Citation
The Florida alligator

Material Information

Title:
The Florida alligator
Alternate title:
Summer school news
Alternate title:
University of Florida summer gator
Alternate title:
Summer gator
Alternate Title:
Daily bulletin
Alternate Title:
Orange and blue daily bulletin
Alternate Title:
Orange and blue bulletin
Alternate Title:
Page of record
Place of Publication:
Gainesville Fla
Publisher:
the students of the University of Florida
Publication Date:
Frequency:
Daily except Saturday and Sunday (Sept.-May); semiweekly (June-Aug.)[<1964>-1973]
Weekly[ FORMER 1912-]
Weekly (semiweekly June-Aug.)[ FORMER <1915-1917>]
Biweekly (weekly June-Aug.)[ FORMER <1918>]
Weekly[ FORMER <1919-1924>]
Weekly (daily except Sunday and Monday June-Aug.)[ FORMER <1928>]
Semiweekly[ FORMER <1962>]
Weekly[ FORMER <1963>]
daily
normalized irregular
Language:
English
Physical Description:
v. : ; 32-59 cm.

Subjects

Subjects / Keywords:
Newspapers -- Gainesville (Fla.) ( lcsh )
Newspapers -- Alachua County (Fla.) ( lcsh )
Genre:
newspaper ( marcgt )
newspaper ( sobekcm )
Spatial Coverage:
United States -- Florida -- Alachua -- Gainesville
Coordinates:
29.665245 x -82.336097

Notes

Dates or Sequential Designation:
Vol. 1, no. 1 (Sept. 24, 1912)-v. 65, no. 74 (Jan. 31, 1973).
General Note:
Summer issues also called: Summer school ed., <1915>-1920 and again in 1923; summer issues also called: Summer ed., <1921>.
General Note:
Has occasional supplements.
Funding:
Funded by Van Dyke Endowment for the Libraries in support of teaching, research, acquisitions, preservation and programs in the Libraries

Record Information

Source Institution:
University of Florida
Holding Location:
University of Florida
Rights Management:
Copyright The Independent Florida Alligator. Permission granted to University of Florida to digitize and display this item for non-profit research and educational purposes. Any reuse of this item in excess of fair use or other copyright exemptions requires permission of the copyright holder.
Resource Identifier:
000972808 ( ALEPH )
01410246 ( OCLC )
AEU8328 ( NOTIS )
sn 96027439 ( LCCN )

Related Items

Preceded by:
Orange and blue
Succeeded by:
Independent Florida alligator

Full Text
WHETHER
High Today 98
Low Tonight 13
Chance of Snow

Vol. 60, No. 106

WHITE HOUSE APPROVAL EXPECTED
" J>
Hershey Urges End To Draft

:> ;' ' t JjfiL Jrr .#
aP 1 I ¥
' ***.

For the first time in newspaper history action
photos of a rape attempt have been recorded
by a Pornogator lensman. The above pictures
graphically portray one of the most horri horrifying
fying horrifying events in campus history in which three
unidentified coeds attacked fraternity man

Extensive Examination Files
Found In IFC Headquarters

By HARMLESS ALTER
Pornogator News Editor
A complete file system, for all
UF courses including those on the
graduate level, is being kept at
Internal Fun Council (IFC) head headquarters,
quarters, headquarters, the Pornogator is able
to reveal after three months of
investigation.
The files, which contain all
final examinations given here,
most mid-terms, complete term
papers, quizes and home-work
assignments, were originally
located throughout campus at
each of the UFs 26 fraternities.
After the Pornogator published
an editorial on the file system
and cheating last December the
files were moved to IFC head headquarters.
quarters. headquarters.
IFC President Jamie Dezaney,
in an interview Sunday, denied the
existence of files.
You know as well as I do
that this is a fiction, a fabri fabrication.
cation. fabrication. The UF Fun man is de dedicated
dicated dedicated to serving public and
the university as much as pos possible.
sible. possible. It is contrary to our be beliefs
liefs beliefs to maintain any sort of files
what-so-ever.
However, Advisor to Fun-men
Hairy Scarem, while not conced conceding
ing conceding the existence of flies, said

The
Florida Pomogator

* '''
iHP ******** mHmmm

. Jj?*' %-'*

STUDENT FIGHTS OFF ATTACKERS

the independents have them so
I guess Fun men may have them
too. My boys may not be as smart
as the independents/ Scarem
SjgJ
The Files
i t * * f

THE SOUTHS WORST COLLEGE DAILY

University of Florida, Gainesville

Contorchians To Be Tried
For 'Newspaper Incident

Flo Contorchians vigilantly
awaits his trial before the Facul Faculty
ty Faculty Disciplinary Com mitte for the
now infamous Incident at the
Newspaper Office.
It began three days ago when
Flo entered the office of the
Florida Pornogator, au naturel.
Well, this wasnt anything un unusual,
usual, unusual, he went to his desk, smiled,
and looked at his fellow worker.
Hello, fellow workers, he
said.
His fellow workers looked
back. And front. Hey hand handsome,
some, handsome, they retorted.
And all was pleasant.
But Flo made a mistake. He
41dnt realize that at that moment

Spike Cuddleston. Cuddleston, who is noted
for his innocent demur, was attacked while
walking across a field near Browlard Hall.
When asked to comment on the terrible ex experience
perience experience Cuddleston said, when rape is
inevitable relax and enjoy it.

continued, but they are lear learning.*
ning.* learning.*
Meanwhile Honor Court Chan Chancellor
cellor Chancellor Cheat Sinober, speaking
from his padded chambers, said
the Honor Court would launch a
complete and secret investigation
into files immediately.
Sinober is a Fun man.
Student Body President Snide
Failer, a Signrfi Zoo, said he

'
* sV m
* v ~ '*+ iLtf3K?33IS^SiK
m

was outraged with news that files
are existent.
This comes as a surprise
to me," the former IFC presi president
dent president said. Naturally I know knownothing
nothing knownothing about it.
Nevertheless, the Pornogator
investigation reveals that UF Fun
houses have had files for years.
Recently, because of Pornogator
(SEE CHEATING, PAGE 3)

Editor Speed Hawk was inter interviewing
viewing interviewing Dean of Women Betyu
Costly about the now infamous
Incident at one of the Resident
Halls.
The dean looked at Flo and
said Mercy* as if she had seen
something she had never seen
before, and promptly fainted.
Flo looked at the dean and said
Mercy as if he had seen some something
thing something he never wanted to see be before,
fore, before, and he saw that he was
naked, and he was ashamed.
Dean Costly recovered,
shocked, astonished, and wailed
to Flo, Why do you do these
(SEE CONTORCHIANS, PAGE 2)

INSNIDE
Gramling Outlines
Accent 6B Program
See Page 25

Monday April 1 1968

WASHINGTON (API) Selec Selective
tive Selective Service Director Lewis B.
Hershey has recommended to
President Johnson that Ameri America's
ca's America's peacetime draft be discon discontinued
tinued discontinued for the first time since
the Korean War.
President Johnson indicated on
National Television Sunday he
would act favorably on the pro proposal,
posal, proposal, but other national leaders
expressed opinions from wild ju jubilation
bilation jubilation to dire disapproval.
Johnson himself last week in
Nebraska hinted broadly that im important
portant important changes in the draft might
be forthcoming, where he spoke
to the Mid-western Hog Growers'
Convention.
My friends, I have become
more and more concerned, in
these difficult times, about our
American boys going halfway a around
round around the world to die in an Asian
war," Johnson exclaimed with
tears streaming down his Lin Lincolnesque
colnesque Lincolnesque face.
It has become more and more
apparent to me," Johnson thump thumped
ed thumped his chest, that the draft as
it now exists is an Instrument
for the rich to send the poor
to war."
If I am re-elected, I pledge
myself to end the inequities of
our draft system," Johnson pro promised.
mised. promised.
At the time, Johnson-watchers
were divided in their interpre interpretations
tations interpretations of the Presidents re remarks.
marks. remarks.
Officials at the Pentagon in insisted
sisted insisted Johnson meant that draft
inequities would be ended by
drafting every eligible man.
As it stands now," one
general said, alota prissy stu students,
dents, students, teachers, and other
chickens are getting off, while
the colored hoods and sons of
Republican candidates are doing
the fighting."
Liberal groups heralded John Johnson's
son's Johnson's remarks as the beginning
of new liberal policies.
Said one head of a liberal
group, We hear Johnson's ad advisors
visors advisors are considering a plan to
make Vietnam a state and to let
the Committee on Un-American
Activities handle the Viet Cong.",
(SEE HERSHEY" PAGE 2)
Why is this man smil smiling?
ing? smiling? See? story page 5.



Page 2

!, The Florida Pornogator, Monday, April 1, 1968

950 PARTICIPATE
Five Coeds Arrested
In MensDormaid

By KATHIE KRIME
Pomogator Corruption Editor
Five UF coeds were arrested
Saturday night and may face dis disciplinary
ciplinary disciplinary action for/their part
in a Jockey raid against Burphree
Area shortly before curfew.
Approximately 950 on-campus
women, including residents of the
womens residence halls on tele television
vision television road, took part in the
raid, which was halted before
the leaders achieved their goal
of a jock from every room.
Members of the French For Foreign
eign Foreign Legion, substituting for va vacationing
cationing vacationing Kampus Keystone Kops,
arrived on the scene shortly after
screaming coeds rammed their
way onto the floors of Burphree
Hall, stomping several roaches
to death in the process.
Legionnaires ordered the girls
out of the halls and attempted
to prevent the male residents
from tossing jock straps out of
the windows.
The mob then moved on to a
dormitory housing scholarship
athletes and left after getting
its demand of jock straps, chin
straps, and all the tape used
to hold a football team together
during a rugged season.

Contorchians

f FROM PAGE ONI
things to me? Why do you want
to make mincemeat out of me? Is
that all lam to you? Mincemeat?
"No, replied Joe, You are
a pork chop.
At which point Dean Costly
turned all sorts of colors and
called the Keystone Kops to take
Flo to jail, where he sits now.
Contorchians feels he has been
wronged.
There is nothing in the code

QUIK-SAVE
CAROLYN PLAZA
Ij[WP ,00'"
'L- 95< VALUE
FAMILY SIZE
YOU SAVE 38t
SPECIAL 57i
PRICE GOOD THRU 4/3/68
THE FLORIDA ALLIGATOR is the official''student newspaper of the University of Florida
and is published five tiroes weekly except during June, July and August when it Is published
semi-weekly, and during student holidays and exam periods. Editorials represent only the
official opinions of their authors. Address correspondence to the Florida Alligator. Reitz
Union Building, University of Florida, Gainesville, Florida, 32601. The Alligator is entered
as second class matter at the United States Post Office at Gainesville, Florida, 32601.
Subscription rate is $14.00 per year or $4.00 per quarter.
The Florida Alligator reserves the right to regulate the typographical tone of all adver advertisements
tisements advertisements and to revise or turn away copy which it considers objectionable.
The Florida Alligator will not consider adjustments of payment for any advertisement
involving typographical errors or erroneous insertion unless notice is given to the Adver Advertising
tising Advertising Manager within (1) one day after advertisement appears. The Florida Alligator will
not be responsible for more than one incorrect insertion of an advertisement scheduled
to run several times. Notices for correction must be given before next Insertion.

