S Z"0 7
i u.,. ..-
"The Bildwi Ln h .
THE HEAD OR lTHE HEART.
!; I .
l^BIc- "- -
NN HE OTTA
( NNIE AT T H COTTAGE
HEAD OR THE HEART;
inotlteboe 3uffeth tp. QLharit] biffettk.
CO S I N IK A T E
(THE LATE MISS C. D. BKLL).
^ '' J - _
T. NELSON AND SONS, PATERNOSTER ROW;
EDINBURGH; AND NEW YORK.
THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
HE little parish school of
Heywood was in great ex-
citement. The clergyman,
Mr. Adams, had announced
his intention of examining the scholars
in the Bible and Catechism; and the
children of the bookseller, Mr. Blake,
had great news to tell of the dozen
or more of handsome Bibles and
Testaments which their father had
got from London for Mr, Adams,
and which were to be all given away
in prizes to the best scholars.
"The Bible that is for the highest
6 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
prize," Nelly Blake cried, "is the very
handsomest father ever had in his
shop. You never saw such a beauty."
"I wonder who will get it !" cried
"Oh, Annie Scott, of course!" Nelly
said. And "Annie Scott, of course,"
sounded from every side. "No one
has a chance against Annie Scott."
Annie Scott, a girl between thirteen
and fourteen, sitting at the head of
the highest class, tried to look as if
she did not hear; but she could not
help drawing up her head, could not
keep her eyes from dancing, her lips
from smiling, as she felt the assurance
that they were right, and that she
was indeed pretty sure of the highest
prize. She was perhaps the youngest
girl in her class, and yet she kept her
place at the head with perfect ease
and great regularity. If she lost it
for a day, or even half a day, it was
THE HEAD OR THE HEART. 7
counted quite an extraordinary event
in the school, and talked about for
perhaps a day or two afterwards. She
was well accustomed to being looked
up to, to hearing the other scholars
say that she was sure to do best. In
the half-yearly examinations, or in
chance visits of strangers to the school,
she was quite accustomed to have all
the difficult questions brought back to
her. She knew and understood per-
fectly the look of relief which came
over the master's face, when he turned
to her after having been fretted and
worried by the stupidity of the others,
and was well accustomed to hear him
say, Come, Annie, you can answer
that, I know, if no one else can."
There were many reasons for this
her superiority to the others. She
was a very clever child, with an ex-
cellent memory. She learned quickly,
and remembered easily, and she had
8 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
besides more time to give to her
lessons than any other girl in the
school. Mrs. Scott had only two
little boys besides Annie; and an
orphan niece of her husband's, a clever,
active girl of eighteen, who lived with
them, gave her so much help in her
household work, that Annie was called
upon to do very little. Annie was
very fond of praise, and so eager to
be first in everything, that she made
good use of the leisure thus given her,
and spared no pains to learn her
lessons perfectly, grudged no trouble,
so that she could be sure of surpassing
her companions, and keeping her
place of dux.
As regarded Bible knowledge in
particular, she had a great advantage
over all the others. Her father and
mother were uncommonly pious
people, and took more pains in teach-
ing their children than perhaps any
THE HEAD OR THE HEART. 9
parent in the place. Thus it was less
Annie's merit than her happiness that
she was so far before her companions,
although she herself did not think so.
She prided herself greatly upon her
superiority, and was apt to look with
great contempt upon every one who
was inferior to her.
"There is big Jane coming," said
one of the girls, looking out of the
window. "I wonder how she will
Get on indeed !" cried Annie,
with a toss of her head. Why, she
will never get on at all. There
never was such a fool. She knows
nothing. She is a perfect disgrace
to the school. I wonder Mr. Jones
did not tell her to stay away to-day."
The disgrace to the school came in
as Annie spoke. She was a tall,
awkward-looking girl, about fifteen,
who came in with a shy, frightened
10 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
air, and sat down in the lowest class,
among little ones of five or six years
old. No one knew much about Jane
Thorn-big Jane, as the school-girls
called her. She had come to the
school about three weeks before this,
had paid for a month's schooling, and
asked timidly to be admitted into the
class where the A B C was taught.
Before this no one had ever seen her
about the village. For these three
weeks she had attended school regu-
larly, was very diligent and attentive,
and had made very rapid progress in
learning to read; but she had made
no friends, no acquaintance among the
girls. She always came in time for the
master, but only in time; not half an
hour before, as most of them did, to
enjoy a gossip in the school-room, or
a game in the yard. And the moment
school was over, she hastened away to
the poor little cottage in the outskirts
THE HEAD OR THE HEART. 11
of the village, where she lived with
an old woman whom she called
mother. The cottage stood by itself
in a lane that was little used, so that
there was no one to watch the
strangers, to find out what they did,
or how they lived; and indeed they
had been there some little time before
any one, except the master of the
shop where they bought their pro-
visions, knew of their existence.
In the ordinary arrangements. of
the school, the oldest and youngest
classes were far apart; but on this
day, when the whole school was
formed into one circle, they were
brought together. Only a few
scholars separated Annie Scott from
Jane; and Annie, casting scornful
glances at the tall, awkward girl,
drew up her head higher than ever,
and smiled to herself in great con-
tentment, as she thought of the con-
12 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
trast that there would be between
them when they came to answer
questions. In her exaltation she
might have expressed her feelings too
plainly, and made remarks which
might have reached the other's ears,
and vexed her a good deal; but as
usual Jane had not come at all too
soon, and was closely followed by
Mr. Adams and Mr. Jones.
The examination by Mr. Adams
was the sole business of the day, and
he began immediately after opening
the school by prayer. At first he
examined only upon very well known
parts of Scripture history and bio-
graphy, and his questions were so
easy, that even the little ones could
answer them without hesitation.
