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1 THE A/R/TOGRAPHIC TRAIL: STUDIO PRACTICE AS ENGAGED PEDAGOGY By JULIET A. ARAUJO A CAPSTONE PROJECT PRESENTED TO THE COLLEGE OF FINE ARTS OF THE UNIVERSITY OF FLORIDA IN PARTIAL FULFILLMENT OF THE REQUIREMENTS FOR THE DEGREE OF MASTER OF ARTS UNIVERSITY OF FLORIDA 2012
STUDIO PRACTICE AS ENGAGED PEDAGOGY 2
STUDIO PRACTICE AS ENGAGED PEDAGOGY 3 2012 Juliet A. Araujo
STUDIO PRACTICE AS ENGAGED PEDAGOGY 4 DEDICATION This Capstone Project is dedicated to Carl Edwin Erickson who walk ed with me every step of the way.
STUDIO PRACTICE AS ENGAGED PEDAGOGY 5 ACKNOWLEDGMENTS I would like to sincerely thank my family, my supervisory committee, my students and every art teacher I ever had in my life, for their encouragement and tireless belief in me. My deepest gratitude goes to the Appalachian Trail for being there whenever I need it
STUDIO PRACTICE AS ENGAGED PEDAGOGY 6 TABLE OF CONTENTS DEDICATION ................................ ................................ ................................ ................... 4 ACKNOWLEDGMENTS ................................ ................................ ................................ ... 5 TABLE OF CONTENTS ................................ ................................ ................................ ... 6 PREFACE ................................ ................................ ................................ ....................... 12 Footpath for the People ................................ ................................ ....................... 12 The Approach Trail ................................ ................................ ................................ .. 13 CHAPTER ONE: THE A/R/TOGRAPHIC TRAIL ................................ ............................ 14 Finding my Trail Legs ................................ ................................ .............................. 14 Statement of the Research Problem ................................ ................................ ....... 15 Going the Distance ................................ ................................ .............................. 15 Rationale and Significance of the Study ................................ ................................ .. 17 Hike Your Own Hike ................................ ................................ ............................ 17 My Work as an Artist ................................ ................................ ............................... 17 My Work as a Teacher ................................ ................................ ............................ 19 Excess Baggage ................................ ................................ ................................ .. 19 JuJoStudio: Questioning, Thinking and Making ................................ ...................... 20 Living Pedagogy/Evolving Curriculum ................................ ................................ 21 Supporting Literature ................................ ................................ ............................... 22 Method of Research ................................ ................................ ................................ 24 Literature and Art Making as Process ................................ ................................ .. 24 Thru hiking the Sketchbook/Journals: Reflections of the Studio Mind ................. 25 Limitations of this Study ................................ ................................ .......................... 26 Conclusion ................................ ................................ ................................ ............... 27 CHAPTER TWO: THE LITERATURE ................................ ................................ ............ 28 (Re)viewing the Landscapes ................................ ................................ ................... 28 Art Based Research ................................ ................................ ................................ 28 Art Based Educational Research ................................ ................................ ............ 29 When the Student Arrives the Teacher Appears ................................ ................. 30 Autobiographical Research ................................ ................................ ..................... 32 Voicing the Narrative Self with A/r/tography ................................ ........................ 33 The Sum of Complexity ................................ ................................ ........................... 33 CHAPTER THREE: THE PROCESS AS PRODUCT ................................ ..................... 34 The (Un) Design of Living Inquiry ................................ ................................ ............ 34 W alking my Talk ................................ ................................ ................................ ...... 36 The Process: Establishing Trail Legs ................................ ................................ ...... 36 Living Inquiry Can Be Messy ................................ ................................ ............... 36 Thru hiking the Sketchbook/Journals ................................ ................................ ...... 38 First Walk: Writing (In) Between the Lines ................................ ........................... 38 Second Walk: Talking my Walk ................................ ................................ ........... 41 Walk Three: Start and Stop Hiking ................................ ................................ ...... 41 Walk Four: Hands on Hiking ................................ ................................ ................ 42 Distilling the Data Through Inductive Intuition ................................ ..................... 43 A Brief Introdu ction to the Renderings ................................ ................................ .... 43 The Data as Art ................................ ................................ ................................ ....... 45
STUDIO PRACTICE AS ENGAGED PEDAGOGY 7 Insight From the A/T: Rendering Data as Art on the A/r/tographic Trail .................. 47 The Trail of My Pedagog y ................................ ................................ ....................... 47 CHAPTER FOUR: THE FINDINGS ................................ ................................ ................ 50 Renderings ................................ ................................ ................................ .............. 50 The Gaps: Studio/Classroom as One ................................ ................................ ...... 51 What Was Once Mine is Now Ours ................................ ................................ ..... 51 The Portals: Service Learning in Haiti ................................ ................................ ..... 54 A Time to Paint ................................ ................................ ................................ .... 55 The Repetitions: Sameness and Difference ................................ ............................ 58 The Flows: Where the Past and Present Meet ................................ ........................ 60 CHAPTER FIVE: SIGNIFICANCE OF THE FINDINGS ................................ ................. 63 Blazing a Trail of (Un) Knowing by Writing ................................ .............................. 63 The Research Journey of Ten Thousand Pages Begins with a Single Word ...... 64 Using Sketchbook/Journals In New Ways In The Studio/Classroom .................. 65 Back to the Future of Community Based Art Education ................................ .......... 67 Concluding Thoughts ................................ ................................ .............................. 68 The A/r/tographic Trail Revisited ................................ ................................ ......... 69 APPENDIX A : The Rendering of Trail Gaps .!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 72 APPENDIX B : The Rendering of Trail Portals !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ... 73 APPENDIX C : The Rendering of Trail Repetitions !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 75 APPENDIX D : The Rendering of Trail Flows !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 77 APPENDIX E : 14 Renderings Data as Art: 1980 1984 !!!!!!!!!!!!! ... 79 APPENDIX F : 14 Renderings Data as Art: 1985 1990 .. !!!!!!!!!!!!! 80 BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 87
STUDIO PRACTICE AS ENGAGED PEDAGOGY 8 LIST OF FIGURES Figure 1. Bronze plaque at Springer Mountain, the southern terminus of the AT bears the phrase: "A footpath for those who seek fellowship with the wilderness." !! .. 12 Figure 2 After six months of walking, I made it to the Northern terminus of the Appalachian Trail. The experience of hiking from Georgia to Maine informs this study and continues to be an important lens through which I view the world. ......... 13 Figure 3. In research as in walking, all things are connected. ................................ ........ 16 Figure 4. Getting and keeping to the point was a challenge for this wanderer. This work was done by burning wet paper with an iron, a process that sprung from my need to make something concrete of my tendency to ruminate endlessly in my writing. (To the Point, 20 12 Juliet Araujo) ................................ ................................ ........ 16 Figure 5 My work over the years has been motivated by personal lived experience. ... 18 Figure 6. This mixed media assemblage presents the experience of the shattering of my identity that happened early in my career due to my belief that I could not possible maintain my studio practice if I also was teaching art. Juliet Araujo, 2004. .......... 20 Figure 7. JuJoStudio is my studio/classroom where I make my art and my students make theirs. ................................ ................................ ................................ ............. 21 Figure 8. A perfect analogy for the data collecting experience in this inquiry ... !!! .. 34 Figure 9. The sketchbook/journals lined up as mountain profiles. Juliet Araujo .......... 38 Figure 10. The Writing on the Wall. Random passages from the journals were layered in paint and oil stick on a wall in the studio through out this research journey. JulietAraujo, 2012. ................................ ................................ ................................ 40 Figure 11. The renderings charted by frequency and major life events (1980 2012) 44 Figure 12. The Four Renderings as One: The Endless Range, version 1 ...................... 46 Figure 13. The Four Renderings as One: The Endless Range, version 2 ...................... 46 Figure 14. The 14 Appalachian Trail Renderings 2000 2012 represents the most current data created by the 14 journal entries from each rendering group that were evocative of the Appalachian Trail. ................................ ................................ ......... 49 Figure 15. The 14 Appalachian Trail Renderings 1990 2000 ................................ ......... 49
STUDIO PRACTICE AS ENGAGED PEDAGOGY 9 Figure 16. The Renderings: The Gaps ................................ ................................ ........... 50 Figure 17. The Dresses of Famous Artist's: Mary Cassatt, Frida Kahlo, Georgia O'Keeffe, Louise Nevelson and Clara Peeters (Student work ages 9 11). ............. 52 Figure 18. I Surrender, 2009 Juliet Araujo, mixed media on wood panel, 96 x 84.This is an example of how my ways of working show up in the curriculum and materials that I use with my stude nts. ................................ ................................ ..................... 53 Figure 19. The Renderings: The Portals ................................ ................................ ........ 54 Figure 20. The Renderings: Repetitions ................................ ................................ ......... 58 Figure 21. The Renderings: The Flows ................................ ................................ .......... 60 Figure 22. One of my high school student's sketchbook/journals inspired by new ways of using reflective journaling as a result of this study. ................................ ............. 66 Figure 23. The new A/T: The A/r/tographic Trail is open for walking new inquiries into the future of my evolution as a community based artist/ educator. ......................... 71
STUDIO PRACTICE AS ENGAGED PEDAGOGY 10 Abstract of Capstone Project Presented to the College of Fine Arts of the University of Florida in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree of Master of Arts THE A/R/TOGRAPHIC TRAIL: STUDIO PRACTICE AS ENGAGED PEDAGOGY By Juliet A. Araujo August 2012 Chair: Dr. Elizabeth M. Delacruz Major: Art Education The purpose of this capstone project is to gain insight into my evolving pedagogy. The metaphor of the trail as a walking journey structures this inquiry. Using an autobiographical narrative rendered through the qualitative form of art based educational research known as a/r/tography, I immerse myself in writing and art making as living inquiry, to express the meaning and value of my studio practice as a form of engaged pedagogy (hooks, 1994). Engaged pedagogy seeks to uncover new sites for learning and teaching in the spaces where knowledge is constructed, uncovered and shared as a reciprocal experience between teacher and student. Thirty two sketchbook/journals created over the past 32 years are mined, analyzed, and reflected back in new artwork presented a s visual data. This project is further expressed both visually and textu ally in the blog at www.theartographictrail.com
11 This is a walk into metaphorical places. The hyphenat ed spaces between the slashes of the artist/researcher/teacher mark a footpath for walking The A/r/tographic Trail from the studio to the classroom. My research concludes with the knowledge that the valu e and meaning of my pedagogy centers on the importance of caring, making, questioning, doing and knowing; and that self reflection is important in the evolution of my artist/teacher identity emerging as a community based art educator.
