GFM Archive : Booklet : About Our Children


Material Information

GFM Archive : Booklet : About Our Children
Physical Description:
14p; booklet, scanned
English, French, Spanish, Chinese, Japanese
Federation of Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays Inc
Federation of Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays Inc
Place of Publication:
California, USA
Publication Date:


Subjects / Keywords:
Caribbean Area   ( lcsh )
Brochure - Other Agencies


The GFM archive includes this booklet which was distributed by Federation of Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays Inc (PFLAG). The booklet was first published in 1978 in English, French, Spanish, Chinese and Japanese and includes information about homosexuality and the activities of PFLAG.
Support for the development of the technical infrastructure and partner training provided by the United States Department of Education TICFIA program.

Record Information

Source Institution:
Caribbean IRN
Holding Location:
Caribbean IRN
Rights Management:
All rights reserved by the source institution.
System ID:

This item is only available as the following downloads:

Full Text

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We are parents of Gay persons............. 3

Au sujet de nos enfants, French ............ 9
S t TJapanese............ 10
Acerca de nuestros hijos, Spanish ......... 11
About Parents & Friends of Lesbians and Gays 12
We have learned ..........r .............. 13
Books ........................ .. ...... 14
Organizations that support Gay rights ........ 14
How to order booklets andcassettes .......... 15
t1978, 1979 1980. 1982 by
Federation of Parents & Friends of Lesbians and Gays, Inc.
Box 24565, Los Angeles, California 90024
First Published in 1978 by Parents & Friends of Gays / LA
About Our Children is available free to individuals who send a long
sell-addressed stamped envelope. Additional copies, 15< each. See
Page 15 for ordering information for booklets and other materials.
Organizations should inquire about the availability of copies of
About Our Children in quantity.


New windows of understanding have opened to us.
We are committed to help change attitudes and create
an environment of understanding so that our Gay child-
ren can live with dignity and with respect.
We invite you to share our knowledge, to be free
from fear, and to reach out, search, and discover more
about being human.

Aali' M ViMtafAlm9Bnatti *jnAafl ifl 3* i*ffifP
tasnMs Ua. feEfi. qAsg aga

Nous sommes des parents d'homosexuels.
De nouvelles avenues de comprehension se sont ouvertes
A nous. Nous sommes decides A aider A changer les attitu-
des de la soci&et et A career un climate d'entente de maniere
A ce que nos enfants homosexuals puissent vivre avec
dignity et respect. Nous vous invitons A partager nos

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Somos Padres de personas homosexuals.
Se nos han abierto nuevos panoramas de comprensi6n.
Estamos dedicados a ayudar a cambiar actitudes y crear
un ambiente de comprensi6n para que nuestros hijos
homosexuals puedan vivir con dignidad y respeto. Le in-
vitamos a usted a que comparta nuestros conocimientos.


Gay persons are

About 10% of the world
population is homosexual.'
Gay men and Lesbian
women come from families
from all comers of the earth,
from every culture, ethnic
group, and economic level.
A community the size of
Des Moines, Iowa, for ex-
ample, with a population of
194,000, contains about
20,000 Gay citizens. They
and their immediate fam-
ilies number about 50,000.
Some Gay persons fit
special stereotypes, but
most look and act like in-
dividuals from the het-
erosexual majority. Physi-
cal appearance and man-
nerisms have nothing to do
with a person's sexuality.
We may know, for exam-
ple, both masculine women
and effeminate men who
are not Gay.

'Alfred C Kinsey, er al, Sexual
Behavior in the Human Male
(1948), and Sexual Behavior min the
Human Female 11953), [W B.


Gay persons are

Homosexuality, like het-
erosexuality, in and of itself,
is not a mental or emotional
For example, Gay men and
Lesbian women share the
same amount of interest in
sexual activity as hetero-
sexual persons, neither more
nor less.

