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NE\N -Y ORK.
UOEYIOHTI. 188L BY
FREDERICK A.STOK ES BROTHER.
SUccEs SORq s ro
WHITE, PTOKES &ALLEN.
MY MOST TRUE AND DEVOTED ADMIRER
FRIEND AND COMPANION
( Chp. )
DO I DEDICATE THESE FEW PACES
IN HOPES THAT IN YEARS TO COME *
WHEN READING, THEM OVER
HE WILL FULLY REALIZE WHAT A
HE MADE @IF (HllMSEiLP.
--- I ic
prn Chickens T enerali have two es bu there is a.
specat breed of the Sprin Chicken o found on n
Boarduni Houses tatL- Ls composed of nothing but LEps.
As to how Lonq a Spring Chicken Lives, that depends
on circumstances, although some persons say that Ri,
der Ha .ard's"She "was a sorL of a human Sprin Chick-
of Us f e5h
S- H IE THETAH.
,. ii the wilds of Baxter street Ls he Ch eta.h or CheaLer to be
i found in all his diabolcal Feroctu .There he utdl stand for
hours at theentrance of his den,awaiLtLn an opportaunLty to
sprLng upon some innocent and unsu-specding country di.Lde,
whom he does drag wi-thLn hLs horrLble LaLr, where he tor-
tures hi, victLm Lnto buLLnq a Four doLLar blue su.t."All
wooL,so heLLup me Isaac.
She Goat is to be Found in Jersey Cty, Harlem,and. other
foreign countries. This an[maL is a great climber, in Fact it
originalbj came From a distant clime. The Goat is not a. em-
perance quadruped for I have known many of them to have
a"horn"w hen only a year old.,and they arealways making
"Si.ns"for bock beer. The chief Food oFC-oats consists of
Circus posCers and'"termater "canss. The Coat Ls inclined
to be rather skeptical, For when ou. try, to impart any in-
Formation to it, it will enerally say "Bah!"
he above picture of an EaOle is, I am. sorrq to saqa uery
lmpoor one,ouwinq to the fact that the artist had to drau it from
memory, he once haviinq seen one when he was a little boq. Ea-
ltes are exceedingly rare though I believe Wm.K.Vanderbdt has
one or tivo fine specimens. They sau tlat an Eagle has no brains
but when you get one it can be read'q changed and made t show
a large amount of cents.An Eagle is adwai-s on his mettle and.
when you have one in your possession be sure and treat t weLL
(and qour friends a/so). Nearly all the Eadles come from the
United States' Treasuru where they Qjwe the persons emplotled there
a mint of trouble. The old Romans used to swear by the Ea'le The
Ea-gle makes a great number of men of the present rday suear, be-
ca.use theu h'ai nt o it.
A LITTLE BARE -
ou.mjust bear in mind that this Bare is considered a
dhlt respectable Bare,andt that it carr be found in the
best society ,where it should Forbear to be so bare. It is a
most saving creature and waists but Little. It is extremely
Fond of amusement, 'oOng to BalLs,Theatres, Operas andto
aLL places where it can be Looked at. Some people may ob-
ject to the above picture on, account of its betnd a Low cut.
Iids are curious little creatures. There is the dressed
O kid and the undressed. Kids take great pleasure in
eating pins and playlin in the mud. Sorfe kids are white
and some are black .The white Kids can become black bu
falling int the coal scuttle.Though a kid is not a sheep it
is often"lammed"by its mother. It is a strange Fact that
other people's kids are a"bla.med "siqht hotnelier than your
own. AFter deep and careful study, with a vast amount of
experience (I have a number of kidlettes myself) I have come
to the conclusion that the worst of all lids, is the tough Klo
The toufh Kid always thinks he knows more than theold man',
wilu sass"his Mar, shoke segar butts, put pins in your chair
tease his sister, kick the cats, and throw stones at the new-
THE PuSSY CAT -
ats are natives of the Back-yard,where they Love to
R roam and"holler"' Ln fact, to make"Rome howu The
people of the district where the Pussy Cat abounds wage fear-
ful war against these dumb(?creatures, usinq the deadly soda-uater
bottle and the all-powerful boot as weapons of destruction. Accord-
tng to the cook, the Pussy Cat feeds on supar, beeFsleak,tea,
Coffee,soap, egs, flour, ctothes-lLnes, Jam, ta.cs,tles of mutton,
toueLs, matches and broken dishes. The Cat has a fine voice
and delights to stn In the GLoamind "
:onkeys can be found at Newport ,Saratoa. Tuxedo
IN Park, and the Hoffman House. To study thd Monkey
fully you need onlq take a stroll on Fifth Avenue an&y afternoon in
the Spri.nr or Fa.t. Occa.siortatl you uilt come across a Monkeu
that is quite noisy, but (eneratll9 pea.kind they are uer subdue
The Monkeu is a great imitator, andis always trying tY o a the En
tshk. You often see an Italian wuath a Monkey on a string. The Mon-
keus the Italians don't have the .irLs keep ona string .The Monkeus of
the forest have lond tails. The Monkeus or our cities have no tails,
though manr a ta'e could be told of them. In ton shops the Mon-
keu ts sold. on a stick. In cane stores the city Monkeu is ofte sold
on his stick, by paqyin ten dollars more than it is uorth.
