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THE TROTTY BOOK.BYELIZABETH. STUART PHELPS.SBOSTON:JAMES R. OSGOOD AND COMPANY,LATE TICKNOR & FIELDS, AND FIELDS, OSGooD, & Co.1872.
.*4Entered according to act of Congress, in the year 1869, byFIELDS, OSGOOD, & CO.,in the Clerk's Office of the District Court for the District of Massachusetts.UNIVERSITY PRESS: WELCH, BIGELOW, & CO.,CAMBRIDGE.
* CONTENTS.------c--CHAPTER I.PAGETHE CHRISTMAS CHAPTER 1CHAPTER II.A POUND OF GINGER-SNAPS . 14CHAPTER III.DR. TROTTY .26CHAPTER IV.THE REVEREND MR. TROTTY 37CHAPTER V.Miss PUMPKIN'S SCHOOL 50CHAPTER VI.LILL'S HOUSEKEEPING 62CHAPTER VII.NITA'S SECOND COUSIN 75CHAPTER VIII.TROTTY GETS MARRIED . 85A
iv CONTENTS.CHAPTER IX.AND DESERTS HIS WIFE 93CHAPTER X.BEING A KITTY 96CHAPTER XI.STORIES 107CHAPTER XII.TROTTY'S LETTER TO THE PEOPLE THAT READ THE TROTTY BOOK 115
LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS.TROTTY LOST IN THE WOODS Frontispiece.INITIAL. Page 1INITIAL 14GINGER-SNAPS 20INITIAL 26DR. TROTTY .. 34INITIAL 37TROTTY AT CHURCH .. 42INITIAL 50TROTTY AT SCHOOL .. 59INITIAL 62TROTTY'S LETTER OPEN 68TROTTY'S LETTER -SEALED 69FEATHERS AND MOLASSES 73INITIAL 75THE LOST FOUND 81INITIAL .. 85THE MARRIAGE SERVICE 874
vi LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS.INITIAL 93SET TO DRY 94INITIAL 96TROTTY'S DREAM 99INITIAL 07TELLING STORIES 111INITIAL 115TROTTY'S POSTSCRIPT .115" JEREUSELIMM 117"JEREUSELIMM BERRYD " 118~ I
THE TROTTY BOOK.CHAPTER I.THE CHRISTMAS CHAPTER.1 HIS is a story of a little girl who__ I was going to have a Christmas-tree,i ~and forgot all about it.S^ She was very much like all otherlittle girls, I suppose. She liked to,_,ii twist up her hair in curl-papers, andwear red lacings in her boots, andred ribbons around her net. SheSliked to play " House," and readfairy-stories, and cut up her moth-er's bonnet-ribbons to dress littlesnips of china dolls. She liked to" break friendships," and " have secrets "; she " hated" towrite compositions; she particularly enjoyed having her ownway; and her name was Lill.One Christmas morning Trotty woke her up very early.You would like to know who Trotty was? Well, it is not1
2 THE TROTTY BOOK.an easy thing to say exactly. Grandmother says that he isa little pink daisy; his brother Max pronounces him a hum-bug; Lill insists that he is a monkey; and his mother willhave it that he is a dew-drop. Biddy inclines to the beliefthat he is a blessing; Patrick denominates him the plague ofhis life; while Cousin Ginevra, who has been to boarding-school and wears long curls, has several times informed methat he is such a little darling! Between so many conflictingopinions, it is somewhat difficult to classify him.At any rate, whatever he was, he had seen the Mayflowersgrow pink, and the tassels of silk hang from the rustlingcorn, and the blood-red maple-leaves fall, and the snow-flakesmelt on his pretty, pink hand, three times. He had seenthree mysterious Christmas eves, three merry Christmasmornings, and three sleepy Christmas nights, and he didn'tremember a thing about them. This Christmas was thefourth, and he meant to remember this, and he did.His hair was as brown as a chestnut, and his eyes wereas blue as a September sky after a thunder-shower; hismouth looked like a ripe strawberry, and the corners of italways turned up,-except when he was politely declinedaccess to the sugar-barrel, or grandmother expressed a rq-luctance to have him cut up her best caps for " hankerchersfor Trotty," or Max refused him the harmless luxury ofadding his notes and comments to the college copy ofHomer with a quill pen and the blackest ink in the house,- when they turned obviously the other way, and had a
THE CHRISTMAS CHAPTER. 3hard time of it getting up again. When he laughed, itsounded like water falling into a silver basin; and whenhe cried, it did n't sound like that at all. When he talked,you would have thought it was a whole nest of blackbirdschattering; and when he walked, it was like rain-drops onthe roof. And when he teased for apple-sauce!Besides, he had a dimple, and his name was -I am sureI do not know. Not Trotty, probably, in the original; but,whatever it was, I think that every one must have forgottenby this time. Perhaps it was Timothy or Tryphenius orTiglath-pileser.The most remarkable thing about Trotty was his u-bi-qui-tous-ness. That is a long word, and you have n't the leastidea what it means. If your eight fingers, and your twothumbs, and your two fists, and your two elbows are largeenough to hold Mr. Webster's Dictionary, I advise you tolook it out. But you would like to have me save you thetrouble ?Well, then, it means that, if you shut Trotty into the parlor,and hurried up stairs to have a few moments' peace in yourown room, Trotty was on the landing before you. It meansthat, if you put him into your room, and whisked down stairsand looked up, there were his copper toes sticking throughthe banisters. It means that, if you spirited yourself upgarret when he was looking the other way, there was a greatclattering on the bare floor, and there was Trotty. It meansthat, if you seceded into the garden, there was a patter on4
4 THE TROTTY BOOK.the walk, and there was Trotty again. It means that every-where that any body went, Trotty was sure to go.They were Trotty's feet which woke Lill on that Christmasmorning. She heard them in her dreams tapping on the oil-cloth by the wash-stand, and she opened one eye, and sawthe sky all on fire with such a sunrise as does not come everyday in the year; Trotty outlined against it, perched on achair by the window, his ten little pink toes peeping outlike ten little pink shells from the edge of his white night-gown." Why, Trotty Tyrol! you will catch your death. Bundleinto bed as fast as ever you can! But what a nice day it isgoing to be, not a cloud to be seen anywhere! "" Ye-es, there is a cloud anywheres," chattered Trotty, whowas beginning to be cold. "There 's a little black cloud juston top of Mr. Deacon Jones's barn.""Where ? 0, that is n't anything."" 0 no," echoed Trotty, confidentially, " that is n't any-thing. I guess Christmas has come a purpose, don't you,Lill ?"Who would have thought just how much " a purpose " thatChristmas was, or that neither Trotty nor Lill will forget thatlittle black cloud as long as they live ?The sun swept kindling up and on, till the fire that lay lowon the horizon opposite Trotty's eastern window had set the.whole world ablaze; the smooth, crusted snow flashed underit, till one could not look for blindness; the icicles from the
THE CHRISTMAS CHAPTER. 5trees were tossing on the wind like broken rainbows; andTrotty went out and let them fall into his mouth, and intohis curls, and into his neck, and into his little white mittens,and tried to rub the sunbeams out of his eyes; and tried toget to the front gate before the wind did, and could n't under-stand where his feet went to when he fell down, and wassurer than ever that Christmas had come " a purpose." Allthe while, the little black cloud was hiding behind DeaconJones's barn, and nobody thought anything about it.By twelve o'clock there was no little cloud at all. A great,dull, ugly duskiness had crept over Mr. Jones's roof, andseemed to be trying to put the world out, just as you put anextinguisher on a candle.Now you must know that Lill's Christmas-tree was shut upin the parlor, waiting for night, and its glories of coloredcandle-light; that Trotty would keep rattling the latch, open-ing the door the fraction of a crack to squeeze in the tip endof his nose and one pink cheek, agonizing on tip-toe topeep in at the keyhole, and hammering to get in, till his fistswere black and blue; that he had been commanded, threat-ened, enticed, and deluded out of the vicinity just fifteentimes that morning, and was back again hammering, rattling,squeezing, and peeping, within five minutes, each separateand individual time ; that, as a consequence, the family mindwas relieved when Lill proposed, after dinner, that they shouldgo out and coast." Only I am almost afraid it will storm," said her mother,looking at the dusky cloud.4
6 THE TROTTY BOOK." Why, it would n't ever go and storm on Christmas!"said Lill." It would n't never storm Christmas," repeated Trotty,who always thought he must say everything that Lill did.So Lill put on her hood with the blue silk lining and thetassel behind, and grandmother kept Trotty still long enoughto get him into his little scarlet gaiters, and his bits of fleece-lined snow-boots, and his flannel coat, and his red. tippet, andhis tiny mittens with a red border on the wrists, and his jockeycap with the Scotch-plaid velvet trimming, and everybodykissed him all round, as if he had been going off for a yearin Europe, to which Trotty, brought up to believe that thedispensations of Providence are inscrutable, resigned himselfwith fortitude. When his mother called him back afte&rthey had started, to kiss his eyes, " because they looked solike papa's to-day," Trotty made no remarks, but I am inclinedto think that the iron on that occasion entered his soul. Atleast, he informed Lill in confidence, on the way over toGertie's, that he " did n't see why peoples could n't kiss Biddyor Grandma just as well; and when he was as big as Max,would Cousin Ginevra have to keep calling him her littledarling ?"Gertie was Lill's most particular, confidential, intimate,and eternal friend. Last week it was Jane De Witt; butJane De Witt had given a stick of barley candy to Lou Hol-lis, and Lill had n't bowed at recess for three whole days.The week before, it was Molly Gibbs; but Molly had told
THE CHRISTMAS CHAPTER. 7somebody, who told somebody else, who told Gertie, whotold Lill, that she (Molly) believed that she (Lill) was" real proud " of that quilted blue silk in her hood, and nowMolly and Lill were sworn enemies. Next week, Gertiewould go overboard. Lill usually went the rounds of theschool about twice a term.There was some sunlight left, in spite of the creepingcloud, and Trotty trudged along after Lill and Gertie, tuggedhis sled over the walls, stuck fast trying to crawl through thefences, and invariably fell on his nose when he fell down, butsucceeded in reaching Long Hill without having lost any-thing but his tippet, one mitten, and a handkerchief, andcoasted under the broken rainbows and over the blazingcrust, the whole long afternoon.You ought to have seen him! He would always slidedown hill with his mouth open, and climb up with his eyesshut; and he had just about as much of an idea how to steeras a canary-bird. He would insist on dragging both his feetalong the crust: he wore three holes in his snow-boots inthat one afternoon. His sled would spin round like a top,and he would roll off like a bundle, and pick himself up, andspin round and roll off again. Then, when his feet becamecold, he began to cry, and told Lill that there was somethingin his boot which hurt him, that was all the little monkeyknew!But for all that he had a very good time, and so did Lilland Gertie, so good that they had forgotten all about the
8 THE TROTTY BOOK.stealing cloud; it had stolen all over the sky; the rainbowswere gone, the blaze of the flashing crust had died out likeashes, and a thick whirl of snow-flakes had been whiteningthe air for some time before they found it out." Ow !" said Trotty, at last, with a gasp, " look a-here, -there 's a snow-storm goin' down my froat! "" So there is, as true as you live," said Lill, stopping short." Did you ever ? "" It 's cold as Greenland too," shivered Gertie, " and I dobelieve it 's after supper-time. Let 's us run home as fast asever we can."" Yes, let 's. I 'm tired of coasting."" I 'm tired of coasting, too. I wished I could get thisstone out of my boot," moaned Trotty.So off they started across the fields. Now they were along mile's walk from home,-a half-mile from the openroad; there were fences to climb, and a patch of woods tocross; the wind was rising fast, the snow was thickeningfaster, and it began to be hard work."Hurry up, Trotty," said Lill, growing cross. "What alittle slow-poke you are! Come along! "Trotty came along as fast as he could come ; but his littlelegs were so short, and his little feet were so small, that hecould not keep up. Lill had to wait for him, and Lill wasgrowing cold. " Trotty Tyrol, what a bgother you are I dowish I could ever go anywhere without you tagging after.There! run now, or I '11 go home without you."