Gay persons lead lives as
varied as heterosexuals. They
establish stable, longlasting
relationships, work for a
living, shop, watch TV, vote,
and pay taxes.2

'The American Psychiatric Asso-
ciation and The American Psych-
ological Association
'Alan P. Bell and Martin S.
Weinberg, for the Institute for
Sexual Research "Kinsey". Homo-
sexualities A Study ot Human
Diversity, (Simon and Schuster,





0 Gay persons are

"Homosexuality is deep
seated and not something that
one chooses to be or not to
be."' No one knows how
human sexual orientation is
determined. During a decade
of discussions with thousands
of families having Gay and
Lesbian children. Parents
FLAG has found that:
The Gay child is often
aware of his or her sexual
orientation at a very early
None of the children
were influenced or taught to
be Gay by any person.
Family fears of "catching"
homosexuality, or of being
"'recruited" at school or else-
where are ". utterly with-
out scientific foundation."'

'Dr. Alan P Bell, senior author of the
two-volume study, Sexual Preference."
Bell Weinberg and Hammersmith (In-
diana University Press. 19811
'Dr. lack Weinberg, President of The
American Psychiatric Association.
IStatement. 6 October 19771

In families where Gay
children try to become
heterosexual, all attempts fail.
Many unhappy mar-
riages leading to divorce,
leaving heartbroken spouses
and children in their midst oc-
cur because of Gays trying to
conform to the heterosexual
majority. Wouldn't it be bet-
ter for society if people could
be honest with themselves?
Even in unusual, alter-
nate-lifestyle families, the sex-
uality of parents does not in-
fluence or change a child's
sexuality. Dr. Richard Green,
State University of New
York, found no appreciable
difference in normal child de-
velopment when parents were
homosexual or transsexual.'

'Richard Green: "Sexual Identity of 37
Children Raised by Homosexual or
Transsexual Parents,' (The Amencan
Journal of Psychiatry, 135- 6 June 1Q78)
p 692.


0 Gay persons are

One of every four families
has a Gay member. Our
Lesbian daughters and Gay
sons have parents, grand-
parents, sisters and broth-
ers, cousins, aunts and
uncles, and nieces and
nephews, whom they love
and care for.
Rejection of a Gay person
by his or her family is a
tragedy for each person in
the immediate and extend-
ed family unit.

Parents FLAG Help/Hot
Lines are in operation
throughout the nation. The
Help/Hot Line and rap/dis-
cussion meetings help to unite
families and their Gay and
Lesbian children. Permanent
family division and lifetime
heartbreak are often pre-

0 Gay persons

Child abuse: "child bat-
tering, sexual attack, and
molestation," is mostly
committed in the home. In
the United States, 90% of
all sexual child abuse is
committed by heterosexual
men on minor females,' 3
The molesters are fa-
thers, stepfathers, grand-
fathers, uncles, and moth-
ers' boy friends.'
45% of all sexual child
abuse is by the child's own
father.2 Homosexual per-
sons are rarely involved.

'Child Abuse and Neglect: The
Problem and Its Management.
(U.S. Department of Health,
Education, and Welfare, National
Center on Child Abuse and
Neglect) HEW (OHD) 75-30073.
2Paul Gebbard, lohn H. Cagnon,
Wardell Pomeroy, Cornelia V.
Christenson, of the Institute for
Sexual Research "Kinsey," Sex
Offenders-An Analysis of Types,
[Bantam Books, 1967)
'Sexual Child Abuse: A Contem-
porary Family Problem, (National
Organization for Women, and,
Gay Rights Chapter, American
Civil Liberties Union, 1977)

Gay persons are

Our Gay sons and Les-
bian daughters are teachers,
doctors, and ministers.
They work in heavy indus-
try, and are clerks, artists
and athletes, accountants
and city planners.
Special attacks have been
made against our Gay
daughters and sons who are
employed in the classroom,
yet teachers are by law
hired on the merit of their
education, skills, and
talent. In California, the
State Department of Educa-
tion said, ". the current
law is sufficient to protect
pupils from sexual ad-
vances by teachers, whe-
ther homosexual or het-
erosexual, and to prevent
teachers from promoting
their sexual life style or
preference in the class-

'Thomas M. Griffin, Chief
Counsel, State of California
Department of Education, Letter
22 December 1977.