THE CLOTHES HORSE
he Clothes Horse Is widely spread over the Light House-
keeping Country where it wuanders in all its native beauty
through the territory of the kitchen .The Clothes Horse has a
curious habit of putting on different" articles of wearing apparel,
and then getting as near to a fire as possible. Often you. will see
it with noth.inj on but a pair of socks, though it is very fond of
dressing up in Mother Hubbards, towels, shirts and other Light
and aru cost umes. There are several varieties of the Horse, the
Horse ar, Hospdta, Hoarse Voice, H'ostrch (Entlish, you knouand
Horse Chestnut. the latter is much, prized by Minstrel Men.There
is another kind called Mare. Sometimes fhe Mayor is a big don-
lor manq, mango years, have men been strnvin to putdown
the Swalows and they jeneratl succeed if they have ie
cash. There is an old saying that "one swallow does not make
a summer," but-I have seen three or four makea"Fall".
Some Swallows are renarkably"strongand. often ableto
take a man right off his L.es. S wallows can beeasly rais-
ed. by hand. Some SwalLows are very mild while others
have a qreat deal of"spirits.: When you wish.to obtain a
Swallouw all that you have to do is to Look at Lhe soda
water clerk and. wink.
ats are most attractLve animals. I have seen thousands
of people qo to see a Base Ba-ll Bat. I beleive they are
used for the purpose of transporting persons, for you often hear
of a gentleman Qoino off on a "Bat: The"gent"who d oes on a
"Bat always takes a"ball' A Bat Ls essentiaLLy a thin of the
night. Some qrea.t man(myself,l think)once saLd that if Bat
ot .nto your hair, you wuou(d never be able to Oet it out a.ain.
A bald headed man who at one time was traveltinq through
Philadephia had a Bat Oet wno his hair The shock was so se-
vere to his nerves that twenty years afterwards he died from
the effects of falling out a Fifteen story window
e~ nakes are Found in aLL Large cities, mostly where
\Ithere is littLe water. They are very Fond oFconcealin6
hemseLves in ouL-bF-the-way places, such as boots, bottles,
etc. The Snake differs reatly tn size, according to thequal.
ity of your whiske y. Te Snake can eneralLy be seer on
Sunday morning s, at about eleven o'clock .The Snake
isextremelu partLa. toured paLnt", and iL you ha.(e been
u.st.n any te niqht before, you. are pretty sure to have Lots
oFern around the next day.
S his sweet creature (I am clad to say) s to be Found all
over the world.Some of these Dears are considered- to
be quite dangerous, for they have a habitof attacking the
heart, which at once renders their victims perfect elpeess.
Their means of subsistence vary accordirl to.the seasons
of the ear.In summer they Feed on- ice-cream and soda-
uater while in winter you. give them Fried oysters and the
alre tickets,after which the Dears generatty marry the
ic er is very dangerous and_ should not be meddled with
Il you. do you.a.re apW to get badiiL biten.Thou.sand.sof
men cl t iLh .htLn the TLger, "as they consider It qreat
jaine.The color of the Tiger Ls"red. and black' When yoct
caLL and. see the Tiger you. must atwayqs show your ca.rd.
The Ttier resembles a. Highwa. Robber, because when you
do see it t wUiL compeL you. to throw up your hands a nd.
demand- your money or your Life. SometLmes it gets both.
