'C OLLIER F
The Baldwin Library
THE TROTTY BOOK.
ELIZABETH STUART PHELPS.
FIELDS, OSGOOD, & CO.
Entered according to act of Congress, in the year 1869, by
FIELDS, OSGOOD, & CO.,
in the Clerk's Office of the District Court for the District of Massachusetts.
UNIVERSITY PRESS: WELCH, BIGELOW, & CO.,'
THE CHRISTMAS CHAPTER 1
A POUND OF GINGER-SNAPS . 14
DR. TOTTY 26
THE REVEREND MR. TROTTY 37
Miss PUMPKIN'S SCHOOL . 50
LILL'S HOUSEKEEPING . 62
NITA'S SECOND COUSIN .75
TROTTY GETS MARRIED .. 85
AND DESERTS HIS WIFE 93
BEING A KITTY 96
TROTTY'S LETTER TO THE PEOPLE THAT READ THE TROTTY BOOK 115
LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS.
TROTTY LOST'IN THE WOODS Frontispiece.
INITIAL. age 1
DR. TROTTY ... . ....--34
TROTTY AT CHURCH- ;-. .. .. .. 42
TROTTY AT SCHOOL 59
TROTTY'S LETTER-OPEN 68
TROTTY'S LETTER- SEALED 69
FEATHERS AND MOLASSES 73
THE LOST FOUND 81
THE MARRIAGE SERVICE 87
vi LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS.
SET TO DRY 94
TROTTY'S DREAM 99
TELLING STORIES 111
TROTTY'S POSTSCRIPT .115
" JEREUSELIMM 117
" JEREUSELIMM BERRYD" 118
THE TROTTY BOOK.
THE CHRISTMAS CHAPTER.
i; HIS is a story of a little girl who
S-. '"i" l was going to have a Christmas-tee,
and forgot all about it.
She wvas very much like all other
S' little girls, I suppose. She liked to
'": twist up her hair in curl-papers, and
iii .:. wear red lacings in her boots, and
-:t red ribbons around her net. She
""" liked to play "House," and read
.' fairy-stories, and cut up her moth-
er's bonnet-ribbons to dress little
snips of china dolls. She liked to
" break friendships," and have secrets ; she hated to
write compositions ; she particularly enjoyed having her own
way; and her name was Lill.
One Christmas morning Trotty woke her up very early.
You would like to know who Trotty was? Well, it is not
2 THE TROTTY BOOK.
an easy thing to say exactly. Grandmother says that he is
a little pink daisy; his brother Max pronounces him a hum-
bug; Lill insists that he is a monkey; and his mother will
have it that he is a dew-drop. Biddy inclines to the belief
that he is a blessing; Patrick denominates him the plague of
his life ; while Cousin Ginevra, who has been to boarding-
school and wears long curls, has several times informed me
that he is such a little darling! Between so many conflicting
opinions, it is somewhat difficult to classify him.
At any rate, whatever he was, he had seen the Mayflowers
grow pink, and the tassels of silk hang from the rustling
corn, and the blood-red maple-leaves fall, and the snow-flakes
melt on his pretty, pink hand, three times. He had seen
three mysterious Christmas eves, three merry Christmas
mornings, and three sleepy Christmas' nights, and he didn't
remember a thing about them. .This Christmas was the
fourth, and he meant to remember this, and he did.
His hair was as brown as a chestnut, and his eyes were
as blue as a September sky after a thunder-shower; his
mouth looked like a ripe strawberry, and the corners of it
always turned up,-except when he was politely declined
access to the sugar-barrel, or grandmother expressed a re-
luctance to have him cut up her best caps for hankerchers
for Trotty," or Max refused him the harmless luxury of
adding his notes and comments to the college copy of
Homer with a quill pen and the blackest ink in the house,
-when they turned obviously the other way, and had a
THE CHRISTMAS CHAPTER. 3
hard time of it getting up again. When he laughed, it
sounded like water falling into a silver basin; and when
he cried, it did n't sound like that at all. When he talked,
you would have thought it was a whole nest of blackbirds
chattering; and when he walked, it was like rain-drops on
the roof. And when he teased for apple-sauce!
Besides, he had a dimple, and his name was-I am sure
I do not know. Not Trotty, probably, in the original; but,
whatever it was, I think that every one must have forgotten
by this time. Perhaps it was Timothy or Tryphenius or
The most remarkable thing about Trotty was his u-bi-qui-
tous-ness. That is a long word, and you have n't the least
idea what it means. If your eight fingers, and your two
thumbs, and your two fists, and your two elbows are large
enough to hold Mr. Webster's Dictionary, I advise you to
look it out. But you would like to have me save you the
Well, then, it means that, if you shut Trotty into the parlor,
and hurried up stairs to have a few moments' peace in your
own room, Trotty was on the landing before you. It means
that, if you put him into your room, and whisked down stairs
and looked up, there were his copper toes sticking through
the banisters. It means that, if you spirited yourself up
garret when he was looking the other way, there was a great
clattering on the bare floor, and there was Trotty. It means
that, if you seceded into the garden, there was a patter on
4 THE TROTTY BOOK.
the walk, and there was Trotty again. It means that every-
where that any body went, Trotty was sure to go.
They were Trotty's feet which woke Lill on that Christmas
morning. She heard them in her dreams tapping on the -oil-
cloth by the wash-stand, and she opened one eye, and saw
the sky all on fire with such a sunrise as does not come every
day in the year; Trotty outlined against it, perched on a
chair by the window, his ten little pink toes peeping out
like ten little pink shells from the edge of his white night-
Why, Trotty Tyrol! you will catch your death. Bundle
into bed as fast as ever you can! But what a nice day it is
going to be, not a cloud to be seen anywhere! "
"Ye-es, there is a cloud anywheres" chattered Trotty, who
was beginning to be cold. There 's a little black cloud just
on top of Mr. Deacon Jones's barn."
"Where ? 0, that is n't anything."
O. no," echoed Trotty, confidentially, that is n't any-
thing. I guess Christmas has come a purpose, don't you,
Who would have thought just how much a purpose that
Christmas was, or that neither Trotty nor Lill will forget that
little black cloud as long as they live ?
The sun swept kindling up and on, till the fire that lay low
on the horizon opposite Trotty's eastern window had set the
whole world ablaze; the smooth, crusted snow flashed under
it, till one could not look for blindness; the icicles from the
THE CHRISTMAS CHAPTER. 5
trees were tossing on the wind like broken rainbows; and
Trotty went out and let them fall into his mouth, and into
his curls, and into his neck, and into his little white mittens,
and tried to rub the sunbeams out of his eyes, and tried to
get to the front gate before the wind did, and could n't under-
stand where his feet went to when he fell down, and was
surer than ever that Christmas had come a purpose." All
the while, the little black cloud was hiding behind Deacon
Jones's barn, and nobody thought anything about it.
By twelve o'clock there was no little cloud at all. A great,
dull, ugly duskiness had crept over Mr. Jones's roof, and
seemed to be trying to put the world out, just as you put an
extinguisher on a candle.
Now you must know that Lill's Christmas-tree was shut up
in the parlor, waiting for night, and its glories of colored
candle-li'ght; that Trotty would keep rattling the latch, open-
ing the door the fraction of a crack to squeeze in the tip end
of his nose and one pink cheek, agonizing on tip-toe to
peep in at the keyhole, and hammering to get in, till his fists
were black and blue ; that he had been commanded, threat-
ened, enticed, and deluded out of the vicinity just fifteen
times that morning, and was back again hammering, rattling,
squeezing, and peeping, within five minutes, each separate
and individual time ; that, as a consequence, the family mind
was relieved when Lill proposed, after dinner, that they should
go out and coast.
Only I am almost afraid it will storm," said her mother,
looking at the dusky cloud.
6 THE TROTTY BOOK.
Why, it would n't ever go and storm on Christmas !"
It would n't never storm Christmas," repeated Trotty,
who always thought he must say everything that Lill did.
So Lill put on her hood with the blue silk lining and the
tassel behind, and grandmother kept Trotty still long enough
to get him into his little scarlet gaiters, and his bits of fleece-
lined snow-boots, and his flannel coat, and his red tippet, and
his tiny mittens with a red border on the wrists, and his jockey
cap with the Scotch-plaid velvet trimming, and everybody
kissed him all round, as if he had been going off for a year
in Europe, to which Trotty, brought up to believe that the
dispensations of Providence are inscrutable, resigned himself
with fortitude. When his mother called him back after
they had started, to kiss his eyes, because they looked so
like papa's to-day," Trotty made no remarks, but I am inclined
to think that the iron on that occasion entered his soul. At
least, he informed Lill in confidence, on the way over to
Gertie's, that he did n't see why peoples could n't kiss Biddy
or Grandma just as well; and when he was as big as Max,
would Cousin Ginevra have to keep calling him her little
darling ? "
Gertie was Lill's most particular, confidential, intimate,
and eternal friend. Last week it was Jane De Witt; but
Jane De Witt had given a stick of barley candy to Lou Hol-
lis, and Lill had ii't bowed at recess for three whole days.
The week before, it was Molly Gibbs; but Molly had told
THE CHRISTMAS CHAPTER. 7
somebody, who told somebody else, who told Gertie, who
told Lill, that she (Molly) believed that she (Lill) was
" real proud of that quilted blue silk in her hood, and now
Molly and Lill were sworn enemies. Next week, Gertie
would go overboard. Lill usually went the rounds of the
school about twice a term.
There was some sunlight left, in spite of the creeping
cloud, and Trotty trudged along after Lill and Gertie, tugged
his sled over the walls, stuck fast trying to crawl through the
fences, and invariably fell on his nose when he fell down, but
succeeded in reaching Long Hill without having lost any-
thing but his tippet, one mitten, and a handkerchief, and
coasted under the broken rainbows and over the blazing
crust, the whole long afternoon.
You ought to have seen him! He would always slide
down hill with his mouth open, and climb up with his eyes
shut; and he had just about as much of an idea how to steer
as a canary-bird. He would insist on dragging both his feet
along the crust: he wore three holes in his snow-boots in
that one afternoon. His sled would spin round like a top,
and he would roll off like a bundle, and pick himself up, and
spin round and roll off again. Then, when his feet became
cold, he began to cry, and told Lill that there was something
in his boot which hurt him, that was all the little monkey
But for all that he had a very good time, and so did Lill
and Gertie,-- so good that they had forgotten all about the
8 THE TROTTY BOOK.
stealing cloud ; it had stolen all over the sky; the rainbows
were gone, the blaze of the flashing crust had died out like
ashes, and a thick whirl of snow-flakes had been whitening
the air for some time before they found it out.
Ow said Trotty, at last, with a gasp, look a-here, -
there 's a snow-storm goin' down my froat! "
So there is, as true as you live," said Lill, stopping short.
" Did you ever ? "
It 's cold as Greenland too," shivered Gertie, and I do
believe it 's after supper-time. Let 's us run home as fast as
ever we can."
"Yes, let 's. I 'm tired of coasting."
"I 'm tired of coasting, too. I wished I could get this
stone out of my boot," moaned Trotty.
So off they started across the fields. Now they were a
long mile's walk from home, -a half-mile from the open
road; there were fences to climb, and a patch of woods to
cross; the wind was rising fast, the snow was thickening
faster, and it began to be hard work.
Hurry up, Trotty," said Lill, growing cross. "What a
little slow-poke you are! Come along! "
Trotty came along as fast as he could come ; but his little
legs were so short, and his little feet were so small, that he
could not keep up. Lill had to wait for him, and Lill was
growing cold. Trotty Tyrol, what a bother you are I do
wish I could ever go anywhere without you tagging after.
There! run now, or I '11 go home without you."
THE CHRISTMAS CHAPTER. 9
0 yes," said tired Trotty, starting afresh. I '11 run vely
fast. My feets are so heavy I wish you'd take hold o' my
But Lill had both hands in her sack-pockets to keep them
warm, and she pretended not to hear. The wind bit Trotty's
bare fingers, and the snow fell on them.
It grew dark very fast.
If it were n't for that everlasting little Trotty, we should
be home," said Lill to Gertie, just loud enough for Trotty to
hear. I do believe we shall be late to the Tree. I 've a
good mind to go on without him."
Trotty's under-lip quivered and grieved. Lill, as she ran
along, heard him pattering faster behind her. I '11 try not
to be an everlasting little Trotty Please to don't go home
to Christmas without me."
Lill did not look back. If she had she would have seen
a purple fist rubbing two great tears out of two great eyes.
But it was growing darker.
The snow whirled into their faces and blinded them. The
sharp wind whistled and stung. Trotty gulped down the two
tears, and trudged on manfully; but he fell farther behind,
and farther, and Lill ran on.
Hurry up, Trotty, hurry! she called, without turning
her head. I really do not think that she knew how far be-
hind he was. I can't wait for you any longer. You know
the way home, and you can come right along. You'd better
be quick if you want any of the Tree."
