds! Why, she'll eat a little bird as soon as look at it!"
This speech caused a remarkable sensation among the party.
Some of the birds hurried off at once; one old magpie began wrap-
ping itself up very carefully, remarking, I really must be getting
home; the night air doesn't suit my throat!" and a canary called out
in a trembling voice to its children, Come away, my dears! It's
high time you were all in bed!" On various pretexts they all moved
off, and Alice was soon left alone.
I wish I hadn't mentioned Dinah!" she said to herself in a mel-
ancholy tone. Nobody seems to like her down here, and I'm sure
she's the best cat in the world! Oh, my dear Dinah! I wonder if
I shall ever see you any more!" And here poor Alice began to cry
again, for she felt very lonely and low-spirited. In a little while,
however, she again heard a little pattering of footsteps in the dis-
tance;.and she looked up eagerly, half hoping that the Mouse had
changed his mind, and was coming back to finish his story.








THE RABBIT SENDS IN A LITTLE BILL.


CHAPTER IV.

THE RABBIT SENDS IN A LITTLE BILL.

IT was the White Rabbit, trotting slowly back again, and looking
anxiously about as it went, as if it had lost something; and she heard
it muttering to itself, "The Duchess! The Duchess! Oh, my dear
paws! Oh, my fur and whiskers! She'll get me executed, as sure
as ferrets are ferrets! Where can I have dropped them, I wonder!"
Alice guessed in a moment that it was looking for the fan and the
pair of white kid gloves, and she very good-naturedly began hunt-
ing about for them; but they were nowhere to be seen -everything
seemed to have changed since her swim in the pool, and the great
hall, with the glass table and the little door, had vanished .completely.
Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice, as she went hunting about,
and called out to her in an angry tone, "Why, Mary Ann, what are
you doing out here? Run home this moment, and fetch me a pair
of gloves and a fan! Quick, now!" And Alice was so much fright-
ened that she ran off at once in the direction it pointed to, without
trying to explain the mistake that it had made.
He took me for his housemaid," she said to herself as she ran.
"How surprised he'll be when he finds out who I am! But I'd bet-
ter take him his fan and gloves--that is, if I can find them." As
she said this, she came upon a neat little house, on the door of which
was a bright brass plate, with the name "W. RABBIT" engraved
upon it. She went in without knocking, and hurried up-stairs, in great
fear lest she should meet the real Mary Ann, and be turned out of
the house before she had found the fan and gloves.
How queer it seems," Alice said to herself, to be going mes-








ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.


sages for a rabbit! I suppose Dinah'll be sending me on messages
next!" And she began fancying the sort of thing that would hap-
pen: "'Miss Alice! Come here directly, and get ready for your walk!'
'Coming in a minute, nurse! But I've got to watch this mousehole
till Dinah comes back; and see that the mouse doesn't get out.' Only
I don't think," Alice went on, that they'd let Dinah stop in the house
if it began ordering people about like that "
By this time she had found her way into a tidy little room with a
table in the window, and on it (as she had hoped) a fan and two or
three pairs of tiny white kid gloves. She took up the fan and a pair
of the gloves, and was just going to leave the room, when her eye fell
upon a little bottle that stood near the looking-glass. There was no
label this time with the words DRINK ME;" but nevertheless she
uncorked it, and put it to her lips. "I know something interesting is
sure to happen," she said to herself, "whenever I eat or drink anything;
so I'll just see what
this bottle does. I
do hope it'll make
megrow large again,
for really I'm quite
Stirred of being such
a tiny little thing "
It did so indeed,
much sooner than
she expected; and
before she had
drunk half the bot-
tle, she found her
WHAT HAPPENED TO ALICE. head pressing hard
against the ceiling, and had to stoop to save her neck from being
broken. She hastily put down the bottle, saying to herself, "That's.
quite enough--I hope I sha'n't grow any more--as it is, I can't get
out at the door--I do wish I hadn't drunk quite so much!"








THE RABBIT SENDS IN A LITTLE BILL.


Alas! It was too late to wish that! She went on growing and
growing, and very soon had to kneel down on the floor. In another
minute there was not even room for this; and she tried the effect of
lying down, with one elbow against the door, and the other arm curled
round her head. Still she went on growing; and, as a last resource,
she put one arm out of the window, and one foot up the chimney, and
said to herself, Now I can do no more, whatever happens. What will
become of me ?"
Luckily for Alice, the little magic bottle had now had its full effect,
and she grew no larger; still it was very uncomfortable, and as there
seemed to be no sort of chance of her ever getting out of the room
again, no wonder she felt unhappy.
It was much pleasanter at home," thought poor Alice, "when one
wasn't always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about by
mice and rabbits. I almost wish I hadn't gone down that rabbit-hole
- and yet and yet it's rather curious, you know, this sort of life !
I do wonder what can have happened to me! When I used to read
fairy-tales, I fancied that kind of thing never happened, and now here
I am in the middle of one. There ought to be a book written about
me, that there ought! And when I grow up, I'll write one -but I'm
grown up now," she added in a sorrowful tone; "at least, there's no
room to grow up any more here."
But then;" thought Alice, shall I never get any older than I am
now ? That'll be a comfort, one way- never to be an old woman -
but then always to have lessons to learn! Oh, I shouldn't like that."
"Oh, you foolish Alice!" she answered herself. "How can you
learn lessons in here? Why, there's hardly room for you, and no
room at all for any lesson-books !"
And so she went on, taking first one side and then the other, and
making quite a conversation of it altogether; but after a few minutes
she heard a voice outside, and stopped to listen.
Mary Ann! Mary Ann !" said the voice, fetch me my gloves
this moment!" Then came a little pattering of feet on the stairs.







ALICE S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.


Alice knew it was the Rabbit coming to look for her; and she trembled
till she shook the house, quite forgetting that she was now about a thou-
sand times as large as the Rabbit, and had no reason to be afraid of it.
Presently the Rabbit came up to the door, and tried to open it; but
as the door opened inward, and Alice's elbow was pressed hard against
it, that attempt proved a failure. Alice heard it say to itself, "Then
I'll go round and get in at the window."
"That you won't!" thought Alice;
Sl and after waiting till she fancied she heard
the Rabbit just under the window, she
suddenly spread out her hand, and made
a snatch in the air. She did not get hold
of anything; but she heard a little shriek
and a fall, and a crash of broken glass,
from which she concluded that it was just
possible it had fallen into a cucumber-
frame, or something of the sort.
Next came an angry voice, the
Rabbit's,-"Pat! Pat! Where are you ?"
And then a voice she had never heard
g before, "Sure, then, I'm here! Digging
ALICE SPREAD OUT HER HAND. for apples, yer honor !
Digging for apples, indeed!" said the Rabbit angrily. Here!
Come and help me out of this!" (Sounds of more broken glass.)
"Now tell me, Pat, what's that in the window?"
"Sure, it's an arm, yer honor!" (He pronounced it "arrum.")
"An arm, you goose! Who ever saw one that size? Why, it
fills the whole window!"
Sure, it does, yer honor; but it's an arm, for all that."
"Well, it's got no business there, at any rate; go and take it away!"
There was a long silence after this; and Alice could only hear
whispers now and then, such as, Sure, I don't like it, yer honor, at
.all at all! "







THE RABBIT SENDS IN A LITTLE BILL.


Do as I tell you, you coward! and at last she spread out her
hand, again and made another snatch in the air. This time there were
two little shrieks, and more sounds of broken glass. "What a number
of cucumber-frames there must be thought Alice. I wonder what
they'll do next! As for pulling me out of the window, I only wish
they could. I'm stre I don't want to stay in here any longer! "
She waited for some time without hearing anything more. At last
came a rumbling of little cart-wheels, and the sound of a good many
voices all talking together; she made out the words, "Where's the
other ladder ? -Why, I hadn't to bring but one; Bill's got the other.
-Bill fetch it here, lad Here, put 'em up at this corner- No,
tie 'em together first they don't reach half high enough yet Oh I
they'll do well enough; don't be particular- Here, Bill! catch hold
of this rope Will the roof bear ? Mind that loose slate Oh, it's
coming down! Heads below!" (a loud crash) -" Now, who did
that?- It was Bill, I fancy Who's to go down the chimney ?-
Nay, I sha'n't! You do it! That I won't then! Bill's got to go
down -Here, Bill! the master says you've got to go down the
chimney! "
"Oh, so Bill's got to come down the chimney, has he?" said
Alice to herself. Why, they seem to put everything upon Bill!
I wouldn't be in Bill's place for a good deal; this fireplace is narrow,
to be sure, but I think I can kick a little."
SShe drew her foot as far down the chimney as she could, and
waited till she heard a little animal (she couldn't guess of what sort
it was) scratching and scrambling about in the chimney close above
her; then, saying to herself, "This is Bill," she gave one sharp kick,
and waited to see what would happen next.
The first thing she heard was a general chorus of "There goes
Bill! then the Rabbit's voice alone,," Catch him, you by the hedge! "
then silence, and then another confusion of voices -" Hold up his
head Brandy now Don't choke him How was it, old fellow? -
What happened to you ? Tell us all about it!"








ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.


Last came a little feeble squeaking voice (" That's Bill," thought
Alice), "Well, I hardly know--no more, thank ye, I'm better now
-but I'm a deal too flustered to tell you all I know is, something
comes at me like a Jack-in-the-box, and up I goes like a sky-rocket! "
"So you did, old fellow! said the others.
We must burn the house down said
S the Rabbit's voice, and Alice called out as
loud as she could, If you do, I'll set Dinah
S at you! "
There was a dead silence instantly; and
SAlice thought to herself, I wonder what they
/I will do next! If they had any sense, they'd
>take the roof off." After a minute or two
S they began moving about again, and Alice
Heard the Rabbit say, A barrowful will do,
to begin with."
A barrowful of what ? thought Alice;
S but she had not long to doubt, for the next
moment a shower of little pebbles came rat-
tling in at the window, and some of them hit
her in the face. "I'll put a stop to this," she
said to herself, and shouted out, "You'd
better not do that again! which produced
another dead silence.
Alice noticed with some surprise that the
pebbles were all turning into little cakes as
S they lay on the floor, and a bright idea came
into her head. "If I eat one of these cakes,"
THER GOES BILL he thought, it's sure to make some change
, "THERE GOES BILL I"
in my size; and as it can't possibly make me
larger, it must make me smaller, I suppose."
So she swallowed one of the cakes, and was delighted to find that
she began shrinking directly. As soon as she was small enough to








THE RABBIT SENDS IN A LITTLE BILL.


get through the door, she ran out of the house, and found quite a
crowd of little animals and birds waiting outside. The poor little
lizard, Bill, was in the middle, being held up by two guinea-pigs, who
were giving it something out of a bottle. They all made a rush at
Alice the moment she appeared; but she ran off as hard as she could,
and soon found herself safe in a thick wood.
The first thing I've got to do," said Alice to herself, as she wan-
dered about in the wood, "is to grow to my right size again; and the
second thing is to find my way into that lovely garden. I think that
will be the best plan."
It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, and very neatly and simply
arranged; the only difficulty was, that she had not the smallest idea
how to set about it; and while she was peering about anxiously among
the trees, a little sharp bark just over her head made her look up in a
great hurry.
An enormous puppy was looking down at her with large round
eyes, and feebly stretching out one paw, trying to touch her. Poor
little thing!" said Alice in a coaxing tone; and she tried hard to
whistle to it, but she was terribly frightened all the time at the thought
that it might be hungry, in which case it would be very likely to eat
her up in spite of all her coaxing.
Hardly knowing what she did, she picked up a little 'bit of stick,
and held it out to the puppy; whereupon the puppy jumped into the
air off all its feet at once, with a yelp of delight, and rushed at the
stick, and made believe to worry it; then Alice dodged behind a great
thistle, to keep herself from being run over, and the moment she
appeared on the other side, the puppy made another rush at the stick,
and tumbled head over heels in its hurry to get hold of it; then Alice,
thinking it was very like having a game of play with a cart-horse, and
expecting every moment to be trampled under his feet, ran round the
thistle again; then the puppy began a series of short charges at the
stick, running a very little way forward each time and a long way back,
and barking hoarsely all the while, till at last it sat down a good way









ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.


off, panting, with its tongue hanging out of its mouth, and its great
eyes half shut.
This seemed to Alice a good opportunity for making her escape;
so she set off at once, and ran till she was quite tired and out of breath,
and till the puppy's bark sounded quite faint in the distance.
"And yet what a dear little puppy it was," said Alice, as she leaned


~,I ,,,


THE ENORMOUS PUPPY.


against a buttercup to rest herself, and fanned herself with one of the
leaves. I should have liked teaching it tricks very much, if- if I'd
only been the right size to do it! Oh, dear! I'd nearly forgotten that
I've got to grow up again. Let me see how is it to be managed ?