TH E FLLY
hks saq and Festive cuss can Generally be Found ,n the
bU er. The FLt is.not considered a dangerous beast,.t-
thoulh I once saw a large and unFeelinj Fly drive a strong,
SLeepy man Co suicide. The FLy condrecates in the reatk
QuanCtLdes n places of Divine Worship where you are not
g he Cow Ls a uery LLsefuL anirmaL ;itives nice Fresh
H Isw;ll milk. Some Cows have iron ta ls; if Lt- ere not for
the Cow with the iron tail, a great many milkmen woouldstarve
The young of a Cow Ls called a Calf The Calf gives condens-
ed milk.The COLU is not of a LtterarL turn of mind, For anq -
thing red (read) to a Cow ts displeasing. If any one calls a
Cow an Ox iLt Ls a BuLL
-I U <' Ir
o where you wuill you arecertain to meet the Donkel
The Donkeu is exceedinQ i tgliquisitive but of Littte ul-
tellttence, and.Uhough not a FerocLous animal, still it miht
be called a beast of brau .There are several kinds of Donkey:
the Buzz Saw, Kerosen Not- Loaded and PerpetuaL Motion
Also a numberof other species of lesser note. The Donkej is
an object -onable bru(e,for he ts always"kickin "' The Donkey is
sure to be an Ass
'*illi jn rf lflll 11!
^. he Beaver is rapidly becoming extinct, but thereis
H ,a breed- that has spftung into existence of late years
which resembles the Beaver somewhat in appearanceand
which has erroneously been caLLed bu that nrne,and though
amemberof the'Dicer family, is certainly not a Beaver. Attu.
C-en. Brewster possesses a very fine specimen of Beaver.Bea.
vers, and in fact all of the"Dicer "tribe are exceedindlu fond
of bricks. Thus originated the expression having a brtck in
he Goose is large and heavy and has a constitution
oF iron The Goose Ls an ardent lover and Ls ever pres-
snits suit When it meets with any difficult Lt becomes
quite heated in tryin" to smooth it over. The GCose is an in
habitant of the Tailor Shops, thou h you may find a some-
what smaller variety, known as the Flat-Iron,in nearly ev-
ery househoLd on the face of the GLobe. The Fiat-Iron .is
much usect by Funny writers as the means oF procLucin
Laughter, by being made the weapon with which to destroy
hen-pecked husbands and mothers- in-Law. The tailor things
a.'reat deal of the Goose and always glves it a Larm recep
steers area Lazy set, or they prefer stay nd in their
eds's" The Oyster s very 'unfortunate For Lt is
a.waus gettiLn into hot water and raising a"stewTheu
Aenerl uo to tether i n numbers of half a.dozen:thoui
at Cone stand~ ou will find it alone, unless uou. order
six stew u, which onlu mitLionaires and comic artists carn
afford to do. The Oyster is a gentle little thing and hates
to see strife, and many a time a Full and happy husband,on
returning home late at night from the CLubhas soothed.
his anxious wife and the hard broom-stick with aFry ina
c j ^ .
L here are Four kinds of Dog ; the Big Dog, Little Dog,Yal-
ler Do, and Puppy; the Puppy wears white collars uith col
oe shirts, and smokes cigarettes. The Dog is an affectionatean
imal and will"'attach"itsetf to almost any one. The Dog feedson
tramps and. choice uictuals hooked from the dinirL ta.bLe.When
a Docgets mrad. .it bites people.The people who are bitten also et
mad.T'Te say that if you look an angry Dog straight in the eye
it will not molest you, but I found the best thing to do under
such cLrcumstances is to turn in the opposire direction and
run like the"dooce"
TH-oE E G
he Hog Ls a natLve of all cv'LLLied() countries.The
HHoq Ls a great traveLer; yotu wuill be sure to see him on
railroad cars steamboats,and alt other pubLtc. conveqa.nces,
also Ln restaurants and boarding houses. A"wel dressed Hog
is the worst kind of a Ho .The Hog Ls very' fresh"but- is often
Cured"an d. ha.s hisW bacon cooked'for him .ThLs beast smokes
bad sears and eats with his knife .The Hog is a"dirt'yan-
imal and deneralLy wants the"ea.rthi
I here are several species of theGCrowler, the most popular
Libemn the Little Broun JuA Growler. They inhabit enement
houses ani also larde factories .mee Growler is rea.dit4 domesti-
cated and is used forum orkinq"purposes. Strange to sa4 the
G-rowLer seems to be the most active during the hottest season
of the year, for then it may be seen"rushing about the streets of big
cities, foaming at the mouth and diving in and out of doorwas.The
Growler is a greatt climber, I having known one to run upa bitl
with the greatest ease: if not patd it is aLwags L'aidated
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