Citation
The Florida alligator

Material Information

Title:
The Florida alligator
Alternate title:
Summer school news
Alternate title:
University of Florida summer gator
Alternate title:
Summer gator
Alternate Title:
Daily bulletin
Alternate Title:
Orange and blue daily bulletin
Alternate Title:
Orange and blue bulletin
Alternate Title:
Page of record
Place of Publication:
Gainesville Fla
Publisher:
the students of the University of Florida
Publication Date:
Frequency:
Daily except Saturday and Sunday (Sept.-May); semiweekly (June-Aug.)[<1964>-1973]
Weekly[ FORMER 1912-]
Weekly (semiweekly June-Aug.)[ FORMER <1915-1917>]
Biweekly (weekly June-Aug.)[ FORMER <1918>]
Weekly[ FORMER <1919-1924>]
Weekly (daily except Sunday and Monday June-Aug.)[ FORMER <1928>]
Semiweekly[ FORMER <1962>]
Weekly[ FORMER <1963>]
daily
normalized irregular
Language:
English
Physical Description:
v. : ; 32-59 cm.

Subjects

Subjects / Keywords:
Newspapers -- Gainesville (Fla.) ( lcsh )
Newspapers -- Alachua County (Fla.) ( lcsh )
Genre:
newspaper ( marcgt )
newspaper ( sobekcm )
Spatial Coverage:
United States -- Florida -- Alachua -- Gainesville
Coordinates:
29.665245 x -82.336097

Notes

Dates or Sequential Designation:
Vol. 1, no. 1 (Sept. 24, 1912)-v. 65, no. 74 (Jan. 31, 1973).
General Note:
Summer issues also called: Summer school ed., <1915>-1920 and again in 1923; summer issues also called: Summer ed., <1921>.
General Note:
Has occasional supplements.
Funding:
Funded by Van Dyke Endowment for the Libraries in support of teaching, research, acquisitions, preservation and programs in the Libraries

Record Information

Source Institution:
University of Florida
Holding Location:
University of Florida
Rights Management:
Copyright The Independent Florida Alligator. Permission granted to University of Florida to digitize and display this item for non-profit research and educational purposes. Any reuse of this item in excess of fair use or other copyright exemptions requires permission of the copyright holder.
Resource Identifier:
000972808 ( ALEPH )
01410246 ( OCLC )
AEU8328 ( NOTIS )
sn 96027439 ( LCCN )

Related Items

Preceded by:
Orange and blue
Succeeded by:
Independent Florida alligator

Full Text
* ALBERT IS PREGNANT

iBK %ir
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iML h Hi
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ALBERT: HOME FOR UN-WED GATORS-BOUND

WhoneedsSunnySands
We got WauburgU

By NUMMY GREATWHITE.
Our Man From Sunny Sands
(EDITOR'S NOTE: As all good
'Gator readers know, Camp Wau Wauburg,
burg, Wauburg, the UF's renowned recrea recreation
tion recreation resort, defrocked a couple
of days ago and is now a full fullfledged
fledged fullfledged nudist retreat for all good
Gators. Following is an off-the off-thecuff,
cuff, off-thecuff, off-the-shoulder, off-the off-theeverything
everything off-theeverything interview conducted by
our reported-in-the-raw, Nummy
Great white.)
NUMMYDr. Waynerites, what
do you think of Camp Wauburg
baring itself to the public?
DR. WWell, Num, I would say
it's more than like the public
baring itself to Camp Wauburg.
But I get your point. Oh, It's a
wonderful thing. We tore at the
UF believe in free expression,
and I can't think of anything FREER
than this!

THE FLORIDA

Vol. 57, No. 126 (possibly the lost edition of the year)

NUMMYTeII me, sir, why are
you wearing that orange and blue
Fightin' Gator cheerleader mega megaphone
phone megaphone around your neck?
DR. W.Well, Num, unlike Peter
Sellers, I didn't have a guitar.
NUMMYI see. Did the idea
for denuding Camp Wauburg come
from the now-infamous Alligator
column of several weeks back?
DR. W.No. Num, actually the
family and I have felt this way
for years. That's why we grew
the shrubbery so high in the back
yard. Now we've decided to let
the world share our fun with us.
NUMMYThank you. Goodbye,
sir. Keep cool. Oh, here's
Bruise Codpopper, president of
the student body. Hi Bruise.
BRUISEA great student gov government
ernment government deserves a great student's
body.
NUMMYWhy do you keep say saying

INQUIRIGATOR

ing saying that, Bruise?
BRUISESimple, Ace. Did you
ever see a greater student's body
than this one? Talk about being
in shape, man. Look at these
pecs. 'Ja'ever see anything so
great?
NUMMYYou obviously haven't
noticed Miss U of F. Tell me,
Bruise, why are you overdress
in comparison to everyone else?
BRUISEWeII, gosh-all-Gator,
pal, you wouldn't expect me to
leave the trademark of my office
behind, would you?
NUMMYWeII, no, not since
that Peel cover. See you around.
Oh, here's Miss U of F now.
Hello, good looking*. Whats on
YOUR mind (pant, pant)?
MISSUFBoIIy gee, I'm just
wondering how I'll ever climb
back into a formal up at Atlantic
See WAu&URG, Page 9

Thursday, April U-No-What, 1965, no kiddin 1

UF gator
is disgraced

By WHY KNOTT
Albert the Alligator is pregnant,
informed sources told the
Inquiragator yesterday.
The sources, who refused to be
identified, said Albert has been
pregnant for two months. They said
a hush-hush, high level conference
of UF administrators a week ago
decided that the animal should be
sent to a home for un-wed gators
as soon as possible/
UF officials, for the most part,
refused comment yesterday.
Frank T. Adamns, dean of men,
left word with his secretary that
he had absolutely nothing to
say to any Inquirigator reporters.
' Dean of Student Affairs
Lestereye Hall admitted a secret
meeting, but said it was only to
discuss the distribution of honor
happles.
I am referring all questions
to Dr. Unquotable Hall of the UF
infirmary.
We have had no pregnant alli alligator
gator alligator in the UF infirmary, Hall
said. Hall admitted that Albert
was in the infirmary a week ago,
but only for a light case of the
German Measles, he said.
I dont think this is the kind
of thing that belongs in a student
newspaper, commented Albert
himself. Albert, for the most part,
spent a restless day, and several
Campus Police were dispatched to
ward off curiosity seekers from
his cage.
One of the policemen was heard

H '-W : > 41 h ~*t \ i r j 4 *. /'V** r*- **
UNIDENTIFIED WAUBURG BATHER

to ask his mate what pregnant
means.
UF president Jay Wainerities is
in Swazeeland on an exchange pro program
gram program and unavailable for com ment.
Campus Police Chief Audible
Shooler said no incideftts around
Alberts cage have been reported
lately, except that a lady was
seen there selling ice cream on
several occasions two months ago.
Student response was mostly
shock and disbelief.
I just cant see how Albert
can do this to us, said one coed
with tears streaming down her
cheeks.
Albert did look pretty horny
last time I saw him, said a 2UC*
Student Body President Bruce
Bellpepper said he has nothing
to say until 1 talk to Coach Melvin
about this.
Bellpepper also emphasized that
he is not a dumb jock.
Meanwhile in Tallahassee, Gov.\
Haydon Burns said if Albert is
actually pregnant he will throw a
series of statewide charity balls
to raise a trust fund for the ihfant
Alligator.
This would never have
happened with MY Board of Re Regrets,
grets, Regrets, said Ex-Gov. Farris
Wheel. We also need more roads
into Ocala, he added.
Other politico comment came
from defeated gubernatorial can-
See DISGRACED we're not
sure where so you'll have to
look for it. Rpts'a'fuckl



? The Florida April 1, 1965

Page 2

Nikolai Lenin
cant speak here
The UF Student Revolutionary Party had demanded that Nikolai
Lenin be admitted to the UF campus as a speaker.
Initial reaction of the UF administration to Lenins possible appearance
here was total panic. Tiger Hall was closed tight. Contacted at his
home, Dr. Unquotable Hall of the UF infirmary said Lenin has not
been accepted here in the recent past. His tendency for German
Measles would certainly warrant his staying off the UF campus, he
said.
Objectives of the Revolutionary party have thus far been picketing
of the football team, poisoning of Honor Apples, and abolition of
showers* and barbershops within a 40-niile radius of Gainesville.
Faculty adviser Ed Agitatoricher said if Lenin is not allowed to
come here he will annoint himself with gasoline and burn himself
to death on the Plaza of the Americas in protest.
Meanwhile, Action Party candidate Freddy Forceforchangelane claimed
Lenin was Only a put-up candidate to split his vote.
And Ive got a tape in the original Russian to prove it, he claimed.
I have nothing to say until I talk to Coach Melvin, said Progress
Party candidate Bruce Bellpepper.
When qontacted in Moscow, Lenin himself said, **..Xopom6, nepT
3a no6epH!
Asked about the political significance of a Lenin visit here, Pro Professor
fessor Professor John C. Calhoun of the Political Science Dept, said, If we are
led to believe that whereas there are the usual political ramifications
of such a significant event, then we must pursue the ultimate agree agreement
ment agreement that there are no other factions or factors to be considered in
rational thinking; or, as it has been a foregone conclusion that all
of this is relative,, there will be a test on this Wednesday.

CBS buys Kops
The Columbia Broadcasting Sys System
tem System has bought the exclusive,
rights to the Kampus Kops for a
new TV series of the dame name,
according to some geech in a
button-down collar and weejuns.
The Kops will be the stars of a
weekly situation comedy series
which will deal with such basic
issues as the effectiveness
of Cushman Scooters, raiding of
AAUP banquets, and breaking up
Freedom Forum demonstrations.
The first show will deal with the
Escapades of Fink McGoon who
singlehandedly broke up a plot to
kidnap the IBM m achine by Florida
Atlantic administrators for their
own university. Fink subse subse
subse quently died of an ingrown hair.

TIRED...of raving professors?
TIRED...of lousy folk singers?
TIRED...of meaningless pickets?
TRY RESPONSIBILITY
FOR A CHANGE

I barf? -4
Agitatoricher gets
honorary doctorate
Edward Agitatoricher, UF humanities in instructor,
structor, instructor, was granted an honorary doctorate
degree today by Havana University in Havana,
Cuba.
Fidel El Tonto, president of Havana Univer University,
sity, University, announced the honor early this morning
as said that they choose Agitatoricher because
of his outstanding work in this field.
The Inquirigator contacted Agitatoricher at
an ice cream parlor and he said he was very
distressed by the honor.
What if I have to stay at this lousy UF another
year, he asked.

69 boys molested
returning to dorms

By STREET WALKER
Sixty-nine boys have been at attacked
tacked attacked and molested on their way
home from the library during the
past two weeks, Dean Marinated
Brandy reported yesterday.
Miss Brandy said that a num number
ber number of boys have become so emo emotionally
tionally emotionally upset by the attacks that
they dropped out of school. She
declined to give the names of the
boys involved, but said that many
of them were minors and threatened
to throw the UF catalog at the
girls if they were caught.
Miss Brandy said that five or
six girls were involved in the
attacks which occurred about
10:20 a.m. at night as the boys
were hurrying to meet their 10:30
p.m. curfew.
My goodness, a few boys were
even late to their dorms, Miss
Brandy whispered in a horrified
tone.
The Inquirigator contacted one of
the girls supposedly involved and
she agreed to talk to us if we
didn't reveal her name.
Just say Im one of the Bro Broward
ward Broward 'girls and theyll know what
you mean, she quipped.
She said that she believed that
all people should be judged equally
on merit as to their entrance to
the UF and not on their face or
sex. She organized the rest of
the girls to protest the unfair
ratio of boys to girls on the UF
campus.
I dont see any difference be between
tween between boys and us, she said.
After all, we are both equally
equipped for college life, she
added.
Dean Fester J. Hailstones said
that the administration couldnt see
any connection between the attacks
and the rumored cases of ath athletes
letes athletes foot on the campus.
After all, its boys who have
been attackednot feet, Hail Hailstones
stones Hailstones mused.
Doctor Unquotable Hall said

there have been no boys in the
Florida Infirmary in the past few
weeks. He refused to com ment about

Should Tigert
be abolished?