! ^








THE RABBIT SENDS IN A LITTLE BILL. 37

I suppose I ought to eat or drink something or other, but the great
question is, what? "
The great question certainly was, what? Alice looked all round
her at the flowers and the blades of grass, but she could not see any-
thing that looked like the right thing to eat or drink under the circum-
stances. There was a large mushroom growing near her, about the
same height as herself; and when she had looked under it, and on both
sides of it, and behind it, it occurred to her that she might as well look
and see what was on the top of it.
She stretched herself up on tiptoe, and peeped over the edge of
the mushroom; and her eyes immediately met those of a large blue
caterpillar that was sitting on the top with its arms folded, quietly
smoking a long hookah, and taking not the smallest notice of her or
of anybody else.








ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.


CHAPTER V.

ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR.

THE Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other in silence. At last
the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth, and addressed her in
a languid, sleepy voice.
Who are you ?" said the

This was not an encoura-
ging opening for a conversa-
I I tion. Alice replied rather shyly,
I I hardly know, sir, just at
present at least, I know who
I was when I got up this morn-
ing, but I think I must have
been changed several times
since then."
"What do you mean by
that?" said the Caterpillar stern-
ly. Explain yourself."
I cannot explain myself,
I I'm afraid, sir," said Alice,
"because I'm not myself, you
THE CATERPILLAR ADDRESSING ALICE. because I'm not myself, you
see."
I don't see," said the Caterpillar.
I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly," Alice replied very politely;
"for I can't understand it myself to begin with ; and being so many
different sizes in a day is very confusing."







ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR.


It isn't," said the Caterpillar.
Well, perhaps you haven't found it so yet," said Alice; but when
you have to turn into a chrysalis, you will some day, you know, and
then after that into a butterfly, I should think you'll feel it a little queer,
won't you ? "
"Not a bit," said the Caterpillar.
"Well, perhaps your feelings may be different," said Alice; all I
know is, it would feel very queer to me."
You said the Caterpillar contemptuously. Who are you ? "
Which brought them back again to the beginning of the conversa-
tion. Alice felt a little irritated at the caterpillar's making such very
short remarks, and she drew herself up. and said, very gravely, I think
you ought to tell me who you are, first."
Why ?" said the Caterpillar.
Here was another puzzling question ; and, as Alice could not think
of any good reason, and as the Caterpillar seemed to be in a very un-
pleasant state of mind, she turned away.
Come back the Caterpillar called after her. I've something
important to say "
This sounded promising, certainly. Alice turned and came back
again.
Keep your temper," said the Caterpillar.
Is that all ? said Alice, swallowing down her anger as well as she
could.
No," said ihe Caterpillar.
Alice thought she might as well wait, as she had nothing else to do,
and perhaps after all it might tell her something worth hearing. For
some minutes it puffed away without speaking; but at last it unfolded
its arms, took the hookah out of its mouth again, and said, So you
think you're changed, do you ?"
I'm afraid I am, sir," said Alice; I can't remember things as I
used and I don't keep the same size for ten minutes together!"
Can't remember what things?" said the Caterpillar.









ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.


Well, I've tried to say, How doth the little busy bee,' but it all
came different! Alice replied in a very melancholy voice.
Repeat You are old, Father William,'" said the Caterpillar.
Alice folded her.hands, and began :-

"'You are old, Father William,' the young man said,
'And your hair has become very white;
And yet you incessantly stand on your head-
Do you think, at your age, it is right?'


FATHER WILLIAM STANDS ON HIS HEAD.


'In my youth,' Father William replied to his son,
'I feared it might injure the brain;
But now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
Why, I do it again ,and again.'

'You are old,' said the youth, 'as I mentioned before,
And have grown most uncommonly fat;
Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door--
Pray, what is the reason of that?'

'In my youth,' said the sage, as he shook his gray locks,
'I kept all my limbs very supple *
By the use of this ointment one shilling the box-
Allow me to sell you a couple.'


i'










ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR.


FATHER WILLIAM TURNS A SOMERSAULT.


'You are old,' said the youth, 'and your jaws are too weak
For anything tougher than suet;
Yet you finished the googe, -with the bones and the beak:
Pray, how did you manage to do it? '


FATHER WILLIAM FINISHES THE GOOSE.








ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

'In my youth,' said his father, 'I took to the law,
And argued each case with my wife';
And the muscular strength which it gave to my jaw,
Has lasted the rest of imy life.'

'You are old,' said the youth; 'one would hardly suppose
That your eye was as steady as ever;
Yet you balance an eel on the end of your nose -
What made you so awfully clever?'


FATHER WILLIAM BALANCES THE EEL.


'I have answered three questions, and that is enough,'
Said his father; 'don't give yourself airs;
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs '"


"That is not said right," said the Caterpillar.
"Not quite right, I'm afraid," said Alice timidly; some of the
words have got altered."
It is wrong from beginning to end," said the Caterpillar decidedly;
and there was silence for some minutes.
The Catefpillar was the first to speak.
What size do you want to be ?" it asked.


' ,...,







ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR.


Oh, I'm not particular as to size," Alice hastily replied; only one
doesn't like changing so often, you know."
I don't know," said'the Caterpillar.
Alice said nothing; she had never been so much contradicted in all
her life before, and she felt that she was losing her temper.
"Are you content now?" said the Caterpillar.
"Well, I should like to be a little larger, sir, if you wouldn't'mind,"
said Alice: three inches is such a wretched height to be."
It is a very good height indeed!" said the Caterpillar angrily,
rearing itself upright as it spoke (it was exactly three inches high).
But I'm not used to it!." pleaded poor Alice in a piteous tone.
And she thought to herself, "I wish the creatures wouldn't be so
easily offended!"
You'll get used to it in time," said the Caterpillar; and it put the
hookah into its mouth and began smoking again.
This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak again. In
a minute or two the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth, and
yawned once or twice, and shook itself. Then it got down off the
mushroom, and crawled away into the grass, merely remarking as it
went, One side will make you grow taller, and the other side will
make you grow shorter."
One side of wkat P The other side of what ?" thought Alice to
herself.
Of the mushroom," said the Caterpillar, just as if she asked it
aloud; and in another moment it was out of sight.
Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a minute,
trying to make out which were the two sides of it; and as it was per-
fectly round, she found this a very difficult question. However, at last
she stretched her arms round it as far as they would go, and broke off
a bit of the edge with each hand.
"And now which is which?" she said to herself, and nibbled a
little of the right-hand bit to try the effect: the next moment she felt
a violent blow underneath her chin; it had struck her foot!
4.







ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.


She was a good deal frightened by this very sudden change, but
she felt that there was no time to be lost, as she was shrinking rapidly;
so she set to work at once to eat some of the other bit. Her chin was
pressed so closely against her foot that there was hardly room to open
her mouth; but she did it at last, and managed to swallow a morsel of
the left-hand bit.





'Come, my head's free at last! said Alice in a tone of delight,
which changed into alarm in another moment, when she found that
her shoulders were nowhere to be found; all she could' see, when she
looked down, was an immense length of neck, which seemed to rise
like a stalk out of a sea of green leaves that lay far below her.
What can all that green stuff be ? said Alice. And where have
my shoulders got to ? And oh, my poor hands, how is it I can't see
you ? She was moving them about as she spoke, but no result seemed
to follow, except a little shaking among the distant green leaves.
As there seemed to be no chance of getting her hands up to her
head, she tried to get her head down to them, and was delighted to
find that her neck would bend about easily in -any direction, like a
serpent. She had.just succeeded in curving it down into a graceful
zigzag, and was going to dive in among the leaves, which she found to
be nothing but the tops of the trees under which she had been wander-
ing, when a sharp hiss made her draw back in a hurry. A large pigeon
had flown into her face, and was beating her violently with its wings.
Serpent! screamed the Pigeon.
I'm not a serpent! said Alice indignantly. Let me alone "
Serpent, I say again repeated the Pigeon, but in a more sub-
dued tone, and added with a kind of sob, I've tried every way, and
nothing seems to suit them! "
I haven't the least idea what you're talking about," said Alice.







ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR.


I've tried the roots of trees, and I've tried banks, and I've tried
hedges," the Pigeon went on, without attending to her; "but those
serpents! There's no pleasing them "
Alice was more and more puzzled, but she thought there was no
use in saying anything more till the Pigeon had finished.
"As if it wasn't trouble enough hatching the eggs," said the
Pigeon, "but I must be .on the lookout for serpents night and day!
Why, I haven't had a wink of sleep these three weeks "
I'm very sorry you've been annoyed," said Alice, who was be-
ginning to see its meaning.
"And just as I'd taken the highest tree in the wood," continued
the Pigeon, raising its voice to a shriek, and just as I was thinking I
should be free of them at last, they must needs come wriggling down
from the sky! Ugh! Serpent! "
But I'm not a serpent, I tell you! said Alice, I'm a--I'm a"-
"Well, what are you?" said the Pigeon. "I can see you're try-
ing to invent something!"
I-'I'm a little girl," said Alice rather doubtfully, as she remem-
bered the number of changes she had gone through that day.
A likely story indeed said the Pigeon in a tone of the deepest
contempt.. I've seen a good many little girls in my time, but never
one with such a neck as that! No, no! You're a serpent; and
there's no use denying it. I suppose you'll be telling me next that
you never tasted an egg!"
"I have tasted eggs, certainly," said Alice, who was a very truthful
child; but little girls eat eggs quite as much as serpents do, you know."
I don't believe it," said the Pigeon; but if they do, why then
they're a kind of serpent, that's all I can say."
This was such a new idea to Alice, that she was quite silent for a
minute or two, which gave the Pigeon the opportunity of adding,
" You're looking for eggs, I know that well enough; and what does it
matter to me whether you're a little girl or a serpent?"
It matters a good deal to me," said Alice hastily; "but I'm not








46 ALICE'S ADVENTURES 'IN WONDERLAND.

looking for eggs, as it happens; and if I was, I shouldn't want yours;
I don't like them raw."
Well, be off, then! said the Pigeon in a sulky tone, as it settled
down again into its nest. Alice crouched down among the trees as
well as she could, for her neck kept getting entangled among the
branches, and every now and then she had to stop and untwist it.
After a while she remembered that she still held the pieces of mush-
room in her hands, and she set to work very carefully, nibbling first at
one and then at the other, and growing sometimes taller and some-
times shorter, until she had succeeded in bringing herself down to her
usual height.
It was so long since she had been anything near the right size,
that it felt quite strange at first; but she got used to it in a few min-
utes, and began talking to herself as usual. Come, there's half my
plan done now! How puzzling all these changes are! I'm never
sure what I'm going to be, from one minute to another! However,
I've got back to my right size; the next thing is, to get into that
beautiful garden -how is that to be done, I wonder?" As she said
this, she came suddenly upon an open place, with a little house in it
about four feet high. "Whoever lives there," thought Alice, it'll
never do to come upon them this size; why, I should frighten them
out of their wits So she began nibbling at the right-hand bit again,
and did not venture to go near the house till she had brought herself
down to nine inches high.








pIG AND PEPPER.