THE CHRISTMAS CHAPTER." 0 yes," said tired Trotty, starting afresh. " I '11 run velyfast. My feets are so heavy! I wish you'd take hold o' myhand, Lill!"But Lill had both hands in her sack-pockets to keep themwarm, and she pretended not to hear. The wind. bit Trotty's.bare fingers, and the snow fell on them.It grew dark very fast." If it were n't for that everlasting little Trotty, we shouldbe home," said Lill to Gertie, just loud enough for Trotty tohear. " I do believe we shall be late to the Tree. I 've agood mind to go on without him."Trotty's under-lip quivered and grieved. Lill, as she ranalong, heard him pattering faster behind her. " I '11 try notto be an everlasting little Trotty Please to don't go hometo Christmas without me."Lill did not look back. If she had she would have seena purple fist rubbing two great tears out of two great eyes.But it was growing darker.The snow whirled into their faces and blinded them. Thesharp wind whistled and stung. Trotty gulped down the twotears, and trudged on manfully; but he fell farther behind,and farther, and Lill ran on." Hurry up, Trotty, hurry! " she called, without turningher head. I really do not think that she knew how far be-hind he was. "I can't wait for you any longer. You knowthe way home, and you can come right along. You'd betterbe quick if you want any of the Tree."I
10 THE TROTTY BOOK.Trotty slipped upon the icy crust, and dragged his tiredfeet along, and slipped again, and fell, and clambered up, andhurried on, in a perfect little agony of terror. He was in thepatch of woods now; the shadows of the trees were dark;the whistle of the wind was shrill." Lill, wait for me Wa-it for me "But Lill ran on." Lill! Li-ill! Lil-ly! Wait for Trotty! Please to waitfor Trotty, Lill! "But Lill did not hear. The snow was pelting into Trotty'seyes: he could hardly see her now." Lill, I've got somefin to tell yer, I 've got somefin totell yer, Lill! "But Lill was out of sight now.Trotty tried once more, his little piping voice choking intosobs: " It 's somefin real nice, Lill! 0 Lill, do let Trottygo home to Christmas! "Nothing answered him but the long, loud shriek of thewind, sweeping over the hills, and through the trees. Trottystopped running, and stood still.It was now quite dark. The low branches of the pinesshut out of sight the ash-like whiteness of the fields, wherethe last light lingered faintly, but did not shut out the storm.The feathery flakes of snow had turned to sleet that stungTrotty's cheeks like needles, and thrust itself into his eyeslike knives. He could not see the path; he could not seethe sky; he had stuffed his blue fingers into his mouth, and
THE CHRISTMAS CHAPTER. 11into his curls, and down his neck, but he could not makethem warm; the fleece-lined boots had grown as cold as thesnow that was drifting up about them; the little flannel coatand scarlet gaiters could not shut out the bitter wind. Thewide winter night was settling down, Trotty's Christmasnight." Lill, come back!" called poor little Trotty, trampingfeebly on. He did not know, he could not see, where he wasgoing. '"I '11 be a good boy, Lill. I won't be a bover anymore. I 'll run real fast. I won't tag after. 0, why don'tsomebody come after Trotty "But nobody came after Trotty, and he was growing verycold." Why, Lill, where is Trotty ?""O, just behind us somewhere. He was so slow, andwe Why! he is n't "The house was very dark. Nobody had thought to lightthe lamps. Supper was on the table, untasted. The fire wasdying in the grate. Grandmother sat by it, trying to knit,but something was the matter with her eyes, and she had togive it up. Up in the corner, in the dark, some one wascrouched alone, shrinking all into a heap on the floor. Itwas Lill. She had not said a word. She had tried morethan once to cry out, " O grandma! do you think they willfind him ? Will Trotty freeze to death ? Grandma! grand-ma! I wish I could go too, and tell him I am sorry."
12 THE TROTTY BOOK.But the words would not come. She could not remindanybody that she was there. She would rather be forgotten.She said nothing, but she thought much.She thought of Trotty, playing about in the morning in hisnightgown, throwing pillows at her, his hair tumbled all overhis face, she had been cross to him sometimes in thosepillow-fights, of Trotty in the scarlet gaiters and jockey-cap and tiny mittens, making snowballs in the front yard,-of Trotty's eyes and cheeks and funny little flat nose, peeringin " to fighten grandma " through the low piazza window, -of Trotty at the sugar-barrel, the molasses-jug, the preserve-closet, of the mischief in his face, of his dimple. Whatif she never saw that dimple any more ? She thought ofTrotty trudging out with her that afternoon, when his " feetswere heavy." It was a long walk for such bits of feet: sheshould have thought,'- 0, she should have thought!She thought of Trotty climbing up the hill in the sunshine,and rolling off the sled, of the bitter wind, and Trottytramping home through the storm, of his faint voice call-ing after her: " Wait for Trotty, Lill! Wa-it!" But shehad not waited. Poor little voice!And if it should never ask Lill to wait again? If Lillshould never have any chance to tell him that he was not abother ? If he should go up to Heaven and tell the angelsthat Lill called him an everlasting little Trotty ?" Hark " said grandmother. " What's that ?"It was the clink of the front gate. It was the door thrown
THE CHRISTMAS CHAPTER. 13open. It was the tread of Max upon the floor, his voice,- his mother's; but no other. They came in all coveredwith snow. Max had a bundle in his arms, and that wascovered with snow; but it was very still.Lill did a queer thing. She turned around, with her faceto the corner, and put her hands before her eyes. She saidafterwards that she did not dare to look.But all at once the bundle sat up straight." I want my supper " said a voice that was as much like"Trotty's as any voice could be.This is how Lill came to forget her Christmas-Tree. Butthen it was just as good for to-morrow night.4
14 THE TROTTY BOOK.,CHAPTER II.A POUND OF GINGER-SNAPS.' HERE is so much more about Trotty that I"hardly know where to begin; but, after,, ,, having devoted just about a year's study to': the subject, I am inclined to take the Gin-I:'l'i'f); "' ger-snap Story.- If it had not been ironing-day, there' never would have been such a story to tell.. But then it was ironing-day, so it is ofno use to say anything about that.Trotty was sitting on the ironing-table too.Trotty felt the responsibilities of ironing-day. Nobodyknows how he felt them. The labors of his mother andBiddy were nothing in comparison. In the first place, therewere his pocky-hankychers " to be ironed. 0 those poorlittle pocky-hankychers! He used to crawl up behind theclothes-basket, and pull them out of his pockets (Trotty hadtwo pockets) one by one till he came to the end, and therewere always at least three or four. Such a sight as theywere! All rolled up, and twisted up, and tied up, andsqueezed up, and as for the color! Well, Trotty picked
A POUND OF GINGER-SNAPS. 15all his dandelions, and all his fox-berries, and all his flag-root.in them; watered his flowers, fed his chickens, brushed hisshoes, and made his mud-pies with them, so perhaps you canhave some idea of the color. I don't believe you can, though.Nothing would do but that Biddy must heat his little iron, -it was n't much larger than a table-spoon, nor hotter thanfresh milk, and let him iron every one of those handker-chiefs to his entire satisfaction. A washed one, fresh fromthe pile on the window-sill, did not answer the purpose at all.Then he must always have his shoe-strings pressed out.Then there was Jerusalem. Jerusalem must, I think, havebeen remotely connected with the Flat-head Indians, thoughhe was in skin an Ethiopian, and in temper quite harmless.Compounded from one of grandmother's ravelled stockings,Lill's old black silk apron, and the cotton-wool bag, Jerusa-lem possessed, in the beginning, an ample supply of brains;but Trotty bored a gimlet-hole in the top of his head one day,and pulled them out. Jerusalem, however, did not appear tosuffer seriously from this treatment; and the little black silkbag which was left answered the purpose of a head to himquite as well as some fuller ones have done in the course ofthis world's history. The only inconvenience about it wasthe slight one of having your face lop down on your neckwhenever anybody shook you a little. Jerusalem felt it quitea comfort to be flattened out.So Trotty ironed him every Tuesday afternoon.On this afternoon, he had finished the handkerchiefs and
16 THE TROTTY BOOK.the shoe-strings, and was ready to devote all his energies toJerusalem, when Biddy dropped her flat-iron and jumped." Ow!" said Trotty; for the iron fell plump upon Jerusa-lem's face, and scorched it to a delicate smoky brown fromforehead to chin. Jerusalem bore it manfully, and did notso much as wink. Trotty compassionately stuck him head-first into the sprinkling-bowl, and left him there to cool." Shure an' it's the baker goin' by on me up the street,"said Biddy, running to the window ; " there 's not a crumb ofcake in the house for supper the night, an' it's your motheras told me to stop him, bless my soul! Rin out now, Trotty,and holler afther him, there 's a good boy! "Trotty, never loath to " rin out and holler" for any cause,preped to obey; but the baker's cart had turned the corner,and the jingling of his bells was growing faint. Biddy wentto report to her mistress, and Trotty, having hung Jerusalemon the door-latch by his head, trotted along after her, to findout what was going to happen." Well," said his mother, " there is no way now but tosend to the Deacon's for some ginger-snaps."Trotty beat a soft retreat. But his shoes squeaked, -Trotty's shoes always did squeak,-so everybody heardhim." Come, Trotty !"" O, I don't want to," said Trotty, briskly, backing off."But mother wants you to. Come! see how quick youcan be. You would n't want to go without any cake forsupper, you know."
A POUND OF GINGER-SNAPS. 17" Biddy can bake me some cake. I should like to know ifthat is n't what God made her for! " said Trotty, with de-cision." No; Biddy can't bake cake on ironing-days; she has toomuch else to do. Now, which would you rather do, -gowithout the ginger-snaps, or go to the Deacon's ? "" Have Lill go," said Trotty, looking bright.As Trotty's mother had a habit of meaning what she said,Lill did not go, and Trotty did. He jammed his little strawhat over his curls in a melancholy manner, back side in front,with the blue ribbons hanging down into his eyes, took Jeru-salem down from the door-latch, looked unutterable things atBiddy, slammed the door severely, and trudged away throughthe dust to call for Nat, talking impressively to himse:1" Now I don't care She need n't have went and made meget her old ginger "" One pound, remember!" called his mother from thehouse; " and you and Nat may have one apiece."Trotty's spirits rose. He called Nat out, and told himabout that; and Nat said that it was " bully," and Trottythought so too. On the whole, he began to be very glad thathe was not at home ironing Jerusalem. Jerusalem himselfseemed to be quite of the opinion that he had had ironingenough for one week; what with the scorching, and thedrowning, and the hanging, he was in rather a depressedstate of mind. Thinking to encourage him, Trotty carriedhim by the head awhile.2
18 THE TROTTY BOOK.It took Trotty and Nat a long time to go to the Deacon's.It never took Trotty and Nat anything but a long time to goanywhere. They dug wells in every sand-bank, and sailedchips on every mud-puddle, and knocked the stones off fromevery wall, and covered themselves with pitch on every wood-pile, and made friends with every kitty, and ran away fromevery puppy, and picked every dandelion that they cameacross, to say nothing of Jerusalem; for Jerusalem couldbe an elephant, and Jerusalem could be a mouse, and Jeru-salem excelled in the character of a horse-car or a steamboat.Jerusalem was unequalled as a telegraph-wire and a fish-hook; he could be buried, could be married, could be a min-ister and an apple-pie; made such a Daniel in the den ofl* is that the lions never would have known the difference;and in the capacity of Jeff Davis on a sour-apple tree hasnever been thought, by more impartial minds than Trotty's,to have a rival.Much to Jerusalem's relief, they came to the Deacon's atlast, and Trotty climbed the high wooden steps, and stood ontiptoe, so that the end of his nose and the top of his curlsjust showed above the counter, and hammered away for awhile with his little brown fists, till the Deacon heard him.How he opened his eyes and mouth, while the Deacon's boyweighed out a pound of brown, round, crisp, fresh, sweetginger-snaps!" 0 my! " said Nat." Wait a minute," said Trotty; "mother told me to sharge'em."
A POUND OF GINGER-SNAPS. 19So Trotty took the ginger-snaps, and waited about; andthe Deacon's boy was busy, and did not notice him." What does it mean to have 'em charged ? " asked Nat, ina hungry whisper, after they had walked drearily about thestore for five minutes. Trotty shook his head. He had anidea of his own, I 'm sure I do not know how he came byit, -that he was to carry home a paper with something writ-ten on it, and that the Deacon was to write it for him, but hedid not feel quite sure, and did not dare to ask. So he andNat walked back and forth, and began to feel very hungryand very homesick." Hulloa! " said the Deacon, presently, " why what's thematter ?"" Mother wants 'em sharged," said Trotty, half ready tocry, but looking as important as he knew how." 0," said the Deacon, " they 're all sharged' long ago.Run along! "Trotty ran along in some perplexity. He had a vague im-pression that either he or the Deacon had made a mistake,but I doubt if he knows which, to this day.Out again in the sunlight and the yellow dust, among thestone-walls and the dandelions, he and Nat opened thepaper.Think of it, -a pound of ginger-snaps, and nobody to beseen among the stone-walls and dandelions but Trotty andNat! Nobody to look on, all the way home, and nothing butginger-snaps away down to the bottom of that big paper bag
20 THE TROTTY BOOK.0 you great grown-up people who talk about " temptations,"think of it!"J-j-j-est look a there !" stammered excited Nat, hardlyable to put one word straight after the other; for Nat did nothave a ginger-snap very often."Mother said I might have one, and you might have one,an' we might bof two of us have one," said Trotty, graciously.So he put in his dainty, dimpled fingers, and felt all abouttill he found the largest two ginger-snaps in the brown bag.O, well, to think how they tasted! Trotty nibbled his upin little bites about as big as a canary's, and felt the sunshineall about, and heard a, bluebird singing as she hopped alongon the wall, and wondered in his secret heart though thishe did not say to Nat whether there would be any Dea-con up in heaven; if he would keep ginger-snaps; if youcould go down there some afternoon, and just eat all youwanted.By and by the ginger-snap was all nibbled away." 0, see here !" said Trotty, abstractedly; " don't you wishpeoples had n't any mammas, Nat ? "" Let's look in and see if they 're all safe, you know," sug-gested Nat, after some thought.Trotty opened the paper in a vague way, and peeped in." I 'd like to look and see how safe they are," said Nat.So Nat looked to see how safe they were." Wonder if there 's a hundred of 'em," observed Nat,putting just the tips of his fingers over just the edge of thepaper.