10 THE TROTTY BOOK.
Trotty slipped upon the icy crust, and dragged his tired
feet along, and slipped again, and fell, and clambered up, and
hurried on, in a perfect little agony of terror. Ho was in the
patch of woods now; the shadows of the trees were dark.;
the whistle of the wind was shrill.
Lill, wait for me Wa-it for me "
But Lill ran on.
Lill Li-ill Lil-ly! Wait for Trotty! Please to wait
for Trotty, Lill! "
But Lill did not hear. The snow was pelting into Trotty's
eyes: he could hardly see her now.
Lill, I 've got somefin to tell yer, I 've got somefin to
tell yer, Lill! "
But Lill was out of sight now.
Trotty tried once more, his little piping voice choking into
sobs: It's somefin real nice, Lill! 0 Lill, do let Trotty
go home to Christmas "
Nothing answered him but the long, loud shriek of the
wind, sweeping over the hills, and through the trees. Trotty
stopped running, and stood still.
It was now quite dark. The low branches of the pines
shut out of sight the ash-like whiteness of the fields, where
the last light lingered faintly, but did not shut out the storm.
The feathery flakes of snow had turned to sleet that stung
Trotty's cheeks like needles, and thrust itself into his eyes
like knives. He could not see the path ; he could not see
the sky; he had stuffed his blue fingers into his mouth, and
THE CHRISTMAS CHAPTER. 11
into his curls, and down his neck, but he could not make
them warm; the fleece-lined boots had grown as cold as the
snow that was drifting up about them ; the little flannel coat
and scarlet gaiters could not shut out the bitter wind. The
wide winter night was settling down,- Trotty's Christmas
"Lill, come back! called poor little Trotty, tramping
feebly on. He did not know, he could not see, where he was
going. I'11 be a good boy, Lill. I won't be a over any
more. I'll run real fast. I won't tag after. 0, why don't
somebody come after Trotty "
But nobody came after Trotty, and he was growing very
Why, Lill, where is Trotty ?"
just behind us somewhere. He was so slow, and
we- Why! he- isn't-"
The house was very dark. Nobody had thought to light
the lamps. Supper was on the table, untasted. The fire was
dying in the grate. Grandmother sat by it, trying to knit,
but something was the matter with her eyes, and she had to
give it up. Up in the corner, in the dark, some one was
crouched alone, shrinking all into a heap on the floor. It
was Lill. She had not said a word. She had tried more
than once to cry out, 0 grandma! do you think they will
find him ? Will Trotty freeze to death ? Grandma! grand-
ma! I wish I could go too, and tell him I am sorry."
12 THE TROTTY BOOK.
"But the words would not come. She could not remind
anybody that she was there. She would rather be forgotten.
She said nothing, but she thought much.
She thought of Trotty, playing about in the morning in his-
nightgown, throwing pillows at her, his hair tumbled all over
his face,- she had been cross to him sometimes in those
pillow-fights,-of Trotty in the scarlet gaiters and jockey-
cap and tiny mittens, making snowballs in the front yard,-
of Trotty's eyes and cheeks and funny little flat nose, peering
in to fighten grandma through the low piazza window, -
of Trotty at the sugar-barrel, the molasses-jug, the preserve-
closet, of the mischief in his face, of his dimple. What
if she never saw that dimple any more ? She thought of
Trotty trudging out with her that afternoon, when his feets
were heavy.!' It was a long walk for such bits of feet: she
should have thought,-- 0, she should have thought !
She thought of Trotty climbing up the hill in the sunshine,
and rolling off the sled, of the bitter wind, and Trotty
tramping home through the storm,-- of his faint voice call-
ing after her: Wait for Trotty, Lill! Wa-it!" But she
had not waited. Poor little voice 1
And if it should never ask Lill to wait again ? If Lill
should never have any chance to tell him that he was not a
bother ? If he should go up to Heaven and tell the angels
that Lill called him an everlasting little Trotty ?
Hark! said grandmother. What's that? "
It was the clink of the front gate. It was the door thrown
THE CHRISTMAS CHAPTER. 13
open. It was the tread of Max upon the floor, his voice,
- his mother's; but no other. They came in all covered
with snow. Max had a bundle in his arms, and that was
covered with snow; but it was very still.
Lill did a queer thing. She turned around, with her face
to the corner, and put her hands before hei eyes. She said
afterwards that she did not dare to look.
SBut all at once the bundle sat up straight.
"I want my supper said a voice that was as much like
Trotty's as any voice could be.
This is how Lill came to forget her Christmas-Tree. But
then it was just as good for to-morrow night.
14 THE TROTTY BOOK.
A POUND OF GINGER-SNAPS.
`V- HERE is so much more about Trotty that I
S ':" hardly know where to begin; but, after
having devoted just about a year's study to
S. the subject, I am inclined to take the Gin-
V. I ger-snap Story.
S If it had not been ironing-day, there
': i;.: i '--- never would have been such a story to tell.
-. But then it was ironing-day, so it is of
no use to say anything about that.
Trotty was sitting on the ironing-table too.
Trotty felt the responsibilities of ironing-day. Nobody
knows how he felt them. The labors of his mother and
Biddy were nothing in comparison. In the first place, there
were his pocky-hankychers to be ironed. 0 those poor
little pocky-hankychers He used to crawl up behind the
clothes-basket, and pull them out of his pockets (Trotty had
two pockets) one by one till he came to the end, and there
were always at least three or four. Such a sight as they
were All rolled up, and twisted up, and tied up, and
squeezed up, and as for the color Well, Trotty picked
A POUND OF GINGER-SNAPS. 15
all his dandelions, and all his. fox-berries, and all his flag-root
in them ; watered his flowers, fed his chickens, brushed I i
shoes, and made his mud-pies with them, so perhaps you can
have some idea of the color. I don't believe you can, though.
Nothing would do but that Biddy must heat his little iron, -
it was n't much larger than a table-spoon, nor hotter than
fresh milk, and let him iron every one of those handker-
chiefs to his entire satisfaction. A washed one, fresh from
the pile on the window-sill, did not answer the purpose at all.
Then he must always have his shoe-strings pressed out.
Then there was Jerusalem. Jerusalem must, I think, have
been remotely connected with the Flat-head Indians, though
he was in skin an Ethiopian, and in temper quite harmless.
Compounded from one of grandmother's ravelled stockings,
Lill's old black silk apron, and the cotton-wool bag, Jerisa-
lem possessed, in the beginning, an ample supply of brains;
but Trotty bored a gimlet-hole in the top of his head one day,
and pulled them out. Jerusalem, however, did not appear to'
suffer seriously from this treatment; and the little black silk
bag which was left answered the purpose of a head to him
quite as well as some fuller ones have done in the course of
this world's history. The only inconvenience about it was
the slight one of having your face lop down on your neck
whenever anybody shook you a little. Jerusalem felt it quite
a comfort to be flattened out.
So Trotty ironed him every Tuesday afternoon.
On this afternoon, he had finished the handkerchiefs and
16 THE TROTTY BOOK.
the shoe-strings, and was ready to devote all his energies to
Jerusalem, when Biddy dropped her flat-iron and jumped.
Ow! said Trotty ; for the iron fell plump upon Jerusa-
lem's face, and scorched it to a delicate smoky brown from
forehead to chin. Jerusalem bore it manfully, and did not
so much as wink. Trotty compassionately stuck him head-
first into the sprinkling-bowl, and left him there to cool.
"Shure an' it's the baker going' by on me up the street,"
said Biddy, running to the window ; there 's not a crumb of
cake in the house for supper the night, an' it's your mother
as told me to stop him, bless my soul! Rin out now, Trotty,
and holler after him, there 's a good boy "
Trotty, never loath to rin out and holler" for any cause,
prepared to obey; but the baker's cart had turned the corner,
and the jingling of his bells was growing faint. Biddy went
to report to her mistress, and Trotty, having hung Jerusalem
on the door-latch by his head, trotted along after her, to find
out what was going to happen.
"Well," said his mother, there is no way now but to
send to the Deacon's for some gingec-snaps."
Trotty beat a soft retreat. But his shoes squeaked, -
Trotty's shoes always did squeak, so everybody heard
Come, Trotty !"
I don't want to," said Trotty, briskly, backing off.
But mother wants you to. Come see how quick you
can be. You would n't want to go without any cake for
supper, yon know."
A POUND OF GINGER-SNAPS. 17
Biddy can bake me some cake. I should like to know if
that is n't what God made her for! said Trotty, with de-
No; Biddy can't bake cake on ironing-days ; she has too
much else to do. Now, which would you rather do, -go
without the ginger-snaps, or go to the Deacon's ? "
Have Lill go," said Trotty, looking bright.
As Trotty's mother had a habit of meaning what she said,
Lill did not go, and Trotty did. He jammed his little straw
hat over his curls in a melancholy manner, back side in front,
with the blue ribbons hanging down into his eyes, took Jeru-
salem down from the door-latch, looked unutterable things at
Biddy, slammed the door severely, and trudged away through
the dust to call for Nat, talking impressively to himself:
"Now I don't care She need n't have went and made me
get her old ginger- "
One pound, remember called his mother from the
house; and you and Nat may have one apiece."
Trotty's spirits rose. He called Nat out, and told him
about that; and Nat said that it was bully," and Trotty
thought so too. On the whole, he began to be very glad that
he was not at home ironing Jerusalem. Jerusalem himself
seemed to be quite of the opinion that he had had ironing
enough for one week; what with the scorching, and the
drowning, and the hanging, he was in rather a depressed
state of mind. Thinking to encourage him, Trotty carried
him by the head awhile.
18 THE TROTTY BOOK.
It took Trotty and Nat a long time to go to the Deacon's.
It never took Trotty and Nat anything hut a long time to go
anywhere. They dug wells in every sand-bank, and sailed
chips on every mud-puddle, and knocked the stones off'from
every wall, and covered themselves with pitch on every wood-
pile, and made friends with every kitty, and ran. away from
every puppy, and picked every dandelion that they came
across, to say nothing of Jerusalem; for Jerusalem could
be an elephant, and Jerusalem could be a mouse, and Jeru-
salem excelled in the character of a, horse-car or a steamboat.
Jerusalem was unequalled as a telegraph-wire and a fish-
hook ; he could be buried, could be married, could be a min-
ister and an apple-pie; made such a Daniel in the den of
lions that the lions never would have known the difference;
and in the capacity of Jeff Davis on a sour-apple tree has
never been thought, by more impartial minds than Trotty's,
to have a rival.
Much to Jerusalem's relief, they came to the Deacon's at
last, and Trotty climbed the high wooden steps, and stood on
tiptoe, so that the end of his nose and the top of his curls
just showed above the counter, and hammered away for a
while with his little brown fists, till the Deacon heard him.
How he opened his eyes and mouth, while thd Deacon's boy
weighed out a pound of brown, round, crisp, fresh, sweet
"0 my! "'said Nat.
Wait a minute," said Trotty ; "mother told me to sharge
A POUND OF GINGER-SNAPS. 19
So Trotty took the ginger-snaps, and waited about; and
the Deacon's boy was busy, and did not notice him.
"What does it mean to have 'em charged ? asked Nat, in
a hungry whisper, after they had walked drearily about the
store for five minutes. Trotty shook his head. He had an
idea of his own, I 'm sure I do not know how he came by
it,--that he was to carry home a paper with something writ-
ten on it, and that the Deacon was to write it for him, but he
did not feel quite sure, and did not dare to ask. So he and
Nat walked back and forth, and began to feel very hungry
and very homesick.
Hulloa! said the Deacon, presently, why what's the
matter ? "
Mother wants 'em sharedd" said Trotty, half ready to
cry, but looking as important as he knew how.
0," said the Deacon, "they're all shared long ago.
Run along! "
Trotty ran along in some perplexity. He had a vague im-
pression that either he or the Deacon had made a mistake,
but Idoubt if he knows which, to this day.
Out again in.the sunlight and the yellow dust, among the
stone-walls and the dandelions, he and Nat opened the
Think of it, -a pound of ginger-snaps, and nobody to be
seen among the stone-walls and dandelions but Trotty and
Nat! Nobody to look on, all the way home, and nothing but
ginger-snaps away down to the bottom of that big paper bag !
20 THE TROTTY BOOK.
O you great grown-up people who talk about "temptations,"
think of it!
J-j-j-est look a there !" stammered excited Nat, hardly
able to put one word straight after the other; for Nat did not
have a ginger-snap very often.
Mother said I might have one, and you might have one,
an' we might bof two of us have one," said Trotty, graciously.
So he put in his dainty, dimpled fingers, and felt all about
till he found the largest two ginger-snaps in the brown bag.
0, well, to think how they tasted Trotty nibbled his up
in little bites about as big as a canary's, and felt tle sunshine
all about, and heard a bluebird singing as she hopped along
on the wall, and wondered in his secret heart though this
he did not say to Nat -whether there would be any Dea-
con up in heaven; if he would keep ginger-snaps; if you
could go down there some afternoon, and just eat all you
By and by the ginger-snap was all nibbled away.