CHAPTER VI.

PIG AND PEPPER.

FOR a minute or two she stood looking at the house, and wonder-
ing what to do next, when suddenly a footman in livery came running
out of the wood (she con-
sidered him to be a foot-
man because he was in
livery; otherwise, judging
by his face only, she would
have called him a fish), and
rapped loudly at the door
with his knuckles. It was
opened by another footman
in livery, with a round face
and large eyes, like a frog;
and both footmen, Alice no-
ticed, had powdered hair,
that curled all over their
heads. She felt very curi-
ous to know what it was all
about, and crept a little way
out of the 'wood to listen.- ." .
The Fish-Footman be-
'FOR THE DUCHESS."
gan by producing from un-
der his arm.a great letter, nearly as large as himself, and this he handed
over to the other, saying in a solemn tone,;" For the Duchess. An in-
vitation from the Queen to play croquet." The Frog-Footman repeated







ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.


in the same solemn tone, only changing the order of the words a little,
" From the Queen. An invitation for the Duchess to play croquet."
Then they both bowed low, and their curls got entangled together.
Alice laughed so much at this that she had to run back into the
wood for fear of their hearing her; and when she next peeped out, the
Fish-Footman was gone, and the other was sitting on the ground near
the door, staring stupidly up into the sky.
Alice went timidly up to the door, and knocked.
"There's no sort of use in knocking," said the Footman, and
that for two reasons. First, because I'm on the same side of the door
as you are; secondly, because they're making such a noise inside no
one could possibly hear you." And certainly there was a most extra-
ordinary noise going on within, -a constant howling and sneezing,
and every now and then a great crash, as if a dish or kettle had
been broken to pieces.
Please, then," said Alice, how am I to get in? "
"There might be some sense in your knocking," the Footman went
on, without attending to her, if we'had the door between us. For
instance, if you were inside, you might knock, and I could let you out,
you know." He was looking up into the sky all the time he was
speaking, and this Alice thought decidedly uncivil. But perhaps he
can't help it," she said to herself; his eyes are so very nearly at the
top of his head. But at any rate he might answer questions. How
am I to get in ? she repeated aloud.
I shall sit here," the Footman remarked, till to-morrow "-
At this moment the door of the house opened, and a large plate
came skimming out, straight at the Footman's head; it just grazed his
nose, and broke to pieces against one of the trees behind him.
"- or next day, maybe," the Footman continued in the same tone,
exactly as if nothing had happened.
How am I to get in?" Alice asked again in a louder tone.
Are you to get in at all ?" said the Footman. "That's the first
question, you know."








PIG AND PEPPER.


It was, no doubt; only Alice did not like to be told so. It's really
dreadful," she muttered to herself, the way all the creatures argue.
It's enough to drive one crazy "
The Footman seemed to think this a good opportunity for repeating
his remark with variations. I shall sit here," he said, on and off,
for days and days."
But what am I
to do ?" said Alice.
"Anything you
like," said the Foot-
man, and -he began
whistling.
Oh, there's no
use in talking to
him," said Alice des-
perately; "he's per-
fectly idiotic!" And
she opened the door
and went in.
It led right into a
large kitchen, which "PIGI" SAID THE DUCHESS.
was full of smoke
from one end to the other; the Duchess was sitting on a three-legged
stool in the middle, nursing a baby; the cook was leaning over the
fire, stirring a large caldron which seemed to be full of soup.
There's certainly too much pepper in that soup! Alice said to
herself, as well as she could for sneezing.
There was certainly too much of it in the air. Even the Duchess
sneezed occasionally; and as for the baby, it was sneezing and howling
alternately without a moment's pause. The only two creatures in the
kitchen that did not sneeze were the cook, and a large cat which was
sitting on the hearth and grinning from ear to ear.
Please, would you tell me," said Alice a little timidly, for she was








ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.


not quite sure whether it was good manners for her to speak first, why
your cat grins like that ? "
It's a Cheshire cat," said the Duchess, and that's why. Pig! "
She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice quite
jumped; but she saw in another moment that it was addressed to the
baby, and not to her, so she took courage, and went on again, -
I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I didn't
know that cats could grin."
They all can," said the Duchess-; and most of 'em do."
I don't know of any that do," Alice said very politely, feeling quite
pleased to have got into a conversation.
You don't know much," said the Duchess; "and that's a fact."
Alice did not at all like the tone of this remark, and thought it
would be as well to introduce some other subject of conversation. While
she was trying to fix on one, the cook took the caldron of soup off the
fire, and at once set to work throwing everything within her reach at
the Duchess and the baby; the fire-irons came first; then followed a
shower of saucepans, plates, and dishes. The Duchess took no notice
of them, even when they hit her; and the baby was howling so much
already that it was quite impossible to say whether the blows hurt it or
not.
Oh,please mind what you are doing cried Alice, jumping up and
down in an agony of terror. Oh, there goes his precious nose!" as
an unusually large saucepan flew close by it, and very nearly carried it off.
If everybody minded their own business," said the Duchess in a
hoarse growl, the world would go round a deal faster than it does."
"Which would not be an advantage," said Alice, who felt very glad
to get an opportunity of showing off a little of her knowledge. Just
think what work it would make with the day and night You see the
earth takes twenty-four hours to turn round on its axis "-
"Talking of axes," said the Duchess, chop off her head! "
Alice glanced rather anxiously at the cook, to see if she meant to
take thd hint; but the cook was busily stirring the soup, and seemed








PIG AND PEPPER.


not to be listening, so she went on again, Twenty-four hours I
think; or is it twelve ? I "
Oh, don't bother me," said the Duchess; I never could abide
figures." And with that she began nursing her child again, singing
a sort of lullaby to it as she did so, and giving it a violent shake at the
end of every line -

"Speak roughly to your little boy,
And beat him when he sneezes;
He only does it to annoy,
Because he knows it teases."
CHORUS (in which the cook and the baby joined).-"Wow! wow! wowt"
While the Duchess sang the second verse of the song, she kept
tossing. the baby violently up and down, and the poor little thing
howled so that Alice could hardly hear the words: -

"I speak severely to my boy,
I beat him when he sneezes;
For he can thoroughly enjoy
The pepper when he pleases!"
CHORUS. -" Wow! wow! wow!"

Here you may nurse it a bit, if you like said the Duchess to
Alice, flinging the baby at her as she spoke. I must go and get
ready to play croquet with the Queen;" and she hurried out of the
room. The cook threw a frying-pan after her as she went, but it just
missed her.
Alice caught the baby with some difficulty, as it was a queer-shaped
little creature, and held out its arms and legs in all directions, "just
like a star-fish," thought Alice. The poor little thing was snorting like
a steam-engine when she caught it, and kept doubling itself up and
straightening itself out again, so that altogether, for the first minute or
two, it was as much as she could do to hold it.
As soon as she had made out the proper way of nursing it (which
was to twist it up into a sort of knot, and then keep tight hold of its








ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.


right ear and left foot, so as to prevent its undoing itself), she carried
it out into the open air. If I don't take this child away with me,"
thought Alice, they're sure to kill it in a day or two. Wouldn't it be
murder to leave it behind ?" She said the last words out loud, and
the little thing grunted in reply (it had left off sneezing by this time).
" Don't grunt," said Alice; that's not at all a proper way of express-
ing yourself."
The baby grunted again, and Alice looked very anxiously into its
face to see what was the matter with it. There could be
no doubt that it had a very turn-up nose, much more
like a snout than a real nose; also its eyes were
getting extremely small for a baby. Altogether,
Alice did not like the look of the thing
> at all. "But perhaps it was only sob-
Sbing," she thought, and looked into its
eyes again to see if there were any tears.
S No, there were no tears. If you're
going to turn into a pig, my dear," said
Alice seriously, I'll have nothing more
to do with you. Mind now!" The poor
o little thing sobbed again (or grunted, it
was impossible to say which), and they
went on for some while in silence.
THE BABY GRUNTED AGAIN.
Alice was just beginning to think to
herself, Now, what am I to do with this creature when I get it
home ?" when it grunted again, so violently that she looked down
into its face in some alarm. This time there could be no mistake about
it; it was neither more nor less than a pig, and she felt that it would
be quite absurd for her to carry it any farther.
So she set the little creature down, and felt quite relieved to see it
trot away quietly into the wood. If it had grown up," she said to
herself, "it would have been a dreadfully ugly child; but it makes
rather a handsome pig, I think." And she began thinking over other








PIG AND PEPPER.


children she knew, who might do very well as pigs, and was just saying
to herself, If one only knew the right way to change them when
she was a little startled by seeing the Cheshire Cat sitting on a bough
of a tree a few yards off.
The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice. It looked good-natured,
she thought; still, it had very long claws, and a great many teeth, so
she felt it ought to be treated with respect.
Cheshire Puss," she began, rather timidly, as she did not at all
know whether it would like the name; however, it only grinned a lit-
tle wider. Come, it's pleased so far," thought Alice, and she went on,
"Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to walk from here?"
"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,". said
the Cat.
I don't much care where" said Alice.
"Then it doesn't matter which way you walk," said the Cat.
so long as I get somewhere," Alice added as an explanation.
"Oh, you're sure to do that," said the Cat, if you only walk
long enough."
Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried another
question. "What sort of people live about here?"
In that direction," the Cat said, waving its right paw round,
"lives a Hatter; and in that direction," waving the other paw,
"lives a March Hare. Visit either you like; they're both mad."
But I don't want to go among mad people," Alice remarked.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat; "we're all mad here.
I'm mad. You're mad."
"How do you know I'm mad ?" said Alice.
You must be," said the Cat, or you wouldn't have come here."
Alice didn't think that proved it at all; however, she went on;
" and how do you know that you're mad?"
To begin with," said the Cat, a dog's not mad. You grant -
that?"
I suppose so," said Alice.







ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.