V-- ---SNGER-SNAPS.r; h'N
A POUND OF GINGER-SNAPS. 21" 0, I guess there 's more 'n that; there 's as many as fif-teen, I should n't wonder," said Trotty.Presently he opened the bag again, and took out two ginger-snaps again."I don't b'lieve she 'd care if we had two ones, Nat."" That must 'a' been what she meant," exclaimed Nat.But something was the matter with that ginger-snap;Trotty thought that it did not taste as good as the other."I guess this one '11 taste better, you see. Free is n't agreat many more 'n one, is it, Nat ? "Nat felt positive on that point. He did n't think that fourwere a greatmany more, either." Look here," said Trotty, after a while, " I 'm glad mam-ma is n't God."" Why ? " asked Nat." 'Cause then she 'd just have to be round everywherelooking on."The bluebird had stopped singing, and the sunshine ranaway, as fast as it could, to hide behind a cloud."Where 's Trotty ? " asked everybody, when supper-timecame; for nobody ever knew Trotty to fail of being on handat supper-time." Trotty, Trotty Trotty Tyrol! Kitty Clover Little pinkDai-sy! Trotty Teaser "Lill went up stairs and down, shouting a few dozen ofTrotty's names; to tell you all the names that Trotty hadwould take a separate chapter.
22 THE TROTTY BOOK.Lill looked in the attic; she looked in the cellar; shesearched the wood-shed; she peered into the refrigerator." Why, what has become of the child? ""I '11 look myself," said his mother, coming up. " Trot-ty!"" Yes 'urm " said Trotty, faintly, from somewhere. Andwhere do you suppose it was ? His mother came into theentry by the linen-closet, and went up to the tall clothes-basket that stood in the corner, and peeped in. There satTrotty all curled up in a little heap at the bottom, with hiselbows on his knees and his chin in his hands." Could n't get out," said Trotty, meekly, looking up fromthe depths." But what did you get in for ?"" O, I was a fish, and fell down the well, I guess," saidTrotty, stopping to think; " don't want any supper. I thinkyou must be hungry, mamma; you 'd better go down, youknow."But mamma did not know. She fished him out somewhatgravely, and put him down upon the floor." We are all at supper now, and waiting for Trotty. Whereare the ginger-snaps ? Did you forget them ? "" No 'urn."" Well, show me where they are. Come, dear."But Trotty hung back. They were " in the shina-closet,"he said, on the lowest shelf.So somebody went to the "shina-closet." There on the
A POUND OF GINGER-SNAPS.shelf lay a little, a very little, roll of brown paper. It hadbeen a bag once; it was torn now, and twisted up.They brought it to Trotty's mother, and she opened it.Just five ginger-snaps! Everybody looked at everybodyelse." They 've eaten why, did you ever in all your life ? -they 've eaten A POUND! "Lill laughed till the tears came; grandmother said thatthey would die before morning; mamma went sadly up stairs,and found her little fish sitting on the floor beside his well,head hanging, and dimple gone.She took him up in her arms, and looked at him. Trottylifted his great yellow eyelashes just enough to peep throughand get an idea of the state of affairs; then dropped themdown down." Trotty, where are the rest of mother's ginger-snaps? ""The Deacon's pounds ain't -well, they ain't so big asthey used to be," said Trotty, twisting his fingers into eachother. " Sumfin 's the matter with his weighing-thing, Iguess."" No, Trotty; the Deacon gave you a great many more thanyou have brought home, and somebody has eaten the rest.Was it Trotty and Nat ?"" Me and Nat, we eat free," said Trotty, very low." Only three ? But who ate the rest, Trotty ? "" Jerusalem! " said Trotty, after some consideration." Very well; whoever ate the ginger-snaps can't go down
24 THE TROTTY BOOK.stairs any more to-night, but must go to bed and stay alone.Shall I put Jerusalem to bed ?"Trotty opened his eyes rather wide, but said nothing. Hismother put Jerusalem into Trotty's bed, and covered him up,and tucked him in; Jerusalem folded his head quite over onthe counterpane for shame and sorrow." 0, see here !" said Trotty, with a little jump. " It itwas n't Jerusalem, either."Trotty cried himself to sleep that night. But, before hehad cried himself to sleep, his mother came up with his mugof milk, and sat down on the bed. She looked very sober,and said nothing, nor did she kiss him." Mamma," faltered Trotty, presently."What ?"" Trotty "Why, you would have thought his little heart was broken!He had never spent ten unnoticed, unpetted minutes in all hislife before; and I suppose he had settled it in his wretchedlittle thoughts that he never was going to be noticed orpetted or kissed or forgiven." Too bad! " moaned Trotty. " 0, it's too bad !"So he crept up into his mother's arms, he looked like alittle tinted statue, with his nightgown, and bare feet, andwet curls, and grieving, red mouth, and they talked it allover." Will I die ? " asked he, by and by, very sorry and a littlefrightened.
A POUND OF GINGER-SNAPS. 250 no, not now, his mother hoped; but she was afraid hewould be sick to-morrow. Indeed, she had sent Lill to askthe doctor to stop in a moment on his way home; though thatshe did not tell Trotty.Trotty called her back after she had started to go downstairs, and wanted to know " Which would be died first, -me or you or Jerusalem ? "" O, I presume I shall die first; I am the oldest. Come,.Trotty, go to sleep, now, it is very late.""(Mamma--" when she had stepped on the very last stair:and up she must climb again, wearily." Look here, mamma. I should just like to know about it.If you go to heaven first, who 'll shoot me ?"You see, all the dead people that the poor little philosopherknew anything about were two in number. One was hisfather, whose great, blue brave eyes looked down out of thepicture up stairs, and who lay with a bullet in his heart amongthe solemn shadows of Gettysburg. The other was the GoodPresident. Consequently, he had inferred that the only meansof translation from this world to another was by pistol." And, 0 dear! " cried his mother, afterwards, " to thinkthat I should have to be the one to do it !"" A pound of ginger-snaps! A pound of ginger-snaps!"repeated -grandmother at intervals throughout the evening."He certainly will die before morning."Trotty did not, however, die before morning. And, whatis more, -I do not expect to be believed, but it is true,-they never hurt him a bit.
26 THE TROTTY BOOK.CHAPTER III.DR. TROTTY.DON'T think I like the looks of it," saidTrotty, very distinctly.He meant the baby. It was Aunt Mat-thew's baby. Aunt Matthews, and CousinGinevra, and the baby's nurse, and thebaby's trunks, and the baby's carriage, andthe baby's crib, and the baby, were making a visit at Trotty'shouse.They had just gone into the spare chamber to take off theirthings, and Trotty had hopped up stairs on one foot afterthem, with an interested air. It struck him that people weremaking a great fuss over that pink bundle in that freckledwoman's lap, -kissing it, and squeezing it, and feeling of itsfingera, and chucking it under the chin; saying how it hadgrown! and how much it looked like papa! and what a littledear it was! and see it laughing at you! He wonderedwhether, if he were a pink bundle in a freckled woman's lap,they would pay so much attention to him." I'm four years old, and I'm going to be five, bime by,"he said, feeling that he had been neglected long enough.But nobody listened.
DR. TROTTY. 27"I 'm four years old. I 've got a tip-cart, and some rub-ber boots," he continued, severely. " I have free griddle-cakes for breakfast, and I eat my supper down stairs."But nobody heard that, either. However painful it may beto inflict a gentle reproof upon one's inferiors, it is undoubt-edly sometimes a necessity. Trotty, with quiet dignity, creptup behind Aunt Matthews, and jerked her by the waterfall." Oh! " said everybody, talking at once," do let Trotty seethe baby. I don't believe he ever saw a baby near enough totouch it in his life."So they made room for Trotty beside the freckled woman,and he examined the pink bundle with attention. It was avery pink bundle. Its flannel cloak was pink; its crochetedsack was pink; its little knit shoes were pink; its ribbonswere pink; its hands were pink; and its face was very pink.It had two great black eyes, a funny little flat nose, no hairto speak of, and no teeth, whether you spoke of them or not.It stared at Trotty for a minute doubtfully; then scowled alittle, scowled a little more, scowled very much, wrinkled,writhed, twisted, grew red, grew purple, opened its mouthwide, and screamed at him, then doubled its fists close, andpunched him in the face." You frighten her, the blessed little dear!" said AuntMatthews." I don't wonder," said Lill; "you've been to the sirup-pitcher, and the quince-jar, and the sugar-bowl, and the apple-barrel, since you washed your face last, to say nothing of the
28 THE TROTTY BOOK.red crayon mark on your neck, and the black one on yournose. You've been at my paint-box, too, I know from thegamboge streak on your forehead, and the pea-green on thatfront curl."" No," repeated Trotty, with decision, as he was marchedoff to the wash-bowl, " I don't like the looks of it, and ifGod can't find a better-looking baby than that for me, whenI 'm a man, he need n't throw me down any! "But by and by the baby had had a nap, and felt better, andTrotty had been washed, and looked better. So they culti-vated each other's acquaintance a little further. He sat on acricket, and looked at the baby, and the baby sat on the floor,and looked at him." She makes faces at me," he said, after some thought." She puts her shoes in her mouth. She eats up all herfingers. I guess they made her of injun-rubber;' I pinchedher a little to see. She squealed. But then she 'll just fitinto the tip-cart, and when she cries, why don't they fill hermouth all up with sawdust ? It'll go in just as easy! Youle' me get: some and try."In the course of a day or two they were the best of friends.He did take her to side in the tip-cart, and he did fill hermouth with sawdust, and it did go in "just as easy," thoughit was another matter to get it out. Nobody has ever daredto inquire how fully he experimented on that baby. It isknown that he managed to share all his raw apples and hotcookies with her at luncheon-time ; that she cried two nights
DR. TROTTY. 29with colic, in consequence of his feeding her with pickledgrapes ; that he tied her feet together with a tippet, and madea little face with pen and ink upon every one of her tenfinger-nails; that when she was undressed at night she rat-tled and rolled with cold pennies and marbles, that he haddropped down her neck; and that once, when the nurse waslooking the other way, he contrived to lift her into the bath-tub, and turn the faucet on her.But still no serious harm had happened to the child."Trotty had promised never to give her pickles again; he wasvery gentle, and did not tease her, or make her cry, so thegrown people, with a little watching, let them play togetherwhen they would, and so that Saturday afternoon came whenthey took the drive to Pomp's Pond.They all went,,- Aunt Matthews, and Ginevra, and Lill,and Lill's mother, and Max. Grandmother was making calls.Trotty delicately hinted that he would like to go to ride too;but there was no room for Trotty. His mother gave him akiss, and Max gave him a penny, (as if kisses and penniescould make up, O you stupid grown-up men and women! fora ride in mamma's lap, on the front seat, away five milesthrough the sweet pine woods, and by the dimpled water!)and they drove merrily off and left him.Trotty stood still for a minute, and looked after them witha crimson flush all over his little face. But he did not cry,- no, little boys, he did not cry one bit, and I think that wasbetter than half a dozen rides. You don't think so ? No, Iknow it; but it is true for all that.