One girl, however, passed up
the straps and tape in favor
of a better prize seven foot football
ball football players, one for each day
of the week.
Five vocal leaders were
promptly arrested by the Leg Legionnaires
ionnaires Legionnaires after they led a charge
into still another hall, through an
unlocked side door.
Packed into the Legionnaries
squad cars, the five girls rode
down to the police station sing singing
ing singing Even the Bad Times Are
Good and waving their prized
jock straps out the windows.
Unofficial reports from the
station said that a mass orgy
developed, with the attention attentionstarved
starved attentionstarved coeds and the Legion Legionnaires
naires Legionnaires who wanted to forget their
jilted love back home all par participating.
ticipating. participating.
The action multiplied still
more when the friends of the
arrested girls conducted a jockey
raid on the police station.
Arrested on a charge of dis disorderly
orderly disorderly conduct were Marty
Cockroach, 2UC, Donna Bagle,
4ED; Janis Biwindy, 2UC; Janie
Wanmore, 4AS; and Leslie Horny,
3 EG.
The girls were also charged

of student conduct which says
a man cant walk around naked.
All it says is that I cannot show
conduct not befitting a Florida
student. Well, thinking about what
I showed in the Pornogator office,
It doesnt seem to me to be
conduct unbefitting a Florida stu student.
dent. student.
Dean Costlys only comment
was lack of communication.
The trial will be held during
the Beach Boys concert. It will
be an open trial.

with poaching, a charge arising
out of the deaths of the roaches
trod under foot in Burphree.
The count of poaching was
added after the arresting officers
noted that the area had been de declared
clared declared a Federal Game Reserve
for Roaches and they could find
no other charge to place.
Dean of Women Betyu Costly
said Sunday that her office is
keeping a close eye on the af affair
fair affair and that the charged coeds
may also be called before the
Student Conduct Committee for
conduct unbecoming a UF coed.
Hers hey
f FROM PA6t OHE
With announcement of Her Hersheys
sheys Hersheys proposal, any doubt about
the administrations plans con concerning
cerning concerning the draft dissipated.
Basically Hershey called for
the abolishment of the selective
service system, reducing UjS.
armed forces to 100,000 men, and
hiring Moshe Dayan and a bri brigade
gade brigade of Israelis to fight in Viet Vietnam.
nam. Vietnam.
We tried to get John Wayne
and the dirty dozen with a com commando
mando commando team of Bonnie and Clyde
but they were on tour in Viet Vietnam,
nam, Vietnam, Hershey said. SoHava
Nagila.

| ROBBIES I
For The Best In Steak
I Q
[COLOR TV & BILLIARDS]
11718 W. University Ave.l
I *Qn The Gold Coast 1 I

*DO-lt-Yourself
HT* days to RUN
To order classifieds, use the as?
H form below. Mail it with remit- (consecutive)
Bes tance to: Alligator Classifieds, D 1 da y
I Room 330 Reitz Union, Gaines- O 2 days zlg
ville, Florida 32601. 0 3 days (* 10% discount)
0 4 days (*lO% discount)
Orders must be RECEIVED 0 5 days and over gj
3 days prior to publication. (*20% discount) gj
DO NOT ORDER BY PHONE 11
CLASSIFICATION unt h words ml n6 a an & 1
the. Addresses and phone numbers
for sale count as one word. Minimum charge Sp
for rent is s l>o for 20 words. For each Sg
wanted additional word add 3?. Multiply erf
help wanted the total by number of the ad fg
q autos ls to run Subtract the discount
personal 0* applicable) and enclose a check gj
lost-found for the remainder. For example, ||
services a 32_word ad to run 4 days costs Sg}
U $4.90 ($5.44 less 54?).
WORDING fH
|i STUDENT PHONE
1 ADDRESS |j
|| CITY STATE .ZIP ji
fsgb morie y cannot be refunded if ad is cancelleddt

President Poses Answer
To Transportation Problems

By ZANY GHOUL
Pomogator Staff Writer
Student Body President Snide
Failer said Sunday that, con contrary
trary contrary to popular belief, he will
carry out at least one promise
of his campaign, that is, install
electric trains on campus.
My God, 1 he said in a tizzy,
this here transportation pro problem
blem problem has got to be stopped. Me
and my constituents are damn
tired of running around all over
creation to find a place to park
our pogo sticks.
Backward party leader Swift
Magellan immediately attacked
Failers proposal as ridicu ridiculous.
lous. ridiculous.
Hes just trying to take the
students for a ride, Magellan
said.

Failer and his vice president,
Grunch Badrich, told the Porn Pornogator
ogator Pornogator more than a month ago
they planned to install little elec electric
tric electric trains to run from such
central places as Fume Hall,
Sin City, and the Sigma-Zoo house
to classrooms on campus.
Pm all excited about this,
said Badrich. Just imagine what
we can do! Not only can we
charge for tickets, we can sell
popcorn, Accent tickets, and final
exams en route. And this means
we can appoint another cabinet
member!
Failer cautioned that there will
be no preferential seating on the
trains. However, he said anyone
carrying (A)pples, (T)omatoesor
(o)ther fruit will be thrown off
the train.



Tenure-Seeking Prof Named
Advisor To UF Birch Society

By RAUL SPICKMAN
Pornogator Staff Writer
Tenure-seeking UF Professor
Marshall Bones has been appoint appointed
ed appointed advisor to the newly-formed
UF John Birch Society chapter,
president Fred Ruleman an announced
nounced announced Sunday.
In an unprepared statement,
Ruleman said Bones was award awarded
ed awarded the coveted post because of

his outstanding record as chair chairman
man chairman of the UF Kant Katch Kon Kontract
tract Kontract (KKK) Committee.
Bones said he was elated
with the appointment.
I always wanted to be a part
of such outstanding and clean stu student
dent student group, he said.
Bones said the groups first
activity under his advisorship

Movie Rating
THE HAPPIEST PAUPER, follows Disneys typical tradition its
the story of a rich man (played by Pinochoccio) who becomes
richer as his wife (played by Tinkerbelle) becomes bitchier. His
unhappy situation forces him to commit suicide with a magic wand
he turns himself into a homosexual, and thing becomes a real
fairy tale. Real, vibrant, a story so shocking that it can only be
told today. Jack and Jill Magazine.
GUESS WHOS COMING TO LUNCH is the story of a Negro man
and white woman who want to get married their parents are
colorblind so they get permission, get married, and have three
children: one white, one black, and one Khaki.
IN HOT BLOOD is a story of lust, sex, passion, perversion, sin
and degeneracy. Recommended for children only. Anyone over 18
must be accompanied by a juvenile.
THE GATHERER is the story of an ornithologist he collects
birds and mounts them. Educational, instructive a must for all
bird morticians. said Newsbeak magzine.
Cheating Files

£ FROM mi ONE "j
Investigations ana Decause of the
Increasing volume of files, the
IFC voted in special secret ses session
sion session to centralize files.
Currently vast amounts of IFC
file information, because of their
great bulk, are being micro microfilmed.
filmed. microfilmed.
Under the new IFC enforced
system, persons wishing to use
the IFC files, who must of course
be fun men, must receive a pass
directly from DeZaney which is
countersigned by the individual
fun presidents and house
mothers.
One house mother, Miss Irene
F. Chancey, told the Porno gator
Fll do most anything for my
boys. I want them to be happy,
to enjoy life, to live while they
can."
Miss Chancey, a pert 29-year 29-yearold
old 29-yearold blonde, said she has enjoyed
working with Fun men ever since
she first visited a local Fun house
two years ago as an entertainer.
Another house-mother, Goodie
F. Treat, said she knows nothing
about the w* system.
CATTLE #
BUSTLERS ft
j |
S %U. CHOPPED SWIM 8
N BAKE! POTATO OR Ft FIB K
Q TOSSED ORfER WM A
Q SAUD, CHOICE fl] C X
X 01 DRESSING A M ft
S WESTOM mu # g X
| Optll AJHTiII9PJC |
5 ORLANDO I*o* N. Mills H
{ TITUSVILLE US I H
' W. Umv.

would be to stage a stand-out a against
gainst against on-campus recruiting by
the Mothers Pies Corporation
of America, manufacturer of the
potentially dangerous
thers Apple Pies Exclusive (MA
PE).
They (Mothers Pies Cor Corporation)
poration) Corporation) continue to manufacture
the criminal MAPE despite the
well-known fact that it is used

Student Who Missed Drill
To Be Executed Today

By FAIRY GOLDSURGE
Pornogator Staff Writer
l
It took a panel of seven ROTC
cadets and five Regents mem members
bers members 10 minutes to find Monty
Fromp guilty of ROTC evasion.
He was sentenced to be exe executed

I spend most of my time in
my room with the boys, she
said.
<< Pornogator sources have re revealed
vealed revealed that in addition to the
illegal file system the IFC has
also established a llason with
officials in the Registrars of office.
fice. office.
[ms]
GLASS
Fast attention to insurance
claims for cars, trucks and
FREE ESTIMATES
323 N.W. 6tn ST.
376-2558
East Side ACL Depot

UNIVERSITY
CHEVROLET
"The Students Friend
10% DISCOUNT
ON YOUR ENTIRE REPAIR BILL
i r-t
(EXCEPT BODY SHOP REPAIRS)
FREE Estimates on Any Repairs
Just Show Your ID Card To Our Service Manager
UNIVERSITY CHEVROLET
1515 N. Main Si. Phone 376-7581

in such un-demagogueic activi activities
ties activities as election campaigning,
Bones said.
Expanding on Bones state statement,
ment, statement, Ruleman said the group
would carry pictures of children
whose faces were distorted bv
creamy MAPE around their ten tender
der tender lips.
He re-stated the croups plead

cuted executed by a firing squad today.
One panel member said that the
droning of the air-raid sirens
would drown out the sound of
Ready, aim, fire.
During his trial, Monty ex explained
plained explained to the court that he miss missed
ed missed drill because he was deeply
upset over the loss of his room roommate
mate roommate who he hadnt seen since
bayonett practice.
According to General Over D.
Hills, this was the first planned
execution of a ROTC cadet who
missed more than one drill.
It is unfortunate that such
measures have to be taken, but in
this day of modern war, there
is no room for the man who
skips ROTC practice, he said.

9 *
i
j College Relations Director
j C/o Sheraton-Park Hotel, Washington, D.C. 20008
; Please send me a free Sheraton Student I.D. Card:
Name: j
i Address: J
Were holding
the cards.
Get one. Rooms are now up to 20% off with a
Sheraton Student I.D. How much depends on
where and when you stay.
And the Student I.D. card is free to begin with.
Send in the coupon. It's a good deal. And at a
good place.
Sheraton Hotels & Motor Inns (Sj
155 Hotels and Motor Inns in major cities. Xr

that absolutely NO press cover coverage
age coverage be given to the March 33-
34-35 stand-out.
Our group does not want
publicity, he said. We are
merely trying to save the chil children
dren children of America and not seeking
recognition from anyone.
As usual, Ruleman added,
we request that no bearded in individuals
dividuals individuals participate in this
stand-out. j ..
Tittle tiny hairs all over a
students* face are not conducive
to the sacred goals of this group.*
he said.
Ruleman, a three-year campus
ROTC officer, said all partici participants
pants participants would be required to bathe
immediately prior to the stand standout.
out. standout.
He added coat and ties would
be required as usual.
The demonstrators will attend
church together following each
stand-out.

Monday, April 1, 1968, The Florida Pornogator, 1

HERTS
WHERE
YOU SAVE
'50%
REBEL DISCOUNT
1227 W. UNIVERSITY
PRICES GOOD
TODAY AND
TOMORROW
CLAIROL I
CREME I
TONER I
$1.60 7 I
rri
I RAYETTE I
I HAIR SPRAY I
I 'mo 794 I
PLASTIC X
POKER OR
KINOCHLE
PLAYING
CARDS
h 394
a 4
REDUCE WITH I
AYDS I
CANDY I
$2.29 J
a 4
TAN QUICK
WITH
Q.T.
Reg.
$2.55
ksl.s9J
fla
OUANIIY RIGHTS
RESERVED
REBEL
DISCOUNT

Page 3



Page 4

, The Florida Pornogator, Monday, April 1, 1968

Prexy Names
Members
Os Cabinet
Student Body President Snide
Failer has fulfilled his campaign
promises by naming a member
of the opposing party to a cabinet
position.
Horace Wilcox, BPE, was
named chairman of the newly
formed committee for Licking
Stamps for Student Government
Mail. The appointment brought
to 7,845 the number of positions
filled so far.
Leaders across the campus
have hailed the move as the
fulfillment of his campaign pro promise
mise promise to make non-partisan ap appointments.
pointments. appointments.
Even though this is the first
Backward Party member to be
named to his group of advisors,
Failer said that he wont be the
last, maybe.
Wilcox has never met Failer.
But I understand that he is
a great person, he said, I
read it in the Pornogator.

Controversial Editor
To Address Accent

By LOOSE ROTLEAN
Pornogator Staff Writer
Next years Accent should be
even better and more exciting
than this years, the Pornogator
learned Sunday.
Among the speakers will be
Willoughby Frieden, editor of
the controversial Lorsville Lark,
from Kansas. Friden, often hard
to get (there are no phones in
Lorsville) was one of the
prime catches of the Accent
com mittee.
Also to speak, will be Harry
Successful, president of Noogis
Industries, a company which
manufactures those little balls
we find in ball point pens. His
topic of discussion will be,How
little balls have affected my life.
It should prove to be a lecture
of enjoyment.
On the political scene, the
Committee has been able to get

Et LOG -^1
2 4 9 12 5 COUCHS I!
NBC CBS ABC NBC NET
7*oo Zane Grey Hogans Hero* Dragnet Its Academic Whats New
7*30 Monkees Gunsmoke Monkees \vHU2* * HNITH H fT~~ \
X. SOLID-STATE UbM! e 4
8:00 Rowan & Martin Gunsmoke WETJ PORTABLE STEREO
; 3O Lucille Ball Rat Patrol and Martin NET Journal featuring MICRO-TOUCH
_ ~~~ 2G TONE ARM OUR first time ever
9:00 Danny Thomas Andy Griffith Rat Patron Danny Thomas Viewpoint AT THIS PRICE
__ : ___ /?
9ork Truo Peyton Place _ 7 ~\
:30 T** Danny Thomas Richard Boone / \
10*00 I Spy Carol Burnett Big Valley I Spy Richard Boone Drop it! Slide it! Tilt it! Il|l V
.. It s impossible to accidentally
10:30 I Spy Carol Burnett Big Valley I Spy rum a fine record 1
Best Veer
11*00 News News News News Soiid-stat* r he DUET GASO-8L
W Precinnr^ te P 0 / tab,e ster eo with stereo Yet tO
WOVTF 2G to COrd Changer and Micro-Touch*
11:30 I Johnny Carson B odholmds Joey Bishop Johnny Carson uns Get the Best!
Os Broadway controls. Beige color.
FEARLESS FORECAST IP& 608 N MAIN
Richard Boone: Big Mitch lives in a dream world that begins
to collapse when his daughter announces her plans to marry. PH-376-7171
Big Mitch: Richard Boone. Yo Jr Zen th dealer since 1933

SANDSPURS
[ | / PftcfiWc9?\ 6WAT SCOTT, QtllKi, \
I \oboggle, when you i \ ( p oF? / j
A / 1 W HITmStIiOOLJM /

Frostbite Tips
SAN FRANCISCO (UPI)
Winter sports enthusiasts who
accidentally become frostbitten
should not rub snow on the
frostbite areas, advises the
California Medical Association.
The CMA says affected areas
should be covered with a warm
hand or woolen material,
placed in lukewarm water and
gently exercised.
The doctors say hot water
bottles or heat lamps should
never be used.