Only poor big Jane was at fault.
Each time the question came round
to her, she was obliged to let it pass
unanswered, although, after her first
THE HEAD OR THE HEART. 13
failure, Mr. Adams chose subjects
upon which he supposed it impossible
she could be ignorant. He evidently
did not know what to make of her.
Seeing her among the little ones, he
might have supposed that she was
wanting in intellect, utterly stupid,
or obstinately sullen, had it not been
for the eager interest with which she
listened to the different questions and
answers as they passed round the
school, and her gentle, respectful
manner of uttering her one sad
answer, "Please, sir, I don't know."
At the second or third time of her
failing, as Mr. Jones saw the clergy-
man pause, and look keenly at the
poor girl, he stepped forward to make
excuses for her.
"She is a good and very diligent
girl," 'he said kindly; "but she is
only beginning to learn. You said,
Jane, that you had never been able
14 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
to go to school before, did not
"No, sir; I never was in the way
before," she said, in a low, timid voice,
and giving Mr. Jones a glance of
earnest gratitude for his kind con-
sideration of her feelings.
Mr. Adams caught the look, and
was struck by it-it was so full of
feeling. He felt a strong interest in
the girl, and was very sorry for her,
thus forced to expose her ignorance
before children so much younger, and
yet so much better informed than
"If you don't know anything
about these subjects upon which I
have questioned you, my dear child,"
he said gently, "can you tell me
anything you do know about, and 1
shall examine you upon it."
She looked quickly up at him with
her serious eyes, so full of meaning,
THE HEAD OR THE HEART. 15
hesitated a moment, then gathering
courage from his kind looks, she
answered in a low voice, and casting
her eyes again to the ground,-
"I know that I am a sinner, and
that Christ died for sinners."
The answer was so unexpected, and
given- with so much feeling, that every
one was struck by it. Mr. Adams
was greatly touched.
"God be thanked, my child," he
said solemnly, laying his hand upon
her head, "that he has taught you to
know so much." He said no more
then; but when he came back to her,
after going again round the school,
leaving the Old Testament history
with which he had been engaged, he
asked her in those same kind, en-
"And can you tell me, my child,
who the Lord Jesus Christ is ?"
"He is God, sir," she answered
16 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
reverently. One with God-equal
"And how, or why did he die for
She again raised her eyes to his,
and with an earnestness of feeling
which made her voice low and tremu-
lous, she replied,-
"He died for us because we had
by our great sinfulness deserved to
die, and God was angry with us for
our sins. Christ became a man like
as, that he might bear the punish-
ment which we had deserved-and it
was all poured out upon him, so that
there might be nothing left to us."
And God forgives us for Christ's
sake ?" he asked.
"He more than forgives us," she
cried in her great eagerness, forgetting
that there were so many to hear her;
" He counts our sins to Christ, and
Christ's holiness to us, and loves us
THE HEAD OR THE HEART. 17
as he loves Christ." The last words
were spoken with a burst of tears.
Her heart overflowed as she thought
and spoke of the glorious truth. She
covered her face with her hands, and
tried to hide how much she felt.
Both Mr. Adams and Mr. Jones
felt tears rise to their own eyes. The
child's complete ignorance on every
other point seemed to render more
touching her full understanding of
these. They felt half inclined to envy
her the depth, the freshness of feeling
which she enjoyed; and both rejoiced
greatly in this manifest token of God's
having himself taught her-himself
dealt with her soul. After a moment's
pause Mr. Adams" left her, and went
on again with the regular examina-
tion. After a few more questions on
Bible history, he took the Catechism
and examined the children in it. The
elder class answered, upon the whole,
18 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
very well; Annie Scott perfectly,
without a single mistake. Some of
the younger scholars failed in the exact
words, but the greater part showed
such a knowledge of the meaning of
the answers to all the questions, as
was very delightful to Mr. Adams,
and greatly to the credit of their
parents arid teacher. To Jane the
Catechism was still more an unknown
book than the Bible. But now that
he knew how matters were with her,
he was tenderly careful not to expose
her ignorance. When he did ask her
a question, it was more with the man-
ner of a friend anxious to know what
he could teach her than of a master
trying to find-out whether or not she
had learned her lesson properly. All
the children were conscious that he
spoke to Jane more tenderly than to
them, and even, as it seemed, with a
kind of respect. But Annie Scott
THE HEAD OR THE HEART. 19
was the only one who was offended by
this. She felt as if Jane were de-
priving her of what was her own right
-as if the interest which Jane had
awakened both in Mr. Adams and
Mr. Jones ought rather to have been
excited by her own perfect ready an-
swering of every question. And even
at the moment when the beautiful
Bible for the best scholar was put
into her hands, half its charm was
taken away as she heard Mr. Adams
say to Jane,-
These prizes must all be given to
those who have showed most know-
ledge of the Bible and Catechism,
because for such they were got; but
so soon as you can -read, come to
me, and I promise you that you shall
not be left a single day without the
book you can so well prize, so well
Indeed, I think it is very ridicu-
_^ ..*. A;-~..
20 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
lous, and quite unfair of Mr. Adams
to make such a work with her," Annie
cried, as she and her young com-
panions discussed the matter on their
way home. She does not know as
much as the youngest child in the
I should think she does not in-
deed," said one. She did not even
know the name of Adam's wife."
"Nor Jacob's father," cried a third;
and they laughed together over the
recollection of poor Jane's failures.
"And then to see Mr. Jones and
Mr. Adams make so much of her,"
pursued Annie; I declare it was
too bad. Much encouragement there
is to us to take pains to learn, and all
that, if she is to get as much praise
as we do."
