Mimosa pudica

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Material Information

Title:
Mimosa pudica
Physical Description:
Project in lieu of thesis
Creator:
Thakur, Garima ( Dissertant )
Slawson, Brian ( Thesis advisor )
Anantharam, Anita ( Reviewer )
Lake, Lauren Garber ( Reviewer )
Publisher:
College of Fine Arts, University of Florida
Place of Publication:
Gainesville, Fla.
Publication Date:

Notes

Abstract:
One hand looks like a swan and the other looks like a hammer. This phrase is a metaphor for the binary battle between traditions and identity. It also represents the individual struggle between pleasing others and ourselves. My thesis project explores the identity of an Indian woman through her memories and experiences within a particular space and culture. I use thirty eight drawings and two videos to analyze culture, relationships, and identity. Specifically, this project investigates the role that memories and thoughts play in my development into a woman. I believe our bodies become reservoirs of pain, thoughts, and experiences. In the following quote from Elaine Scarry’s book entitled Body in Pain she discusses the toll pain takes on the body. That the body in pain is the most absolute definer of reality. For the person in pain, there is no reality besides pain; if it hurts, it must be real. Pain begins by being “not oneself” and ends by eliminating all that is not itself.”1 – Elaine Scarry Thus, it is the body that goes through pain, be it mental or physical. Through mapping my body and experiences I create a visual narrative to express formation of an identity. This project maps the formation of an Indian woman’s experiences and journey. My objective is to create visible connections between culture, memory, relationships and places using a designer’s perspective. The visual narrative is formed by a collection of process work, research and mapping of body and memories. My thesis project is a self-portrait which becomes relational through its visual language. I juxtapose drawings, collages, and videos in a poetic way to reach the viewer. My intention is to introduce the viewer to Indian culture, gender relationships within the culture specifically in my experience. Ultimately the project maps the changing of a woman’s identity. 1. Scarry, Elaine. The Body in Pain: The Making and Unmaking of the World. New York: Oxford University Press, 1985. Print.
General Note:
Graphic Design terminal project

Record Information

Source Institution:
University of Florida Institutional Repository
Holding Location:
University of Florida
Rights Management:
All rights reserved by the source institution and holding location.
System ID:
AA00001647:00001

Full Text
MIMOSA PUDIGA
By Garima Thakur
SUPERVISORY COMMITTEE
Brian Slawson (Chair)
Dr. Anita Anantharam (Member)
Lauren Garber Lake (Member)
A Project in Lieu of Thesis Presented to the Graduate School of the University of Florida in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree of Master of Fine Arts University of Florida May 2011


Oil Garima Thakur


To my mother


TABLE OF CONTENTS
Acknowledgments 5
Abstract 6
Autoethnography 8
My Birthplace 10
I Should be a Girl II
Inside Outside 12
College 13
Shift of Space 14
Visualizing Memory 15
Designer as Author 17
Mimosa Pudica 19
Thirty Eight Frames 21
Drawing Set One (She followed me) 22
Drawing Set Two (He loves me, he loves me not) 23
Drawing Set Three (Yakshi in a Guccci) 24
Video one- lam born thrice 25
Video two- The red thread 26
Materials, Resources and Processes 27
The Color Red, The Red Thread 28
Further Directions 29
List of References 3
Biographical Sketch 31


ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
I thank my family and friends for their support, encouragement and faith in my ability to accomplish my goals as an artist, designer and instructor.
My parents, who always believed in me and gave me their unconditional love, support and patience. Without them I don't exist.
My partner, Debraj Guhabiswas for his patience and enduring my idiosyncrasies.
My friend, Kumud Ranjan Haider, who was with me at every step of this project and never gave up on me.
My colleagues, thanks for all your support and feedback. Special thanks to Cristina Molina, for her amazing technical support. Nancy Schreck, for her constant encouragement.
I would also like to thank my supervisory committee, Brian Slawson (chair), Lauren Garber Lake and Dr. Anita Anantharam, for their immense dedication and direction.


ABSTRACT
Abstract of Project in Lieu of Thesis Presented to the Graduate School of the University of Florida in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree of Master of Fine Arts Chair: Brian Slawson, Major: Art
One hand looks like a swan and the other looks like a hammer. This phrase is a metaphor for the binary battle between traditions and identity. It also represents the individual struggle between pleasing others and ourselves. My thesis project explores the identity of an Indian woman through her memories and experiences within a particular space and culture. I use thirty eight drawings and two videos to analyze culture, relationships, and identity. Specifically, this project investigates the role that memories and thoughts play in my development into a woman. I believe our bodies become reservoirs of pain, thoughts, and experiences. In the following quote from Elaine Scarry's book entitled Body in Pain she discusses the toll pain takes on the body.
That the body in pain is the most absolute definer of reality. For the person in pain, there is no reality besides pain; if it hurts, it must be real. Pain begins by being "not oneself" and ends by eliminating all that is not itself. 1 Elaine Scarry
I. Scarry, Elaine. The Body in Pain: The Making and Unmaking of the World. New York: Oxford University Press, 1985. Print.