Student Mouse Pres. Smiley
Bullpepper yesterday announced
that he and Treasurer Pockets Pocketsfull
full Pocketsfull Cheesecake are going to con conduct
duct conduct a poll on whether Tigert
Hall and the Administration should
be abolished.
Pres. Bullpepper said, A great
university demands a great stu student
dent student governmentand I mean ALL
government.
Bullpepper also announced the
appointment of Frank Gleen as
head of an orientation program
which will incorporate an activated
UF ROTC command to insure stu student
dent student rights and preventjiiscrim preventjiiscriminatory

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the reports of athletes foot and
said he isn't no foot doctor any anyhow.
how. anyhow.

inatory preventjiiscriminatory activities by the Admin Administration.
istration. Administration.
Gleen reached late last night
with co-workers Bill Hop along and
By-by Grooves said that All I
want is a sort of policing squad
to handle the Sigma Nus. They
jumped you know and weve got
to keep them in line.
Grooves started to commented
by saying, Our overall plan is
to take over the university within
a third of a trimester, he was
interuppted however when Gleen
pulled out his plug.



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RUN FOR YOUR LIVES

A deadly trimonster
has been stalking the
UF campus for the past
24 hours. His origin
is unknown, but he is
reported to have en entered
tered entered Gainesville from
the vicinity of Talla Tallahassee.
hassee. Tallahassee.
The monster has
been accused of such
deeds as devouring in-
and killing ed education.!
ucation.! education.! He can be ap appeased

Amoebic dysentery hits Graham Area
\ *

By SCOTT TISSUE
UF students \are dropping like
flies, the campus has been quaran quarantined
tined quarantined and all food supplies are
being airlifted ir as a result of
the devasting outbreak of amoebic
dysentery that been traced to
Graham Area Snacl\ Bar.
Hie going black-market rate on a

W
v m HU
mi
. .the dreaded evidence

O range and Blue
Bulletin banned
By PONTIAS PILATE
The UF Board of Stupid Publications censored the Wednesdays
issue of the Orange and Blue Bulletin in a meeting behind closed
doors that was attended by approximately 1,000 students from the
Animal Husbandry Laboratory.
The Board claimed that the bulletin had violated its charter which
specifically said that no more thah .00038956% of the content may
be allocated to campus humor and pointed to the following ad an an
of such violation: Lost--one pair of dice. See Saul Maverick
at the TEP House.
Furthermore, the bulletin had failed to print all of the letters to
the editor it had received in the past two weeks, and the board termed
this act an instance of editorial irresponsibility.
Dr. Unquottable Hall of the UF infirmary said that there have
been no Orange and Blue Bulletins in the UF infirmary in the recent'
past.
Who reads the Orange and Blue Bulletin anyway, said one faculty
member.
**l never heard of it, said another.

peased appeased only by IBMI
cards and more roadsl
into Ocala. He can bel
killed only by State!
Road Board investiga-|
tions and reapportion-!
merit* |
1
As the monster]
threaded his way|
around campus this]
morning, he was heard|
to utter: Pm an all-1
Florida monster.

six-ounce bottle of Kaopectate is
$7.50. This remedy is obtainable
upon presentation of a valid student
IJ). card at room 305, Florida
Union.
Dr. Unquotable Hall said there
has been no amoebic dysentery in
the UF Infirmary in the recent past.
The dysentery epidemic was first
discovered among members of

; ~

Freedom Forum who ate at Graham
Area Snack Bar while protesting
the refusal of the area rag, the
Graham Cracker, to print their
letters-to-the-editor.
We shall overcome our present
dilemna and as soon as the Kao Kaopectate
pectate Kaopectate begins to take affect, we
plan to stage a stand-in at the
Infirmary and demand that the
staff print our letters -to the
doctors on the daily temperature
charts, said an unidentified beard
yesterday.
Unofficial estimates place the
number of cases on campus at
around 14,000. Os the students who
as yet have not contracted the
disease, three have consented to
distribute bottles of Kaopectate at
the assigned room on the third
floor of the FU. The rest of the
still-healthy UF student body was
seen fumigating the Main Cafeteria
with masks over their mouths.

NO CURFEW
TONIGHT
There will be no girls cur curfew
few curfew tonight in honor of the
suggestion posed by Ed Agi Agitatoricher
tatoricher Agitatoricher to see if Florida
girls need this stipulation by
the administration.
Girls must adhere to one
rule however; They must sign
out, include their escorts
name, their address and des destination.
tination. destination.
These sign-outs will be
throoughly checked and of offenders
fenders offenders will be brought be befor
for befor Hall Council.
This story was supposed
to come down to here
but Vaughn blew 11

April The One, 1695, The Florido Ohmygator, 3 Down, 13 To Go

TYPICAL
REACTION:
. .barf

/jp
Old apples
really reek
Mrs. Barbara Lean, secretary of the honor
court said today that she is tired of all the
stolen honor apples that are being held for
evidence in her safe. I have been working in
the Honor Court for three years and have never
had so many apples. This is a true sign of the
mounting number of cases, ** Mrs. Lean said.
Although this large amount of evidence shows
the efficiency of the new Honor Court, I am
getting fed up with the stench! said Mrs. Lean.
Sometimes the apples lay around for two or three
months, and this created quite a hardship on
the efficiency of the office.
If this problem is not cleared up soon,
we will have to stop taking on new cases of
apple thefts,* Mrs. Lean explained.

wmrnmmmmmtmxm
didate Charles Folley.
I suspect Gov. Burns is behind
this, he said. It was probably
financed by his bank account in
Nassau. This is all a vicious plot
to increase the alligator population
and turn them on the Republicans
in this state.
Interfraternity Council presi president
dent president Jim Houser said just because
we're Greeks doesn't mean we'd
do domething like that," when
rumors began that UF fraternities
were involved in the pregnancy.
\ +



the Florida alligator, tfiursday, opril 1, 1965 archie

Page 4

THE FLORIDA
ffigl INQUIRIGATOR
Served By United Press International
TALL DRAFT
' SCHLIT2 UTTLE STEVIE WONDER _THE WOP
PACIFIER MANAGING CENSOR. EXECUTIVE
EXTERMINATOR
LOU FARCE NOTHIN* MORE
RIGHTWING EDITOR ~~ LEFT FIELD EDITOR
__

MOTTO
(ALL THE NEWS THAT WE THINK IS FIT, WE PRINT)
SMASHED GURGLE
By (ron) CUSPID (lUC), a resident of South
111 smashed all known records on the eve
of March 29, 1965 when he successfully ended
up chewing 50 sticks of Wrigleys spearmint!
gum at the end of a 25 minute time limit, i
His manager, Sadie Istick (lUC) supplied the j
gum. Unfortunately Cuspid swallowed tne whole
wad of gum.
Witnessed:
In (gmar) CISOR
ED. NOTE: Were all choked up.
Dont Make Me Laugh
(MY LIPS ARE CHAPPED)
EDITOR: (Re: Not So Funny in Tuesdays
ACT I, SCENE 3 (as near nothing as scene 2)
LOCATION: Freedonia, Ala.
PLAYERS:
Zeke A 220 lb. redneck sheriff
Beauty A 230 lb. typical Florida coed.
Barney A skinny deputy
Mixed Mob
Beauty (wearing a blue FWF sweatshirt)
Sheers, give us the keys to the Outhouse.
Sheriff: You mean to the courthouse,, dont
you?
BEAUTY: No, I mean to the outhouse. Where
do you think this movement started?
SHERIFF: I have here a Federal court
order banning further demonstrations.
BEAUTY (POUTING PRETTILY): Whatdoes
an old Federal court know? We have our rights.
I dont want to be LEFT out.
SHERIFF: Look Miss, why dont you go back
, to dear old U of F?
BEAUTY: I dont go to U of F.
SHERIFF: Then what does FUF stand for.
BEAUTY: Flunked U of F. The administra administration
tion administration totally unapproachable. Besides, you have to
study.
(AT THIS moment the mixed mob begins to
mutter.)
Two. .Four. .Six. .Eight
We dont want to intergrate.
BEAUTY: fee, those rabblerousers dont
want to intergrate with Negroes.
DEPUTY: Theyre not Calking about Negroes.
They dont want to mix* with you.
BEAUTY (Shoving deputy down and stepping
over his sprawled body):
Students are not having a normal sex
life. Im burning up.
Red Neckulous

R

STUDENT GOVERNMENT PROGRESS REPORT

<
fi
K

(ED. NOTE: IN keeping with
our policy to give a fair and
accurate place on our pages for
valid crlUcism of the editorial
page, we have rendered an UN UNBIASED
BIASED UNBIASED judgment on the volum voluminous
inous voluminous letters we have received and
have decided to print the letters
that follow because the editors
think these letters fairly and ac accurately
curately accurately represent those points of

EDITOR:
WE THE UNDERsigned would
like to take strong issue with your
editorial on SELMA, ALA. Has
it ever occurred to you that even
though a person has never been to
Selma, he may write authoritatively
on the subject? Apparently it has
occurred to you cause you did


Gracious
EDITOR:
I AM FROM Micanopy and I
have a teenager in attendance at the
University. It is high time that
the Alligator looked into a situation
which I think is not only disgusting,
but down-right lewd.
MY DAUGHTER wrote home to
Caleb (my husband, that is) and
me and said that this years grad graduation
uation graduation ceremony, the UF is allowing
boy and girl students to MATRIC MATRICULATE
ULATE MATRICULATE TOGETHERright in
front of everyone.
WHAT*S MORE, Jeremiah (thats
my son-we call him Jer for short)
tells me, he goes to the UF too,
that the professors are allowed
to DISCOURSE with young girls,
in front of the whole class. And
to top that, my daughter tells me
that men professors make the girls
show their THESIS in front of the
whole class. Also we hear that
everyone is allowed to us the same
CURRICULUM facilities.
Now we want you all to make
them people put a stop to all them
goings on. What will you do about
it?
An IRATE parent
ED. NOTE: We*re sorry, but were
afraid you caught us with our
PROSTHESIS showing.
We ran out

fiWEETY, HOW YOU LIKE DAT DER MUSCLE?"
"KEYS, KEYS,
BLUE KEYS

SOREHEADS WRITE-IN

A Strong Dissent on
the SELMA editorial

view generally expressed In all
those letters weve received.
It will appear obvious to our
readers that we have not flinched
in our duty to print those letters
which may not be favorable to our
editorials.
Notwithstanding the fact that
many people think we have not been
doing too good a job in putting

just thatand that wasnt too bad
after all.
ON THE OTHER hand, we also
take issue with the fact that a
man may make a fair judgment of
the situation and not be labeled
a racist. It just cant be. Anyone
who keeps his head when all about
him are losing theirs will surely

Smarty
EDITOR:
I AM fat and ugly and besides
that I have a 3.999 average and made
Phi Beta Kappa this year, and no
one will ask me for a date. Why?
Glory Grunch
ED. NOTE: Because you have a
3.999.
oww
EDITOR:
WITH THE sudden explosions of
sit-ins of Freedom Forum mem members,
bers, members, I would like to bring to light
( in more ways than one) the
continuing lie-ins prevalent in the
Broward Mallory tennis court
area. Just what these liers -in
are demonstrating is obscure to all
but the BLUSHING coeds who tra traverse
verse traverse the course from sorority
row to their dorm in twilight or
dark.
IF THE ALLIGATOR finds it
difficult to work with demonstrat demonstrators
ors demonstrators sitting on their desks, you
should try to work with demon demonstrators
strators demonstrators lying all over the grass!
THE SITUATION, while em embarassing,
barassing, embarassing, is dangerous to Flori Florida's
da's Florida's fresh young coedswho face
the danger of becoming fallen
women. The obstacle COURSE is
becoming harder to cross.
STUDENT government has sug suggested
gested suggested lights for the walk between
the library and the women's
dormsperhaps lights here, not
to discourage the couples, but to
help the single coeds make their
way through the masses of people
would be one solution. Then again
a cactus garden might beautify
the area considerably.
Rebbeca Righteous
ED. NOTE: OUCH

out a daily STUDENT newspaper
we would also like to take thil
opportunity to pat ourselves on the
back not a little bit for the fin,
performance we all have turned ti
this year.
We haven't turned in very muci
worthwhile news copy but wevi
turned in a heUava good perform performance.)
ance.) performance.)

must be sane.
WELL, anyway, we do have one
serious point to disagree with you
on, we think you were unjust in
printing that Selma editorial when
you did.
YOU SHOULD HAVE RUN IT
EARLIER.
The Dissenters


So are we
EDITOR:
I WANT TO COMPLAIN about an
art course I am taking. I have at attended
tended attended the course for about three
weeks and in every test I have
made a D. I have painted land landscape
scape landscape scenes, bowls of fruit and
three sailing vessels. But the prof
says that everything I paint looks
like something real. He says good
painting can't be something. It's
got to be something like no one has
ever seen. So the other day I
accidently dripped some paint on
a canvas and the prof walked by,
stopped, and exclaimed like how it
was the greatest thing hed ever
seen.
SO NOW I turn in a canvas
every week (I wipe my brushes
on these canvases) and I have been
making A's ever since.
But there is one thing I dont
understand why does my prof
consider a painting of nothing so
awfully terrifAc?
* Cary Confused
ED. NOTE: Because obviously
nothing is better than something
you feel. Keep up the good work.
of letters