A hand laid upon her shoulder
checked her indignant words; she
turned round and saw Mr. Adams
THE HEAD OR THE HEART. 21
behind her. It was evident from his
grave looks that he had overheard
what she had said.
My dear child," he said seriously,
" do you mean to say that you read
your Bible, and take pains to learn
its history and doctrines, only for the
sake of being praised, or made a work
with, as you call it?"
"No, sir, no," she answered, much
vexed and confused.
Or do you mean to say," he pur-
sued, "that when God, in his great
goodness, has placed you where you
are carefully taught to know his pre-
cious truths, the blessing is greater
in your eyes because you know of one
who does not share it with you ? Do
you rejoice more in your own know-
ledge of the Scripture because Jane
is ignorant ?"
No, sir; I did not mean that," she
22 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
"What, then, did you mean ?" he
Annie looked at her companions,
as if to seek help in answering from
them; but they, awed by the gravity
of Mr. Adams' manner, were glad to
draw back, and to leave her to make
the best of it. Mr. Adams stood still,
evidently determined to have an an-
swer. Annie coloured, stammered,
hesitated, and at last came out very
bluntly with the truth,-
"It was only that I -that we
thought it was not fair to make so
much of her who knew nothing, as
Of you who know so much," he
Of any of us, sir," she said more
boldly. "We all knew much more
than she did. We all answered much
Whose knowledge was of the
THE HEAD OR THE HEART. 23
most value, do you think?" he
She did not answer; she did not
understand him. Jane, she thought,
had no knowledge worth speaking
about. He continued very earnestly,
and with a grave kindness,-
"You can easily tell me the name
of Adam's wife, of Jacob's father, and
a great many more facts of the same
kind; but could you say, not with the
lips or from the mind merely, but
from the heart, I know that I am a
sinner,' as Jane did ? No doubt you
know much more of Scripture history
than she does; but do you know as
well as Jane does what the holy God
thinks of sin; what a grievous and
hateful thing it is in his sight ?"
Annie tried to assert boldly that
she did; but there was something in
Mr. Adams' look, in the solemnity of
his manner, that checked her, she knew
24 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
not why. She could neither meet
nor avoid his searching gaze. She
felt uncomfortable, and wished that
he would pass on, and leave her alone.
After a minute's pause, to see if she
meant to answer, he- went on,-
I am much interested in Jane,
because I think that in her I can see
very strong proofs that she is a child of
my Father in heaven. But, my dear
child, my dear children, believe me, my
whole heart is also interested in you, of
whom I have as yet no reason to know
whether you are God's children or
not. It would have made me and
Mr. Jones more happy than you can
imagine, could we have believed that
every one of you possessed that precious
knowledge which God has given to
Jane-even the knowledge that she
is a lost sinner in God's sight, and
that Christ has died to save her." '
There were again a few moments of
THE HEAD OR THE HEART. 25
silence. The children did not know
what to say, and Mr. Adams was
unwilling to say too much at that
time. He walked on a few steps with
them, and asked after the sick father
of one of the girls, the baby brother
of another, and, finally, whether any
of them could tell him where Jane
In Deep Lane," said two or three
voices. He considered for a moment,
and looked at his watch.
I have not time to go so far," he
said; "I have an appointment. Do
any of you pass near her house ?"
I do," said Annie Scott, very
glad to be able to speak freely again.
" I pass the end of the lane, and can
take a message if you like, sir."
He thanked her with all the plea-
sant courtesy of manner natural to
him, and asked her to tell Jane that
he should like to see her at his house
26 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
that evening at six o'clock. Annie
promised to deliver the message, and
went up Deep Lane to do so before
The cottage looked very miserable.
Annie glanced at the broken window,
torn thatch, stained walls, and round
the wild, rough garden, and contrasted
them with her father's tidy, comfort-
able house and her mother's beautiful,
flourishing flowers and vegetables.
"Poor Jane, this must be a dreary
place to live in," she thought, as she
knocked at the door. Jane opened it,
and smiled very pleasantly when she
saw who had knocked. She asked
Annie to come into the kitchen. It
was a very poor-looking place. The
plaster was broken, and either hung
in patches away from the walls, or
had fallen down altogether, and left
the lath bare and miserable-looking.
There was very little furniture in the
THE HEAD OR THE HEART. 27
room-a small bed, a table, a stool,
an arm-chair on one side of the fire-
place, and in it sat an old woman,
cowering over the small fire. She
looked sharply round when Annie
came in, and showed a withered, very
cross, disagreeable countenance.
"Who is that ? and what does she
want ?" she asked, frowning at Annie.
It is Annie Scott, mother," said
Jane. I told you about Annie, and
about the beautiful Bible she got.
You have got it with you," she added,
looking at it admiringly, but without
the least envy. Annie held it out to
her. Jane took it and showed it to
the old woman.
"Look what a beauty, mother!
And it is the Bible too; God's Word."
I don't care what it is. I don't
want to see it," cried the old woman
angrily. If it were yours, and we
could sell it to buy meat and drink,
28 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
it would be something worth talking
about; but I don't care for it since
we can't sell it."
Jane's face had been very bright
and pleasant all this time, but now a
cloud passed over it, and with a deep
sigh she gave Annie back her Bible.