STUDIO PRACTICE AS ENGAGED PEDAGOGY 12 PREFACE Footpath for the People The Appalachian Trail is a 2,181 mile long public footpath that traverses the scenic, wooded, pastoral, wild, and culturally resonant lands of the Appalachian Mountains. Conceived in 1921, built by private citizens, and completed in 1937, today the trail is managed by the National Park Service, U.S. Forest Service, Appalachian Trail Conservancy, numerous state agencies and thousands of volunteers. It takes 5,000,000 adult footsteps to hike the entire trail. ( US National Park Service, 201 2 para 1) Figure 1 Bronze plaque at Springer Mountain, the southern terminus of the AT bears the phrase: "A footpath for those who seek fellowship with the wilderness Each spring thousands of hikers arrive at Springer Mountain in Georgia, with the goal of walking over miles of rigorous terrain to Mount Katahdin in Maine. About one in four make it all the way. Women make up about 25% of the total reported hikes completed 1 Some are experienced backpackers thru hiking from end to end O thers have little or no experience and are not prepared for the pain and boredom, or the power and glory that lie on the journey ahead (US National Park Service, 201 2 ). 1 The Appalachian Trail Conservancy records hiker statistics annually. For more information see http://www.appalachiantrail.org/%5D
13 The Approach Trail On a crispy spring morning in the rugged highlands of Northwest Georgia, I stood at the base of Springer Mountain with thirty four pounds on my back and my tireless canine companion Boneca at my side. For the next six months, I journeyed north on the Appal achian Trail through fourteen states, into three seasons, and out of the various weather conditions that nature would afford. On a brilliant autumn afternoon, I reached Mount Katahdin, in northern Maine, one of that 25% of women who reported completing the AT that year. ( a uthor's journal, September 27, 200 8 ) Figure 2 After six months o f walking I made it to the Northern terminus of the Appalachian Trail. The experience of hiking from Georgia to Maine informs this study and cont inues to be an important lens through which I view the world. "I believe that there is a subtle magnetism in Nature, which if we unconsciously yield to, will direct us aright" (Thoreau, 1863/2010, p. 49). In her book Wanderlust: A History of Walking Reb ecca Solnit (2000) asserts that walking and making share a common spirit, a spirit of engagement of the body and mind with the world. Since my 2007 thru hike, walking has become a way of making the world my own; o ther ways are research/writing art/making, and teaching
STUDIO PRACTICE AS ENGAGED PEDAGOGY 1 4 CHAPTER ONE: THE A/R/TOGRAPHIC TR AIL Finding my T rail Legs 2 After a twenty five year absence from academia, I began my graduate studies in art education through the portal of my fulltime studio practice. Grounded by my identity as an artist, I am experiencing this return as a natural extension of my journey toward self actualization. I stand in agreement with Abraham Maslow (197 3 ) the humanist psychologist whose work focused on the realization of human potential. I believe in see king the highest reaches of consciousness and creativity through the examination of lived experience ( Beittel, 1985; Maslow, 1973; Shaefer Simmern, 1948/1961). This is the call that continues to draw me deeper into teaching today ; a call to ward the transform ation of my pedagogical concerns t hat reflect the artist/researcher/teacher I am always in the process of becoming Early on, in my educational journey I believed that the task s involved in my final master's research would look quite different from the ar tistic thinking of my studio mind. Instead, by way of the A/r/tographic Trail (A/T 3 ) I found a common ground in the interstitial spaces that link theory to practice in the artful educational research methodology known as a/r/tography (Irwin & de Cosson, 2004). Using the metaphor of 2 The hiker's term for a phenomena that occurs in long distance hiking, wh en the pain of getting in shape gives way to the seamless experience of walking. 3 The A/r/tographic Trail or the A/T, my own creation is a playful use of words, inspired by a/r/tography's use of a literary device called metonym. Similar to a metaphor, met onyms are creative word manipulations that involve substituting words for other words to challenge the reader by accessing openings for new meanings involving the reader in reflections on the "fragmentedness of knowledge itself" (Springgay, 2004. p. 62).
STUDIO PRACTICE AS ENGAGED PEDAGOGY 15 the walking journey throughout this paper I refer to the subjective experience of my 2007 thru hike of the Appalachian Trail ( AT 4 ). I approached this research as a n autobiographi cal narrative. This metaphor provides a subjective vehicle for moving more deeply into the inquiry, while a /r/tography lends a theoretical framework for the creation and interpretation of the data This approach helped me to contextualize express and validat e my personal lived experience as an artist and teacher Statement of the Research Problem Going the D istance Like many art educators, I came to teaching through a passion for making things. My creative expression is how I have come to recognize myself. C ommitment to a disciplined studio practice has allow ed me to walk into the messiness of autobiographical narrative research and to come out of this experience more whole as a n artist/ researcher/ educator (Irwin & de Cosson, 2004). Every time I wandered off the research trail, working in the studio helped to redirect my course by bring ing me back to the central questions that fueled this study: How does my studio practice embed itself into my teaching? How does my commitment to making and doing translate into new insight that can i nform my calling as a community based art educator? What does all this mean? (See Figure s 3 and 4 below ) 4 The AT is a widely accepted abbreviated name for the Appalachian Trail, especially for those most intimately connected to it.
STUDIO PRACTICE AS ENGAGED PEDAGOGY 16 F igure 3 In research as in walking all things are connected Figure 4. Getting and keeping to the point was a challenge for this wanderer. This work was done by burning wet paper with an iron, a process that sprung from my need to make something concrete of my tendency to ruminate endlessly in my writing. (To the Point, 2012 Juliet Araujo)
17 Rationale and Significance of the Study Hike Y our O wn H ike 5 The purpose of this study was to gain insight into my pedagogy for new understandings of myself as an artist/educator, and to share my journey with other s. I am interested in exploiting the possibilities of alternative ways of knowing and being. I continue to work toward the fulfillment of my dream of (art) education as a practice of freedom a concept rooted in the postmodern thought of the American author, feminist and social activist, bell hooks (1994). Education as the practice of freedom illuminates the diverse connections between race, class and gender and focuses on the reciprocity of the student/teacher relationship In my attempts at meeting this en d, I am encourage d to wa nder into the pedagogical spaces between the studio and the classroom T his inquiry has allowed me to explore the, who, what, when, where and how of my identity construct I am always in a state of becoming as an artist/educator al ways in a state of flux T his work i s a w alking journey of continuous change My Work as an Artist Over the years, m ost of my artwork has been motivated by personal lived events. Addressing identity, gender, childhood, sexuality, and motherhood, I stand in firm agreement with Carol Hanisch 6 (1969) who is credited with the statement "the personal is political. 7 Committed to a daily studio practice, I have absorbed key ideas from my post modern past most notably the feminist art movement, surrealis m, 5 This is the mantra of thru hiking, this means that you are free to hike the Trail in your own way. 6 Hanisch (2009) is credite d with being the originator of this slogan from her groundbreaking paper, The Personal is Political (1969) originally published in Notes from the Second Year: Women's Liberation ( 1970 ). Carol Hanisch of the Women's Liberation Movement (para 1). Retrieved from http://carolhanisch.org/
STUDIO PRACTICE AS ENGAGED PEDAGOGY 18 primitivism, expressionism, and conceptualism, as well as non art sources such as psychoanalysis, spirituality, phenomenology and mysticism. The examples of my artwork in F igure 5 show prevalent themes of personal identity rooted in my life experience as a mother, daughter, wife, artist and teacher. As an entrepreneur and the mother of four, life quite often got in the way, but I somehow managed to find time to keep making art over the long haul. Figure 5 M y work over the years has been motivated by personal lived experience
19 My Work as a Teacher Coming to art education at midcareer, 20 years after earning a BFA in painting I discovered my passion for art education while working as a sales rep resentative for a wholesale distributor of fine art suppl ies I began teaching in store classes aimed at skill building and selling product E ventually I need more theor etical understandings to support my growing int e rest in teaching and sought an alternate route to K 12 art educator certification I then taught for three years in an inner city bi lingual elementary school in Hartford, CT where I practice a disciplined based approach to art education This was the only model I was exposed to in the certification progr am. My experience in Hartford was challenging i nitially I was ill prepared for the realities of classroom management and the balancing my teaching, parenting and art making energies but I fell in love with my students and the ir genuine joy in making art I loved my job and I worked hard everyday to share my belief in "the power of art to expose the questions that have been hidden by the answers" (Baldwin, 1962, p. 16) Excess Baggage I entered the field of art education from the shattered exp erience of a splintered identity (see Figure 6 ). I suffered the fragmentation of my artist/ teacher in my undergraduate years When I finally came to teaching, it was as a seamless extension of my studio practice, which was urging me toward a more social experience as an artist A fter many years of isolat ion in the private world of my Night Studio 8 I saw teaching as a new path into the community a more public sphere where I could grow as an artist and as a person 8 A term I use to describe my late night studio time. This became my mainstay during my child rearing years from 1987 2007.
20 Figure 6 This mixed media assemblage presents the experience of the shattering of my identity that happened early in my career due to my belief that I could not possible maintain my studio practice if I also was teaching art. Juliet Araujo, 2004. JuJoStudio: Questioning, Thinking and Maki ng After a decision to move to Florida and le aving my elementary school position in Connecticut, I establish myself as a n independent art educator at my present location in Naples. For the past six years I have been teach ing small classes for children of all ages in my studio/classroom I call JuJoStudio (see Figure 7) Since my studio is my
21 classroom, prior to this inquiry I use d the combined word studio/classroom in descriptions of the studio without much thought as to the s paces between the slash A/r/tography has encouraged me to explore the slash between the two words as places ripe for inquiry. I make my own art in and around my students and teaching. The borderland between the two is a blurry one at best. By working in the same place as I teach the cross pollination between the two is always available for further study. Figure 7 JuJo S tudio is my studio/classroom where I make my art and my students make theirs. Living Pedagogy/Evolving Curriculum The curriculum of my studio/classroom is always evolving C entral to my pedagogy is the foundation of questioning and thinking grounded in messy processes that encourage making things as a form of storytelling I believe in p aying attention to
22 the big ideas and essential details to access the possibilities relevant to my student's lives I nurture creativity as a way to connect and empower. A llow ing room for freedom of expression inspired by critical inquiry enable s me to experience my studio practice as rese arch and my research as studio practice. The blazing of the A/r/tographic Trail has accessed new ways for walking more deeply into my work with the ideas, people, materials and processes of the studio/class r oom I am presently working toward increasing levels of engagement with the local and global communit ies in my desire to make a difference in the lives of others. Supporting Literature The overall framework of the walking metaphor is rooted in the writings of Henry David Thoreau, the 19 th century American poet and philosopher who has inspired my thoughts with his reflections on nature and simple living. Thoreau (1863/2010) believed in a perso n 's right to stand up against the dominant mainstream culture He mod eled his beliefs by immers ing himself in the natural world of walking, thinking, and writing and seeing as multiple ways of being /knowing Thoreau's ideas about self sufficiency and the simplicity of life's true essential needs continues to draw my attent ion in and out of the studio/classroom. The literature supporting the development of a more socially just engaged pedagogy include s the transgressive 9 ideas of bell hooks (1994) and Paulo Freire (1997) Freire and hooks believe that teachers should live part of their dreams within 9 Another term used by bell hooks tha t draws on Paulo Freire's work, which questions relationships of power and authority between students and teachers and the importance of bonding in the engaged classroom (Burke, 2004 ).