0, see here !" said Trotty, abstractedly; don't you wish
peoples had n't any mammas, Nat ? "
Let's look in and see if they 're all safe, you know," sug-
gested Nat, after some thought.
Trotty opened the paper in a vague way, and peeped in.
I 'd like to look and see how safe they are," said Nat;
So Nat looked to see how safe they were.
Wonder if there 's a hundred of 'em," observed Nat,
putting just the tips of his fingers over just the edge of the
I5 (I r
in '"~ n ~~ir
I ~~~~-** ~ ~ i?--Z-~ -7-c.
A POUND OF GINGER-SNAPS. 21
O, I guess there 's more 'n that; there 's as many as fif-
teen, I should n't wonder," said Trotty.
Presently he opened the bag again, and took out two ginger-
Don't believe she 'd care if we had two ones, Nat."
That must 'a' been what she meant," exclaimed Nat.
But something was the matter with that ginger-snap;
Trotty thought that it did not taste as good as the other.
"I guess this one '11 taste better, you see. Free is n't a
great many more 'n one, is it, Nat ? "
Nat felt positive on that point. He did n't think that four
were a great many more, either.
Look here," said Trotty, after a while, I 'm glad mam-
ma is n't God."
Why ? asked Nat.
"'Cause then she 'd just have to be round everywhere
The bluebird had stopped singing, and the sunshine ran
away, as fast as it could, to hide behind a cloud.
Where 's Trotty ? asked everybody, when supper-time
came; for nobody'ever knew Trotty to fail of being on hand
Trotty, Trotty Trotty Tyrol! Kitty Clover Little pink
Dai-sy Trotty Teaser! "
Lill went up stairs and down, shouting a few dozen of
Trotty's names; to tell you all the names that Trotty had
would take a separate chapter.
22 THE TROTTY BOOK.
Lill looked in the attic; she looked in the cellar; she
searched the wood-shed; she peered into the refrigerator.
Why, what has become of the child? "
I '11 look myself," said his mother, coming up. Trot-
Yes 'un! said Trotty, faintly, from somewhere. And
where do you suppose it was ? His mother came into the
entry by the linen-closet, and went up to the tall clothes-
basket that stood in the corner, and peeped in. There sat
Trotty all curled up in a little heap at the bottom, with his
elbows on his knees and his chin in his hands.
Could n't get out," said Trotty, meekly, looking up from
But what did you get in for ?"
O, I was a fish, and fell down the well, I guess," said
Trotty, stopping to think; don't want any supper. I think
you must be hungry, mamma; you'd better go down, you
But mamma did not know. She fished him out somewhat
gravely, and put him down upon the floor.
We are all at supper now, and waiting for Trotty. Where
are the ginger-snaps ? Did you forget them ? "
Well, show me where they are. Come, dear."
But Trotty hung back. They were in the shina-closet,"
he said; on the lowest shelf.
So somebody went to the shina-closet." There on the
A POUND OF GINGER-SNAPS. 23
shelf lay a little, a very little, roll of brown paper. It had
been a bag once ; it was torn now, and twisted up.
They brought it to Trotty's mother, and she opened it.
Just five ginger-snaps Everybody looked at everybody
They 've eaten why, did you ever in all your life ? -
they 've eaten A POUND i "
Lill laughed till the tears came; grandmother said that
they would die before morning; mamma went sadly up stairs,
and found her little fish sitting on the floor beside his well,
head hanging, and dimple gone.
She took him up in her arms, and looked at him. Trotty
lifted his great yellow eyelashes just enough to peep through
and get an idea of the state of affairs; then dropped them
Trotty, where are the rest of mother's ginger-snaps ? "
The Deacon's pounds ain't well, they ain't so big as
they used to be," said Trotty, twisting his fingers into each
other. Sumfin 's the matter with his weighing-thing, I
No, Trotty; the Deacon gave you a great many more than
you have brought home, and somebody has eaten the rest.
Was it Trotty and Nat ?"
Me and Nat, we eat free," said Trotty, very low.
Only three ? But who ate the rest, Trotty ? "
Jerusalem said Trotty, after some consideration.
Very well; whoever ate the ginger-snaps can't go down
24 THE TROTTY BOOK.
stairs any more to-night, but must go to bed and stay alone.
Shall I put Jerusalem to bed ? "
Trotty opened his eyes rather wide, but said nothing. His
mother put Jerusalem into Trotty's bed, and covered him up,
and tucked him in; Jerusalem folded his head quite over on
the counterpane for shame and sorrow.
0, see here said Trotty, with a little jump. It it
was n't Jerusalem, either."
Trotty cried himself to sleep that night. But, before he
had cried himself to sleep, his mother came up with his mug
of milk, and sat down on the bed. She looked very sober,
and said nothing, nor did she kiss him.
Mamma," faltered Trotty, presently.
Why, youlwould have thought his little heart was broken!
He had never spent ten unnoticed, unpetted minutes in all his
life before; and I suppose he had settled it in his wretched
little thoughts that he never was going to be noticed or
petted or kissed or forgiven.
Too bad moaned Trotty. 0, it's too bad "
So he crept up into his mother's arms, he looked like a
little tinted statue, with his nightgown, and bare feet, and
wet curls, and grieving, red mouth, and they talked it all
Will I die ? asked he, by and by, very sorry and a little
A POUND OF GINGER-SNAPS. 25
0 no, not now, his mother hoped ; but she was afraid he
would be sick to-morrow. Indeed, she had sent Lill to ask
the doctor to stop in a moment on his way home; though that
she did not tell Trotty.
Trotty called her back after she had started to go down
stairs, and wanted to know Which would be died first, -
me or you or Jerusalem ? "
O, I presume I shall die first; I am the oldest. Come,
Trotty, go to sleep, now, it is very late."
Mamma -" when she had stepped on the very last stair:
and up she must climb again, wearily.
Look here, mamma. I should just like to know about it.
If you go to heaven first, who 'll shoot me ?"
You see, all the dead people that the poor little philosopher
knew anything about were two in number. One was his
father, whose great, blue brave eyes looked down out of the
picture up stairs, and who lay with a bullet in his heart among
the solemn shadows of Gettysburg. The other was the Good
President. Consequently, he had inferred that the only means
of translation from this world to another was by pistol.
And, 0 dear! cried his mother, afterwards, to think
that I should have to be the one to do it! "
A pound of ginger-snaps A pound of ginger-snaps! "
repeated grandmother at intervals throughout the evening.
" He certainly will die before morning."
Trotty did not, however, die before morning. And, what
is more, -I do not expect to be believed, but it is true,-
they never hurt him a bit.
26 HE TROTTT BOOK.
J kDON'T think I like the looks of it," said
,'1 Trotty, very distinctly:
i He meant the baby. It was Aunt Mat-
thew's baby. Aunt Matthews, and Cousin
SGinevra, and the baby's nurse, and the
baby's trunks, and the baby's carriage, and
the baby's crib, and the baby, were making a visit at Trotty's
They had just gone into the spare chamber to take off their
things, and Trotty had hopped up stairs on one foot after
them, With an interested air. It struck him that people were
making a great fuss over that pink bundle in that freckled
woman's lap, -kissing it, and squeezing it, and feeling of its
fingers, and chucking it under the chin; saying how it had
grown i and how much it looked like papa !' and what a little
dear it was! and see it laughing at ydoi!' He wondered
whether, if he were a pink bundle in a freckled woman's lap,
they would pay so much attention to him.
I'm four years old, and I'm going to be five, bime by,"
he said, feeling that he had been neglected long enough.
But nobody listened.
DR. TROTTV.. 27
I 'm four years old. .I 've got a tip-cart, and some rub-
ber boots," lie continued, severely. I have free griddle-
cakes for breakfast, and I cat my supper down stairs."
But nobody heard that, either. However painful it'may be
to inflict a gentle reproof upon one's inferiors, it is undoubt-
edly sometimes a necessity. Trotty, with quiet dignity, crept
up behind Aunt Matthews, and jerked her by the waterfall.
Oh said everybody, talking at once, do let Trotty see
the baby. I don't believe he pver saw a baby near enough to
touch it in his life."
So they made room for Trotty beside the freckled woman,
and he examined the pink bundle with attention. It was a
very pink bundle. Its flannel cloak was pink; its crocheted
sack was pink; its little knit shoes were pink; its ribbons
were pink; its hands were pink; and its face was very pink.
It had two great black eyes, a funny little flat nose, io hair
to speak of, and no teeth, whether you spoke of them or not.
It stared at Trotty for a minute doubtfully; then scowled a
-little, scowled a little more, scowled very much, wrinkled,
writhed, twisted, grew red, grew purple, opened its mouth
wide, and screamed at him, then doubled its fists close, and
punched him in the face.
You frighten her, the blessed little dear!" said Aunt
I don't wonder," said Lill; "you've been to the sirup-
pitcher, and the quince-jar, and the sugar-bowl, and the apple-
barrel, since you washed your face last, to say nothing of the
28 THE TROTTY BOOK.
red crayon mark on your neck, and the black one on your
nose. You've been at my paint-box, too, I know from the
gamboge streak on your forehead, and the pea-green on that
No," repeated Trotty, with decision, as he was marched
off to the wash-bowl, I don't like the looks of it, and if
God can't find a better-looking baby than that for me, when
I'm a man, he need n't throw me down any "
But by and by the baby had had a nap, and felt better, and
Trotty had been washed, and looked better. So they culti-
vated each other's acquaintance a little further. He sat on a
cricket, and looked at the baby, and the baby sat on the floor,
and looked at him.
She makes faces at me," he said, after some thought.
" She puts her shoes in her mouth. She eats up all her
fingers. I guess they made her of injun-rubber; I pinched
her a little to see. She squealed. But then she '11 just fit
into the tip-cart, and when she cries, why don't they fill her
mouth all up with sawdust ? It '11 go in just as easy You.
le' me get some and try."
In the course of a day or two they were the best of friends.
He did take her to ride in the tip-cart, and he did fill her
mouth with sawdust, and it did go in just as easy," though
it was another matter to get it out. Nobody has ever dared
to inquire how fully he experimented on that baby. It is
known that he managed to share all his raw apples and hot
cookies with her at luncheon-time ; that she cried two nights
DR. TROTTY. 29
with colic, in consequence. of his feeding her with pickled
grapes ; that he tied her feet together with a tippet, and made
a little face with pen and ink upon every one of her ten
finger-nails; that when she was undressed at night she rat-
tled and rolled with cold pennies and marbles, that he had
dropped down her neck ; and that once, when the nurse was
looking the other way, he contrived to lift her into the bath-
tub, and turn the faucet on her.
But still no serious harm had happened to the child.
Trotty had promised never to give her pickles again ; he was
very gentle, and did not tease her, or make her cry, so the
grown people, with a little watching, let them play together
when they would, and so that Saturday afternoon came when
they took the drive to Pomp's Pond.
They all went, Aunt Matthews, and Ginevra, and Lill,
and Lill's mother, and Max. Grandmother was making calls.
Trotty delicately hinted that he would like to go to ride too;
but there was no room for Trotty. His mother gave him a
kiss, and Max gave him a peliny, (as if kisses and pennies
could make up, 0 you stupid grown-up men and women i for
a ride in mamma's lap, on the front seat, away five miles
through the sweet pine woods, and by the dimpled water !)
and they drove merrily off and left him.
Trotty stood still for a minute, and looked after them with
a crimson flush all over his little face. But he did not cry,
- no, little boys, he did not cry one bit, and I think that was
better than half a dozen rides. You don't think so ? No, I
know it; but it is true for all that.
30 THE TROTTY BOOK.
Trotty turned round and went slowly up stairs. Biddy was
in the kitchen, and the baby and Kathleen that was the
freckled woman's pleasant name, and she was a pleasant-
looking freckled woman, too were in the nursery. Trotty
came in, dragging his toes on the carpet in a melancholy
manner, sat down in the corner on top of Jerusalem, and, for
about five minutes, refused to be comforted. Then the baby
crept up and pulled his longest curl, it was precisely in the
middle behind, and she could just reach it,-- and pulled his
fingers, and pulled his shoe-strings, and gurgled at him, and
giggled at him, and crowed at him, and coughed at him,-
and in five minutes more he was shoving her under the bed,
in a rather tight-fitting mending-basket, as vigorously and as
happily as if he had never heard of Pomp's Pond in his
By and by the grocer's boy drove into the back yard.
Kathleen was sitting by the window, looking out.
Trotty," said she, laying down her work, I've got a dress
of me own that wants ironin' for the Sunday. You be a good
boy,. now, and don't let nothing happen to the baby, till I
So Kathleen took a pretty light calico of hers from the
closet, threw it jauntily over one arm, tied a blue ribbon
around her waterfall, and went down stairs singing.
Presently Trotty was tired of shoving the baby under the
O, I tell you," said he, le' 's play Dr. Trotty. You stay
DR. TROTTY. 31
in mending-basket till I get ready, and ven you be a ninfidel,
and I '11 come to see you."