Well, then," the Cat went on, you see, a dog growls when it's
angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm
pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad."
I call it purr-
_- -,- w ing, not growling,"
said Alice.
-" Call it what you
like," said the Cat.
Do you play cro-
quet with the Queen
to-day ?"
"I should like
it very much," said
Alice, "but I haven't
been invited yet."
iYou'll see me there," said the Cat, and
vanished.
Alice was not much surprised at this, she
was getting so well used to queer things hap-
pening. While she was still looking at the
Space where it had been, it suddenly appeared
S again.
"By-the-by, what became of the baby ?"
said the Cat, I'd nearly forgotten to ask."
"It turned into a pig," Alice answered very
quietly, just as if the Cat had come back in a
natural way.
THE CAT GRINNED. "I thought it would," said the Cat, and van-
ished again.
Alice waited a little, half expecting to see it again, but it did not
appear; and after a minute or two -she walked on in the direction in
which the March Hare was said to live. I've seen Hatters before,"
she said to herself; "the March H -; ill be much the most inte-








PIG AND PEPPER.


resting, and perhaps as this is May it won't be raving mad at least,
not so mad as it was in March." As she said this, she looked up, and
there was the Cat again, sitting on a branch of a tree.
Did you say pig, or fig? said the Cat.
I said pig," replied Alice; "and I wish you wouldn't keep ap-
pearing and vanishing so suddenly; you make one quite giddy."
"All right," said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite slowly,
beginning with the
end of the tail, and ,, -
ending with the grin,
which remained some
time after the rest of
it had gone.
"Well, I've often
seen a cat without a m
grin," thought Alice; '
" but a grin without t
a cat! It's the most p
curious thing I ever
"YOU'LL SEE ME THERE," SAID THE CAT.
saw in all my life!"
She had not gone much farther before she came in sight of the
house of the March Hare. She thought it must be the right house,
because the chimneys were shaped like ears, and the roof was thatched
with fur. It was so large a house that she did not like to go nearer
till she had nibbled some more of the left-hand bit of mushroom, and
raised herself to about two feet high; even then she walked up to-
ward it rather timidly, saying to herself, Suppose it should be raving
mad after all; I almost wish I'd gone to see the Hatter instead."








ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.


CHAPTER VII.

A MAD TEA-PARTY.

THERE was a table set out under a tree in front of the house, and
the March Hare and the Hatter were having tea at it. A dormouse
'was sitting between
them, fast asleep,
and the other two
were using it as a
I cushion, resting
sat dctheir elbows on it,
A and talking over its
head. "Very un-
i .l. ..i~ ~comfortable for the
Dormouse," thought
Alice; "only as it's
asleep, I suppose it
doesn't mind."
"YOUR HAIR WANTS CUTTING," SAID THE HATTER. The table was a
large one, but the three were all crowded together at one corner of
it: "No room! No room!" they cried out when they saw Alice
coming. There's plenty of room," said Alice indignantly, and she
sat down in a large armchair at one end of the table.
Have some wine," the March Hare said in an encouraging tone.
Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it but
tea. I don't see any wine," she remarked.
"There isn't any," said the March Hare.
"Then it wasn't very civil of you to offer it," said Alice angrily.








A MAD TEA-PARTY.


It wasn't very civil of you to sit down without being invited,"
said the March Hare.
I didn't know it was your table," said Alice; "it's laid for a
great many more than three."
"Your hair wants cutting," said the Hatter. He had been looking
at Alice for some time with great curiosity, and this was his first speech.
You should learn not to make personal remarks," Alice said with
some severity; it's very rude." r
The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this; but all he
raid was, Why is a raven like a writing-desk?"
Come, we shall have some fun now thought Alice. I'm glad
they've begun asking riddles. I believe I can guess that," she added
aloud.
Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to
it?" said the March Hare.
Exactly so," said Alice.
"Then you should say what you mean," the March Hare went on.
"I do," Alice hastily replied; "at least--at least I mean what
I say-that's the same thing, you know."
Not the same thing a bit! said the Hatter. "Why, you might
just as well say that I see what I eat' is the same thing as 'I eat
what I see!'"
"You might just as well say," added the March Hare, "that 'I
like what I get' is the same thing as 'I get what I like!'"
You might just as well say," added the Dormouse, who seemed
to be talking in his sleep, "that 'I breathe when I sleep' is the same
thing as 'I sleep when I breathe!' "
It is the same thing with you," said the Hatter; and here the
conversation dropped, and the party sat silent for a minute, while Alice
thought over all she could remember about ravens and writing-desks.
which wasn't much.
The Hatter was the first to break the silence.
"What day of the month is it?" he said, turning to Alice. He








58 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

had taken his watch out of his pocket, and was looking at it uneasily,
shaking it every now and then, and holding it to his ear.
Alice considered a little, and said, the fourth."
Two days wrong sighed the Hatter. I told you butter would
not suit the works he added, looking angrily at the March Hare.
It was the best butter," the March Hare meekly replied.
"Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well," the Hatter
grumbled; "you shouldn't have put it in with the bread-knife."
The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily; then he
dipped it into his cup of tea, and looked at it again ; but he could think
of nothing better to say than his first remark, It was the best butter,
you know."
Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity.
"What a funny watch!" she remarked. It tells the day of the
month, and doesn't tell what o'clock it is!"
Why should it ? muttered the Hatter.
Does your watch tell you what year it is ?"
Of course not," Alice replied very readily; but that's because it
stays the same year for such a long time together."
Which is just the case with mine," said the Hatter.
Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter's remark seemed to her
to have no sort of meaning in it, and yet it was certainly English. "I
don't quite understand you," she said, as politely as she could.
The Dormouse is asleep again," said the Hatter, and he poured a
little hot tea onto its nose.
The Dormouse shook his head impatiently, and said, without open-
ing his eyes, Of course; just what I was going to remark myself."
"Have you guessed the riddle yet?" the Hatter said, turning to
Alice again.
No; I give it up," Alice replied. "What's the answer?"
I haven't the slightest idea," said the Hatter.
Nor I," said the March Hare.
Alice sighed wearily. I think you might do something better







A MAD TEA-PARTY. 59

with the time," she said, than wasting it in asking riddles that have
no answers.
If you knew Time as well as I do," said the Hatter, you wouldn't
talk about wasting it. It's him."
I don't know what you mean," said Alice.
Of course you don't! the Hatter said, tossing his head contempt-
uously. I dare say you never even spoke to Time! "
Perhaps not," Alice cautiously replied; but I know I have to
beat time when I learn music."
"Ah, that accounts for it," said the Hatter. He won't stand
beating. Now, if you only kept on good terms with him, he'd do
almost anything you liked with the clock. For instance, suppose it
were nine o'clock in the morning, just time to begin lessons; you'd
only have to whisper a hint to Time, and round goes the clock in a
twinkling! Half-past one, time for dinner! "
(" I only wish it was," the March Hare said to itself in a whisper.)
"That would be grand, certainly," said Alice thoughtfully; "but
then I shouldn't be hungry for it, you know."
"Not at first, perhaps," said the Hatter;
but you could keep it to half-past one as
long as you liked." '
Is that the way you manage ? Alice
asked.
The Hatter shook his head mournfully.
"Not I," he replied. "We quarrelled last
March--just before he went mad, you
know" (pointing with his teaspoon at the -_
March Hare) it was at the great con-
cert given by the Queen of Hearts, and I
had to sing: THE HATTER SINGS.
"'Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!
How I wonder what you're at!'


You know the song, perhaps? "








60 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

I've heard something like it," said Alice.
It goes on, you know," the Hatter continued, in this way:-

"'Up above the world you fly,
Like a tea-tray in the sky.
Twinkle, twinkle "-

Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began singing in its sleep,
Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, ink, twinkle" and went on so long that they
had to pinch it to make it stop.
Well, I'd hardly finished the first verse," said the Hatter, when
the Queen bawled out He's murdering the time! Off with his head!'"
How dreadfully savage!" exclaimed Alice.
And ever since that," the Hatter went on in a mournful tone,
"he won't do a thing I ask! It's always six o'clock now."
A bright idea came into Alice's head. Is that the reason so many
tea-things are put out here ?" she asked.
Yes, that's it," said the Hatter with a sigh; it's always tea-time,
and we've no time to wash the things between whiles."
"Then you keep moving round, I suppose ?" said Alice.
Exactly so," said the Hatter; as the things get used up."
But when you come to the beginning again ?" Alice ventured to ask.
Suppose we change the subject," the March Hare interrupted, yawn-
ing. I'm getting tired of this. I vote the young lady tells us a story."
I'm afraid I don't know one," said Alice, rather alarmed at the
proposal.
Then the Dormouse shall! they both cried. Wake up, Dor-
mouse !" And they pinched it on both sides at once.
The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes. I wasn't asleep," he said in
a hoarse, feeble voice; I heard every word you fellows were saying."
"Tell us a story!" said the March Hare.
"Yes, please do !" pleaded Alice.
And be quick about it," added the Hatter, or you'll be asleep
again before it's done."







A MAD TEA-PARTY.


Once upon a time there were three little sisters," the Dormouse
began in a great hurry, "and their names were Elsie, Lacie, and
Tillie; and they lived at the bottom of a well "-
"What did they live on?" said Alice, who always took a great
interest in questions of eating, and drinking.
They lived on treacle," said the Dormouse, after thinking a min-
ute or two.
They couldn't have done that, you know," Alice gently remarked;
" they'd have been ill."
So they were," said the Dormouse; "very ill."
Alice tried a little to fancy to herself what such an extraordinary
way of living would be like, but it puzzled her too much; so she went
on, But why did they live at the bottom of a well ? "
Take some more tea," the March Hare said to Alice very
earnestly.
"I've had nothing yet," Alice replied in an offended tone so I
can't take more."
You mean, you can't take less," said the Hatter; it's very easy to
take more than nothing."
Nobody asked your opinion," said Alice.
Who's making personal remarks now ?" the Hatter asked trium-
phantly.
Alice did not quite know what to say to this; so she helped herself
to some tea and bread-and-butter, and then turned to the Dormouse,
and repeated her question. "Why did they live at the bottom of a well?"
The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it, and
then said, It was a treacle-well."
"There's no such thing!" Alice was beginning very angrily; but
the Hatter and the March Hare went, Sh! sh and the Dormouse
sulkily remarked, If you can't be civil, you'd better finish the story
for yourself."
No, please go on! Alice said very humbly; I won't interrupt
you again. I dare say there may be one."








ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.


One, indeed! said the Dormouse indignantly. However, he
consented to go on. And so these three sisters they were learn-
ing to draw, you know -
What did they draw? said Alice, quite forgetting her promise.
"Treacle," said the Dormouse, without considering at all this time.
I want a clean cup," interrupted the Hatter; let's all move one
place on."
He moved on as he spoke, and the Dormouse followed him; the
March Hare moved into the Dormouse's place, and Alice rather un-
willingly took the place of the March Hare. The Hatter was the only
one who got any advantage from the change; and Alice was a good
deal worse off than before, as the March Hare had just upset the milk-
jug into his plate.
Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began
very cautiously, But I don't understand. Where did they draw the
treacle from ? "
You can draw water out of a water-well," said the Hatter; "so I
think you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well eh, stupid ?"
But they were in the well," Alice said to the Dormouse, not
choosing to notice this last remark.
Of course they were," said the Dormouse "well in."
This answer so confused poor Alice that she let the Dormouse go
on for some time without interrupting it.
"They were learning to draw," the Dormouse went on, yawning
and rubbing its eyes, for it was getting very sleepy; and they drew
all manner of things everything that begins with an M "-
"Why with an M ?" said Alice.
"Why not ?" said the March Hare.
Alice was silent.
The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time, and was going off
into a doze; but on being pinched by the Hatter, it woke up again with
a little shriek, and went on, That begins with an M, such as mouse-
traps and the moon and memory and muchness, you know you say








A MAD TEA-PARTY.


things are much of a muchness,' did you ever see such a thing as a
drawing of a muchness ? "
Really, now you ask me," said Alice very much confused, I don't
think"-
"Then you shouldn't talk," said the Hatter.
This piece of rudeness was more than Alice could bear; she got up
in great disgust, and walked off. The Dormouse fell asleep instantly;
and neither of the others took
the least notice of her going,
though she looked back once
or twice, half hoping that they
would call after her; the last
time she saw them, they were
trying to put the Dormouse
into the teapot.
At any rate, I'll never go }
there again said Alice as she ,,4
picked her way through the
wood.
It's the stupidest tea-party
INTO THE TEA-POT.
I was ever at in all my life!"
Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had a door
leading right into it. "That's very curious!" she thought. But every-
thing's curious to-day. I think I may as well go in at once." And
in she went.
Once more she found herself in a long hall, and close to the little
glass table. Now, I'll manage better this time," she said to herself,
and began by taking the little golden key, and unlocking the door that
led into the garden. Then she set to work nibbling at the mushroom
(she had kept a piece of it in her pocket) till she was about a foot
high; then she walked down the little passage; then she found herself
at last in a beautiful garden, among the bright flower-beds and the cool
fountains.








ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.


CHAPTER VIII.

THE QUEEN'S CROQUET-GROUND.

A LARGE rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden ; the roses
growing on it were white, but there were three gardeners at it, busily
painting them red. Alice thought this a
very curious thing, and she went nearer
to watch them; and just as she came
up to them she heard one of them say,
Look out now, Five! Don't go splash-
ing paint over me like that! "
I couldn't help it," said Five in a
Ri sulky tone; Seven jogged my elbow."
I On which Seven looked up and said,
That's right, Five Always lay the
blame on others "
You'd better not talk! '"said Five.
"I heard the Queen say only yesterday
you deserved to be beheaded."
~~';;" What for ?" said the one who had
THE QUEEN'S GARDENERS. spoken first.
"That's none of your business, Two !" said Seven.
Yes, it is his business said Five, and I'll tell him; it was for
bringing the cook tulip-roots instead of onions."
Seven flung down the brush, and had just begun, Well, of all the
unjust things" when his eye chanced to fall upon Alice, as she stood
watching them, and he checked himself suddenly; the others looked
round also, and all of them bowed low.








THE QUEEN'S CROQUET-GROUND.


Would you tell me, please," said.Alice a little timidly, "why you
are painting those roses ?"
Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two. Two began, in
a low voice, Why, the fact is, you see, miss, this here ought to have
been a red rose-tree, and we put a white one in by mistake, and if the
Queen was to find it out, we should all have our heads cut off, you
know. So you see, miss, we're doing our best, afore she comes, to"-
At this moment Five, who had been anxiously looking across the gar-
den, called out, "The Queen! The Queen and the three gardeners
instantly threw themselves flat upon their faces. There was a sound
of many footsteps, and Alice looked round, eager to see the Queen.
First came ten soldiers carrying clubs; these were all shaped like
the three gardeners, oblong and flat, with their hands and feet at the
corners; next, the ten courtiers; these were ornamented all over with
diamonds, and walked two and two, as the soldiers did. After these
came the royal children; there were ten of them, and the little dears
came jumping merrily along hand in hand, in couples; they were all
ornamented with hearts. Next came the guests, mostly Kings and
Queens, and among them Alice recognized the White Rabbit; it was
talking in a hurried, nervous manner, smiling at everything that was
said, and went by without noticing her. Then followed the Knave of
Hearts, carrying the King's crown on a crimson velvet cushion; and
last of all this grand procession came THE KING AND QUEEN
OF HEARTS.
Alice was rather doubtful whether she ought not to lie down on her
face, like the three gardeners, but she could not remember ever having
heard of such a rule at processions; and besides, what would be the
use of a procession," she thought, if people had all to lie down on
their faces, so that they couldn't see it ? So she stood where she was
and waited.
When the procession came opposite to Alice, they all stopped and
looked at her, and the Queen said severely, "Who is this?" She
said it to the Knave of Hearts, who only bowed and smiled in reply.








ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.


Idiot," said the Queen, tossing her head impatiently; and turn-
ing to Alice, she went on, What's your name, child ? "
My name is Alice, so please your majesty," said Alice very po-
litely; but she added to herself, Why, they're only a pack of cards,
after all. I needn't be afraid of them.'
"And who are these ? said the Queen, pointing to the three gar-
deners who were lying round the rose-tree; for you see, as they were
lying on their faces, and the pattern on their backs was the same as the
rest of the pack, she could not tell whether they were gardeners, or
soldiers, or courtiers, or three of her own children.
How should I know ?" said Alice, surprised at her own courage.
It's no business of mine."
The Queen turned crimson with fury, and after glaring at'her for a
moment like a wild beast, began screaming, Off with her head Off" -
Nonsense! said Alice very loudly and decidedly, and the Queen
was silent.
The King laid his hand upon her arm, and timidly said, Consider,
my dear, she is only a child !"
The Queen turned angrily away from him; and said to the Knave,
"Turn them over! "
The Knave did so, very carefully, with one foot.
"Get up!" said the Queen in a shrill, loud voice; and the three
gardeners instantly jumped up, and began bowing to the King, the
Queen, the royal children, and everybody else.
Leave off that! screamed the Queen. You make me giddy."
And then, turning to the rose-tree, she went on, "What have you been
doing here ?"
May it please your majesty," said Two, in a very humble tone,
going down on one knee as he spoke, we were trying -
"I see!" said the Queen, who had meanwhile been examining
the roses. Off with their heads! and the procession moved on,
three of the soldiers remaining behind to execute the unfortunate
gardeners, who ran to Alice for protection.








THE QUEEN'S CROQUET-GROUND.


You sha'n't be beheaded said Alice, and she put them .nto a
large flower-pot that stood near. The three soldiers wandered about
for a minute or two, looking for them, and then quietly marched off
after the others.
Are their heads off? shouted the Queen.
Their heads are gone, if it please your majesty! the soldiers
shouted in reply.
That's right! shouted the Queen. Can you play croquet ?"
The soldiers were silent, and looked at Alice, as the question was
evidently meant for her.
"Yes! shouted Alice.
Come on, then roared the Queen; and Alice joined the pro-
cession, wondering very much what would happen next.
It's a very fine day! said a timid voice at her side. She was
walking by the White Rabbit, who was peeping anxiously into her face.
Very," said Alice; where's the Duchess?"
Hush! Hush! said the Rabbit in a low, hurried tone. He
looked anxiously over his shoulder as he spoke, and then raised him-
self up on tiptoe, put his mouth close to her ear, and whispered,
She's under sentence of execution."
What for ? said Alice.
Did you say, 'What a pity! '" the Rabbit asked.
No, I didn't," said Alice ; I don't think it's at all a pity. I said,
'What for ?' "
She boxed the Queen's ears" -the Rabbit began. Alice gave
a little scream of laughter. Oh, hush !" the Rabbit whispered in a
frightened tone. "The Queen will hear you! You see she came
rather late, and the Queen said"-
Get to your places shouted the Queen in a voice of thunder;
and people began running about in all directions, tumbling up against
each other; however, they got settled down in a minute or two, and
the game began.
Alice thought she had never seen such a curious croquet-ground in








ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.


her life; it was all ridges and furrows; the croquet-balls were live hedge
hogs, and the mallets live flamingoes, and the soldiers had to double
themselves up, and stand on their hands and feet, to make the arches.
The chief diffi-
culty Alice found at
first was in mana-
u going her flamingo.
n ot l She succeeded in
getting its body
tucked away, com-
fortably enough, un-
der her arm, with its
legs hanging down;
but generally, just
as .ie had got its
neck nicely straight-
St s ended out, and was
a going to give the
hedgehog a blow
with its head, it
S-w zould twist itself
S ,,--- round, and look up
into her face, with
such a puzzled ex-
pression that she
"OFF WITH HER HEAD I" SCREAMED THE QUEEN. could not help burst-
could not help burst-
ing out laughing; and when she had got its head down, and was
going to begin again, it was very provoking to find that the hedgehog
had unrolled itself, and was in the act of crawling away. Besides all
this, there was generally a ridge or a furrow in the way wherever she
wanted to send the hedgehog to; and as the doubled-up soldiers were
always getting up and walking off to other parts of the ground, Alice
soon came to the conclusion that it was a very difficult game indeed.







THE QUEEN'S CROQUET-GROUND.


The players all played at once without waiting for turns, quarrelling
all the while, and fighting for the hedgehogs; and in a very short time
the Queen was in a furious passion, and went stamping about, and
shouting, Off with his head! or, Off with her head about once
in a minute.
Alice began to feel very uneasy. To be sure, she had not as yet
had any dispute with the Queen, but she knew that it might happen
any minute; and then," thought she, "what would become of me?
They're dreadfully fond of beheading people here; the great wonder
is that there's any one left alive! "
She was looking about for some way of escape, and wondering
whether she could get away without being seen, when she noticed a
curious appearance in the air. It puzzled her very much at first; but
after watching it a minute or two she made it out to be a grin, and she
said to herself, "It's the Cheshire Cat; now I shall have somebody to
talk to."
"How are you getting on?" said the Cat, as soon as there was
mouth enough for it to speak with.
Alice waited till the eyes appeared, and then nodded. It's no
use speaking to it," she thought, till its ears have come, or at least
one of them." In another minute the whole head appeared; and then
Alice put down her flamingo, and began an account of the game, feeling
very glad she had some one to listen to her. The Cat seemed to think
that there was enough of it now in sight, and no more of it appeared.
I don't think they play at all fairly," Alice began, in rather a com-
plaining tone; and they all quarrel so dreadfully one can't hear one's
self speak -and they don't seem to have any rules in particular; at
least, if there are, nobody attends to them and you've no idea how
confusing it is all the things being alive; for instance, there's the arch
I've got to go through next walking about at the other end of the
ground; and I should have croqueted the Queen's hedgehog just now,
only it ran away when it saw mine coining! "
How do you like the Queen ?" said the Cat in a low voice.








ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.


Not at all," said Alice; "she's so extremely Just then she
noticed that the Queen was close behind her, listening; so she went
on, likely to win, that it's hardly worth while finishing the game."
The Queen smiled and passed on.
"Who are you talking to?" said the King, coming up to Alice,
and looking at the Cat's head with great
curiosity.
"It's a friend of mine a Cheshire
Cat," said Alice; "allow me to introduce
it."
"I don't like the look of it at all," said
the King; "it may kiss my hand if it
likes."
I'd rather not," the Cat remarked.
Don't be impertinent," said the King;
and don't look at me like that! He
got behind Alice as he spoke.
^- "A cat may look at a king," said
Alice. "I've read that in some book,
THE MALLETS WERE LIVE FLAMINGOES but I don't remember where."
"Well, it must be removed," said the King very decidedly; and he
called to the Queen, who was passing at the moment, My dear! I
wish you would have this Cat removed! "
.The Queen had only one way of settling all difficulties, great
or small. Off with his head!" she said, without even looking
round.
I'll fetch the executioner myself," said the King eagerly, and 'he
hurried off.
Alice thought she might as well go back and see how the game
was going on, as she heard the Queen's voice in the distance, scream-
ing with passion. She had already heard her sentence three of the
players to be executed for having missed their turns; and she did not
like the look of things at all, as the game was in such confusion that








THE QUEEN'S CROQUET-GROUND.


she never knew whether it was her turn or not. So she went off in
search of her hedgehog.
The hedgehog was engaged in a fight with another hedgehog, which
seemed to Alice an excellent opportunity for croqueting one of them
with the other; the only difficulty was that her flamingo was gone
across to the other side of the garden, where Alice could see it trying
in a helpless sort of way to fly up into a tree.
By the time she had caught the flamingo and brought it back, the
fight was over, and both the hedgehogs were out of sight; "but it
doesn't matter much," thought Alice, as all the arches are gone from


this side of the ground."
So she tucked it away under
her arm, that it might not
escape again, and went back
to have a little-more conver-
sation with her friend.
When she got back to
the Cheshire Cat, she was
surprised to find quite a
large crowd collected round
it; there was a dispute go-
ing on between the execu-
tioner, the King, and the
Queen, who were all talk-
ing at once, while all the
rest were quite silent, and
looked very uncomfortable.
The moment Alice ap-
peared she was appealed to
by all three to settle the
question; and they repeated


---~ -I s-r














"THEY WERE ALL TALKING AT ONCE."

their arguments to her, though, as they


all spoke at once, she found it very hard to make out exactly what
they said.








ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.


The executioner's argument was, that you couldn't cut off a head
unless there was a body to cut it off from; that he had never had to do
such a thing before, and he wasn't going to begin at his time of life.
The King's argument was, that anything' that had a head could
be beheaded, and that you weren't to talk nonsense.
The Queen's argument was, that if something wasn't done about
it in less than no time, she'd have everybody executed, all round.
(It was this last remark that had made the whole party look so grave
and anxious.)
Alice could think of nothing else to say but It belongs to the
Duchess; you'd better ask her about it."
"She's in prison," the Queen said to the executioner; fetch her
here." And the executioner went off like an arrow.
The Cat's head began fading away the moment he was. gone, and
by the time he had come back with the Duchess it had entirely dis-
appeared; so the King and the executioner ran wildly up and down
looking for it, while the rest of the party went back to the game.


-------- ---







THE MOCK TURTLE'S STORY.


CHAPTER IX.

THE MOCK TURTLE'S STORY.

You can't think how glad I am to see you again, you dear old
thing," said the Duchess, as she tucked her arm affectionately into
Alice's, and they walked off together.
Alice was very glad to find her in
such a pleasant temper, and thought
to herself that perhaps it was only the
pepper that had made her so savage
when they met in the kitchen. "When
I'm a Duchess," she said to herself
(not in a very hopeful tone though),
"I won't have any pepper in my kitchen
at all. Soup does very well without.
Maybe it's always pepper that makes
people hot-tempered," she went on,
very much pleased at having found out
a new kind of rule, and vinegar that
makes them sour- and camomile that
makes them bitter- and-and barley- -
sugar and such things that make chil- "YOURE THINKING ABOUT SOMETHING.
dren sweet-tempered. I .only wish people knew that; then they
wouldn't be so stingy about it, you know"-
She had quite forgotten the Duchess by this time, and was a little
startled when she heard her voice close to her ear. "'You're think-
ing about something, my dear, and that makes you forget to talk. I
can't tell you just now what the moral of that is, but I shall remem-
ber it in a bit."








ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.


"Perhaps it hasn't one," Alice ventured to remark.
"Tut, tut, child! said the Duchess. Everything's got a moral,
if only you can find it." And she squeezed herself up closer to Alice's
side as she spoke.
Alice did not much like her keeping so close to her; first, be-
cause the Duchess was very ugly, and secondly, because she was
exactly the right height to rest her chin on Alice's shoulder, and it was
an uncomfortably sharp chin. However, she did not like to be rude,
so she bore it as well as she could.
"The game's going on rather better now," she said by way of
keeping up the conversation a little.
'Tis so," said the Duchess; "and the moral of that is Oh, 'tis
love, 'tis love, that makes the world go round!' "
Somebody said," Alice whispered, that it's done by everybody
minding their own business! "
"Ah, well! It means much the same thing," said the Duchess,
digging her sharp little chin into Alice's shoulder, as she added; "and
the moral of that is, 'Take care of the sense, and the sounds will
take care of themselves.'"
How fond she is of finding morals .in things Alice thought to
herself.
"I daresay you're wondering why I don't put my am round your
waist," said the Duchess after a pause. "The reason is, at I'm doubt-
ful about the temper of your flamingo.. Shall I try the experiment?"
He might bite," Alice cautiously replied, not feeling at all anxious
to have the experiment tried.
Very true," said the Duchess; flamingoes and mustard both bite.
And the moral of that is, Birds of a feather flock together.' "
Only mustard isn't a bird," Alice remarked.
Right, as usual," said the Duchess. What a clear way you have
of putting things! "
It's a mineral, I think," said Alice.
Of course it is," said the Duchess, who seemed ready to agree to







THE MOCK TURTLE'S STORY.


everything that Alice said. There's a large mustard-mine near here.
And the moral of that is, 'The more there is of mine, the less there is
of yours."
Oh, I know! exclaimed Alice, who had not attended to this last
remark; it's a vegetable. It doesn't look like one, but it is."
I quite agree with you," said the Duchess. And the moral of
that is, Be what you would seem to be,' or, if you'd like it put more
simply, 'Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it
might appear, to others that what you were or might have been was
not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them
to be otherwise.' "
I think I should understand that better," Alice said very politely,
" if I had it written down; but I can't quite follow it as you say it."
That's nothing to what I could say if I chose," the Duchess
replied in a pleased tone.
"Pray don't trouble yourself to say it any longer than that," said Alice.
Oh, don't talk about trouble said the Duchess. I make you
a present of everything I've said as yet."
"A cheap sort of present!" thought Alice. "I'm glad they don't
give birthday presents like that!" But she did not venture to say it
out loud.
"Thinking gain?" the Duchess asked, with another dig of her
sharp little chih.
I've a right to think," said Alice sharply, for she was beginning to
feel a little worried. Just about as much right," said the Duchess,
"as pigs have to fly. And the m" -
But here, to Alice's great surprise, the Duchess' voice died away,
even in the middle of her favorite word moral," and the arm that was
linked into hers began to tremble. Alice looked up, and there stood
the Queen in front of them, with her arms folded, frowning like a
thunderstorm.
A fine day, your majesty," the Duchess began in a low, weak voice.
Now, I give you fair warning," shouted the Queen, stamping on








ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.


the ground as she spoke; either you or your head must be off, and
that in about half no time Take your choice "
The Duchess took her choice, and was gone in a moment.
Let's go on with, the game," the Queen said to Alice; and Alice
was too much frightened to say a word, but slowly followed her back to
the croquet-ground.
The other guests had taken advantage of the Queen's absence, and
were resting in the shade. However, the moment they saw her they
hurried back to the game, the Queen merely remarking that a moment's
delay would cost them their lives.
All the time they were playing, the Queen never left off quarrelling
with the other players, and shouting Off with his head! or, Off
with her head! "
Those whom she sentenced were taken into custody by the soldiers,
who of course had to leave off being arches to do this, so that by the
end of half an hour
or so there were no
TE Catches left, and all the
players, except the
King, the Queen, and
Alice, were in custody,
~ I, nand under sentence of
execution.
Then the Queen left
off, quite out of breath,
and she said to Alice,
Have you seen the
THEY CAME UPON A GRYPHON. Mock Turtle yet ? "

No," said Alice; I don't even know what a Mock Turtle is."
It's the thing Mock Turtle soup is made from," said the Queen.
I never saw one, or heard of one," said Alice.
Come on, then," said the Queen, "and he shall tell you his history."
As they walked off together, Alice heard the King say in a low








THE MOCK TURTLE'S STORY.


voice to the company generally, You are all pardoned."-" Come,
that's a good thing! she said to herself, for she had felt quite unhappy
at the number of executions the Queen had ordered.
They very soon came upon a Gryphon, lying fast asleep in the sun.
(If you don't know what a Gryphon is, look at the picture.) Up,
lazy thing! said the Queen, and take this young lady to see the
Mock Turtle, and to hear his history. I must go back and see after
some executions I have ordered;" and she walked off, leaving Alice
alone with the Gryphon. Alice did not quite like the look of the crea-
ture, but. on the whole she thought it would be quite as safe to stay
with it as to go-after that savage Queen; so she waited.
The Gryphon sat up and rubbed his eyes; then it watched the
Queen till she was out of sight; then it chuckled. What fun!"
said the Gryphon, half to itself, half to Alice.
What is the fun ?" said Alice.
"Why, she," said the Gryphon. It's all her fancy, that; they
never executes nobody, you know. Come on!"
"' Everybody says 'come on!' here," thought Alice, as she went
slowly after it. I never was so ordered about before in all my life;
never!"
They had not gone far before they saw the Mock Turtle in the dis-
tance, sitting sad and lonely on a little ledge of rock; and as they came
nearer, Alice could hear him sighing as if his heart would break. She
pitied him deeply. "What is his sorrow?" she asked the Gryphon;
and the Gryphon answered, very nearly in the same words as before,
" It's all his fancy, fhat; he hasn't got no sorrow, you know. Come on !"
So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who looked at them with large
eyes full of tears, but said nothing.
"This here young lady," said the Gryphon, ," she wants for to know
your history, she do."
I'll tell it her," said the Mock Turtle in a deep, hollow tone. Sit
down both of you, and don't speak a word till I've finished."
So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some minutes. Alice








ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.


thought to herself, I don't see how he can ever finish, if he doesn't
begin." But she waited patiently.
"Once," said the Mock Turtle at last, with a deep sigh," I was a
real Turtle."
These words were followed by a very long silence, broken only by
an occasional exclamation of Hjckrrh! from the Gryphon, and the
constant heavy sighing of the Mock Turtle. Alice was very nearly
getting up and saying, Thank you, sir, for your interesting story; but
she could not help thinking there must be more to come, so she sat still
and said nothing.
-- When we were
little," the Mock Tur-
S---tle went on at last
more calmly, though
SYstill sobbing a little
now and then, we
went to school in the
Ssea. The master was
an old Turtle we
used to call him Tor-
a toise -
"Why did you call
him Tortoise, if he
wasn't one ?" Alice
asked.
We called him
Tortoise because he'
S__ taught us," said the
Mock Turtle angrily;
THE MOCK TURTLE TELLS HIS STORY. really, you are very
dull "
You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking such a simple
question," added the Gryphon; and then they both sat silent and








THE MOCK TURTLE'S STORY.


looked at poor Alice, who felt ready to sink into the earth. At last the
Gryphon said to the Mock Turtle, Drive on, old fellow! Don't be
all day about it! and he went on in these words:-
"Yes, we went to school in the sea, though you mayn't believe it" -
I never said I didn't! interrupted Alice.
"You did," said the Mock Turtle.
"Hold your tongue added the Gryphon, before Alice could speak
again. The Mock Turtle went on.
We had the best of educations in fact, we went to school every
day"-
I've been to a day-school too," said Alice; "you needn't be so
proud as all that."
With extras ?" asked the Mock Turtle a little anxiously.
"Yes," said Alice; we learned French and music."
And washing ?" said the Mock Turtle.
Certainly not said Alice indignantly.
"Ah then yours wasn't a really good -school," said the Mock Tur-
tle in a tone of great relief.: "Now at ours they had at the end of the
bill, 'French, music, and washing- extra.' "
"You couldn't have wanted it much," said Alice; "living at the
bottom of the sea."
I couldn't afford to learn it," said the Mock Turtle with a sigh.
" I only took the regular course."
"What was that?" inquired Alice.
Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with," the Mock Turtle
replied; and then the different branches of Arithmetic, -Ambition,
Distraction, Uglification, and Derision."
I never heard of Uglification,'" Alice ventured to say. What
is it ?"
The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise. Never heard
of uglifying it exclaimed. You know what to beautify is, I suppose?"
"Yes," said Alice doubtfully; "it means --o make anything
- prettier."








ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.