23 their classrooms. To do this I must trust that I frequently have more to learn than to teach. Freire and hooks view the subjects of learning and teaching as political acts that facilitate knowi ng as reflecti on and action. The autobiographical narrative of the artist's studio practice is a vehicle for self reflection. Artists over time have looked within themselves to f eed the content of their work. Kenneth Beittel (1989/1992) believed that deep levels of introspection enables an artist to dwell in the present moment thus accessing higher levels of consciousness through art making When approached from this perspective, art making can be experienced as a way of knowing. The spiritual role of the artist as a conduit for making meaning by connecting heart, head and hands has been motivation for many artists across time. Viewing the self as spiritual, social and political allows for the narra tive within the inquiry to move theory and practice toward a more holistic perception and experience of everyday reality (Campbell, 2005). Barone and Eisner (2012) warn us that the term art based or practice led research is not self explanatory (p. xii) It is an attempt to use the expressive qualities of thinking forms and forms of representation, to engage the reader/viewer as a participant in relationship with the experiences of the author Art based research is grounded by the assumption s that there are multiple forms of representation in the world The process of artful inquiry adds complexity to the research process and increases the wonder of things (Sullivan, 20 06 ) by promoting unc ertainty and doubt (Barone and Eisner 1997 ) This process can be a messy one through it s focus on outside the box thinking to fuel and challenge the critical expression of the creative imagination.
STUDIO PRACTICE AS ENGAGED PEDAGOGY 24 In the Handbook of the Arts in Qualitative Research Susan Finley defined art based research as socially responsible practic e that uses a variety of methodologies to partner art with social science research (Knowles & Cole, 200 7 ). The artist's studio is a prime location to seek and to find; to capture, reflect and inquire into new ways of seeing and being as an artist/art educa tor. Graeme Sullivan (2006) tells us "the imaginative and intellectual work undertaken by artists is a form of research" (p. 223). Art based educational research is about exploring alternative means for searching educational settings to access the awareness of the possibilities in these alternative ways of knowing that the artistic imagination engenders (Barone & Eisner, 2012). Art based educational research involves art making in both the inquiry and the presentation of the inquiry ( Barone & Eisner, 1997). This process can help to reframe tacit understandings of teaching and learning (Mantas and Di Rezze 2011) in the acknowledge ment of "non literary artistic media" (p ara 5 ) Learning to teach and teaching to learn (Cole & Knowles, 20 0 1 ) is not about putting students inside boxes or even taking them out; but rather to facilitate their artful investigation of those boxes from all angles Method of Research Literature and A rt M aking as P rocess In this study, I engaged in writing and art making, structured by the open ended process of living inquiry which meanders through my lived experiences on the winding trail blazed by my studio sketchbook/journals in their reflections of my studio thinking m ind Th is research process is actively blogged at The A/r/t/ographic Trail (www.theartographictail.com) a n online reflective journal that marks the terrain of this
25 journey. The purpose of this site is to eng age viewers as participants in their own journey as I share mine own insights along the way For the purpose of the journey, I (re)walked the trail of my studio practice through the retrospective examination of my past. I looked back to see what I could s ee differently and look forward to how I can move into the future through the studio/classroom as a more fully engaged artist/educator. Data created from the mining of thirty two of my own sketchbook/journals 10 spanning the years from 1980 to 2012 serve d as a non linear, rhizomatic 11 research map A/r/tography seeks to uncover new situations for the experience of learning and teaching. As a site for t he unfolding of artist's imagination, the studio is well suited to this research model that is "steeped in arts a nd education" (Irwin et al., 2006, p. 70). Thru hiking 12 the S ketchbook/ J ournals: Reflections of the S tudio M ind Making multiple passes through my journals, repeatedly scanning them for data, allowed for a variety of the entries to leap out a t me offering openings for the construction of new information These entries were eventually clustered into groupings and further organized by using the a/r/tographic devices known as r enderings 13 as 10 Sketchbook/journals refers to the books of my reflective writing and visual journaling that document my studio practice and artistic ways of knowing. Since my art making and my life are intertwined, they also those aspects of my life that show up in the work. For the purposes of this study the written text is being privile ged over the visual art in these books and are therefore also referred to as journals 11 In botany, a horizontal underground root system that extends directly from the main stem of a plant and grows into shoots and roots of a new plant. (Encyclopedia Brita nica online. (2012). Rhizome Retrieved from http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/501483/rhizome ). This term is frequently used in a/r/tography as a metaphor for the unpredictable out comes that often result from this form educational research. 12 Thru hiking is the term for hiking a long distance trail from end to end at one time (Bruce, 2007). 13 Renderings are structural devices for sharing the research findings (see Chapter Four).
26 defined by Springgay, Irwin, Leggo, & Gouzouasis ( 2008 ) As I investigated the content of the journals these renderings slow ly emerged through a process of systematic induction as the result of four passes through the journals Thematic groupings were labeled by renderings of my own inspired by the metaphor of the w alking journey The varieties of e xperiential learning and making was then reflected back as new artwork in digital form and used as data that embodies a visual expression of the journey Limitations of this Study Due to the personal autobiographical natu re of this study, there are limitations to this study. The nature of the personal narrative is to tell your story in a voice that speaks to others. This study is the autobiographical narrative on a middle class female artist/educator, therefore this story may exclude some even as it attempts to include others. I draw on the ethics of the caring classroom (Nodding, 1996) that engenders the spirit of compassion in education Yet it is beyond the scope of this study to move more deeply into the re alm of this spiritual process th at recogni zes t he vital importance of connecting to the inner artist/ teacher The further pursuit of the spiritual journey involved in art making is left for future inquir y The powerful use of the symbolic metaphor the Appa lachian Trail and walking limits this study as well Not all personalized analogies are transferrable to others Art based educational researchers are interested in the relationship between form s of representation and form s of understanding as expressed as visual art to share new knowledge (Eisner, 1991). These explorations too have their limitations, as they are tied to the imaginative realm of the researcher and reader/viewer's abilities to access and interpret the deeper meanings beyond the surface. This inquiry is about process and does not follow a neat script The nature of non linear inquiry is both a
27 limitation and an asset to the potential insight gathered along the way. The a/r/tographic process is spontaneous and organic It opens m ultiple doors, many of which have been intentionally left ajar Due to its open ended character, the research question simply sets the stage for the process to unfold, as it will in the course of its critical engagement Conclusion This project is of value to those of u s who do much of our thinking through our hands. Art based research is a rich resource for capturing the depth and scope of the contemporary studio thinking mind. When approached as educational research through the use of a/r/tography, m ining for new ways of knowing and (un)knowing can expand the existing spaces of educational research by bringing multidisciplinary connections to seeing and sensing as data. In its encouragement of multiple approaches to reflective and responsive ways of being and experiencing, art allows access to unique ways of coming to know self and others through critical inquiry. The role of the subjectivity and memory of lived experience of the spiritual artist/researcher/teacher is most assuredly worthy of deeper investigati on.
28 CHAPTER TWO: THE LIT ERATURE (Re)viewing the Landscapes In the mid to late twentieth century, qualitative research began to open up to the idea that art could be of value as a metaphoric means to understanding how research could be transformed through artful inquiry (Barone & Eisner, 2012 ). This opening has lea d to the emergence of scholars in the arts and education for explor ing the possibilities accessed by this new terrain. While we still have much to learn from the social sciences, Graeme Sullivan (2010) suggests that we can achieve our research goals by wal king "different yet complimentary paths" (p. xix). Art Based Research Art based research is about exploiting the ways in which art can generate awareness. In art based research making can lead to the creation of data (Cahnmann Taylor and Siegesmund, 2008). As such, i t can be defined as the systematic use of the creative process as a vehicle for understanding (McNiff, 1998 ). Elliot Eisner coined the term art based research at Stanford University in California in 1993. Eisner's (1991) extensive writing on con noisseurship and the connections between the art s and education lead to the need for a label that could provide a structure for what research guided by aesthetic ideas might look like (Barone & Eisner, 2012 ) Connoisseurship i s the foundation of art based research B ased on Eisner's (1991) belief that "perception manifests itself in experience (p. 63), connoisseurship is about one's ability to discern both complex and subtle qualities in an instant. This sometimes requires letting go of what we know in fav or of what we see (Eisner, 1991)
29 Preeminent scholars in the field of art education differ slightly in their variations on the definitions and applications of art based research. Graeme Sullivan's (20 04 ) work on art practice as research has defined transcognitive 14 structures as a theoretical frame work for the artist's studio to be vi e wed and experienced as a locus for new knowledge that results from the multiple ways of artistic knowing As an art therapist, Shaun McNiff (1998) brings his professiona l experience and insight into the mind of the creative artist at work where the resulting tacit knowledge shapes the body and mind connection and leads to new paths for self knowledge McNiff's (1998) work focus es on the processes involved in the art makin g itself He a rgues, "every frame of reference carries its own standards of truth" (p. 39). Art based research is a vision for the unique ways of the artist 's studio thinking mind to play a role in the reform ation of research. Melissa Cahnmann Taylor and Richard Siegesmund (2008) and Patricia Leavy (2010) agree that art based research is both a political and ethical way to promote the understanding of diverse perspectives that may be otherwise in accessible to language alone (Barone 2001 ). Art Based Educational Research Art based educational research is an approach to educational research that relies on the expression of the artist's imagination as a means to the ways of gaining new understandings of how and what we can and do, or do not learn (Eisner 1991 ). Arts based educational research continues to emerge with a vested interest in the field of art education, as it is natural fit for a field that attracts many artists. As an invitation to contribute to the transformation of education the artists, researchers and educators 14 The effect of context of self and others on our ways of unders tanding.