Thus, it is the body that goes through pain, be it mental or physical. Through mapping my body and experiences I create a visual narrative to express formation of an identity.
This project maps the formation of an Indian woman's experiences and journey. My objective is to create visible connections between culture, memory, relationships and places using a designer's perspective. The visual narrative is formed by a collection of process work, research and mapping of body and memories. My thesis project is a self-portrait which becomes relational through its visual language. I juxtapose drawings, collages, and videos in a poetic way to reach the viewer.
My intention is to introduce the viewer to Indian culture, gender relationships within the culture specifically in my experience. Ultimately the project maps the changing of a woman's identity.


AUTOETHNO GRAPHY
"Autoethnography is a blurred genre ... a response to the call... ft is setting a scene, telling a story, weaving intricate connections between life and art. making a text present. refusing categorization believing that words matter and writing toward the moment when the point of creating autoethno-graphic texts is to change the world."2
Stacy Holman Jones
The term autoethnography was originally denned as "insider ethnography." 3 It is a form of qualitative research where the researcher explores his or her own experience as a focus of investigation. It acknowledges the power of the researcher to explore his or her own life more closely than others are able, and it connects the personal story to the participatory cultures while engaging the reader/viewer to share in the vibrancy of the experience.
Inspiration for my creative project came from personal memories. Thus, I used autoethnography as my research tool. This research tool helped me interpret my culture and surroundings through my observations and the findings that gave me a clearer understanding of my self as a woman.
2. Denzin, Norman K, and Yvonna S. Lincoln. The Sage Handbook of Qualitative Research. Thousand Oaks: Sage Publications, 200g. Print.
3. Hayano, M David. Auto-ethnography: Paradigms, Problems and Prospects. Human Organization. California State University, Northridge, 99-104. 1979


MIMOSA PUDICA 9
MY BIRTHPLACE
Figure 1: Myself and my sister, Age 6, Hari Nagar, New Delhi, India
I was born in India, New Delhi. Until the age of 14, I lived in a small colony in Delhi called Hari Nagar. I remember running around the match box like houses, with a small playing ground in the middle of the square colony (figure 1). The colony Hari Nagar consisted of very conservative and traditional middle to low income families. My family ideology was dissimilar to the people who lived in that area. There was always a duality of who I should be. At my home, the main focus was on academic education and intellectual growth; however, at the same time my mother struggled between being liberal and conservative. When I played with the kids around me, it was a completely different world. I would hear women in groups gossiping about their husbands and their lives. I always felt that I was different from everyone around me. It was a war of personal identities.
In those match boxes homes, there were no physical boundaries. I could hear my neighbors fighting from my house. I knew that they could hear me too. Roaming around with the children from the neighborhood during late afternoons, I was not yet aware of the distinct boundaries between gender roles.
I would play hide-and-seek with all the boys in the colony. My mother didn't mind me playing. When I turned twelve I began to feel her anxiety about me roaming around the colony like a boy. Often, I felt like a stranger because the boys I played with started forming their own groups


and I was suddenly "a girl" to them. I played with my girlfriends, but their main interest was to dress up and take walks in evening, where herds of boys were standing and passing judgments on these girls. After a while, I stopped spending time with the group of girls as well. My mother wanted me to grow into an elegant and a graceful lady. For my mother, I was a tomboy who had no sense of grace and who wanted to play hide- and-seek, jump rooftops and fly kites. I missed my male friends while at the same time I was glad I was not a part of their group. I could feel I was different for them, I was a girl. My body began to change. As they grew aware of their sexuality, I became an object of desire.


MIMOSA PUDICA 11
I SHOULD BE A GIRL
Figure 2: Myself, Age 5, New Delhi, India
While I was growing up, my mother used to sew. She would make me beautiful dresses of lace. Often she would need to sew me a new dress for every occasion as I ruined them away by playing in the mud with my friends and cousins.
I remember my mother running after me before every family gathering so that I wouldn't spoil my dress before the party started. I was the boy she never had. I had short hair (figure 2) and I walked like a boy. My mother would keep books on my head and make me practice how to walk gracefully. I would wonder, why she wanted me to be a girl who is delicate and graceful. When I look back, I realize I was trying to be the opposite of what my mother wanted me to be. But deep down I had a desire to be this pretty girl dressed elegantly. I grew within this dual identity and questioned who I should be (figure 3).
Figure 3: Myself, Age 7, New Delhi, India


INSIDE-OUTSIDE
I was growing up to be a completely different person inside. In my school, I always made friends with girls who were very unconventional. We would talk about boys, our sensuality, beauty, and our bodies. Most of my friends had boyfriends at that age of sixteen, but not me. On one hand, I wanted to be like a girl but on the other, I was a tomboy trying to prove a point. Often I would hide my phone calls from friends and never told her about my conversations. The battle of my identities always stood in my way of being myself. The battle me a rebellious and an unconventional girl, about whom my family always had to justify or apologize to relatives.


COLLEGE
I was seventeen years old and wanted to study art. This was another way to show my parents that I was different from them. My father wanted me to pursue a professional course of study, but I wanted to be a painter. So I chose the middle road and decided to be a graphic designer. It was my way of expressing myself and my desires, it made me feel complete.
While I became good at concealing my altered life from my mother, I could never obliterate her voice from my mind. She was present in my first kiss, my first lie, and everything I kept away from her.
After college, I began working at an advertising agency and it made me a rebel, due to the wild culture in advertising. I was torn between the family and the outside world; I was divided in my own duality.
This duality was present in my creative work, in my thinking, in my whole being. It was as if I was trapped in my own mind. My mother wanted me to leave the advertising industry as she thought it was not a reputable profession for women because the work hours were unconventional. I began to question, why different rules exist for men and women in my culture.