Annie saw the change of expression
and heard the sigh. She fancied that
Jane was sorry she could not sell the
pretty Bible to get money for food,
and being really a kind-hearted girl,
she felt great pity for both mother
and daughter. "They must," she
thought, "be very poor to go on liv-
ing in such a miserable house, and to
stand in such great need of money as
to wish to have my Bible only for the
purpose of selling it." Annie was not
much accustomed to see very poor
people. No one in Heywood was
very rich, but neither was any one in
absolute want. And perhaps she felt
THE HEAD OR THE HEART. 29
all the more sorry for Jane and her
mother, because she had hardly ever
before known any one who seemed in
such distress for want of money. The
old woman asking again very angrily
what she wanted, Annie gave her mes-
sage hurriedly. Jane looked greatly
Thank you for coming to tell me,"
she said heartily. I shall be so glad
to go; I wished much to speak to him,
but did not like to go without being
Do you know where Mr. Adams'
house is ?" asked Annie.
Jane did not, but said she could find
it out. Annie offered to come and
take her to it.
Oh, thank you very much,"
said Jane again very gratefully.
" It is very kind of you ; you
were very good to come to tell
me before you had even taken
30 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
home your Bible to show it to them
Jane's gratitude was pleasant to
Annie, who liked to grant favours.
She was beginning to like Jane, and
to forget all about the jealousy she
had felt for her. The two girls went
out together. Annie lingered after
saying Good-bye, hesitated, and at last
Your mother seems to think that
you have not enough to-that you
want money. I have eighteenpence
of my own-"
Oh, thank you very, very much,"
Jane interrupted eagerly; "but, in-
deed, we have quite enough. We
want for nothing. Only I am all the
same obliged to you."
But your mother seemed to think
you had not enough."
"She might think it. She does
think it. But she does not know.
THE HEAD OR THE HEART. 81
She only fancies things. She does
not know anything rightly now. Her
mind is quite away. She is very
"But you sighed too, and looked
sorrowful," Annie persisted, her com-
passion and generosity increasing, the
more unwilling Jane seemed to be to
profit by them.
"Did I? If I did," she answered,
looking sorrowful again, I suppose it
was because poor mother did not care
for God's Word, and only thought of
But how do you live ? What do
you live upon ?" Annie asked, with a
glance of pity at the miserable house.
I can sew very quickly, and the
shop-people say very well. Mr. Green,
of the big shop up there, gives me as
many shirts to make, and as much
trimming to embroider, as I can well
manage to get done."
82 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
That is it! How do you manage
to get any work done and you at school
all day ?"
Oh," Jane answered cheerfully,
" there are the mornings, and ever so
many hours at night; I get on fam-
ously. To be sure, when this month
is done, I have no money ready for
another at school just yet. But I can
keep on learning by myself for a little
now I know the way; and when I
sew all day long, I'll soon get enough
for another month."
Annie still lingered, and seemed to
have more to say. Jane stood at the
door waiting till she should say it.
In the end it came out very bluntly,-
Is that old woman your mother,
Jane ? she looks so old."
"No; my father and mother died
of fever in the same day, when I
was only a week or two old, I be-
THE HEAD OR THE HEART. 33
"Your grandmother, then ?" Annie
No; I don't fancy she is anything
to me. I don't rightly know how it
was. I think father and mother died
in her house, and she took care of me
because there was no one else to do
it. Any way, I have lived with her
ever since I can recollect."
She seems awfully cross and dis-
agreeable," said Annie. I wonder
how you can live with her "
She took care of me when I could
not take care of myself, and fed and
clothed me many a year. To be sure
I must take care of her now. I could
not do anything else," Jane said simply.
But is not she awfully cross "
I don't mind that much. Oh !"
she cried, with a sudden burst of tears,
"if she would only love God, she
might be a hundred times crosser, I
34 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
should not care !" and she turned has-
tily into the house, unable to say more.
Annie went home eager to show her
Bible, but, perhaps, still more eager
to tell her mother all about Jane.
Mrs. Scott was a very kind, motherly
woman. She was much interested in
all Annie had to tell, and advised her
to make a friend of Jane, and try to
help her as much as she could.
I could help her about her learn-
ing to read," said Annie. I mean
to offer to go every afternoon, and
give her a lesson, if she likes."
The offer was made that evening;
Jane was very grateful, and accepted
it eagerly. The two girls had a
pleasant walk to Mr. Adams' house.
Annie was greatly amused by Jane's
total ignorance of all country matters,
and by the strange questions she asked
about everything they saw.
I never lived in the country be-
THE HEAD OR THE HEART. 35
fore," Jane explained. "I have al-
ways lived in London."
In London Annie cried, with
sudden respect for her new friend.
" Oh, how I should like to see Lon-
don There are such beautiful things
there, are there not?"
"I don't know. I suppose so,"
Jane answered indifferently. But
I saw little of them. I saw little of
anything but wickedness and sorrow.
Oh, such wickedness "
What kind of wickedness?" Annie
"All kinds. Lying, cheating, steal-
ing-everything. But it is bad enough
to know about it. I don't want to
think-I don't want to speak of it."
"And in what kind of a place did
you live ?"
"In many, many places," she an-
swered in a hurried way, as if she
wished to forget all about it. Never
86 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
long in one place, but always in such
dark, miserable holes. In lanes, or in
little courts, where the houses were
ever so high, and so close together
that the sun never got into us, and
we could hardly see even a morsel of
the sky. And heaps upon heaps of
people-bad, cruel, angry people-
lived all together, and there never
was quiet, or peace, or anything good."
She spoke with so much agitation
that Annie's interest was strongly ex-
cited. She was sorry to see how
nearly they had reached Mr. Adams'
If you like, Jane," she said, I
can wait hereabouts for you till you
come out; and if you are not long,
we shall have time to go to that place
in the wood where I told you there
were ever so many birds' nests."