The baby, not being very well able to offer a contrary opin-
ion, stayed in the mending-basket, and Trotty went away to
make a doctor of himself. Up garret in the first place. He
knew something about a long dressing-gown, folded away
carefully in the blue trunk; he had watched his mother
through the crack of the door, when she put the camphor in
it at house-cleaning time. It had been his father's, that soft
merino dressing-gown, but Trotty saw in that no reason why
he should not play Dr. Trotty in it. Of course his pretty
dead papa would let him! In fact, Trotty had a vague idea
that he must have died before it was worn out on purpose
that his little boy might have it that bright spring afternoon.
So he pulled it out of the blue trunk (catching it on the lock,
and tearing it in three separate and very large places), and
crept into it. It dragged a half-yard on the dusty floor
behind, and it took him the rest of the afternoon to find his
arms; but he managed to make his way down stairs, a step
at a time, and into the medicine-closet.
Ugh! that medicine-closet! What ghosts of croup, and'
measles, and green apples, and mince-pie, and "'lixy Pro,"
stalked through its dark shelves Trotty looked about with
great eyes. He thought what fun it would be to take all
those bottles away in a bushel-basket that he knew of, and
jump up and down on them with his leather boots. He laid
the brilliant idea aside, however, for future use, aind climbed
32 THE TROTTY BOOK.
up on the drawers, to take down the homeopathic box that
stood on the lower shelf. It was a neat little well-worn
homeopathic box, with a great many bits of bottles in it.
Most of these were empty, but two of them held a white
powder, and one of them some dark yellow liquid. Trotty
took the box to the great silver pitcher on the dining-room
sideboard, and filled the empty bottles with water, and corked
He put on Max's rubber boots after that ; they came nearly
up to his neck. Then he put on Max's tall hat, and that
came just about to the tops of the boots. Then he put his
box under his arm, and started for the nursery. He stopped
a moment, and looked at that box. He wondered, with some
interest precisely what his mother was going to say when she
He torgot all about that, though,when lie came to go up the
stairs. Such a time as he had climbing those stairs First
he trod on the dressing-gown with one foot, and fell flat, and
bumped his nose ; then he trod on it with the other foot, and
fell down and bumped his nose again ; then lie trod on it with
both feet, and tripped up, and sat down hard. Then Max's
hat slipped down to his neck, O, how dark it was inside
that hat! and he pushed it up, and it slipped down again,
and he jerked it up, and it jerked down; then the long
sleeves of the dressing-gown folded up on the outside so
that he lost his fingers altogether, and while he was trying to
find them, down went the hat again; then he dropped the
DR. TROTTY. 33
medicine-box, and tipped out all the bottles, and when he
stooped to pick them up, down came the hat; then he
tried to climb up on all fours," and his rubber boots fell
off behind and flopped from stair to stair.. He sat down in
despair to watch them hopping down, wherr darkness fell,
and there was that hat.
However, he managed, with a patience worthy of a better
cause, to gain the nursery door at last. The baby, in her
mending-basket, lay with her face all puckered into a red
Good afternoon, mum," said Dr. Trotty. "I 'm sorry to
find you so sick, mum. You should say, How do you do,
Dr. Trotty ?' and let me see your tongue."
This, by the way, was a most unnecessary remark, for one
could see, not only the baby's tongue, but three quarters of
the way down the baby's screaming throat. Trotty lifted
her out of the basket, and gravely put one of Lill's dolls'
pewter spoons into her mouth. He had n't'the shadow of
an idea what for, you know; but he had seen Dr. Bryonia
use a spoon when Max had the diphtheria, and he supposed
that it was the proper thing to do. The baby did n't like the
taste of the spoon, and sputtered and wriggled and screamed
harder than ever.
Your tongue is quite serious, mum," said Dr. Trotty, -
"quite serious. And your pulps," -lhe pinched her right
elbow several times, -" your pulps, mum, is horrid! You '11
have to be a good boy, and take this medicine,--I mean
34 THE TROTTY BOOK.
girl, and not kick the tumbler over, like I did the day after
I got at the sardine-box, -and so you'll get well, you see,
and have some candy."
He filled the pewter spoon from the bottles of water, and
gave the baby a dose. This was very easy, you see, because
her mouth was open so wide that all he had to do was to put
the spoon in and tip it over; she was crying so hard that
she must either swallow it, or choke. Trotty found the pro-
cess quite entertaining.
By and by he did not care about feeding her with a spoon
any more; she had stopped crying, and the fun was gone.
I s'pose you'll have to take a whole bottleful. this time,"
he said hopefully.- You might die, if you did n't, 'n' when
I tip it bottom up'ards, it comes out just as cunning you
Just as he put his hand into the box to take out one of the
bottles of water, that hat went down to his shoulders. In the
dark he emptied the bottle down the baby's throat. In the
dark he heard her gasp and cry out. When he pushed up
the hat 0 the poor baby the poor baby it was not the
bottle of water that he had given her, but the bottle nearly
empty now of yellow medicine. Across the yellow bottle
a yellow label was pasted, and on it in distinct, black letters
was a word which Trotty could not read, Aconite.
Kathleen was just telling the grocer's boy what a saucy
fellow he was, when the kitchen door opened slowly, and a
very white little face peeped in, under a great hat.
,, ,W t
i lI I .. ....'' L
,, ,, ___ _...._
' _' ,, i,
.. . .. .-.
DR -. ._-_
,, ,D RT..
I_ '. "
,; ""': "-Z.:-
-c- .r- -..~----
:,.:- _- __-=~~~L~- ~ ~ I
.... -- -.__
DR. TROTTY. 35
"You'd better come up to the baby," it said faintly;
" she 's squealin' and kickin' all in a heap on the floor. We
were playing Dr. Trotty, and-"
0 my good gracious!" Kathleen ran up stairs, three
steps at a time, and her face was as white as the baby's little
doctor's when she came to where the baby lay.
The carryall drove into the yard just as the grocer's boy
was driving out. Kathleen's sobs came down through the
open window, and the baby's gasping scream. Aunt Mat-
thews was up stairs in less time than it takes to say so.
Kathleen was wringing her helpless hands. Trotty, extin-
guished by his hat, sat behind the bed, and the baby,, in
convulsions, was writhing on the floor. The cry ran
through the house: Poisoned Poisoned! Oh the baby's
Then there was the sound of Max galloping for Dr. Bry-
onia, -of Dr. Bryonia galloping back, of quick orders,
and sobs, and cries, and steps running to and fro. By and
by, silence, and Dr. Bryonia coming slowly down stairs, and
driving slowly away.
They hunted all over the house for poor little Dr. Trotty.
His mother found at last, in a corner, a queer little figure, all
hat and boots, sitting with his face to the wall..
"Trotty," said she.
He made no answer.
"Trotty, the baby-"
Trotty tumbled into her lap, hat and boots and all, and
buried his face under her arm.
36 THE TROTTY BOOK.
SO, I did n't mean to kill her, I did n't mean to kill her!
0 mamma, mamma, mamma! I was only going to be Dr.
Trotty, and ve homeopoptic box got tipped about, and ve old
hat fell down, and ven sumfin was 'e matter to her all to
Why, Trotty, hush the baby is n't dead. There, don't
cry so Dr. Bryonia has given her some medicine, and he
thinks God won't let her die now. Come put both your
hands in mother's, and we '11 kneel right down here and
thank Him! "
THE REVEREND MR. TROTTY. 37
THE REVEREND'MR. TROTTY.
l :" NE Sunday it rained. Not that it
-- never rained on any other of Trot-
t* ~. ty's Sundays, but that it did rain
-' '' that especial Sunday.
i' Trotty sat on the window-sill,-
it was a narrow window-sill, and he
kept slipping off with a little jerk,
I- B M and climbing up and slipping off,-
Sfeeling of the sash with his eye-
lashes, and flattening his nose on
I _- __-_ the glass. Great drops splashed
and splattered down the panes;
little puddles stood on the sill; the trees blew about; the
road was wet, and the mud was deep.
Come, Trotty," said Lill.
"Yes," said Trotty.
Come, Trotty," said his mother, five minutes later.
Yes 'um;" said Trotty; but he did not move.
He 's watching for Mr. Hymnal," exclaimed Lill; it is
late for him ; I wonder where he is."
88 THE TROTTY BOOK.
Mr. Hymnal was going to preach that day; he drove over
from East Bampton on an exchange; he was to dine with
Trotty's mother, and Trotty felt burdened with the entire
responsibility of him.
I declare exclaimed his mother, at the end of another-
five minutes. There 's the bell this moment, and Trotty
must have his jacket changed, and his boots blacked, and his
hair brushed, and his coat sponged. I sent him to wash his
hands just three quarters of an hour ago. Has n't touched
them ? I presume not. Nor found that blue ribbon yet,
either, have you, Trotty ? The little blue bow, you know,
grandmamma, that he wears at his throat. He sewed it all
into a knot with black linen thread yesterday, and harnessed
the cat into it the day before ; the last I saw of it, he had
hung Jerusalem by it on the banisters, and Trotty! Trotty!
Leave that window now, and come right here to me "
I s'pose if he should n't come, I 'd have to preach my-
self," observed Trotty, with a thoughtful sigh, as Lill pulled
him up stairs by the curls, that little arrangement, by the
way, was Lill's forlorn hope in her management of Trotty.
To command, persuasion, and entreaty he had a dignified
habit of paying just no attention at all. Should she lead him
by one"hand, he was skilled in pinching her with the other.
Did she imprison both his little round wrists, you may be-
lieve that he knew how to kick She might carry him in her
arms, but he understood perfectly how to lift up his voice
and weep in such an effective manner that the united family
THE REVEREND MR. TROTTY. 39
flocked to the spot to see "What Lill was teasing Trotty
about now." But when she once had a firm hold of those
curls, it was like taking a handful of sunbeams, Trotty
was outgeneralled. Wherever Lill went, there he could not
conveniently refuse to follow. Sometimes, indeed, he pre-
ferred having his hair nearly pulled.out by the roots, to yield-
ing the field, and then, Lill being too gentle really to hurt
"him, the case was hopeless. On one occasion he contrived to
make a timely use of the scissors, and clip off a large front
curl, and Lill walked on with it for some time before she
found out that he was n't behind it.
Trotty was brushed and washed and dusted and tied and
buttoned and pinned at last; mamma was ready, and Lill, and
Max; the bell rang and the bell tolled, but Mr. Hymnal did
It must be the mud and hard driving that have delayed
him," said mamma. Very likely he will stop at the church
without coming to the house; we won't wait any longer, I
Trotty began to look sober. When they came in sight of
the church, he bobbed out from under Lill's umbrella and ran
through the rain to his mother.
Mamma, if the minister does n't come, may I preach ? "
0 yes," said Mrs. Tyrol, laughing at what she thought
was some of Trotty's fun." You may preach," and
thought no more of what she said.
Mr. Hymnal's horse was not in the sheds; Mr. Hymnal was
40 THE TROTTY BOOK.
not in the pulpit. Trotty sat down in the tall box-pew and
thought about it.
I want the corner," said he to Max mysteriously, and
Max, to please him, lifted him into the corner. The church
was nearly full; the people began to grow still; the pulpit
was yet empty. A door opened somewhere; Trotty kneeled
on top of some hymn-books, and, turning around, looked at-
tentively over the house. The blind organist had just come
into the gallery, and was groping his way along with his cane,
which made little taps on the floor. Trotty sat down again.
In a minute another door opened, and a pew door flapped.
Up went Trotty's curls and eyes again, where all the audience
could see. It was old Mrs. Holt that time, Mrs. Holt who
was always late, and who wore the three-cornered green
glasses, and walked like a horse going up hill. She tripped
over a cricket as she went into her pew, and Trotty's curls
and eyes laughed out; he never could help laughing at Mrs.
Holt, the people saw him turn as pink as a rosebud, and
disappear under Max's arm. He felt so ashamed Presently
a door opened again, and some very new boots creaked very
loudly up the whole length of the broad aisle. Up jumped
Trotty in a hurry now. Everybody thought that they were
the minister's boots, and so did he. But it was only an old
deacon in a black satin stock; he sat down slowly, slowly but-
toned his pew door, slowly sunk his chin into his stock, and
slowly and severely coughed; a sort of slow astonishment that
everybody should be looking at him crept into his wrinkles
THE REVEREND MR. TROTTY. 41
and his eyebrows. He concluded that he must have put his
wig on crookedly, and in feeling around to find out he pulled
But nobody else came in after that; the empty pulpit
stared down at the people; the people stared up at the
empty pulpit. Silence fell, deepened, grew painful, grew
awful, grew funny. Two small boys in the gallery smiled
audibly. The old ladies put their handkerchiefs to their
mouths. The Deacon in the wig looked at another Deacon ;
another Deacon looked at them both; a fourth Deacon beck-
oned to the third Deacon; then all the Deacons whispered
What was going to happen next ?
Trotty had been sitting very still.