30 THE TROTTY BOOK.Trotty turned round and went slowly up stairs. Biddy wasin the kitchen, and the baby and Kathleen that was thefreckled woman's pleasant name, and she was a pleasant-looking freckled woman, too were in the nursery. Trottycame in, dragging his toes on the carpet in a melancholymanner, sat down in the corner on top of Jerusalem, and, forabout five minutes, refused to be comforted. Then the babycrept up and pulled his longest curl, it was precisely in themiddle behind, and she could just reach it, and pulled hisfingers, and pulled his shoe-strings, and gurgled at him, andgiggled at him, and crowed at him, and coughed at him, -and in five minutes more he was shoving her under the 'bed,in a rather tight-fitting mending-basket, as vigorously and ashappily as if he had never heard of Pomp's Pond in hislife.By and by the grocer's boy drove into the back yard.Kathleen was sitting by the window, looking out." Trotty," said she, laying down her work, " I've got a dressof me own that wants ironin' for the Sunday. You be a goodboy, now, and don't let nothing happen to the baby, till Icome back."So Kathleen took a pretty light calico of hers from thecloset, threw it jauntily over one arm, tied a blue ribbonaround her waterfall, and went down stairs singing.Presently Trotty was tired of shoving the baby under thebed."O, I tell you," said he, " le' 's play Dr. Trotty. You stay
DR. TROTTY. 31in mending-basket till I get ready, and ven you be a ninfidel,and I '11 come to see you."The baby, not being very well able to offer a contrary opin-ion, stayed in the mending-basket, and Trotty went away tomake a doctor of himself. Up garret in the first place. Heknew something about a long dressing-gown, folded awaycarefully in the blue trunk; he had watched his motherthrough the crack of the door, when she put the camphor init at house-cleaning time, It had been his father's, that softmerino dressing-gown, but Trotty saw in that no reason whyhe should not play Dr. Trotty in it. Of course his prettydead papa would let him! In fact, Trotty had a vague ideathat he must have died before it was worn out on purposethat his little boy might have it that bright spring afternoon.So he pulled it out of the blue trunk (catching it on the lock,and tearing it in three separate and very large places), andcrept into it. It dragged a half-yard on the dusty floorbehind, and it took him the rest of the afternoon to find hisarms; but he managed to make his way down stairs, a stepat a time, and into the medicine-closet.Ugh! that medicine-closet! What ghosts of croup, andmeasles, and green apples, and mince-pie, and "'lixy Pro,"stalked through its dark shelves! Trotty looked about withgreat eyes. He thought what fun it would be to take allthose bottles away in a bushel-basket that he knew of, andjump up and down on them with his leather boots. He laidthe brilliant idea aside, however, for future use, and climbedI
32 THE TROTTY BOOK.up on the drawers, to take down the homoeopathic box thatstood on the lower shelf. It was a neat little well-wornhomoeopathic box, with a great many bits of bottles in it.Most of these were empty, but two of them held a whitepowder, and one of them some dark yellow liquid. Trottytook the box to the great silver pitcher on the dining-roomsideboard, and filled the empty bottles with water, and corkedthem tightly.He put on Max's rubber boots after that; they came nearlyup to his neck. Then he put on Max's tall hat, and thatcame just about to the tops of the boots. Then he put hisbox under his arm, and started for the nursery. He stoppeda moment, and looked at that box. He wondered, with someinterest precisely what his mother was going to say when shecame home.He forgot all about that, though, when he came to go up thestairs. Such a time as he had climbing those stairs! Firsthe trod on the dressing-gown with one foot, and fell flat, andbumped his nose; then he trod on it with the other foot, andfell down and bumped his nose again ; then he trod on it withboth feet, and tripped up, and sat down hard. Then Max'shat slipped down to his neck, 0, how dark it was insidethat hat! and he pushed it up, and it slipped down again,and he jerked it up, and it jerked down; then the longsleeves of the dressing-gown folded up on the outside sothat he lost his fingers altogether, and while he was trying tofind them, down went the hat again; then he dropped the
DR. TROTTY. 33medicine-box, and tipped out all the bottles, and when hestooped to pick them up, down came the' hat; then hetried to climb up on " all fours," and his rubber boots felloff behind and flopped from stair to stair. He sat down indespair to watch them hopping down, when darkness fell,and there was that hat.However, he managed, with a patience worthy of a bettercause, to gain 'the nursery door at last. The baby, in hermending-basket, lay with her face all puckered into a redknot, crying." Good afternoon, mum," said Dr. Trotty. " I 'm sorry tofind you so sick, mum. You should say, How do, you do,Dr. Trotty ?' and let me see your tongue."This, by the way, was a most unnecessary remark, for onecould see, not only the baby's tongue, but .three quarters ofthe way down the baby's screaming throat. Trotty liftedher out of the basket, and gravely put one of Lill's dolls'pewter spoons into her mouth. He had n't the shadow ofan idea what for, you know; but he had seen Dr. Bryonia"use a spoon when Max had the diphtheria, and he supposedthat it was the proper thing to do. The baby did n't like thetaste of the spoon, and sputtered and wriggled and screamedharder than ever." Your-tongue is quite serious, mum," said Dr. Trotty, -" quite serious. And your pulps," he pinched her rightelbow several times,- " your pulps, mum, is horrid! You'llhave to be a good boy, and take this medicine, -I mean3
34 THE TROTTY BOOK.girl, and not kick the tumbler over, like I did the day afterI got at the sardine-box, and so you 'll get well, you see,and have some candy."He filled the pewter spoon from the, bottles of water, andgave the baby a dose. This was very easy, you see, becauseher mouth was open so wide that all he had to do was to putthe spoon in and tip it over; she was crying so hard thatshe must either swallow it, or choke. Trotty found the pro-cess quite entertaining.By and by he did not care about feeding her with a spoonany more; she had stopped crying, and the fun was gone." I s'pose you'11 have to take a whole bottleful this time,"he said hopefully. " You might die, if you did n't, 'n' whenI tip it bottom up'ards, it comes out just as cunning! -yousee, now!"Just as he put his hand into the box to take out one of thebottles of water, that hat went down to his shoulders. In thedark he emptied the bottle down the baby's throat. In thedark he heard her gasp and cry out. When he pushed upthe hat 0 the poor baby the poor baby it was not thebottle of water that he had given her, but the bottle nearlyempty now of yellow medicine. Across the yellow bottlea yellow label was pasted, and on it in distinct, black letterswas a word which Trotty could not read, Aconite.Kathleen was just telling the grocer's boy what a saucyfellow he was, when .the kitchen door opened slowly, and avery white little face peeped in, under a great hat.
fin.W~a r e .a~ <_ ... L- _____________________________'-___ ..\par, .dloll'Jill_ RDR. TROTTY.
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DR. TROTTY. 35"You'd better come up to the baby," it said faintly;" she's squealin' and kickin' all in a heap on the floor. Wewere playing Dr. Trotty, and -"" 0 my good gracious! " Kathleen ran up stairs, threesteps at a time, and her face was as white as the baby's littledoctor's when she came to where the baby lay.The carryall drove into the yard just as the grocer's boywas driving out. Kathleen's sobs came down through theopen. window, and the baby's gasping scream. Aunt Mat-thews was up stairs in less time than it takes to say so.Kathleen was wringing her helpless hands. Trotty, extin-guished by his hat, sat behind the bed, and the baby, inconvulsions, was writhing on the floor. The cry ranthrough the house: " Poisoned! Poisoned! Oh the baby'spoisoned!"Then there was the sound of Max galloping for Dr. Bry-onia, -of Dr. Bryonia galloping back,- of quick orders,and sobs, and cries, and steps running to and fro. By andby, silence, and Dr. Bryonia coming slowly down stairs, anddriving slowly away.They hunted all over the house for poor little Dr. Trotty.His mother found at last, in a corner, a queer little figure, allhat and boots, sitting with his face to the wall." Trotty," said she.He made no answer." Trotty, the baby-"Trotty tumbled into her lap, hat and boots and all, andburied his face under her arm.
36 THE TROTTY BOOK." O, I did n't mean to. kill her, I did n't mean to kill her!O mamma, mamma, mamma! I was only going to be Dr.Trotty, and ve homeopoptic box got tipped about, and ve oldhat fell down, and ven sumfin was 'e matter to her all toonce, and-" Why, Trotty, hush! the baby is n't dead. There, don'tcry so! Dr. Bryonia has given her some medicine, and hethinks God won't let her die now. Come! put both yourhands in mother's, and we 'll kneel right down here andthank Him! "
THE REVEREND MR. TROTTY. 37CHAPTER IV.THE REVEREND MR. TROTTY.S- NE Sunday it rained. Not that it- never rained on any other of Trot-c ty's Sundays, but that it did rain"that especial Sunday.Trotty sat on the window-sill, -it was a narrow window-sill, and heS kept slipping off with a little jerk,and climbing up and slipping off,--feeling of the sash with his eye-Sla sh e s a n d fl a tte n in g h is n o s e o n___ the glass. Great drops splashedand splattered down the panes;little puddles stood on the sill; the trees blew about; theroad was wet, and the mud was deep." Come, Trotty," said Lill." Yes," said Trotty." Come, Trotty," said his mother, five minutes later." Yes 'um," said Trotty; but he did not move." He 's watching for Mr. Hymnal," exclaimed Lill; " it islate for him ; I wonder where he is."
88 THE TROTTY BOOK.Mr. Hymnal was going to preach that day; he drove overfrom East Bampton on an exchange; he was to dine withTrotty's mother, and Trotty felt burdened with the entireresponsibility of him." I declare " exclaimed his mother, at the end of anotherfive minutes. "There 's the bell this moment, and Trottymust have his jacket changed, and his boots blacked, and hishair brushed, and his coat sponged. I sent him to wash hishands just three quarters of an hour ago. Has n't touchedthem? I presume not. Nor found that blue ribbon yet,either, have you, Trotty ? The little blue bow, you know,grandmamma, that he wears at his throat. He sewed it allinto a knot with black linen thread yesterday, and harnessedthe cat into it the day before ; the last I saw of it, he hadhung Jerusalem by it on the banisters, and Trotty Trotty !Leave that window now, and come right here to me "" I s'pose if he should n't come, I 'd have to preach my-self," observed Trotty, with a thoughtful sigh, as Lill pulledhim up stairs by the curls, that little arrangement, by theway, was Lill's forlorn hope in her management of Trotty.To command, persuasion, and entreaty he had a dignifiedhabit of paying just no attention at all. Should she lead himby one hand, he was skilled in pinching her with the other.Did she imprison both his little round wrists, you may be-lieve that he knew how to kick! She might carry him in herarms, but he understood perfectly how to lift up his voiceand weep in such an effective manner that the united family
THE REVEREND MR. TROTTY. 39flocked to the spot to see " What Lill was teasing Trottyabout now." But when she once had a firm hold of thosecurls, it was like taking a handful of sunbeams, Trottywas outgeneralled. Wherever Lill went, there he could notconveniently refuse to follow. Sometimes, indeed, he pre-ferred having his hair nearly.pulled out by the roots, to yield-ing the field, and then, Lill being too gentle really to hurthim, the case was hopeless. On one occasion he contrived tomake a timely use of the scissors, and clip off a large frontcurl, and Lill walked on with it for some time before shefound out that he was n't behind it.Trotty was brushed and washed and dusted and tied andbuttoned and pinned at last; mamma was ready, and Lill, andMax; the bell rang and the bell tolled, but Mr. Hymnal didnot come." It must be the mud and hard driving that have delayedhim," said mamma. " Very likely he will stop at the churchwithout coming to the house; we won't wait any longer, Ithink."Trotty began to look sober. When they came in sight ofthe church, he bobbed out from under Lill's umbrella and ranthrough the rain to his mother." Mamma, if the minister does n't come, may I preach ? "" 0 yes," said Mrs. Tyrol, laughing at what she thoughtwas some of " Trotty's fun." " You may preach," andthought no more of what she said.Mr. Hymnal's horse was not in the sheds; Mr. Hymnal was
40 THE TROTTY BOOK.not in the pulpit. Trotty sat down in the tall box-pew andthought about it."I want the corner," said he to Max mysteriously, andMax, to please'him, lifted him into the corner. The churchwas nearly full; the people began to grow still;- the pulpitwas yet empty. A door opened somewhere; Trotty kneeledon top of some hymn-books, and, turning around, looked at-tentively over the house. The blind organist had just comeinto the gallery, and was groping his way along with his cane,which made little taps on the floor. Trotty sat down again.In a minute another door opened, and a pew door flapped.Up went Trotty's curls and eyes again, where all the audiencecould see. It was old Mrs. Holt that time, -Mrs. Holt whowas always late, and who wore the three-cornered greenglasses, and walked like a horse going up hill. She trippedover a cricket as she went into her pew, and Trotty's curlsand eyes laughed out; he never could help laughing at Mrs.Holt, the people saw him turn as pink as a rosebud, anddisappear under Max's arm. He felt so ashamed Presentlya door opened again, and some very new boots creaked veryloudly up the whole length of the broad aisle. Up jumpedTrotty in a hurry now. Everybody thought that they werethe minister's boots, and so did he. But it was only an olddeacon in a black satin stock; he sat down slowly, slowly but-toned his pew door, slowly sunk his chin into his stock, andslowly and severely coughed; a sort of slow astonishment thateverybody should be looking at him crept into his wrinkles
THE REVEREND MR. TROTTY. 41and his eyebrows. He concluded that he must have put his.wig on crookedly, and in feeling around to find out he pulledit off.But nobody else came in after that; the empty pulpitstared down at the people; the people stared up at theempty pulpit. Silence fell, deepened, grew painful, grewawful, grew funny. Two small boys in the gallery smiledaudibly. The old ladies put their handkerchiefs to theirmouths. The Deacon in the wig looked at. another Deacon ;another Deacon looked at them both; a fourth Deacon beck-oned to the third Deacon; then all the Deacons whisperedsolemnly.What was going to happen next ?Trotty had been sitting very still.His mother, as it chanced, had her hand over her eyes justthen. Max was -well, to tell the truth, Max was too busyin wishing that the veil on Nat's pretty sister's pretty hatdid not fall so far over her face to notice much of anythingelse.Suddenly they heard a stir. A choked laugh ran fromslip to slip. Everybody was looking into the broad aisle,and Dear me! where was Trotty ?Out in the middle of the great empty aisle, with one handstuck jauntily in the pocket of his little Zouave trousers, anda huge hymn-book in the other, with his cap on back side infront, ribbons and curls tossed into his eyes, dimple smoothedseverely away, and a ministerial gravity on his pink chin,stood Trotty.