Jackson Quirdbelly, who was a
pageboy under the Wilson ad administration.
ministration. administration.
On the local scene, we have
the two candidates running for
the seat of the Board of Health
in Alachua county. It should be
a spirited debate.
And finally, the committee
tries to get at least one very
famous name to lecture, to draw
national attention to Accent.
Next year, the committee will
be proud to announce its main
speaker for the event, Derwood
Kirbv.

48 HOUR N WATCH REPAIR
Quality Work II
Factory Parts a [ I I J
Unconditional | \ LLLTLPft ifKinh
Guarantee V i
376-2615 103 W. Univ. Ave. & Gainesville Mall JEWELERS

Student Goes Berserk,
Steals Century Tower

By PEARLY ALLENORI
Pornogator Staff Writer
A UF student suddenly went
berserk Saturday night and stole
Century Tower and hid it at
the intersection of W. Univer University
sity University Ave. and 13th St., the Porn Pornogator
ogator Pornogator learned Sunday from the
Kampus Keystone Kops.
He just done and stolen the
dern thing, said Kampus Kop
Otis Junior Goader, Wesus Wesuspicioned
picioned Wesuspicioned he was the one what
done it and we just arrested
him, ya see, he said in a
thick redneck accent.
We was prepared for any
resistence, sos we had 40 os-
sifers armed with MACE, dogs
and shotguns surround his apart apartment
ment apartment and shout out that he better
come out or wed go in, Goad Goader
er Goader continued.
Funny thin, though. We stood
out there for a hour or two

hollerin in at him but he didnt
come out. Sos we begun blastin
the place with shotguns and we
shot a few rounds with the ba bazookas
zookas bazookas and then we sent the dogs
in they trained to kill on
sight but, lak I said, funny
thin, he werent there.
Goader admitted the Kampus
Kops made 25 false arrests be-

HILLEL PASSOVER SEDER
j s APRIL 12th, 13th
Friday & Saturday. 6:30 p o m.
Reservations Required
Lai I 372-2900
__ 16 N.W. 18th ST.
Got A Sick Corvair?
We specialize in Corvair service thats backed up by
30 yrs. experience with General Motors Corp.
Youll drive safer with our brake and tune-up service,
too. And let us put that air-conditioner in perfect order,
tio matter what make car you have.
Were the students friend, so stop in and save money.
ELRODS AUTO REPAIR
1031 So. Main Phone 376-7771

1/Nesi, Quirk', if you w/wnr seriv/ j
( THE CBUCBTIoN eNE, FORtofT THE r I
V-TfA/MiN* OfTHitS, 1 JUST K A \
uwwrsny. l

By FATS

fore the culprit walked into the
station and calmly gave him himself
self himself up.

GO GREEK



Sexual Freedom Stifled,
Vice President Accuses

By HAIRY ARMPITS
Pornogator Managing Editor
Vice President for Sexual Af Affairs
fairs Affairs Jester Male has accused
student members of the notorious
Student Board of Investigation
of arbitrary misuse of
authority in stifling the develop development
ment development of true sexual freedom.
The SBI, composed of high highbrow
brow highbrow student drop-outs, is repu reputed
ted reputed to be the unofficial guardian
of sexual morals on campus.
Male issued his charges in a
full-page advertisement in the
Pornogator. He called for the
students' resignation from life.
Male contended that the SBls
1 new Student Code of Morality
was a failure because it ignored
changing sexual morals.
Students should be allowed to
have all the sex they want, Male
noted. And without the indis indiscriminate
criminate indiscriminate misuse of authority
practiced by these antiquated
Puritans, who would have the uni university
versity university ignore its obligations of
training people to live in a free'
society.
It should be noted that Male
was the founder of the local
chapter of Sigma Epsilon Chi
(SEX), v
Male said the whole group was
'Worked Out
Did you know that two out of four
UF faculty members above the
age of 50 do it? Yes, two out
of four UF faculty member wives,
above the age of 50, say its true.

r y
"This country
can do better."
o
. - ; ? . . .
Rally: Florida Students
for Kennedy
b s
today
Plaza of the Americas.
. ....... ' U
1; ' *_i : ' ; . ... . ' C
"* ;, , : .
.. -. 'i %. & . - : .... ...
(Paid Political Advertisement)

guilty of suppression of sexual
freedom, but he singled out one
of its leaders, David Baron, 7SA,
as an example.
Baron is not the problem it itself,
self, itself, Male's ad read. But he

I Accuse
CAROLYN PLAZA BARBER SHOP
8 Barbers Shampoos
> s Free Parking Shaves
CTB Razor Cuts Massages
We Specialize In Scissor Work

is a manifestation of it.
Male added that procreation
among students would be facili facilitated
tated facilitated if nuts like Baron'* would
resign their useless cam campaigns.
paigns. campaigns.

Monday, April 1, 1968, The Florida Pornogator,

(
Uniform Dress Required
At UF In Fall Os 1968
Beginning September, 1968, every student will be required to
wear a uniform dress.
UF President:Justice :Mr. Stefen o*Boggle announced the change in
policy Saturday afternoon in a press conference.
I've been running around here shaking hands for six months
now, the president said, and now I find I've wasted a lot of hands
on kids who were not students. If every student wears a uniform,
I'll be able to tell them from non-students.
Ij.i.i.ii.iiim.i.i.iMi.i.i.l.i. 1.1.1.11
B SPECIAL NOTICE |
ft To all students and university personnel 5
| DISCOUNT l
/2> Off Our Low-Low Prices
5 Jfcgg FOOD TASTES MUCH BETTER AT
S CAFET^^^kr T |
5 111:30 AM 2:00 PM
MR 14:30 PM 8:00 PM
GAINESVILLE SHOPPING CENTER i
m (Just Four Minutes From Campus)
niiiiiiaiaiiaiHiaieiaiHiiiHiHiaiv'

Page 5

s




Page 6

, The Florida Pornogator, Monday, April 1, 1968

Florida Pomogator
\ySpFy 7We Truth Is What We Say It Is
Speed Hawk
e,r "i | | Editor
Harmless Alter Barrald Obscenity
q-n, Managing Editor Executive Editor I
DUL Hairy Armpits Snob Panecky
News Editor Sports Editor
The Florida Pornogators official stand on issues is expressed
in the columns below. Our unofficial stand can be found expressed
throughout the paper. All material in this issue reflects the opinion
of the editorial staff.

'Grass Grabbers

It has come to the at attention
tention attention of the Florida Por Pornogato;:
nogato;: Pornogato;: that marijuana
sales in Gainesvilles
ghetto have turned into
profiteering ventures by
some individuals without
regard for fair labor
practices.
Two men have set up a
monopoly on pot sales to
Negroes in a direct vio violation
lation violation of anti-trust legis legislation.
lation. legislation. The Pornogator
feels all citizens deserve
a fair shake.
Furthermore, joints are
being sold in the ghetto at
$1 each, while the Por Pornogator
nogator Pornogator staff and other stu students
dents students are only paying 18
to 25 cents a joint.
The Pornogator has
serious doubts if the Flor Florida
ida Florida Better Business Bureau
is living up to its commit commitments

Ping Pong Balls,
DRESS UP

Ping-pong balls should
be made to wear clothes.
They lead a very active
sex life and should be made
to cover up all their pri private
vate private parts.
What else is sex but up
and down and back and
forth? Who or what goes up
and cfown and back a.id ? o eth
more than a ping-pong ball?
Why should the relatively
non-sexual human beings
be made to cover up when
the over-sexed ping-pong
ball goes naked?

MESSAGE TO OUR READERS \o/

ments commitments and purpose. The
Bureau has done nothing
to force these pushers to
allow competition nor to
have them lower prices.
Could it be that the victims
are black?
The Pornogator thinks it
is time to act. Beginning
today, marijuana will goon
sale at the following cam campus
pus campus locations at a fair 25
cents per joint price: The
Reitz Union, in front of the
main library and in Tigert
Hall near the office of Stu Student
dent Student Financial Aid.
The Pornogator, by its
prompt action, hopes to
prove that even in the
mechanized society in
which we find ourselves to today,
day, today, it is still possible for
a newspaper to champion
the peoples cause.

Ping-pong is not done in
private like human sex, it is
done right out in the open.
Where young children can
watch and have their im impressional
pressional impressional bent.
Also, it should be pointed
out, ping-pong is a sadisti sadistical
cal sadistical sexual game. Whereas
human sex is an expression
of love, the first thing you
do in ping-pong is to hit it
with a paddle. Marquis de
Sade was an avid ping-pong
ball fan.

_,O MUCH BULL
Admits AII

MR. EDITOR:
As an interested bystander in the political
situation in Florida, I have come to several
conclusions and solutions that I fee. are
of utmost interest to the citizens of Florida.
First, there is no doubt that there s
corruption in the highest offices of our
state. The diverting of funds by the
governor is a reality, and must be stopped.
There are too many committees now, the
Morfer Bored?
MR. EDITOR:
I am not a student here, but I work
here. I have been reading all about this
Morter Board organization and want to know
how to join.
A BRICKLAYER

A Real Love Affair

MR. EDITOR:
I think the Pornogator is wonderful. It
is everything a student could possibly
want.

Gator Zipper
m hot %
If LUST ON |
Brotherhood
MR. EDITOR:
My fellow Americans:
Lets all join hands in fellowship this
week and think of our neighbors and friends.
For who could better describe our trying
conditions, and who could think in these
perilous times.
Remember our forefathers in peace, and
give mercy to our unfortunate brothers in
the world.
Thank you, and my blessings.
EDD FREEDMAN, SDS
(Students for a Demagogic Society)

Pomogator Staff
- t
.< /
DRIBBLE Dl NCE PETE SAKES
Assistant News Editor Editorial Assistant
JERRI SILVERMOUTH Nu Dm TO rcHIA
Campus Living Editor Sex and Entertainment Editor
STAFF WRITERS*
Fnnic c* Mikle A. Brainless, James Nomand, James Baked,
Bob Mnr e JT, ey Kien R * A P rils Spiekman, Dave
other fools. Zot Merri Cant, Small Kapman, and assorted
CHIEF CENSOR: Crack Deleter.
STAFF ARTIST: Blonde Sparks.
P^ L r ouf sS e p C tC s S tTo bad.