His mother, as it chanced, had her hand over her eyes just
then. Max was well, to tell the truth, Max was too busy
in wishing that the veil on Nat's pretty sister's pretty hat
did not fall so far over her face to notice much of anything
Suddenly they heard a stir. A choked laugh ran from
slip to slip. Everybody was looking into the broad aisle,
and Dear me where was Trotty ?
Out in the middle of the great empty aisle, with one hand
stuck jauntily in the pocket of his little Zouave trousers, and
a huge hymn-book in the other, with his cap on back side in
front, ribbons and curls tossed into his eyes, dimple smoothed
severely away, and a ministerial gravity on his pink chin,
42 THE TROTTY BOOK.
lIII lil, Y
Before they knew what he was about, he was on the plat-
form. Before they could reach him, he had begun to climb
the pulpit stairs.
Just at that point he felt Max's hand upon his collar, and
the next he knew he was securely buttoned into the pew
again, at a safe distance from the door.
THE REVEREND MR. TROTTY. 43
Could a young minister, on the occasion of preaching his
first sermon, bear such a surprising turn of affairs with calm-
ness ? Was it not enough to quench the ambition of a life-
time, and ruffle the patience of the saints? Any clerical
opinion on this. point, if forwarded to the address of the
Reverend Mr. Trotty, in my care, or to me, in his care, -
will be thankfully received, and duly appreciated.
I was a goin' to preach," said Trotty, quite aloud, standing
up in the pew, and squaring at Max with both fists. You
never pulled Mr. Hymnal round that way, you know you
didn't! Now, I should like to know why you-"
0 hush, Trotty hush! His mother drew him down
out of people's sight, but he turned on her with the quiet
assurance of victory :-
You said I might preach! You said I might, on ve
way over Now we have n't got any minister, and it's just
all your fault! "
Just then there was a noise at the green, muffled doors,
and Mr. Hymnal came walking very fast up the aisle.
He could not imagine what all the people were laughing at.
He wondered so much, that he read the Missionary Hymn
in this way, -
"From Greenland's icy mountains,
From India's coral strand,
Where Afric's soda fountains
Roll down their golden sand."
But somebody says I should not tell you how he read it,
44 THE TROTTY BOOK.
for fear that you may laugh the next time you hear it in
Under the circumstances, Mrs. Tyrol thought that Trotty
had better stay at home that afternoon.
Feeling quite insulted, but a little too proud to say so,
Trotty watched the rest walking off to the music of the
ringing bells, and then sat down with Jerusalem to watch the
rain. He amused himself for a while by counting the little
dreary drops that rolled down the glass and melted away
into the wet sill, but by and by that began to be dull work,
and lie told Jerusalem that he thought they had better go to
church; he had a very good sermon, which he should have
preached this morning if it had n't been for that old Max;
if Jerusalem would be a good boy and not knock the hymn-
books down, nor cry for candy, he might hear it now. Jeru-
salem bowed his empty head,- nothing came more naturally
to Jerusalem than making bows, -so Trotty tied him into
the high-chair, and himself mounted the dining-room table,
with a sofa-cushion, a Bible, and Mother Goose, to preach.
That table made an excellent pulpit, when mamma
wasn't there to take you down! and Jerusalem was as
quiet and attentive an audience as a clergyman could ask
for. Biddy was in the kitchen, and would have been glad
of an invitation, but Biddy had a way of laughing in church
which was very disagreeable. Trotty thought that she could
not have been taught, when she was a little girl, to pay good
attention to the sermon.
THE REVEREND MR. TROTTY. 45
So Trotty preached to Jerusalem, and Jerusalem listened
to Trotty, half through the dark, wet, windy afternoon. I
am sorry not to have a phonographic report of that sermon,
but Jerusalem, who gave me the account of it, gave it from
memory only, so that I fear a large part of the minister's
valuable thoughts are lost. A few have been preserved in
fragments, as follows: -
My text will be found in the first chapter of Methuselah:
'I love vem vat love me, and vose vat seek me early sha' n't
find me,' sit still, Jerusalem -Moses was a very good
man. 'Lijah went up in a shariot of fire. I believe I saw
him one time last summer when there was a thunder-storm. -
Jerusalem! don't drum on 'e hymn-books in meeting time. -
Once when I had a white kitty she died and went to heaven.
I know 'most she went to heaven, 'cause she was so white,
and she never scratched me but once. I don't like dogs, not
big black ones. They bark. I don't like the dark either.
Samuel was afraid of the dark. So 'm I. Now I lay me -
you can't say, Now I lay me, Jerusalem Schildren, obey
your parents, and unite in singing the 'leventh psalm: John
Brown's Body, old metre: Amen."
Before the singing was over, the little minister espied a
saucer of parched corn on the sideboard, and the idea struck
him, what a nice stuffing it would make for Jerusalem's head.
So, after telling the choir to keep right on, he climbed down
from the pulpit, and began to drop the corns, one by one, into
the doll's silk skull. This was great fun. When it was
46 THE TROTTY BOOK.
filled to the top, Jerusalem found that he could hold his head.
up as straight and stiff as other people. In fact, he might to
this day have been able to look the world in the eye, if
it had not been for the little circumstance, that, one by
one, those corns mysteriously disappeared. Where they
went to Jerusalem has never revealed ; but the truth re-
mains unquestioned, that before Mr. Trotty's sermon was
over, that poor head hung despondent and empty. As for
the saucer on the sideboard that was empty too.
When the real people came home from the real church,
they found the Reverend Mr. Trotty drawing his audience
noisily all over the house in a tip-cart.
0, I'm sorry," said mamma, laying her gentle hand on his
shoulder. We don't play with tip-carts on God's Sunday. '
Well," said Trotty, after some thought; you see I 'm a
little boy, and don't know any better "
I think we '11 have a little catechism after that," thought
So when she had put away her things she took him up in
her lap, and began the only catechism that Trotty knew, -it
was one of his own making.
"Trotty, what did the wicked man do to President Lin-
coln ? "
What did we do when we heard about it? "
"Where did President Lincoln go ?"
THE REVEREND MR. TROTTY. 47
Up to heaven."
"Will Trotty go, if he is a good boy ? "
What did the wicked men do to the poor black people ? "
Shut 'em up."
What did President Lincoln do ?"
Let 'em out."
Trotty," rather softly, who else has gone to heaven?"
What will he do when he sees his little boy? "
Come running' right out to meet me."
What else ?"
Who is building a little home for Trotty in heaven ?"
The Lord Jesus Christ, mamma."
What would my little boy say to the Lord Jesus Christ ? "
O, I 'd let Him kiss me."
What else ?"
I 'd shake hands to Him."
Anything more ? "
I 'd send my love to Him !"
That night they let Trotty sit up half an hour later than
he ever had done before. Grandmother said that she thought
he was old enough to stay to prayers on Sabbath nights and
hear the singing.
So Trotty stayed, and when they were singing the Battle
Hymn of the Republic," he joined in on a shrill tenor, with
48 THE TROTTY BOOK.
" Hang Jeff Davis ; when they attempted Maitland," he
struck up each line just as the rest had finished it; when
nobody was looking, he gave himself the pleasure of a little
practice with both fists on the bass keys, and when they
scolded him for it, he crept under the piano and sat down on
the pedals. Altogether he enjoyed the evening very much.
Why don't you sing that one 'bout going to heaven in a
steamboat? he asked several times.
Going to heaven in a steamboat? Nobody could guess
what he meant.
O, I know," said Lill at last. He means Homeward
They played Homeward Bound" to please him, and he
Stiddy 0 Pilot! Stand firm at the wheel! "
with his mouth very wide open, and dancing up and down
hard all the time on Max's corns.
After the singing everybody repeated a hymn or a Bible
verse. Trotty listened with bright eyes. His turn came last.
They all wondered what he would say.
Come, Trotty," said mamma. Trotty stood up with his
hands in his pockets, and slowly and solemnly said: -
"I had a little hobby-horse,
His name was Dapple Gray,
Iis head was made of peel-straw,
His tail was made of hay."
0, how they all laughed !
THE REVEREND MR. TROTTY. 49
I don't see what 's the matter with me," said Trotty,
almost ready to cry. Besides, if Lill knew how ugly she
looks a laughing' she 'd stop."
That was n't exactly a hymn, you know," said his moth-
er, trying to be sober. You come and stand by me, and say
'Dear Jesus,' and let Lill see how well you know it."
And it was so pretty to hear him that I think I must copy
the words just as he pronounced them.
SDear Zhesus ever at my side,
How loving vou must be,
To leave vy home in heaven to guide
A little shild like me.
I cannot feel ve touch my hand
Wiv pressure light and mild,
To sheck me as my mover does
Her little wayward shild.
But I have felt ve in my fought
Rebukin' sin for me,
And when my heart loves God, I know
Ve sweetness is from ve.
And when, dear Saviour, I kneel down
Mlornin' and night to prayer,
Sumfin vere is wivin my heart,
Vat tells me Vou art vere."
50 THE TROTTY BOOK.
MISS PUMPKIN'S SCHOOL.
AMMA, Lill's got a headache, in
the front of her forehead, 'n' Bid-
S.'. i day's making blue-morange and says
,I .-- ,,, .I stick my fingers in, 'n' Jerusalem
S fell into ve milk-pan and feels a little
i .. damp, and I have n't anyfing to do,
S"Well, let me see; suppose
you bring your wooden spelling-
book and play here on the floor by me awhile."
The wooden spelling-book was a box of bright red and
yellow blocks, yes, just like yours, I presume, on which
the alphabet was painted in large black letters. Trotty built
cars of these blocks, and railroads, and railroad stations, and
churches, and bridges, and mills, and giants, and gravestones,
and walls, and barns, and bricks, and babies, and Congress-
men, and kittens; but he never had troubled himself much
about the letters.
Spell Cat with them," said mamma, trying to think of
something new. Do you know which letters to take ? "
MISS PUMPKIN'S SCHOOL. 51
O yes, he was quite sure that he knew which letters to
take, because, did n't she 'member ? she marked 'em for him
with a lead-pencil last week a good many years ago ?
So he took the three blocks with the pencil-marks on them,
and studied over them awhile profoundly. His mother looked
up by and by.
"AT C, ATC? Why, Trotty! can't you come any
nearer than that ? Does that sound like Cat ? "
I don't know," said Trotty, with a puzzled face.
He tried again; he slipped and shoved the blocks about;
he groaned and coughed ; he knotted his pink forehead, and
puckered his pink chin ; he stuck his little fat forefinger into
his dimple, and sighed with a studious air. After some
minutes, his mother examined the blocks once more.
Why, that's just the way you had them before. A T C
again. You'll never spell Cat in that way."
But vose are ve letters wiv 'e pencil-marks," persisted
Trotty, looking blank.
His mother went up stairs to get some work, and when she
came down, she .had been gone about five minutes, she
found the little student fast asleep in a sunbeam, and the red
and yellow blocks beside him, carefully arranged in his last
despairing effort to spell Cat,- T A C.
She picked him up, blocks and all, and rolled him upon
the sofa to finish his nap, where everybody could n't step on
him; then went to grandmother to talk the matter over.
I believe I shall make a dunce of the boy, if I keep him
52 THE TROTTY BOOK.
at home from school any longer, and I cannot undertake
to teach him with all that I have to do. What do you sup-
pose he would do at Miss Pumpkin's? "
Eat apples, and take the measles, and get whipped; but
it is time he knew something. Suppose you let him go ? "
So, one bright morning, as Trotty was calmly speculating
over his griddle-cakes how he could manage to take from
grandmother's work-basket that roll of blue silk cord, neces-
sary to certain telegraphic ventures in which he had planned
to embark that day, he was startled from his unsuspecting
repose by the announcement that he was to call for Nat at
nine o'clock, and spend two hours of the morning at Miss
Pumpkin's school. And not that morning only, but all the
For a whole long term said Lill, a bit triumphantly.
It had always been rather a trial to Lill, that Trotty could
stay at home and play, while she must go to school.
Besides," said she, go to school to a nice big man
with whiskers, and Miss Pumpkin's nothing but an old
What's an old maid ? asked Trotty, looking frightened.
It's a- Max began to explain. But his mother inter-
rupted in a tone of decision.
A good, kind, generous old lady, who does not want to
O," said Trotty, with an air of relief, I did n't know
but it was sumfin that bites."
MISS PUMPKIN'S SCHOOL. 53
A little before nine they curled him and washed him and
kissed him, and he started away, holding tightly to the tip
of Lill's little finger with one hand, and hugging his box of
blocks with the other. He passed the basket where the blue
silk cord was lying with calmness. Poor little innocent!
He really thought it was going to be as much fun to go to
school, as to play at telegraphing. Just after they had shut
the front gate, he carelessly observed that he must go back
again for a minute.
What for ? asked Lill.
Well, I guess to get a drink of water. Or, maybe, I
did n't kiss grandma, you know."
O, you don't want anything Come I 'm in a hurry."