30 who embody the visual as a language way of knowing are instrumental in the quest for improving current understanding s of teaching and learning (Sullivan, 2006). A rt based educational research has descriptive as well as prescriptive significance Drawing from the social sciences this method allows for the balancing of the aesthetic, social and psychological worlds. Acknowledging the potential for artwork to embody thought, and thus to constitute theory and generate new kn owledge, seems not only reasonable (McNiff, 1998; Sullivan, 2010; Bolt and Barrett, 2010; Barone & Eisner, 2012; Cahnmann Taylor & Siegesmund, 2008) but also natural (Rees, 20 10 ). When the S tudent A rrives the T eacher A ppears Kenneth Beittel (1983) reminds us that art making is a coming into being experience. In 1938, John Dewey was clear in asserting his belief that, by ignoring the essence of who we are as humans we miseducate (Aoki, 2005 as cited in Pinar & Irwin, 2005 ). The origin of a/r/tography is rooted in the ideas of Ted Aoiki, a Canadian curriculum theorist whose view on real world education involves (re) claiming the body mind and spirit as one unified whole. Art education has the potential to open into the new possibilities that result from making, doing and becoming. Aoki asks us to disrupt the status quo by accessing and sharing our personal narratives to open new sites for learning and teaching to occur (Pinar & Irwin, 2005) A/r/tography While art based rese arch is growing in its use in both North America and abroad, a/r/tography is still emerging. Rita Irwin and Alex de Cosson, coined the term in 2004 at the University of British Columbia where a group of a/r/tographic researchers excel in their efforts to e xpand its use. Irwin is an actively engaged artist/scholar who along with
31 others such as Stephanie Springgay (200 3; 2004; 2006; 2008a; 2008b) 15 Barbara Bickel (2010), Carl Leggo (2 008) and Alex de Cosson (2004; 2008) and others, continue to explore the v ast potential of this unique form of qualitative inquiry. Stephanie Springgay, (2008 b ) tells us "a/r/tography as a practice of living inquiry, engages in the interstitial spaces between know ing and doing. [This] is a method of process about intimacy and relationality where passions govern knowing and understanding rather than discipline and reason" (p. 140). According to Rita Irwin (2004) a/r/tography is a form of art based educational research grounded by Aristotle's three realms of knowledge: theoria (knowing), praxis (doing), and poesis (making /creating ). The defining characteristic of a/r/tography is that it "renders research inquiries through artistic means" (Irwin and de Cosson 2004, p. 1). To pract ice a/r/togtaphy "is to inquire into a phenomenon through an ongoing process of art making and writing while acknowledging one's role as artist (a), researcher(r), teacher (t)" (Irwin & de Cosson, 2004, p. 1). A/r/tographers, in multiple roles as researchers, artists, and teachers, give attention to the (un)knowing that embodies the spaces in between the slashes within the term itself. As a relational process, a/r/tography dwells within tensioned in/between spaces, seeking out and acknowledging discomfort as a vibrant place of becoming and learning ( Irwin de Cosson, 2004 ). The role of the a/r/tographer is to give voice/words and sight/visual art to the data that emerges through the attention to the playful/artful/meaningful exchanges within the living inquiry process. In this way perception is a reciprocal process as opposed to a fixed truth or static certainty (hooks, 1994 ; Pryer, 20 11 ; Springgay, 2003 ). 15 Stephanie Springgay has moved on to other work in curriculum studies at the University of Toronto and nolonger utilizes a/r/tography!." (personal email communication, September 21, 2011).
32 As a form of art based educational research a/r/tography approaches teaching and learning as acts of inquiry, so that art, research, and teachi ng are each "researched, represented, interpreted, and understood, in relation to the other, each intertwined and inextricably linked" (Irwin, et al., 2006). A/r/tography does not seek to answer questions or offer linear procedures that end with finely pac kaged answers. Rather, it provides a form of living inquiry that yields open ended questions The (u n ) folding of personal or collaborative group experience, in the ongoing search for deeper meaning, generates these questions There is no beginning and ther e is no end in a/t/ography. The possibilities for the future of this methodology in the field of art education are deep and wide T he transformative power of theory as practice is working to change our ideas about research (Springgay 2008 a ). Autobiographi cal Research Can I and you be me and we? Autobiography allows the conveyance of experience This experience gives structure to ethnographic interviews with the self as an interpretive device for integrating potentially fragment ed pieces of self gathered from walks into the theoretical realms of life history (Kirshenblatt Gimblett, 1989). In autobiographical narrative research, t he experience at hand is personal and available H ow the story is communicated is important, but the real importance is how and why the story is being told To bring meaning to the interpretation of the data, the self narrative as life story must been contextualized by explicating its meaning within the setting of its relation ship to other people, places and situations.
33 Voicing the Narrative Self with A/r/tography A/r/tography evokes a response to the change or unsettling that erupts in the process. In autobiographical approaches to a/r/tography, we continually construct narratives in order to structure the expression of our life experiences for ourselves and for others, in th is process teaching and learning merge. As teachers (and artists), we are natural storytellers (Moen, 2006) many of us are steeped in the seeking of meaning from the everyday realities before us. Hasebe Ludt, Chambers, and Leggo ( 2009 ) argue that the current proliferation of the narrative research approach increases the range of voices accessible to the public. Despite the individual differences in our personalized versions of the social, we learn and develop professionally within the context of our own realities When others mirror our realities, we are engaging in a self reflective dialogue Since the narrative is "halted mid sentence" by the fact that it is written down and captured by time, it i s forever partial and incomplete (p. 28). The Sum of Complexity Siegesmund and Cahnmann Taylor (2008) tell us that art based educational researchers can both create and critique, challenge and explain. As an artist I live in part for my desire to stretch my capacity for creativity and continu ation of the search for meaning in art/teaching/life. As an educator, a/r/tography invites me to shake myself up and see the difference that deep looking evokes. To paint a fuller picture of who I am in relation to oth ers is to see what is both here and not here. This is the (un)knowing piece of the a/r/tographic journey. This form of art based educational research asks us to look candidly at what these new possibilities might reveal.
34 CHAPTER THREE: THE PROCESS AS PRODUCT The (Un) Design of Living Inquiry This inquiry was deliberately (un)designed through a/r/tographic means. A/r/tography is a method that is (un)structured by the collapsing of traditional research formats that surround more formal notions of qualit ative research. Since a/r/tography is about paying attention to tangents, interruptions and unsettling conversations (Irwin et al., 2006), the design of this research is one of starts, restarts and stops For me, this is best reflected by the words of arti st Louise Bourgeois, the French American artist and sculptor known for her autobiographical abstract work steeped in symbolism Bourgeois, who spoke of her own art making/living process through the title of one of her sculptural installations at the Tate Modern in London, titl ed I Do, I Undo, I Redo (2000) ( s ee Figure 8 ) Figure 8. This is a perfect analogy for the data collecting experience in this inquiry. Louise Bourgeois (Artist) (1911 2010), I Do, I Undo, I Redo, (2000). Tate Modern (Gallery), London, England. Steel, marble, epoxy, wood, glass fabric installation. Used with permission from ARTstor Slide Gallery
35 Th is installation consist s of three steel towers with curvilinear stairs that the visitor/viewer could climb, should they dare. I sat down by the artwork one day for prolonged periods of time watching people interact with the piece Most visitors unfamiliar with the work remained p uzzled by the lack of signage /text as an entry or invitation to engage. With no accessible clues telling them how to experience/view the work, more visitors seemed to just simply walk awa y as oppose to walk up that tower and experience the work The viewe r/reader/hiker must ask herself the what, where, when, why of the details along the journey ; m ust be willing to risk the discomfort of not knowing. My experience with Bourgeois' piece is an excellent example of the data collection process es in volved in thi s inquiry In the (un)design of this study, I entered the open space that precedes creativity through the portal of my sketchbook/journals as research data I was forced to look at any underlying assumptions and beliefs that popped up in their attempt to redirect this inquiry by manipulating my collection efforts I had to be willing to enter the spaces of unknowing and move through the process repeatedly (re )experiencing the contradictions inherent in the expression: one step forward, two steps back. Just as walking on the AT uncovering the trail day by day. This is the do, undo, redo referred to above in the work of Louise Bourgeois. I n my examin ation of the journals I saw with each re reading would stake new claims often at the expense of the previous insight. Multiple re r eading s allowed for numerous experiences in doing, undoing and redoing. Eventually, rendering s emerged as patterns intuitiv ely revealing themselves through the systematic approach used in the journal mining process. In spired by the renderings of Steph anie Springgay (2008 b ) I
36 have co me up with my own version as such: g aps, portals, repetitions and flows These walk the metaphor of the trail forward on this journey. The A/r/tograph ic Trail is about experiencing art in life in the everyday reality, and then figuring out what this all mea ns W alking my T alk My tendency to wax philosophically, to ramble, romp, rumin ate, pontificate and fixate on the dualities that surround me, do es not serve more traditional scholarly research methodologies. Yet I have found a home on this unorthodox wander ing trail Rita Irwin et al., (2006) tells us, "the rhizomatic nature of a/ r/tography offers a methodology of situations." (p. 75). Such wanderings are the situations where the a/r/tographer can freely roam. As these situations present themselves in the everyday experience of this research journey, my insights shift to reveals new meanings in the dualities of my making and teaching further exemplified in Chapter F our The Process: Establishing Trail Legs 16 T he metaphor of walking and climbing mountains is framed by my thru hike of the Appalachian Trail in 2007 My resear ch journey has given rise to the new metaphor for the trail of my life : The A/r/tographic Trail, (A/T). I do not walk this path alone. On this new trail I carry with me, not my dog and a 32 pound backpack as I did on the Appalachian Trail but my students and my colleagues, without the m there would be no trail. Living Inquiry Can Be Messy A/r/tography differs from other models of art based research through its framing around the renderings as conceptualized organizers (Springgay 2008 a ). Renderings 16 The experience of less pain and more gain on the Trail, when the physical condition of the body matches the inner convictions of the mind.
37 have emerged from the data to give form to the inquiry so that it may be shared with others. The six renderings identified by Stephanie Springgay (2008 a ) are: conti g uity, living inquiry, metaphor/ metonymy, openings, reverberations, and excess. The rendering identified from the data for the purposes of this study, are adaptations that suit this particular inquiry in their reflection of the walking metaphor I employ. Gaps portal, flows and repetitions a re themes symbolic of the patterns revealed during the collection/creation of the data as I mined the sketchbook/journals This data was then clustered and applied to a linear gridded graphic organizer using AutoCad software to draw out and shape the text as image ry during the process of distillation of the findings as described below (see Appendices A F for data as text passages directly quoted from the journals ) A/r/tography seeks to create the condition for empathic responses through the construction of discursive space between the artist, researcher and teacher selves (Irwin & de Cosson, 2004) In meeting this end, these renderings serve as a framework for the discussions that begin s in the next chapter and are walked forward into the lives of those w ho choose to follow the A/T. They allow for the researcher as well as the reader/viewer to engage visually/artfully and textually/literally with the data to access their own conditions for communication/understanding in the construction of their own experi ential learning process Thus broadening the potential audience and expanding how the research can be used : by whom, for whom, for what purposes and to what possible ends? (Cahnmann Taylor, 2008)
38 Thru hiking the Sketchbook/Journals Thirty two sketchbook /journals were chosen through a blind random sampling fro m over 60 possibilities representing the years 1980 2012. The only years missing were 1989 an d 19 99 17 With the books laid out before me I began my walk into the past Lining them up chronologically, I then grouped them by decades, the resulting arrangement showed the peaks and valleys created by their various sizes and shapes. The resulting image reflects the mountains I have climbed ( See Figure 9 ) Figure 9. The sketchbook/journals lined up as mountain profiles. Juliet Araujo 2012 First Walk: Writing (In) Between the Lines With an aim toward experiencing the sketchbook/journals as data, I read through each book the first time with no attachment to r ecord keeping or documentation, as a sauntering through the backwoods. I took in the sights, and rather enjoyed this romp. My 17 The missing journals were lost somewhere in the shuffle of the 17 times that I have moved. These two years were also riddled with personal challenges due to childbirth a nd divorce.