EDITOR:
- M
Dr. Hall
Student Infirmity
EDITOR:
Since you guys refuse to print
my letters to the editor, Pm going
to print them myself in book form.
Bill Shakespeare, lUC

Faded flickers
Local re-runs spur
mass nausea attacks

By JON DEMENTED
Artist
The Suburbia Drive-In, in keep keeping
ing keeping with their policy of catering to
the discriminating moviegoer with
such outstanding hits as Pro Promises,
mises, Promises, Promises (La Mansfield),
3 Nuts in Search of a Bolt
(La Van Doren), Lust Motel,
and IPs Whats up front that
Counts, is presenUng an equally
provocative April Fools show, THE
WORLD'S MOST AMAZING AT ATTRACTION
TRACTION ATTRACTION THE TRIPLE SHOW
WITH THE TRIPLE IMPACT!!
Three count 'em Three
ABNORMAL ADULT SHOWS. You
have to admire the Suburbia for
ignoring public opinion and con consistently
sistently consistently offering us such daring
m aterial, such controversial

&
tr&
%&
W*Cj4
m
'* k Vk<
SYWWk \ \
(Cont'd. somewhere upthere)

Friends replya

EDITOR:
I think that Dean Holy Graile
is absolutely right about the New
Orange Peel.
It is dirty.
Don Fedderduster
Editor
EDITOR:"
I got this itch that the Student
Infirmity says is the German Mea Measles,

topics such garbage.
Hit #1 was TORN FROM THE
PAGES OF THE BOOK OF LIFE!
A bombshell of truth, even. This
one, subtley entiUed SOULS OF
SIN, was a sensitive, searching,
at times beautiful, story of female
victims of society, flung by socio sociological
logical sociological forces they didn't under understand
stand understand into sociological nests of
inquity.
A powerful sociological study,
and very, very psychological, be besides.
sides. besides. This film really made me
stop and think think of why in
the world did I break my vow of
never going to these things again.
Hit #2 was advertised as
HUMAN, CLEAN, MORAL, EDU EDUCATIONAL!
CATIONAL! EDUCATIONAL! So I went up to the
refreshment stand and got a large
grape, a gator-chile-kraut gator-chile-krautdog,
dog, gator-chile-krautdog, and a Forever Yours, and

Ferris fan club

To* U*. \r/9*}> stfWV^
mmmmmmrnmmmmm^mmmmmmmm ' ' ''' i
Steak
Migkt
Large Del Monico,
THURSDAY Baked Potatoes,
. Tossed Salad,
STEAK NIGHT P.M. Hot Button Roll*
$1.07
HUMPTY DUMPTY
Drive-In A Restaurant
EVERY DAY, GOOD HOME-COOKED MEALS
372-5387 310 NW 13th St.

sles, Measles, but I know it aint.
It's from me eating strawberries
in the Campus Club.
Why do they keep refusing to
face facts.
Minnie Merman, 3AS
EDITOR:
Call the Campus Cops! There's
someone in my room trying to
kill. .

chatted with a British exchange
student who had busted his buns
on Med Center Hill while protest protesting
ing protesting Brazilian Week a few days
earlier.
The high point of Hit #3 was when
a coed flashed a Bite the Bag
sign on the screen, as well as
some amusing but crude hand ges gestures.
tures. gestures. Entitled MALE AND FE FEMALE
MALE FEMALE it was difficult for me to
concentrate on it from the beginn beginning.
ing. beginning. First because I had already
seen it in eighth grade science
class, second because it was
mostly about the correct strokes of
brushing your teeth and the im importance
portance importance of using a non-irritating
deodorant, and mainly because a
large portion of the audiance were
blowing their horns and chasing a
man around screaming, Kill the
manager, spill his b100d...

1 April, Mon, This Year, Cool 'Gator, Like, Ptage Fiver/ Hit Me

See What's Newln
The Browse Shop
ALL ABOUT PSYCHOANALYSIS... Jos. Rosner
CHRIST & FREUD Arthur Guirdha
ALL ABOUT PSYCHOANALYSIS... Jos. Rosner
CHRIST & FREUD. Arthur Guirdham
WALDEN TWO B.F. Skinner
WHAT IS A TEACHER? Henry Simon
, SHARK ....Thomas Helm
THE WORLD OF NITROGEN.. .Isaac Asimov
THE SMUGGLER lan Fleming
TECHNICAL & REFERENCE
REFERENCE DATA FOR RADIO ENGINEERS
THERMO -ELASTICITY Nowacki
COUNTER EXAMPLES IN ANALYSIS
...Gelbaum & Olmsted
Cowpos Shop 4 Bookstore

By Bucky Beaver
RODENT
During the Fall Trimester, the
Alligator waged a campaign asking
for equal seating at football games.
The Editor at the time, Squaker
Blunder, waged his one-man war
almost in vain in an attempt to do
away with privileged seating 1 for
SG politicoes at football games.
This trimester, Editor Dirty
Ernie Litz has made no attempt
at any such campaign, thus far,
especially since theres nothing
to see.

However, the time has come
for the Alligator to protest a
different type of privileged seating,
a much more personal type that
strikes deep in the hearts of all
UFers.
It has come to the attention of
the Alligator that the SG offices
on the third floor are equipped
with Mens and Ladies rest rooms.
The Alligator offices, in the base basement
ment basement of that same Florida Union
have no rest rooms.
We of the Alligator staff work
just as hard as the people who

spend their time on the third floor.
We see no reason why the SG
politicoes should only have to walk
a few feet for rest room seating,
while we of the Alligator staff
have to go up numerous flights of
stairs for rest room seating.
WE PROTEST SUCH PRIV PRIVILEGED
ILEGED PRIVILEGED SEATING FOR POLITI POLITICOES.
COES. POLITICOES. WE OF THE ALLIGATOR
STAFF DEMAND THAT WE BE
GRANTED EQUAL SEATING
PRIVILEGES.
We demand a toilet to be placed
immediately in the basement near
the Alligator office.
We admit that politicians usually

have pull around the university
administration committee in
charge of toilet placement; how however,
ever, however, we think that the Alligator
staff works hard enough to de deserve
serve deserve immediate placement of a
toilet near enough to avoid ac accidents.
cidents. accidents.
According to the Bored of Stu Stupid
pid Stupid Publications Statistics Chair Chairman,
man, Chairman, the Alligator loses valuable
time each day because the staffers
must run so far to reach the
toilet on the third floor.
WE DEMAND A TOILET NEAR
THE ALLIGATOR OFFICE. WE
DEMAND EQUAL SEATING^

Sit-in threatened
Staff demands equal seating



Page Six

, Go Directly To Jail, Do Not Pass Go, Do Not...

I SPENT
A NIGHT
IN THE
NHRMQrY
AND LIVED!
MmmmmMmmmmimMmmmmMmM
1 iH
' > 1 ih
I
H !§
)£§9&. :>:' ky
A ¥ W .M
. '*' &.
- f Jfe : 9Hfc-bF .'BP
- 1: *, ' -Hf "*& ssst w
JBf* ayjfr **
' jPpv :N y
MINNIE THE MERMAID
.with friend
Will Minnie
come to UF ?
Attempts are being made to secure Minnie
the Mermaid for a Lyceum Council presentation,
according to some broad from the Lyceum
Council.
I believe Minnie would put on a genuinely
rewarding show, she said.
She said the only difficulty she sees in pro procuring
curing procuring Minnie is the problem of arranging a
date into the Mermaids busy schedule.
When contacted by the Inquirigator, Minnie
said Let it all hang out. Id be proud to appear
there. I love an academic climate.
Minnies possible performance was readily
endorsed by UF officials, who inquiredyabout
when the ticket window would probably open.
Minnie has recently concluded an exclusive
tour of engagements which included the White
House, the Florida Legislature, Parkers Barbe Barbecue
cue Barbecue and the TEP house. She is the star of 69
domestic movies.

By BEAR ASPIRIN
I awoke in the middle of the
night and my eyelids were still
heavy with the pentothal. Groggily
I tried to rub my eyes with my
hands to clear my vision; but it
was no use they were still burned
from the shock treatment. Finally,
my head cleared and I saw a huge
shape hovering over the bed in the
darkness.
Roll ovah, honey its timefo'
yo* penicillin shot/ the shape
said, and suddenly two eyes
appeared in the darkness.
Penicilin that's how all this
had started the morning before
when I had come to the UF Infir Infirmary
mary Infirmary for treatment for German
measels.
I entered the front door to find
no one there it was 8:30 and the
d . n place desn't open till 9:30.
I waited in the bushes outside
of Dr. Unquoteable Halls window
the bushes had berries on them
so no one saw me.
The rash was getting pretty bad badspots
spots badspots were breaking out all over.
Finally I got inside and waited
another 15 minutes to get my
folder.
With the folder underneath my
arm I slowly crawled to the nearest
doctor's office for an interview.
The doctor listened to my plight
but insisted that I did not have
the German measles he had
broken his glasses while giving a
penicillin shot and besides he
was color blind.
The examination took another
two hours during which time Ed
Agitaturicher came in and insisted
on sitting in during the examina examination
tion examination he insisted it was his free freedom
dom freedom to do so.
By this time the rash was getting
pretty bad and the good doctor
insured me that I would receive
immediate treatment. He gave in instructions
structions instructions to his nurse, Miss
What the Hell are you
doing here, for a series of pen penicillin
icillin penicillin shots. You can imagine the
response from myself. Penicillin
shots are not the normal remedy
for measels at least that's what
I thought.
The next thing I knew three sit sitiners
iners sitiners from Frreeddom Forem
grabbed me and put me in a straight
jacket. They put me in a grocery
basket and wheeled me down to the
elevator inside was the green
giant he's suffering from mal malnutrition
nutrition malnutrition because of Food Service.
The green giant looked at me and
laughed You're going to enjoy
this," he said.
The next thing I knew I was on
fourth floor of Tigert hall next to
I speak-for-the-administration
Hall's office." Inside was a room
filled with at least 200 fellow
students all were in a rash and all
had measels.
I was wheeled into a smaller
room just inside Dr. Unquoteable
No more classes?
UF classes have been canceled
for today and may not re-con re-convene
vene re-convene ever again, according to some
bureaucrat from Tigert Hall.
Classes ain't no big thing,
anyhow, said one Tigert official.
Tigert was taken over yester yesterday
day yesterday by Freedom Party. In a vic vicious
ious vicious struggle on the Hall steps,
Ed Agitatorricher, leader of the
pace, pronounced himself Sav Savior
ior Savior of the World" and screaming
this at the top of his lungs, flung
himself through the thick glass
doors.
UF administrators were so alar alarmed
med alarmed at these proceedings that
they fled to nearby Teds, where
they are reported running the UF
in exile.
There were no official reports
from Ted's. One administrator
wandered out somewhat drunk,
however. He was not identified.

Halls office. There stood Ed Agi Agitatoricher
tatoricher Agitatoricher again "lm for free freedom
dom freedom he said. He turned and looked
toward Dr. Unquoteable Hall who
was packing his pipe with rabbit
tobacco. Dr. Hall if you dont
start mixing your tabacco with
black durham Ill scare the faculty
into having you fired.
By this time I was rather scared
as you might imagine. My rash was
getting worse and I felt rather
nauseated by this time.
Agitatoricher was hitting the
climax of his speech with Hall,
Dr. Hall, have you been working
on your PhJ)., he said. Os
course not, said Hall I didnt
put that in my biography when I
came here in the recent past.
By this time was tired
of shooting off his mouth and left
the room.
Dr. Unquotable said We
havent had such a case of brash brashness
ness brashness in the infirmary in the recent

BEAR AS PR IN

Will ROTC takeover?