But Trotty tossed away her little finger, and ran in. He
came out looking very wise, and diligently stuffing both hands
into his pocket. As he trudged along, something slowly rose
to sight, and stuck out over the edge of that pocket. It was
one of Jerusalem's feet. 'But nobody saw it.
Lill's road turned off at Nat's. Trotty watched her walk
away with just the least sinking at the heart. He began to
wish that she were going with him.
What do they make you do at school ? said he to Nat,
as they ran along together.
0, have recess, and play tag. Then if you stick pins
into the next boy, you get a whipping. One time I stuck a
needle into Johnny Beard. You ought to heard him squeal.
Besides, you have to spell your lesson. I can spell Cat; can
54 THE TROTTY BOOK.
Almost," said Trotty, feeling a little ashamed.
I don't believe you know very much," grandly from Nat.
"I can quite spell Cat. I nearly spelled Kitten last week, too.
Besides, I can spell Puppy: P-o-p, pop, p-y, py, Puppy."
I should n't wonder if I could spell Papa," said Trotty,
hopefully. P-a-r, pa -" he gave out at that point, and
coughed thoughtfully. At any rate," reviving a little, my
father's dead, and hanging up in a beautiful gold frame in
the parlor. I'm going to have his watch-chain when I'm a
Well," said Nat, determined not to be outdone, "my
father's getting dead, I guess. He's going to be dead, I
heard him say so the other day. His watch-chain's all black
silk, with a little gold key on it."
By that time they had come to the school-house. Miss
Pumpkin kept school in one of the lower rooms of an old,
deserted boarding-house. The building looked dreary enough
from the outside, with the windows boarded up, and the blinds
gone ; but the school-room itself was pleasant. About a
dozen little children sat at little desks, with little books be-
fore them. The windows were open, and the sweet spring
air blew in. An English ivy wound about Miss Pumpkin's
desk. Miss Pumpkin, sitting behind it, was a gentle-faced
lady, very little, and not very young ; she had gray hair, and
she wore a black dress.
Nat pushed open the door, and dragged Trotty in by the
MISS PUMPKIN'S SCHOOL. 55
He 's come to school. He walked 'long with me. He
does n't know very much. He can't spell Cat. Ican spell
Cat: C-a-t, Cat."
Poor Trotty, thus introduced, blushed to his curls, and
stood still in the middle of the room.
That will do, Nat," said the teacher. You can go to
your seat. Well, Trotty, I am glad to see you; good morn-
Good morning, Mrs. Punkins !" said Trotty, on a very
high key. All the scholars laughed. Poor little Miss Pump-
kin turned as red as Trotty was.
I'm not a married lady," she replied gently. I'm not
Mrs. Pumpkin, but Miss. Hush, children There come
this way,. Trotty; here is a seat all ready for you."
Trotty went, wondering what made the children laugh, and
what made the teacher blush. Nobody could ever make him
understand. I believe that he calls her Mrs. Punkins to this
The children supplied their own furniture at Miss Pump-
kin's school; Max had already taken over a bit of a wooden
rocking-chair and an atom of a" table, for Trotty. The top
of the table lifted like a desk-cover. It stood in a corner
where a warm, yellow sunbeam fell softly.
Miss Pumpkin told Trotty to put his blocks into the table;
then she gave him a spelling-book with pictures in it, and
heard him say his letters, and taught him how to spell Cat;
then she went away and left him to study by himself.
56 THE TROTTY 00K.
Now Trotty had just about as much of an idea how to
study as Jerusalem. It struck him.that two hours would be
a long time to sit up at a little table in a little rocking-chair,
with a little sunbeam dancing on his head, and he began to
look about for something entertaining to do.
The pictures in the spelling-book looked promising, and he
began to turn over the leaves very fast. By and by he came
to a funny picture of a monkey running away with an old
gentleman's hat, and what should he do but laugh right
He he he he "- the prettiest little gurgle of a
laugh that ever was.
Hush, Trotty said the teacher. That frightened him,
and for a few moments he turned over the leaves soberly and
silently. Pretty soon.it came again.
"He he-e-e-e -that irresistible -little laugh!
Trotty said Miss Pumpkin, biting her lip.
"'Here 's he he he -a boy standing on his-he he!
- head! rippled Trotty; and Jerusalem's feet, over the edge
of his pocket, shook as he laughed.
By and by Nat saw those feet, and Nat laughed; then
Trotty saw Nat laugh, and Trotty laughed; then Nat caught
hold of one of Jerusalem's feet and tried to pull him away,
and Trotty held on to the other and pulled him back, and
between the two poor Jerusalem was nearly torn in twain.
Trotty," said the teacher, suspiciously, are you 'most
ready to spell Dog ?"
MISS PUMPKIN'S SCHOOL. 57
Thus silenced, Trotty opened his spelling-book again;
gravely and with some difficulty set the doll down in front
of it, and when the children looked up, he and Jerusalem
were studying together.
Presently Jerusalem fell down on the floor, and Trotty
picked him ,up by sticking his linger into the hole in his
empty head ; then he fell down again, and he spiked him up
with Nat's jack-knife ; then he fell down once more, and he
speared him up with a lead-pencil. Poor Jerusalem was in
such a state of mind and body that, as he has since told me,
he really gave up in despair that morning all idea of com-
pleting his education.
By and by Trotty thought what fun it would be to wash
Jerusalem's face in Nat's ink-bottle. So he washed it care-
fully with his own little white handkerchief, and wondered
what made the handkerchief grow so ugly and black, and
where all those little damp black spots on the table that he
kept putting his elbows into came from.
There was a little girl with white hair sitting on the other
side of him, and when he was tired of washing Jerusalem,
he wondered how funny she would look if somebody poured
the rest of that ink right in the middle of her head on top;
whether 'her hair would always be black hair after it, or
whether it would grow-a little streaked like a black and white
kitty's, and how the little girl would like it. He leaned
across to ask her, with the ink-bottle in one hand all ready to
experiment ; but Miss Pumpkin shook her head at him, which
he thought was very inconsiderate in her.
58 THE TROTTY BOOK.
After that Nat gave him an apple-core, and Trotty nibbled
at it for a long time, giving Jerusalem little bites occasionally
with a grave face. The way in which Jerusalem used to eat
was by having the mouthfuls dropped into his head at the
hole on top. Trotty stuffed them in with a jack-straw which
he had in his pocket.
This tickled the little girl with white hair so that she
laughed quite aloud, and Miss Pumpkin snapped her knuckles.
They were soft little white knuckles, and the little girl cried.
Trotty felt sorry.
He felt so sorry that he put Jerusalem away in his pocket
again, and laid his head down in the sunbeam and kept still.
He kept so very still that everybody forgot him, and when the
alphabet class was called out to recite, Miss Pumpkin found
that he was fast asleep, with his cheek on his hands and his
curls in his eyes.
It 's almost too bad to wake him up," she said, but I
suppose I must. Come, Trotty I want you to say a lesson
Trotty dug both fists into his eyes, and winked and blinked
and nodded and yawned and coughed, and -t ,_.-: sleepily
out into the middle of the room where the alphabet class was
Remembering that Jerusalem ought to have the benefit of
the recitation, he pulled him out of his pocket, and stuck him
into his trousers-band where he could see the world.
It chanced that there stood next to him a little boy with a
':"', l I '
-I -_ -, .---
iili a '
:- .. ?8 ,--
/ _,,, _
, ... i~ ._[,. ___ -__. _.__ ______ r:-%. "
-. ,. _---~~II ~ l
I -- -
-`lrl -- IO L
MISS PUMPKIN'S SCHOOL. 59
very loose calico apron on ; the neck of the apron was twice
as large as the neck of the boy, and it stood out stiffly be-
hind, so that you could put your hand down nobody knows
how far. Now, while this little boy was reciting, an idea
came to Trotty. Jerusalem had not been behaving very well
in the trousers-band; lie flopped over and hung down the
wrong way, and would pay no attention at all to the recita-
tion. It occurred to Trotty what a nice place it would be for
him under that stiff apron. So he slowly and softly began
to push his head down the little boy's neck. The little boy
did not notice. Trotty pushed a little harder. The little
boy squirmed. Trotty pushed a little more. The little boy
gasped ;- a little more, the little boy choked.
Spell Dog, Trotty," said Miss Pumpkin.
D," said Trotty, push 0 push G "-an-
other push. Jerusalem was fairly in now. Only his feet
showed over the top of the little boy's apron. The little boy
began to dance about and pull at the doll, who was caught
somewhere on a button, and would n't come out.
Johnny! said Miss Pumpkin, what is the matter?
Come here Why, Trotty Tyrol! did you do this ? "
0 yes," said Trotty, candidly. Is n't he funny ? I
did n't s'pose he 'd dance round. I wanted to find a place
for Jerusalem. I guess I '11 take him out now. I 'm afraid
he '11 think it 's a little dark."
Trotty," said Miss Pumpkin, gravely, you have made
me a great deal of trouble this morning. You must learn
60 THE TROTTY BOOK.
that little boys cannot play in school. You may take your
little rocking-chair and go and sit alone over there by the
door, till I call you."
Trotty did as he was told. The children all looked at him.
He felt ashamed. .He began to think that it was a very bad
thing to go to school. He remembered the blue silk tele-
graph wire, and home, and grandma, and felt as if it were
years and years since he had seen them. He tried to talk a
little to Jerusalem, but Jerusalem hung his mortified head
and would give him no comfort. Something began to feel
damp in his eyes. Something choked him in his throat.
Something rolled down his two cheeks and fell on Jerusalem's
He began to look carefully at Miss Pumpkin out of the
corner of one eye. Then he looked carefully at the door.
Then he looked carefully at the children.
He was so still that nobody noticed him.
"Why! where's Trotty?" said Miss Pumpkin, all at
Where was he ? The little rocking-chair was empty. The
door stood wide open. Something shot past the window, and
away down the dusty road. With curls flying, hat off, and
Jerusalem hugged under one arm, there was Trotty running
for home as fast as he could go.
Grandmother was calmly mending stockings on the porch,
when the gate slammed and in walked Trotty.
"Why, Trotty school can't be out yet. You have n't been
gone an hour."
MISS PUMPKIN'S SCHOOL. 61
O, I don't know 's I care if I have n't," remarked my
Lord, carelessly. I don't like going to school. Mrs. Pun-
kins made me sit in a chair on the floor. I could n't spell
Dog. I got a little inky. Jerusalem made me a great deal
of trouble. Now, if you 'll let me have some of your blue
silk string, I guess I believe I 'd rather grow up a dunce."
62 THE TROTTY BOOK.
ES, he must go back to school, of course;
Si -.I but I 've a notion to let him stay at home
S_. with Lill this week while we are all away
j .;' 1 '. at Aunt Matthew's. He will be company
::- "',, ) for her ; besides, I want to go with him to
S'"'._""- Miss Pumpkin's myself, the next time lie
:' i- tries it. What do you think, grandmoth-
1. er ?
Grandmother thought that the plan was
a good one, and they called Trotty from the mazes of his
blue silk telegraph wire to tell him about it. As the idea of
being sent to school again had never so much as occurred to
him, he viewed the week's vacation placidly, and sent the
news by especial despatch over the dining-room sofa, directly
to the Emperor of Austria and the Queen of England.
But when the week is over you will have to go to school
again, you see," said Lill, trying to make him understand.
But a week was far how very far away, and Trotty
shook his curls with a fearless smile.
I don't know 'bout that," he said impressively. "I think
LILL'S HOUSEKEEPING. 63
God is pretty apt to let me do what I want to; 'cept once
when I did n't have any mince-pie at Thanksgiving dinner,
and another time yesterday when Biddy would n't let me sail
my slipper in ve boiler. -Now you 're right in my telegraph
office, and if you don't get out 1 '11 frow Jerusalem at you! "
When he went to bed that night he prayed: -
0 God, if I should rather be a dunce, don't let peoples
laugh at me. Bless me and all 'e little dunces forever.
Amen. Oh, and bless Max, and don't let him have 'e ty-
phoid fever off to college. Make New Haven a healthy
place. And make Biddy bake me and Lill a lot of little
griddle-cakes for supper every night while mamma's away at
Mamma went away the next day, and Biddy did cook a
lot of little griddle-cakes for the children's supper; cunning
little griddle-cakes about as large as a silver dollar (ask your
great-grandfather, if you have one, how large that is), and
about as crisp as a fresh cracker, which, I think, consider-
ing that it was washing-day, was very good in Biddy.
So Trotty, half asleep, that night prayed again: -
"0 Lord, ve griddle-cakes were very nice. I frank you
for doing just as I told you to, last night."
You understand," said Lill, the next morning, that I
am just like mother this week, you know ; and you must do
as I tell you all the time."
0 yes," said Trotty, with his fingers in the sugar-bowl.
And you see mother said she could be gone four days, if
64 THE TROTTY BOOK.
we were well and good and happy. And she 'needs the rest,
I 'm sure."