SHIFT OF SPACE
Despitejouth and happiness, something was dead, which I had to resurrect. And what I wanted to reresurrect was the right to be unhappy, the right to mourn France. It's not very complicated, but very intense. It's a phenomenally persistent but controlled chaos. Louise Bourgeois
I moved to United States four years ago, and I began my coursework at the University of Florida, in August 2008. I began to feel homesick. Without realizing it, I started recollecting all the images of myself in India. It was when I moved to United States that I realized how conventional I was in my thinking and how my mother was always a voice in everything I did. I began to understand that she only wanted the best for me.
Gender roles and distinction between men and women in India (or anywhere in the world), is something one cannot avoid. My mother followed all the rules of a society without questioning them, and wanted to protect me. I, on the other hand was curious about knowing what made these traditions and customs. Away from home, I looked at everything with an unbiased sensitivity. I began to could zoom out and look in.
4. Bernadac, Marie-Laure, and Louise Bourgeois. Louise Bourgeois. Paris: Flammarion, 1996. Print.


MIMOSA PUDICA 15
VISUALIZING MEMORY
I began to consider the issues that existed within the Indian society, how there were so many gender differences and seemingly blind following of customs without questioning. I began to develop projects which allowed me to explore these customs visually.
PROJECT LIST
Figure 4: Two spreads, Boundaries of the Self
Ghameli lam eaten up lam Water
Violence posters
Residuals
We Share the Same Bed
Wings of Desire
BOUNDARIES OF THE SELF
Within Indian culture, there are many self created boundaries. Boundaries between men and women, boundaries of respect and traditions within families, boundaries of clothing, boundaries of bodies. Growing up within my home, no boundaries existed. Rather I created metaphysical distinction between my home and the self in order to understand the concepts of identity.
During my first year at the University of Florida, I created a project (figure 4) on mind mapping, Boundaries of the Self For this project I looked into the barriers I had created in my mind as a teenager. At that time, I was a different person


MIMOSA PUDICA 16
Figure 6: My name is Garima Thakur
in every room of my home. I associated the drawing room as a place where I had to be behave well, as it was a room for the guests. This project gave me a clearer understanding of how to transform my memories into a visual language and to create self-authored projects.
MY NAME IS GARIMA THAKUR
Figure 7: Front and back spread, Chest
I created a video, My name is Garima Thakur, (figure 6) based on the act of changing names after marriage.
Making this video helped me think about my ideas in a more relational way and helped me develop a visual language which became more universal in its communication. I used my personal observations and interviews to reach to a larger audience and I realized in many ways they feel the same as me, or they have the similar questions as mine.
CHEST
Chest (figure 7) was a project in which I created a catalog of memories. The catalog became the basic framework which I expanded into thirty three drawings for my thesis project.


DESIGNER AS AUTHOR
Self-authored graphic design is a dance between two central partners with varying degrees of differentiation: the designer as self and the content. The designer as self is recognition of the central presence of the designer as a voice and a vision in the process of form-creation and message-formulation. As an individual who balances emotional and expressive qualities with cognitive concerns, the designer's personal views and convictions are integral ingredients to the definition of self-authored graphic design. Having a point of view from the vantage point of self is crucial. ..The content, the subject, the message with which the designer must have a strong engagement is the other central partner in this relationship. The designer's involvement with the content might come from personal experience, observation, research, collaboration, or an entrepreneurial venture... Cultural and social reasons also exist for redefining designers' roles. The realization that audiences and markets are not a unified mass, but made up of people with divergent interests and experiences helps account for the shift in approach to visual communications. Experiments involving deconstruction of the text, and investigations of linguistic theory have provided designers with a bridge to a broader language. Influences from related fields have been many: conceptual and word art, book art, social activism, poetry and literature seem especially poignant to the designer as an author. The desire to communicate with society (socialize with a community) seems to be at the center of the designer as an author's rationale, especially in light of shifting personal/social space and communications patterns. 5 Steven McCarthy
5. McCarthy, Steven. Designer as Author: voices and visions. Steven McCarthy, (lo,o,6).Web. 24- Oct. 2010.


I utilize my personal experiences for my design. I believe I reach a wider audience by creating symbols, motifs, metaphors that can be understood by viewers. I am the central point (subject) of this project, but I stretched my ideas through pushing my visual language, thus was able to reach a larger audience. In the research and making of my project, I was able to understand of my culture, history, my mother, my family and myself. The intention of this project is to bring awareness to the customs we follow, to the sensitive mother-daughter relationship and how an individual is formed unconsciously through all these aspects. I am responsible for the content as well as the form for this creative project. I am the author and the designer.