A military junta of ROTC brass
is considering a complete takeover
of Tiger Hall, according to some
flit in an Air Force uniform.
A massive military buildup of
15 Gator raiders, local civil air
patrol cadets, two boys scout troops
armed with razor blades and chew chewgum,
gum, chewgum, a marching troop of soro sorority
rity sorority housemothers and five UF
groundskeepers reported by Tiger
Hall intelligence early this mor morning.
ning. morning.
Secret operations have reported reportedly
ly reportedly been underway for several
weeks.
According to Mrs. Dirtyole
Wombat, head of the crack drill
team of sorority housemothers,
the daily takeover attempts will
be concluded strictly at 10:30 p.m
on weekday nights.
We have been in contact with
the Engineering School, where a
small nuclear device has been made
available/* said some flit in an
army uniform.
In class this week, ROTC stu students
dents students have been giving only name,
rank, and serial number when asked
questions.
War is hell/* said UF Pres President
ident President Jay Wainerites when con contacted.
tacted. contacted.

past. He then grabbed a needle
and gave me a shot of sodium
penathol.
When did you first get vj).*
said he.
I dont have VJ>., I insisted.
Sure you do, said Hall i
can tell by those large green
spots on your arm. I had to ex explain
plain explain that the spots werent green-
Dr. Unquotable Hall is also color
blind.
I dont know what happened from
this point on. But I got my appendix
out.
I awoke the next morning next
to Alberts cage. How are you
doing Albert, I said. Not so
good, he said, I met this sleek
gator gal the other night and got
the measles.
What ever you do Albert, I
said, dont go to the infirmary.
I know said Albert, Thats
the reason Pm pregnant.

SCANNING TIGERT I
WALL I
.some ROTC flit
II CONSIDER THE II
I AARDVARK M
1 (a noble beast, |H
I at least) H



Broward annexed
by Miami Beach
The City Commission of Miami
Beach announced late last night
that it has decided to annex Broward
Hall on theUF campus. Jay Wayne Waynerites
rites Waynerites of the Agriculture Depart Department,
ment, Department, said that he doesnt mind be because
cause because he was wondering if it would
be possible for the UF pig farm
to exist that far south.
A spokesman for the Broward
Hall, Pussy Galore, announced that
Sally Broom and Cathy Stackhouse
would stay behind at the UF; the
rest of the pigs would leave for the
Ghetto of the South* immediately.
Dr. Unquotable Hall of the UF
Infirmary said that there had been
no sausage or bacon in the in infirmary
firmary infirmary in the last few weeks.

WHO, ME?
Sure. You, especially you, earn be
a member of your SEMINOLE yearbook's
1965-66 staff. We're taking applications
now for the following editorial positions:

Copy Editor
Greek Editors (2)
Organizations Editor
Events Editor

Pick up your application in Room 12
Florida Union, before Tuesday, April 6.
There's one waiting with your name prac practically
tically practically already on it.

HARK!
Have We Got Specials?
You Know It!
City Chickeu 89 c lb.
k
6-oz. Filet 69 c 69.
Fresh Grade-A Fryers 29 c lb,
Sirloia Steak 79 c lb.
Come See Us!
CHOICE
t&MIATS
BILLYS
BUTCHER SHOP
504 NW Bth Ave.
376-8905
Featuring Old f AShlOneO Service
And Finest Meats at Fairest Prices
i I
! ..

Florida Blue Screw organizes
to harass campus politicos

One of the newer organizations
on campus is Florida Blue Screw,
(FBS), dedicated to the harass harassment
ment harassment of die other political organ organizations
izations organizations on campus.
This organization, suspiciously
formed Just after the Florida Blue
Key (FBK) tapping session this
trimester, has not had a great
many applications for membership.
The organizers feel this is due
'to the lack of publicity that FBS
has received in the past. It is
felt that many campus politicians
are well qualified to become mem-

Photography Editor
Seniors Editor
Living Editor
Sports Editor

bers of this organization and if
they would take the iniative to
apply for membership, their ap application
plication application would be speedily ap approved.
proved. approved.
FBS does not hold all night
tapping Sessions to decide which
applicant has done them the most
favors and knuckled under to the
organization the most times, but
rather, membership in FBS Is
based solely upon how bad the
applicant has been screwed in the
past.
ATTENTION!
All names, places, and
things in todays paper are
ficticious and any similarity
to persons living or dead is
purely coincidental. (Thats
pretty funny, isnt it). Follow Following
ing Following distribution of this paper,
do not try to call Alligator
offices. They will be locked.
The editors will not be there.
They will be out of town. Add Address
ress Address all lawsuits to the Board
of Control (in Limbo).

...Lessee, Where Were We.. Oh, No Sweat/ This Is 7

V ~ t ,"' ) i -v t ' u ~ r /- ' 1 \ **
l
. * . <, ;/, Ic.,
Whipped Cream
Sleeveless Nothing
W* Blouse
White and Pastel Shades
lv T)/ for Sportswear
Wy $3.98
Also, other styles
in same fabric
LIBBYE'S
NEXT TO FLORIDA THEATRE
FREE PARKING IN IST FEDERAL LOT



M.L. Kong tapped I
by Fla Blue Key
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apt Wk k \jaaa^ai^m
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By SONNY LISTON
Nobel Peace Prize
winner Rev. Martin
Luther Kong was re recently
cently recently tapped by Flor Florsapeaw
sapeaw Florsapeaw hit
two houses
Restrictions have been imposed
on two entire UF fraternities be because
cause because of the larger number of
measles cases that have appeared
in their houses, according to Wil William
liam William (I've been) Crossed dean of
fraternities.
We don't want any of the other
houses to come down with mea measles,
sles, measles, Crossed went on to say.
The germ was picked up from
a traveling ice cream peddler,
but the peddler was caught be before
fore before he could give anything to
any of the other houses.
James Howler, president of the
IFC said he discussed the con contaminated
taminated contaminated peddler at a special
meeting held in the basement of his
dorm last week. We tried to
catch the peddler ourselves, but
we just couldn't get it.
The campus police have been
notified and are out trying to
get the peddler now.
When asked if this incident had
anything to do with the contro controversy
versy controversy over the IFC blood drive
Howler said, Don't look at me,
I never eat ice cream.'*

ida Blue Key some
embryo Napoleon from
the chapter in the sky
told us today.
. Citing his recent
work with SGER pro programs

IS THIS ANYWAY
TO RUN AN AIRLINE?
...you bet it is!
FLY writze:

grams programs as his major
Kong rounded out an
outstanding record
of service to the Uni University
versity University with his
participation in the

, Loy'em Straipht. The Flo. 'Gate, April 1, 1968 f?

Page 8

UF surfing club and
as Assistant to the Se Secretary
cretary Secretary of the Under Undersecretary
secretary Undersecretary of One Onelegged
legged Onelegged Indonesian Stu Student
dent Student Affairs in the past

administration
Blue Key President
Stewed Parsnips an announced
nounced announced that it f s great
to have another fra fraternity
ternity fraternity man in Key



campus
news
briefs
FAN CLUB
The W e Loved
Juanita Jo Club will
meet at the infirmary
to discuss measles
prevention.
UP SI LON PHI
Gamma Upsilon Phi
of Upsilon Phi will
meet at the bottom of
the Gator Pond.
SAVE BETA WOODS
The Save Beta
Woods Society will
meet at the golf course
behind Yulee Hall to
discuss plans for
the future.
TOILETPAPER
The Students for the
Abolishment of Real
Toilet Paper Rolls in
Broward Hall will
meet tomorrow at 6 a.
m. across the way
from the new Florida
Union is being built.
200 CLUB
The 200 Club will
meet to receive free
penicillin shots to tonight
night tonight at 8 p.m.
TATOOING
Group classes in
tatooing are being of offered
fered offered by the Florida
Union Fine Arts
Committee in John Johnson
son Johnson Lounge of the
Florida Union. Ad Advanced
vanced Advanced classes spe specializing
cializing specializing in Spanish
galleons and hula girls
will be held if there

is a demand. e
i
BUS AD BABES

The Bus Ad Babes
will meet Thursday at
7 p.m. to discuss
table-setting eti etiquette.
quette. etiquette.
ROTC
Corn plasters will
be distributed to ROTC
cadets at drill this af afternoon.
ternoon. afternoon. This is the
only day this offer will
be made.
FREEDOM FOR 9 EM
Freedom For Em
will hold a protest
meeting tonight in the
Freedom House. The
topic to be protested
will be voted on at the
meeting. Bring poster
paper, Magic mar markers
kers markers and picket sticks.
DANCE
The Cuban Revolu Revolutionary
tionary Revolutionary Club will spon sponsor
sor sponsor a dance at 8 p.m.
Friday. The Four
Guerrillas will play.
NE W ORANGE PEEL
Persons interested
in obtaining back iss issues
ues issues of the New Orange
Peel come to Room I 5
of the Florida Union.
Well make you a deal
cheap.

INQUIRIGATOR
& r
m m> 1 1
ih&L.
1
m
V
m at.'-tr.
Bl
a .a
9
,
hHB HHHHHHnH||HH^HHHH| fC|S| HHHHHHHH9HHBH| j|.
'HALECONSULTSTOEORACL?
" ... who ME... for GOVERNOR ? ? ?

By COTTON PIKER
A locust plague is currently
ravaging the UF Agricultural Ex Extension
tension Extension Service fields throughout
Northern Florida, it was announ announced
ced announced to us yesterday by Dr. Mor Moriarity
iarity Moriarity Call me Spanish File,
head of the Ag Service.
No explanation could be given for
the phenomenon. However, an old
man with a beard and two stone

the^lool^'are'everywh^e...

Locust plague
sweeps Ag service

tablets who has been picketing the
Ag School for the past forty days
told our reporter in a candid
interview that the plague would
continue until the Alligator pub published
lished published his letter to the editor.
Carrying a placard that said
.....Student Publications, he
charged that the Inquiregator has
refused to publish his letter so
he carved it on the stone tab tablets.
lets. tablets.

thursday, april 1, 1965, the alligator,

An unverified rumor has been
circulating in connection with the
locust plague that the first-born
of several members of the ad administration
ministration administration had been reported to
have died in the UF infirmary last
night.
Several faculty members were
seen this afternoon annointed
their doors with the blood of a
ram.

Page 9

(Continued from p. 1)
City after all this. 1 mean, thats
50...50 PURITANIC, you know?
NUMMYWeII (pant, pant), lets
hope we can start a new trend.
What do you have to say about
Wauburg- in- the- altogether?
MISS UFJust one drawback.
Dont get pinned. It really smarts.
NUMMYI can imagine. Say,
heres Stewed Parsnips, president
of Florida Blue Key. What are you
thinking so hard about, Stew?
STEWTrying to figure out
where the hell I can dangle this
keyl
NUMMYWeII, it could be
worse. You could be the presi president
dent president of Mortar Board. Say, Stew,
are you scouting around out here
today for any potential tappes?
STEWWho the hells looking
at BOYS (pant, pant)?
NUMMYSame ole Stew. Say,
heres a familiar figure. Mama...
MARNA V.What was that crack
about a familiar figure,* Sonny?
NUMMYJust a figure of
speech, mam. What are you up
to this afternoon?
MARNA V.Just checking up
on my girls, making sure no cur curfew
few curfew are being violated, and like
that. I dunno how in the heck Im
supposed to check on IDs, though.
Crazy administation. Looks like
well have to go to full-length
pictures on the cards.
NUMMYGood thinking, Mama.
Well, nice seeing you.
MARNA V.Now what was that
crack about
NUMMYForget it, Mama. I
take it back, believe me. Say,
whats all this excitement down
here on the waterfront?
EDITOR LlTZJust some mem members
bers members of the Freedom Forum, pa parading
rading parading around in overcoats and
claiming their constitutional rights
are being violated. Thank God
they decided to leave my office
alone!
See WAUBURG, Page 14

mehitabel



dv vHM
*A I fcf tsL#- .si
I
B ; C v Sv J
v J
,> .' \ \ s|S|R Buddy Jacobs takes
1 ;%£&?H' time for a Coke break
y*"* at Donigans... the per perect
ect perect Pickup for warm
-' fe /!&#**! summer d ays.
Gainesville Coca-Cola Bottfaig Co.