Lill spoke with a thoughtful sigh. I don't suppose she
had the least idea that it was not solely on account of her
mother's improved health, that four days' housekeeping seemed
After breakfast she went out into the kitchen to order
We will have I think we will have chicken to-day, you
know, Biddy ; fricasseed chicken."
Can't make fricassees with me irons on the stove," said
Biddy. Biddy never spoke more respectfully in her life.
But Biddy's eyes were full of fun.
Well, let me see, roast lamb then ; roast lamb and sweet
We generally has roast lamb before the critters is all
sheep, and sweet potatoes is this two months gone by."
Well, we might have sausages at any rate; sausage is
easy to cook ; sausages and whips now, Biddy."
Sausage is pison this year," said the ready Biddy. Be
the death of us all before your ma got home. You can't
have whip widout wine, and it's the wine-closet that she locked
up before lavin'."
But she told me where the key is; she always trusts me
with her keys. A little sponge-cake is very good in whips,
LILL'S HOUSEKEEPING. 65
0, well, the cooking-wine is all out," emphasized Biddy,
with her thumping irons. Your mother used the last over
the cake-pudding when your uncle Dan'l was here."
Did she ? Let me think What do you think, Biddy ?
Shall we have- "
I-ash! said Biddy, promptly. What 's left of yester-
day's beef-steak will chop up enough for the two of you. I
told the butcher yesterday we should n't want him till to-
And for dessert, now, Biddy ? Lill ran her finger along
the window-sill to test the dust, with a matronly air, and
breathlessly awaited the answer. It came relentless and
With sauce ? a good butter and sugar sauce ?"
It 's no time I '11 have to be making' sauce the day.
There 's milk and sugar, plenty."
Very well," said Lill, after a solemn silence. I think
that will do. Hash and sago pudding. It will do very well:
Biddy. And if there 's anything more wanted you can let
If there were any two things in this world, which Lill
would have been perfectly resigned never to see again, they
were hash and sago pudding without sauce.
She never very clearly understood whether it was she or
Biddy who ordered that dinner.
In fact, she was so much puzzled about it that she forgot
66 THE TROTTY BOOK.
to send out her directions for supper, and perverse Biddy
opened a fresh jar of marmalade as a consequence.
I find Biddy a great responsibility," she observed to
Gerty, who was in that afternoon.
She must be sighed Gerty. I went through with it
myself when mother was in Fall River. I went through with
it all with Jane."
But if Biddy was a responsibility, Trotty was a night-
The first day he emptied six ink-bottles all he could find
in the house into the milk-pan; pasted pictures from
Harper's Weekly all over the delicate drawing-room paper-
ing; throw a bag of blueing down the well; wet his feet
seven times, and swallowed a tack-nail.
The second day he ran away into the village and played
four hours and a half with a boy who was down. with scarlet
fever before morning.
The third day it rained.
Now, Trotty," began Lill, courageously, when the first
drops tapped on the pane. Would n't you just as lief not
bother me to death to-day ? "
0 yes," said Trotty, in his easy way, "just as livess"
Because Gerty and Prue Jarvis are coming in to tea with
me to-night, mother said they might, and I shall have a
WORLD to do. And you 're never shut up with a rain-storm,
you know, but you 're just more than the house can bear."
Bear ? I never played bears but once, and that was up
LILL'S HOUSEKEEPING. 67
attics when I was a little boy," said Trotty. I 'd ratherer
play lion. Lions roar. You get under ve table and I '11
But Lill had a letter to write to her mother. Trotty har-
nessed the rocking-chair with two tippets and a garter, and
promised to be still.
Lill wrote in silence for three minutes by the clock. Trotty
drove the rocking-chair to Boston. Then he drove home.
Then he walked about on tip-toe awhile ; then he found out
that his boots squeaked, and entertained himself by adapting
the tune of Beautiful Zion to the squeaks. Then he
knocked down the shovel and pinched his fingers in the
tongs. After that lie crawled in under the dining-table, and
engagingly undertook to lift the board with his head, the
breakfast dishes, being yet unremoved, added some interest
to the scene.
By and by lie softly began.
Lill did not speak.
Lill, I say! "
Lill wrote hard.
0 Lill; I can spell Finite : f-i, fi, n-i-g-h-t, nite, Finight."
Lill crossed her t's in silence.
Anyway, I fink you might tell me what becomes of little
bits of yellow chickens when vey die."
"Lill, to-morrow you must get me free cornballs down
68 THE TROTTY BOOK.
0 Trotty, keep still; perhaps I sha' n't live till to-mor-
': 0 well, if you do live," very cheerfully. I want free
cornballs, and some guava zhelly, and- Look here, Lill!
,I wish I owned all Bampton, and all New York, and- New
England, and New Bedford, and New Zhersey, and -
Pittsburg, and -'e United States, and Brookfield, and
North America, and BOSTON! "
Trotty Tyrol! Here, you can write a letter to mother
yourself, and that may keep you still."
So Trotty, delighted, wrote a letter to his mother.
This is a copy of it, open.
*^l IjVIv^^T 7^^^/TTT^ ^y
0p iWT^'^^ ^ I
LILL'S HOUSEKEEPING. 69
This is a copy of it, sealed.
And this is the translation: he read it aloud to Lill.
Dear Mamma-, this is a letter 'bout me and Nita. Once
I wanted to tip 'e ink-bottle on Nita's hair up to school. It
was so white, and it rains to-day, so vis is a picshure of me
and Nita, and I did n't wet my feet eight times ; it was only
seven. Besides, Biddy says I came down in a mending-
basket, and I fought God frew me down bang! Only I
know how to spell Microscope. M-i-k-e, mike, c-r-o-w, crow -
I've fergutten ve rest. Your dear little Trotty,"
And this is the address.,
At Aunt Matthewses,
Before dinner that day Trotty had only run out in the rain
five times, cut three large embroidered flowers out of the
muslin curtains, eaten about a quarter of a pound of raisins,
and cleaned" the piano keys with the blacking-brush.
But le was so pretty out there in the storm, bareheaded,
70 THE TROTTY BOOK.
and in his soaked little ankle-ties, his curls like strugglh:g
sunbeams, and the rain-drops twinkling all over him,- like a
little statue of a boy in a beautiful fountain And when he
hid with the guilty flowers behind the tattered curtain, shin-
ing pink and frightened through, as if he had been a rosebud
in a snow-storm, what could one say? And he was so
funny and sticky when they caught him at the raisins And
he blacked the piano keys with such innocent great eyes,-
"fought Lill was so busy and he wanted to help "
So Lill scolded him a little, and laughed at him a great deal,
and kissed him a great deal more.
That was before dinner. After dinner she grew a little
tired of it. She had so much to do, or thought she had,
which is the same thing, making ready for Gerty and Prue;
the parlor to dust; the tea-table to set just after her fancy;
and Biddy to help about fresh ginger-bread.
"There! she said at last, when she discovered the young
gentleman digging wells in the strawberry-jam with his
mother's best scissors, and his father's agate paper-cutter.
" There, Trotty! I 've had enough of this. Go away up
garret and play till tea-time, and don't eat the tobacco out of
the carpet-chest, nor throw the furs out of the window! "
After suitable reflection Trotty concluded to go. He
stopped in the kitchen on the way, but Biddy was not there
just then, as Lill afterwards remembered, and in the course
of a few minutes she heard him thumping up the attic stairs
on all fours."
LILL'S HOUSEKEEPING. 71
For an hour the house was still. For an hour Lill planned
and sung over her little tea-party. Biddy was in excellent
humor. The gingerbread was delicious. Lill set the small
sewing-table with her own small tea-set, the delicate
pink-and-white that grandmother gave her four years ago;
the dried beef curled like rose-leaves, the bits of biscuit
smoked sweetly, the marmalade sparkled and shook in tiny
tinted dishes, that, for the sake of eating from, one would
rather be a doll or a little girl than not. The low silver
sugar-bowl served as cake-basket, and spicy, brown slices
filled it full.
The clouds broke a little, and Gerty and Prue came laugh-
ing and chattering through the scattering drops. Biddy had
run out for ten minutes to see a very partikkelar friend," and
the children were all alone in the house. Lill was happy.
It was the first tea-party she had ever given quite by herself.
She meant that everything should be done just right. -Gerty
and Prue should see what a good housekeeper she was. And
in the first place, they should begin punctually. All was
ready. The chairs were set. Lill rang the bell for Trotty.
He did not answer it, and after a moment she went to the
foot of the stairs and called him. But he did not answer
Dear me said Lill.
"I don't like biscuit so well when they 're cold," observed
Gerty, Gerty could say the most uncomfortable things if
72 THE TROTTY BOOK.
"The little plague said Lill again. Well, we must
wait a minute, girls. I '11 go up and find him. It won't
take long. And he's all dressed for tea since three o'clock."
The tears almost came as she went up the stairs. It was
too, bad, too bad !
"Trotty! Trotty !"
This time there came an answer. Half a sob, half a laugh,
it trickled mysteriously down to Lill's ear.
Ye-es, when I get 'em off "
Get 'em off? Get what off? Lill's heart sank. She
cleared the stairs in a hurry, pushed open two or three attic
doors and stopped. Down in the corner, over behind the
trunks and bandboxes, were Trotty, a feather pillow, and a
molasses-jug; but which was pillow, which Trotty, and which
molasses I don't believe you could have told to save your
That he had i'r .-..1 that jug up from the kitchen, tipped
the molasses over on the attic floor, eaten it, walked about in
it, and tumbled into it, then, by way of change of scene,"
ripped the pillow, and been trying to get away from the
feathers ever since, Lill saw. That it would be a twenty-five
minutes' piece of work to restore him, as artists say of
spoiled pictures, that Biddy's ten minutes would be perhaps
an hour, and that Gerty and Prue, savagely hungry, were
saying down stairs, over the cooling biscuit, Pretty house-
keeper she is she felt as Mr. Field felt when the cable
LILL'S HOUSEkEEPING. 73
\', -- -- -"'-'-.
Poor Lill she took hold of Trotty, she thought she was
going to shake him half to death; then, all in a minute, she
turned away, sat down in the molasses with him, and cried as
if her heart would break.
I did n't mean to," said Trotty, crying too. I fought
if I pasted ve feavers all together, I could make a little
schickon. I'm all stuck together. I don't like it. I did
n't want to be a chicken myself! And I fought you 'd
scolded me so! "
74 THE TROTTY BOOK.
But Lill did not scolded him so." And instead of cry-
ing she began to laugh. And Gerty and Prue came up, and
they laughed too who could help it ? at poor little Trotty
tarred and feathered as never anybody was tarred and feath-
Now Gerty and Prue were very good-hearted, though very
hungry little girls, and instead of saying, What a way this
was to keep house they simply went to work and helped
Lill pluck her poor little chickenn" It took fifteen minutes
by the clock to get Trotty out of his feathers and into his
clothes, but the three girls had such a laugh over it as girls
do not get every day. If there were time, I would stop and
tell you how funny it was.
The biscuit had grown quite cool with disgust at being
neglected by the time they sat down to the little table ; but
the rosy beef and fragrant gingerbread looked approval, the
painted plates were smiling, and the marmalade, Lill thought,
winked at her out of a hundred little sparkling eyes.
When she went to bed that night, thinking how she would
tell her mother all about it to-morrow, some words came into
her mind which she tried to put where they belonged ; but
she was so sleepy that they tumbled all about like this.
Greater is he that haveth a tea-party, than he that
shaketh Trotty." No, Greater is he that taketh a city,
than he that But that was not it. Greater is he that
ruleth his own spirit, than he that haveth a tea-party "
That was as near to it as she could come till morning.
NITA'S SECOND COUSIN. 75
NITA'S SECOND COUSIN.
-.-- .- ROTTY went to school again. It
seemed to him a very singular state
of affairs that he should go to school
Again. Heartless mamma returned
him to Miss Pumpkin with a smile.
-- Unfeeling grandmother cheerfully
conducted the blue silk telegraph
business alone. Trotty, with his
Simple under a cloud, and his lip
put up as if a bee had stung it," trudged back again with
Jerusalem over the dusty road. Miss Pumpkin was there,
and the sunshine, and the ivies, just as they were before.
Nita was there, and Nat. The little black rocking-chair,
the scene of his disgrace, was grimly waiting for him. The
spelling-books and the buzzing children were in their dismal
Shades of the prison-house
Begin to close about the growing boy."
If Trotty had been familiar with Mr. Wordsworth, that is
what he would have quoted to Jerusalem on that sorrowful
76 THE TROTTY BOOK.
morning. That, I think, must have been what he meant,
when, in default of speech or language to express his feelings,
he punched poor Jerusalem in the eye, and threw little paper
balls at Miss Pumpkin's waterfall. But Miss Pumpkin was
looking the other way, and did not see.
However, most miseries come to an end if you give them
time enough, and Trotty's spirits were restored in just half
an hour. This was the way.
Mrs. Punkins said he, quite aloud, in the middle of a
" silent study-hour."
Well ? said the teacher, patiently.
I 'd like to know," said Trotty, with a musing air,
"where Mr. Punkins is."