42 THE TROTTY BOOK.ii l i 'I i 7SITII IiI MBefore they knew what he was about, he was on the plat-form. Before they could reach him, he had begun to climbthe pulpit stairs.Just at that point he felt Max's hand upon his collar, andthe next he knew he was securely buttoned into the pewagain, at a safe distance from the door.
THE REVEREND MR. TROTTY. 43.Could a young minister, on the occasion of preaching hisfirst sermon, bear such a surprising turn of affairs with calm-ness ? Was it not enough to quench the ambition of a life-time, and ruffle the patience of the saints? Any clericalopinion on this point, if forwarded to the address of theReverend Mr. Trotty, in my care, or to me, in his care, -will be thankfully received, and duly appreciated." I was a goin' to preach," said Trotty, quite aloud, standingup in the pew, and squaring at Max with both fists. "Younever pulled Mr. Hymnal round that way, you know youdid n't! Now, I should like to know why you "" 0 hush, Trotty hush! " His mother drew him downout of people's sight, but he turned on her with the quietassurance of victory : -" You said I might preach! You said I might, on veway over Now we have n't got any minister, and it's justall your fault! "Just then there was a noise at the green, muffled doors,and Mr. Hymnal came walking very fast up the aisle.He could not imagine what all the people were laughing at.He wondered so much, that he read the Missionary Hymnin this way, -"From Greenland's icy mountains,From India's coral strand,Where Afric's soda fountainsRoll down their golden sand."But somebody says I should not tell you how he read it,
44 THE TROTTY BOOK.for fear that you may laugh the next time you hear it inchurch.Under the circumstances, Mrs. Tyrol thought that Trottyhad better stay at home that afternoon.Feeling quite insulted, but a little too proud-to say so,Trotty watched the rest walking off to the music of theringing bells, and then sat down with Jerusalem to watch therain. He amused himself for a while by counting the littledreary drops that rolled down the glass and melted awayinto the wet sill, but by and by that began to be dull work,and he told Jerusalem that he thought they had better go tochurch; he had a very good sermon, which he should havepreached this morning if it had n't been for that old Max;if Jerusalem would be a good boy and not knock the hymn-books down, nor cry for candy, he might hear it now. Jeru-salem bowed his empty head, nothing came more naturallyto Jerusalem than making bows,-so Trotty tied him intothe high-chair, and himself mounted the dining-room table,with a sofa-cushion, a Bible, and Mother Goose, to preach.That table made an excellent pulpit, when mammawas n't there to take you down! and Jerusalem was asquiet and attentive an audience as a clergyman could askfor. Biddy was in the kitchen, and would have been gladof an invitation, but Biddy had a way of laughing in churchwhich was very disagreeable. Trotty thought that she couldnot have been taught, when she was a little girl, to pay goodattention to the sermon.
THE REVEREND MR. TROTTY. 45So Trotty preached to Jerusalem, and Jerusalem listenedto Trotty, half through the dark, wet, windy afternoon. Iam serry not to have a phonographic report of that sermon,but Jerusalem, who gave me the account of it, gave it frommemory only, so that I fear a large part of the minister'svaluable thoughts are lost. A few have been preserved infragments, as follows: -" My text will be found in the first chapter of Methuselah:' I love vem vat love me, and vose vat seek me early sha' n'tfind me,' -sit still, Jerusalem !-Moses was a very goodman. 'Lijah went up in a shariot of fire. I b'lieve I sawhim one time last summer when there was a thunder-storm. -Jerusalem! don't drum on 'e hymn-books in meeting time. -Once when I had a white kitty she died and went to heaven.I know 'most she went to heaven, 'cause she was so white,and she never scratched me but once. I don't like dogs, notbig black ones. They bark. I don't like the dark either.Samuel was afraid of the dark. So 'm I. Now I lay me -you can't say, Now I lay me, Jerusalem !- Schildren, obeyyour parents, and unite in singing the 'leventh psalm: JohnBrown's Body, old metre: Amen."Before the singing was over, the little minister espied asaucer of parched corn on the sideboard, and the idea struckhim, what a nice stuffing it would make for Jerusalem's head.So, after telling the choir to keep right on, he climbed downfrom the pulpit, and began to drop the corns, one by one, intothe doll's silk skull. This was great fun. When it wasU
46 THE TROTTY BOOK.filled to the top, Jerusalem found that he could hold his headup as straight and stiff as other people. In fact, he might tothis day have been able to look the world in the eye, ifit had not been for the little circumstance, that, one byone, those corns mysteriously disappeared. Where theywent to Jerusalem has never revealed; but the truth re-mains unquestioned, that before Mr. Trotty's sermon wasover, that poor head hung despondent and empty. As forthe saucer on the sideboard that was empty too.When the real people came home from the real church,they found the Reverend Mr. Trotty drawing his audiencenoisily all over the house in a tip-cart." O, I'm sorry," said mamma, laying her gentle hand on hisshoulder. " We don't play with tip-carts on God's Sunday.""Well," said Trotty, after some thought; " you see I 'm alittle boy, and don't know any better "" I think we '11 have a little catechism after that," thoughtmamma.So when she had put away her things she took him up inher lap, and began the only catechism that Trotty knew, -itwas one of his own making." Trotty, what did the wicked man do to President Lin-coln ? "" Shooted him."" What did we do when we heard about it ?"" Cried.""Where did President Lincoln go ?"
*THE REVEREND MR. TROTTY. 47" Up to heaven.""Will Trotty go, if he is a good boy ? ""0 yes."" What did the wicked men do to the poor black people ? "" Shut 'em up."" What did President Lincoln do ?"" Let 'em out."" Trotty," rather softly, " who else has gone to heaven?"" Papa."" What will he do when he sees his little boy ? "" Come runnin' right out to meet me."" What else ?"" Kiss me."" Who is building a little home for Trotty in heaven ?"" The Lord Jesus Christ, mamma.""What would my little boy say to the Lord Jesus Christ ?"" O, I 'd let Him kiss me."" What else ? ""I 'd shake hands to Him."" Anything more ? "" I 'd send my love to Him "That night they let Trotty sit up half an hour later thanhe ever had done before. Grandmother said that she thoughthe was old enough to stay to prayers on Sabbath nights andhear the singing.So Trotty stayed, and when they were singing the "BattleHymn of the Republic," he joined in on a shrill tenor, with
48 THE TROTTY BOOK." Hang Jeff Davis" ; when they attempted " Maitland," hestruck up each line just as the rest had finished it; whennobody was looking, he gave himself the pleasure of a littlepractice with both fists on the bass keys, and when theyscolded him for it, he crept under the piano and sat down onthe pedals. Altogether he enjoyed the evening very much." Why don't you sing that one 'bout going to heaven in asteamboat ? " he asked several times." Going to heaven in a steamboat ?" Nobody could guesswhat he meant." O, I know," said Lill at last. " He means HomewardBound.' "They played " Homeward Bound " to please him, and hesang," Stiddy 0 Pilot! Stand firm at the wheel!"with his mouth very wide open, and dancing up and downhard all the time on Max's corns.After the singing everybody repeated a hymn or a Bibleverse. Trotty listened with bright eyes. His turn came last.They all wondered what he would say." Come, Trotty," said mamma. Trotty stood up with hishands in his pockets, and slowly and solemnly said:-" I had a little hobby-horse,His name was Dapple Gray,His head was made of peel-straw,His tail was made of hay."0, how they all laughed i
THE REVEREND MR. TROTTY. 49"I don't see what 's the matter with me," said Trotty,almost ready to cry. " Besides, if Lill knew how ugly shelooks a laughin' she 'd stop."" That was n't exactly a hymn, you know," said his moth-er, trying to be sober. " You come and stand by me, and say'Dear Jesus,' and let Lill see how well you know it."And it was so pretty to hear him that I think I must copythe words just as he pronounced them."Dear Zhesus ever at my side,How loving you must be,To leave vy home in heaven to guideA little shild like me."I cannot feel ve touch my handWiv pwessure light and mild,. To sheck me as my mover doesHer little wayward shild."But I have felt ve in my foughtsRebukin' sin for me,And when my heart loves God, I knowVe sweetness is from ve."And when, dear Saviour, I kneel downMornin' and night to prayer,Sumfin vere is wivin my heart,Vat tells me Vou art vere."4
0 THE TROTTY BOOK.CHAPTER V.MISS PUMPKIN'S SCHOOL.i AMMA, Lill's got a headache, inthe front of her forehead, 'n' Bid-dy 's making blue-morange and saysI stick my fingers in, 'n' Jerusalemfell into ve milk-pan and feels a littledamp, and I have n't anyfing to do,mamma.----_ "Well let me see; suppose--- you bring your wooden spelling-book and play here on the floor by me awhile."The wooden spelling-book was a box of bright red andyellow blocks, yes, just like yours, I presume, on whichthe alphabet was painted in large black letters. Trotty builtcars of these blocks, and railroads, and railroad stations, andchurches, and bridges, and mills, and giants, and gravestones,and walls, and barns, and bricks, and babies, and Congress-men, and kittens; but he never had troubled himself muchabout the letters." Spell Cat with them,"- said mamma, trying to think ofsomething new. " Do you know which letters to take ?"
MISS PUMPKIN'S SCHOOL. 510 yes, he was quite sure that he knew which letters totake, because, did n't she 'member ? she marked 'em for himwith a lead-pencil last week a good many years ago ?So he took the three blocks with the pencil-marks on them,and studied over them awhile profoundly. His mother lookedup by and by." A T -T CC ? Why, Trotty can't you come anynearer than that ? Does that sound like Cat ?"" I don't know," said Trotty, with a puzzled face.He tried again; he slipped and shoved the blocks about;he groaned and coughed; he knotted his pink forehead, andpuckered his pink chin ; he stuck his little fat forefinger intohis dimple, and sighed with a studious air. After someminutes, his mother examined the blocks once more." Why, that 's just the way you had them before. A T Cagain. You 'll never spell Cat in that way."" But vose are ve letters wiv 'e pencil-marks," persistedTrotty, looking blank.His mother went up stairs to get some work, and when shecame down, she had been gone about five minutes, shefound the little student fast asleep in a sunbeam, and the redand yellow blocks beside him, carefully arranged in his lastdespairing effort to spell Cat, T A C.She picked him up, blocks and all, and rolled him uponthe sofa to finish his nap, where everybody could n't step onhim; then went to grandmother to talk the matter over." I believe I shall make a dunce of the boy, if I keep him
52 THE TROTTY BOOK.at home from school any longer, and I cannot undertaketo teach him with all that I have to do. What do you sup-pose he would do at Miss Pumpkin's? "" Eat apples, and take the measles, and get whipped; butit is time he knew something. Suppose you let him go ?"So, one bright morning, as Trotty was calmly speculatingover his griddle-cakes how he could manage to take fromgrandmother's work-basket that roll of blue silk cord, neces-sary to certain telegraphic ventures in which he had plannedto embark that day, he was startled from.his unsuspectingrepose by the announcement that he was to call.for Nat atnine o'clock, and spend two hours of the morning at MissPumpkin's school. And not that morning only, but all themornings." For a whole long term! " said Lill, a bit triumphantly.It had always been rather a trial to Lill, that Trotty couldstay at home and play, while she must go to school."Besides," said she, " Igo to school to a nice big manwith whiskers, and Miss Pumpkin's nothing but an oldmaid."" What 's an old maid ? " asked Trotty, looking frightened." It's a- " Max began to explain. But his mother inter-rupted in a tone of decision." A good, kind, generous old lady, who does not want tobe married."" O," said Trotty, with an air of relief, " I did n't knowbut it was sumfin that bites."
