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HUMPTY DUMPTY,AND HIS WONDERFUL ADVENTURES.BOLD HUMPTY, who sat on a wall, one day,Fell flat, as a Fairy passed by that way,But fell on an egg, so that he was unharmed,And not so much hurt as he was much alarmed.The Fairy her magic wand waved around,And raised Humpty up from the stony ground.Though he limped and he ground his teeth in pain,Humpty Dumpty was made to stand again.Now when he rose up and saw what he had done,"How the egg he had smashed, it wasn't much fun,For he knew he'd be thrashed, was sure of it too-By his master, the surly old Buckle-my-Shoe.The harm was all done, then why should he cry,'Twas better to laugh--so to grin he would try.So Humpty, though hurt, and feeling quite queer,Limped off to his master, as he drew near.But a lover came with him, a lad of great wealth-' A lover to capture a maiden by stealth.This damsel was Goody Two-Shoes, you have heard,Who was beauty in heart, and in deed, and in word.Her father old One-Two, had made up his mindThe Baldwin LibraryIRmB2LJa
The Adventures of Hiumpty Dumpty.That she should be married as he was inclined;So her father had chosen for her Johnny Clump,Who had money stored up in a golden lump.But Goody a lover had, gallant and true-A farmer boy named Tommy Tucker, and who,Like our Goody, and handsome, and brave, and wise!While Johnny was homely, and had goggle eyes.And he feared to pass through any grave-yard at night-Poor Johnny, he always was in a great fright!Now Goody would marry him never at all,Any more than that Humpty who sat on the wall.This day Tommy met with the maiden so fair,And took the first chance to his passion declare;But there, as he knelt and his cause tried to state,Old One-Two arrived at the garden gate.And then Johnny Clump gave out a great howl,And the brows of One-Two made an awful scowl;They caught little Goody at last, made her bow.But she wouldn't make love to Johnny Clump anyhow;Now Johnny, in rage, didn't know what to do,So he boldly appealed to old Buckle my Shoe;As he told him to come and take supper at six,They both were knocked down with a couple of bricks;For Humpty had climbed up again on the wall.And had at his mercy, his master and all.John Clump, was afraid, so he ran right away,But One-Two was brave, and determined to stay.He threw back the bricks that had hit on his crown,But as fast as he rose was again knocked down,Until Humpty grew tired and threw his last brick-Then, he tumbled right off and again cut his stick.-2-
The Adventures of Humpty Dumpty.But his master pursued him, and came so nigh,That Humpty in haste tumbled in the pig-stye;But the sow fought him bravely, so out he did dig,Escaping at last with a very small pig;His master ran after, and rapidly chased,Till he caught the young pig in his hands by the waisi:Then both of them pulled it and tugged it so hard,That the poor little pig was stretched out a full yard;And Humpty fell down, and the pig ran away;One-Two broke his crown through his wig so gray;The good Fairy came, found the lovers so good,She' pitied, and promised to do what she could.To Goody she gave two shoes all of gold;And dresses more handsome than any now sold;While poor little Tommy, as Harlequin fine,Was dressed out in gilt with a splendid shine;And the sword that the Fairy did give unto him,Could grant him all pleasures and every whim.The Fairy next seized the old man by the nose,And rudely she shook him right out of his clothes;So he came forth in garments quite new and quite bright,Who before seemed to be but a horrible fright.One blow from the Fairy knocked poor Humpty down,And when he arose, he found himself Clown.So now they are off on a merry go round-Lightly they trip on the magic ground;The Harlequin, Clown, and the fair ColumbineStart off on adventures in pantomime.Tommy sped off on the wings of the wind,Leaving Humpty and One-Two far behind;-8-