BEAINOSTRICHES
By LOOSE ROTLEAN
Good Morning! Today I have some questions.
All you have to do is answer the questions
The answer will he s in tomorrows paper

evidence is in hand, and the guilty parties
must be dealt with by law.
Secondly, the educational situation in
Florida has not been solved. We need to
immediately place a new tax structure into
effect which will make Florida industry pay
a fair share of the tax burden.
Third, we have too long discriminated
against the people of South Florida, im immediate
mediate immediate steps should be taken to return
all due gasoline and cigarette taxes which
are coming from this area.
Finally, our University system has suf suffered
fered suffered too long. It should be completely
autonomous, and answerable only to the
Appropriations committee.
These are the beginnings of equality in
Florida. It is only a shame that the people
of the state cannot see these things for
themselves and do something about them.
CLAUDE QUIRK

It answers all my questions on life. It
covers all the news I could possibly want
to know.
I love the Pornogator.
MEMBERS OF IFC

Wiggly Walk
MR. EDITOR:
1) Do you like my mother.
2) Hov/ long is a mile, true or false.
3) I have long fingernails.
4) Did you ever notice that when girls
walk to class, they walk at a medium tempo?
5) Do you agree with me? and p
6) What is the shortest route?
(FLASH) GORDON GALLBREATH
I Hate Ducks
MR. EDITOR:
Why is that we have ducks in the union
pond. I hate ducks. They taste awful and
they taste ducky.
Why cant we have vultures? Vultures
are nice. They pick up the garbage and sleep
all day long.
We could get rid of the ducks by putting
Albert in the duck pond. This would get
rid of the ducks and save money on alli alligator
gator alligator food.
Kissy Kiss,
Wolf Girl



yj&v Jt I


jgnj! sucjgnj! §§§|&|S
GOV. QUIRK
... in better days

'Sex Rules Unfair 9
By D. D. HORNY
Porn orator Staff Writer
Dean of Women Betyu Costly openly denounced the UF ad administration
ministration administration for imposing sexual freedom restrictions on coeds
in a prepared statement Sunday afternoon.
I think the time has come for the administration to realize
the coeds of today have reached a point of maturity that surpass surpasses
es surpasses the amount of credit and respect giventhem/Miss Costly
declared.
If the parents trusted the girls enough to let them come to
the UF, then I see no reason to deny them the chance to prove
that trust is worthy, she added.
In the statement, Dean Costly attacked the administrations*
firm disapproval of allowing open house in the women's dorms
at night. At the recent Cram Area expose Dean Costly acted
as a lawyer in defense of the 19 girls who had male visitors.
The coeds of Cram Area were doing no more than they would
if on a date at any other location. It was said by the administra administration
tion administration that it would not be appropriate to entertain males in a room
that contained only beds on which to sit/* 1 she said. Haven't they
ever heard of day beds, a highly decorative and multi-purpose
piece of furniture that can be seen in the most modern of homes?

i I ft.|
1 4 I f JfJmL* 't'lfr --4fc --4fc
--4fc jjfejp .; I \\\j \i fy V \
*3 &W,x I / \ *\ j
' JtTNj. 4^_~^L- V vilU- Ms T^sjgoPji^
.^jsSreg;i§3|l§^%; < 3gg|raaggSi^^ > $J / ,-
f M \ y
j I j j ,jt
BK-' £f * f Br ft j x | i\ jj -*S*fiMJ&n
' J p># pi v *.\ V ' x^
r' 'v s 1 i / < L *., 'tot* 7 I vWM.
" \ je f i $ <' r* I §** 'STT .:
iO y £.S i j. v>r AMP-aCTg HBMCTI SBL*,y%. Mfx^i-. 4 3tM^J[BK ?? m*. vm'^MlLl
"'^H|nN^i^r'
I* i i iijx *. */^w
Rescuers SHII Attempting To Reach President's Home After Torrential Downpour Sunday
Above Picture Shows Flooded Area Near OBoggles Home

Gov. Quirk To Resign

By HARMLESS ALTER
Pornogator Managing Editor
Vowing to make Florida first
in the south, if not first in the
nation** Gov. Claude Quirk Sun Sunday
day Sunday announced he was resigning
effective today.
Citing the heavy pressures of
his office, including the constant
flying about the country to sell
Florida to the nation/* Quirk said
I*ve had enough.
I*ve had enough abuse, enough

To Be Dropped
From 'Tower For Cheating

By BARRALD OBSENITY
Pornogator Executive Editor
Twelve UF students convicted
of cheating were sentenced to

'Make Florida
First In South 9

work, enough frustrations,
enough problems for a life lifetime,
time, lifetime, Quirk said.
The governor, speaking from
Rio DeJaniero, where he and his
beautiful wife are vacationing and

death Sunday under new Student
Senate legislation which became
effective this month.
Sentenced to be dropped from
Century Tower head first were

M; \
F mm
W jglylj |h|
DEAN COSTLY
sex reforms

Monday, April 1, 1968, The Florida Pornogator,

selling Florida under a special
$50,000 grant from the Florida
Development Commission, said
he*s happy to give Florida back
to the Democrats.
I know Melody Hen will suc sucjgnj!

12 GDls, Honor Court Chancel--
lor Cheat Sinober announced Sun Sunday
day Sunday afternoon.
However, Honor Court regula regulations
tions regulations say names of the 12 can
not be released, Sinober said.
We may let the defendants
know about it early in the week,
after the Board of Masters ap approves
proves approves of it, Sinober said.
Trouble is that some of the
board members have their black
robes and hoods in the cleaners,
so we may not be able to meet
until Thursday or Friday. I would
call them at home and check,
but I dont know their names and
wouldnt know them without their
hoods, Sinober explained.
-
Sinober refused to release de details
tails details about the case without the
permission of the defendants.
Dont forget: we must re remember
member remember the rights of the guilty,
Sinober said.
But sources close to the court
said that the 12 condemned stu students
dents students had refused to share their
exams with Sinober. The sources,
who refused to be identified,
said that refusal to surrender
information to the Chancellor

ceed me, but I don't care,"
Quirk said.
"Pm just an Insurance sales salesman
man salesman and Pve learned that that's
all I really want in life anyway
if I cant be president."
Quirk said "The mess in Flori Florida
da Florida belongs to the Democrats.
They can have what's left of edu education,
cation, education, taxation, road-bull ding
and progress. Pm not going to
leave them much of a legacy be because
cause because I don't like them."

is punishable by death.
This could not be confirmed
because Honor Court regulations
are secret to protect the rights
of the students.
{ L*.*.
'> jf
J "If
iwm s^hkb
1
CENTURY TOWER
. doomsday symbol
Former UF
Prexy Named
Chief Justice
By BARROLD OBSENITY
Pornogator Executive Editor
RIO DE JANERO Ex-UF
President J. Grain Grits has
been appointed 11 to replace the
late Florida Supreme Court Chief
Justice Alfred J. Snurd, Florida
Gov. Claude Quirk announced
Friday.
Grits' long and distinguished
background in agriculture makes
him an ideal candidate for the
post, Quirk said.
The announcement was proba probably
bly probably the last of Quirk's career.
It was made at the conference
where Quirk made known his
intention to resign.
"After all, I guess I know
just as much about law as Ste Stefen
fen Stefen O'Boggle knows about edu education,"
cation," education," Grits reasoned.
Reaction among state person personalities
alities personalities was mixed.
In Tampa, Board of Regents
Chairman Fester Frustration
fumed, "By God, Claude pro promised
mised promised me that if Fautz got chan chancellor,
cellor, chancellor, I'd get that court seat."
He vowed to get even by in instituting
stituting instituting a compulsory ROTC
program for girls. O'Boggle,
Quirk, and Fautz have daughters
at state universities.

Page 7



GAT OR CLASSIFIEDS

FOR SALE f
1964 VESPA 150 Must sell
Perfect mechanical condition never
any trouble. New paint, new tires.
$150.00. 372-6003 or 376-9217.
(Alo4stp)
962 LAMBRETTA 125 cc. Fair
condition. Tool Kit included. $85.00
or best offer. Call 378-8959 after
5:00. Ask for Bob. (Alosstp)
FOR SALE; 55mm Micro Nikkor
Lens (Auto). $125. Sekonic Light
Meter. $60.00 value $35.00. Both
for $l5O. Call 378-4836.
(Alo34tp)
SOLID STATE COMPONENT
STEREO, includes: 54Watt
Amplifier, AM/FM Multiplex tuner,
AR Speakers, Sony Tape Deck,
Weathers turntable. Many Extras
included. Best offer over $450.00.
372-7203. (Alo63tp)
CAMERA: Zess Icon Contena
(35mm), with flash $75.00. Call
David at 378-3937. (A-106-3t-p)
POSTERS! Wholesale to dealers. Free
catalog. Distributor Inquiries invited. j
San Francisco Poster Company. P. O.
Box 38036, Hollywood, Calif.
90038. (Alo6stp)
GUNS GUNS GUNS j
Inventory over 450 Buy Sell 1
Trade Repair. Reloading Supplies, i
Custom Reloading HARRY
BECKWITH, GUN DEALER,
MICANOPY, 466-3340.
(A-106-ts-p)
15' WINDMILL SAILBOAT
complete with 2 H.P. motor, trailer,
and all safety equipment. Less
$350.00. Phone 376-3922 after
5:30 on weekdays. (A-106-3t-p)
ENGAGEMENT RING Distinctive
and Exquisite to say the least. Not
the usual solitare type. Excellent |
color. .32 karat. $295.00. 376-4082.
J. D. HI! (Alos2tp)

*DO-lt-Yourself
I*CIASSIFIEOS sw*Bjgs
Ip* DAYS TO RUN
To order classifieds, use the ftg
Igs form below. Mail it with remit- (consecutive) S 3
diz tance to: Alligator Classifieds, O 1 day
035 Room 330 Reitz Union, Gaines- O 2 days
fU ville, Florida 32601. 3 days (*lO% discount)
§9 0 4 days (*lO% discount) &g
vg* Orders must be RECEIVED Q 5 days and over S 3
3 days prior to publication. (*20% discount)
If DO NOT ORDER BY PHONE If
pe: lAcc |c| a TlO Ki Count the >#oxds, omitting a, an & Sig
the. Addresses and phone numbers
for sale count as one word. Minimum charge S||
r-i f r is SI.OO for 20 words. For each ||j
8* q wanted additional word add 3?. Multiply
help wanted the tolal by nu^ er days lhe
q autos is to run. Subtract the discount S 3
personal a PP licable ) and enclose a check
n io<;t found for the remainder. For example, gC
n services a 32-word ad to run 4 days costs M
U ser ices s4>9o ($5>44 less 54
WORDING f||
|| NAME DATE 3
S STUDENT # PHONE ||
fl CITY STATE ZIP Jj
fiafeimoney cannot be refunded if ad is cancel ledsSgj
j c 'V
; -- j : ;<

FOR RENTY
AVAILABLE NOW. Cottage, two
large bedrooms accomodate four
responsible students. Very attractive
interior. Panelled living-room,
fireplace, dining-room. 11 NE 7th
St. 372-0093 or 372-1402.
(Blo6stp)
ROOMS. AC and CH. 3 blocks from
campus. Senior or graduate men or
sorority or fraternity groups. Phone
378-8122 or 376-6652.
(Blol lOtp)
UNFURNISHED two bedroom one
bath house at 1720 NW 7th Place.
$95.00 per month. Married couples
only. Call 376-5168 or 376-9990.
(Blo4stp)
OUTGROWN "Sin City?" Furnished
apt. to sublet for JuneAugust. Air
conditioned, patio, NEW,, 1017 NW
39th Ave. Call Ron at 3783895 any
morning before 10 or evening after 7.
(Blo43tp)
3 BLOCKS from campus. One
vacancy in double room for male
student. Air conditioned,
refrigerator. Rent reasonable. 327
NW 15th Terr. 372-8929,
afternoons. (Blo3stp)
AIR CONDITIONED House Trailer
8' x 40' One bedroom, fully
furnished, swimming pool, beautiful
location Rent $60.00 per month. Call
Paul 372-7178. (B-103-3t-p)
LARGE ROOM up stairs can
accommodate 3 girls. Has frigidaire
large window fan, telephone, living
room and T.V. privileges. Utilities
paid. % block from Santa Fe Jr.
College. $35.00. 378-4018.
(Blos2tp)
APT. suited for couple or two
students located near mall. $75.00
per month, includes electricity and
water. Call 378-1776.
(Blosstp)

1, The Florida Pornogator, Monday, April 1, 1968

Page 8

FOR RENT
SUBLEASE Best location in entire
University Gardens. Corner
Apartment by pool and parking lot.
Contact Gardens office about Apt.
710-102 or call 378-8024.
(Blos3tp)
SUMMER quarter for rent
Furnished apt., AC, 2 blocks from
campus. $60.00 per month
completely remodeled just this year.
306L, NW 16th St. 376-1596.
(Blosstp)
ONE AND TWO bedroom furnished
apartment, CH/AC, Summer rates.
Call Vern Hinson. 3782558.
(B-106-ts-c)
OLYMPIA Two bedroom apartment
to sublet for 3rd and/or 4th quarters.
Call 378-5274. (B-104-4t-p)
WANTED
v
FEMALE roommate wanted to Share
3 bedroom house, NE section.
$33.00 per month. 3763538.
(Clo44tp)
5
211
i Big bhows All In Color
IWJUT UNTIL I
IBanningl
H 11:19 wl M
No. bAt 7:22 I/JEDQM

If) ACADEMY AWARD
lw NOMINATIONS
~ Spencer. Sidney Katharine Sh wn
wGH tract 1 poitier 1 hepburn
guess who's l 1 ,'!
comin B to dinner mo

"^ Il 1 "^1
f BIKINIS M
I A-GO-GO
I The Wild Ones Are Here"
J v WBB k
r EXCLUSIVE FASHIONS I
BY THE TWINS INC. ~
OF MIAMI Am
brightest colors ml A />
NEWEST FLORAL PRINTS
SPLIT SIZES AVAILABLE
#) LARGEST INVENTORY W
' IN NORTH FLORIDA
PROFESSIONAL SERVICE PHARMACY
ACROSS FROM PIZZA HUT

WANTED
EXCITING 2 bedroom Landmark
Apt. need 2 more female roommates
to share AC, beautifully furnished
apt.. Dishwasher, Pool. Call Susie or
Patti. 378-5809. (C-105-3t-p)
FEMALE roommate wanted for one
bedroom University Gard "f
Apartment. $60.00 per month. 716
SW 16th Ave. Apt. 106 or call
378-5841. (Clo 3
TWO FEMALE roommates needed
desperately to share two bedroom
apartment with 2 seniors. AC, carpet,
pool $38.75 a month. Butler
Apartments. 982 SW 16th Ave.
378-3583.
YOUR OWN BEDROOM in Olympia
Apts. S4O/mo. Spring qtr. only.
Female. Call 3788434.
(Clo43td)
NO LEASE. Female roommate for
Private House. Own bedroom. 5 min.
walk to Med Center. $26.50 per
month. Share Utilities. Call
372-3940. (C 1035 t p)
Held Over!
Feature at 7:20 & 11:00 |
IT S NOT WHO YOU CON
prul nEiunwn tSB
The Secret lUarof X3IB
] Cofeature at 9:20 I
Suggested mSSto

Use our handy
mail in order
form.