MIMOSA PUDICA 19
MIMOSA PUDICA
Figure 8: Mimosa Pudica
Mimosa Pudica(figure 8), a plant commonly known as 'touch-me-not' curls up into its own little soft leaves when touched. Little does it know that people are still hovering around it, waiting for it to open itself up again. As a little girl, I played with this plant in my grandmother's house. I would wait for all the stems with folded leaves to open themselves to me over and over. I too would close myself to the world and open again. Thus this act became a metaphor for my work.
The project installation (figure 9), entitled Mimosa Pudica consisted of thirty eight white frames that are hung together in eleven columns, all connected with the red thread, moli (a red color religious thread used in India during auspicious events to tie on the wrist) that was used to unify the frames. Two looped videos (7am Born Thrice & The Red Thread) were exhibited on the south wall.
The drawings sets Yakshi in a Gucci, He Loves Me He Loves Me Not and She Followed Me are placed in painted white frames reminiscent of family portrait wall found in a home. By installing the drawings in this manner, bound by the moli I attempted to suggest fragmented memories. The moli wrapped frames attempted to adjust this narrative by suggesting a healing and a desire to gather these memories in order to reflect and make sense of them.


MIMOSA PUDICA 20
Similar to the forward and back pacing in the video I am Born Thrice, I hope the viewer would move in and out of the frames of the wall of the drawings. Seeing the work as a whole, but also fragments meant to call for closer inspection. It was a metaphor of how I zoomed in and zoomed out of my self and my culture.
Figure 9: Mimosa Pudica Installation


THIRTY EIGHT FRAMES
There were thirty three drawings coupled with collages and five frames were wrapped with the moli. The drawings (figure 10) body maps and mind maps the memories or recollections of past present and also the fears of future.
The installation is made of three sets of drawings
Figure 10: Mimosa Pudica Installation detail


MIMOSA PUDICA 22
DRAWING SET ONE: She Followed Me
Figure 11: Dr
t
i .
I
Figure 12: Dr
These four drawings are based on the interactions, memories and my relationship with my mother. Figure 11. represents how I felt the presence of my mother. Her voice was always in my mind, even though she was physically not present with me. Her voice was a metaphor of traditions, the distinction between right and wrong, my duality. For many women at some point of life the voice of their mother becomes a part of their sub conscious without even realizing it. In many ways I wanted to be like my mother, but at the same time I wanted to myself.
Figure 13. is a collage of my childhood images, and how I would put bindi (bindi is a traditional red circular mark or dot worn by the Indian women on their forehead. The term 'bindi' is derived from the Sanskrit word 'bindu' meaning a drop or a small dot or particle) on my forehead in order to look like my mother. In this drawing bindi becomes a metaphor of marriage, it becomes a metaphor of desire, how every girl wants to be married, but at the same time she wants to keep a part of herself. I was dressed in pants and a jacket with short hair, at the same time I was applying a bindi on my forehead, in order to find ways to blend in my surroundings.
Figure 13: Drawing


MIMOSA PUDICA 23
Figure 14: Dr
DRAWING SET TWO:
He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not
These clusters of drawings (figure 14, I5> 16, 17, 18 ) were based on the idea of romanticized nature of marriage. When looked from a distance these images appear to be very sensuous and inviting, but when looked closer, they depict disturbing and painful details. In India most of the marriages are arranged, thus there is a lot of danger, fear and uncertainty involved. There are many adjustments, sometimes violence and pain in those marriages as there is uncertainty about the background of the partner. These images represent the pain of romance, love and dreams.
Figure 15: Drawing
Figure 17: Drawing


DRAWING SET THREE:
Yakshi in a Gucci
Figure 19: Drawing
Figure 20 : Drawing
Figure 21: Drawing
Ayakshi is a female earth spirit, accepted as a symbol of fertility by the Hindu, Buddhist, and
Jain faiths. She is usually portrayed as a wide-hipped, voluptuous woman.
The process that I followed for making these drawings coupled with collages was that I would create large scale drawings (figure 19) which later I would digitize and crop them into small drawings or combine two different drawings (figure 20,2l).
In these drawings with collages, I compared the images of idealized women in 3rd century to that of today found in fashion magazines. By comparing the two I was stating the similarities between them. The images show how our thinking is still the same. Earlier we wanted voluptuous bodies and today we want skinny bodies, but both are idealized woman forms. These images shows the pain woman go through in order to look perfect, and also these images touches on the idea of male gaze. The phrase "male gaze" refers to the frequent framing of objects of visual art so that the viewer is situated in a "masculine" position of appreciation.
"...women are assigned the passive status of being looked-at, whereas men are the active subjects who look. Art works themselves prescribe ideal viewing positions. While many women obviously also appreciate art, the stance they assume in order to appreciate works in the ways disposed by tradition requires the donning of a masculine perceptual attitude." Laura Mulvey
6. Mulvey, Laura. (1996). Fetishism and Curiosity Bloomington: Indiana University Press, 199^-


MIMOSA PUDICA 25
VIDEO ONE I AM BORN THRICE
Figure 22: Still from I am Born Thrice
Figure 23: Still from I am Born Thrice
The split screen video I am Born Thrice (figure 22,23) starts with the act of immersing the feet in a bowl water, dyed with alta (a red color dye used by Indian women for decorating their feet specially during marriage ). After the immersing shot, the video splits in two screens and shows the ritual of walking out of the pool of red water, symbolizing Indian culture as a act of walking into a new life when a women is married. This act is performed when for the first time the women enters the house of the man after marriage. This video was inspired by a conversation that I had with my partners mother, in which she describes how a woman is born thrice, once when she is born as a daughter to her parents, second when she gets married and third when she gives birth.
The video challenges the stories we live by as a woman and the rules and conventions we impose on ourselves.