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The Adventures of Humpty Dumpty.While they on their magical course were sped,And hastened in vain wherever he led.At last, as they journeyed the city o'er,Humpty beheld, at a dry-goods store,A richly-dressed figure beside the door.He thought it a lady dressed out so fine,But 'twas only a dummy, or a dry goods sign.He bowed very low, and he took off his hat,And he talked very sweetly, but, after all that,The wind gave a blow, and the figure fell down,Right in the arms of the funny old Clown.But what was his rage when he drew its face nigher,To find 'twas a mask, and the figure was wire.But then our Clown got another idea-'Twas funny-indeed 'twas remarkable queer-He told the old man, who did not say nay,So dummies they thought that they both might play.They rigged themselves up in the figure's rich dress,And cut a sad figure, you all must confess;They stood by the door, and, as ladies went by,To steal all their bundles they boldly did try.From one they pulled off the false hair from her head,From a butcher took meat, from a baker stole bread,And robbed all who came in the reach of their hand,In a manner that no one could quite understand;But a giant policeman was watching the two,And he thought they were doing what dummies can't do;For dummies can't speak, nor move, nor feel,And though thy're of wire, they never can steal!So Officer Clubs threw down his cigar,With the stride of a giant stepped over a car,-4.-
The Adventures of Humpty Dumpty.And, reaching their side of the street, he caught 'em,And into the jail he rapidly brought 'em.So Humpty was brought by the giant to grief,And he and One Two, each proven a thief,Were carried along to the dungeons deep,Where it's always so dark that you always must sleep,Where the rats are as big as the dogs that one meetsProwling about by night in the streets-There Humpty was taken and there he might stayFrom the time of his capture to this very day,If he had not broke loose and run swiftly away.The giant was broad, and, you see, very tall,While Humpty, beside him, was really small;So he slipped off the clothes that he took from the pegs,And dodged the great giant right under his legs.He ran and he ran, but the giant still beat,Since he had such long legs and such very big feet;But Humpty at last in his pocket sprang down,And the Officer hunted in vain for the Clown;So when he grew tired and slumbering lay,Humpty sprang from the pocket and ran right away.When Humpty escaped, he roared in delight,And also One-Two, who with him took flight;So when out of breath they ceased to run,They paused to rest and laugh at the fun;But as they were roaring, the Clown did hearThe tap of a drum approaching quite near,And looking across the village greenA troop of soldiers advancing was seen.At their head was a drummer who pounded with might,And the following troops made a beautiful sight.
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The Adventures of Humpty Dumpty."They were boys of the village in battle array,Enjoying themselves in their harmless play.They advanced like young soldiers who were not afraid,And Humpty admired the show that they made.Like a soldier he feels as onward they come,And his spirits keep pace with the tap of their drum;Yes, a feeling the same took hold of the two,Even old tottering Buckle my Shoe.So, when the troop halted, the Clown took his place,Commanding the soldiers to right about faceOne-Two in the ranks he ordered to stand,While he over all assumed the command.Then he commanded the drummer to cease,And enlisted them all to fight the police;For the Clown was so brave that he thought he couldConquer the giant with toy guns of wood.But Buckle my Shoe was so dreadfully fat,That in marching he crushed one little boy flat,And over his eyes pushed his paper hat.But Humpty another thought got in his head-This army would serve him quite well, he said,To capture sweet Goody, and Harlequin stoo,And those were the things he thought he would do.But when he said "Forward!" the boys wouldn't go.For they didn't like to be handled so;They wouldn't harm Goody, nor rob her of peace,And they were too good to fight the police.When Humpty saw this, he looked very glum,And then ran away after stealing their drum.The soldiers ran after him into the city,Determined to treat him without any pity.-e
The Adventures of Humpty Dumpty.But just as the Clown was beginning to tire,The bells rung out an alarm of fire,And the flames went sparkling higher and higher.The crowds all surrounded the thief and One Two,And the soldier boys didn't know what they could do;So they turned and went home in sorrowful mood,And not feeling happy as little boys should.Humpty ran on where the fire was burning,Knocking men down and boys overturning,Until to the scene of the fire he'd come,And the pair proceeded to have some fun.They rushed in the house and threw out beds,And mirrors they smashed on people's heads.They climbed up the ladders and handled the hose,Ducking the people and spoiling their clothes;And then when a lady her baby threw down.It fell in the arms of Humpty the Clown,With it he ran out of sight of its "ma,"Its squalling was heard anear and afar.He hushed it, and fed it on pap with a spoon,But still it would cry, and he wished very soonThat he hadn't stolen it. What could he do ?His troubles with baby now momently grew;He thrashed it and he beat it and loudly he cursed it,But still it would cry, so he sat on and burst it.But another policeman had heard the child squall,And this was a dwarf called Officer Small.He rushed upon Humpty, took him by the throat;But the Clown threw him down, took his club, hat and coat;While the officer found he was no match at all,So he bravely ran off, did this Officer Small.-7-