MISS PUMPKIN'S SCHOOL. 53A little before nine they curled him and washed him andkissed him, and he started away, holding tightly to the tip,of Lill's little finger with one hand, and hugging his box ofblocks with the other. He passed the basket where the bluesilk cord was lying with calmness. Poor little innocent!He really thought it was going to be as much fun to go toschool, as to play at telegraphing. Just after they had shutthe front gate, he carelessly observed that he must go backagain for a minute." Wha for ? " asked Lill." Well- I guess to get a drink of water. Or, maybe, Idid n't kis randma, you know."" 0, you don't want anything Come I 'm in a hurry."But Trotty tossed away her little finger, and ran in. Hecame out looking very wise, and diligently stuffing both handsinto his pocket. As he trudged along, something slowly roseto sight, and stuck out over the edge of that pocket. It wasone of Jerusalem's feet. But nobody saw it.Lill's road turned off at Nat's. Trotty watched her walkaway with just the least sinking at the heart. He began towish that she were going with him." What do they make you do at school ?" said he to Nat,as they ran along together." O, have recess, and play tag. Then if you stick pinsinto the next boy, you get a whipping. One time I stuck aneedle into Johnny Beard. You ought to heard him squeal.Besides, you have to spell your lesson. Ican spell Cat; canyou4
54 THE TROTTY BOOK." Almost," said Trotty, feeling a little ashamed." I don't believe you know very much," grandly from Nat." I can quite spell Cat. I nearly spelled Kitten last week, too.Besides, I can spell Puppy: P-o-p, pop,.p-y, py, Puppy."" I should n't wonder if I could spell Papa," said Trotty,hopefully. "P-a-r, pa-" he gave out at that point, andcoughed thoughtfully. " At any rate," reviving a little," myfather 's dead, and hanging up in a beautiful gold frame inthe parlor. I 'm going to have his watch-chain when I 'm aman.""Well," said Nat, determined not to be outdone, " myfather's getting dead, I guess. He's going to be dead, Iheard him say so the other day. His watch-chain 's all blacksilk, with a little gold key on it."By that time they had come to the school-house. MissPumpkin kept school in one of the lower rooms of an old,deserted boarding-house. The building looked dreary enoughfrom the outside, with the windows boarded up, and the blindsgone; but the school-room itself was pleasant. About adozen little children sat at little desks, with little books be-fore them. The windows were open, and the sweet springair blew in. An English ivy wound about Miss Pumpkin'sdesk. Miss Pumpkin, sitting behind it, was a gentle-facedlady, very little, and not very young; she had gray hair, andshe wore a black dress.Nat pushed open the door, and dragged Trotty in by thejacket sleeve.
MISS PUMPKIN'S SCHOOL. 55" He 's come to school. He walked 'long with me. Hedoes n't know very much. He can't spell Cat. I can spellCat: C-a-t, Cat."Poor Trotty, thus introduced, blushed to his curls, andstood still in the middle of the room." That will do, Nat," said the teacher. " You can go to.your seat. Well, Trotty, I am glad to see you; good morn-ing."" Good morning, Mrs. Punkins !" said Trotty, on a veryhigh key. All the scholars laughed. Poor little Miss Pump-kin turned as red as Trotty was." I 'm not a married lady," she replied gently. " I 'm notMrs. Pumpkin, but Miss. Hush, children! There! comethis way, Trotty; here is a seat all ready for you."Trotty went, wondering what made the children laugh, andwhat made the teacher blush. Nobody could ever make himunderstand. I believe that he calls her Mrs. Punkins to thisday.The children supplied their own furniture at Miss Pump-kin's school; Max had already taken over a bit of a woodenrocking-chair and an atom of a table, for Trotty. The topof the table lifted like, a desk-cover. It stood in a cornerwhere a warm, yellow sunbeam fell softly.Miss Pumpkin told Trotty to put his blocks into the table;then she gave him a spelling-book with pictures in it, andheard him say his letters, and taught him how to spell Cat;then she went away and left him to study by himself.<* "
56 THE TROTTY BOOK.Now Trotty had just about as much of an idea how tostudy as Jerusalem. It struck him that two hours would bea long time to sit up at a little table in a little rocking-chair,with a little sunbeam dancing on his head, and he began tolook about for something entertaining to do.The pictures in the spelling-book looked promising, and hebegan to turn over the leaves very fast. By and by he cameto a fanny picture of a monkey running away with an oldgentleman's hat, and what should he do but laugh rightout." He he! he! he !"- the prettiest little gurgle of alaugh that ever was." Hush, Trotty " said the teacher. That frightened him,and for a few moments he turned over the leaves soberly andsilently. Pretty soon it came again." He he-e-e-e " -that irresistible little laugh!" Trotty " said Miss Pumpkin, biting her lip." Here 's he he he a boy standing on his he he-head! " rippled Trotty ; and Jerusalem's feet, over the edgeof his pocket, shook as he laughed.By and by Nat saw those feet, and Nat laughed; thenTrotty saw Nat laugh, and Trotty laughed; then Nat caughthold of one of Jerusalem's feet and tried to pull him away,and Trotty held on to the other and pulled him back, andbetween the two poor Jerusalem was nearly torn in twain." Trotty," said the teacher, suspiciously, " are you 'mostready to spell Dog,?"
MISS PUMPKIN'S SCHOOL. 57Thus silenced, Trotty opened his spelling-book again;gravely and with some difficulty set the doll down in frontof it, and when the children looked up, he and Jerusalemwere studying together.Presently Jerusalem fell down on the floor, and Trottypicked him up by sticking his finger into the hole in hisempty head; then he fell down again, and he spiked him upwith Nat's jack-knife; then he fell down once more, and hespeared him up with a lead-pencil. Poor Jerusalem was insuch a state of mind and body that, as he has since told me,he really gave up in despair that morning all idea of com-pleting his education.By and by Trotty thought what fun it would be to washJerusalem's face in Nat's ink-bottle. So he washed it care-fully with his own little white handkerchief, and wonderedwhat made the handkerchief grow so ugly and black, andwhere all those little damp black spots on the table that hekept putting his elbows into came from.There was a little girl with white hair sitting on the otherside of him, and when he was tired of washing Jerusalem,he wondered how funny she would look if somebody pouredthe rest of that ink right in the middle of her head on top ;whether her hair would always be black hair after it, orwhether it would grow a little streaked like a black and whitekitty's, and how the little girl would like it. He leanedacross to ask her, with the ink-bottle in one hand all ready toexperiment; but Miss Pumpkin shook her head at him, whichhe thought was very inconsiderate in her.
58 THE TROTTY BOOK.After that Nat gave him an apple-core, and Trotty nibbledat it for a long time, giving Jerusalem little bites occasionallywith a grave face. The way in which Jerusalem used to eatwas by having the mouthfuls dropped into his. head at thehole on top. Trotty stuffed them in with a jack-straw whichhe had in his pocket.This tickled the little girl with white hair so that shelaughed quite aloud, and Miss Pumpkin snapped her knuckles.They were soft little white knuckles, and the little girl cried.Trotty felt sorry.He felt so sorry that he put Jerusalem away in his pocketagain, and laid his head down in the sunbeam and kept still.He kept so very still that everybody forgot him, and when thealphabet class was called out to recite, Miss Pumpkin foundthat he was fast asleep, with his cheek on his hands and hiscurls in his eyes."It 's almost too bad to wake him up," she said, " but Isuppose I must. Come, Trotty! I want you to say a lessonnow."Trotty dug both fists into his eyes, and winked and blinkedand nodded and yawned and coughed, and staggered sleepilyout into the middle of the room where the alphabet class wasstanding.Remembering that Jerusalem ought to have the benefit ofthe recitation, he pulled him out of his pocket, and stuck himinto his trousers-band where he could see the world.It chanced that there stood next to him a little boy with a
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MISS PUMPKIN'S SCHOOL. 59very loose calico apron on; the neck of the apron was twiceas large as the neck of the boy, and it stood out stiffly be-hind, so that you could put your hand down nobody knowshow far. Now, while this little boy was reciting, an ideacame to Trotty. Jerusalem had not been behaving very wellin the trousers-band; he flopped over and hung down thewrong way, and would pay no attention at all to the recita-tion. It occurred to Trotty what a nice place it would be forhim under that stiff apron. So he slowly and softly beganto push his head down the little boy's neck. The little boydid not notice. Trotty pushed a little harder. The littleboy squirmed. Trotty pushed a little more. The little boygasped ; a little more, the little boy choked." Spell Dog, Trotty," said Miss Pumpkin." D," said Trotty, push " 0 " push G"- an-other push. Jerusalem was fairly in now. Only his feetshowed over the top of the little boy's apron. The little boybegan to dance about and pull at the doll, who was caughtsomewhere on a button, and would n't come out."Johnny!" said Miss Pumpkin, " what is the matter?Come here Why, Trotty Tyrol! did you do this ? ""0 yes," said Trotty, candidly. " Is n't he funny? Idid n't s'pose he 'd dance round. I wanted to find a placefor Jerusalem. I guess I '11 take him out now. I 'm afraidhe 'll think it 's a little dark."" Trotty," said Miss Pumpkin, gravely," you have mademe a great deal of trouble this morning. You must learn
60 THE TROTTY BOOK.that little boys cannot play in school. You may take yourlittle rocking-chair and go and sit alone over there by thedoor, till I call you."Trotty did as he was told. The children all looked at him.He felt ashamed. He began to think that it was a very badthing to go to school. He remembered the blue silk tele-graph wire, and home, and grandma, and felt as if it wereyears and years since he had seen them. He tried to talk alittle to Jerusalem, but Jerusalem hung his mortified headand would give him no comfort. Something began to feeldamp in his eyes. Something choked him in his throat.Something rolled down his two cheeks and fell on Jerusalem'sinky face.He began to look carefully at Miss Pumpkin out of thecorner of one eye. Then he looked carefully at the door.Then he looked carefully at the children.He was so still that nobody noticed him."Why! where 's Trotty?" said Miss Pumpkin, all atonce.Where was he ? The little rocking-chair was empty. Thedoor stood wide open. Something shot past the window, andaway down the dusty road. With curls flying, hat off, andJerusalem hugged under one arm, there was Trotty runningfor home as fast as he could go.Grandmother was calmly mending stockings on the porch,when the gate slammed and in walked Trotty." Why, Trotty school can't be out yet. You have n't beengone an hour."
MISS PUMPKIN'S bCHOOL. 61" 0, I don't know 's I care if I have n't," remarked myLord, carelessly. " I don't like going to school. Mrs. Pun-kins made me sit in a chair on the floor. I could n't spellDog. I got a little inky. Jerusalem made me a great dealof trouble. Now, if you '11 let me have some of your bluesilk string, I guess I b'lieve I 'd rather grow up a dunce."
62 THE TROTTY BOOK.CHAPTER VI.LILL'S HOUSEKEEPING.i ,ES, he must go back to school, of course;: but I 've a notion to let him stay at homewith Lill this week while we are all awayM^^ at Aunt Matthew's. He will be companyfor her ; besides, I want to go with him toMiss Pumpkin's myself, the next time hetries it. What do you think, grandmoth-er ? ""Grandmother thought that the plan wasa good one, and they called Trotty from the mazes of hisblue silk telegraph wire to tell him about it. As the idea ofbeing sent to school again had never so much as occurred tohim, he viewed the week's vacation placidly, and sent thenews by especial despatch over the dining-room sofa, directlyto the Emperor of Austria and the Queen of England." But when the week is over you will have to go to schoolagain, you see," said Lill, trying to make him understand.But a week was far how very far! away, and Trottyshook his curls with a fearless smile." I don't know 'bout that," he said impressively. " I think
SLILL'S HOUSEKEEPING. 63God is pretty apt to let me do what I want to; 'cept oncewhen I did n't have any mince-pie at Thanksgiving dinner,and another time yesterday when Biddy would n't let me sailmy slipper in ve boiler. -Now you 're right in my telegraphoffice, and if you don't get out I '11 frow Jerusalem at you! "When he went to bed that night he prayed : -" 0 God, if I should rather be a dunce, don't let peopleslaugh at me. Bless me and all 'e little dunces forever.Amen. Oh, and bless Max, and don't let him have 'e ty-phoid fever off to college. Make New Haven a healthyplace. And make Biddy bake me and Lill a lot of littlegriddle-cakes for supper every night while mamma's away atAunt Matthewses."Mamma went away the next day, and Biddy did cook " alot of little griddle-cakes " for the children's supper; cunninglittle griddle-cakes about as large as a silver dollar (ask yourgreat-grandfather, if you have one, how large that is), andabout as crisp as a fresh cracker, which, I think, consider-ing that it was washing-day, was very good in Biddy.So Trotty, half asleep, that night prayed again: -" 0 Lord, ve griddle-cakes were very nice. I fank youfor doing just as I told you to, last night.""You understand," said Lill, the next morning, "that Iam just like mother this week, you know; and you must doas I tell you all the time."" 0 yes," said Trotty, with his fingers in the sugar-bowl."And you see mother said she could be gone four days, if4
64 THE TROTTY BOOK.we were well and good and happy. And she needs the rest,I 'm sure.9Lill spoke with a thoughtful sigh. I don't suppose shehad the least idea that it was not solely on account of hermother's improved health, that four days' housekeeping seemedso delightful."After breakfast she went out into the kitchen to order,dinner." We will have I think we will have chicken to-day, youknow, Biddy; fricasseed chicken."" Can't make fricassees with me irons on the stove," saidBiddy. Biddy never spoke more respectfully in her life.But Biddy's eyes were full of fun." Well, let me see, roast lamb then; roast lamb and sweetpotatoes.""We generally has roast lamb before the critters is allsheep, and sweet potatoes is this two months gone by."" Oh!"Lill reflected."1 Well, we might have sausages at any rate; sausage iseasy to cook; sausages and whips now, Biddy."" Sausage is pison this year," said the ready Biddy. " Bethe death of us all before your ma got home. You can'thave whip widout wine, and it 's the wine-closet that she lockedup before lavin'."" But she told me where the key is; she always trusts mewith her keys. A little sponge-cake is very good in whips,Biddy."