39 consciousness was heightened to deliberately leave no trace 18 T herefore I took no notes This was a great challenge as I was tempted to write to hold onto the words, the goal was to be present and so I did not write a word, I simply read aloud and listened to the sound of my own voice Upon reaching the last pag e of the last book, I found myself to be fully in the mom ent, just there, alone in the studio, surrounded by the texts of my studio life's work. I knew then that I was once again at the beginning. Thoughts of the logic of the backward design curriculum model surfaced later that evening in my current sketchbook/j ournal Remaining open to the a/r/tographic flow that was quickly gaining momentum, the (un) designing of this research process continued to unfold as a daily studio practice that allowed me to pursue my own artful and scholarly inquiry as visual research In the studio I began by doing a new painting I call The Writing on the Wall. I p ainted this painting directly on the wall behind my desk for easy access during the research journey ahead. This new work comes from a long line of works in the series I call The Writing Pieces 19 (see Figure 10 ) The Writing Pieces are large sheets of canvas and/or paper painted with overlapping written passages from my journals and other text sources like articles and books. Their purpose is to work quickly a nd freely; to connect the body and mind to the hand; to enter the flow and quiet the inner critic. This was the first time I had painted directly on the wall. This approach made sense to me and resulted in a more pr esent 18 The Leave No Trace Center for Outdoor Ethics teaches people how to enjoy the outdoors responsibly. For more information go to: http://lnt.org/about 19 This painting is one in series of disciplined project rituals that I began in 2000. I paint/ draw overlapping sentences (often the words from my journals) on the wall or large canvas or paper over a period of days, weeks or sometimes even years.
40 experience of the painting process itself as opposed to stumbling over and/or forcing words, which is frequently a problem with this work. Figure 10 The Writing on the Wall. Random passages from the journals were layered in paint and oil stick on a wall in the studio through out this research journey. JulietAraujo, 2012. Through out this process I was able to free up more energy and focus by taking some studio time to compensate for the long hours when I needed to sit at the computer and write my paper. I painted text from the journals on the wall before each writing session for this project. As the days became weeks, t he words become more and more illegible Just a s walking on the Appalachian Trail whe re the hours turn into days, the days into months and the months into seasons, all time passages represent a constant state of changing textures. Just as with walking to Maine, I continue to paint /walk through full coherent sentences /days as complete passes across the wall from top to bottom, from left to ri ght from day to day Paint, oils stick and crayon merge in overlapping layers
41 eventually giv ing way to patterns of variegated colors that become a visualization of my jumbled mind as I continued to walk in all the data Second Walk: Talking my Walk My next pass through my sketchbooks involved reading the text aloud to gain an embodied acceptance of the sound of my voice. I wanted to shed some light on what my students might experience hearing my (teacher) voice reading from the pages. Using an adapted v ersion of Gray and Malins (2004) idea of audio reflection, 20 I read the text from each book aloud to myself. I chose not to make an audio recording, as I did not want to engage the potential for negative judgment at the sound of the recording. I thought thi s might confuse the experience of the moment with the historical associations I might bring to listening to the actual sound of my own voice alone in real time. Do y ou h ear w hat I h ear? Interesting insight gained from this practice centered on hearing my teacher voice my writer voice and my artist voice. Through the a/r/tgraphic process, the space was accessed to reclaim these voices as one in the same. I recorded my thoughts and feelings from this (audio) walk through the journals, as yet another pai nted layer of text in The Writing on the Wall ( a s seen above in Figure 10 ). In the studio/classroom sometimes I see and hear myself say and do things I did not know I knew. Walk Three: Start and Stop Hiking The third pass was a power walk into (un)knowing, treading quickly and heavily to avail a clear path; to blaze its course deeper into the earth. In the process of moving the data forward through the repeated re readings, the metaphor of the trail was begin ning to 20 "Talking aloud to yourself whilst making work/thinking about it, especially in relation to research project issues" ( Gray & Malins, 2004, pp.115).
42 reveal it self in the data as passages evocative of the walking metaphor, or the trail of my life seemed to jump out at me from the pages. I was left with a transformed version of the question that fueled this inquiry: How d oes w alking p ractice e m bed i tself i nto a rt e ducation ? This time I used post its to flag those entries that called out to me by their subliminal pull. In total 700 passages of text were tagged. I chose to tag only one passage at a time and re viewed the hundreds of passages of t ext over and over again. Their choosing was a balance between intuitive/fast and meditative/slow, the starting and stopping action was frustrating at times but ultimately I got through this phase of the journey. Still unclear as to what this all meant I ke pt walking. Like having to choose only one student from all who raise their hands, the choices were not always clear or logical. What did become clear was that there was much to choose from in these journals, as t he entries were usually thick and complex o r simple and clean. They were holding onto deeper meanings hidden in the next wal k Walk Four: Hands on Hiking I then typed the 700 text selections into a 40 page list. I read thru them for the first time in their new state of separation from their origin al bindings as books. Not handling the books with my hands took away their physical context and for days the data was lost to me. The importance of the tactile aspect of manipulating materials in my hands made itself known to me at this time as a view on t he past and a window into the fu t ure. Be it books or clay or paintbrushes experiencing the sense of touch is an integral piece of my making process and reminds me who I am.
43 Distilling the Data Through Inductive Intuition While I missed handling the journ als themselves as books this inductive approach to the data creation made the massive volume of passages far more manageable at this point. From the list view typed into pages, I was better able to see their messages and was then more capable of further distilling them into the groupings that were to become the renderings as they were further deducted into f our groupings from the long list of 700 journal entries. For the renderings, the number four was chosen randomly for its manageability in the next level of deductive reasoning that was to take place. These four groupings of the a/r/tographic renderings ser ved to codify the next leg of this journey as: gaps, portals, repetitions and flows chosen for their symbolic relationship to the metaphor of walking the trail also embodied the characteristic of my studio and teaching practice. A Brief Introduction to the Renderings I then retyped each rendering into four separate lists. This allowed me to easily draw them up as graphic images plotted by frequency and year in relationship to a timeline of major life events and pedagogical concerns to look for correlatio ns in their frequency ( s ee Figure 1 1 on next page )
44 Figure 1 1 The r enderings charted by frequency and major life events ( 1980 201 2 ) I seemed to have been blinded by my qualitative looking with quantitative eyes. For the better part of the next two weeks I stared at that graph, caught in the gap of (un)knowing that finally gave rise to the portal that lied ahead (author's journal, June 10, 2012) I then worked to see the data graphed in a chart that looked as if it were a part of a study from a more traditional form of research I began to ask myself again, what does all this mean? I may have been still wandering but I was not lost. With th is graphic image embedded in my mind I was in full gear and I walked home to the studio I began to see
45 what I could not seem to say or write. I knew I must separate the individual renderings and call them by name. The next distillations show each rendering as a whole entity unto itself and they were undoubtedl y mountain ranges in full elevation profiles. True to the nature of artful inquiry, the studio called me into the spaces between the typed text passages and their graphic renditions as a portal that lead me to graph the renderings separately ( S ee Figures 1 0 and 1 1 for a more complete interpretation of the individual renderings see Chapter Four ) The Data as Art The experience of creating the data as art was playful and revealing at the same time. Charting the data quantitatively through a graphic grid stru cture gave way to visual play that created a more qualitative or felt art based data (see Figures 10 11, 12 and 1 3 ) Looking back at these renderings is a generative process. Different passages speak to me at different times. It's amazing to think that after all these years of journal keeping how little time I ever spent re reading them the time in silence required
46 Figure 1 2 The Four Renderings as One: The Endless Range, version 1 Figure 1 3 The Four Renderings as One: The Endless Range, version 2
47 Insight From the A/T: Rendering Data as Art on the A/r/tographic Trail Due to the autobiographical nature of this living inquiry on the A/r/tographic Trail, the data collected here represents unfinished business, forever partial and incomplete. As readers, the artists and educators drawn to this study are invited to continue the experie nce by furthering its action into their own lives (Hasebe Ludt, Chambers & Leggo, 2009). This autobiographic narrative probes into some dark spaces that had been buried in the sketchbook/journals ripening for many years. When the data was rendered whole ( s ee Figure s 11 ) the flows lead to the repetitions, the repetitions to the portals and the portals to the gaps. This sequence unfolded when I cut out each of the renderings along the top edges as one piece ( s ee Figure 12) I then matched the side edges by th e size of their exterior line according to the shape of their profile/contour. When aligned in this way, the resulting elongated contour proved to resemble a spikey peaked mountain range filled with gaps, flows, and repetitions. Inside the flexible contour s of this research journey, I have come to "recognize the fullness and complexity of the layered, the cacophonous, and the ambiguous" (Siegesmund & Cahnmann Taylor, 2008, p. 234). The Trail of M y Pedagogy In the visual imagery from this study I came to experience the research journey for the true nature of its quest: to see what I could see. As I was experiencing it, this was indeed the trail of my pedagogy, the history of my art making practice and the wri ting on the wall served as the graph y of this journey. Like any given day on the t r ail, the pace of this project was slow at first and then began to build up momentum each step of the way. S uccessive pass es through the journals moved my inquiry through an inductive process of distilling the many journal entries into organized smaller groupings much more manageable for further investigation.