X'JVAVViV,''
WANTED |
LOOKING for roommate (either se*l
to share wild, wood-panaieo
2-bedroom, air conditioned garaqe
apt. Water and electricity included in
rent Jim at 372-1574 after 10 nn
p.m. (Clo63tp)
FEMALE roommate wanted: to
share one room Apt. Across street
from campus. $37.50 per month
Immediate occupancy. Applv 321
SW 13th St. Apt. 2. (Clo6-st-p)
FURNISHED, one-bedroom
apartment, preferably with cooking
facilities and reasonably close to
campus for two weeks April 5-20.
Call Lou Tally, 376-9205. Leave
Message. (Clol-stp)
FEMALE roommate wanted: two
blocks from campus, $30.00 per
month plus utilities. Phone
378-7327. (C-104-4t-p)
| Downtown OtrimtitHh j
[ Rmeklaf Ckmir Twh )
HuIUIUI t
I IQIS M. w. 13th S>. I
, 1:35 4: 06 6:37 9tofil
onds |
THUR.
It's the
Happiest i
Musical 1
of the |



GATOR CLASSIFIEDS

. -r.v.w
,%** v
WANTED
MALE roommate for spring quarter.
SIOO.OO for quarter utilities
included. One block from campus.
202 NW 14th St. 378-5878.
(C-104 3tp)
WANTED: Female roommate for
Spring Quarter. Landmark
Apartment; $43.75 per month. Pips
Utilities. 378-7033. (C-104-3t-p)
ATTRACTIVE girl to cook for four
male graduate students one or more
days per week. Compensation: free
meals plus companionship.
372-2182. (Clo43t p) r
FEMALE roommate wanteu .v,.
spring quarter. Williamsburg Apts.
Immediate occupancy. Call
3784459. (Clos3t p)
f HELP WANTED f
HELP WANTED: Female, various
part time openings. Night or Day.
Arrange to your schedule. Apply
either Kings Food Host location.
(E-1043tc)
HELP WANTED: Male, various part
time openings. Night or Day. Arrange
to your schedule. Apply either Kings
Food Host location. (Elo43tc)
ALACHUA GENERAL HOSPITAL
has immediate openings for: Medical
Technologist, Maintenance
Mechanics, Clerk Typists, Ward
Clerks and Registered Nurses.
Permanent employment with good
working conditions, good starting
salaries in all areas. Paid vacations,
holidays and sick leave. State
Retirement Plan and other fringe
benefits. Apply: Personnel Director,
912 SW 4th Avenue.
(Elollotc)
BUSBOY! Part time; hours 5 p.m. to
approx. 8:30 p.m. six days a week.
Apply Gino's Italian Restaurant. Call
376-1322. 2204 SW 13th St.
Gainesville, Florida. (Elo4tfc)
DELIVERY BOYS Part time and
full time shifts available. Drive our
vehicles. Apply Gino's Italian
Restaurant. 376-1322. 2204 SW
13th St. (Elo4tfc)
HIGHLY QUALIFIED SECRETARY
for builders office. Shorthand, good
typing and other secretarial skills
essential. Permanent job, excellent
pay. Do <* not apply 1 unless well
qualified. Phone 3769950 days or
378-2000 evenings. (E-101-ts-c)
LUMS RESTAUkaimi Desires
part time waitresses and a cashier.
Must be 21 years of age. Wages, Plus
good tips. Apply 1621 SW 13th St.
Phone 376-9408. (E-106-st-c)
ADVERTISING SALESMAN for the
Florida Alligator. Must have car and
be available for summer term. Good
pay, good working conditions, great
experience. Ad majors preferred.
Apply room 330 Reitz Union.
(Elo6nctf)
AUTOS
v C X
FOR SALE: 1960 Renault Dauphine.
Good condition. $200.00 or best
offer. Call 376-1490.
(Glo4stp)
59 OLDSMOBILE ,2door hardtop.
Radio, heater, new whitewall tires.
Excellent ride. $220 or best offer.
Call Bill at 376-2082.
(Glo3stp)
1965 LTD. Ford's luxury 4-door
Hardtop. Dark Green. White Vinyl
Top. Beautiful car. Immaculate
condition. Call 376-3968 after 5 or
anytime. $1,595.00. (G-104-st-p)
XKE Jaguar, top running condition.
Needs hood work, $1,400. Archer
Rd. Village Trailer Park Alpha 8.
(Glol10tp)
1964 SUNBEAM Alpine Convertable,
excellent condition, radio, heater,
premium tires, new top. Tonneau
cover, must sell. Best Offer.
3785443 anytime. (Glo4st p)
'64 DODGE Dart, Standard
Transmission. Excellent condition,
9as mileage and tires. $650.00. Will
bargain. Call Bob, 378-5174,
mornings, 5 p.m. 6:30 p.m.
(Glo4stp)
DEPENDABLE transportation. 1955
Ford VB automatic. Sharp on the
outside needs seat covers. Excellent
tires. Asking $250.00. Call *ck
378-4135. (Glos4tp)

| AUTOS
STINGRAY Convertable, 1965,
excellent condition, full power, AC,
AM/FM radio, removable hardtop,
327 engine, 4-speed, 378-5443
anytime. See at Arts Shell Station.
(G-1045tp)
1963 AUSTIN HEALEY "3000"
MKII, New top. Custom interior, roll
up windows, electric overdrive,
excellent mechanically, call
372-9763 after 6:00.
(G 1064 tp)
FOR SALE: 1957 Rambler Station
Wagon. VB, Power Brakes, good tires.
Good transportation. $150.00 or will
trade for motorcycle of equal value.
3786004 afternoons and evenings.
(Glo62tp)
PLYMOUTH Belvedere 1963, V-8,
Air Conditioning, Power Steering,
Automatic Transmission, Radio, 4
Door, $695 or best offer, 3762895.
(Glo63tp)
LEAVING TOWN. Must sell. 63
Bonneville convertible. Power
Steering, power brakes, four on floor.
Excellent condition. Call 3783686
or Santa Fe Junior College Library
378-5311. (Glo6Btp)
PERSONAL
TIRED OF RAT RACE!!! Two good
looking, groovy males looking for
two very attractive, hip females.
Objective: PINNING? Apply
3764322 Gary and Jeff.
(J-1034tp)
FREE puppy, complete with
accessories. Very lovable. Ideal for
children or as a companion. Given to
a good home. 3769420.
(J-1043tp)
SNUGGS: Bad "Fools Day" Huh! I'll
try to make it better though. Your
Scalped Spoofer. (Jlo6ltp)
STUDENT AND FACULTY:
Interested in stopping LBJ? Call
University concerned Domocrats,
Ext 2839. (Jlo43tp)
TALENT needed for Gator Gras
Minstrel Show, May 10th Variety
acts, male singers including bass
voice. Contact soon!! Linda
376-9163 or 376-9363.
(Jlo63tp)
IS YOUR WIFE working to put you
through school? Give her a dignified
Bxlo CERTIFICATE OF
ACHIEVEMENT on parchment-like
paper which honors her contribution.
Only $2.25. Wilset Co. Route 2,
Concord, N. H. 03301.
(Jlo6lotd)
NEW LEFT, Old Liberal, or just Up
Tight with the Draft: Beat the
Quarter System and get involved. Call
the Freedom phone: 3783711.
(Jlosst p)
LONER-TYPE Law Senior desires
bouncy attractive female who loves
skiing, motorcycles, and the outdoors
as well as dancing and parties must be
mature and intelligent and able to
drive ski-boat. 376-4082. (See my
Engagement Ring ad) (Jlos2t p)
JOIN TH EfTABU LOUS 48 in '6B.
(Jlo42t p)
TYPING, IBM typewriter. Straight
copy and equations. 376-8937.
(Jlos2t p)
BUCK THE SYSTEM. Wear an Ankh
to Logic Class. DEMI AN'S at the
SCENE by Carolyn Plaza.
(Jlosltc)
"COME ONE, COME All, TO THE
FLEA MARKET BAZAAR' see the
large selection of many interesting
items on display, gifts, artwork.
Jewelry and many items for homes,
offices, and gifts. If you have
anything interesting to sell, d,s P a / !*
at the Flea Market Bazaar. Stalls
available for $4.00 and $3.00. March
31 at 1 p.m. 6 p.m. Center gallery
South of highway 441 and Will.ston
cut off. Reserve your steMs td a V V-495-2314
-495-2314 V-495-2314 or 376-1236.
(J-103 3tc)
LOST & FOUND ;
LOST MARCH 9th in Mat-8 Yellow
London Fog. R-J.D. Monogram.
Reward. $5.00. No questions asked.
3762044* (L-1033t p)
LOST MaTch 26 near Art Gallery,
brown man's wallet with drivers
license, other identification $5 00
reward for return. Call 372-8332.
(Llo 6 2t-p)
.7*

SERVICES
CHILD CARE in home.
MondayFriday. NE section. Play
room, fenced yard with swings.
Lunch and snacks. SIO.OO per week.
376-8523. (M-106-3t-p)
TENNIS RACKET RESTRINGING,
satisfaction guaranteed. Free Pick up
and delivery on and near campus.
Call M and R Tennis Services.
378-2489. (M-104-18t-p)
CUSTOM draperies and upholstering.
Fabric samples and free estimates in
your home. Tiffany Interiors,
telephone 4812587.
(Mlos3t p)
REGISTERED NURSES WANTED:
Five days on duty, two days off; no
rotating or split shifts, annual leave,
state retirement, etc. Please contact
the Director of Nurses or Personnel
office, Sunland Training Center,
Gainesville, Florida. (Mlosstp)
ALTERNATORS-GENERATORS ALTERNATORS-GENERATORSSTARTERS
STARTERS ALTERNATORS-GENERATORSSTARTERS Electrical systems
tested repairs. Auto Electric Service
603 SE Second Street. 3787330.
(Mloltfc)
I LOVE CHILDREN and want to see
them have the love and attention
they need. Have helper and cook
good hot meals with milk, snacks and
juice. Fenced yard downtown area,
lots of toys. 378 4lOB.
(Mlolstp)
INCOME TAX RETURNS . $4.00
- up. SPECIAL rates for Univ.
Students, Faculty and employees. At
REbel Discount. 1227 W. Univ. Ave.
376-7430, 378-6127, across from
Wolfies. (Mlollst p)
y \
NEED ZIPPY
RESULTS?
GATOR
" CLASSIFIEDS
.

Build ozer Buries
Car Near Union

, By STEEP PALSEY
Alligator Staff Writer
Two UF students maybe buried
beneath the parking lot which is
under construction beside the
Grain Grits Union, the Porno Pornogator
gator Pornogator learned Sunday.
The Kampus Keystone Kops
promised a rescue soon.
Alvin J. Fumbalaiot, toreman
for the parking lot construction
project, said when workers ar arrived
rived arrived for work Saturday morning,
two students in a late model car
were parked in the sandy lot.
Workers said the students ap appeared
peared appeared to be necking and were
oblivious to the work and noise
going on around them.
Fumbalaiot said the car was
noticed missing right after a
bulldozer had moved some piles
of dirt from one area of the
parking lot to another area. He
said the car could possibly have
been buried by the bulldozer,
because there is place for a
car to drive up th#§teep embank embankments.
ments. embankments.
Fumbalaiot reported the inci incident
dent incident to the Keystone Kops Sunday
morning by telephone right after
he got home from church.

Question
Os Tiie Day
QUESTION: Why are female
student leaders ugly?
ANSWERS:
Dean of Women Betyu Cost Costly:
ly: Costly:
Female student leaders are
ugly because they wouldnt be become
come become leaders if they could get
dates but since they dont get
dates they have nothing to do
so they become female student
leaders, if you know what I
mearj.
Dean of Sexual Affairs Jes Jester
ter Jester Male:
Ugh, if you ask me about
that Id have to say what a
stupid question you are ask asking.
ing. asking. Women belong in the
home. As the Bible says, wo women
men women should be seen but not
heard, bless you Lord.
Student Body Vice-President
Grunch Badrich.
What, pray tell, is a female
student leader?
Mortar Board President
Qutie Cobble:
Female student leaders are
beautiful.
President: Justice: Mr.:Ste Mr.:Stefen
fen Mr.:Stefen C. OBoggle:
If I hear one more word
about the girls inrolard Hall,
Ill you!

ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEACHERS
WANTED IN CALIFORNIA
Elementary schoolteachers are want wanted
ed wanted in a young progressive school dis district
trict district near Los Angeles, California.
New, modern school buildings, in a
rapidly growing area near the San
Fernando Valley offers teachers ideal
teaching conditions. Excellent sala salaries.
ries. salaries. Only 40 minutes from Holly Hollywood,
wood, Hollywood, Santa Monica, or Pasadena.
Interviews for applicants will be given
on Friday, April 5, by Dr. Ralph
. Bell, District Superintendent of Sul Sulphur
phur Sulphur Springs JJnion School District.
Contact the Placement Office for
further information and appointment.
. 11. i II | ) I|NI II ' MI

Monday, April 1, 1968, The Florida Pornogator,

There didnt seem to be any
reason to interrupt our work to
report it, said Fumbalaiot.
After all, they were only stu students.
dents. students.
Lt. P. D. Hollyhock said his
department is unable to under undertake
take undertake rescue operations for the
students at this time.
Every man on the force is
engaged in issuing parking tic tickets,
kets, tickets, Hollyhock said. You
know how students are about
parking in the wrong place to get
to class on time.
We are really zapping it to
them, and making oodles of money
for Student Government at the
same time, said Hollyhock,
chuckling and rubbing his hands
together.
Dean of Men Crank Bad mans
said the students will be dropped
from school if they are not in
class Monday morning.
Dean of Women Betyu Costly
said she is sure no UF coed is
in the car.
I am certain no UF coed will
consent to sit in a parked car, in
a lonely place, at night with a man
all alone, Costly said. It must
be a girl from FSU.
Workers at the project said
they were unable to distinguish
the sexes of the cars occupants.
They both had long hair, said
one worker. But its got so I
cant tell boys from girls, the way
they dress and fix their hair.
Hollyhock expressed hope that
one or two of his officers would
catch up on their ticketing
Wednesday or Thursday and try
'o find the students.

L&W
CAFETERIA
MONDAY NIGHT
MOUTHWATERING
CHICKEN CHOP SUEY
with RICE
OR
BEEF & MACARONI
49<
Byam\ 313
(SiA ll W.Univ.
CAFETERIA 1
Serving
' 11:15-2 pm
4:30-8 pm

Page 9



), The Florida Pornogator, Monday, April i,- 1968

Page 10

and

ADDRESS ALL CAMPUS CALENDAR
NOTICES TO PUBLIC FUNCTIONS
OFFICE, FLORIDA UNION

ADMINISTRATIVE
NOTICES

STATE NURSING AND STATE
TEACHER SCHOLARSHIP LOAN
HOLDERS: Scholarship funds are
now available, Scholarship Sec Section,
tion, Section, Student Service Center, for
4he winter quarter 1967-68.
GENERAL NOTICES
EASTEREGG HUNT for chil children,
dren, children, sponsored by Business Ad Administration
ministration Administration Dames, will be held
Saturday, April 6, 2-4 p.m., at
Perry House, 2300 Newberry
Road. Bring your own baskets.
Free Icees will be supplied by
Gainesville Icee Corp.
PAINTING FOR FUN will be
held on Thursdays, April 1-May
16, from 7-9:30 p.m. in Room
118, Reitz Union. Mrs. Gladys
Johns will be Instructor. Tlie me media
dia media is collages using paper and
other materials. To register,
contaqt Room 3io, Program
office, Reitz Union. Telephone
376-3261, Ext. 2741.

'Of $5 and buy a
SEMINOLE
.y~./ ;
'". \ : "7 ~nt- - "7 1
All books must be reserved in advance at Room 330 Reitz Union
InSavinnsbv theloth... a m|}|t|f fflfrjjk
/Xo?\ Earns Interest from the IstS^lilfiWPjlp|
X 5 1/4 % per year dividend credited semi-annually
Minlmum dividend earning account only $5.0011! |
campus federal credit unioW
- 3:30 p.m. Monday through Friday. I

NEW FOREIGN STUDENTS are
invited to a welcome dinner at
6:30 p.m., Monday, April 1, at
First Methodist Church Fellow Fellowship
ship Fellowship Hall, 419 NE First Street.
Bring wives. Hosts will be the
Gainesville Council for Inter International
national International Friendship and the wives
(and husbands) of the Inter International
national International Womens Club. Further
information may be obtained from
Glenn A. Farris, Foreign Student
Adviser.
GATOR GRAS needs talent for
its Minstrel show. Anyone in interested
terested interested contact Linda at 376-
9163.
VOLUNTEERS NEEDED FOR
ENGLISH-IN ACTION to meet
each week with a person from
other lands for English conver conversation
sation conversation practice one or two hours
on Mondays and Wednesdays from
4-8 p.m. at the Baptist Student
Center, 1604 W. University Ave.

BLUB BULLETIN

GENERAL NOTICES

FELLOWSHIP SUPPER will be
held at the Baptist Student Center
Thursday, at 5:30 p.m. Anyone
Interested may sign up by noon
Thursday at the Baptist Student
Center.
' PLACEMENT NOTICES
Students must be registered
with the Placement Service to
Interview. Sign-up sheets are
posted two weeks in advance of
the interview date at the J.
WAYNE REITZ UNION, ROOM
22. All companies will be re recruiting
cruiting recruiting for June and August
graduates unless indicated other otherwise.
wise. otherwise.
APRIL 5:
FREMONT UNIFIED SCHOOL
DISTRICT. Education.
HUMBLE OIL COMPANY.

HUMBLE OIL COMPANY.

Monday, April 1
Florida Players: meeting, Con Constans
stans Constans Theatre, 6 p.m.
Program Office: dancing lessons,
245 Union, 7 p.m.
Gator Ski Club: meeting, 346
Union, 7:30 p.m. Election of
officers, all members please
attend.
Gator Amateur Radio Club: meet meeting,
ing, meeting, 525 E&I, 8 p.m.
Tuesday, April 2
Program Office: bridge lessons,
Union 150 B, 7 p.m.
Semper Fidelis Society: meet meeting,
ing, meeting, 361 Union, 7:30 p.m.
Art Lecture: Dr. Douglas Fraser,
Aspects of Primitive Art,
Univ. Gallery, 8 p.m.
Architecture Lecture: Mark
Treib, Modern Architecture
In Finland, 105 BAFA, 8 p.m.
Mens and Womens Glee Club:
concert, Univ. Aud., 8:15 p.m.
History Lecture: Prof. Michael
Kraus, Was America a Mis Mistake?
take? Mistake? The Impact of the New

CAMPUS CALENDAR
T

World on the Old, 103 B
AFA. 8:15 p.m.
Wednesday, April 3
UF Symphonic Band: Twilight
Concert, Plaza of the Ameri Americas,
cas, Americas, 6:45 p.m.
AIA Film Series: Sienna, and
The Lost City of Ankor,
105 B AFA, 7:30 p.m.
Language and Literature Club:
Prof. Raymond Gay-Crosier
The Tragic: A Phenomenolo Phenomenological
gical Phenomenological Approach, 103 B AFA,
B:is p.m.
UNION BOX OFFICE
Tickets are now on sale for the
Beach Boys. Tickets are
$2.50/person.
Tickets go on sale Tuesday, April
2 for Florida Players produc production
tion production of Luther. Tickets are
25? for Students, 75? for chil children
dren children and high school students,
and $1.50 for faculty, staff and
the General public.



AAUP Opposes
Academic Freedom

By FOWL WATTER
Pornogator Staff Writer
The Association of Angry Uni University
versity University Professors (AAUP) Sun Sunday
day Sunday reaffirmed its stand that pro professors
fessors professors should play no role in
university life outside of class classroom
room classroom instruction and research.
If the term academic
freedom has any meaning at all,
it means we should be free to
UF Students
Demand
More Rules
By RED TIDE
Pornogator Staff Writer
More than 500 UF students
paraded in front of Tigert Hall
Sunday night, demanding more
rules and regulations to live by.
Led by the Students for a Dis Disciplined
ciplined Disciplined Society (SDS), the
marchers rapped the laissez laissezfaire
faire laissezfaire attitude of UF administra administrators
tors administrators for giving too much respon responsiblity
siblity responsiblity to students too soon.
After all, most of us are not
old enough to vote, said Fred
Ruleman, SDS spokesman. We
are forced to spend most of our
money calling home to Mamma
and Pappa for advice.
The students demanded five re reforms:
forms: reforms:
(1) That attendance be taken
at every class and no more than
two absences be permitted each
term
(2) That a general 11 p.m. cur curfew
few curfew for both male and female
students be rigidly enforced. We
are victims of a double stand standard,
ard, standard, contended Nick Brats, pre president
sident president of Mens Interhall Council.
(3) That the student newspaper
devote itself to**guest columns
from UF faculty and administra administrators.
tors. administrators.
(4) That military discipline
govern all areas of student con conduct,
duct, conduct, making the UF the West
Point of the South.
(5) That student government
select an elite Gator Guard
to patrol the campus, keeping
out outside agitators who come
to the campus to disrupt our tran tranquility
quility tranquility and besmirch the image
of our beloved alma mater.
Another SDS spokesman, Tom
Dullmore, said the group was
concerned over Student anxiety
caused by mixing of the sexes
on the campus.
After 20 years its time to
admit that coeducation is a fail failure
ure failure on the UF campus, he said.
Instead of reducing the amount
of time students devote to frivo frivolous
lous frivolous concerns, it has increased
them. Only a new Prohibition Act
will save us from the oldest fate
worse than death known to man.
DATSUN
The all new
Datsun is
coming to
Gainesville,
SOON!

devote our entire energies to aca academic
demic academic pursuits, declared Dr.
G. K. OSledge) Hammerer, AAUP
president
Hammerer said UF professors
are concerned about being asked
to give some of their time to
participate in the decision- mak making
ing making process of the university.
t *Just because a mah is a good
nuclear physicist or an authority
on 17th Century art, what makes
the UF think he knows anything
about running a university?
Hammerer asked.
The professors contended that
UF administration should be left
up to professionals, preferably
men drawn from the field of
politics and military service.
Part of Sundays resolution in included
cluded included a request that each UF
professor donate one days pay
to permit the hiring of more ad administrators,
ministrators, administrators, particularly vice
presidents.
Rather than always coming to
us for advice, why doesnt the
UF hire four, six or eight more
vice presidents. We think it is
a disgrace for a university of
this size to attempt to get by
with only four, Hammerer com commeted.
meted. commeted.
As on all previous occasions,
the AAUP took pains to note
that only 45 persons, including
25 nonmembers, took part in the
meeting.
We want it understood that
we speak for only a small
minority of the faculty, Ham Hammerer
merer Hammerer declared. We are always
afraid that the news media might
misinterpret our action as re reflecting
flecting reflecting the attitudes of the facul faculty
ty faculty as a whole.
High Membership
Did you know that three out of
three Internal Fun Council mem members
bers members do it? Yes, two out of three
UF girls say its true.

Enjoy Personal Barber Service
\f.W Relax In comfort and convenience at the best m the profes profesi
i profesi / sional barber field In Gainesville. Specialists In razor cuts,
*'trimmings, washings and conventional cuts. See Kenny or Mac
at... SIMS BARBER SHOP
817 West University 378-2016
say Be Mine
with an \ i
K :
DIAMOND RING |fjPjgk 0^
Will you fumble for words at m
that very special moment' a-
No matter. Your choice of an \'
i Art Carved diamond ring will
say it beautifully, and carry W'
that special message of love
each day of her every year. |f
Since 1850, more bndes have
cherished Art Carved rings
than any other. This proud
; K heritage is yours to see today \ %
. \in our exciting new collection \ r }\t
\ of Art Carved diamond nngs.
/ Gainesville's Quality Jeweler
I I JIS MEMBER AMERICAN
\y l society
Phone 376-2655 103 W Univ. Ave. :

(Photo By Spike Cuddleston)
GATOR GUY
Rich A Go Go, Tri
Delt little brother, is
todays lucious cam campus
pus campus beauty. Born in
Middlesex, Kentucky,
A Go Go plans to pur pursue
sue pursue a career in orna ornamental
mental ornamental glassblowing.
Watch for
DUMP L.B.J.
Headquaters
Opening Soon
1107 N. MAIN ST.
University
Concerned
Democrats
pd. pol. ad.

