Barrister's Brawl program, Spring 1958, University of Florida John Marshall Bar Association

MISSING IMAGE

Material Information

Title:
Barrister's Brawl program, Spring 1958, University of Florida John Marshall Bar Association
Physical Description:
Unknown
Language:
English
Creator:
John Marshall Bar Association
Publication Date:
Physical Location:
Box: 1
Folder: University Archives Small Collections - John Marshall Bar Assocation - Skits and Programs

Subjects

Subjects / Keywords:
Law students -- Florida -- History
Spatial Coverage:
North America -- United States of America -- Florida -- Alachua -- Gainesville

Record Information

Source Institution:
University of Florida
Rights Management:
All applicable rights reserved by the source institution and holding location.
Resource Identifier:
sobekcm - AA00003161_00001
System ID:
AA00003161:00001

Full Text


k


I


E=


A


R/'


. .because


SPRING


1958


0


% IV





*


"Keep your big bazoo shut!"


p.


EVERYTHING FOR YOUR CAR AT


THE GAS WELL


Cme Se %4 Soon -


Located at 114 N.W. 13th Street


wtie 1ut!






BARRISTER'S BRAWL




SPRING, 1958



Sponsored by

THE JOHN MARSHALL BAR ASSOCIATION


President .......-..------..
Vice-President ....-... .. .-
Secretary-Treasurer .........--


John Crider
.... Howard Pearl
............ Bob Parks


MEET T/", 5 cte frw 4 5sac"
4t Onu bplelte Food Bar

MCCOLLUM DRUG COMPANY
Drugs Cosmetics
1124 W. University Phone FR 6-5356





0


"Slightest penetration? What's that?"






0 GRAYSON ON LAWMANSHIP 0
I have just concluded a comprehensive study of the legal profession and have
devised a simple formula for better lawmanship. The scope of my reference material
was indeed broad, including such scholarly treatises as The Care and Feeding of Infants,
Peyton Place, the latest issue of "Cabaret", topped off by one and a half Perry Mason
programs. The following is a four-point program that should lead to greater profici-
ency in the practice of law (and its closely related fields of perjury, larceny, and
bastardy).
1. A good lawyer should treat his clients with patience and understanding. Take,
for example, the supreme test of that great probate lawyer, Gulliver Travells. He
once had a client who changed his will 14 times in two years. Poor old G.T. couldn't
decide whether his client was crazy or just a fresh heir fiend.
2. A good lawyer should think quickly on his feet (and in most other positions
as well). An illustration is the story of that renowned criminal lawyer, Sigsby F. (For)
Sigsby. Once when pleading a case for an attractive transgressor, Sigsby,turned to the
jury, cocked a suggestive eyebrow and said, "Gentlemen of the jury, will you allow
this charming young lady to be cast into a deep, dark, lonely cell; or will she return
to her beautiful little apartment at 12 University Avenue, telephone FRanklin 2-0441 ?"
3. A good lawyer should be ethical. Now, before you cynics deride this tenet,
let me tell you the story of what occurred recently when the gate between heaven and
hell broke down. St. Peter appeared, surveyed the damage, then called down to the
devil, "Hey, Satan! It's your turn to fix the gate this time!"
"Sorry," came the scornful answer, "but my men are far too busy to fix a gate."
"Well, then," St. Peter replied, "I'll have to sue you for breaking our agreement."
"Oh, yeah," said the devil, "where are you going to get a lawyer?"
4. A good lawyer should avoid overwork. He should seek some diversions.
Like, for instance, golf. Which reminds me of a story about that pre-eminent tax
lawyer, Lex Legis.
One recent afternoon Lex was playing his usual 18 holes (of golf). His tee
shot on the 16th sliced into the rough near a highway. While lining up his second
shot, he noticed a long funeral procession. Reverently, he removed his cap and bowed
his head until the procession had passed.
Then he continued his game, finishing with a birdie on the eighteenth. Later,
at the clubhouse, a friend said, "That was a nice gesture you made today, Lex. I mean
I've always heard that a lawyer concentrated on only one thing at a time."
"What do you mean?" he answered.
"I was watching you on Number 16 and I thought it was nice of you to take off
your cap and stand respectfully when that funeral went by," replied his friend.
"Oh, yes," Lex replied. "We would have been married thirty-three years next
month." -Bill Grayson




Where friends a eet 7T Sat


HUMPTY DUMPTY
DRIVE-IN RESTAURANT

Specials Every Weekday 310 N.W. 13th Street






0









"Are there any questions,
gentlemen?"


0


Ls


"Very well, then,
I'll ask a few."


A law student is one who enters his alma mater dressed in
green and emerges as a senior dressed in black. The intermediate
process of decay is known as a legal education.


Your UNIVERSITY CAMPUS SHOP
and
BOOK STORE

in the Student Service Center

WELCOMES YOU
with
COURTEOUS AND EFFICIENT SERVICE


TEXT AND TRADE BOOKS


School Supplies
Social Stationery
Fountain Pens


College Jewelry
Accessories
Notions and Sundries


Owned and Operated for Your Convenience
by the University of Florida





0 *
"I Dean Fenn doesn't take back whot he said to me this morning,
I'm going to leave Law School."
"What did he say?"
"He said I'm expelled."


Judge: "You admit you drove over this man with a loaded truck.
Well, what do you have to say in your defense?"
Defendant: "I thought he was dead."