48 Looking for patterns or themes on the third pass provided the space for the specific passages to be contextualized metaphorical ly as they related to the walking/research journey. This gave way to still finer, more distilled versions until I was left with the fourteen final entries for each rendering. When rendered through this process, the data was n ow available on many levels for closer examination both visually and textually (see Figures 13 and 1 4 ). The hundreds of passages were reduced to the final fourteen most potently evocative of the Appalachian Trail. It was amazing to see the metaphor presen t even in the early years and interwoven throughout the text across time. Without conscious knowledge I saw that I had been climbing mountains most of my life. The number fourteen represents the fourteen states that I walked through on the Appalachian Trai l and my age when I decided to thru hike. These AT groupings created more data as artwork/artwork as data. (See Figures 1 3 1 4 15 18 and 1 9 ; for the data as tables see Appendices A, B, C and D ; for more data as art see Appendices E and F ) T he metaphor of the journey continued to rise up all around me. The A/r/tographic Trail has no beginning and no end ; it is forever incomplete. Like walking, making and teaching it is about ideas and movement and it is also about stops and starts. This is wh y we call it living inquiry. It lives and breathes into the life of the researcher
49 Figure 1 4 The 14 Appalachian Trail Renderings 2000 2012 represents the most current data created by the 14 journal entries from each rendering group that were evocative of the Appalachian Trail. (For more im a ges see Appendices E and F ) Figure 1 5 The 14 Appalachian Trail Renderings 1990 2000
50 CHAPTER FOUR: THE FINDINGS Renderings The renderings served as a carrier of the metaphor of the walking journey due to their relationship to the trail, yet they embodied their own symbolism that moves their significance in and out of my practice as an artist and teacher as well. The Findings revealed a constant condition of peaks and valleys between the gaps, portals repetitions and flows. There are times when specific life conditions influenced the frequency of any given rendering, but generally their occurrences where scattered through the 32 years in a relatively equal exhibition. The se renderings have exposed the data from inside out. By questioning what lies between, along w ith what lies beneath the text, I was better able to recognize and validate a knowingness implied by the overall importance of their consistency throughout my life as an artist/educator. Throughout this journey the renderings became more clear in their role as a unifying agent bringing together my studio, my classroom and my researc h. Figure 1 6 The Renderings: The Gap s
51 The Gap s : Studio/Classroom as One There are consistent gaps throughout the years reflected in the journals (see Appendix A ) In Figure 1 5 the gaps were highest around the times that were most challenging. In 1989 I had two babies at home and was indeed a starving artist. In 2006 I was preparing to hike the Appalachian Trail ; and in 2009 I made a decision to pursue my master's degree. Gaps are the critical place through which I must travel. So me are safer and easier to get to than others. The gaps in the journals reminded me of the ways in which my studio has been a passageway through the thick parts of teaching and making. On the trail, the gaps provided steep challenges (they are usually very difficult to climb out of). The sketchbook/journal revealed the gaps to be reflective of times when I was experiencing some difficulties around acceptance of some issue that required extremely hard work on my part. For example, "Just when we get there, th ere disappears" (author's journal, April 17, 2007) The good news is: The gaps almost always lead to portals with spectacular views making gaps well worth their climb. What Was Once Mine is Now Ours In my studio classroom the gaps are the spaces that link my students and myself. This can be seen in the ways that my curriculum has come into being as an extension of my own art practice. When I am working with certain materials or themes in my own work, this is what I bring to my students. If I am researching a particular artist, I too share this with my students. I use to think I needed a separate studio for my own making but sharing my studio with my students has resulted in reciprocity where our works feed each other. When the day is done and the children go home I am often left with the remnants of their making. I find myself using up their paint, paper scraps and
52 other materials they know better than to throw away. This practice of using things up has lead to some art making experiments that I may not have otherwise engaged in. This project depicted in Figure 1 6 was inspired by my own work. I have done many mixed media works that involve painting on dresses as a vehicle for visual storytelling It seem ed only natural to have my students do their own versions while learning about women artists last fall. They each chose an artist to research and then researched the women's fashion of the time. The ne x t week they brought in a dress that they thought this artist would have worn. Following the same processes I used in my work (see Figure 1 7 ) they saturated the dresses with gesso and told the story of their artist's life through drawing, painting and collage on the dress Figure 1 7 The Dresses of Famous Artist's: Mary Cassatt, Frida Kahlo, Georgia O'Keeffe, Louise Nevelson and Clara Peeters (Student work ages 9 11).
53 Figure 1 8 I Surrender, 2009 Juliet Araujo mixed media on wood panel, 96 x 84 This is an example of how my ways of working show up in the curriculum and materials that I use with my students. I once viewed JuJoStudio as my space, a space I chose to share with my students. I saw my students as my guests. Increasingly I am encouraged by a transformation of spirit that has helped me to climb out of the gap of mine and theirs into the portal of ours Offering an alternative site for art education has expanded my ways of being in the studio in ways that continue to unfold as my lived experiences in community wi th others provides me with many opportunities for the portals to the future of my own art making as well as my pedagogy
54 Figure 1 9 The Renderings: The Portals The Portals: Service Learning in Haiti The portals are windows on the past and views to the future. On the trail and in the journals they reflect crossing borders for a much needed view to another world. A portal entry from my journal dated December 13, 2007 states my sentiments about getting back to the studio after being away. "The canvas is my sacred space where my life can be laid bare and my spirit can be moved" (author's journal) ( S ee Figure 1 9 ) In the studio/classroom portals represent a passageway toward my own self actualization as an artist/educator. "Walking into new cultures reminds us why we are here" (author's journal, 1996). I believe that service learning, which is about integrating community service with meaningful teaching experiences aids in my professional development as an artist/educator. Service learning offers a unique op portunity to engage with others in the process of learning. Applying what we learn outside of the classroom to solve real life problems is about connecting with others as we find our way in the world (Bode, 2009). Th e following story is a journal reflection on a personal experience during a recent visit to Haiti.
55 A Time to Paint I have been traveling to Haiti several times a year since just after the 2010 earthquake that left this already struggling nation on the brink of emotional, spiritual and physical collapse. I was introduced to the opportunity to volunteer at an orphanage in Port au Prince through a n artist/teacher friend at our local arts center. The orphanage is safe and clean the 100 children who live th ere are well cared for by a committed loving staff. A quick 90 minute plane ride from where I live in Florida makes it easy to get to for several short periods of time each year. I am free to come and go whenever I can get away since v olunteers are welcome d and appreciated I go to Haiti without a mapped agenda, to help where I am needed and to do what reveals itself in the present moment. At times the work is focused on the kids at the orphanage where I stay. Other times the work that presents itself is i n the form of outreach to less fortunate children at tent cities in Cite du Soleil 21 one of the toughest places I've ever been. I am glad to stay at our home orphanage today since the kids have no school and as a result, we will get to spend more time together than usual. T he volunteer coordinator tells me that the orphanage owner/director would like me to fix a mural the older boys painted on one of the guest cottages. I find myself feeling very self conscious about fixing anybody else's art work, espe cially the older boys who challenge my already ability to connect with the difficulties of our language barrier and their shy ways 21 Sun City is an extremely poverty stricken and densely populated neighborhood located in Port au Prince, Haiti.
56 I gathered my paint and brushes and headed over to the basketball courts to see if I could find James 22 the young man respo nsible for most of the painting on the mural I was asked to work on. Jam es is 17, shy by nature, and as timid with his English as I am with my Creole. As we painted quietly together, a few other older boys came by and joined us. When Jack (age 9) successf ully pushed Grego ry (age 12) over the gravel in his wheel chair, I greeted them both with loaded paintbrushes, and motioned for them to paint the sky and water. With hand over hand sweeping motions. G regory was born with cerebral palsy and ha s grown up in his chair. I eventuall y taped the brush to his hand so he could work on his own 23 ; his glee was contagious. The joy in his eyes immediately caught the attention of Willy (age 7) who came tearing across the gravel in his all terrain wheelchair to join in the fun. The enthusiasm of the moment, both startled and angered, the older boys who stood frozen in their concern that their masterpiece would be ruined by the younger boys. I assured them that I would not let that happen Later that night at dinner with the other volunteers I learned that the children at the orphanage with physical disabilities were typically not included in art activities. G regory and W il ly and all the other handicaps (as they call the children in wheelchairs) are not ever allowed to paint. While volunteers frequently come to this orphanage and many spend their time holding, playing, and making things with the children, the socio cultural climate here has taught the st aff nan n ies that the children with physical disabilities cannot participate in certain activities like painting. I was happy to be a part 22 All names in this story are pseudonyms. 23 Gregory has weak muscular control of his hands and could not hold the brush by himself for too long.