Monday, April 1, 1968. The Florida Pornogator,

ITouTpasa?
Ummmmmmmmmmmmy NEWSHAWK CHAFED
Pomogator Staff Writer
IN A LOTTA BULL: UF Presldent:Justlce:Mr. Stefen OBoggle
will give a bullfighting exhibition at 3:30 in the Plaza of the Americas.
A slight admission charge of $125 a quarter Is asked.
IN CIVIC ORGANIZATIONS: The Gay-nesville-Ocala Happy Redneck
Club will meet In the outhouse serving Murphree Area and the sur surrounding
rounding surrounding vicinity at 7 yesterday morning.
IN SPEAKING OUT ON THAT OLD SUBJECT: The Student Grand
Committee for a Realistic Vietnam Policy, a group which emphatically
denies being a Commie front, will meet today, at some time or other,
In room 1124 of the Grits Union to denounce Yankee imperialists.
Admission, 3 ruples. Bring your own slogan.
IN FINALLY TAKING A STAND: The NCAA announced its decision
on the practice of giving athletes an automatic degree in the field of
their choice tonite at a closed meeting open to the public in the broken
elevator on the ground floor of the union at tooth-hurty.
IN CHANGES OF VIEWPOINTS: Regents Chairman Fester Frustration
will MC the love-in sponsored by the Chaste Women's Temptation
League to be held in the 4th floor bathroom of the union at groove-time
tonite. Frustration was against the hippie movement until he was fired
from the Board of Regents for running thru the capitol building in
Tallahassee screaming, Smoke Pot!" Smoke Pot!" at the top of
his lungs,
an
tUNR . <<
Mk.,.
wfmm -a-Ai x.
mmM IP
Wfl 1$ \ Mj ; ....
jk. 'J£Hb\ J m&M&mjimm
fcjg&FfjLA &£ BBlfc |
Mirk
MMylrMra i v<> ji.
;i em ~ \MmSsmSmmsmMmem,i.
Jrak Jet
Theres a place for YOU
in a Florida fraternity
Even work isn't so hard when you're doing
it with people you like.
A spirit of cooperation and helping is one
of the ideals of a fraternity
The feeling of belonging to a group and
the close interaction with other individuals
of similar interests will be highlights of
; your college years
i # '
OPEN HOUSE FROM
7- 10 TONIGHT AT
1 |' -
CHI PHI PHI KAPPA PSI
DELTA SIGMA PHI PHI EPSILON PI
; i' PHI KAPPA TAU
4

Page 11



Page 12

, The Florida Pornogator, Monday, April 1, 1968

Governor Kirk signing two morfe cational crisis,
teacher volunteers during the edu-

UF Honor Court Chancellor:
'Cheating Can't Be Stopped 1

Honor Court Chancellor Cheat
Slnober announced Saturday the
Honor Court has come to the
realization that it cannot handle
student cheating.
1(1 The cheating," explained
Slnober, is Just too wide spread.
But we do feel that something
should be done to see that cheat cheaters
ers cheaters do not have an unfair advan advantage
tage advantage over students who do not
cheat. So we haye decided to or organize
ganize organize classes in student cheat cheating."
ing." cheating."

EVER SEE A CLASSIC AS CHIC AS THESE?
JOHN MEYER renders the dirndl with loving tradition and gives you the now impact that spring is all about!
The dirndl suit, belted, topped with flippant jacket, in pretty pastels, 6-16, S3O. The dirndl dress with the look
of linen in Erinweave rayon and flax, 6-16, s2l- Choose and charge a classic in Maas Village Shop.
SHOP MONDAY THROUGH SATURDAY 10 A.M. TIL 9:30 P.M.!

According to Slnober, the
classes will be organized this
summer and begin operations in
September.
Tbe advantages to these class classes
es classes are two-fold according to Sino Sinober.
ber. Sinober. First, the classes would tend
to equalize students in the same
fashion as if there were no cheat cheating
ing cheating at all.
Second, the legalizing of cheat cheating
ing cheating would remove much of the
burdensom load toe Honor Court
must now carry.
The Honor Court/ Slnober

said, has too much to do. We
spend all our time with cheaters
and ignore more important things
like seeing that the fruit is paid
for."
In addition to student cheating
classes, the Honor Court will
help students copy existing files
by offering use of copy machines
at a reduced rate.
Slnober said the Honor Court
is now negotiating with officials
of the J. Grain Grits Union for
space in the union to hold the
classes.

'Gator Editor
Drowns Sunday

By ROBBER MORON
Pornogator Staff Writer
Pornogator Editor Speed Hawk
drowned Sunday afternoon as he
was nonchalantly strolling across
Lake Alice.
According to witness Harm Harmless
less Harmless Alter, Pornogator managing
editor, Hawk was fine until his
ROTC combat boots became wa water-logged,
ter-logged, water-logged, dragging him to his
death. A medal inscribed blood
redder than thou," was all res rescue
cue rescue workers salvaged from the
lake.
Alter said he probably could
have saved Hawk, but he was
wearing a new Gant shirt at
the time and didnt feel the oc occasion
casion occasion warranted getting the shirt
wet and possibly ruining it.
Sports Editor Snob Panecky
and Head Coach Ray Grieves
collaborated in publicity and tic ticket
ket ticket sales for the event.
As the crowd of spectators
grew, UF cheerleaders led the
massive group in soul inspiring
cheers and sing-alongs.
UF President:Justice:Mr. Ste Stefen
fen Stefen OBoggle sold gatorade. The
president shook hands with every
customer, bubbling: Hi, Im
Stefen OBoggle and weve got to
make tnls campus a friendly place
and fun thing. And theres no time
like the present."
Dave Baron of the Student
Board of Investigation made the
only attempt to save Hull, but
was unsuccessfull.
Baron commented upon retur returning
ning returning to shore, Sometimes you
get in so deep, youve got to swim
for your life and cant worry about
saving anybody else."

Flq Contorchians passed out
pork chops.
Draft Director Hershey, in
Florida on a speaking en engagement,
gagement, engagement, claimed the leaky
boots were a clear act of sabo sabotage.
tage. sabotage. He said it was a clever
plot to keep Hawk from fulfil fulfilling
ling fulfilling his ROTC commitment.
In retaliation Hershey ordered
the Gay-nesville local board to
immediately induct the lake.
Ill have that damn lake on
the front lines by June, he
growled.
Run Naked
Costly Urges
- Clothing regulations for the
UF campus have been revoked,
according to Dean of Women
Betyu Costly.
After reading the recent
Pornogator series about nudie
camps, she said, Im sold
on the idea. Why wear cloth clothing?*
ing?* clothing?*
Dean of Sexual Affairs Jes Jester
ter Jester Male appeared unconcerned
with the change.
Who gives a damn, he said.
Did you know that two out of
three UF girls do? Yes, the Am American
erican American Liberation of Women
Bureau reports its true. And,
whats more, its happening here,
every day.
tr-



iiiiillfflll IKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII llllllllllllli

these people
r
are the
Seminole Seminolethey
they Seminolethey are the
people who have
made your years
% <
at the University
of Florida
the most exciting
and challenging
of your life.
you can
remember these
days with the
i
Seminole,
your record
of your
college career.
; f
order your copy
today.
send $5 with
your name
address, and
- r ~
student number
to Seminole
330 Reitz Union.
' '' ' ' CJ
w
w
m
t%



UF Second In Alcohol Consumption

By PEARLY ALLENEONI
Pomogator Staff Writer
The UF has been rated second
in alcohol com sumption among
the nation's campuses by Clayboy
magazine in a poll entitled Cam Campus
pus Campus Drinking Where the Drunks
Are,", appearing in the current
edition.
"Although the University of
Florida does, indeed, boast an
amazingly high number of stu students
dents students addicted to alcohol, it is
the opinion of the judges that
Holy Trinity College is the top
drinking campus across the na nation,"
tion," nation," the article said.
"It was learned that only half

Luscious Coed Lauds Food
From Campus Food Service

By RAUL SPICKMAN
Pornogator Staff Writer
"It was the most delicious meal
I ever ate," said the shapely
12-13-44 blonde after devouring
a nourishing lunch at a campus
cafeteria.
Nearby students cheered their
approval when the beautiful Miss
Wendy Vasemere, ISA, said: "I
want to compliment the Univer University
sity University Food Service for serving
me the most delicious meal I
have ever eaten in my life."
Miss Vasemere said "the
sumptuous fried chicken and
warm, fluffy mashed potatoes

O'
Sheep-herder Loses Bid
For Dog Catching Post

Charlemagne Sheep-herder, a
former student bod president who
recently completed a brilliant
career in law school, lost his
first big chance at state politics
recently.
He ran for Dog Catcher of
Implanted City, and lost by a
large margin to the incumbent
Ruff N. Ready.
Pornogator sources in Im Implanted
planted Implanted City said the former stu student
dent student bod president set up such a
howl after the election that he
had to be impounded all night.

>*
O- ; {
at the
Uniiiersttg
162 C W. UNIVERSITY AVf
CAROLYN PLAZA

OBOGGLE: "WERE NUMBER ONE!

| BOOZE! BOOZE! BOOZE/j|
|SSS=S ¥ * I
... .. .. a

the student body was out drinking
in Gay-nesville the night before
finals week, whereas the entire
student body of Holy Trinity was
completely smashed during finals
week," the article concluded.
UF President: Justice:Mr.:
Stefen C. OBoggle issued a state statement
ment statement Friday to the Pornogator
concerning the article.
"This poll is totally absurd
and ridiculous, he said. "Clay "Clayboy
boy "Clayboy magazine has done this great
institution a serious injustice by

were as uectar to my lips," her
greasy lips trembling in delight.
"Cooked to a turn, the broc broccoli
coli broccoli just seemed to melt in my
mouth," she said, while a crowd
of 3,000-40,000 bystanders nodd nodded
ed nodded their heads in approval.
"Seasoned to perfection and
warmed to meet the standards
of the most exacting connoiseur
the dinner was truly a delight,"
she said while re-entering the
cafeteria for a 23rd serving cour courtesy
tesy courtesy of the University Food Ser Service.
vice. Service.
"I just want to tell you that

Implanted politicos, shrugging
of possible reprisals from Sheep Sheepherder,
herder, Sheepherder, said his bark is worse
than his bite, anyway.
In the meantime, former polit political
ical political enemies in Gay-nesville
said, "We knew he could never
be elected dogcatcher."
Join the
fabulous
48 in 6B

*

ranking it as a second-rate
drinking school. Weve always
been number one have been
for the past 12 years. Why,
we have more drunks on this
campus than any other univer university,
sity, university, in this country as well as
in others," he continued.
"The judges made a grave er error
ror error wben they gave our former
place of honor to Holy Trinity,"
he said. "I just dont understand
it," he said, sipping a bourbon
and water, "I just dont know
why. Its just not fair."

I think it is just marvelous that
such wonderful service is given
behind the counter where no mat matter
ter matter how busy they are the peo people
ple people always have time to ask each
student, May I serve you?,"
she added.
Miss Vasemere then turned to
the table where thousands of
gourmet delicacies awaited her
eager hands.
Hundreds of smiling faces
greeted us as we walked out of
the cafeteria where they were
receiving kind, considerate,
quick service.

- j
Virginia (Wand Franks are:
A. Interviewing an African couple. B. Visiting a Nigerian University.
C. Exchanging ideas with Nigerian University student^.
regular course vvork shipboard campus, the l.s n {iyndarn ,S '* ,he
Virginia and Frank transferred the credits they earned back to their home colleges
Arizona State University and Northern Arizona University, and are going on for their
baccalaureate degrees. Chapman College is currently accepting enrollments for the
1968-1969 academic year with the World Campus Afloat program.
ITINERARIES
. Fall 1968: Dep. New York Oct. 10 for Dublin, London, Copenhagen, Rotterdam, Lisbon,
Rome, Athens, Haifa, Catania, Barcelona, Las Palmas, Freetown, Rio de Janeiro Buenos
Aires, Montevideo, Punta Arenas, Santiago, Lima, Acapulco, arriving Los Angeles Jan 29
Spring 1969: Dep. Los Angeles Feb. 3 for Honolulu, Tokyo, Kobe, Hong Kong Bangkok
Kuala Lumpur, Colombo, Bombay Mombasa, Durban, Cape Town, Dakar, Casablanca,
Cadiz, Lisbon, arriving New York May 27.
The coupon below, if completed and mailed at once, will provide the first step in
reserving space for your fall 1968 and/or spring 1969 semesters with World Campus Afloat
where you can take full advantage of Chapman College s unique three-year experience in
effective teaching aboard ship and in world ports. P n
SSB World Campus Afloat, Director of Admissions please print or type|
I Chapman College Orange. California 92666 ?
I
I Mr.
Miss Mrs DATE 5
I LAST NAME FIRST INITIAL I
i Campus Address Campus I
I State
City 1 State -ZipL_ Campus I
I Phone T
I Name of School
| ~ Year in I
| Academic Major Approx. GPA on 4.0 Scale Schot)l 1 I
I
Home Address_ Age
| C,ty State Zip phone I
| To which address material should be sent: Campus Home Parent or Guardian
j lam interested in Fall Spring Semester 19___ Land Campus Floating Campus ~ |
SAFETY INFORMATION: The s.s. RYNDAM, registered in The Netherlands mept I
International Safety Standards for new ships developed in 1948. d meets I

Page 14

Dean of Men Crank Badmans,
when confronted with the poll
rating, went into a rage and was
unintelligible for six hours. When
he finally regained his composure
he gave his opinion of the validity
of the UF being ranked in second
place. His opinion cannot be
printed here but, in essence,
seemed to indicate that the UF
should have been ranked number
one.
. t
Dean of Women Betyu Costly
said that she had read the arti article
cle article with great interest in her
subscription copy of Clayboy, and
made some old-fashioned, mean meaningless,
ingless, meaningless, inane and archaic com comments
ments comments that are not worth printing
here.