Jane was glad to think of seeing
"ever so many birds' nests," and as
THE HEAD OR THE HEART. 37
the shortened school-time of that day
had enabled her to get well on with
her work, she agreed to go. She was
not very long with Mr. Adams, and
came out with a countenance bright
Oh, how very, very good God is
to me !" she cried, as soon as she had
joined Annie. "Mr. Adams has asked
me to come to him every Monday and
Thursday evening, that he may teach
me the many things I don't know
about God and his will; and I don't
want anything in the world so much
as that. And a kind lady, whom he
called his sister, asked me about my
work, and said that she could get me
work to do, and be able to pay me
better than the shop-people; and she
said, too, that she should be glad to
teach me to read when you could not.
And if I get good pay, and have not
the school to pay, or to be so long
88 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
time at it, I'll get on so well, and be
able to make mother quite as comfort-
able as ever she was in the days I
Did you make more in London
than here?" Annie asked, glad to
come back to the subject about which
she was so curious. "What did you
do ? How did you make money
there ? "
Ever since I can remember," Jane
said, the brightness going at once out
of her face, I used to go out to beg
all day long. At first, when I was
very little, I went with mother; and
then, as I got older, I went alone."
And did you, could you make so
much by begging ?" Annie asked,
By begging, telling all kinds of
lies to make people give, and often,
often by stealing-' picking up little
things,' as poor mother called it," Jane
THE HEAD OR THE HEART. 89
said, drooping her head under the
shame and sorrow of the avowal.
"But did not you know it was
wrong ?" Annie asked.
"Not for a long time: there was
no one to teach me. But one day, a
long while ago, when I was still quite
little, I begged from a young lady,
who found out that I was telling lies,
and she said to me, 'Don't you know
that God is angry with you when you
tell lies And I, poor miserable child
-I asked her, 'Who is God ?'"
Oh!" cried Annie, shocked. "Did
not you know ? "
"No," she answered with'a kind of
passion, I didn't know who God
was; think of that! I knew who the
police were, and that it was best to
keep from making them angry; but
I knew nothing at all about God, or
about his anger against sin. A crowd
came past just after I had asked the
40 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
lady who God was, and she was hur-
ried away before she could answer;
but the look in her face, the sorrow,
the fear, as I thought, when I said
the words, made me think that God
must be some very great person, and
that it must be very terrible to make
him angry. I asked everybody I knew
for many and many a day after that if
they knew God; but some said they
didn't, and some were angry and bade
me hold my tongue, and I never could
meet my young lady again to tell me."
And then did you forget about it ?"
"No, I couldn't forget; a dreary
feeling always came over me when I
thought of that lady's frightened, sor-
rowful look-it was as if she had seen
some one going to kill me. I wished
so much to know God; and I never
could again tell lies, because she had
said that made him angry, and I did
not know but that he might be near
THE HEAD OR THE HEART. 41
me, and hear me, and so I was afraid.
Mother was very angry because I
would not tell lies, for I never got
much by begging when I only told
the truth; and she used to try to
make me-to beat me, and let me go
for a day at a time without anything
to eat. And I was so unhappy, that
I often thought I'd do as she bade
me; but always when the time came
I couldn't-I was afraid. I did not
know who God was, or whether he
heard me or not, and I never could
get out the lies when I thought that
maybe he did hear; and I could never
steal after that. I don't know that I
could have found out for myself that
it was wrong to tell lies, but whenever
I thought about it, I knew that it was
wrong to steal. The things were not
mine, and I had no business with
them: I saw that, and was afraid to
42 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
And did your mother give up try-
ing to make you ? "
For a long, long time she didn't,
or if sometimes for a day or two she
let me alone, then a day would come
when she wanted gin very sorely, and
she'd be harder than ever. But after
a long time a girl called Ellen came
to live in our house, and she turned
to be such a happiness to me."
"Did she know God?" Annie asked.
"No; but she was quiet and kind,
and like nobody I had ever been with
before. I liked to sit beside her when-
ever I could; she had been better off
once, and had learned to sew beauti-
fully. I liked to see her needle go
so quickly out and in, and to watch
the pretty things she made. Once
she had made a great deal of money
by the trimmings, and collars, and
sleeves that she sewed; but when she
came to us she was ill and weak, and
THE HEAD OR THE HEART. 43
could not work long, and so she had
got poor, and that was why she had
come to live in our miserable place.
She taught me to sew too; she took
a great deal of pains to teach me, and
she said that I learned very quickly.
And so I was soon able to make a
great deal, and mother got to be
better pleased with me."
Could you make more then than
you had done by begging ?"
"Not than I had once done. When
I was very little they say I was
pretty," Jane said, looking down with
a smile upon her long, awkward limbs;
"and when I was sent out in the cold
and wet with very little upon me, and
told dismal stories, people were very
sorry, and often gave me a great deal.
Even when I got to sew well and
quickly, I couldn't make so much as
that; but I made a good deal, and
poor mother got to be pretty well
44 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
content, and we went on happier to-
gether; but all the time poor Ellen
was getting worse and very weak.
Often she could not go out about our
work. I could take the finished work
to the shops, but I did not do so well
about taking orders, and Ellen always
tried to go for that herself. One day,
when she was very weak, she had gone,
and she had got so weary she could
hardly walk. Crossing the street, she
couldn't get fast enough out of the way
of a carriage, and she was knocked
down. She was not much hurt, but
only so shaken and frightened that I
don't think she ever got the better of
it; but she always said that fall was
the one greatest blessing of her life.
The carriage was full of ladies. They
were so sorry that they got out to see
to her themselves; they sent her home
in a cab, and one of them came that
very day to ask about her. I was
THE HEAD OR THE HEART. 45
with Ellen, and oh Jane cried,
interrupting herself, "what a bless-
ing God sent us in that good
Was she your lady who told you
that God would be angry with you ? "
Annie asked eagerly.