Well, then," the Gryphon went on, "if you don't know what to
uglify is, you are a simpleton."
Alice did not feel encouraged to ask any more questions about it, so
she turned to the Mock Turtle and said, What else had you to learn ? "
Well, there was Mystery," the Mock Turtle replied, counting off
the subjects on his flappers- Mystery, ancient and modern, with Sea-
ography; then Drawling- the Drawling-master was an old conger-eel
that used to come once a week; he taught us Drawling,' Stretching,
and Fainting in Coils."
What was that like ? said Alice.
"Well, I can't show it to you myself," the'Mock Turtle said; "I'm
too stiff. And the Gryphon never learned it."
Hadn't time," said the Gryphon ; I went to the Classical master,
though. He was an old crab, he was."
"I never went to him," the Mock Turtle said with a sigh; "he
taught Laughing and Grief, they used to say."
So he did, so he did," said the Gryphon, sighing in his turn; and
both creatures hid their faces in their paws.
And how many hours a day did you do lessons? said Alice, in a
hurry to change the subject.
Ten hours the first day," said the Mock Turtle ; nine the next,
and so on."
What a curious plan exclaimed Alice.
That's the reason they're called lessons," the Gryphon remarked;
" because they lessen from day to day."
This was quite a new idea to Alice, and she thought it over a little
before she made her next remark. Then the eleventh day must have
been a holiday? "
Of course it was," said the Mock Turtle.
And how did you manage on the twelfth ? Alice went on eagerly.
That's enough about lessons," the Gryphon interrupted in a very
decided tone. Tell her something about the games now."








THE LOBSTER QUADRILLE.


CHAPTER X.

THE LOBSTER QUADRILLE.

THE Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and drew the back of one flapper
across his eyes. He looked at Alice and tried to speak, but for a min-
ute or two sobs choked his
voice. Same as if he had a
bone in his throat," said the
Gryphon; and it set to work
shaking him and punching him
in the back. At last the Mock
Turtle recovered his voice, and,
with tears running down his
cheeks, he went on again, -
You may not have lived
much under the sea" (,I ,I
haven't," said Alice).- "and
perhaps you were never even
introduced to a Lobster"-
(Alice began to say, I once
tasted "- but checked herself -
hastily, and said, "No, never")
- so you can have no idea "'LETS TRY THE FIRST FIGURE:' SAID THE MOCK TURTLE.
what a delightful thing a Lobster Quadrille is."
No, indeed," said Alice. What sort of a dance is it ? "
Why," said the Gryphon, you form a line along the seashore"-
Two lines cried the Mock Turtle. Seals, turtles, salmon, and
so on ; then, when you've cleared all the jelly-fish out of the way -








ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.


"That generally takes some time," interrupted the Gryphon.
You advance twice "-
Each with a lobster as a partner cried the Gryphon.
Of course," the Mock Turtle said; advance twice, set to part-
ners-
Change lobsters, and retire in same order," continued the Gryphon.
"Then you know," the Mock Turtle went on, you throw the "-
"The lobsters !" shouted the Gryphon, with a bound into the air.
As far out to sea as you can "-
Swim after them screamed the Gryphon.
Turn a somersault in the sea cried the Mock Turtle, capering
wildly about.
Change lobsters again! yelled the Gryphon at the top of its voice.
Back to land again, and that's all the first figure," said the
Mock Turtle, suddenly dropping his voice; and the two creatures, who
had been jumping about like mad things all this time, sat down again
very sadly and quietly, and looked at Alice.
It must be a very pretty dance," said Alice timidly.
"Would you like to see a little of it ?" said the Mock Turtle.
"Very much indeed," said Alice.
Let's try the first figure !" said the Mock Turtle to the Gryphon.
"We can do it without lobsters, you know. Which shall sing?"
Oh, you sing," said the Gryphon. I've forgotten the words."
So they began solemnly dancing round and round Alice, every now
and then treading on her toes when they passed too close, and waving
their fore paws to mark the time, while the Mock Turtle sang this, very
slowly and sadly:-

"'Will you walk a little faster!' said a whiting to a snail,
'There's a porpoise close behind us, and he's treading on my tail.
See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance!
They are waiting on the shingle will you come and join the dance ?
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the dance?
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the dance?








THE LOBSTER QUADRILLE.


'You can really have no notion how delightful it will be
When they take us up and throw us, with the lobsters, out to sea!'
But the snail replied, 'Too far, too far I' and gave a look askance-
Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he would not join the dance.
Would not, could not, would not, could not, would not join the dance.
Would not, could not, would not, could not, could not join the dance.

What matters it how far we go ?' his scaly friend replied,
'There is another shore, you know, upon the other side.
The further off from England the nearer is to France;
Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance.
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the dance?
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the dance?'"

"Thank you; it's a very interesting dance to watch," said Alice,
feeling very glad that it was over at last; and I do so like that curi-
ous song about the whiting "
Oh, as to the whiting," said the Mock Turtle, "they-you've
seen them, of course?"
"Yes," said Alice; I've often seen them at dinn she checked
herself hastily.
I don't know where Dinn may be," said the Mock Turtle; but if
you've seen them so often, of course you know what they're like."
I believe so," Alice replied thoughtfully. "They have their tails
in their mouths; and they're all over crumbs."
"You're wrong about the crumbs," said the Mock Turtle; crumbs
would all wash off in the sea. But they have their tails in their
mouths; and the reason is"- here the Mock Turtle yawned and shut
his eyes-" tell her about the reason and all that," he said to the
Gryphon.
The reason is," said the Gryphon; that they would go with the
lobsters to the dance. So they got thrown out to sea. So they had
to fall a long way. So they got their tails fast in their mouths. So
they couldn't get them out again. That's all."
"Thank you," said Alice, it's very interesting. I never knew so
much about a whiting before."








ATTCE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.


I can tell you more than that, if you like," said the Gryphon.
"Do you know why it's called a whiting?"
"I never thought about it," said Alice. "Why?"
It does the boots and shoes," the Gryphon replied very solemnly.
Alice was thoroughly puzzled. Does the boots and shoes she
repeated in a wondering tone.
Why, what are your shoes done with ? said the Gryphon. "I
mean, what makes them so shiny?"
Alice looked down at them, and considered a little before she gave
her answer. "They're done with blacking, I believe."
Boots and shoes under the sea," the Gryphon went on in a deep
voice, are done with whiting. Now you know."
"And what are they made of?" Alice asked in a tone of great
curiosity.
Soles and eels, of course," the Gryphon replied rather impatiently;
"any shrimp could have told you that."
If I'd been the whiting," said Alice, whose thoughts were still
running on the song, "I'd have said to the porpoise, 'Keep back, please;
we don't want you with us!'"
"They were obliged to have him with them," the Mock Turtle said;
no wise fish would go anywhere without a porpoise."
Wouldn't it really ? said Alice in a tone of great surprise.
Of course not," said the'Mock Turtle; why, if a fish came to me,
and told me he was going a journey, I should say, 'With what porpoise?'"
Don't you mean 'purpose'?" said Alice.
I mean what I say," the Mock Turtle replied in an offended tone.
And the Gryphon added, Come, let's hear some of your adventures."
I could tell you my adventures beginning from this morning,"
said Alice a little timidly; "but it's no use going back to yesterday,
because I was a different person then."
Explain all that," said the Mock Turtle.
"No, no! the adventures first," said the Gryphon in an impatient
tone; explanations take such a dreadful time."








THE LOBSTER QUADRILLE.


So Alice began telling them her adventures from the time when she
first saw the White Rabbit; she was a little nervous about it just at
first, the two creatures got so close to her, one on each side, and opened
their eyes and mouths so very wide, but she gained courage as she
went on. Her listeners were perfectly quiet till she got to the part
about her repeating, You are old, Father William," to the Cater-
pillar, and the words all coming different; and then the Mock Turtle
drew a long breath, and said, "That's
very curious."
"It's all about as curious as it can
be," said the Gryphon.
It all came different!" the Mock
Turtle repeated thoughtfully. I should
like to hear her try and repeat something
now. Tell her to begin." He looked at
the Gryphon as if he thought it had some
kind of authority over Alice.
Stand up and repeat, Tis the voice
of the sluggard,'" said the Gryphon.
How the creatures order one about,
and make, one repeat lessons!" thought
Alice. "I might just as well be-at school
at once."
However, she got up, and began to
repeat it.; but her head was so full of the "I MUST SUGAR MY HAIR," SAYS THE
Lobster Quadrille that she hardly knew LOBSTER.
what she was saying, and the words came very queer indeed:-
"'Tis the voice of the lobster; I heard him declare,
'You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair.'
As a duck with its eyelids; so he with his nose,
Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out his toes."
That's different from what I used to say when I was a child,"
said the Gryphon.







ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.


"Well, I never heard it before," said the Mock Turtle; "but it
sounds uncommon nonsense."
Alice said nothing; she had sat down again with her face in her
hands, wondering if anything would ever happen in a natural way again.
I should like to have it explained," said the Mock Turtle.
She can't explain it," said the Gryphon hastily. Go on with
the next verse."
But about his toes ?" the Mock Turtle persisted. How could he
turn them out with his nose, you know?"
It's the first position in dancing," Alice said; but she was dread-
fully puzzled by the whole thing, and longed to change the subject.
Go on with the next verse," the Gryphon repeated impatiently;
" it begins, I assed by his garden.'"
Alice did not dare to disobey, though she felt sure it would all come
wrong; and she went on in a trembling voice:-

"I passed by his garden, and marked, with one eye,
How the owl and the oyster were sharing the pie."

"'What is the use of repeating all that stuff," the Mock Turtle inter-
rupted, if you don't explain it as you go on ? It's by far the most
confusing thing I ever heard."
"Yes, I think you'd better leave off," said the Gryphon; and Alice
was only too glad to do so.
Shall we try another figure of the Lobster Quadrille ?" the Gryphon
went on. Or would you like the Mock Turtle to sing you a song ? "
Oh, a song, please, if the Mock Turtle would be so kind," Alice
replied, so eagerly that the Gryphon said, in a rather offended tone, -
"Hm!" No accounting for tastes! Sing her Turtle sou,' will
you, old fellow?"
The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and began, in a voice sometimes
choked with sobs, to sing this: -

"Beautiful Soup, so rich and green,
Waiting in a hot tureen!








THE LOBSTER QUADRILLE. 87

Who for such dainties would not stoop?
Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!
Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!
Beau ootiful Soo oop!
Beau ootiful Soo oop!
Soo oop of the e e evening,
Beautiful, beautiful Soup!

.Beautiful Soup!. Who cares for fish,
Game, or any other dish?
Who would not give all else for two p
ennyworth only of beautiful Soup?
Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup?
Beau ootiful Soo oop!
Beau ootiful Soo oop !
Soo oop of the e e evening,
Beautiful, beauti- FUL SOUP! "

Chorus again," cried the Gryphon; and the Mock Turtle had just
begun to repeat it, when a cry of "The trial's beginning," was heard
in the distance.
Come on," cried the Gryphon; and taking Alice by the hand, it
hurried off, without waiting for the end of the song.
What trial is it ? Alice panted as she ran; but the Gryphon only
answered, '.' Come on," and ran the faster, while more and more faintly
came, carried on -he breeze that followed them, the melancholy words: -

Soo oop of the e e evening,
Beautiful, beautiful Soup "




- 5* '



88 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.






CHAPTER XI.

WHO STOLE THE TARTS?