MIMOSA PUDICA 26
VIDEO TWO THE RED THREAD
Figure 24: Still from The red Thread
The split screen video TheRed Thread (figure 24,25) illustrates the close-up of my wrists raveling and unraveling the moli (a red color religious thread used in India during auspicious events to tie on the wrist). On the left side of the screen I am wrapping my wrist with the thread in a slow motion and on the right side of the screen I am tearing the thread in a vigorous way. The video suggests the countless acts of attempts to break free from our conditioning.
Figure 25: Still from The red Thread


MATERIALS, RESOURCES & PROCESS
The origin of memories is in the past, but they appear in to the present, or further into the future; they come to you in fleeting moments. They are the images that keep dissolving and affects our present. They challenge your thinking, your upbringing and get imbibed in your very nature. The flashes of these reminiscences keep appearing and through them I become aware of my character and myself. It's only through these recollections that I relive my past and can trace my interactions with my mother, with my relationships, with my environment and myself that helped me forming my selfhood. In my drawings I confront these recollections and interrogate my culture, my education, my upbringing and my sexuality as a woman. I transform my experiences into images, which challenge all of the above issues.
To create a consistent visual language I used flower motifs, creatings a metaphor for women, especially lotus which is a symbol of purity in Indian culture. I also used symbols and patterns from from mehendi (figure 26) (Mehndi, is the application of henna plan dye as a temporary form of skin decoration in India), marriage customs, traditional Indian clothing, temple imagery, Yakshi sculptures (figure 27), fashion magazines and bridal books.
My drawings and collages are rooted in the history of Indian traditions. Subtly and painfully twisted images shows traditionally-clad Indian women, thus the images prove hard to stomach as they are very disturbing.


THE COLOR RED, THE RED THREAD
The color red is very dominant in Indian culture, it is the color of marriage, sensuality and love. In India, the color of the bridal wear is maroon or red and woman also decorate their feet with alta (figure 2,8) which is a red color dye used by women for decorating their feet specially during marriage.
Moli is a red thread which is used in many Indian festivals as a thread of protection. It is used in various occasions like marriage, and during a nine day fast festival and diwali (a festival of lights celebrated all over India during winter). In my work, the red thread became a metaphor of these rituals that I ravel and unravel in my mind and on my body.


FURTHER DIRECTIONS
'Working in cross medias has given designers more occasion to blur the distinctions between written word and designed world. The realization that audiences and markets are not unified mass but made up of people with divergent interests and helps account for the shifl in approach to visual communication. The desire to communicate with society (socialize with a community) seems to be at the center of the designer as an author's rationale, especially in light of shiflingpersonal/social space and communications patterns."7 Steven McCarthy
Through the research for Mimosa Pudica, I was able to develop a better understanding of my culture, the complexities and the physical area I lived in and their role in my identity development. It made me realize the vitality of understanding traditions, asking questions and made me more connected to myself and my country.
In future project, I will use this project as a personal case study and make people aware of stories of other woman, and collaborate with non-government organizations so that I can contribute in lives of other women. I would want to exhibit this in India specifically Delhi. And I would use similar process to create more personal narratives of my experiences.
7. McCarthy, Steven. Designer as Author: voices and visions. Steven McCarthy, (1996). Web. 24- Oct. 2010.


LIST OF REFERENCES
Barthes, Roland. Mythologies. Trans. Lavers, Annette. Hill &Wang. New York, N.Y. 1997. Print.
Barthes, Roland. Image, Music, Text. Trans. Lavers, Annette., and Smith, Colin. Hill & Wang. New York, N.Y. 1977. Print.
Bernadac, Marie-Laure, and Louise Bourgeois. Louise Bourgeois. Paris: Flammarion, 1996. Print.
Denzin, Norman K, and Yvonna S. Lincoln. The Sage Handbook of Qualitative Research. Thousand Oaks: Sage Publications, 2005. Print.
Hayano, M David. Auto-ethnography: Paradigms, Problems and Prospects. Human Organization. California State University, Northridge, 99-104. 1979
McCarthy, Steven. Designer as Author: voices and visions. Steven McCarthy, (1996). "Web. 24- Oct. 2010.
Morris, Desmond. The Naked Woman: A Study of the Female Body. New York: Thomas Dunne Books, 2005-Print.
Mulvey, Laura. (1996). Fetishism and Curiosity. Bloomington: Indiana University Press, 1996-
Scarry, Elaine. The Body in Pain: The Making and Unmaking of the World. New York: Oxford University Press, 1985. Print.


BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCH
Garima Thakur was born in New Delhi, India where she completed her undergraduate studies. She received her Bachelors in Applied Arts at Apeejay Institute of Design. After she finished her undergraduate study, she joined a French-based advertising agency, Publicis. After working professionally for three years, she began graduate studies at Rochester Institute of Technology for eight months, before she transferred to the University of Florida, School of Art and Art History to merge design with studies in art, research and technology.
Her creative and research considers the role of identity and its interaction with culture, place, media and globalization.