"No. But she must have been the
same kind of lady, for so soon as she
had asked about Ellen's health, and
about how she and I lived, and had
settled to send the things Ellenwanted,
and to get a doctor to see her, she be-
gan to ask us about God. And when
she found that we knew nothing about
him, she came every day to teach us;
and oh, what she taught us! She
taught us who God is, and what he
is-how glorious, and holy, and hating
sin with a holy and a great hatred.
She made us feel that we were terrible
sinners in God's sight, and she told us
what Christ had done and suffered for
46 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
miserable sinners like us-for his ene-
mies, for those who despised and hated
him. She told us how he had left his
glorious home in heaven, and come
down to this earth to be made one of
us, and been cold, and hungry, and
faint, and weary, for our sakes, and
been spitted upon, and cruelly used
by men whom he came to save; and
how he died upon the cross for us;
and how all our sins were counted to
him, and all the wrath and curse of
God for our sins was poured out upon
him; and how he was in an agony of
soul for the fearful weight of sins that
was put upon him, and that he was
willing to bear it so that we might go
free; and how, when he cried out, It
is finished !' then an end was made of
our sins for ever, and God cast them
behind his back, so that they could
never more be found or be brought up
THE HEAD OR THE HEART. 47
She spoke so eagerly and with such
intense feeling that breath failed her,
and she was obliged to stop for a mo-
ment. Annie looked curiously at her;
she hardly understood her. Never had
she felt so much about these things.
Jane caught the look.
0 Annie Scott !" she cried, with
great feeling, "you have known these
things all your life, you can hardly
think what it was to us to hear them
for the first time. Oh, the day when
she told us that all Christ's holiness
was counted to us, and that God, for
Christ's sake, loved us even as he
loved Christ, I thought I could not
stand it. I cried it could not be true
-it was too good to be true. Then
she read it out of the Book which she
had told us was God's own word: she
said that it was the blessed Christ
himself who had said it. Then we
knew that it must be true, only it was
48 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
too great, too grand, we could not take
it in; and Ellen said that for all her
pain, and her weary, weary days and
nights, she'd like to live ever so many
years that she might think about it,
and go about and about it, and get it
into her heart. And when the lady
told her that she should think about
it and learn about it for ever in
heaven, she sat right up in bed, and
clasped her hands above her head, and
cried out, 'Oh, and then I shall have
a bigger heart and be able to know
more about it!' And ever from that
day she wished so much to get away
that she might get a bigger heart, and
be able to love Christ, and to know
how much he loved her."
And did she soon go away ?"
She was not long after that. And
oh, God was so good that he allowed
the lady to stay in town and come to
see us, till the very day before Ellen
THE HEAD OR THE HEART. 49
died, and then she was obliged to go
And you were left alone," Annie
I didn't feel alone. I always felt
that God was beside me after that.
And though I did want sorely to have
some one to read God's words to me,
and to tell me more about him, yet
God taught me so many new things,
and great things, out of what I had
heard, and made them all so real to
me, that I couldn't ask anything more.
I minded words that the lady had read
-how Christ had promised that the
Holy Ghost should take of the things
of Christ and show them to us, and I
felt that it was all true, gloriously
true, for that he did it to me."
Didn't you go to church ? You
would have learned more there," Annie
"I didn't know what church was,"
50 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
said Jane. Once the lady advised
me to go to church, but I didn't know
what she meant, and hadn't time to
ask. One day I passed a church when
they were singing, and I liked the
sound and went in; and oh, what that
was to me The prayers, the sermon,
-I can never forget them. The
minister said the text so often that
I got it learned, and it was my greatest
comfort ever after. The words were,
'He that spared not his own Son, but
delivered him up for us all, how shall
he not with him also freely give us all
things?' You can't think how much
these words have been to me ever
"Did you never go back to hear
more ? "
I went back and back, times and
times ; but I knew nothing about
churches. I didn't even know that
it was on Sunday they were open,
THE HEAD OR THE HEART. B1
and so I never got back at the right
time all the times I tried. We didn't
stay very long in London after that.
I couldn't bear to live with all these
wicked people, and to see their wicked-
ness and to hear it. They did not
know a God to love, but they knew
a God to curse and blaspheme; and
I couldn't stand it. I thought some-
times it would kill me; most of all,
when poor mother had taken too much
gin, and cursed like the rest. And I
kept begging her to come away from
that horrible place, and praying to God
to make her ready to go. And God
did make her ready. A woman came
up from the country to our place, and
she told mother that it was much better
to live in the country, and that every-
thing cost less money there, and so she
was willing, and we came away."
"And why did you come here '"
52 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
"We wandered on seeking a quiet
place where I might hope to get work,
and came here on a Sunday afternoon.
I did not know anything about Sundays
then, you know," she said, in answer
to a look of wonder from Annie. I
didn't know but that we might travel
one day as well as another. When we
passed the church the door was open,
and we went in; and when I heard Mr.
Adams preach, I thought that I should
like so very much to live where I could
hear him always. As we went through
the town seeking a quiet, cheap place
to sleep in, we came to that cottage in
the lane. A woman lived there alone,
who took us in for the night,"
Oh, I remember," interrupted
Annie; "a Mrs. Grey, a soldier's
wife, lived there for a short time,
and went away in a great hurry to
join her husband."
"Yes," Jane went on. In the
THE HEAD OR THE HEART. 53
morning, when I asked her about
staying on here, she told me that she
had heard from her husband on the
Saturday that his regiment had come
back from foreign parts to England,
and that he wanted her to come to
him. She had paid a year's rent, and
as she was in a great hurry to get
away, she said I might have the house
for the rest of the year for only ten
"And had you ten shillings?" Annie
asked, looking down at Jane's poor,
"Yes ; before we left London I
worked very, very hard. I got a
great deal sold there, and had the
money to bring, besides several pieces
of trimming to sell as we came along.