Little Miss Muffet decided to rough it
In a cabin quite dank and medieval.
A rounder espied her and plied her with cider
And now she's the forest's prime evil


Number Twelve, West University Avenue


Where discriminating
law gentlemen assem-
ble for a beverage or
two.







SAM'S LOUNGE


::=2=






























"You're some lawyer! You couldn't have got me off even if I'd been
innocent."


NEIGHBORHOOD SERVICE STATION
AND
GATOR RECAPPING COMPANY
( ) Tires, Batteries & Accessories
AAA Authorized Road Service
Complete Auto Service
637 N.W. 13th Street Phone FR 2-0455






































"I once had ambition, perseverance and initia-
tive too, sir; but they were quickly killed by one
semester in Law School."


WE HAVE THE NEW

STENORETTE
WITH DICTATING AND TRANSCRIBING KITS
See It Demonstrated At

PARKER'S









































BRAWL BOOKLET STAFF
Felix Gaillard, Ed.
Bill Gray, Bus. Mgr.
Mike Demartunni
Wilmer Titchell
Bill Gunn
Dick Harkin
Crosby Pew
Sid Beaver
Steve Kirk
Ken Haymens
John Cunningham

SKIT COMMITTEE
Art Ginsberg
Jim Glass
Dick Bennison
Good humor is about 10%o inspiration and 90% plagiarism.






SPRING BRAWL COMMITTEE
Tom Harris & Whitey Urquhart, Co-chairmen
Art Ginsberg, Asst. Chairman

SUB-COMMITTEES
John Lovering, Decorations
Tom Schwartz
Don Sepps
Mike Davis
John Hutchison
Bob Foley
Paul Fitzgerald
Bob Cummings
Leonard Fleet, Food
Vic Musleh
Bob Melton, Chairs & Tables
Tom Sale, Bar
John Teipel, Tickets
Eddie Heller
Ned Davis
Shep Lesser
Dean Loucks
Ed Austin
Tom O'Bannon
Walter D. Anderson
Jim Moore






















1r i U~.Lu


"The usual, P. K.?"


FLORIDA PHARMACY
Phone FR 2-2523 Gainesville, Florida


FEATURING THE LAWYER'S NOOK
RUFUS'

ELBOW ROOM
214 N.W. 13th Street






























"All summer long rape, rape, rape!"


F


Compliments of


GEORGE FRANKLIN'S MENS WEAR


1123 West University Avenue


.a
t_


I'
I :



I





&


-9 -I3
~ -cA1


"I don't know, Marty, what do you wanna do tonight?"


ft


Compliments of

WALTER WYNN'S AMOCO SERVICE
506 N.W. 13th Street
Phone FR 6-6939






























"Evidence? Just look at those shifty eyes!"







SCHOOLL


DAYS"


-pr.


H. A. FENN
"Crazy Hank"
Harvard '08
Carefree bon
vivant-a true
rogue. "Let's
live a little!"


J. W. DAY
"Lefty"
Hardknocks, '00
Leader of the
radicals and
revolutionaries.
"Down with the
capitalist war-
mongers.


W. D. MACDONALD
"Plato"
P.S. 74, Toronto, '07
Sobriety, sincerity,
and sagacity. "The
idle mind is the devil's
playground."


.






lobbyist who was opposing any large appropriation r the
University of Florida approached a legislator who boasted of his self-
education.
"Do you realize," asked the portly lobbyist gravely, "that over
at the University of Florida men and women students have to use
the same curriculum?"
The legislator look startled.
"And that boys and girls often matriculate together?"
"No!," exclaimed the lawmaker.
The lobbyist came closer and whispered, "And a young lady
student can be forced at any time to show a male professor her
thesis?"
The legislator shrank back in horror.
"I won't vote 'em a damn cent!"




Danny C.: I think you'll have to admit that this is a very extensive
course.
Student: Yeah, what you don't cover in class, you cover in your final.




If all the University of Florida coeds were laid end to end, I wouldn't
be surprised.


Compliments of
THE UNIVERSITY FOOD SERVICE DIVISION

Daily Cafeteria Service in Four Campus Locations:

MAIN CAFETERIA CAMPUS CLUB
HUB COED CLUB P. K. YONGE FLORIDA ROOM












Old Assistant Dean


New Assistant Dean


/ \


Enwall preparing another
thrilling torts lecture.


MEET YOU AT THE

THIRSTY GATOR
FOR A COOL ONE !!
Northwest 13th Street


W1







WE SPECIALIZE IN FRIED CHICKEN AND HUSH PUPPIES

Ruy4 es4tauraat ancd 'ar
15 MILES SOUTH OF GAINESVILLE, FLORIDA
HIWAY 441
TELEPHONE McINTOSH LY 1-2483




Compliments of:

PARK INN
209 N.W. 13th St.



WAFFLE SHOP
912 N.W. University Ave.
Open 24 Hours A Day


PARKETTE
226 N.W. University Ave.
Open 24 Hours A Day



teed f ai4cc ut f /
COME SEE US AT

LEE'S BARBER SHOP
14 N.W. 13th Street






DOOR PRIZES


JMBA wishes to thank the following who very generously donat-
ed door prizes:

LONG'S CAFETERIA
FLORIDA THEATRE
FURNITURE MANUFACTURER'S SAMPLE HOUSE
WHAT-A-BURGER
LOUIS' SEA FOOD & POULTRY
LAUNDER-IT AUTOMATIC LAUNDRY
PHI DELTA PHI
PHI ALPHA DELTA


"Won't you patronize our advertisers? After all, it was they
who made this pornographic pamphlet possible."