HUll |
F rern acs carries a igfl
wide selection of ;j' % ,'. £
sports shirts for the *~4~* *,/>AAC;
Florida man in swing SfiPHHV f
with summer. Fre-
rn acs has bec om ea *>, '?, !> &?' >o:>* f AfpC
favorite with the
Florida man who is V.^Sf^V'/ ¥ §§**'' l
fastidious about his yC; J /y
dress. Located at 112 % fS^C-V .' \^ n & ||f ;
W. University Ave. If ll'
I B1 B 1 & fu .. B|?
: ||j. WUmmmsm : &
JI// I

jy, mSmMtiK 1
Cyclerama
,7W' V .., /f <;'
Parade Dress: Now what could look smarter than a
Yamaha Cycle? Lots of them, obviously, or even better:
A Yamaha with a Florida man astride.
'i

TWO GREAT d
ORANGE and BLUE
II Never misses
: : : : : : : : m m
early classes $1
:f MM

II Something you can I
always count 0n... The H
Gator. Itll be there I
ggig rain or shine every I
morning. By the time I
gijig 4th period rolls around I
iggg: more than half the I
iggg: papers will be gone... v
gig: By noon its hard to I
find a Gator anywhere
on campus.
This means that
gggg more than 13,000 stu- l!:|M
gggg dents, faculty and staff
will have s caned the Ik Ml
iggg front page, read the aSM
iggg editorial, scrutinized pM
igis the classified ads, .||jW
gig: looked at yesterdays I!
gigi box score and seen the
gggi ad for the grand open- j
:igij: ing of a new Gainesville 411
gig business by mid-day. i:mm
gig The Gator gets used ; lal
ggg: for a temporary rain
gigi cover, sunshade, and l
gggi fan. Itll provide a I
gigi clean spot to sit that I
gigi you can carry with you.
ggg Its an excellent com- fjmt.l
:gig panion while waiting
gSg for class to begin. ...zssm
Most of all The Gator
gets read. Everyday. HH
iggi: By thirteen thousand ww#-'
gggi different people,
gig: Thats why Gator ad adgigi
gigi adgigi vertisers are a happy
lot.
****
1 t
,
Campus Federal
I
The summer trimester is almost
time to start thinking of paying
for your education works a harasn
the Campus Federal Credit Union,;
the Dial-a-Loan service, call 376-i
day or night. University ext. oi



COMBINATIONS
3AINESVILLE and YOU

II
X;X;
P
l
ffi.
vSS
$$
II
gg
I
gg
li
Xv!
%%
Sx
&:
vX;

>sthere, and it's
es Paying
ship on you, let
n j£*]P you. For
anytime,
5107, or 2973.

Barkley Motors
The discerning man appreciates Swedish
movies, Swedish blondes and Swedish cars, the
VOLVO sports model, imported from Sweden, is
sold in Gainesville exclusively at Barkley
Motors. Just one of the many reasons why
Barkley Motors is deserving of the title of the
sports car center of Gainesville. Located at
2201, N. Main St.

Donigcm's
Sara Lynn McCrea
and Barbara Felsen Felsenthal
thal Felsenthal smile at thoughts
of the beach and new
bathing suits from
Donigans. Donigans
carries the finest
clothes for coeds who
want to be in style with
summer. Donigans the
home of the discern discerning
ing discerning college dresser.

if
El dia de los tontos, 1965, El Caiman de la Uni vers idacPde Florida, pagina once'

aarOttQpPr ggpr
818
n tWw *3KVs HH M jSrfcti
f * SHvK' --m HyU
f, § ml _m Hm is
V PUBT
V b
B m
V H M|KWS

University City
Bank
Just checking to
see if the moneys still
there. Joyce Tavalar
and Gleason Snow look
in on the vault at
University City Bank,
located just 2 blocks
from campus.



Page.. ,uh.. .mmmmm.. .well, gosh-a II gator...ahh, who cares

1 GATOR CLASSIFIEDS I

For Sale
- .. .?
ODE BANJO Rosewood neck
with hand carved peghead A heel,
ebony finger board with mother motherof-pearl
of-pearl motherof-pearl inlay. S3OO or best offer.
John Pierson 372-8743. (A-127-
ts-c).
FOR SALE,I4 FT. RUN-A-BOUT
Marine Plywood construction,
fiber glassed seams, steering
hook-up. $65. Linda Ann Court,
Ocala Road, FR 6-5826. (A-127-
tf-nc).
USED SINGER VACUUM cleaner.
Good working condition. $7.00. Call
2f7590. (A-127-lt-p).
BOAT FOR SALE OR TRADE. Have
16 foot Carter Craft with 30 hp.
Evenrude Motor and a Gator Tilt
Trailer with wind shield, canvas
top, remote controls skis and
slalom. Will trade for car of equal
value. Call FR 2-3251 after 6 p.m.
(A-127-st-c).
1956 GREAT LAKE HOUSE
TRAILER. 8x34 with 10x10 wooden
sealed cabana, air conditioned,
deep freeze, 10x10 porch. Can
occupy 7/1/65. SISOO cash. See
at Town &. Country Trailer Park.
Call Don Hall FR 2-4602. (A-127-
lt-c).
BAR BELL SET including 2 dum dumbells.
bells. dumbells. Set weighs 110 pounds. Ex Excellent
cellent Excellent condition. $35 new.. I would
like S2O. Call David Newman 376-
8829. (A-127-lt-c).
SPECIAL THIS WEEK 1,000 name
and address labels SI.OO post paid.
Tom Baugh Box 14037, Uni University
versity University Station, Gainesville,
Florida. (A-124-st-c).
THERMOGRAPHIC COPY PAPER.
Three 500 sheet boxes of Buff.
Retail tor S2O per box. Will sac sacrifice
rifice sacrifice for $lO per box. Call Ext.
2832 between 8 a.m. and 5 p.m.
(A-110-tf-nc).
3 MINUTES FROM MED. CEN CENTER
TER CENTER A NkW VA HOSPITAL. 3-
bedroom, 1 bath home on oak
shaded lot. Nicely furnished.
$5,500. Terms. Call Mrs. Ann
Hinson, John Merrill Agency, FR
2- (A-126-st-c).
KELVIN A TOR REFRIGERATOR in
very good working condition. Has
large cross top freezer. S6O cash.
1102 NW 3 Ave. Phone 372-8048.
(A-126-3t-c).
HOUSE FOR SALE. 2-bedroom
frame, furnished, large screened
porch, play yard. 5 minutes from
Med. Center, off Archer road.
SB,OOO Take occupancy June 15th.
Call 372-0752. (A-126-3t-c).
LIKE NEW: FM/AM BAND, 3-
speed 14 transistor, Portable
stereo Radio-phonograph, (works
on batteries). Plus AC adapter
$125.00. FR 2-9372. Ask for Cal Calvin.
vin. Calvin. (A-126-st-p).
MUST SELLI 1959 Ranchero
TRAILER, 10x45, very good con condition,
dition, condition, furnished, 2 bedrooms,
fenced in yard, close to campus,
Glynnwood Park, Lot 2, on Archer
Road. Phone: 378-1596. (A-126-
St-p).
ATTRACTIVE CONTEMPORARY
3- 2-bath near med. cen center
ter center and VAwootj floors, Cypress
paneling. Must sell. 2-0328 after
5 pan. (A-125-st-c).

I For Sale
i i
1960 SABRE 50x10 MOBILE
HOME. Air-conditioned. Excellent
condition with 30x10 screened
alum, cabana. After 6, Lot 36
Hickory Hill. 372-7955 (A-125-4t (A-125-4tc).
c). (A-125-4tc).
HARLEY DAVIDSON 125 motor
cycle. Excellent condition. $125.
Also a West Bend Go-Kart. See at
1036 NE 4 Street or call 372-
1902. (A-125-3t-c).
1963 MO-PED motor bike. Great
condition for campus use. SBO.
Call Gary, 115 East Hall, 2-9128.
(A-125-3t-c).
MOBILE HOME for sale 3oxB,
1958, air conditioned, good con condition,
dition, condition, ideal for couple. Hill Crest
Trailer Park, 378-2621 Ext. 32
day 372-7834 after 5 p.m. (A-125-
4t-c).
For Rent
LARGE ROOMS with a fully equip equipped,
ped, equipped, upstairs, KITCHEN, available
to male students. Occupy im immediately.
mediately. immediately. 104 SW 8 St. or 372-
0243. (B-127-tf-nc).
AVAILABLE APRIL 25, large cool,
comfortable room in private home.
Nice quiet surroundings. See at
202 NW 12 Ter. Call FR 6-5368
or FR 6-2100. (B-125-st-c).
HOUSE AVAILABLE TO SUBLET
for summer. May keep after sum summer
mer summer if desired. 5 room air-con air-conditioned.
ditioned. air-conditioned. Suitable for 4 people,
can be seen by appointment. 4401
SW 13 Street. 378-1252. (B-127-
ts-c).
. II I . I IWI I
FURNISHED HOUSE 2-bedroom,
freshly redecorated. Convenient
walking distance from UnivAtown.
Ideally located. $l2O/month. Call
Layton 8-2671 (B-127-ts-c).
Newly built modern apartment.
One bedroom, modern kitchen,
completely furnished. Air-con Air-conditioned.
ditioned. Air-conditioned. Large closets and storage
space. Quiet nice location. Avail Available
able Available end of April. Call 372-3156.
(B-127-lt-p).
3 BEDROOM FURNISHED APART APARTMENT.
MENT. APARTMENT. Available April 23. Only
SBO.OO per month. Perfect for
3 or 4 students. Call Terry 372-
0852. (B-127-lt-p).
AVAILABLE IMMEDIATELY 2-
bedroom unfurnished apartment,
1 block from campus. Kitchen
equipped, venetial blinds. 103 NW
21 St. Call 6-6112. (B-126-3t-c).
ROOM WITH PRIVATE bath & a
comfortable efficiency apartment,
available April 25, across from
campus. Apply 321 SW 13 Street.
(B-127-lt-c).
AIR-CONDITIONED, split level,
modern apartment for two, three
blocks from campus. Reduced
to SBS a month. Call 378-2358.
(B-126-2t-p).
KEEP COOL THIS SUMMER! New
Danish modern, one bedroom, air airconditioned
conditioned airconditioned apartment with plenty
of closet space. S9O a month (in (includes
cludes (includes water, sewage and garbage
collection). Available April 24th.
Call 372-0094 after 5:30 (B-126-
st-c).
2-BEDROOM FURNISHED HOUSE,
1 mile from campus. Will sublet
April 25 through Aug. $65 month monthly.
ly. monthly. 372-2861. (B-126-ts-c).

For Rent
AVAILABLE APRIL 24, furnished,
2-bedroom, kitchen, Reduced rate
for summer. 322-A NE 11 St.
378-1509. (B-126-st-c).
2-BEDROOM FURNISHED
APARTMENT, available summer
trimester, 1 mile from campus.
$75/mo. for two plus utilities call
8-2018. (B-126-st-c).
ALL UNITS GROUND FLOOR, 2
rooms furnished, refrigerator.
Few air-conditioners. No kitchens.
2 blocks from main air-conditioned
Library, classes, food centers,
Post Office, laundry etc. Rates
$90 $185 entire semester.
6-6494. (B-126-st-c).
SMALL FURNISHED, 1-BED-
ROOM apt. Available May 1. Less
than 2 blocks from campus. 1016-
1/2 SW 4th Ave. (lower). S6O/mo.
(B-126-3t-p).
AIR-CONDITIONED Apartments
for 3A and/or 38. Suitable for 2
or 3 people S7O per mo. plus elec electric.
tric. electric. 1829 N. W. 2nd Ave. Suitable
for 3 or 4 people at 1518 NW 4th
Ave. S9O-SIOO with air-condition air-conditioning
ing air-conditioning included. Also renting for fall
at slightly higher rates. Call 376-
4353. (B-llltf-c).
UNFURNISHED Apartment, 3 large
rooms. Kitchen furnished, tile bath
and 1/2. Large porch and yard.
Enjoy cool shady summer living.'
SBS per month. 923 NW 3rd Ave.
376-9992. (B-123-ts-c).
CBS HOUSE, 3-bedroom, 2-bath,
air conditioned, fully furnished.
SIOO per mo. Phone 376-8195 after
6. (B-125-ts-c).
AVAILABLE FOR SUMMER term
at reduced rate: 1 unbelievable unbelievableuntil
until unbelievableuntil seen completely furnished,
SSO/mo. apt. See after 2 p.m.
218 NW 3 Ave. (B-125-ts-p).
SAAB 3-bedroom, 2-bath,fur 2-bath,furnished
nished 2-bath,furnished new house. 5 min. from
campus. $l2O per mo. Ideal for
family or grotq? of students. Call
FR 2-8668 after 6. (B-125-ts-c).
MODERN 1-BEDROOM, furnished
apartment. Air-conditioned with
plenty of room outdoors. Call
2-2306 after 5. (B-125-st-c).
2-BEDROOM APARTMENT. Ideal
for 3 students. Low summer rates.
Downtown location. 372-0481. (B (B---125-st-c).
--125-st-c). (B---125-st-c).
I SPORTSMENS (
I CYCLE CENTER
I 617 N. Main St. f
I SUZUKI I
j ftKaMMeajTrv
ksMCittixine
[ W&iowna Raviola
; n.T'irlVeal Parmigana
Home-Made
Itolio" Sausage"
In Every Town, or City, Yod
jWlll Find One Good
[Restaurant
THIS IS IT!
Dial 372-4690
2120 Hawthorne Rd.
4