I took them to the better houses in
the villages, and to the grand gentle-
men's places, and sold nearly all of
them. They were very much thought
54 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
of. At first I asked the same price
that the shop-people gave me; but a
lady told me that it was far too little,
and she changed all the prices for me,
making some of them twice or three
times more; and I got the high price
quite easily, and grew very rich. After
I had paid the ten shillings, and a little
more for an old bed, table, and stool,
that Mrs. Grey did not want to take
with her, I had enough to buy an old
easy-chair for mother from a man in
the village, and a nice soft cushion for
the back. I had still two pieces of
trimming, and I took them to Mr.
Green, and he bought them, and
ordered more, and gave me a dozen
shirts to make-coarse shirts with
little work, which I got done so
quickly you cannot think. Then when
I found that I could keep mother
comfortable, and pay for a month's
schooling too, I was so glad. I did
THE HEAD OR THE HEART. 55
so want to learn to read God's Word,
and He made it so easy for me to
begin to learn. I think nobody in
the world is so well off, or has things
go so well as I have. I have every-
thing I want now."
Annie was silent. She thought of
the many blessings and comforts of her
home, and her conscience reminded
her how often she felt unhappy and
discontented among them all
And do you get on at school as fast
as you like?" she asked after a minute
In learning the Spelling-book, Mr.
Jones says no one ever got on so fast
before," Jane said modestly. "I sup-
pose it is because God helps me so
much. When I asked him, I felt as
if he would, and I am sure he does.
But there are some things that it is
harder to learn than I thought it would
65 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
"What things ? Annie asked.
"Why, you know, I never learned
anything out of the Bible before.
There are so many things in it that I
don't know, and that even the very
little ones know. And so when Mr.
Jones speaks to you, and explains the
Bible, there are ever so many things
that I can't understand, and that he
thinks you all know about; and that
makes me sad and puzzled like often
"Why don't you ask people about
them ? "
I do ask Mr. Jones sometimes, and
he is very kind; but he is busy, and
there are so many things."
"But we big girls could have told
you if you had asked us," Annie said,
with an air of superiority.
"Yes, 1 know that; but-but," she
said, hesitating, "you-none of you
seemed to like me."
THE HEAD OR THE HEART. 57
Again Annie's conscience spoke
loudly, and reminded her how scorn-
fully she had behaved to poor Jane.
"Ah," she cried frankly, "we did
not behave at all well. I am very
sorry. But now, Jane, you can't be
afraid to ask me."
No, not now," Jane said gratefully;
" you are very kind."
Her gratitude quickened Annie's re-
"It was too bad of us," she said.
"Didn't you feel that it was very bad,
and very hard of us ?"
"I did feel that at first," Jane an-
swered with a smile; "and it was a
kind of comfort to keep saying to my-
self that you were very unkind; but
when Mr. Adams preached that Sun-
day about God's telling us not to be
angry with each other, I prayed to
God to keep me from thinking you
unkind, and he did it. I have never
58 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
thought much about it since that
Again Annie was silent. Again
she contrasted Jane's conduct with
her own in similar cases, and, curi-
ously, there came into her mind the
recollection that she had called this
girl a disgrace to the school. The
girls had talked so fast that they had
gone the wrong road, and found them-
selves coming back to Deep Lane with-
out having seen the birds'nests. Annie
proposed that they should turn again;
but Jane, looking at the sunset, said it
was time she should be home to get her
mother's supper. She began to walk
very fast, as if afraid of being too late.
"You need not be so particular about
such a cross old patch. She can wait
a little, surely," said Annie.
"Why, you see," Jane answered, I
can't give poor mother the only thing
she wants, and that is gin. I can't
TIE HEAD OR THE HEART. 59
give it to her, because it makes her
wild, and she says wicked things
against God then. So, when I can't
give her gin, I must make every-
thing else as nice as I can for her.
It is all I can do."
And that was why you bought an
easy-chair and a cushion for her, instead
of a new gown for yourself? Annie
Oh," Jane said with a bright look,
" I was so glad to get it. You can't
think how happy I was when I saw her
lie back so comfortably in it, and heard
her say that it was so nice."
But, Jane," Annie asked, "did you
never see your good lady again ?"
"No; she was called out of London
in great haste, but she sent her maid to
see me, and to say that if I liked she
would take me to the country with her,
and board me with a good old woman,
and send me to school."
60 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
"And did you not like ?" Annie
asked in great surprise.
"Like! yes, I should think so," Jane
answered, smiling; "but you see I could
not go. I could not leave mother, now
that she can't work for herself. The
lady once told me that God had said,
'Love your neighbours as yourself,' and
so I knew that he must wish me to do
everything I possibly could for her."
"You are very good, Jane," burst
from Annie. Every one does not
do what they know God wishes them
Don't they ? Jane asked, stand-
ing still to look more earnestly for an
answer. Ah, I think they must. 1
know so little of what God wishes me
to do, that I am glad to do the little
that I know to the very best I can.
0 Annie, don't you know what a joy
it is to me to know of anything that
God wishes me to do, when he loves
THE HEAD OR THE HEART. 61
me so much. How can I help doing
it with all my heart! "
They had reached the cottage, and
Jane went in at once. Annie looked
after her, and again the words, Dis-
grace to the school," came back upon
"How little I knew," she thought,
"when I said that. I wish I were
She might have wished it more could
she have followed Jane into the house,
and watched her patience and gentle-
ness with the poor, cross old woman.