57 of the joy of the painting party that afternoon which resulted in the view that everyone has abilities. From inside m y American middleclass perspective, I face the construct of borders that must be crossed when engaging in transcultural exchange. Service teaching/learning has helped to open my eyes to see what power structures might play in the limiting of a child's pote ntiality to be all he can be. I had kn o w n that G regory, who spends his days in a wheelchair, was born with cerebral palsy. I learned later that evening from another volunteer that he also could not hear or speak. I can't help but wonder how I might have tr eated G regory differently had I known that prior to our day working together on the mural? Would I have overcompensated in my processing of such knowing (ness)? The p ortals in this story are about communication, hope, opportunity and freeing oneself from l imitations. A/r/tography blazed a trail for me to inquire into the taken for grantedness expose d here by open ing the space between granted and ness for the inquiry into my assumptions surrounding the limitations of the labels often used to put people in bo xes. The living inquiry process teaches us the ways of (un)knowing ourselves in relationship with others, by (un)settling the waters around the sta t us quo (Springgay et al., 2008). Service learning/work can do the same by providing diverse openings into ne w spaces and places for this deep level of learning to occur. I am left with a question from Patty Bode (2009), who asks: How might art teachers inspire their students and how might art students inspire their teachers to view their global world as more interconnected and ultimately more changeable? (p.279)
58 I n this case, in the end it did not matter if I knew that Gregory was hearing me in the ways of the taken for granted ( ness ) that I as a teacher can too easily fall into with my students. The art ma king process accessed new forms of communication for us both. We painted, we laughed and we played together, in doing so, our hearing experience o f each other transcended its normal limitations and art became the vehicle for our connections. I have learned much about myself as an artist/educator from the time I spend in service with/to others while making and doing. Service learning and teaching gives me a view to the world outside of my own little studio. The first time I went to Haiti I felt I had crossed a threshold from my previous life as an artist alone in her studio into a new place for my energies as an artist/educator. Each time I go back to Haiti I am reminded by Gregory 's big smile how much making and doing matters in our world. One of the most im portant things I have learned about portals is that they can lead to repetitions. The Repetitions: Sameness and Difference "Repetition is sometimes a sad staccato. No running, no clinging, no writing, no painting. Having been there, having done that, havin g been there, and do it again". (author's journa l entry Sept 30,1993) Figure 2 0 The Renderings: Repetitions
59 The repetitions are active spaces where the everydayness of the journey builds a momentum that creates a sense of security and place (see Figure 18 above ) When experienced as a portal, t hey are not solely about sameness but also inclusive of the differences between things. Going to the same studio day in and day out putting on that same apron and painting that same painting over and over again is a repetition, but it's not about the sameness of the act that counts, it's about what I do with that quality of sameness I have come to find that repetitions are not sweeping statements or generalities. They seem to have a stable nature and yet I seem to wonder what is missing when I feel the repetit i ons creeping up around me. Repetitions are also about movement or stillness. They seem to be hiding a deeper inner activity that connects me to the onc e scattered pieces of my identity On the trail and in the classroom/ studio repetition can help me to bring up issues of inequality as it is also about balance, rhythm and the repetition that speaks to me today is from a journal passage dated June 18, 2001 : "You came out of a poem in silence. The point is what do you do with that silence" This space within repetitions makes it clear to me that repetition is about essence in this case silence. When repetition is passed off as texture as it often is in nature and art, it serves as a cover for the truth which is at it s very core. Repetitions help me to bring more consciousness to what we are making and what it questions or investigates on societal level. Who are my students? What do th ey need to question about the culture that we live in? What is my role as teacher and co constructor of this
60 learning situation? When I see the repetitions as openings that provide a sense of place and security they can lead to flow. The Flows: Where the Past and Present Meet "I want my students to grow up and blow me away!" (author's journal, January 21, 201 0) The flows represented in Figure 2 1 were easy to glean from the journals. Most of us know what it's like to be fully immersed, energized and focuse d. Csikszentmihalyi ( 1990 ) tells us that flow is characterized by a feeling of intense absorption, engagement, fulfillment, and skill. As an a/r/tographic researcher I have learned the importance of setting clear goals and setting my goals high. The journa ls are indicative of flows in those passages that reflect a lack of self consciousness and a distorted sense of time. The majority of flow entries from the journals are about art making. Figure 2 1 The Renderings: The Flows My studio practice has been largely about making a commitment to showing up. I have always figured if I show up enough eventually there will be flow. Sure enough the
61 studio flow represented by an entry from June 12, 1985 : "Bring the body and the mind will follow." This applies to my teaching practice as well. On those days when I am in the flow of art making and I have to stop that flow to clean up the studio and get ready for my students I sometimes get frustrated and drag my feet. Almost always this disruption of my own flow is rep laced by a new flow that streams from the studio/classroom when the kids are powerfully engaged in their own art making A /r/tography is about wandering into the spaces between the gaps, portals, repetitions and flows. Flow requires a balance between thing s and in order to experience this balance as an artist/educator I must underst and the place in which I stand To be in the flow can occur anywhere action and awareness merge This study has provide d me with many moments of flow W hen the writing and art m aking are matched by my enthusiasm and engagement my attention is present and I am in the moment. Like the flow of walking from Georgia to Maine, the flow of making and writing are a result of the renderings weaving themselves in and out of each other and all over my life. These renderings have become another piece in the puzzle that seeks reconciliation with the interconnections between the artist/researcher/teacher Flows are found in the overlapping between the progression of the years, thoughts, and wor ks where the overlapping of my identities has been found to be a rich source of insights render ed. It is in these very sites that I can lose track of time and wander without getting lost. The mountains seemed to rise from the data at every chance. The peaks and valleys of life are surely full of gaps and repetitions as well. The image of the A/r/tographic Trail is like that of a heart monitor. How perfect is that synchronicity?
62 These render ings have certainly gotten to the heart of the matter. Further graphic distillations of the data showed each rendering as an elevation profile similar to a mountain contour map When the data was portrayed graphically there was a tangible sense of knowing discovered/uncovered in the making and doing. The mountain elevation profiles that emerged from the data seemed to appear from the fog of the piles and piles of data that was accumulating in the studio and in computer files on my laptop. My experience was that t he more time I spent with the data, the more new data that could be created. My a / r / tographic research process was an intuitive flow that transitioned naturally from one phase to another in a spontaneous unfolding, much like the happenings of my stu dio mind. I came to the journals without a preconceived idea about what I would find; I did however come to the data believing that I woul d indeed gain some insight into my pedagogy In the mining process of these sketchbooks as qualitative data, I was int erested in revelation and progress as opposed to causal determination or prediction, with an end goal of professional and personal growth. The narrative style of thick and rich description is the top gravel, the rubble on the surface of this path. The more I worked with the data the more visual and written response I could express. The renderings overlap in the journals across time, t his inquiry revealed their connections to one another as a stream of consciousness beginning with the gaps that lead to the p ortals
63 CHAPTER FIVE: SIGNIF ICANCE OF THE FINDIN GS Blazing a Trail of (Un) Knowing by Writing M y journals have always been a window into my world, showing me how my thoughts drive my actions, as well as how my actions drive my thoughts. I use them to record my studio mind which encompasses the making, thinking, doing and knowing as experienced in the process of my self actualization as an artist(researcher)teacher. These books represent my investment in myself as an artist/teacher/walker. They map th e quiet unfinished spaces of my studio practice that gets buried by time, distraction or even neglect. Over the years they have served as a space for writing as meditation. Kenneth Beittel (1985) describes the need for "meditative thinking" (p. 55) as a vi tal part of the call to art making; as a path to higher consciousness My studio practice and my writing practice and my teaching practice merged through these renderings through the processes of making and writing. A/r/tographic inquiry is meant to disrup t the archive of memory. Hasebe Ludt, Chambers and Leggo (2009) call this psychic transformation, which leads to breakthroughs in both the personal and global realms. While I needed to put a temporary hold on the art making aspect of this project for the t ime being, I have experienced the A/r/tographic Trail as the Appalachian Trail. I t is indeed an endless as a circle: where I start seems far less important than where I finish and where I finish is also less important than the journey itself. Yet there is duality in that notion: as an inspired northbound AT thru hiker at the Southern terminus in the spring, I began my hike with the words of my friends and family telling me that it d idn't matter if I ma d e it to Maine. I believe d them for the first few months, but somewhere along the trail I realized that in hiking as in a/r/tography "You may finish where you started, but you have had the
64 experience" (author's journal, 1981) The R esearch J ourney of T en T housand P ages B egins with a S ingle W ord In walking towards something, even the unknown, I journey toward becoming amidst the pursuit for meaning. I may appear to be wandering but I am not lost. For me the walking journey is a metaphorical site that best exemplifies my path toward self actualizat ion. I gain personal (in)sight into ways of being in both the classroom and studio as they merge into one site that ripens with questio ns The importance of quiet spaces for thinking, making and doing, as reflected my thru hike of the sketchbook/journals has encouraged me to challenge and (re)think what (in)sight I have found. The emotional, physical and intellectual reverberations of my life 's journey structure my pedagogy with a passion that feeds my work as an artist/educator. In this position, I heed to the call of a more spiritually grounded philosophy of community based art (education) for myself and for my students. Quiet time alone in the wilderness has shown me the power of contemplative experience to transform my very soul. My heightened awareness for the need to walk into self reflective spaces alone and come out in community My focus on creating a compassionate learning/teaching e nvironment is grounded by my studio practice that is tied to my sketchbook/journaling practice. Miles to G o B efore I S leep Rethinking understandings leads to shifts in thinking and actions It can al s o disrupt meanings and lead to new possibilities. The sk etchbook/journals act as a (re)membering/(dis)membering of the past that brought me into the present through a portal that shows itself as trail to a more engaged pedagogy for my studio/classroom.
65 I have experienced new awareness of my role as artist/resea rcher/teacher I have ex perienced this journey as a cycle of repetition that encircles my inner core as I continue to walk through the gaps In turn, the past informs the present with the capacity to inhabit the studio/mind as a flow in the process of beco ming. A/r/tography is less about giving a voice and more about diving deeply within to re claim your voice. As a result of these reverberations, this study questions the future with a (re)claimed voice for the (re)surfacing of my narrative. A/r/tography as lived experience asks me to question not only my own (in)sight, but also much of what I encounter along the way. Alone for six months in the woods with thirty four pounds on my back, accompanied by my tireless ca nine companion allowed ample time for rumin ation. The emotional, physical and intellectual reverberations of this journey shape the structure of my pedagogy with a passion that fuels my love for making, doing and knowing. In this p osition, I heed to the call of a more spiritually grounded philosoph y of community based art (education) for myself and for my students. Using Sketchbook/Journals In New Ways In The Studio/Classroom Over the past 32 years I have used my sketchbook/journals as a reflective space to take quick notes and to record meaningfu l messages quotes and other rambling insights ; a place to record my own thought process es related to art making. This study h as accessed future possibilities for journal keeping a s a form qualitative research as well as the potential for the ir expanded u se in my own studio/classro om ( S ee new student sketchbook s in Figure 22 )
66 Figure 22 One of my high school student's sketchbook/journals inspired by new ways of using reflective journaling as a result of this study I n the past I have tended to use sketchbook/journals with my students as a vehicle for brainstorming ideas and for written critiques of their own and each other's work, but I have not been consistently committed to sketchbook/journaling. By walking the A/r/tographical Trail, new opportuni ties have presented themselves to inquire into and communicate my lived experience in artful ways. Recently I have expanded my use of sketchbook/journals in my high school class and plan to use sketch booking more regularly as a space for my students to explore their own ideas and to critically reflect on their own meaning making in their lives just as I have done for the past 32 years. These are the spaces that arise between teaching and learning between my students and I They have emerged through the r etrospective examination of my sketchbook/journals and have resulted in a move toward a more
