"Keep your big bazoo shut!"
EVERYTHING FOR YOUR CAR AT
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Cme Se %4 Soon -
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THE JOHN MARSHALL BAR ASSOCIATION
Vice-President ....-... .. .-
.... Howard Pearl
............ Bob Parks
MEET T/", 5 cte frw 4 5sac"
4t Onu bplelte Food Bar
MCCOLLUM DRUG COMPANY
1124 W. University Phone FR 6-5356
"Slightest penetration? What's that?"
0 GRAYSON ON LAWMANSHIP 0
I have just concluded a comprehensive study of the legal profession and have
devised a simple formula for better lawmanship. The scope of my reference material
was indeed broad, including such scholarly treatises as The Care and Feeding of Infants,
Peyton Place, the latest issue of "Cabaret", topped off by one and a half Perry Mason
programs. The following is a four-point program that should lead to greater profici-
ency in the practice of law (and its closely related fields of perjury, larceny, and
1. A good lawyer should treat his clients with patience and understanding. Take,
for example, the supreme test of that great probate lawyer, Gulliver Travells. He
once had a client who changed his will 14 times in two years. Poor old G.T. couldn't
decide whether his client was crazy or just a fresh heir fiend.
2. A good lawyer should think quickly on his feet (and in most other positions
as well). An illustration is the story of that renowned criminal lawyer, Sigsby F. (For)
Sigsby. Once when pleading a case for an attractive transgressor, Sigsby,turned to the
jury, cocked a suggestive eyebrow and said, "Gentlemen of the jury, will you allow
this charming young lady to be cast into a deep, dark, lonely cell; or will she return
to her beautiful little apartment at 12 University Avenue, telephone FRanklin 2-0441 ?"
3. A good lawyer should be ethical. Now, before you cynics deride this tenet,
let me tell you the story of what occurred recently when the gate between heaven and
hell broke down. St. Peter appeared, surveyed the damage, then called down to the
devil, "Hey, Satan! It's your turn to fix the gate this time!"
"Sorry," came the scornful answer, "but my men are far too busy to fix a gate."
"Well, then," St. Peter replied, "I'll have to sue you for breaking our agreement."
"Oh, yeah," said the devil, "where are you going to get a lawyer?"
4. A good lawyer should avoid overwork. He should seek some diversions.
Like, for instance, golf. Which reminds me of a story about that pre-eminent tax
lawyer, Lex Legis.
One recent afternoon Lex was playing his usual 18 holes (of golf). His tee
shot on the 16th sliced into the rough near a highway. While lining up his second
shot, he noticed a long funeral procession. Reverently, he removed his cap and bowed
his head until the procession had passed.
Then he continued his game, finishing with a birdie on the eighteenth. Later,
at the clubhouse, a friend said, "That was a nice gesture you made today, Lex. I mean
I've always heard that a lawyer concentrated on only one thing at a time."
"What do you mean?" he answered.
"I was watching you on Number 16 and I thought it was nice of you to take off
your cap and stand respectfully when that funeral went by," replied his friend.
"Oh, yes," Lex replied. "We would have been married thirty-three years next
month." -Bill Grayson
Where friends a eet 7T Sat
Specials Every Weekday 310 N.W. 13th Street
"Are there any questions,
"Very well, then,
I'll ask a few."
A law student is one who enters his alma mater dressed in
green and emerges as a senior dressed in black. The intermediate
process of decay is known as a legal education.
Your UNIVERSITY CAMPUS SHOP
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"I Dean Fenn doesn't take back whot he said to me this morning,
I'm going to leave Law School."
"What did he say?"
"He said I'm expelled."
Judge: "You admit you drove over this man with a loaded truck.
Well, what do you have to say in your defense?"
Defendant: "I thought he was dead."
Little Miss Muffet decided to rough it
In a cabin quite dank and medieval.
A rounder espied her and plied her with cider
And now she's the forest's prime evil
Number Twelve, West University Avenue
law gentlemen assem-
ble for a beverage or
"You're some lawyer! You couldn't have got me off even if I'd been
NEIGHBORHOOD SERVICE STATION
GATOR RECAPPING COMPANY
( ) Tires, Batteries & Accessories
AAA Authorized Road Service
Complete Auto Service
637 N.W. 13th Street Phone FR 2-0455
"I once had ambition, perseverance and initia-
tive too, sir; but they were quickly killed by one
semester in Law School."
WE HAVE THE NEW
WITH DICTATING AND TRANSCRIBING KITS
See It Demonstrated At
BRAWL BOOKLET STAFF
Felix Gaillard, Ed.
Bill Gray, Bus. Mgr.
Good humor is about 10%o inspiration and 90% plagiarism.
SPRING BRAWL COMMITTEE
Tom Harris & Whitey Urquhart, Co-chairmen
Art Ginsberg, Asst. Chairman
John Lovering, Decorations
Leonard Fleet, Food
Bob Melton, Chairs & Tables
Tom Sale, Bar
John Teipel, Tickets
Walter D. Anderson
1r i U~.Lu
"The usual, P. K.?"
Phone FR 2-2523 Gainesville, Florida
FEATURING THE LAWYER'S NOOK
214 N.W. 13th Street
"All summer long rape, rape, rape!"
GEORGE FRANKLIN'S MENS WEAR
1123 West University Avenue
"I don't know, Marty, what do you wanna do tonight?"
WALTER WYNN'S AMOCO SERVICE
506 N.W. 13th Street
Phone FR 6-6939
"Evidence? Just look at those shifty eyes!"
H. A. FENN
live a little!"
J. W. DAY
Leader of the
"Down with the
W. D. MACDONALD
P.S. 74, Toronto, '07
and sagacity. "The
idle mind is the devil's
lobbyist who was opposing any large appropriation r the
University of Florida approached a legislator who boasted of his self-
"Do you realize," asked the portly lobbyist gravely, "that over
at the University of Florida men and women students have to use
the same curriculum?"
The legislator look startled.
"And that boys and girls often matriculate together?"
"No!," exclaimed the lawmaker.
The lobbyist came closer and whispered, "And a young lady
student can be forced at any time to show a male professor her
The legislator shrank back in horror.
"I won't vote 'em a damn cent!"
Danny C.: I think you'll have to admit that this is a very extensive
Student: Yeah, what you don't cover in class, you cover in your final.
If all the University of Florida coeds were laid end to end, I wouldn't
THE UNIVERSITY FOOD SERVICE DIVISION
Daily Cafeteria Service in Four Campus Locations:
MAIN CAFETERIA CAMPUS CLUB
HUB COED CLUB P. K. YONGE FLORIDA ROOM
Old Assistant Dean
New Assistant Dean
Enwall preparing another
thrilling torts lecture.
MEET YOU AT THE
FOR A COOL ONE !!
Northwest 13th Street
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226 N.W. University Ave.
Open 24 Hours A Day
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COME SEE US AT
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JMBA wishes to thank the following who very generously donat-
ed door prizes:
FURNITURE MANUFACTURER'S SAMPLE HOUSE
LOUIS' SEA FOOD & POULTRY
LAUNDER-IT AUTOMATIC LAUNDRY
PHI DELTA PHI
PHI ALPHA DELTA
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who made this pornographic pamphlet possible."