The Adventures of Humpty Dumpty.Humpty, in officers' uniform dressed,Looked to see some one whom he could arrest.He clubbed the small boys and he beat all the men,And thrashed a poor drunkard he met now and then,There came from a store old Buckle-my-Shoe,So Humpty arrested and beat him too;Old Buckle-my-shoe stood quite amazed,And thought the police officer was crazed;For he said, after twelve he had broken the lawIn entering even a closed liquor store;So he siezed on his bottle, and pounded him blue,And took all the brandy to drink it up too;When Harlequin waved his sword in his face,And Humpty once more started off in the chase.Little Goody they raced on every side,But vainly to capture her both of them tried;And Harlequin dashed a store-window through,Which the Clown broke his head in trying to do.The lovers then flew from the city away,And Humpty still followed them night and by day,Until to the northward so far they did go,They found themselves buried belieath a deep snow.Then Goody, with Harlequin, glided away,And escaped with the aid of a magical sleigh;But One-Two and Humpty, most dead with the cold,To keep themselves warm, a great snow-ball rolled;And then Humpty Dumpty found out a new planTo occupy time, he built a snow man;But Harlequin, as he sped off o'er the snow,Flourished his magical sword, just so,That after the man had been made complete,--8--
The Adventures of fHumpty Dumpty.It raised up its head and stepped out with its feet;It ran after Humpty and pelted him sore,Till loudly he cried that he wanted no more;The snow-man with many snow balls in store,Paid no attention to Humpty's sad implore;But still it did pound him the more he did cry;One ball hit his head and knocked stars from his eye;And Humpty soon found out that he must go,Or his dear life would perish in the snow;So then far away, pursued by snow-man,Humpty ind Buckle-my-Shoe then ran;Buckle-my-Shoe soon began very tired to feel,White Humpty was livelier than an eel;On they went, still seeking Goody to find,But still the snow-man kept closely behind;He chased and he pelted them every day,Till they reached the far South, when he melted away;JIumpty and Buckle-my-Shoe were now glad and gay,And long did they wait for this happy day.But in making this man, so much snow did it take,That, in melting, he made a very big lake;On this Tom Tucker and Goody Two Shoes,In a sweet fairy boat, started off for a cruise,While Humpty the water all gathered around;Till he suffered great danger of being drowned.Humpty looking about in a manner quite brave,For something that his dear life would save.Soon he was smiling, so instead of a boatHe found an old tub, and he set it afloat,With a pole for a mast, and a shirt for a sail,And his friend with a bellows to blow up a gale.-9-- Q __
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The Adventures of Humpty Dumpty.Poor Humpty thus started the boat to pursueUrged on by the blowing of Buckle-my-Shoe.But the bellows soon burst, and the tub would not sailAnd Humpty was scared to see a whale's tail;While old One-Two, was blown by the shockRight into the water, clear of the rock.Tom Tucker and Goody sailed happily on,By the good fairy's steed so gaily borne.In grottoes of crystal they found their domain,Where happiness dwelt and there never came pain,And dwelt there for ever, as they indeed should,Protected by fairies who love all the good.But Humpty the rogue, he ended his sailBeing gobbled up in the jaws of the whale;And a shark lay hold of old Buckle-my-Shoe,And the fishes, between them, they swallowed the two.Now all good readers who have read this story,Have seen Humpty's adventures in sadness and glory;But his time came, against which he could not defendThat put the adventures of Humpty Dumpty to an END.-10
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