For Rent
1 FURNISHED ROOM, efficiencys,
one, 2-bedroom apartment, uti utilities
lities utilities furnished except gas. Low
summer Trimester rates. Off
street parking down town location.
372-0481. (B-125-st-c).
ROOMMATE DRAFTED. Must ~
move. Reduced rates for summer.
Modern split level, air-conditioned
apartment 2 blocks from campus.
Call 2-4371 from 12:00 to 5 p.m.
or 2-3329 from 6-9 p.m. (B-126-
3t-c).
FURNISHED APARTMENTS A AVAILABLE
VAILABLE AVAILABLE April 1 & May 1. One
bedroom modern, air-cond. apts.
near Univ & Med. Center. Adults
only no pets. Lease required. S9O/
mo. 372-34880 r 376-4360.(8-125-
ts-c).
NEW 1 BEDROOM Furnished
apartments. Air-conditioned, all
electric. Available April 10th. Call
FR 2-2436. (B-122-ts-c).
Services
TYPING, THESIS, TERM PAPERS,
& reports. Fast, accurate, rea reasonable.
sonable. reasonable. Electric typewriter with
elite type. Mrs. Betty Ogletree,
4105 NW 13 Place, Phone 6-0995.
(M-126-3t-c).
'>
Lost & Found
LOST: A PAIR of black eye glasses
in a brown leather case. Bob Boden.
164 Fletcher "L. FR 2-9219.
(L-125-3t-p).

iJfTegyiarTdlnSsloir^^S^
A&adomy Award Winner?
OPEN
TEST ACTOR! t .Si&gggELS 7?"
.UhIMMd SelM) I _I(J|#GPSENI I 2:15
BEST n Kt I eatures at
gg 0 ! NUMMBERfi |' *
Exclusive Special Engagement! 9:00
NO RESERVED SEATS! 3 PERFORMANCES DAILY!
CHECK O N THE STATE THEATRE JAZZ HOUR
Each Sunday at Midnite Guy Graham
REST AEEA SHOWING VjAIMt J VILLt THEATRE
* Exclusive First Area Showing
starts GAINESVILLE
tomorrow! mSVszsr 1 "-

Autos
l
>55 CHEVROLET BEL AIRE, 2-
door, hard-top. Radio, heater.
Good condition. New tires. Call
8-2018. (G-127-st-c).
1963 SUNBEAM ALPINE. Good
condition, new tires, brakes, ton tonneau,
neau, tonneau, seat belts. Wire wheels,
radio, heater. Make offer. 378-
2028 after 4 p.m. (G-127-3t-c).
1950 Chevy, 2-door hard top,
standard transmission, radio A
heater. Good condition. Best offer.
Call 6-5565 after 5 p.m. (G-127-
3t-c).
1957 Volvo PV-444 Good condition.
Complete engine overhaul. 28
miles per gallon gas. Great buy
$425.00. WUI haggle. Call BUI
378-2952. (G-127-st-p).
>64 CHEVROLET, low roUeage.
Pick up payments. CaU 462-1232.
(G-127-lt-c).
1958 VOLKS WAGON. Good con condition.
dition. condition. Make offer. CaU George
Hartwell 2-9307. (G-127-ts-c).
56 PLYMOUTH, runs excellent but
body quite rusted. Almost new
tires, battery, generator, voltage
regulator. $125 cash. CaU 8-1400
after 6:00 (G-126-2t-p).
1955 DODGE, 2-door hardtop, new
motor, trans, batt., seat covers.
A-l condition. $250. (Terms avaU avaUable).
able). avaUable). FR 2-2939 after 5 p. m.
(G-125-4t-c).



aj*ge£- you Berne, mwje vm* i
CLASSIFIEDS

Wanted
NEEDED FOR SPRING & FALL,
two female roommates to share
a bedroom in large house 4 blocks
from campus, $25/month per per person.
son. person. Call Stephanie at Univ. Ext.
2792 before 5 or 2-6568 after 5.
(C-127-ts-c).
RIDE WANTED TO JACKSON JACKSONVILLE
VILLE JACKSONVILLE FOR TOMORROW. (Fri (Friday).
day). (Friday). One way leaving 2:303:00
p.m. Call Burin FR 6-1025 before
4:30 today. (C-127-lt-c).
ONE FEMALE ROOMMATE 3A
term. Air-conditioned apartment.
4 blocks from campus. Call Sally
376-9778 after 6 p.m. (C-126-
2t-c).
WANTED: USED CLASSICAL gui guitar.
tar. guitar. Reasonably priced. Phone 372-
8745. (C-126-2t-p).
A few hundred more students to
enjoy SPUDNUTS DONUT SHOP.
1017 W. University. Open to mid midnight
night midnight every night. (C-126-3t-c).
Help Wanted |
PERSONNEL ADMINISTRATIVE
ASSISTANT, Degree in Personnel,
knowledge of Engineering. Desir Desirable
able Desirable start $6, 000/year. Chemistry
or science majors to $6, 000/year.
Chemical & mechanical & Mechan Mechanical
ical Mechanical Engineers S7OO/mo. Geologist
MS Degree S7OO/mo. Contact: Vir Virginia
ginia Virginia O'Quinn, Consultant in Per Personnel,
sonnel, Personnel, P.O. Box 2263, Lakeland
Florida. Phone 682-8161 (E-125-
3t-c).
sh
W # AWARD
1 # NOMI NOMINATIONS
NATIONS NOMINATIONS
Hush, Hush, sweet Charlotte
The years will soon erase
A lovers lies, his pleading eyes
The blood upon his face.
a**"**'
am am j
jomcom f
HUSH-HUSH,
SWEET
awS&m
1:20,3:55,6:30,9:05
WELL! WELL!
"JOHN GOLDFARB"
IS COMING!


i Help Wanted I
*" i
1 GAINESVILLE REALTOR WANTS
an ambitious family man con considering
sidering considering full time employment as
a Real Estate Salesman. Must be
alert, energetic, and willing to
work 50 to 60 hours a week in
return for income commensurate
with ability. See Warner Weseman
at 1113 N. Main St. (E-127-4t-c).
1
Real Estate
TAKE DP PAYMENTS AND pay
closing costs on a repossessed
3-bedroom, 2-bath house. Central
heat, CCB and newly painted. Phone
372-3826. (I-120-ts-c).
Situations
NEED CREATIVE WRITER FOR
TV OR PRIVATE FILM? Maybe
you have facts but lack profes professional
sional professional script or you have film
already but no narration. Sales
messages, short subjects, docu documentaries,
mentaries, documentaries, written. 2-5220.
(F-126-st-c).
Personal
EDUCATION MAJORS & SFEA
MEMBERS see 200 pounds of
lucious woman as Minnie the Mer Mermaid
maid Mermaid #ll performs her exotic act
at SFEA meeting to be held April
1, 7:30 p.m. in Room 140, Norman
Hall. (J-127-lt-nc),
I GATOR ADS J
GET RESULTS f
[YAMAHA BMW V
Motorcycles
For The Discriminating
CYCLERAMA
18-2811 21 SE 2nd Place
Tsfiggjni
LVISr!wiTM
TONITE! 3 GREAT HITS!
. FIRST AREA RUN 0
..Sim -Iff u m t
Mhueen Rcmick Meiiiuy
S'RO** n #
M'l.uooHcy H*%hy
the jam
I mustfaff y
rXilo cnupg fins? i2un mr
wT... I
rrotrsj
TCCHNISCOPe
TECHNICOLOR'
3iu> LATC COICHJ LAFF 1210 T...
MLtmONW-&
STARTS

It was announced
yesterday by Smiley
Bullpepper that Bob
Seagull was appointed
Clerk of the Dishonor
Court. Bob is the
most qualified person
that I can think of to
hold this office,*Smi office,*Smiley
ley office,*Smiley stated.
When contacted by
the Inauireagator,
Seagull had the follow following
ing following statement ready.
I feel that I will be
able to do a good job

MT CALIFORNIA STYLE
( woodrow, SHIRT JAC
. 65% Dacron
35% Cotton
Machine-Washable
Vs Jf. CW
i : f $5.99 VALUE
'W Now 5 3 w
s Available in a variety
colors and collar styles
central
SHOPPING PLAZA

'!

AS COURT CLERK
SEAGULL IN
s H - lliBK V -piP l ':'
y /I w
m 111 H
W it 9^l
111.v.'
I iffe JBbMse'
-****" r 0 fr iJsfSL*- ',
, jhk
a
COME CLEAN, SEAGULL FOtf/
. .says l/F president Bellpepper (thaUs him on the right).

Page 12-1/2

in this office. I feel
that I am qualified and
that I hold all the re requisites
quisites requisites for this posi position
tion position of trust. I will
strive to do the best
possible job I can.
There is so much to
be done here on cam campus.
pus. campus. There are just too
many honest people
here on campus to suit
me.*
Several Inquira Inquira?;ator
?;ator Inquira?;ator reporters went
o Tigert Hall for a

(We*re Superstitious), The 'Gator, April 13, 1965

statement but myster mysteriously
iously mysteriously all personell
were on an extended
coffee break and would
not be back for some sometime.
time. sometime. The secretaries
had no comment to
make on the appoint appointment.
ment. appointment.
Ole Haydon
to open
new school
Governor Haydon Burns has an announced
nounced announced the opening of a new in institution
stitution institution of higher learning in Zol Zolfo
fo Zolfo Springs which will serve the
needs of 10,000 migrant workers
in that area.
Governor Burns stated that he
would personally finance the con construction
struction construction costs of the new school
from his personal bank account in
Nassau and will appoint Charles
Holley as the first president of
the institution. The general con consensus
sensus consensus in the state capitol is that
Holley, because of his recent con confinement
finement confinement in a state institution for
idiocy, is ideally suited for the
Job of university president.
Burns also announced the ap appointment
pointment appointment of Pontius Pilate as
Academic Chancellor to make cer certain
tain certain that a spirit of Academic
freedom prevails at the new uni university.
versity. university.
Furthermore, Dr. Unquota Unquotable
ble Unquotable Hall of the UF infirmary was
chosen to head the new medical
center to be built with the new
school sometime in the next fifty
years. Dr. Hall was unavialible
for comment.
Nick Arroyo got engaged
last night. You saw it
first in the Florida Inquir Inquirigator.
igator. Inquirigator.



On my honor as a Florida student, this is

flf aK aLgHfe. mm mm flH
Hr |-
m V
* : S ' I I I I I ; I H
|v

m / I * y *&- f 5 i -, v
;; ; :>:| ;;. jj
H 8
A. Jiff
9
ill
h 8


Police raided the National Con Convention
vention Convention of the American Asso Association
ciation Association of University Professors
today and confiscated 2,000 fifths
of whiskey.
The warrant for the arrest of
the societies* president,Dean
Illustrious Hale, was sworn out by
Dr. Unquoteable Hall and Grubby
Wellborn of the campus slop house.
Wellborne said, I protest the
serving of Whisky on campus by
outside concerns all food and
beverages must be sold by food
servicide! M Ed Agitatoricher, lo local
cal local campus fanatic, said, Pm for
freedom give me liberty or
death. Hall, standing nearby,

Page 14

picked up an empty bottle of whisky
and hit Agitatoricher on the head
nothing happened, however, be because
cause because of all the fat surrounding
Agitatoricher's brain.
Hall said the reason for his
protest was that the AAUP re refused
fused refused to grant the infirmary a
trainload of penicillin. I protest
I demand my rights Pro for
freedom Pll call the president,**
said Agitatoricher grubbly.
**l*m sorry,** said Hall, Cull Cullpeppered
peppered Cullpeppered is out of town.**
Wellborn commented, Every Everybody
body Everybody is against the campus slop
house Pll have you know that
we buy from the best garbage

service in the country, Freedom
For 'Em.'*
No comment on the arrest of
Illustrious Hale was received from
Pres. Reitz hes out of town in
the jungle of Tallahassee.
Gov. Pinko Burns did have a
comment to make I think this\
situation is reflective of what I
said in my campaign. I know who
the pinkos are they are the
.Qnes drinking Vodka.**
Grubby Wellborn after re recovering
covering recovering from lunch walked
back into the room and said he
was sorry. We ordered the
Whisky,** he said, I had lost the
order blank but I found **
in my soup during lunch.