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PAGE 1

A Project in Lieu of Thesis Presented to the Graduate School of the University of Florida in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree of Master of Fine Arts University of Florida May 2011 SUPERVISORY COMMITTEE Brian Slawson (Chair) Dr. Anita Anantharam (Member) Lauren Garber Lake (Member) MIMOSA PUDICA By Garima Thakur

PAGE 2

2011 Garima Thakur

PAGE 3

To my mother

PAGE 4

Acknowledgments 5 Abstract 6 Autoethnography 8 My Birthplace 10 I Should be a Girl 11 Inside Outside 12 College 13 Shift of Space 14 Visualizing Memory 15 Designer as Author 17 Mimosa Pudica 19 Thirty Eight Frames 21 Drawing Set One (She followed me) 22 Drawing Set Two (He loves me, he loves me not) 23 Drawing Set Three (Yakshi in a Guccci) 24 Video oneI am born thrice 25 Video twoThe red thread 26 Materials, Resources and Processes 27 The Color Red, The Red Thread 28 Further Directions 29 List of References 30 Biographical Sketch 31 TABLE OF CONTENTS

PAGE 5

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS I thank my family and friends for their support, encouragement and faith in my ability to accomplish my goals as an artist, designer and instructor. My parents, who always believed in me and gave me their unconditional love, support and patience. Without them I dont exist. My partner, Debraj Guhabiswas for his patience and enduring my idiosyncrasies. My friend, Kumud Ranjan Halder, who was with me at every step of this project and never gave up on me. My colleagues, thanks for all your support and feedback. Special thanks to Cristina Molina, for her amazing technical support. Nancy Schreck, for her constant encouragement. I would also like to thank my supervisory committee, Brian Slawson (chair), Lauren Garber Lake and Dr. Anita Anantharam, for their immense dedication and direction. MIMOSA PUDICA 5

PAGE 6

ABSTRACT Abstract of Project in Lieu of Thesis Presented to the Graduate School of the University of Florida the Degree of Master of Fine Arts Chair: Brian Slawson, Major: Art One hand looks like a swan and the other looks like a hammer. This phrase is a metaphor for the binary battle between traditions and identity. It also represents the individual struggle between pleasing others and ourselves. My thesis project explores the identity of an Indian woman through her memories and experiences within a particular space and culture. I use thirty eight drawings and two videos to analyze culture, relationships, and the role that memories and thoughts play in my development into a woman. I believe our bodies become reservoirs of pain, thoughts, and experiences. In the following quote from Elaine Scarrys book entitled Body in Pain she discusses the toll pain takes on the body. For the person in pain, there is no reality besides pain; if it hurts, it must be real. Pain begins by being not oneself and ends by eliminating all that is not itself. 1 Elaine Scarry 1. Scarry, Elaine. The Body in Pain: The Making and Unmaking of the World. New York: Oxford University Press, 1985. Print. MIMOSA PUDICA 6

PAGE 7

Thus, it is the body that goes through pain, be it mental or physical. Through mapping my body and experiences I create a visual narrative to express formation of an identity. This project maps the formation of an Indian womans experiences and journey. My objective is to create visible connections between culture, memory, relationships and places using a designers perspective. The visual narrative is formed by a collection of process work, research and mapping of body and memories. My thesis project is a self-portrait which becomes relational through its visual language. I juxtapose drawings, collages, and videos in a poetic way to reach the viewer. My intention is to introduce the viewer to Indian culture, gender relationships within the culture project maps the changing of a womans identity. MIMOSA PUDICA 7

PAGE 8

AUTOETHNOGRAPHY Autoethnography is a blurred genre a response to the call it is setting a scene, telling a story, weaving intricate connections between life and art making a text present refusing categorization believing that words matter and writing toward the moment when the point of creating autoethnographic texts is to change the world. 2 Stacy Holman Jones The term autoethnography was originally 3 It is a form of qualitative research where the researcher explores his or her own experience as a focus of researcher to explore his or her own life more closely than others are able, and it connects the personal story to the participatory cultures while engaging the reader/viewer to share in the Inspiration for my creative project came from me interpret my culture and surroundings gave me a clearer understanding of my self as 2. Denzin, Norman K, and Yvonna S. Lincoln. The Sage Handbook of Qualitative Research. Thousand Oaks: Sage Publications, 2005. Print. 3. Hayano, M David. Auto-ethnography: Paradigms, Problems and Prospects. Human Organization. California State University, Northridge, 99-104. 1979 MIMOSA PUDICA 8

PAGE 9

MY BIRTHPLACE of 14, I lived in a small colony in Delhi called ground in the middle of the square colony very conservative and traditional middle to At my home, the main focus was on academic education and intellectual growth; however, at the same time my mother struggled between In those match boxes homes, there were no from the neighborhood during late afternoons, I was not yet aware of the distinct boundaries I played with started forming their own groups MIMOSA PUDICA 9 Hari Nagar, New Delhi, India

PAGE 10

my girlfriends, but their main interest was to of boys were standing and passing judgments on wanted me to grow into an elegant and a graceful no sense of grace and who wanted to play I missed my male friends while at the same time MIMOSA PUDICA 10

PAGE 11

I SHOULD BE A GIRL Often she would need to sew me a new dress for every occasion as I ruined them away by playing I remember my mother running after me before But deep down I had a desire to be this pretty girl MIMOSA PUDICA 11 New Delhi, India New Delhi, India

PAGE 12

INSIDE-OUTSIDE Often I would hide my phone calls from friends The battle of my identities always stood in my way unconventional girl, about whom my family always MIMOSA PUDICA 12