She had been so very cross that day
that Jane fancied she was missing her
gin more than usual, and the good,
loving girl had bought an expensive
delicacy for her supper, resolving to
live upon dry bread for a day or two
to make up for it. She cooked the
supper with the greatest care, and
coaxed the old woman to eat it with
62 THE HEAD OR THE HEART.
beautiful kindness. And when at
last she got her into bed and asleep,
and had eaten her own poor supper
with a thankful heart, she fairly burst
into tears of gladness as she thought
of all the mercies of that day.
It was a memorable day to both
Jane and Annie. For Jane it brought
friends who continued to love and serve
her through all her life. And to Annie
it brought the great blessing of mak-
ing her feel, for the first time in her
life, the difference between knowing
God's will and doing it. For the rest
of that day, and for many days, her
mind was very busy about Jane and
her story; and, by God's blessing, the
end of it was, that she gave herself no
rest until she had learned to know God,
and to know herself even as Jane did.
ONE SHILLING SERIES OF
BIBLE-ILLUSTRATION BOOKS FOR THE YOUNG.
THE FALL OF JERUSALEM; AND THE ROMAN CON-
QUEST OF JUDEA. Illustrated. 18mo, cloth. Price Is.
THE JORDAN AND ITS VALLEY, AND THE DEAD SEA.
With Fifty Woodcuts. Foolscap 8vo, cloth. Price ls.
EASTERN MANNERS AND CUSTOMS. By the late Rev. W
K. TWEEDIE, D.D. With Sixty Woodcuts. Foolscap 8vo,
cloth. Price ls.
JERUSALEM: PICTORIAL AND DESCRIPTIVE. By the
late Rev. W. K. TWEEDIE, D.D. With Seventy Engravings.
ILLUSTRATED BOOKS FOR NURSERY READING,
LITTLE SUSY'S SIX BIRTH-DAYS. By AUNT SUSAN. Illus-
trated. Foolscap 8vo, gilt edges. Price 2s.
LITTLE SUSY'S LITTLE SERVANTS. By AUNT SUSAN
Illustrated. Foolscap 8vo, gilt edges. Price 2s.
LITTLE SUSY'S SIX TEACHERS. By AUNT SUSAN. Illus-
trated. Foolscap 8vo, gilt edges. Price 2s.
THE STORY OF OUR DOLL. By Mrs. CUPPLES, Author of
"The Little Captain," &c. With Forty Engravings. Fools-
cap 8vo, cloth. Price 2s. 6d.
THE STORY OF MISS DOLLIKINS. By Mrs. GEORGE CUP-
PLES. A Series of Four Books, each with Six Engravings.
Oblong 32mo, with Fancy Covers. In Packets. Price Is.
GAMES, RIDDLES, AND RHYMES FOR HOME AMUSE-
MENT. With Numerous Illustrations. Small 4to, orna-
mental boards, Price Is. 6d. Cloth extra, illuminated side,
Price 2s. 6d.
ILLUSTRATED BOOK OF NURSERY RHYMES AND
SONGS. With Music. Edited by T. L. HATELY. The
Illustrations by KEELEY HALSWELLE. Small 4to, illumi-
nated side. Price 2s. 6d
ILLUSTRATED BOOK OF SONGS FOR CHILDREN. Edited
by H. L. L., one of the Authors of "Hymns from the Land
of Luther." The Music arranged by T. L. HATELY. Crowa
8vo, illuminated side. Price 2s. 6d.
T NELSON AND SONS, LONDON, EDINBURGH, AND NEW YORT
STORIES WITH A PURPOSE,
HOPE ON; or, The House that Jack Built. With Coloured
Frontispiece and Vignette, and 20 Engravings. Royal 18mo,
cloth. Price Is.
BY THE SAME AUTHOR.
At One Shilling and Sixpence each.
Illustrated with Coloured Frontispiece and Vignette, and
1. BROTHER REGINALD'S GOLDEN SECRET.
2. THE FISHERMAN'S CHILDREN; or, The Sunbeam of Hard-
S. KING JACK OF HAYLANDS. A Tale of School Life.
1. SUSY'S FLOWERS; or, Blessed are the MercifuL"
At One Shilling each,
Illustrated with Coloured Frontispiece and Vignette, and
1. LITTLE AGGIE'S FRESH SNOW-DROPS, and what they did
in One Day.
2 MARTHA'S HOME, and how the Sunshine came into it.
3. THE BOY ARTIST. A Tale.
BOOKS OF EXAMPLE AND ENCOURAGEMENT FOR BOYS.
THE BOY MAKES THE MAN: A.Book of Anecdotes and
Examples for the use of Youth. By W. H. DAVENPORT
ADAMS. Illustrated. Foolscap 8vo, cloth. Price 2s.
WHAT SHALL I BE? or, A Boy's Choice of a Trade. Fools-
cap 8vo, cloth. Price 2s.
TOM TRACY; or, Whose is the Victory? Illustrated. Post
8vo, cloth. Price ls. 6d.
NED'S MOTTO; or, Little by Little. A Tale for Boys. By the
Author of "Win and Wear," &c. Foolscap 8vo, cloth.
Price Is. 6d.
FRANK MARTIN; or, The Trials of a Country Boy. Illus-
trated. Foolscap 8vo, cloth. Price Is. 6d.
THE ROCKET; or, The Story of the Stephensons, Father and
Son. A Book for Boys. By H. C. KNIGHT. Foolscap 8vo,
cloth. Price ls.
SELF-TAUGHT MEN: JAMES WATT, Captain COOK, Sir HUM-
PHREY DAVY, &c. &C. 18mo, cloth. Price Is. 6d.
T. NELSON AIND SONS, LONDON, EDINBURGH, AND NEW YORK.
- - - - - - - S!