Student Govt
I head installed!
£ g

%
By JOHN E. PLUNGER
A private bathroom for Stu Student
dent Student Body President Bruce Bell Bellpepper
pepper Bellpepper has been installed on the
third floor of the Florida Union
in the executive suite, according
to some idiot with a Blue Key*
Freedom Forum threatened to
toss a picket around the office
because the door would open only
with a Blue Key, but were dis discouraged
couraged discouraged from demonstrating when
Bellpepper called several of his
old teammates to his defense.
In explaining the situation, Bell Bellpepper
pepper Bellpepper said: It was Coach La-
Faces idea.
(Continued from p. 9)
NUMMYWeII, say, Ernie! What
are you doing out here?
LITZOh, just trying to un uncover
cover uncover a newsstory or twoha ha.
NUMMYNice try, Em. Has the
Gator decided on a policy to toward
ward toward Wauburgs New Look?
LlTSlve delegated that
decision to Ed Barber, the great greatest
est greatest college editorial writer in the
country, as you know.
See WAUBERG, Page 16

|
The Gator Zoo, a new attraction being offered as a service |
$: by Student Mouse representatives and the Athletic Department g
:* will open today. :$
g Mouse Pres. Smiley Bullpepper said, It was an excellent :£
opportunity to combine all of my old and new friends from the :£
university community.
Bullpepper, who spent his undergrad days as a member of %
& Florida Gators finest, a football hero, has since gone on to $:
bigger and better things.
$ I want to especially thank all the wonderful people who have :$
;X told m everything I know in establishing the extravagant zoo.
1 want to express my appreciation to Coach Grey Raves and
f present Coach, Muck Melburn. Without him I literally could |
io anything. g
mong some of the fine attractions in the zoo will be Jack
* former animal trainer for one of the local drinking es es.shments,
.shments, es.shments, Kenney Kennedie, former mouse president who went £:
imate, and Pul Handtrucks, another former mouse president, $*
£ only who made it at the bigtime sky of Blue.
x Coach Grey Raves, called for whether he would be present
jx at the opening ceremonies, announced I think weve finally :
§ jelled. g

v
Doctor Unquotable Hall of the
UF infirmary in the recent past.
Governor Flaming Burns said:
The Johns Committee is going
to have to look into this.
11
.. .Student Gov't Head
So JcsJ &4AST To S&5
Kjft/wc tv
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FROM THE TOP,
Unit STEVIE WONDER,
KING SAUD FERRIS,
AND THE WOP IN AGONIZING FEAR
f)

am
I iJBB.- :
Gator Staffers
arrested
following
publication
of April Fool
issue

The entire staff of Tlhe Florida
Alligator was placed under arrest
early this morning as a result of
the so -called April Fools issue,
I will not be made a fool of,
said Gestapo Leader Awful Silly.
Managed Editor Stevie Wonder
E laced all the blame on Editor
chlitz, He said that it werent
no big thing, but it could grow and
gave us a green light.
Editor Schlitz, dragged out from
under a bunk in the inner sanctum
of Gainesvilles luxurious city jail
could only murmur incoherently
something to the effect that Well,
I guess tne truth'hurt, didnt it?
Demonstrations were immedi immediately
ately immediately brought under way by students
of the UF School of Journalism.
They carried placards which had
such inscriptions as Keep them in,
we don*t want them, ana Schlitz
go home.
Student Mouse Pres. Smiley Bull Bullpepper,
pepper, Bullpepper, found in unfamiliar
surroundings at the Law School,
said, I think this is yet another

Fink from Tigert
says Raves out

By SWEAT SOCKS
Gator football coach Grey Raves
has not had his contract renewed
for the coming year, some fink
from Tigert told us yesterday.
The reason given for Raves*
dismissal was his failure to make
any progress towards a Ph.D in
his four years at the University.
However, knowledgeable sources
have indicated that the real reason
is that Jay Waynerites can't stand
the smell of Raves cigars.
Raves stated today that his aca academic
demic academic plans hadn't had enough time
. to jell and that he was makln"
more money than anyone in the
State of Florida, includin' Mistah
Reitz."
Dr. Unquottable" Hall of the UF
infirmary commented that Raves
has not been in the UF infirmary
in the recent past.
President Reitz was in Ceylon
and unavailable for comment, but
Dean of Academic Affairs Robert
Mautz said: "I have no comment
to make. Dr. Hall speaks for
the administration."

I
f fn
n fn a\/ / o
La M V c \

What the hell page is this anyhow?

example of the type of activity
within which we can operate towards
a great university as always alluding
to such obvious indicators as the
framework of instruction in this
society allows.
Meanwhile, coming out of the West
wing of the Law School were rumors
of a takeover in the bowels of the
Union by such forces. Said
ringleaders Beer gut Moolay and
Dave Far Out Westerner, I
think we can restore The Alligator
to its rightful place in the students
society. We are the only ones who
can see the truth as it obviously
is. WE WANT ACTION NOW!!! And
until we get it our hands will re remain
main remain up.
Menribers of the Arab Club have
been understood to wire Pres.
Nasser to intervene on behalf of
their nationals. The time to strike
is now while the iron is hot and the
presses are cold, they agitated.
UF Prexy Gritz would make no
comment and Dean Fluster Gale
said I agree with Dr. Gritz.



Sweet 16... and it never would've been missed

Tigert forms
Student Inquisition

By GALILEO
The formation of a
Student Inquisition as
a sub-committee of the
Disciplinary Commit Committee
tee Committee was announced to today
day today by some ex-Nazi
in Tigert Hall.
Purpose of the In Inquisition,
quisition, Inquisition, according to
the members of the
Deanery, is to pro-

INQUISITION SCENES

vide suitable punish punishment
ment punishment for students who
have committed such
heinous acts as bend bending
ing bending IBM cards, sleep sleeping
ing sleeping in class, and spitt spitting
ing spitting on Tigert Hall.
The Inquisition pro promises
mises promises to stone one stu student
dent student a week on the
Plaza of the Americas
in conjunction with the

r lncompetence l charges levied in
Arab, Jew border skirmish

Charges of journalistic incom incompetence
petence incompetence were filed against the
Inquirigaior today on the grounds
that they foiled to provide suf sufficient
ficient sufficient coverage of the recent
bombing of the Hillel Foundation
by the Arab Club.
Arab Ciub President Shkjlkh
Mklbjg blamed the poor student

CALHOUN
%
7\

Calhoun staffer of week

;/ t
weekly twilight con concerts
certs concerts performed by the
UF Band. Band Direc Director
tor Director Clare Net hopes
that these added fes festivities
tivities festivities will insure a
better turnout for the
band concerts.
Dean Fluster Gale,
as the probable head
of the Inquisition, said
that if the stonings
prove popular enough
with students, the In-

quisition may even
bum a few students
during the half-time
show of footballgames
next fall.
Dr. Unquottable
Hall of the UF
infirmary said that
there have been no in inquisitions
quisitions inquisitions in the UF
infirmary in the recent
past.

turnout for. the event on lack of
adequate publicity in the Inquiri Inquirigator.
gator. Inquirigator.
We have tried and are still
trying to bring our culture habits,
and our current problems to our
American friends," Mklbjg con continued;
tinued; continued; but our distinguished

This week's staffer-of-the-week award is
presented posthumously to Andrew Jackson
"Spooky" Calhoun for his fearless coverage
of the Selma riots for us.
Spooky was killed in the line of duty when he
fell in a picket line and impaled himself on
his Freedom Party Button and consequently hied
to death because his cries of agony could not
be heard the noise of the crowd who were singing
"We Shall Overcome
CITY AUTOMATIC
TRANSMISSION, INC.
ESTIMATES GUARANTEED
* Specializing in transmissions only
* Free pickup and delivery
107. DISCOUNT
To all UF students showing ID's
1409 S. Main St. Ph. 372-5196

W '

IfPf 4&rw b *4 -> -M
lfep'lK>'W> H MtK-M I la
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newspaper called
gator* has been more interested
in figuring the types of shoes that
University students wear.*'
Dr. Unquotable** Hall oftheUF
infirmary said that there have been
no bombings in the UF infirmary
in the recent past.

It ain't no big thing, but this here is

(Continued from p. 14)
NUMMYWeII where is this
amazing man?
LITZI dunno, Num. Last time
I saw him, he was swimming
around underwater out near the
girl's float with a diving mask on.
Trouble is, he didn't have a breath breathing
ing breathing tube.
NUMMYHe's probably breath breathless,
less, breathless, anyway. Em, I see I've time
for one more interview. Let roe
check over here with the new
director of Wauburg-in-the-buff,
See: WAUBERG, Page 18
Is A
i/wtual Gallery
Op Delicacies
JA
4lf
A /
Carmanella's
i 1 a.m.-7 p.m.
7 days a week
706 W. Univ,

Page 16

t /.Bd
Si/j
The Alligator
for the
announcement
of our
forthcoming
move to a
new location.
Until then,
come see us
as always alwaysfranklin's
franklin's alwaysfranklin's
BJ&um 4
College Shop*
401 W. Univ. Ave.
" _i
wkl.

: frnorbe)



I
i .*...* v. ,r. .* f ;4 flPf $£ *-*
Hjj H -'-B 8 j|l|
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nH ppupppiiiMiii. ii
FREEDOM PARTY SAT-IN, (BUT IT WARNT NO BIG THING) SO THEY LEFT

Freedom Purty yesterday staged
a sit-in in the student mouse
offices on the third floor of the
Florida Onion. They were pro protesting
testing protesting the recent mouse elections
in which Freedom Party garnered
an 0.03% of the vote.
Leader of the pack, Gerald Need
A. Bath, said, This is an ob obvious
vious obvious case of discrimination if I
ever heard one. The whole student
body hates us/*

...while Inquirigator staff sits-in on Freedom Party.
\ >rV--r- i£y
- > ,4 *** . Hk 2£T *rn ~r /"'#! ,, J%:S.,.J§S§sSi K J*tv I -w!
W i.F . M&& v in ,A '. ~
ill ISMH *-%>s/ i jT
HHB v I *'**
S| W' jii- *
1 / ft,
Bf mmA' m

Quick as a flash Mouse council
representative Imm Tool was on
the scene with the best represen representation
tation representation money can buy, and announ announced
ced announced that she would protest the out outrage
rage outrage to the highest tribunal in the
land. I may even go to the Honor
Court if necessary/* she announ announced.
ced. announced.
Mouse Leader Smiley Bullpepper
was reached for comment late yes yesterday
terday yesterday after a long pre-game skull

session with Coach Melvin.
After fifteen minutes of smiling
and shaking hands (Melvin said that
they still havent figured out away
to turn him off after the election)
Bullpepper said, I think it is
time that all of us who care that
these ideals and issues are brought
to the respective and responsible
parties wherein such discretion
may lie so that proper perspective
may be ascertained in relation to

Rah rah ree, kick 'em in the knee.

all such paraphanalia and discus discussion
sion discussion can be brought to public
light and comment.
My administrative, associate,
subordinate and special aides stand
ready to protect the rights of all
their respective houses."
In a pose reminiscent of his
predecessor W. Kenny Kennedy,
Bullpepper announced that the
full resources of Mouse govern government
ment government stand ready to protect the

rights and privileges of those who
put me in office behind the great
Norman Shield and the Great Blue
Key.
Chump of the Honor Court Sid
Stubbedtoe announced that the court
would entertain any motion to wake
up the justices .and take action.
I mean progressive action,Stub action,Stubbedtoe
bedtoe action,Stubbedtoe pointed out.
It appeared that all would be
solved peaceably by Onion Director
Bill Lion when all 69 bothers of
Florida Blue Key came running
down the hall carrying a Big Blue
Screw and singing We Shall Over Overcome"
come" Overcome" and all raising their right
hands.
Stewed Persons, a Blue Presi President
dent President would only say, The keys
to my office are full of action
now."
| Campui Cwtf. |
£5 Today's Campus Cutie is £
£ Bertha Bushin, a 6-1/2 UC£
£ from Yeehaw Junction.
Bertha is currently presi- £
dent of the Alpha Sigma Sig- £
£ ma sorority and has also been :£
% active in International Student :£
Week and SGER demonstra-£
I tions.
£ Her hobbies are reading£:
£ Darwin and acting (up).
£ She hopes someday to be- £:
£ come an astronaut.