PAGE 13

COLLEGE This was another way to show my parents that me to pursue a professional course of study, but was my way of expressing myself and my desires, life from my mother, I could never obliterate her agency and it made me a rebel, due to the wild family and the outside world; I was divided in my to leave the advertising industry as she thought it was not a reputable profession for women MIMOSA PUDICA 13

PAGE 14

SHIFT OF SPACE Despite youth and happiness, something was dead, which I had to resurrect. And what I wanted to reresurrect was the right to be unhappy, the right to mourn France. Its not very complicated, but very intense. Its a phenomenally persistent but controlled chaos. 4 Louise Bourgeois and how my mother was always a voice in Gender roles and distinction between men followed all the rules of a society without 4. Bernadac, Marie-Laure, and Louise Bourgeois. Louise Bourgeois. Paris: Flammarion, 1996. Print. MIMOSA PUDICA 14

PAGE 15

VISUALIZING MEMORY I began to consider the issues that existed within the Indian society, how there were so I began to develop projects which allowed me PROJECT LIST BOUNDARIES OF THE SELF men and women, boundaries of respect and traditions within families, boundaries of clothing, metaphysical distinction between my home and the self in order to understand the concepts of into the barriers I had created in my mind as a MIMOSA PUDICA 15 Figure 4: Two spreads, Boundaries of the Self

PAGE 16

drawing room as a place where I had to be behave gave me a clearer understanding of how to transform my memories into a visual language MY NAME IS GARIMA THAKUR I created a video, My name is Garima Thakur ideas in a more relational way and helped me develop a visual language which became more personal observations and interviews to reach they feel the same as me, or they have the similar CHEST MIMOSA PUDICA 16

PAGE 17

DESIGNER AS AUTHOR Self-authored graphic design is a dance between two central as self and the content. The designer as self is recognition of the central presence of the designer as a voice and a vision in the process of form-creation and message-formulation. As an individual who balances emotional and expressive qualities with cognitive concerns, the designers personal views self-authored graphic design. Having a point of view from the vantage point of self is crucial...The content, the subject, the message with which the designer must have a strong engagement is the other central partner in this relationship. The designers involvement with the content might come from personal experience, observation, research, collaboration, or an divergent interests and experiences helps account for the shift in approach to visual communications. Experiments involving deconstruction of the text, and investigations of linguistic theory have provided designers with a bridge to a broader language. word art, book art, social activism, poetry and literature seem especially poignant to the designer as an author. The desire to communicate with society (socialize with a community) seems to be at the center of the designer as an authors rationale, especially in light of shifting personal/social space and communications patterns. 5 Steven Mccarthy 5. McCarthy, Steven. Designer as Author: voices and visions. Steven McCarthy, (1996).Web. 24. Oct. 2010. MIMOSA PUDICA 17

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creating symbols, motifs, metaphors that can through pushing my visual language, thus was able of my culture, history, my mother, my family bring awareness to the customs we follow, to the sensitive mother-daughter relationship and how an individual is formed unconsciously through I am the author and the designer. MIMOSA PUDICA 18

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MIMOSA PUDICA that people are still hovering around it, waiting I would wait for all the stems with folded leaves to Mimosa Pudica consisted of thirty eight white frames that are hung together in eleven columns, all connected with the red thread, moli (a red color religious thread used in India during auspicious events to tie on the wrist) that was used to unify The drawings sets Yakshi in a Gucci, He Loves Me He Loves Me Not and She Followed Me are placed in painted white frames reminiscent of family portrait wall this manner, bound by the moli I attempted to suggest fragmented memories. The moli wrapped frames attempted to adjust this narrative by suggesting a healing and a desire to gather these memories in order to reflect and make sense of them. MIMOSA PUDICA 19

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video I hope the viewer would move in and out of the frames of the wall of the MIMOSA PUDICA 20

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THIRTY EIGHT FRAMES There were thirty three drawings coupled with moli mind maps the memories or recollections of past, MIMOSA PUDICA 21

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DRAWING SET ONE: She Followed Me These four drawings are based on the interactions, memories and my relationship with in my mind, even though she was physically not traditions, the distinction between right and point of life the voice of their mother becomes a and how I would put bindi (bindi is a traditional bindi becomes a metaphor of marriage, it becomes a metaphor of desire, how every girl wants to be with short hair, at the same time I was applying a bindi MIMOSA PUDICA 22 Figure 11: Drawing Figure 13: Drawing

PAGE 23

DRAWING SET TWO: He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not 17, 18 ) were based on the idea of romanticized nature of marriage. When looked from a distance these images appear to be very sensuous and inviting, but when looked closer, they depict disturbing and painful details. In India most of the marriages are arranged, thus there is a lot of danger, fear and uncertainty involved. There are many adjustments, sometimes violence and pain in those marriages as there is uncertainty about the background of the partner. These images represent the pain of romance, love and dreams. MIMOSA PUDICA 23 Figure 14: Drawing