POSTER BLOW-UPS
POSTER BLOW-UPS: From the Poster Palace Put yourself
on a 20*' x 30" poster for just $4.98. Send photo, any size,
any subject with return address and check or money order
for $4.98 to: ROBERT R. FAVORITE PRODUCTIONS, P. O.
Box 10306, Jacksonville, Florida 32207. Prompt return of photo
and poster, money hack guarantee. They*re great!!!
Belles & Beaux Nursery School
1124 N.W. 39th Ave.
Full & Half Day Care
Planned Activities

Phone- 378- 4246 or
372- 3609

, The Florida Pornogator, Monday, April 1, 1968

12,000 UF students picketed
local bars during the weekend
to protest checking of ID's.
We would really drink a lot
more if only they weren't so
strict," one picketer said.
We've lost our number one
rating and this student body just
won't stand for it. Were
sending a petition to Hough,
urging him to reconsider," he
said.
Statement Stands
Did you know that everybody
does it sooner or later? Yes,
morticians report that after
careful study they can say its
true.



Sports Editor Murdered

By DEAL FLANDERS
Pornogator Staff Writer
Gay-nesville police disclosed
Sunday night that they still have
no leads in the brutal murder
of Pornogator Sports Editor Snob
panecky.
Paneckys body was found early
Saturday morning in front of the
PET house. Blood matching that
of Panecky s was also found in
front of a dormitory for athletes.
Preliminary coroners reports
reveal that Panecky apparently
died of massive internal hem hemmoraging
moraging hemmoraging resulting frorq having
been struck repeatedly by a
multi- pointed instrument.
Speculation that the murder
might have been committed by
UF jocks was denied by police,
despite the fact that a shoe with
spikes would fit the shape of
wounds found on Panecky s body.
Police immediately held five
members of PET fraternity for

Grieves Signs
Negro Athlete
By DAVE REDNECK
Pornogator Staff Writer
Rat Black, militant Negro leader, has signed a grant-in-aid
football scholarship with the UF, the Pornogator learned Sunday.
Black is the first man of his race to sign with the Gators.
Weve received a great many complaints about our recruiting
practices this year, said Head Coach Ray Grieves, so we decided
to calm the masses.
After carefully studying the films on the 6 oclock news, we feel
that Black is the man for us, he said.
Hes a real leader, Grieves continued.
Black, standing 55 tall and weighing 105 lbs., admitted that his
football experience is lacking.
Ive never played any organized football before, he said. But
if its anything like street fighting, I should do okay.
They havent told me what position Ill play, said Black. It
might be the guy that throws the ball, I think I could do that with no
trouble, Ive been really practicing hard lately and I can hit a cop,
running at top speed, with a soft drink bottle at 50 yds.
But then I might do better running with the ball, he said, you
should see my broken field running.
played some football he said, The Watts game
was really something, but probably the most exciting of all was the
Chicago game. I scored 15 points on cops alone (5 points per cop),
14 on the National Guard (7 per man) and 40 on white bystanders,
(10 points each) but one of those was called back, the guy was an
undercover man for our side.
When told of Blacks signing, Florida Gov. Claude Quirk had but
one comment.
Welcome to Florida, he said.
With Blacks signing, said Grieves, we will be able to institute
a whole new set of formations, using sweeps and muscle plays up the
middle, with Black carrying the ball.
I guess you could say, he concluded, that well be using a lot
of Black power plays this Fall.
bedspreads
lanterns y
glassware
lamps /
flowers /
danish rugs V
blow-up chairs /X/" X \
leather b.o.c. chairs /Vv / M
fish kites \ /
!
BUTTERFLY CHAIR $12.00
CONTEMPORARY FURNISHING?
ORIGINAL ART AND CERAMICS /
-jfcSM)ESIGK SHOP
3448 W. UNIVERSITY AVENUE 378-5565

questioning, but as of yet, no
charges have been filed.
Unofficial sources state that
several residents of Jock Hail,
unhappy with recent coverage of
sports events by Panecky, might
have conspired to murder him,
thus eliminating the source of
current publicity. Hail residents
reported an unusually' \rge num number
ber number of check-outs by residents
for the weekend.
Paneckys body, bloodspat
tered and heavily punctured by
some instrument, was found in a
wooded area directly across from
the PET house by three uniden unidentified
tified unidentified coeds from nearby Fume
Hall.
Tie first coronoers report
ruled out the use of an icepick
or other such single point, instru instrument
ment instrument due to the uniform depth
and regularity of spacing of the
wounds. The time of death was

Sports Editor Murdered

estimated at between 2 a.m. and
Jxm, Saturday.
It was no secret that the Porno Pornogator
gator Pornogator sports editor was not on
frieu.Vy terms with either
fraternities or athletes. Several
columns Panecky had raised the
ire of fraternities, when Panecky
first did not publish all sports
material submitted by the fra fraternities,
ternities, fraternities, and then, when frater fraternities
nities fraternities charged discrimination,
Panecky answered in his column
that the Fraternities should
grow up.
Athletes too, had disagree disagreements
ments disagreements over Paneckys handling of
basketball games, and his over overemphasis
emphasis overemphasis on the mistakes of the
players. He had received several
verbal lashings during a re recent
cent recent F Club banquet at which
he was invited to speak.
Panecky was last seen by
friends late Friday evening when
he received a telephone call dur during
ing during a party he was attending. Pan Panecky
ecky Panecky left, leaving no word as to
his intended destination.
His car was found Sunday after afternoon
noon afternoon in the parking lot of the
ROTC complex. This would be

Tuesday^^^H
" ALL DAY
Box
60c
J-BOY SANDWICH s&
\ FRENCH FRIES M
SMBbL COLE SLAW
CURB OR CARRY-OUT
W 5 TIL 9 P.M.
Filet of Whitefish
Dinner $1.19
B GENEROUS HELPING OF ..
. -X B WHITEFISH FILETS
FRENCH FRIES
cole slaw
HUSHPUPPIES
ROOM
* curb .;-4laMafrfe'
on ay^^^H,
W 5 TIL 9 P.M.
Spaghetti Dinner
99c
ALL YOU
SERVED IN THE Mm HHHhB
||BBBBBa. candlelit
DINING ROOM
j TWO GAINESVILLE LOCATIONS I
I mmw 2310 S. W. 13th Street
I 1505 N. W. 13th Street I
B\_ u

Monday, April 1, 1968, The Florida Poraogator,

about midway between PET house
and Jock Hall.
As of Sunday night, police had
still not released the five fra fraternity
ternity fraternity members, nor announced
whether they intend to make any
further arrests. Police Chief W.
D. Coiner gave the following
statement Sunday:
As 9 oclock tonight, we
have been unable to establish any
definite leads in the murder of
Snob Panecky. We will not allow
unreliaoie motives to bias our
search for the murderer or mur murderers.
derers. murderers.
F- ' ;
We have not yet found 8 mur murder
der murder weapon or motive strong
enough to substantiate formal
charges. We are presently hold holding
ing holding five members of PET fra fraternity
ternity fraternity for questioning. It should
not be construed that these stu students
dents students will be charged, or have ad admitted
mitted admitted any part in the slaying.
Panecky, 21, was a senior, and
had served as sports editor since
the summer of 1967. No one
has been named to fill his post.
Funeral services will be held
Tuesday, at the Pornogator
office. Burial will be at Florida
Field.

I CAN WIN
IN
FLORIDA
MAY 28
Students
beat LBJ
in New
Hampshire
We can
do it here.
UNIVERSITY
CONCERNED
DEMOCRATS
pd. pol. ad

Page 15



I, The Florida Pornogator, Monday, April 1, 1968

Page 16

UFs Lentz Out
On Arm Injury

By PAUL KAPTN
Pomogator Sports Writer
Floridas grid hopes were
brutally crushed yesterday when
the Gators No. 1 quarterback,
Rarry Lentz was carried off of
the UF practice field with a
broken left arm.
Lentz will definitely miss the
first half of the 1968 football
season, and unless his arm makes
unusually fast progress, he may
not wear a Florida uniform at all
next year.
This really breaks me up,
punned head coach Ray Grieves.
Without Rarry* s services
theres no telling how this team
will perform.
Coincidentally, the man who
broke Lentz arm was Jackie
Ecchdahl, Floridas No. 2 quar quarterback.
terback. quarterback. Ecchdahl kept pleading
for one chance at defensive
tackle, and when he was given
his chance, he blew through the
offensive line and suck his knee
Into Lentz arm who was already
lying on the ground.
This is really horrible, Ec Ecchdahl
chdahl Ecchdahl said smilingly. I guess
that puts me and my rifle-like
arm back in the drivers seat.
Gi'eves disagrees.
Ecchdahl looked so good at
left tackle, that Im making him
my starter at that position,
Grieves n; l d. That means that
Hairy Peacock will be my No. 1
quarterback, and Jim Hardly,
who used to be our left tackle,
will move up to the back-up
quarterback.
Lentz, a senior from Coral
Gables high school, where he
re-wrote the record books was
In a not-too-jovial mood in his
private suite at the J. Hlllis
Miller Health Center.
My million dollar arm hurts
like hell, Rarry said. Lentz
went onto note that without him,
the Gators chances of having
another mediocre season are
very, very slim.
Without me this team will be
mighty short on talent, he ad admitted.
mitted. admitted. I hate to doff my own

FEEL
AFTER YOU LEAVE
THE BOOKSTORES?
The object of every mistake
is not to make it TWICE!
-c
We Sell At Prices
Theookstores Couldnt...
We Buy At Prices
The Bookstores Wouldnt
STUDENT GOVERNMENT
BOOK EXCHANGE
REITZ UNION COLONADE
THROUGH FRIDAY APRIL 5
WILL RE-OPEN AT TERMS END

hat, but Im a pretty valuable
man to have around.
Once again, Grieves disagrees.
Peacock may turn out to be just
the man weve been looking for,
he said. He cant throw real
good, and hes certainly not a
runner, but hes got a lot of
heart.
As for Hardly, the new back backup
up backup man, he has never thrown a
football in his life; but when he
runs, no one gets in his way.
Football Gets
'New Look
Sex will have its day on the
athletic field next year as well
as elsewhere on the dust-cove red
coed campus: three girls have
gone out for the football squad.
The three coeds announced
their intentions as they donned
paisley shoulder pads, mauve
jerseys with fuschia numerals,
and chartreuse pants and pre prepared
pared prepared to head out to the practice
field for scrimmage Saturday.
The prospective gridders are
Baby Bard*':, 2UC, 42-22-37;
Sexy Loren, 3ED, 39-23-38;
and Raquel Welchade, 3FY, 40-
18-39.
The girls described them themselves
selves themselves as real sports, saying
they are willing to give their
male counterparts a little run
for their money.
Lets face it: we might even
liven up the game a little bit,
Miss Bardot said. Those boys
were probably getting a little
tired of bouncing around with that
ugly little piece of pigskin all
the time anyway.
And the coeds say they expect
no competition with the positions
they seek.
They are going out as pass
receivers.

GO GREEK

1859-19 67...108 YEARS YOUNB _m S* Jk M I
Two Convenient Locations E B M
601 S.W. 2 Ave. U I W
lI3OKE i I
mm 59< ib. $1.15 2 Ib. pkg I
' Super Right, Heavy Western I
MiHl STRIP STEAK
SULTANA STRAWBERRY $1.58 ib
PRESERVES I
iooz 29$ Super Heav y Wesfem
RIB STEAK
13 oz Can 59< <-> $ Q,
ANN PAGE ORANGE I
TIDE DETERGENT I
Red, Delicious I
"4$ Off Label OQA STRAWBERRIES
Large Size # \ | 3 ft qq I
NUTLEY OLEO SOLIDS f-* sweet
1 lb. /AJP CARROTS I
Limit 4 with I f 2 Ib. Bag 25$
$5 o 00 order / I
BAKERY POTATOES
JANE PARKER ,o ,b. E a 59<
CINNAMON ROLLS I
JELLY TOP SWEET ROLLS ORANGES I
PINEAPPLE TOP SWEET ROLLS 5 Ib. Bag 59< I
3 /SI.OO A&P FROZEN I
donutT ORANGE JUICE
< 4 i*/ 4 =- 89(
CINNAMON (12oz)
2/45{ CRISCO OIL I
JANE PARKER 48 oz I
BLACKBERRY PIE /ft A
39< II