Page 17



>
Are you still
wearing
those creasy
kid slacks?
Get into some wised-up
Post-Grads that know where
a crease snould always be and
where it should never be, and
how to keep things that way
The reason is the Koratron
fabric of 65% Dacron*/35%
cotton. No matter how many
itimesyouwashandwearthese I
Itrimly tapered Post-Grad
,slacks, th v eyll stay completely
[neat and make the iron obso obsolete.
lete. obsolete. In tan, clay, black, navy
jor loden, $6.98 in poplin or
gabardine, $7.98 in oxford,
jAt swinging stores.
Press-Free*
Post-Grad
slacks by
his
pupowrt wca. th row EOivtmjjaMn.
This is ths fabric combo
that makos music with
sleek good looks and wash washable
able washable durability. And Post-
Grads are the bona fide
authentics that trim you up
and taper you down. Triad Triadand-true
and-true Triadand-true tailored with belt
loops, traditional pockets,
neat cuffs.
Only $6.98
The Color* V* Like .
Tn*
The Store With More
Gainesville
Shopping Center
Use Your Charge
Open TJL9: F.M.

Leg Council
decides
something
or other
but not
much
By GOLDIE CUPP
Last night the Legislative Co Council,
uncil, Council, meeting in regular session,
decided something or other.
After the roll call, a motion
was made to call for the quorum.
Immediately, a hard core block of
Action Party members demanded
that the motion be tabW*until the
next meeting. In what developed
into a bi-partisan crisis Progress
party members brought a motion
to adjourn on the floor.
In the subsequently heated de debated,
bated, debated, an amendment to the Ad Adjournment
journment Adjournment motion that would abol abolish
ish abolish Student Government carried by
a narrow margin, but was immedi immediately
ately immediately rescinded when a rider was
subsequently added to the original
motion;
Then, Freedom Party demanded
a quorum call, but the leader
termed that this motion was in
conflict with the original call for
quorum.
In the ensuing confusion, the
Leg Council adjourned for three
and one-half years.
An Action Party spokesman
claimed that the entire meeting
was unconstitutional, however, and
the council reconvened to consider
the constitutionality of the adjour adjournment.
nment. adjournment.
(Continued from some place)
Minnie The Mermaid. Minnie, how
do you feel about not only being
allowed to visit the UF, but lat latching
ching latching onto a new job with it as
well?
MINNIEWeII, Dimples, I fig figure
ure figure theres more than one way
to skin a cat. Only trouble is,
everybody WALKS AWAY whenever
I shed anymore. The novelty's gone.
NUMMYI see. And that's why
you keep walking around with your
clothes BACK ON. Say, that's the
sexiest thing I ever saw!
MINNIEI THOUGHT IT"WAS!
I call it "THE NEW PEEL.
NUMMY AUlriigghhhttt! Say,
let's you and I bug out of here
before Lester comes along and has
the whole thing banned.
DEAN LESTER L.(Shouting
excitedly from a distance) A pox
on Charles Dickens, the ol* ham hambug.
bug. hambug. Whoopee! Next Christmas
were doing scenes from "Gypsy."
MINNIEWho says you cant
teach an ol dog new tricks?
NUMMYAII Hale, Florida,
Bale.

DEAR UF STUDENTS:
SUCKERSj YOU GOT
SHAFTED AGAIN I
Signed Progress Party
-

Goldwater named
Birch John head
§A m f
Mr- ... r ' M K f§|
HP MW
4 m
* ip m
v.'gpiiHip.p IP I '' v;
- A < .. WaM wm
ft 'WMi
' IS jjfc, v
-' % f W my-'
.. *|lS .* -fA
MMiAflv# .. JJlr \* fJI
-TM:,: .: i. a*MM :
A A f It It'M:
'M: It'M: JH
Faring goldwater, abov£
...has recently been installed as the head of the Birch John Society in
Flushing, New York. Goldwater said that he was bowled over by
the whole experience.

Numbers are relative, jack; just relax and read the page, okay?

Minnie again
Dick Thompson, VICE Pres President
ident President of the Student Body, an announced
nounced announced today that another ad addition
dition addition to his staff has been
made. Minnie the Mermaid has
been appointed as head of the
public relations staff for the
advancement of the VICE
President. I feel that Min Minnie
nie Minnie can present the bare facts
to the students about my qual qualifications
ifications, qualifications M Thompson stated.
j i A
Breathe on this spot for
one minute. If it turns
green, brush your teeth.



. to hell with page 19, every damn paper has one

Page 19

-THE MYOPIC SPORTS EYEZZZT
Baxley dunks;
Lujack sharks;
Rollyson steals 33||S
v
By NOTHIN* MORE
Sports Idiot
Things that could only happen today:
Dick Tomlinson shook hands with Tennessee guard Larry Me
Intosh.
Tennis coach Bill Potter beat down the door to my office de demanding
manding demanding more sports publicity.
Ray Rollyson sole home before the pitcher got rid of the ball.
Paul Morton stayed on his feet for an entire basketball game.
Somebody besides Glenn Laney picked the football team to lose
more games than they win.
Skip Lujack learned how to play bridge.
Baseball coach Dave Fuller was ejected from a game for protest
ing a call of an umpire.
Lou Bello failed to throw barbercue sandwiches to the crowd
at halftime.
Vic Stone decided to give up tennis because he felt he was too
old for the game.
Somebody wrote a letter to the editor proclaiming what a great
job the sports staff was doing.
A fast talking salesman sold Norm Sloan a technical foul
preventative a seat belt.
Clyde Israel got a basketball scholarship to UCLA.
Buddy Davis started giving A*s to students who wrote sports
copy.
JOLLY LOSES 40
Warren Jolly lost 40 pounds.
Norm Carlson sent out some baseball statistics.
Brownie Johnston took off his warmup jacket.
Ray Graves got violently mad.
The elevator to the stadium press box worked all day.
Florida basketball fans went through an entire season without
once throwing paper on the court during a game.
Bear Bryant predicted that Alabama would win the SEC and
the national championship in football next year.
Somebody called Skip Higley a dirty old man.
Money was appropriated by the legislature for a new indoor
swimming pool for the UF.
Harry Winkler didn't score a point in a track meet.
The Gator basketball team gave its good sport of the year**
award to Tennessee center Howard Bayne.
Allen Trammell's batting average dropped below .500.
Tom Baxley dunked one during warmups.
Gator baseball team made friends with Auburn.
Tulane won an SEC football game over somebody besides
Vanderbilt.
Someone called Jeff Ramsey shorty,"
Track coach Jimmy Carnes said a cuss word."
Dizzy Dean sang a song on TV on key.
A Dade County team won the state high school basketball
champ 1 onship.

K:
my AjfiSk / x JW

Winkless sets new school javelin record
NEW STANDARD ... Hairy Winkless, UF javelin hurler, surprised
everyone yesterday winning that event in the new school record of
969 feet.

Outermurals director Lemon
says UF men love beer

By GLEAM LAZY
Ex Idiot-in-Chief
Splurting Lemon, director of out outermurals
ermurals outermurals (as opposed to inner innermurals)
murals) innermurals) announced yesterday he
will award a keg of beer to this
year's outermural softball champ champion.
ion. champion.
Those boys really like to guz guzzle
zle guzzle that beer," said Lemon, so
we are going to give them what
they want. It doesn't matter if
most of the boys are under 21,
they love that beer so the out outermural

S/VORTS
.u.im....Vi, in ,' 11.

ermural outermural department is going to
let them have it."
The softball playoffs started last
year when Agitator sports editor
Glenn (let it all hang out) Zaney
organized the first ever admin administration
istration administration opposed all campus soft softball
ball softball tournament."
Zaney was kind of stupid,
though," said Lemon. He wanted
(o award a trophy to the winners.
How silly can you get. Anyone
knows the only thing a good well wellrounded
rounded wellrounded Florida boy wants is a
nice cool keg of beer. Why, this

school has more drunks than any
school in the South and I am
happy to say most of them take
part in our outermural program/'
said Lemon.
Lemon has been semi-retired
this year while shoving most of
the work off on his assistant Cow
Barnes. Barnes, who came to the
UF last year has been working his
tail off while Lemon sits in Ms Msair-conditioned
air-conditioned Msair-conditioned office.
Why, I even have to issue the
statements to the press around
here," said Barnes. "But I do
agree with my boss on one thing,"
he continued.
"I want to see those boys get
that keg of beer for the champ championship.
ionship. championship. I used to go to Florida
and more than anything I rem remember
ember remember us guzzlin' that beer after
a softball game. In fact I remem remember
ber remember us guzzlin' that beer after al almost
most almost anything and everything. In
fact, lots of times we guzzled
beer before and during everything
and anything," Barnes continued.
He then returned to his office
and to his private keg. "It gives
me inspiration* r he was heard to
say as he settled back in his
chair to think about the problems
of outermurals.
"We hope to go on bigger and
better things," he said "and I
just don't mean two kegs in every
office. Next year we hope to award
the softball champion a keg of
beer spiked with Jim Beam."
Lemon called a halt to the in interview
terview interview at that time by falling
out of his seat. He did however
say that Jim had been a real good
friend of his for many years.
Always one to track down a hot
news story, this reporter raced
over to interview Jim, over a few
tall ones.



: S ._ $ " sSmSE* I iMIIB ~T}2>m v m J
- I #;) mt w^- P z y.
/ s '\ "V y '/\'*'" #&&-/ !&& > " 3 '' ; <2? §? - 3 -,-.
-
JUST BECAUSE WE LOST TO GEORGIA, THATS NO REASON TO TAKE
IT OUT ON THE COACH.

'\;X |
NOW COACH, EITHER I PLAY NO. 1 OR ELSE.

UF athletes
on dumb side
says Raves
By BLACK AYE
Assistant Idiot
Head football coach Ranten Raves
figures the Gator team will be
in their worst shape in history
for this falls campaign.
Weve got the dur best bunch
of players Ive ever seen, not a
single one of them is smart enough
to stay in school without jock
help, said Raves.
Basketball coach Storm Drone
added, the basketball team has
similar problems. They manage
to pass their courses, but some somehow
how somehow they always shoot at the other
teams basket. Theyve got to be
the densest Ive run up against.
Drone figures things will get
better as he will have Hairy Wink Winkless
less Winkless out for the team in the fall.
Winkless has proven himself a
true athlete and just yesterday set
a new javelin record for the UF.
Fuller Crap, the baseball men mentor,
tor, mentor, says he has few such problems
as his players are undoubtedly
smarter than those of any other
coach.
All my boys are passing all
their courses,commented Crap.
This I can vouch for as I am
their instructor in each and every
one of them
Tennis coach Still Bottler had
nothing to say about the entire
Datttr.

You won't hove to look very hard, because
the Volkswagen Station Wagon carries the
biggest chrome brand in the business.
But then, our box carries the heaviest load
in the business: over a ton of things. (In 170
cubic feet of space.) Almost twice as much
stuff as the biggest regular wagon holds.
If the stuff is bulky, 5 big doors take the pain
out of loading and unloading it.
And if the stuffys people, the box takes 9.
What it doesn't take much of is oil. 15 pints

Be sure to look for this familiar brand
on the front of every box.

Miller-Brown Motors
422 N.W. 13th St.

Page 20

GATOR BASKETEERS TIME BOMBLINSON
AND RIP SNORTEN, TWO SMOOTHIES.

White hurls Gators
past tough opponent

By RED AYE
Idiot
The Florida Gators, behind the
sterling pitching of ace left-hander
Snow White, defeated the Florida
State College for Women 1-0 here
yesterday.
Throwing fast balls, slow balls,
spit balls, goof balls, and now
and then a left hook to the solar
plexis, White completely over overpowered
powered overpowered the weak hitting scent scentnoles.
noles. scentnoles.
The only run scored by the Ga Gators
tors Gators was scored on a freak play.
The umpire (kindly provided by the
Scent-noles) passed out when he
unfortunately stood too near a
FSCW player. The FSCW pitcher
then threw the ball into the stands
for the ninth time in the game.

, Ha! Bet yon though^we'd never make

in all.l And a box that averages over 20 miles
per gallon doesn't take much gas either.
When it comes to windows, you can give 2
to each passenger (and keep 5, plus the ad adjustable
justable adjustable sunroof, for yourself).
Our wagon is only 9 inches longer than our
sedan, so you can park it in a space thats 4
feet too short for ordinary wagons.
But maybe youve decided you dont really
want an ordinary wagon. That kind of thinking
can get you into a box.

The baserunner on first,
Tallen Aramell, then scored the
winning run
After tne game Coach Fuller
Crap praised his boys for their
fine game and praised particularly
the fine performance of pitcher
Snow White.
Man, was Snow White ever
somthin. And when she threw that
curve of hers back there in the
third inning, why, I almost dropped
my, uh. .tobacco right therel
Crap said the next game would
be against the toughest team played
yet by the Gators, the Ratcliff
Pussy Galores.
They're tough," said Crap.
"They're the only team in the
conference that don't have to wear
jocks. Really shakes the boys up."