LILL'S HOUSEKEEPING. 65"O, well, the cooking-wine is all out," emphasized Biddy,with her thumping irons. " Your mother used the last overthe cake-pudding when your uncle Dan'l was here."" Did she ? Let me think What do you think, Biddy ?Shall we have "" Hash! " said Biddy, promptly. " What 's left of yester-day's beef-steak will chop up enough for the two of you. Itold the butcher yesterday we should n't want him till to-morrow."" And for dessert, now, Biddy ? " Lill ran her finger alongthe window-sill to test the dust, with a matronly air, andbreathlessly awaited the answer. It came relentless andcalm." Sago pudding."" With sauce ? a good butter and sugar sauce ? ""It 's no time I '11 have to be makin' sauce the day.There 's milk and sugar, plenty."" Very well," said Lill, after a solemn silence. "I thinkthat will do. Hash and sago pudding. It will do very well,Biddy. And if there 's anything more wanted you can letme know."If there were any two things in this world, which Lillwould have been perfectly resigned never to see again, theywere hash and sago pudding without sauce.She never very clearly understood whether it was she orBiddy who ordered that dinner.In fact, she was so much puzzled about it that she forgotB
66 THE TROTTY BOOK.to send out her directions for supper, and perverse Biddyopened a fresh jar of marmalade as a consequence."I find Biddy a great responsibility," she observed toGerty, who was in that afternoon."(( She must be! " sighed Gerty. " I went through with itmyself when mother was in Fall River. I went through withit all with Jane."But if Biddy was a responsibility, Trotty was a night-mare.The first day he emptied six ink-bottles -all he could findin the house -into the milk-pan; pasted pictures fromHarper's Weekly all over the delicate drawing-room paper-ing ; threw a bag of " blueing " down the well; wet his feetseven times, and swallowed a tack-nail.The second day he ran away into the village and playedfour hours and a half with a boy who was down with scarletfever before morning.The third day it rained." Now, Trotty," began Lill, courageously, when the firstdrops tapped on the pane. " Would n't you just as lief notbother me to death to-day ? "" 0 yes," said Trotty, in his easy way, "just as lieves."" Because Gerty and Prue Jarvis are coming in to tea withme to-night, -mother said they might, and I shall have aWORLD to do. And you 're never shut up with a rain-storm,you know, but you 're just more than the house can bear."" Bear? I never played bears but once, and that was up
LILL'S HOUSEKEEPING. 67attics when I was a little boy," said Trotty. " I 'd rathererplay lion. Lions roar. You get under ve table and I '11show you."But Lill had a letter to write to her mother. Trotty har-nessed the rocking-chair with two tippets and a garter, andpromised to be still.Lill wrote in silence for three minutes by the clock. Trottydrove the rocking-chair to Boston. Then he drove home.Then he walked about on tip-toe awhile ; then he found outthat his boots squeaked, and entertained himself by adaptingthe tune of " Beautiful Zion" to the squeaks. Then heknocked down the shovel and pinched his fingers in thetongs. After that he crawled in under the dining-table, andengagingly undertook to lift the board with his head, thebreakfast dishes, being yet unremoved, added some interestto the scene.By and by he softly began." Lill."Lill did not speak." Lill, I say!"Lill wrote hard." 0 Lill; I can spell Finite : f-i, fi, n-i-g-h-t, nite, Finight."Lill crossed her t's in silence." Anyway, I fink you might tell me what becomes of littlebits of yellow schickens when vey die."" Lill, to-morrow you must get me free cornballs downtown."
68 THE TROTTY BOOK."0 Trotty, keep still; perhaps I sha' n't live till to-mor-row."" 0 well, if you do live," very cheerfully. " I want freecornballs, and some guava zhelly, and- Look here, Lill!I wish I owned all Bampton, and all New York, and NewEngland, and New Bedford, and New Zhersey, and -Pittsburg, and -'e United States, and Brookfield, andNorth America, and BOSTON! "" Trotty Tyrol! Here, you can write a letter to motheryourself, and that may keep you still."So Trotty, delighted, wrote a letter to his mother.This is a copy of it, open.^^>^1^^ A- -Q1-^^ ^ j^A ^^ vf'L^yay
LILL'S HOUSEKEEPING. 69This is a copy of it, sealed.And this is the translation: he read it aloud to Lill." Dear Mamma, this is a letter 'bout me and Nita. OnceI wanted to tip 'e ink-bottle on Nita's hair up to school. Itwas so white, and it rains to-day, so vis is a picshure of meand Nita, and I did n't wet my feet eight times; it was onlyseven. Besides, Biddy says I came down in a mending,basket, and I fought God frew me down bang! Only Iknow how to spell Microscope. M-i-k-e, mike, c-r-o-w, crow -I 've fergutten ve rest. Your dear little Trotty."And this is the address." Mamma:At Aunt Matthewses,Massachusticks."Before dinner that day Trotty had only run out in the rainfive times, cut three large embroidered flowers out of themuslin curtains, eaten about a quarter of a pound of raisins,and " cleaned" the piano keys with the blacking-brush.But he was so pretty out there in the storm, bareheaded,4
70 THE TROTTY BOOK.and in his soaked little ankle-ties, his curls like strugglingsunbeams, and the rain-drops twinkling all over him, like alittle statue of a boy in a beautiful fountain! And when hehid with the guilty flowers behind the tattered curtain, shin-ing pink and frightened through, as if he had been a rosebudin a snow-storm, what could one say ? And he was sofunny and sticky when they caught him at the raisins! Andhe blacked the piano keys with such innocent great eyes, -"fought Lill was so busy and he wanted to help "So Lill scolded him a little, and laughed at him a great deal,and kissed him a great deal more.That was before dinner. After dinner she grew a littletired of it. She had so much to do, or thought she had,which is the same thing, making ready for Gerty and Prue;the parlor to dust; the tea-table to set just after her fancy;and Biddy to help about fresh ginger-bread."There! " she said at last, when she discovered the younggentleman digging wells in the strawberry-jam with hismother's best scissors, and his father's agate paper-cutter." There, Trotty! I 've had enough of this. Go away upgarret and play till tea-time, and don't eat the tobacco out ofthe carpet-chest, nor throw the furs out of the window! "After suitable reflection Trotty concluded to go. Hestopped in the kitchen on the way, but Biddy was not therejust then, as Lill afterwards remembered, and in the courseof a few minutes she heard him thumping up the attic stairson " all fours."
LILL'S HOUSEKEEPING. 71For an hour the house was still. For an hour Lill plannedand sung over her little tea-party. Biddy was in excellenthumor. The gingerbread was delicious. Lill set the smallsewing-table with her own small tea-set, the delicatepink-and-white that grandmother gave her four years ago;the dried beef curled like rose-leaves, the bits of biscuitsmoked sweetly, the marmalade sparkled and shook in tinytinted dishes, that, for the sake of eating from, one wouldrather be a doll or a little girl than not. The low silversugar-bowl served as cake-basket, and spicy, brown slicesfilled it full.The clouds broke a little, and Gerty and Prue came laugh-ing and chattering through the scattering drops. Biddy hadrun out for ten minutes to see a " very partikkelar friend," andthe children were all alone in the house. Lill was happy.It was the first tea-party she had ever given quite by herself.She meant that everything should be done just right. Gertyand Prue should see what a good housekeeper she was. Andin the first place, they should begin punctually. All wasready. The chairs were set. Lill rang the bell for Trotty.He did not answer it, and after a moment she went to thefoot of the stairs and called him. But he did not answerthat." Dear me!" said Lill." I don't like biscuit so well when they 're cold," observedGerty, Gerty could say the most uncomfortable things ifshe tried.
72 THE TROTTY BOOK."The little plague!" said Lill again. "Well, we mustwait a minute, girls. I '11 go up and find him. It won'ttake long. And he 's all dressed for tea since three o'clock."The tears almost came as she went up the stairs. It wastoo bad, too bad!"Trotty Trotty "This time there came an answer. Half a sob, half a laugh,it trickled mysteriously down to Lill's ear." Ye-es, when I get 'em off! "" Get 'em off? " Get what off? Lill's heart sank. Shecleared the stairs in a hurry, pushed open two or three atticdoors and stopped. Down in the corner, over behind thetrunks and bandboxes, were Trotty, a feather pillow, and amolasses-jug; but which was pillow, which Trotty, and whichmolasses I don't believe you could have told to save yourlife.That he had dragged that jug up from the kitchen, tippedthe molasses over on the attic floor, eaten it, walked about init, and tumbled into it, then, by way of " change of scene,"ripped the pillow, and been trying to get away from thefeathers ever since, Lill saw. That it would be a twenty-fiveminutes' piece of work to " restore" him, as artists say ofspoiled pictures, that Biddy's ten minutes would be perhapsan hour, and that Gerty and Prue, savagely hungry, weresaying down stairs, over the cooling biscuit, " Pretty house-keeper she is!" she felt as Mr. Field felt when the cablebroke.
LILL'S HOUSEKEEPING. 73Poor Lill! she took hold of Trotty, she thought she wasgoing to shake him half to death; then, all in a minute, sheturned away, sat down in the molasses with him, and cried asif her heart would break." I did n't mean to," said Trotty, crying too. " I foughtif I pasted ve feavers all together, I could make a littleschicken. I'm all. stuck together. I don't like it. I didn't want to be a schicken myself! And I fought you 'dscolded me so! "
74 THE TROTTY BOOK.But Lill did not " scolded him so." And instead of cry-ing she began to laugh. And Gerty and Prue came up, andthey laughed too who could help it ? at poor little Trottytarred and feathered as never anybody was tarred and feath-ered before.Now Gerty and Prue were very good-hearted, though veryhungry little girls, and instead of saying, " What a way thiswas to keep house! " they simply went to work and helpedLill pluck her poor little " schicken." It took fifteen minutesby the clock to get Trotty out of his feathers and into hisclothes, but the three girls had such a laugh over it as girlsdo not get every day. If there were time, I would stop andtell you how funny it was.The biscuit had grown quite cool with disgust at being"neglected by the time they sat down to the little table; butthe rosy beef and fragrant gingerbread looked approval, thepainted plates were smiling, and the marmalade, Lill thought,winked at her out of a hundred little sparkling eyes.When she went to bed that night, thinking how she wouldtell her mother all about it to-morrow, some words came intoher mind which she tried to put where they belonged; butshe was so sleepy that they tumbled all about like this." Greater is he. that haveth a tea-party, than he thatshaketh Trotty." No, " Greater is he that taketh a city,than he that -" But that was not it. " Greater is he thatruleth his own spirit, than he that haveth a tea-party "That was as near to it as she could come till morning.