In 1978 California voters
by a 70% majority struck
down a proposal that would
have deprived a Gay man or
woman the right to be a

OGay persons are

In this booklet the word
heterosexual describes per-
sons who are naturally at-
tracted to the opposite sex.
The words Gay, Lesbian,
and homosexual describe
persons who are naturally
attracted to their own sex.
Many of our children
prefer the words Gay or Les-
bian to homosexual, just as
Black is preferred to Negro
by many persons of African
ancestry, or as lapanese, or
Polish, or Italian are pre-
ferred to thoughtless and of-
fensive racial and ethnic
slur words.


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L'homosexualite ne se
choisit pas comme des vtte-
ments ou une profession. Per-
sonne ne salt comment
1'orientation sexuelle est
determine. Apres les discus-
sions avec des families ayant
des enfants homosexuals sur
une period de sept ans, les
parents et les amis d'homose-
xuels ont decouvert que:
L'enfant homosexual est
souvent au courant de son
orientation sexuelle a un tries
jeune age.
Aucundes tenants n'avait
ete influences pour devenir
homosexual par quiconque.
Dans les families ou les
enfants homosexuals essayent
de devenii heterosexuels,
toutes les tentatives ont
La peur qu'ont les fa-
milies de voir leurs enfants
"attraper" I'homosexualite
ou erre "recrutes" A I'ecole ou
ailleurs est totalement
sans fondement scientifique."

Une famille sur quatre a un
membre homosexual. Nos fils
et nos files homosexuals ont
des parents, des grandparents,
des soeurs et des freres, des
cousins, des oncles et des
tantes, des nieces et des
neveux qu'ils aiment et pour
qui ils ont de I'affection

La rejection d'un homose-
xuel par sa famille est une
trag6die pour tous les parents
proches ou distant.

Abus d'enfants: "Les en-
fants battus, sexuellement at-
taques et molests" le sont
generalement au foyer. Aux
Etats-Unis, 90% de tous les
abus sexuels d'enfants sont
commis par des hommes hete-
ros6xuels sur des filles
Les coupables sont generale-
ment le pere, le beau-pere, le
grand-pere, I'oncle ou l'ami de
la mere. Ce sont rarement des

Dans cette brochure le mot
h6terosexuel decrit une per-
sonne qui est naturellement
attiree par le sexe oppose.
Le mot "Gay" ainsi que les
mots Lesbienne et Homose-
xuel decrivent des personnel
qui sont naturellement at-
tirtes par le meme sexe
La plupart de nos enfants
preferent le mot "Gay" ou
Lesbienne plut6t qu'homose-
xuel, de la meme maniere que
le mot Noir est Prefere au mot
Negre par de nombreuses per-
sonnes d'origine africaine, et
que les mors laponais,
Polonais ou Italien sont
preferes aux mots d'argots
cruels appliques racialement
ou ethniquement.

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La homosexualidad no se
elige como se elgen los vesti-
dos, o una clase de trabajo.
Nadie sabe como se determine
la orientaci6n sexual humana.
En discusiones que cubren
site anos con miles de
families con hiios homose-
xuales, los Padres y Amigos de
Homosexuales han descu-
bierto que:
El nioo homosexual tiene
frecuentemente conciencia de
su orientaci6n sexual en una
edad muy temprana.
Nadie influenci6 ni
ensefi6 a ninguno de los hijos a
ser homosexuals o lesbians
En families en que los hi-
jos homosexuals .tratan de
hacerse heterosexuals, fraca-
san todos los intents.
Los temores familiares de
"contaminarse" de la homo-
sexualidad, oser "reclutados"
en la escuela o en otra part
son ". completamente sin
fundamento cienrifico'.

Una de cada cuatro families
tiene un miembro homose-
xual. Nuestros bijos lesbians
e homosexuales tienen padres,
abuelos, hermanos y her-
manas, primos, tias y tios, y
sobrinos y sobrinas a quienes
quieren y por quienes se in-

El repudio de una persona
homosexual por parte de su
familiar es una tragedia para
cada una de las personas de la
unidad familiar inmediata y

Maltrato de los nifios: "el
golpeo, ataque sexual y abuso
sexual de los nifos" se compete
principalmente en el hogar. En
los Esrados Unidos, el 90% del
abuso sexual de los ninos lo
cometen los hombres betero-
sexuales con nifas menores de
Las personas que cometen
estos abuses son los padres, las
padrastros, los abuelos, rios y
amigos de las madres.
El 45% de todo el abuso se-
xual de los nifios lo compete el
propio padre del niio. Rara-
mente estan complicadas las
personas homosexuals.