THE KING and Queen of Hearts were seated on their throne when
they arrived, with a great crowd assembled about them, all sorts of
little birds and beasts, as well as the whole pack of cards. The Knave
was standing before them, in chains, with a soldier on each side to
guard him; and near the King was the White Rabbit, with a trumpet
in one hand, and a scroll of parchment in the other. In the very mid-
dle of the court was a table with a large dish of tarts upon it. They
looked so good that it made Alice quite hungry to look at them. "I
wish they'd get the trial done," she thought, and hand round the
refreshments." But there seemed to be no chance of this, so she
began looking at everything about her to pass away the time.
Alice had never been in a court of justice before; but she had read
about them in books, and she was quite pleased to find that she knew
the name of nearly everything there. "That's the judge," she said to
herself, because of his great wig."
The judge, by the way, was the King; and as he wore his crown
over the wig (look at the frontispiece if you want to see how he did
it), he did not look at all comfortable, and it was certainly not becoming.
"And that's the jury-box," thought Alice; and those twelve crea-
tures (she was obliged to say creatures," you see, because some of
them were animals, and some were birds), I suppose they are the
jurors." She said this last word two or three times over to herself,
being rather proud of it; for she thought, and rightly too, that very
few little girls of her age knew the meaning of it at all. However,
jurymenn" would have done just as well.







WHO STOLE THE TARTS? 89

The twelve jurors were all writing very busily on slates. What
are they doing ?" Alice whispered to the Gryphon. They can't have
anything to put down yet, before the trial's begun."
They're putting down their names," the Gryphon whispered in
reply, for fear they should forget them before the end of the trial."
Stupid things Alice began in a loud, indignant voice; but she
stopped herself hastily, for the White Rabbit cried out, Silence in
the court! and the King put on his spectacles and looked anxiously
round, to make out who was talking.
Alice could see, as well as if she were looking over their shoulders,
that all the jurors were writing down stupid things! on their slates;
and she could even make out that one of them didn't know how to
spell stupid," and that he had to ask
his neighbor to tell him. A nice mud-
dle their slates'll be in before the trial's
over! thought Alice.
One of the jurors had a pencil that
squeaked. This, of course, Alice could
not stand; and she went round the court
and got behind him, and very soon found
an opportunity of taking it away. She
did it so quickly that the poor little juror
(it was Bill, the Lizard) could not make
out at all what had become of it; so,
after hunting all about for it, he was
obliged to write with one finger for the rfjt--
rest of the day; and this was of very lit- THE WHITE RABBIT AS HERALD.
tie use, as it left no mark on the slate.
Herald, read the accusation! said the King.
On this the White Rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet, and
then unrolled the parchment scroll, and read as follows:-
"The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts,
All on a summer day;




'" M


90 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts,
And took them quite away!"
Consider your verdict," the King said to the jury.
Not yet, not yet! the Rabbit hastily interrupted. There's a
great deal to come before that!"
Call the first witness," said the King; and the White Rabbit blew
three blasts on the trumpet, and called out, First witness "
The first witness was the Hatter. He came in with a teacup in one
hand, and a piece of bread-and-butter in the other. I beg pardon,
your majesty," he began, "for bringing these in; but I hadn't quite fin-
ished my tea when I was sent for."
"You ought to have finished," said the King. When did you
begin ?"
The Hatter looked at the March Hare, who had followed him into
the court, arm-in-arm with the Dormouse. Fourteenth of March, I
tkink it was," he said.
Fifteerith," said the March Hare.
"Sixteenth," added the Dormouse.
Write that down," the King said to the jury; and the jury eagerly
wrote down all three dates on their slates, and then added them up,
and reduced the answer to shillings and pence.
"Take off your hat," the King said to the Hatter.
It isn't mine," said the Hatter.
".Stolen/" the King exclaimed, turning to the jury, who instantly
made a memorandum of the fact.
I keep them to sell," the Hatter added as an explanation; "I've
none of my own. I'm a hatter."
Here the Queen put on her spectacles, and began staring hard
at the Hatter, who turned pale and fidgeted.
Give your evidence," said the King; and don't be nervous, or
I'll have you executed on the spot."
This did not seem to encourage the witness at all. He kept shift-
ing from one foot to the other, looking uneasily at the Queen, and







HO STOLE THE TARTS?


in his confusion he bit a large piece out of his teacup instead of the
bread-and-butter.
Just at this moment Alice felt a very curious sensation, which puz-
zled her a good deal until she made out what it was; she was begin-
ning to grow larger again, and she thought at first she would get up
and leave the court; but on second thoughts she decided to remain
where she was as long as there was room
for her.
I wish you wouldn't squeeze so," said -
the Dormouse, who was sitting next to her.
" I can hardly breathe."
I can't help it," said Alice very meekly;
" I'm growing,"
You've no right to grow here," said the
Dormouse.
Don't talk nonsense," said Alice more
boldly; "you know you're growing too."
"Yes, but I grow at a reasonable pace," -
said the Dormouse; not in that ridiculous
fashion." And he got up very sulkily, and THE WRETCHED HATTER SHOOK
crossed over to the other side of the court. HIS SHOES OFF.
All this time the Queen had never left off staring at the Hatter;
and just as the Dormouse crossed the court, she said to one of the
officers of the court, Bring me the list of the singers in the last con-
cert !" on which the wretched Hatter trembled so that he shook both
his shoes off.
"Give your evidence," the.King repeated angrily, "or I'll have you
executed, whether you're nervous or not."
I'm a poor man, your majesty," the Hatter began in a trembling
voice; "and I hadn't but just begun my tea not above a week or
so and what with the bread-and-butter getting so thin and the
twinkling of the tea" -
"The twinkling of what said the King.







ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.


It began with the tea," the Hatter replied.
Of course twinkling begins with a T! said the King sharply.
"Do you take me for a dunce? Go on "
I'm a poor man," the Hatter went on, and most things twinkled
after that only the March Hare said -
I didn't! the March Hare interrupted in a great hurry.
You did !" said the Hatter.
I denjr it," said the March Hare.
He denies it," said the King; leave out that part."
Well, at any rate, the Dormouse said" -the Hatter went on,
looking anxiously round to see if he would deny it too; but the
Dormouse denied nothing, being fast asleep.
After that," continued the Hatter, I cut some more bread-and-
butter" -
But what did the Dormpuse say? one of the jury asked.
"That I can't remember," remarked the Hatter.
You must remember," said the King, or I'll have you executed."
The miserable Hatter dropped his teacup and bread-and-butter, and
went down on one knee. I'm a poor man, your majesty," he began.
You're a very poor speaker," said the King.
Here one of the guinea-pigs cheered, and was immediately sup-
pressed by the officers of the court. (As that is rather a hard word, I
will just explain to you how it was done. They had a large canvas
bag, which tied up at the mouth with strings; into this they slipped the
guinea-pig, head first, and then sat upon it.)
I'm glad I've seen that done," thought Alice. I've so often read
in the newspapers, at the end of trials, 'There was some attempt at ap-
plause, which was immediately suppressed by the officers of the court,'.
and I never understood what it meant till now."
If that's all you know about it, you may stand' down," continued
the King.
I can't go rio lower," said the Hatter ; I'm on the floor, as it is."
"Then you may sit down," the King replied.








WHO STOLE THE TARTS ?


Here the other guinea-pig cheered, and was suppressed.
Come, that finishes the guinea-pigs! thought Alice. Now we
shall get on better."
I'd rather finish my tea," said the Hatter, with an anxious look at
the Queen, who was reading the list of singers.
You may go," said the King; and the Hatter hurriedly left the
court, without even waiting to put his shoes on.
And just take his head off outside," the Queen added to one of
the officers; but the Hatter was out of sight before the officer could get
to the door.
Call the next witness !" said the King.
The next witness was the Duchess' cook, who carried the pepper-box
in her hand; 'and Alice guessed who it was, even before she got into
the court, by the way the people
near the door began sneezing all at
once.
Give your evidence," said the
King.
Sha'n't," said the cook.
The King looked anxiously at
the White Rabbit, who said in a low
voice, Your majesty must cross .
examine this witness."
SWell, if I must, I must," the
THE HATTER LEFT HURRIEDLY.
King said with a melancholy air;
and after folding his arms, and frowning at the cook till his eyes were
nearly out of sight, he said in a deep voice, "What are tarts made of?"
Pepper, mostly," said the cook.
Treacle," said a sleepy voice behind her.
Collar that Dormouse !" the Queen shrieked out. Behead that
Dormouse Turn that Dormouse out of court! Suppress him! Pinch
him! Off with his whiskers "
For some minutes the whole court was in confusion, getting the








94' ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN. WONDERLAND.

Dormouse turned out; and by the time they had settled down again,
the cook had disappeared.
Never mind said the King, with an air of great relief. Call
the next witness." And he added in an undertone to the Queen,
" Really, my dear, you must cross examine the next witness. It quite
makes my forehead ache "
Alice watched the White Rabbit as he fumbled over the list, feeling
very curious to see what the next witness would be like- for they
haven't got much evidence yet," she said to herself. Imagine her sur-
prise, when the White Rabbit read out, at the top of his shrill little
voice, the name Alice."







ALICE'S EVIDENCE. 95





CHAPTER XII.

ALICE'S EVIDENCE.

HERE cried Alice,, quite forgetting in the flurry of the moment
how large she had grown in the last few minutes; and she jumped up
in such a hurry that she tipped over the jury-box with the edge of her
skirt, upsetting all the jurymen onto the heads of the crowd below, and
there they lay sprawling about, reminding her very much of a globe of
goldfish she had accidentally upset the week before.
Oh, I beg your pardon she exclaimed in a tone of great dismay;
and began picking them up again as quickly as she could, for the acci-
dent of the goldfish kept running in her head, and she had a vague
sort of idea that they must be collected at once and put back into the
jury-box or they would die.
The trial cannot proceed," said the King in a very grave voice,
" until all the jurymen are back in their proper places all," he repeated
with great emphasis, looking hard at Alice as he said so.
Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that, in her haste, she had put
the Lizard in head downwards, and the poor little thing was waving its
tail about in a melancholy way, being quite unable to move. She soon
got it out again, and put it right; not that it signifies much," she said
to herself; I should think it would be quite as much used in the trial
one way up as the other."
As soon as the jury had a little recovered from the shock of being
upset, and their slates and pencils had been found and handed back to
them, they set to work very diligently to write a history of the accident;
all except the Lizard, who seemed too much overcome to do anything
but sit with its mouth wide open, gazing up into the roof of the court.
"What do you know about this business?" the King said to Alice.








96 ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND.

"Nothing," said Alice.
Nothing whatever ? persisted the King.
Nothing whatever," said Alice.
"That's very important," the King said, turning to the jury. They
were just beginning to write this down on their slates, when the White
Rabbit interrupted, Unimportant, your majesty means, of course," he
said in a very respectful tone, but frowning and making faces at him as
he spoke.
Unimportant, of course, I meant," the King hastily said, and went
on to himself in an undertone, important unimportant unimpor-
tant important," as if he were trying which word sounded best.
Some of the jury wrote it down important," and some of them un-
important." Alice could see this, as she was near enough to look over
their slates; but it doesn't matter a bit," she thought to herself.
At this moment the King, who had been for some time busily writ-
ing in his note-book, called out "Silence and read out from his book,
Rule Forty-two. All ersons more than a mile high to leave the court."
Everybody looked at Alice.
I'm not a mile high," said A lice.
You are," said the King.
Nearly two miles high," added the Queen.
"Well, I sha'n't go, at any rate," said Alice; "besides, that's not a
regular rule; you invented it just now."
It's the oldest rule in the book," said the King.
"Then it ought to be Number One," said Alice.
The king turned pale, and shut his note-book hastily. Consider
your verdict," he said to the jury in a low, trembling voice.
There's more evidence to come yet, please your majesty," said the
White Rabbit, jumping up in a great hurry; this paper has just been
picked up."
What's in it?" said the Queen.
I haven't opened it yet," said the White Rabbit; but it seems to
be a letter written by the prisoner to to somebody."




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