PAGE 24

DRAWING SET THREE: Yakshi in a Gucci A yakshi is a female earth spirit, accepted as a symbol of fertility by the Hindu, Buddhist, and Jain faiths. She is usually portrayed as a widehipped, voluptuous woman. The process that I followed for making these drawings coupled with collages was that I would later I would digitize and crop them into small In these drawings with collages, I compared the images of idealized women in 3rd century to that of today found in fashion magazines. By comparing the two I was stating the similarities between them. The images show how our thinking is still the same. Earlier we wanted voluptuous bodies and today we want skinny bodies, but both are idealized woman forms. These images shows the pain woman go through in order to look perfect, and also these images touches on the idea of male gaze. The phrase male gaze refers to the frequent framing of objects of visual art so that the viewer is situated in a masculine position of appreciation. ...women are assigned the passive status of being lookedat, whereas men are the active subjects who look. Art works obviously also appreciate art, the stance they assume in order to appreciate works in the ways disposed by tradition requires the donning of a masculine perceptual attitude. 6 1 Laura Mulvey 6. Mulvey, Laura. (1996). Fetishism and Curiosity. Bloomington: Indiana University Press, 1996. MIMOSA PUDICA 24

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VIDEO ONE I AM BORN THRICE The split screen video in a bowl water, dyed with alta (a red color dye used by Indian women for decorating their feet shot, the video splits in two screens and shows This video was inspired by a conversation that I had with my partners mother, in which she describes how a woman is born thrice, once when she is born as a daughter to her parents, second when she gets married and third when The video challenges the stories we live by as a woman and the rules and conventions we impose MIMOSA PUDICA 25

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VIDEO TWO THE RED THREAD The split screen video illustrates the close-up of my wrists raveling and unraveling the moli ( a red color religious thread used in India during auspicious events to tie on the wrist) am wrapping my wrist with the thread in a slow motion and on the right side of the screen I am MIMOSA PUDICA 26

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MATERIALS, RESOURCES & PROCESS The origin of memories is in the past, but they appear in to the present, or further into the your upbringing and get imbibed in your very appearing and through them I become aware these recollections that I relive my past and can trace my interactions with my mother, with my relationships, with my environment and myself drawings I confront these recollections and interrogate my culture, my education, my I transform my experiences into images, which motifs, creatings a metaphor for women, especially also used symbols and patterns from from mehendi clothing, temple imagery, Yakshi twisted images shows traditionally-clad Indian women, thus the images prove hard to stomach as MIMOSA PUDICA 27

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THE COLOR RED, THE RED THREAD The color red is very dominant in Indian culture, In India, the color of the bridal wear is maroon or red and woman also decorate their feet with alta which is a red color dye used by women for decorating their feet specially during Moli is a red thread which is used in many Indian nine day fast festival and diwali (a festival of lights celebrated all over India during winter). In my rituals that I ravel and unravel in my mind and MIMOSA PUDICA 28

PAGE 29

FURTHER DIRECTIONS blur the distinctions between written word and designed world. mass but made up of people with divergent interests and helps account for the shift in approach to visual communication. The desire to communicate with society (socialize with a community) seems to be at the center of the designer as an authors rationale, especially in light of shifting personal/social space and communications patterns. 7 2 Steven McCarthy Through the research for Mimosa Pudica I was able to develop a better understanding of my culture, the complexities and the physical area I lived in and their role in my identity development. It made me realize the vitality of understanding traditions, asking questions and made me more connected to myself and my country. In future project, I will use this project as a personal case study and make people aware of stories of other woman, and collaborate with non-government organizations so that I can contribute in lives of other women. I would want would use similar process to create more personal narratives of my experiences. 7. McCarthy, Steven. Designer as Author: voices and visions. Steven McCarthy, (1996). Web. 24. Oct. 2010. MIMOSA PUDICA 29

PAGE 30

LIST OF REFERENCES Barthes, Roland. Mythologies. Trans. Lavers, Annette. Hill & Wang. New York, N.Y. 1997. Print. Barthes, Roland. Image, Music, Text. Trans. Lavers, Annette., and Smith, Colin. Hill & Wang. New York, N.Y. 1977. Print. Bernadac, Marie-Laure, and Louise Bourgeois. Louise Bourgeois. Paris: Flammarion, 1996. Print. Denzin, Norman K, and Yvonna S. Lincoln. The Sage Handbook of Qualitative Research. Thousand Oaks: Sage Publications, 2005. Print. Hayano, M David. Auto-ethnography: Paradigms, Problems and Prospects. Human Organization. California State University, Northridge, 99-104. 1979 McCarthy, Steven. Designer as Author: voices and visions. Steven McCarthy, (1996). Web. 24. Oct. 2010. Morris, Desmond. The Naked Woman: A Study of the Female Body. New York: Thomas Dunne Books, 2005. Print. Mulvey, Laura. (1996). Fetishism and Curiosity. Bloomington: Indiana University Press, 1996. Scarry, Elaine. The Body in Pain: The Making and Unmaking of the World. New York: Oxford University Press, 1985. Print. MIMOSA PUDICA 30

PAGE 31

BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCH Garima Thakur was born in New Delhi, India where she completed her undergraduate studies. She received her Bachelors in Applied Arts at Apeejay Institute of Design. French-based advertising agency, Publicis After working professionally for three years, she began graduate studies at Rochester Institute of Technology for eight months, before she transferred to the University of Florida, School of Art and Art History to merge design with studies in art, research and technology. Her creative and research considers the role of identity and its interaction with culture, place, media and globalization. MIMOSA PUDICA 31


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