En este folleto la palabra
heterosexual se refiere a per-
sonas que sienten natural-
mente atracci6n por el sexo
Las palabras "Gay," Les-
biana y homosexual se refie-
ren a personas que siente
naturalmente atracci6n por el
mismo sexo.
Muchos de nuestros hijos
prefieren las palabras "Gay" y
Lesbian a homosexual.

About The first group of parents of Gay persons was
formed in New York in 1973. Shortly thereafter
Parents & groups formed in Los Angeles and in other parts of
Frien f the country. In 1961 the Federation was formed,
Friends of with the acronym Parents FLAG. Although mem-
Lesbians bers are mostly mothers and fathers of Lesbians and
Gay men, other relatives and friends, and Gays, are
and Gays also active members. Everyone is welcome.

Each parents group is a local organization, but each group is concerned
with national and international issues as well. Each group's primary
objective is to help parents and their Gay children to understand and
love one another, and to offer mutual support wherever it is needed.

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Parents speak out and are heard!

"I am not concerned
about my
daughter's homosexuality.
What does concern
me is a
generally misinformed,
hostile society
that may prevent her
from achieving
her potential."
A mother and member of
Parents FLAG

"As the truth
replaces fear and
attitudes are changing
In the meantime,
don't let society
rob you of your
special child."
A mother and member of
Parents FLAG

Federation of Parents & Friends of Lesbians and Gays, Inc. is a non-
profit, tax-exempt, all volunteer organization of parent
groups contacts, not affiliated with any ethnic, religious,
economic, or political group.

Our Gay sons and daughters come from "model" families,
single-parent, those with dominant or submissive
mothers, weak or strong lathers-all kinds
There is no pattern.
Our Lesbian daughters and Gay sons are the only child,
the youngest 'middle/oldest. There is no pattern.
To be free from the burden ot guilt for our children's
natural, normal sexual orientation
To recognize our children's expression of love
as honest and moral


"We love our Gay and Lesbian children."

+ctASfkll [ ASEW1E1AtB) Mios
f r *,W4Ite1 fi j i Afail-t10 T*4e TM.

Comme il a etk prouve par des reunions
de parents d'homosexuels avec d'autres parents,
"Nous aimons nos enfants homosexuals."

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tZS Uthtk t 0)lig BROffllfwo" k .- i L B, L, L 5
t-tt c Sj g,

En las reuniones de Padres de Homosexuales con
otros padres hemos descubierto que
'Nosorros amamos a nuestros hijos homosexualss"

Read by Parents and Recommended

Alan P. Bell, Martin S. Weinberg, Sue Kiefer Hammersmith. Sexual
Preference. (Indiana University Press. 1981)
Betty Berzon and Robert Leighton, Positively Gay. (Celestial Arts. 19781
Mary Borhek. My Son Eric. (Pilgrim Press, 1979)
Howard Brown, Familiar Faces, Hidden Lwes: The Story of Homosexual Men mn
America Today, (Harcourt Brace lovanovich. 19761
Vern L. Bullough. Homosexuality, a History. (New American Library, 1979)
Betty Fairchild and Nancy Hayward, Now That You Know. (Harcourt Brace
Tovanovich, Paperback, 1979)
Alan Malyon, Homosexual Adolescent: Developmental Issues 6 Social Bias
(Journal of Child Welfare, 1981, pp. 321-330)
Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon. Lesbian. Woman (Bantam Paperback, 1977)
Brian McNaught, A Disturbed Piece. (1981; Dignity, 1500 Massachusetts Ave. N.W.,
Suite 11, Washington, D.C. 20005)
Elizabeth Ogg, Changing Views of Homosexuality. Public Affairs Pamphlet No. 563,
(50: Public Affairs Committee, Inc.. 1981, 381 Park Avenue South, New York 10016)
Troy Perry. The Lord is My Shepherd and He Knows I'm Gay, (1972; Universal
Fellowship M.C.C. 5300 Santa Monica Blvd.. Los Angeles. CA 90029)
Letha Scanzoni, Virginia Ramey Mollenkott, Is the Homosexual My Neighbor?,
(Harper & Row, 1978)
Charles Silverstein, A Family Matter. (McGraw Hill Paperback, 1977)