She said there was n't any Mr. Punkins," said Trotty, in
relating the story to grandmother afterwards, and I fought
she looked very sad about it."
But the children raised such a laugh! And of course
Trotty laughed too, though he had n't the least idea at what.
So he began to feel quite happy again.
After that he went to school two hours every day.
Sometimes he sat still, and learned his lessons, and did not
talk to Jerusalem, and had a merit card with six blue
roses, two red angels, and four lines of green poetry on it;
and he thought it was very pleasant.
Sometimes he made steamboats out of his slates, and
cigars out of his slate-pencils, and gravestones out of his
primers ; he drew little girls in Nat's copy-book, and put
NITA'S SECOND COUSIN. 77
molasses-candy down Nita's neck, and had always most fer-
gutten when it came his turn in the spelling-class, and was
sent away into the corner with his hands tied; then he did
not think it was pleasant at all.
One afternoon Trotty thought that he did n't want to go
to school. His hour was from three to four. He started a
little late, and his spelling-class were reciting when he peeped
in at the window.
S'pose I don't go in," said Trotty.
S'pose you do," said Trotty's conscience; for you must
understand that Trotty had a conscience, though it was a very
little, sometimes a very funny little one.
S'pose I go 'way up stairs where ve boards are on ve
windows," said Trotty.
S'pose you take off your hat and go straight into the
spelling-class," said Trotty's conscience.
S'pose I jest have a nice time, now," said Trotty.
"S'pose its 'jest' being a naughty boy," said Trotty's
Well, anyway, I don't want to spell Baker vis afternoon.
S'pose I go up and see," said Trotty.
So, as Trotty had the last of the argument, he crept away
up the dusty stairs of the old boarding-house on tip-toe, up
one flight, up two flights; Miss Pumpkin did not hear him;
nobody heard him. It was a queer place. Trotty investi-
gated all the piles of shavings and old newspapers and
broken chairs that lumbered the landings, tried all the locked
78 THE TROTTY BOOK.
doors, and stuck his foot through all the cobwebs in the
corners. He caught his curls on the nails, cut his fingers on
the broken glass, rubbed the dust all into his eyes, and tried
to rub it out, and rubbed it in all the more. By and by he
found a door unlocked and open. It led into a large room,
empty and still. The windows, boarded up as I said, let the
light through in cracks. Trotty stood still to watch it, and
thought it was very pretty. Little suns and stars burned and
twinkled before his eyes. There were straight cracks like
shining roads, and crooked cracks like heat-lightning. There
were little cracks like golden knitting-needles, and broad
cracks like jewelled pillars. There were round spots and
square spots all on fire. There were great canals of yellow
light cut through, the air, with motes of dust swimming up
and down like. silver fish.
So pretty," thought Trotty, so pretty! He sat down
in the middle of the floor to watch it. The dust puffed up in
clouds about his clean stockings, but he did not notice it.
He turned over a little box by and by for a pillow, and turned
out half a dozen little mice who had made a nest in it. But
he did not mind that at all. The pretty soft creatures
scampered away, and left him laughing. He wished he were
a little mouse to build a house in a box in a roomful of such
beautiful lights. He wondered if it were anything like fairies
that Lill was reading about in a green book last week. He
wondered if he tickled Nita very badly, whether Miss Pump-
kin would n't send him up here some time as a punishment.
NITA'S SECOND COUSIN. 79
And while he wondered his curls sank into his elbow,
and his soft eyelashes dropped over his eyes, and before
he had the'least idea what was going to happen, he was
When he opened his eyes the twinkling stars and burning
suns were gone. Lightning and knitting-needles, pillars and
golden streets, spots and flecks of brightness, were all put out.
He could not even see the boards at the windows, nor could
he tell where the windows were. He was all in the dark.
He was all alone. The wind was blowing furiously, and the
old house shook. Rain was hammering on the roof. The
little mice grown terrible creatures now that he could not
see them scampered about in the dark. One ran over his
feet. Another jumped into his neck.
0 dee! cried Trotty. Dee, dee, dee me "
Dee me! came an echo from the great empty room.
Trotty thought it was the little mice who answered him. He
did not know anything about echoes. Too frightened to
move, he called: -
Mrs. Punkins Lill! Mam-mar-r!"
Mam-mar-r 1 said the echo, mournfully. But neither
mamma nor Mrs. Punkins nor Lill came to their little
Terrified, Trotty crawled to his feet. It occurred to him
that he might get away and get home. He felt his way out
of the dreadful room. He stumbled down the crooked stairs.
He found the familiar entry, and the school-room door. He
80 THE TROTTY BOOK.
tripped over Nita's hoop and hoop-stick, which she had left
in the corner. He did not feel so much afraid now. He
thought he could easily find his way home. He began to re-
member what a big boy he was to have been frightened by
the dark, and a little mouse.
He groped for the door-latch and tried it.
It was locked !
Poor Trotty! He understood now what had happened.
Nobody knew that he was in the pretty twinkling room.
Mrs. Punkins had closed school and gone home with the
children. He had slept till dark. Nobody knew where he
was. And he was locked in.
To stay here all night! To stay here all night alone!
Poor little Trotty! What should he do ? He sat down close
by the locked door, and laid his cheek up against it. All at
once he thought he had better say. his prayers. But these
were all the words he could think of:-
Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray ve Lord my soul to keep. -
However, I think that must have answered the purpose
about as well as a better prayer, for, before he had quite finished
the little frightened, tumbling words, there came voices out
in the storm, and a key turned briskly in the door, and there
were mamma and Mrs. Punkins and a lantern all in a
beautiful tangle, -Trotty hardly knew which was which,-
and warm arms caught him, and sweet kisses fell on his dirty
NITA'S SECOND COUSIN. 81
little cheeks, and soft hands, instead of little mice, crept into
his neck, and -
You need n't fink I 'm going to run off from School
another times sobbed Tiotty. 'd athe spell Baker..
ii *" I* i
B-a, a, c-u-r Baur B-a, ba-"
.,r t es ', .. .t I 't i.r s B
B-a, ba, c-n-r, cur, Bacur ,-,, a--"
6.- .,, .,. .
82 THE TROTTY BOOK.
But nobody wanted him to spell Baker till to-morrow.
One other thing worth telling happened at Mrs. 'Pum-
kin's school. That was when the first examination-day
Mamma was going to be what Trotty called a bored
visitor "; as well as Lill and Max, if Max were at home;
and Nat's father, and Nita's second cousin, and the mother
of the little boy who wore the loose-necked calico apron, and
anybody else belonging to any of Miss Pumpkin's little peo-
ple, who might care to come in and hear the worst recitation
of the term. For the children were so frightened at the idea
of spelling and bounding and adding and subtracting before
Trotty took it more calmly than the rest.
I know how to spell Book," he said, complacently. I
learned right at it all day yesterday. And I know 'most
she '11 give me Book to-morrow, 'cause I told her to.
B-double o-k, Book."
To-morrow came, and the Board of Visitors with it. The
children, in clean aprons, sat up straight and still. Mamma
and Max and Lill, and Nat's father, and the calico boy's
mother, and Nita's second cousin, were there. Nita's second-
cousin was a stout old gentleman with spectacles, and a very
loud cough. Trotty eyed him disapprovingly. He was con-
vinced that he should not like to spell Book to him.
The examination began tremulously, proceeded hopefully,
and ended successfully. Nat said that six into eleven was
NITA'S SECOND COUSIN. 83
forty-three, and Nita insisted on it that Arkansas was the
capital of New York; but on the whole the children knew
what they were about, and told what they knew.
Can any of my little friends spell Nebuchadnezzar ? "
asked Nita's second cousin, after a while. Which was very
inconsiderate in Nita's second cousin, was n't it? All the
" little friends looked first at the second cousin, then a'i
each other. Trotty, alone, smiled fearlessly.
That 's nothing N-e-b, Neb, b-y, Nebby- "
And he thought it was very rude in them to interrupt him
Well, can any of the dear children spell Tomahawk ?"
persisted the ,i .i ',l cousin, coughing loudly.
The dear children looked discouraged and cross. They
scowled at Nita, as if she were to blame for having a second
cousin at all; and they smiled in a superior manner at the
second cousin, as if they were convinced that he could n't
spell Tomahawk himself.
After a solemn pause undismayed Trotty came valiantly to
I can spell it! It's jest as easy T-o-m, tom, m-i, Tom-
mi, g-h-a-u-w-k, hawk, Tomahawk "
Do you suppose anybody in the world but Trotty could
have originated that? whispered Max to his mother.
Providentially Nita's second cousin had such a fit of
coughing after that that he could ask no more terrible ques-
tions, and Miss Pumpkin took up the primer.
84 THE TROTTY BOOK.
Nita spelled Wagon.
Nat spelled Rabbit.
Trotty ;- Book."
Now was Trotty's time. He would make up for all past
defeats. He would conquer -l..i:i -: before the second
cousin's eyes. He knew how to spell Book just as well as you
or I do. Mamma looked over encouragingly. The children
were still. The second cousin bent his head with his hand
behind his ear to listen.
Trotty stepped out into the middle of the room ; put his
hands in his pockets; stood on tip-toe; lifted his chin
triumphantly in the air, and slowly and distinctly said:
" D-bubble o-k, Book !"
When Trotty found out what he had done, he cried. He
could not help it; ho sat down and cried.
It 's all vat old coughing cousin," he insisted. I 'm
never going' to play wiv you Nita Fair again as long as ever I
Just then something snapped from the second cousin's
fingers into Trotty's lap. and there were two new, shining five-
So Trotty dried his tears, and was comforted for his ex-
TROTTY GETS MARRIED. 85
TROTTY GETS MARRIED.
-'. ROTTY and Nat and Nita did not know
What to do. They had built General Grant
S -- out of the wood-pile, till they could n't tell
which was wood-pile and which was Gen-
,eral Grant. They had drawn maps of
SNorth America all over the saw-dust that
floored the back-yard, till Nita, insisting
o11 running the Alleghanies and the Mis-
sissippi River at an acute angle through the
I of Maine, so roused Nat's finer sense
S of geographical proprieties that he seized
New England in one hand and Alaska in
ihe other, and threw at her.
By the time that Nita had got through swallowing saw-
dust, Trotty and Nat had shut the cat into an old teakettle,
and were trying to pour her out of the spout; but the cat.
ran away, and Nita thought that playing at Hang Mrs. Sur-
ratt gave her a stiff neck, and Bears had lost their charm, and
Funerals were somewhat slow, and the Coffin Business was
dull, that day; so now the three little people sat and looked
86 THE TROTTY BOOK.
at each other. The world had come to a stand-still. Life
had about ceased to be desirable.
If you don't fink of sumfin to do pretty quick, I 'm going
into the house," said Trotty, in a misanthropic manner.
This hospitable remark set Nita's wits to work.
"I'll tell you! "
Let's you and I get married," suggested the young lady,
with charming frankness.
If there 'd been mud enough, I 'd like to made a mud
oven ; but 's long 's there is n't, I guess that '11 do," replied
the young gentleman, graciously.
And I '11 be minister," said Nat.
You must have a Bible," said Trotty. So Trotty ran
into the house for a Bible. Biddy was washing the kitchen
floor, and would not let him go over it, so gave him the cook-
book instead. Nat thought it would do just as well.
Now I must have a wedding-dress," said Nita. Trotty
ran back to Biddy for a wedding-dress.
It 's no time I has to be botherin' over the nonsense of
the likes of ye !" said Biddy, half laughing, half cross ; but
gave him a clean roller-cloth, a hair-pin, and a yellow calico
apron. Nita tied the apron on behind; it trailed on the
ground when she stood still, and flapped out like a sail when
she walked; it made her look like an orange with only half
the peel on. The roller-cloth she found convenient, because
she could get inside of it very much as the roller did. She
T]'IIT' NAR RI A ERV'TIZ C
TROTTY GETS MARRIED. 87
pinned it across her hair with the hair-pin, and there she had
her bridal veil; who could ask for a better ?
Trotty's preparations wer& confined to washing his face in
a clean little mud-puddle over by the fence, a pretty little
mud-puddle, so clear that he could see himself in it, and Nita
Nat blacked his shoes with a tooth-brush which he was apt
to carry in his pocket for the purpose.
"Now we 're ready," said Nita.
"I '11 get up on the hogshead," said Nat. So Nat climbed
up on the hogshead, which was turned bottom upwards against
Now you stand up and put the saw-horse between you,"
So Trotty and Nita stood up with the saw-horse between
them. Nat coughed, and opened the cook-book. After that
he coughed again.
You will, if you please, to join your right and left
Trotty and Nita joined hands across the saw-horse. They
did not join but two of their right and left hands," because
Trotty was digging wells in the saw-dust with a hatchet, and
Nita was eating an apple-core.
Nat began to read in a solemn voice: -
Take one dozen eggs and a half a pound of raisins, and
an ounce of citron, and two cups of n2ilk. Mr. Trotty, how
much do you love Mrs. Nita ? "