67 critical engagement with the theories and practices I embrace in my studio/classroom as a community based art educator. Back to the Future of Community Based Art Education Prior t o this inquiry I had considered myself to be a community based art educator Through this research I have come to new understandings of this term In the past I viewed this label appropriate for my teaching practice due to the fact that I am teaching art in the community where I live and because I engage my students and myself in community service learning projects both locally and globally. I also have worked to get my students artwork exhibited locally within the city where we live. My first experience with a /r/tography has blazed a trail into my private world as an studio based artist by freeing critical inquiry into the portals (re) presented to the public world through the expansion of my definition of community based art educat ion to include a more focused pedagogy of critical engagement rooted in social justice issues that are relevant to student's concerns. deNobriga and Schwarzman (1999/2010) tell us: C ommunity based art is creative expression that emerges from communities of people working together to improve their individual and collective circumstances. Community based art involves a wide range of social contexts and definitions, and includes an under standing of "communities" that includes not only geographical places, but also groups of people identified with historical or ethnic traditions, or dedicated to a particular belief or spirit (para 9) In my desire to move my pedagogical concerns to a more c ommunity based art education al model a/r/tography has revealed the dualities surround ing the idea of knowing and qu estioning at the same time I n my studio/classroom community, my
68 students and I work together to create a safe environment to shed light on both our own individual experiences and our experiences as a gr oup through art making. As an artist/researcher/teacher grounded by an engaged pedagogy, I must become more concerned with the ways our art can function within a more public sphere while addressing the questions and concerns of my students as well as my own in my own artwork and through the curriculum I use in the studio/classroom If I want my studio/classroom to embody the spirit of a form of art education as the practice of freed om (hooks, 1994), then I must promote freedom of expression on all levels in thinking, making and doing If I want to feel safe and respected, I must promote these characteristics through my art and teaching. I must motivate my students to become prepared to facilitate and participate in social chan g e (deNobriga and Schwazman, 1999/2010). Being a reflective artist/educator for me has been an important aspect of my own development both personally and professionally teaching and as an artist. However, I feel that thinking and reflection are also integral to the act of learning. In my classroom, I aim to encourage more self and peer assessment in the form of sketchbook/journaling that allow s students to reflect and continuously assess their own experience s wit h self and others By prompting my students to think and reflect critically on matters of personal and global importance they have opportunities to develop those creative thinking skills deemed important by the 21rst century Concluding Thoughts Through this capstone project I have come to see the value in (re)thinking my philosophy of art and art education toward a more critical pedagogy. As a result of the new knowledge gained through this research project, I get a re do. As I work to bring the
69 private studio self into the public sphere of community consciousness, I aim to center the design of my curriculum on the everyday life and all of its messiness. In opposition to the binary positions that separate body, mind and spirit, as a female artist, researc her and educator, I want to have a hand (or two) in the (re)making of a safe studio/classroom space. A space, where students are free to reflect upon, come to new understandings of and create new meaning in their lives through acts of reflective art making In the sharing of my studio, my artwork and my life with my students I am "blurring the distinction between teacher and pupil in a continuum of learning" (Hall, 2010). I am opening to the possibilities for future research into the critical and caring context that engaged p edagogy inspires. By remaining connected the everyday realities of my daily studio experiences I can live my curriculum as an art educator. I believe in the power of connecting my tacit knowledge to my everyday experiences through conscious reflection. I feel, create and interpret from the lenses of my lived experiences and from the depths of my soul. This process is not about possessing knowledge but about being in relationship with others; to be open to the call to self actualization through teaching; to being inside the spaces that surround the complexities of my deeply human self. I heed the call to walk with my students and my viewers or art audiences, on the a/r/tographic trails into the cracks of my life. The A/r/tographic Trail Revisited I think of my first walking journey /research project on the A/r/tographic Trail as a form of wilderness similar in its perseverant nature to my experiences on the Appalachian Trail. When Thoreau (1863/2010) spoke of the wilderness, he referred to
70 the breaking of rule s, his "ostracized life in the midst of his peers" ( Rothenberg, n.d., para 1 ) Th is is the same wilderness that interests me in art, research and education. A/r/tography lures me into the deepest recesses of interior landscapes where the soulful experience s of my creativity live wild and free. As a result of this capstone project, m y awareness is heightened for the need to walk into self reflective spaces alone and to come out in community. As with all a/r/tography, this project is not meant to be a script of how to do a/r/tography. These are "incomplete gestures, thoughtfully compiled, that point to new possibilities, it is up to the readers and interpreters to add meaning of their own" (Sullivan, 20 10 p. 242) I will continue to reflect upon my making and teaching practice as one more unified whole grounded by the maint enance of a state of mind that gives to my students what I desire for myself, a senses of trust and freedom born in the caring community of a studio/classroom with a vision bound to a bel ief in creative expression as an effective means toward the establishment and maintenance of it health and well being. F rom the A/T, my worldview extends from the tops of mountains. From this path, I will continue to make and (un)make, to do and (un)do, a nd to know and (un)k now my role as an artist/researcher/teacher. The gaps have revealed the portals through which I will continue to seek the repetitions that lead to the flows encountered on the A/r/tographic Trail, a pedagogical footpath for those who se e fellowship with their artist/researcher/teacher selves (See Figure 23 )
71 Figure 2 3 The new A/T: The A/r/tographic Trail is open for walking new inquiries into the future of my evolution as a community based artist/ educator.
72 APPENDIX A THE RENDERING OF TRAIL GAPS 1981 The farther I get away, the closer I am. 1982 Heart away from nature becomes hard. 1993 You come to lead me down the winding gallery way to where runs the white river of my fear and knowing to have me drink of my own tears of remembering, to quench the longing in my own waters. 1994 The presence of your absence follows me. The silence o f your voice deafens me. 1996 Here begineth the story of the girl who was squelched for fear of the woman she would become. 1997 It is me the isolationist. It is me the separatist. It is me alone. Alone me. 2003 Just when we get there, there disappears. 2005 May it be possible that I do not need to leave where I am to be where I want to go? 2007 I know not where I end and the mountain begins. The trail became my guru passing on a form of grace as I walked from darkness into light, from spring into fall, from isolation into community, from separation into family. I found my god right where I left her in the woods of my childhood. My feet hurt, I'm hungry, I don't feel like hiking anymore. I' m hot, I'm tired, this is boring, everyone else hikes better, faster, longer than me. I hiked the trail as a way to flee as much as to seek. 2012 We need to focus on how to "use" the trail more wisely and respectful with the heart and mind of a conservationist as opposed to protecting it.
73 APPENDIX B THE RENDERING OF TRA IL PORTALS 1980 I climbed a mountain in the cold snowy January peace. A sort of pilgrimage to the spirit bringing me to my center of self. The climb up was surprisingly simple and I really felt that mountain. My yearning was so great that when I got to the peak I had to climb to the top of a large pine tree that began to sway in the breeze feeling safety in the wind I stared out into the pure Vermont landscape feeling very much a spectator blowing in the breeze and oddly enough somewhere above this topographical splendo r. 1982 Do whatever you do intensely. Equal interest and exclusion of everything else. Take in, experience, feel, meditate, empathize, become motivated (from within), be alert and active. 1984 As artist you enter intro your own world, but don' t get lost in it. 1990 The more you feel safe the more room there is for higher consciousness. 1991 The great secret of creativity is to balance a wild creative unfocused energy with a form that allows the energy to be. 1995 Sometimes I really want to keep on walking and not look back. 1996 Art encourages the ability to make sound judgments, appreciate beauty, in both nature and culture. It reminds us why we are here. 2004 Talent is often mistaken for passion, drive, devotion, or sacrifice. 2007 The canvas is my sacred space where my life can be laid bare and my spirit can be moved. The only thing better than the mountains I have climbed are the mountains I am going t o climb.
74 On a journey where every ounce counts. 2010 I now tell my students technical skills are freeing yet can also be a prison.
75 APPENDIX C THE RENDERING OF TRA IL REPETITIONS 1982 I am only able to forget external pressures when I am working. 1983 A lot of what appears to be a given we may find out is not nor ever has been. By questions we persist. An artist is one who can fail and fail and still go on. 1992 I need to ground myself constantly. Painting grounds me. It connects me to the great spirit, the divine. 1993 Repetition is sometimes a sad staccato. No running, no clinging, no writing, no painting. Having been there, having don that, having been th ere, and do it again. 1996 It is my job to help those who think they "can't" be more creative to remove the thought process that is responsible for this huge dilemma. 1998 Doing the two step and finally walking in unison with our family. 2001 You came out of a poem and into the silence. The point is what you do in the silence. 2003 Walk through the forest with focus avoid the sub plots. 2004 Art is prayer not the vulgarized notations handed down through scripture, but my own discoveries of my own presence in the world. 2007 This simple clear directive: walk on. Have you ever screamed your story so loud that no one could hear you? 2011 I stayed away from feminine imagery for almost 20 years for fear of not being
76 taken seriously. The work becomes my pedagogy. Art practice becomes educational; purposefully made so by the artist.
77 APPENDIX D THE RENDERING OF TRA IL FLOWS 1981 You may finish where you started, but you have had the experience. 1983 To work like nature rather than from her. Creation is my purpose, art is my means. If by my arrangement of color and form on the canvas I can cause someone to contemplate h is or her own experience on the planet then I will have developed my function for this life. 1989 To advance rapidly one must reserve energy. To work is to pray. Work = continuous consciousness of all ones acts. Continuous self inspection. 1993 I want to inspire young growing minds to draw from their creativity for balance and peace of mind. 1997 I don't want to make paintings about metaphor. Therefore I have to paint from my own experience. 2003 Service and travel both teach us about risk taking, problem solving, and adaptability. 2004 Wind blow through me. Cleanse me, thrill me, and wake me from this slumber. 2007 I was being lead, and not just by white blazes. Listen, walk, and wa it for the magic to happen. The work is not meant to usurp or replace experience. I know only that it is beautiful; not where this great beauty comes from nor why it is good or vital. 2008 Teach kids to walk away when provoked but to walk to safety. 2010 I want my students to grow up to blow me away.
78 2012 The Appalachian trail is new to me every time I pass a white blaze, no matter how many times I have been in that exact place before. The magic of the trail is that it doesn't want to be familiar it wants to astonish me, enrage me, to literally take my breath away.
79 APPENDIX E 14 RENDERINGS DATA ART : 1980 1984
80 APPENDIX F 14 RENDERINGS DATA ART: 1985 1990 0% 10% 20% 30% 40% 50% 60% 70% 80% 90% 100% 1988 1987 1986 1985 1989 1990 To a dv a n ce r a p i d ly one m u s t r e s e r v e e n e r gy To w ork i s t o pr a y W o r k = c on t i n u ou s c o n s c i ou s n e ss o f a ll on e s a ct s C on t i nu o u s s e l f i n s p ecti on. T h e m or e y o u f e el s a fe t h e m or e r o o m t h e r e is for h i g h e r c o n s c i ou s n e ss. R e n d e r i n g R a n g e 1985 1990 Y e ar P e r c e nt G a ps F l o ws R e p e t i t i ons P o r t a ls
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87 BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCH Juliet Araujo is a working artist/educator who makes art in and around her studio/classroom in Naples, Florida. For the past thirty two year s, much of her studio practice has been motivated by personal lived events. She stands in firm agreement with Carol Hanisch 24 (1969) who is credited with the statement "the personal is political." Coming to art education midcareer, many years after earning a BFA in painting from Pratt Institute in 1984, Juliet discovered her passion for teaching as a sales representative for an art supply vendor when she held in store art classes aimed at skill building and selling product in the early 1990s. Eventually seek ing an alternate route to k 12 art certification in 1996, Juliet taught in an inner city bi lingual public elementary school in Hartford, CT before moving to Florida in 2000. In her present location, she has established herself as a community based art edu cator and teaches small classes for children of all ages daily in her studio. In 2010, she began traveling to Haiti where she is a volunteer art teacher at New Life Home for Children in Port au Prince. She is a member of the National Art Educators Associat ion and International Society for Education through Art. Her current interests involves a/r/tography and art practice as research. 24 Carol Hanisch (2009) is the author of the groundbreaking paper, The Personal is Political written in 1969 It was originally published in Notes from the Second Year: Women's Liberation in 1970 Women of the world unite Carol Hanisch of the Women's Liberation Movement (para 1). Retrieved from http://carolhanisch.org/