RELIGIONS Lutheran Church in America United Church of Christ Christian
Church (Disciples of Christ) National Federation of Priests' Councils 5 Common-
weal Christianity and Crisis a National Conference of Catholic Bishops Catholic
Theological Society of America National Council of Churches The Protestant
Episcopal Church Society of Friends Pacific Yearly Meeting (Quaker) Ameri-
can Friends Service Committee Unitarian-Universalist Association United Metho-
dist Church United Presbyterian Church Union of American Hebrew Congrega-
tions Commission of Social Action to Reform Judaism PROFESSIONAL OR-
GANIZATIONS Amencan Public Health Association American Psychological As-
sociation American Psychiatric Association American Medical Students' Associa-
tion American Personnel and Guidance Association American Association for the
Advancement of Science American Anthropological Association American Libra-
ry Association American Association of University Professors American Federa-
tion of Teachers (AFL-CIO) California Teachers Association United Teachers of
Los Angeles (AFL-CIO) National Education Association CIVIC ORGANIZA-
TIONS American Civil Liberties Unions Los Angeles City Council San Francisco
City and County Governments San Francisco Labor Council National Organiza-
tion for Women (NOW)* National Association for the Advancement of Colored Peo-
ple (NAACP) Young Women's Christian Association of the United States (YWCAl 0
California Democratic Counsil State of California Fair Employment Practices Com-
mission Libertarian Party National Women's Conference (IWY) National Plan of
Action California League of Women Voters Partial List a

The Federation of Parents & Friends of Lesbians and Gays is active m many parts of
the U.S.A. and other nations. We can furnish speakers for your organization. Our
lending library is available to groups and individuals. Regular rap meetings are held
throughout the United States. (Contact Parents FLAG headquarters for your nearest
parent group or contact )
[n addition to this brochure (of which hundreds of thousands have been
distributed Parents FLAG has also produced a series of cassettes. These tapes of 20
workshops, conducted during Parents FLAG First International Convention (held in
August 1982 in Los Angeles), are now available to individuals or groups. The topics
are: 1. Politics in the Gay, Lesbian Community 2. Lesbians in the Woman's Move-
ment 3. Reaching the Community at Large through Public Relations 4. How to
Come Out to Family and Friends. 5. Legislation Affecting Lesbians/Gays 6. How to
Conduct a Speakers Bureau 7. Bulk Mailing and Packet Assembly for Your Group *
8. How to Facilitate a Rap Group 9. How to Handle a Parent FLAG Help, Hot Line *
10. Organizational Challenges 1I. Alcoholism in the Gay/Lesbian Community 12.
Counseling Spouses and Friends s 13. How to Reach the Religious Community at
Large 14. Challenges for Gay.'Lesbian Couples 15. Gay,'Lesbian Literature and
History 16. Medical/ Health Problems in the Gay, Lesbian Community 17. An Ar-
rest in the Family 18. Sharing Ideas and Experiences 19. The Gay/Lesbian Adoles-
cent 20. Visibility of Lesbians in Professional Careers.
Cassette Prices: 1-4 tapes 55 each: 5 or more tapes $4 each: set of all 20 tapes $65 (set
includes one surprise bonus tape); please add 25c per tape for mailing.

Mail to: Parents FLAG. P.O. Box 24565, Los Angeles, CA 90024
O I am interested in becoming a local parent contact. Please contact me.
O I am interested in starting a local parent group. Send me a "How to Start a Parent
Group" packet.
O Send me a copy of your newsletter.
0 Send me another copy of About Our Children. I have enclosed a self-addressed.
long, stamped envelope.
O Send me additional copies of About Our Children. I have enclosed 15c for
each copy
O Send information about the availability of About Our Children in large quantities.
O Send me the following cassettes (please order by number):

I have enclosed S (see price schedule above) plus 25c per cassette for
O Enclosed is my tax-deductible contribution of $__ to help support the
Parents FLAG educational programs.
City State Zip

Box 24565
CA 90024

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