NITA'S SECOND COUSIN. 75CHAPTER VII.NITA S SECOND COUSIN.ROTTY went to school again. Itseemed to him a very singular stateof affairs that he should go to schoolagain. Heartless mamma returnedhim to Miss Pumpkin with a smile.Unfeeling grandmother cheerfullyconducted the blue silk telegraphbusiness alone. Trotty, with hisdimple under a cloud, and his lipput up " as if a bee had stung it," trudged back again withJerusalem over the dusty road. Miss Pumpkin was there,and the sunshine, and the ivies, just as they were before.Nita was there, and Nat. The little black rocking-chair,the scene of his disgrace, was grimly waiting for him. Thespelling-books and the buzzing children were in their dismalplaces."1 Shades of the prison-house"- Begin to close about the growing boy."If Trotty had been familiar with Mr. Wordsworth, that iswhat he would have quoted to Jerusalem on that sorrowful
76 THE TROTTY BOOK.morning. That, I think, must have been what he meant,when, in default of speech or language to express his feelings,he punched poor Jerusalem in the eye, and threw little paperballs at Miss Pumpkin's waterfall. But Miss Pumpkin waslooking the other way, and did not see.However, most miseries come to an end if you give themtime enough, and Trotty's spirits were restored in just halfan hour. This was the way." Mrs. Punkins " said he, quite aloud, in the middle of a." silent study-hour."" Well ? " said the teacher, patiently." I 'd like to know," said Trotty, with a musing air,"where Mr. Punkins is."" She said there was n't any Mr. Punkins," said Trotty, inrelating the story to grandmother afterwards, " and I foughtshe looked very sad about it."But the children raised such a laugh! And of courseTrotty laughed too, though he had n't the least idea at what.So he began to feel quite happy again.After that he went to school two hours every day.Sometimes he sat still, and learned his lessons, and did nottalk to Jerusalem, and had a " merit" card with six blueroses, two red angels, and four lines of green poetry on it;.and he thought it was very pleasant.Sometimes he made steamboats out of his slates, andcigars out of his slate-pencils, and gravestones out of hisprimers; he drew little girls in Nat's copy-book, and put
NITA'S SECOND COUSIN. 77molasses-candy down Nita's neck, and had always " most fer-gutten " when it came his turn in the spelling-class, and was-sent away into the corner with his hands tied; then he didnot think it was pleasant at all.One afternoon Trotty thought that he did n't want to goto school. His hour was from three to four. He started alittle late, and his spelling-class were reciting when he peepedin at the window." S'pose I don't go in," said Trotty." S'pose you do," said Trotty's conscience; for you mustunderstand that Trotty had a conscience, though it was a verylittle, sometimes a very funny little one." S'pose I go 'way up stairs where ve boards are on vewindows," said Trotty." S'pose you take off your hat and go straight into thespelling-class," said Trotty's conscience." S'pose I jest have a nice time, now," said Trotty." S'pose its 'jest' being a naughty boy," said Trotty'sconscience." Well, anyway, I don't want to spell Baker vis afternoon.S'pose I go up and see," said Trotty.So, as Trotty had the last of the argument, he crept awayup the dusty stairs of the old boarding-house on tip-toe, -upone flight, up two flights; Miss Pumpkin did not hear him;nobody heard him. It was a queer place. Trotty investi-gated all the piles of shavings and old newspapers andbroken chairs that lumbered the landings, tried all the locked
78 THE TROTTY BOOK.doors, and stuck his foot through all the cobwebs in thecorners. He caught his curls on the nails, cut his fingers onthe broken glass, rubbed the dust all into his eyes, and triedto rub it out, and rubbed it in all the more. By_ and by hefound a door unlocked and open. It led into a large room,empty and still. The windows, boarded up as I said, let thelight through in cracks. Trotty stood still to watch it, andthought it was very pretty. Little suns and stars burned andtwinkled before his eyes. There were 'straight cracks likeshining roads, and crooked cracks like heat-lightning. Therewere little cracks like golden knitting-needles, and broadcracks like jewelled pillars. There were round spots andsquare spots all on fire. There were great canals of yellowlight cut through the air, with motes of dust swimming upand down like silver fish." So pretty," thought Trotty, " so pretty !" He sat downin the middle of the floor to watch it. The dust puffed up inclouds about his clean stockings, but he did not notice it.He turned over a little box by and by for a pillow, and turnedout half a dozen little mice who had made a nest in it. Buthe did not mind that at all. The pretty soft creaturesscampered away, and left him laughing. He wished he werea little mouse to build a house in a box in a roomful of suchbeautiful lights. He wondered if it were anything like fairiesthat Lill was reading about in a green book last week. Hewondered if he tickled Nita very badly, whether Miss Pump-kin would n't send him up here some time as a punishment.
NITA'S SECOND COUSIN. 79And while he wondered his curls sank into his elbow,and his soft eyelashes dropped over his eyes, and beforehe had the least idea what was going to happen, he wasasleep.When he opened his eyes the twinkling stars and burningsuns were gone. Lightning and knitting-needles, pillars andgolden streets, spots and flecks of brightness, were all put out.He could not even see the boards at the windows, nor couldhe tell where the windows were. He was all in the dark.He was all alone. The wind was blowing furiously, and theold house shook. Rain was hammering on the roof. Thelittle mice grown terrible creatures now that he could notsee them scampered about in the dark. One ran over hisfeet. Another jumped into his neck." 0 dee! " cried Trotty. " Dee, dee, dee me !""Dee me! " came an echo from the great empty room.Trotty thought it was the little mice who answered him. Hedid not know anything about echoes. Too frightened tomove, he called: -" Mrs. Punkins Lill! Mam-mar-r!""Mam-mar-r!" said the echo, mournfully. But neithermamma nor Mrs. Punkins nor Lill came to their littleboy.Terrified, Trotty crawled to his feet. It occurred to himthat he might get away and get home. He felt his way outof the dreadful room. He stumbled down the crooked stairs.He found the familiar entry, and the school-room door. He
80 THE TROTTY BOOK.tripped over Nita's hoop and hoop-stick, which she had leftin the corner. He did not feel so much afraid now. Hethought he could easily find his way home. He began to re-member what a big boy he was to have been frightened bythe dark, and a little mouse.He groped for the door-latch and tried it.It was locked!Poor Trotty! He understood now what had happened.Nobody knew that he was in the pretty twinkling room.Mrs. Punkins had closed school and gone home with thechildren. He had slept till dark. Nobody knew where hewas. And he was locked in.To stay here all night! To stay here all night alone!Poor little Trotty! What should he do ? He sat down closeby the locked door, and laid his cheek up against it. All atonce he thought he had better say his prayers. But thesewere all the words he could think of: -"Now I lay me down to sleep,I pray ve Lord my soul to keep. -However, I think that must have answered the purposeabout as well as a better prayer, for, before he had quite finishedthe little frightened, tumbling words, there came voices outin the storm, and a key turned briskly in the door, and therewere mamma and Mrs. Punkins and a lantern all in abeautiful tangle, Trotty hardly knew which was which, -.and warm arms caught him, and sweet kisses fell on his dirty
NITA'S SECOND COUSIN. 81little cheeks, and soft hands, instead of little mice, crept intohis neck, and --i!B-a, ba, -u-r, cur, Bacur B-a, ba-i -'iI _" You need n't fink I 'm going to run off from school'nother times!" sobbed Trotty. " I'd rather spell Baker.B-a, ba, c-u-r, cur, Bacur B-a, ba-"6
82 THE TROTTY BOOK.But nobody wanted him to spell Baker till to-morrow.One other thing worth telling happened at Mrs. Pum-kin's school. That was when the first examination-daycame.Mamma was going to be what Trotty called a "boredvisitor"; as well as Lill and Max, if Max were at home ;and Nat's father, and Nita's second cousin, and the motherof the little boy who wore the loose-necked calico apron, andanybody else belonging to any of Miss Pumpkin's little peo-ple, who might care to come in and hear the worst recitationof the term. For the children were so frightened at the ideaof spelling and bounding and adding and subtracting " beforefolks !Trotty took it more calmly than the rest." I know how to spell Book," he said, complacently. "Ilearned right at it all day yesterday. And I know 'mostshe '11 give me Book to-morrow, 'cause I told her to.B-double o-k, Book."To-morrow came, and the Board of Visitors with it. Thechildren, in clean aprons, sat up straight and still. Mammaand Max and Lill, and Nat's father, and the calico boy'smother, and Nita's second cousin, were there. Nita's secondcousin was a stout old gentleman with spectacles, and a veryloud cough. Trotty eyed him disapprovingly. He was con-vinced that he should not like to spell Book to him.The examination began tremulously, proceeded hopefully,and ended successfully. Nat said that six into eleven was
NITA'S SECOND COUSIN. 83forty-three, and Nita insisted on it that Arkansas was thecapital of New York; but on the whole the children knewwhat they were about, and told what they knew." Can any of my little friends spell Nebuchadnezzar ?"asked Nita's second cousin, after a while. Which was veryinconsiderate in Nita's second cousin, was n't it? All the" little friends " looked first at the second cousin, then ateach other. Trotty, alone, smiled fearlessly." That 's nothing N-e-b, Neb, b-y, Nebby -"And he thought it was very rude in them to interrupt himby laughing." Well, can any of the dear children spell Tomahawk ?"persisted the dreadful cousin, coughing loudly.The " dear children " looked discouraged and cross. Theyscowled at Nita, as if she were to blame for having a secondcousin at all; and they smiled in a superior manner at thesecond cousin, as if they were convinced that he could n'tspell Tomahawk himself.After a solemn pause undismayed Trotty came valiantly totheir relief." I can spell it! It's jest as easy T-o-m, tom, m-i, Tom-mi, g-h-a-u-w-k, hawk, Tomahawk!"" Do you suppose anybody in the world but Trotty couldhave originated that? " whispered Max to his mother.Providentially Nita's second cousin had such a fit ofcoughing after that that he could ask no more terrible ques-tions, and Miss Pumpkin took up the primer.
84 THE TROTTY BOOK."Wagon, Nita."Nita spelled Wagon."Rabbit, Nat."Nat spelled Rabbit." Trotty;-- Book."Now was Trotty's time. He would make up for all pastdefeats. He would conquer gloriously before the secondcousin's eyes. He knew how to spell Book just as well as youor I do. Mamma looked over encouragingly. The childrenwere still. The second cousin bent his head with his handbehind his ear to listen.Trotty stepped out into the middle of the room; put hishands in his pockets; stood on tip-toe; lifted his chintriumphantly in the air, and slowly and distinctly said:" D-bubble o-k, Book!"When Trotty found out what he had done, he cried. Hecould not help it; he sat down and cried." It 's all vat old coughing cousin," he insisted. " I 'mnever goin' to play wiv you Nita Fair again as long as ever Ilive!"Just then something snapped from the second cousin'sfingers into Trotty's lap. and there were two new, shining five-cent pieces.So Trotty dried his tears, and was comforted for his ex-amination-day.
TROTTY GETS MARRIED. 85CHAPTER VIII.TROTTY GETS MARRIED._ ROTTY and Nat and Nita did not know-J ~ what to do. They had built General Grantout of the wood-pile, till they could n't tellwhich was wood-pile and which was Gen-eral Grant. They had drawn maps ofNorth America all over the saw-dust thatfloored the back-yard, till Nita, insistingon running the Alleghanies and the Mis_sissippi River at an acute angle through theState of Maine, so roused Nat's finer senseS-of geographical proprieties that he seizedNew England in one hand and Alaska inthe other, and threw at her.By the time that Nita had got through swallowing saw-dust, Trotty and Nat had shut the cat into an old teakettle,and were trying to pour her out of the spout; but the catran away, and Nita thought that playing at Hang Mrs. Sur-ratt gave her a stiff neck, and Bears had lost their charm, andFunerals were somewhat slow, and the Coffin Business wasdull, that day ; so now the three little people sat and looked4
86 THE TROTTY BOOK.at each other. The world had come to a stand-still. Lifehad about ceased to be desirable." If you don't fink of sumfin to do pretty quick, I 'm goinginto the house," said Trotty, in a misanthropic manner.This hospitable remark set Nita's wits to work." I'll tell you!"" What ? "" Let's you and I get married," suggested the young lady,with charming frankness." If there 'd been mud enough, I 'd like to made a mudoven; but 's long 's there is n't, I guess that '11 do," repliedthe young gentleman, graciously." And I '11 be minister," said Nat." You must have a Bible," said Trotty. So Trotty raninto the house for a Bible. Biddy was washing the kitchenfloor, and would not let him go over it, so gave him the cook-book instead. Nat thought it would do just as well." Now I must have a wedding-dress," said Nita. Trottyran back to Biddy for a wedding-dress."I It 's no time I has to be botherin' over the nonsense ofthe likes of ye!" said Biddy, half laughing, half cross; butgave him a clean roller-cloth, a hair-pin, and a yellow calicoapron. Nita tied the apron on behind; it trailed on theground when she stood still, and flapped out like a sail whenshe walked; it made her look like an orange with only halfthe peel on. The roller-cloth she found convenient, becauseshe could get inside of it very much as the roller did. She